Clint: "I'm not kidding. You and Nora are gonna be gone for what feels like weeks and then you will both return to the show and I'm gonna be in a hospital bed. Crazy shit, huh? Well, this is a crazy town."
Good Morning, darlings! It's 5:45 or something. Yay! Lord...last night I just sent an email to my darling friend, Beth, and I had so many grammatical errors. I then attempted to blog and was so disoriented I wasn't making sense...heavens! Despite my exhaustion, I had an excellent day yesterday. I THINK we found a new apartment...score. Work was great. Aaaand...Bo and Nora finally made a damn appearance! Yay! Bonus/Icing on the Cake: Hillary Smith tweeted me yesterday morning! AH!!! Technically twice, but specifically she tweeted me once. I'll shut up now. I haven't shut up about this to Ross or MH. Lord.
Ok, so without further adieu...
I flove the headlines of "The Sun" since they are so damn obnoxious! Starr's shirt is cute. Gigi take notes!!!! Wow...so Vicki is back to being awesome and selfless. Amazeballs! UGH!!!! Toad Manning...don't say "God, I thought she'd never leave." WOOF ON YOU! Vickster is the shit. Don't talk smack, Toad. Just don't. Whoa..."The Banner" only has 1/3 of the circulation "The Sun" does? Damn.
I can tell I'm gonna hate this reporter, Blanca Morales (sp?). Granted, she is a Daphne Duplaix clone (who else misses Rachel Gannon?), but I am not enjoying her so far. This fake phone call is effing absurd. I'm gonna be even more pissed when Destiny tells her a bunch of shit. Woof.
Good God! I want to do a back handspring...Bo and Nora AND Matthew all in the same scene? All this "Access Llanview" talk! They won't end this shit!
Now wait just a damn minute...who is this new clown of a doctor?! They just can't find a stellar MD to replace Greg Evans so they keep changing it up. Greg can never be replaced. These other clowns can't act 1/2 as tawdry as Greg Evans did...and he didn't even try.
Kim Zimmer not in blue? Something's up. Ah...she IS in blue in the flashback. They just HAD to show her in blue. Note to self: Find out what cell phone Echo has because my iPhone sure as hell doesn't work in an elevator. This bitch must have the inside scoop!
Dorian darling...please remove your hair out from underneath your hat! Good Lord!!! I need this look to vanish...stat! Actually I'll let this fashion taboo slide so I can see Vickster and Mrs. Vickers-Buchanan have some scenes. Bring.It.On. The bodyguard...awesome sauce. Dorian...find that Talkboy recording!!!!!!!
Aw hell...Inez two days in a row. If NQS surfaces I'm gonna eat glass for breakfast instead of muffins. Dear Inez, Don't worry about Bobby. Just let him sleep it off like Bo and then lie to Bobby about what happened. Works everytime. Please don't be on the show tomorrow, ME
Tess...dammit!!!! Stop getting everyone's hopes up about Ford being dead. April Fools was LAST month. I'm tired of your antics, ho!
Inez: "Do you think you can stand up? Cause if you can stand up then I can drive you to the hospital." Lord. Or you could just get an ambulance Inez. Woof. hahaha...OF COURSE Brody is the one to surface!!! Inez is such a dipshit! She always calls THE worst people for help! hahaha! Remember when she called Elijah Clark for Ford to be his attorney. God bless. Brody's shit-eating grin is priceless.
Wait...y'all know I was joking about Greg Evans being irreplaceable? I was.
I loathe this bitch, Blanca. I think she is a bad actress. SORRY! I hate to say that. It's rare when I do. Her acting is so...forced? Destiny, please zip your lips...
Good God...so I'm horrified. WHY IN THE HELL IS MATTHEW'S HAIR SLICKED BACK?! The "American Psycho" hair does NOT work for him, people! Why does the hair department continue to torture me with this ugliness?! He is NOT working for BE anymore! It's nighttime for crying out loud. His shirt is shitty, too. Woof on his look today. Soooo...Bo just kept all this to himself since when??? I'm so confused as to what day it is. If these Bo and Nora scenes don't get longer I"m gonna f*@kin' lose my mind...what little is left!
Oooohhh....I bet I'll enjoy this. Echo: "How are you feeling?" Clint: "Clearly you've never had a heart attack or you wouldn't be asking such questions." haha. OF COURSE, Clint retains his humor in a hospital bed. I had no doubt. He is the shit. I'm so glad this silver fox is talking, p.s.
Vicki explains the whole thing with Nikki like she is talking about a child that acts bad from time to time. LOL. So matter of factly...not the way Jean Randolph would (miss her) but in a very cool, calm collected manner. Aw shit...here we go. "You knew Charlie was sleeping with Echo WEEKS ago?!" Score.
Todd you need to ask Starr and everyone else why Deanna and James are hogging all the f*@king airtime!!!
I'd rather hear Langston say "impor-ent" than watch Blanca. This bitch is drivin' me nuts. I'll be Marty Saybrooke before this blog post is over, I swear!!! Destiny...STFU!!!!
Bo is still tan. Ah. He is so scrumptious. F*@K. I practically blinked and missed the scene. Also...Nora didn't even talk. What the hell!? Ugh.
Dammit...I am really liking Brody lately. I'm sure he'll just leave now since I like him. Balls!!!
Thank God, I think Cutter is getting over Aubs and saying to hell with her. About damn time! Wise up, Cutter.
I think Toad is bipolar. He is being super nice and I'm not attributing this to a near death experience. WORD!
May I just say that I hate Inez's apartment. It is all brown. Poo! haha...
Tess: "Serves me right for caring I should have killed that bastard!" OMG. Tess, do you realize like over half of the OLTL viewing audience has been thinking the same thing! Way to screw up, crazy girl! Marty's crazy ass wouldn't have made that kind of monumental error. Take notes.
hahaha!!! Dorian: "I thought it was an OTO. A one time only thing." Ummmm...totally gonna use that now! Sweet! Even better: "She's a sleazy bitch." Katie...Strasser said bitch! De-lish! Yes...the Talkboy will surface. I feel it.
Ummm Clint the "strange reason" Echo makes Chuckles happy is because she is effing him to death! I swear they are the ONLY people that get action on this show. Lord today! Echo's about to blow a damn gasket about Dorian.
Please talk this segment, Nora. Ah...thank you. FACT: They are letting Hillary dress herself lately. That has to be her own cami and jewelry. They would never let Nora wear something cool like that.
OH GOOD GOD I HATE THIS REPORTER. My idea of hell: Langston saying "impor-ent." Deanna saying "Dayt-en." Flashbacks to the Ford's Body Shop. This reporter bitch pretending to talk on the phone. Plus, all the Llantano Mountain/Stacey Morasco shit from February of 2010. I'll stop there for now.
Is it just me or does Matthew ALWAYS stand up to Bo then Bo shuts down Matthew. Matthew then immediately turns to Nora and says "Do something!" Or, "This isn't fair." LOL. Then she tells him "no" and he retreats to his room or leaves the house. Finally...Bo and Nora alone together. Let's see if these scenes are more than 2 seconds. Ahhh! An Asa reference. Be still my heart! Nora's being uber selfless...good God.
Echo...F*@K! You are gonna give Clint another damn heart attack! Lower your tone, ho!
LOL...Dorian: "It's a mini-cassette recorder. It couldn't have gotten far." She is so cute and sassy. Aaaaand, Dorian just snatched Vickster's purse. Flove it. Does that recorder kinda look like a cell phone to y'all??? These scenes are FABU by the way.
Echo: "She's a doctor, Clint." Clint: "Yeah, a doctor from hell!" hahahaha! I actually rewound that since I thought it was so funny! I bet Dorian is a doctor from hell. She doesn't do shit anymore.
Aw hell. Here we go again with "Poor Vicki." I MUST come up with a new phrase. Regardless, she better use this Talkboy to her advantage!
I don't want to watch Cutter and Tess have sex. This is taking advantage, Cutter. She's not real. You're screwing an imaginary person. Woof.
Did I mention I hate Inez's apartment? It looks like someone vomited butter everywhere. Ugh. Those colors!
Thank you, Cutter. I can't see anymore Minuteman sex. So over that cest pool. WOOF!
Eh...the Brody/Ford scenes.
Not only do I hate these Blana/Destiny scenes but...HOW BAD IS THE MUSIC AT THE BUENOS DIAS?! I want to slam my head into a brick wall repeatedly. Anything is better than listening to whoever that whiny bitch is singing. Woof.
Nora's right, Bo. You're a sap deep down and you know you want to see Clint. "Please do not turn your back on Clint out of loyalty to me." AWESOMENESS! How selfless! She is so fabulous. Oooh a story?! Awe...so sweet.
Echo is nervous as hell. Echo...here is a memo to you: You DO NOT deserve a second chance. All you do are steal other people's men and lie about your paternity results. DAMMIT...that's everyone in Llanview! I take it back!!! That backfired on me, didn't it?
Vicki, believe it honey. Dorian: "duplicitous derriere." FLOVE it. Oh, in case you're wondering: Duplicitious--adj. deceitful. Y'all are gonna learn shit from this blog if it kills me!!! Actually, a lot of you already knew it I'm sure. It's for my own knowledge really. I love learning vocab words. I'm such a douche.
God bless you Toad...escorting people out of town?! Please just get rid of all the damn newbies.
OMG...so Nora got Bo to go to the hospital. So awesome! I've MISSED y'all's fabulous asses!!! Please stick around! Y'all make everything look so easy together...ah! Lord have mercy...and a kiss! Yay!
Destiny, I'm beyond angry with you. I need you to just hush your butt. NOW! Don't go cry to Matthew! You just blabbed your shit to Rachel Gannon's clone!
Oooooh Bo/Clint!!!! Eh...I think Clint is lying about dying. Look at that rhyme!
Sweetness...Vicki/Echo/Dorian...ah! Flove them! Echo will shit multiple bricks before this is all over...word.
Brody...the rules of Criminal Procedure would frown upon you breaking down the door so quickly. That's all I'm gonna say.
OF COURSE...weird phone call. Roger Howarth? Ummm has to be. Kinda obvious at this point.
AH!!! Ok, I have to go get ready for work! See y'all this evening. I don't know if I can do this morning thing again.