Tuesday, May 24, 2011

It's That Time of Year: Pre-School Graduation

Clint and Vicki: "We are so proud of our Joey! He FINALLY graduated from pre-school, and we couldn't be happier."

In my BEST Clairee Belcher voice (God, does ANYONE know who that is?) I'm saying "Good Mornin' Good Mornin!" Ugh...I have to be at work early today. Drive-by of today and then FULL post today since all this Matthew shit is about to go down...lord!

Timeout...I know some people are like WTF, ME? Why this pic? I wanted a pic of Joey when he was little (think the age of pre-k or kindgergarten) and this is all I could find. Soooo....in honor of Joey graduating from pre-k today (he grew a pair and stood up to Aubs so he deserves a grand affair) I thought the pic was fitting. ;) Oh, and please excuse all the errors I'm going to have...HURRIDLY typing here so I can crank this post out for y'all to read this morning!

Monday, May 23rd--Herpes Hotel Version of Events
1. My GOD! EVERYONE has been in the same clothes for week I swear. Observation #1. I mean Tomas' shirt is clean and starched yet he has had it on for four months. My ass.
2. I'd love for these Bo and Nora scenes to be longer than 2 seconds. Ugh. Nora's still being a hardass about Clint...awesome town.
3. Every damn time they show Matthew in pain with his head I feel the need to take Advil.
4. NO!!!!!!!! Can't/Won't discuss this ATROSH Dayt-en and NQS horseshit. In case I was uncertain, I can now verify that I was indeed left behind after the Rapture and am being forced to watch these scenes as punishment. Woof!
5. Well, I honestly just don't know what in the hell to think about these RH scenes. Besides the fact that those white keds look like something I wore in first grade, I got nothin'. I mean...this shit is confusing. At least RH can wear his shoes to Joey's pre-k festivities...
7. YES! I flove that Nora just said that Matthew confessing is not an option. I'd probably say the same thing. I know her saying that is why some people think she and Bo are self-righteous and judgmental hypocrites, but this is one of the many reasons why I love her!
8. Sean to Todd: "Yeah right. If that guy [Tomas] is innocent, I'm Hannah Montana." OF COURSE this show would have a Slutty Cyrus reference...OF COURSE! Next thing you know they are gonna be singing "Party in the USA." I'm telling you!
9. OMIGOD...I feel like a proud mother and I need to take pics. Joey has made such progress within the past few weeks. I couldn't be more proud of him standing up to Aubs. I'm getting teary as I type this....whannn!!!!
10. Yeah...this Toad/Todd shit is gonna take a looooooong time to come out. Like, how long it takes to go to the DMV long.
11. Well, I am not a violent person but I want to fly through the tv and pull a wrestling move on Mes. I mean...she is such a blabber mouth. Yes Matthew...she told Dan-YELLA like 2 seconds after you told her. She is uber trustworthy lemme tell ya. You cashed in your v-card to a motormouth! Boo!
12. "Like hell!" Flove it, Bo! Keep this up.
13. Sean doesn't beat around the bush with this sex shit. This whole conversation is hilar!
14. I just peed when Toad was informed Tomas had been staying there: "Yeah! Yeah! Sonofabitch!" His temper is off the handle, yo?
15. How incredibly sad/pathetic/ridic is it that I am feeling kinda sorry for Aubs? I know. I want to even beat the shit out of myself, but...well dammit it's the way I feel for now. I still want her gone, but...well, just sayin'.
16. Sonofabitch...I flove John and Kelly and it's ending today. Woof of monumental proportions but I knew this was coming. Plus, why would they stay together? I liked them so that means they will break up.
17. Times! All these Marty references...where in the HELL is Marty's Playhouse?! I need it back in my life STAT!!!!
18. I flove that Nora and Bo were like NOT prepared for this Tomas shit! ha! OMG BO IS ADORBS: "This is my town. I don't like trouble here." Cutie pie...you tell 'em! Wow..."It burns me when I have to let someone get away with a crime." Heavens!
19. Sweet lord! I CANNOT watch when Matthew's head hits the table. NO MORE FLASHBACKS! Dammit I cannot deal!
20. MH and I discussed this yesterday, but we need Gina Tognoni to dye her hair back blonde. Thank you OL hair and make-up department for considering our simple request. xx, ME & MH
21. Joey...it's your big graduation day so I need you to stand strong and not cave when it comes to Aubs. You've come so far! Keep your eye on the prize--kindgergarten!!!! Stay strong!
22. Sweet lord...how many times did Mes interupt Matthew when he was trying to tell her that Nate knew? Interrupting is RUDE!!!!
23. Toad's little 'tude with Sean is comical. Sean could sneeze and beat Toad's ass. Times...Tea is so sass! Flove it! So fiery!
24. Aaaaaand these interrogations of RH are already boring me. Move this shit along!!! Choo! Choo!!!! Let's leave this station shall we? Woof!
25. No Bo and Nora in the 4th segment...FAIL! Obviously I DEF got left behind. There is just no other explanation.
26. OMG...guess who else is a FAIL? ME! Yes, yours truly. I suck because I felt sorry for Aubs this episode. Omigod, if I were blogging about me I'd badmouth the hell out of me. Jesus.
27. FLOVE that Tea kicked out Tomas.
28. I need Inez's apartment to blow up right now. That could take care of so many issues right there...seriously.
29. I feel like Nora when she rolled her eyes and threw her purse down...OF COURSE Destiny beat y'all to the punch and told Matthew about Clint. She won't shut the f*@k up!!!
30. Tea's ring is lovely, too. Oh, and so tired of this Tomas/Toad secretive bullshit. Out with it!!!
31. Aaaand Kelly and John's relationship is over...just like that. Well...Happy Tuesday morning to me.
32. Please!!!!!!!! Please someone have explosives planted at Inez's apartment. I need this place to go up in smoke now...WORD!
33. AHHHHH!!!!!! I knew it was coming and I'm still upset when Matthew collapsed! Whann! Poor B/N. I'm sure today's episode will be dramatic and I'll be all upset...woof.
34. OMG...these RH scenes have just gone around in circles. It's like the movie "Groundhog Day." It's the SAME MOTHER F*@KING thing everyday! Please move this convo along already! Dammit!!!!

Whew! I've never typed so damn fast in my life! Pretty sure nothing made sense but oh well! I'll probably go on and post about Tuesday's show tonight. Word! K...gotta run and be at work early! If there are comments I'll respond from work.

Have a FABOOSH day!



  1. You know I know who Clairee Belcher is! If you can't say anything nice then come sit next to me! I really am more of a Quisa myself though...

  2. Thanks for my morning laugh.... Hysterical once again, you out did yourself ;) So not ready for what B&N are facing =( as for Inez, yes someone needs to BLOW her and her juice heads to kingdom come!! Have a great day!!!

    Kim (twitter-kim100676)

  3. @Katie I KNEW you would know! You are probably one of about five that know! I flove Quisa! However, I feel I identify more with Clairee. ;)I try to live my life like her!

    @Kim Well you're quite welcome and thank you so much for the compliments, darling! I'm surprised the post makes kinda sense! Lord help me with this B/N stuff...gonna be tough! OMG NO WORDS for Inez and her shirtless crew. Huge woof! Have a great day, as well!

  4. @Mija,

    Sorry for my absence... I could blame it on work and other responsibilities (which would be true), but now that the show has been cancelled, it is hard to watch. It keeps getting better and better (at least in my opinion), and it just saddens me that something I consider an institution is going to cease to exist in a relatively short time.

    Please indulge me for a minute...

    We all knew that Destiny can't hold water, let alone a secret. When the vice principal of the school was trying to find out who bullied Shane, his investigation started and concluded with asking Destiny who did it. So giving her something that HUGE was like asking Tess to dress conservatively; it ain't gonna happen.

    P.S. I love how Destiny told Dayten...I know who you are, and she replied, "Okay" (let me sit myself down somewhere)... lol.

    (My only) Todd and that gun. I think the paternity test were switched yet again and TSJ's version of Todd is really Clint's son, given how he loves to whip a grip on a person.

    What does John do to these women? Kelly started speaking like a little girl in his presence???? I thought she was going to start changing all of her r's and l's to w's.

    I can relate to you on "Aubs". I guess I feel bad for her because Joey is...well... Joey, it's like they told John... people lie to you all the time, just suck it up and act like the baby is yours... you are stupid enough to go back to her eventually.

    Random thought... Where is Bree? ...smh...that girl is going to be SOOO over the top when she grows up...

    I don't want to see Matthew die. I don't want to see Bo lose another son. I don't want to see Nora breakdown...I don't want to see them pretend David Vickers wouldn't come back for this.


  5. Fords ALL Fords need to die, but I want to be the one who gets to kill Nate! Little F*&ker! He about pushed me over the edge when he dismissed what happened to Nora.

    I have my tissues ready for today, I am sure I'll need them. Our poor little family.

    YES PLEASE! Get this damn two Todds story going already! RH is to cool to be strapped into a chair for weeks having the same convo.

  6. @Akesha Darling, I understand. I'm in depression central, too. Oh, and you're right...the show HAS gotten better. So sad. Regardless, glad you're back!

    I peed on myself with your Destiny comments! I know she can't keep her mouth closed for shit but this whole thing upset me...woof! I did like the Dayt-en/Des meeting...nice. Oh, and your Todd is my only Todd, too...WORD! Nice Clint theory. OMG timeout! YES! Kelly DID talk in that baby voice!!!!! WTF is up with that?! LOL. Who knows what McBain's magic potion is made of but obviously that shit works! I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling a bit sorry for Aubs. I was caught at a weak moment...that's it. LOL...where is Bree?! In the attic with Addie, Hope and Renee Divine I guess? Who the hell knows. That little girl will be a hot mess like her mama but even worse. Lord. I don't think they are gonna kill Matthew...thank heavens. Nothing is for sure, but I don't think that is the route they are gonna go. Someone else will be Clint's donor. Maybe Shane? Rex? Joey? There are rumors that one or all are leaving. Who knows, dear?!

    @MojoMiller I'm still hot and bothered with all the TT talk yesterday...lord have mercy! I couldn't even blog about the Nate scenes...RIDICULOUS!!! Also, those scenes just demonstrated how low his IQ really is. I HATE that I can't watch live! Thank God MH gives me a live feed through google talk...ha! totally agree taht RH is too effing cool to be strapped in that chair...in all white and white Keds no less. UGH! This MUST move along! Have a feeling it is ALL we will see this summer. Woof.

  7. Destiny...Destiny why won't you shut up! Literally the reason, half the town knows is because of her! Did you know on the Soap Central site where they do the recaps, they describe RH's Todd as "the man who looked like Todd pre-plastic surgery" or "the man with Todd-like features who may be Todd but we are not sure" and they say it every time! Ok the last one wasn't true, but they are obviously trying not to give anything away!LOL

  8. I feel totally paranoid right now because they don't have abc.com blocked at my job, so I'm watching OLTL at work...

  9. @Mija,

    It would have made more sense to me if Shane received the head injury and died as a result.

    Natalie would have begged Rex and GiGi to help Clint. Vickie would have said something cool and succinct that really made...what is it Rigi? Gex? ...anyway the dynamic duo think deep thoughts about helping Clint. How could Clint deny Rex after such a "heart-wrenching" sacrifice. Then Rex and Gigi...too devastated to stay in the town that caused their son so much pain, could leave (since they are rumored to do so), and work on rebuilding what they have left in a new place on the west coast.

    Wait Wait Wait

    I don't know if Shane (with the cancer) would be a potential match for Clint, but hey... I like my scenario much better...

  10. Oh and forgot the most important part... the brain injury would have resulted from what? a silly nuJack prank... Blair is much more interesting in those types of scenes than she is with Tomas.

  11. Oh My God...I love it. I absolutely love it...and I'm crushed that it took me so long to find this. I've spent the last few hours reading your posts from the last few months and laughing until my sides ache. Can't wait to see your comments in "real time". :)

  12. Oh heavens...obviously trying to get back to these comments at work did NOT happen. Ok...

    @YoSammity LOL...Soap Central is VERY subtle!!! flove it! Shut up!? You got to watch OL at work?! HOW? You have on headphones or something? OMG...thank God MH gives me a live feed of the days Bo and Nora are on or I swear I'd die. I'm too scared to watch videos at work. Good for you though! Again, so glad you're back commenting! ;)

    @Akesha Lord...tell me about it. It would have made MUCH more sense for this to happen to Shane. I FLOVE your scenario! Aaaaand you don't write for this show because??? I think the writers were going to kill Matthew and now they aren't. I still hope it is Shane, Rex or even Joey who dies instead. I'm not up to speed on the Shane and him being a match. I think I peed on myself with your Rex/Gigi schpeel!!!! Oh, and of course...NuJack's prank would be the cause of Shane's head injury. Oh lord it has been so nice not to see NuJack lately...too good.

    @Sherri Well darling, I'm so glad you like it!!! Always thrilled to have new people who stumble upon this crazy blog! I'll have another post in the morning. Welcome aboard and thanks for your compliments...too sweet! ;)

  13. Oh My God! I do not know what you eat and drink during the day but I want some. You are the funniest freaken person I have ever had the pleasure of stumblin on. I can NOT get enough of your blogs. I sat here and smiled at EVERY LAST point you made for Tuesday. I LMAO at your comments about Miley and you needing advil for Matthews headache.... HOly crap. Thank God I came upon this. I WILL be posting it on OLTL page (if that's okay)... more people need to see this. I am still trying to decipher some of your abreviations; i.e. MH & Skype? Oh, and just so you know, I don't know if it's the actor or the character but i can NOT STAND Nate!! That's it. Will be reading today's blog in a quick mo... :)

  14. @Jen Hullman Well, I'm drinking cabernet right now darling...go get you some! You are so sweet! I'm glad you find me humorous! I'm so glad I am making SOMEONE smile! My pleasure! OMG...I am NOT a Miley fan but I sadly and embarassingly lurve "Party in the USA" because I'm such a douche. I couldn't handle Matt touching his head since it made MY head hurt. You can post it anywhere you want! The more people that read it the better. I just post it on the OLTL page on facebook and twitter...that's it. Oh...hehe "MH" is my darling friend Mary Heather who watches and will post for me when I am either out of town, etc. She is darling! Wait...skype? Did I say that? Oh, and I hate Nate, too!!! Oh...and "Ross" is my fiance who watches with me. I also give random shout outs to readers who comment, etc. Thanks again, m'am!

  15. My laptop screen got a good cleaning this morning after I sprayed it with orange juice after reading this blog post. :) It thanks you, I'm sure as it really needed it.

    I too was a John/Kelly fan. To be fair, I like Joey and Kelly too, but I think John and Kelly have great chemistry and I wish they'd been given more of a chance. I often say that if I like a pairing on a show, it's the kiss of death. They're doomed...you can count on it...and so it is... :)

    Love your blog..thanks for the laughs.

  16. @Sherri Heavens! I hope your computer survived! So glad the blog post was spit-worthy! ;) Yes, I floved John and Kelly as you know I'm sure. I liked Joey and Kelly back in the day but I still lurve her with Kevin. I just have an uber crush on Kevin Buchanan...like no other. OMG...agree about liking a pairing and then it's the kiss of death. Thankfully, I should have that problem with my favorites: Bo and Nora. However, they were apart for 10 damn years so they better not break up. I'm so glad you liked the post and it was my pleasure to make you laugh, dear!