Thursday, March 31, 2011

Trichotillomania Thursday

Charlie: "I'm so saw-ry. I'm making that Mary-Ella girl pull all her hair out because of my actions. Saw-ry."

Darlings, HELLO!!! Hope y'all are having a fabulous Thursday! Today's show was bound to be better than yesterday's trainwreck since we at least got the Fab Four on...whew!

Confused by my title? It's because Charlie is on and his actions...well they make me PULL MY HAIR OUT!!!! He is driving me nuts. Oh...and this is the only pic I could quickly obtain of Chuckles B. Yes, I know I have used it bad. It happens.

OMG! The graphing paper look of MyFace MUST go! Those grids are effing heinous.

Deanna and Rick school colors were green and gold, too , and we wore those same kinda practice jerseys. Thumbs up.

More screwing at the Minuteman...just perfect. If the writers are trying to get me to hate Charlie as he leaves the show, well they are doing one helluva job! Dear God! He effs her, leaves her, and then feels guilty for what he is doing to Vicki. WOOF on all of this.

Man...Clint Buchanan is the most dashingly handsome man I have ever seen in a jail cell. Lord have mercy! He looks great in that button up! And...Vicki looks totally out of place at the jail. Damn...and Vicki is rocking the silver outfit today! How perfect do these two look together?! Jail cell or no jail cell...FABOOSH!

Nice dress to wear to a custody hearing, Tess. Not loud or anything...very demure, that hot pink and black.

Did they give Nora a new necklace?! Love it! Wait...Bo and Nora just touched...then kissed. Something is def up. Why would be allowed such a wonderful display? Surely something is wrong.

Oh my God...Clint Buchanan, marry me! Wait...did Clint just say take Jess/Tess straight to Dr. Levin? WHAT?! He is an AWFUL doctor! He can't cure shit, people of Llanview! Wise-up!

Actually, I'll marry Bo first...THEN Clint. Wait...two kisses between B&N in ONE episode?! *sigh* Love it.

I HATE Ford's attorney!!!! Dammit! He looks scary as hell!

Echo isn't wearing blue?! Between this and B/N kissing twice...well obviously an anvil is dropping soon or Mercury is in retrograde or something. it in retrograde? I'll have to look. Charlie looks tan. BK must have just returned from a vaycay.

My God...Rick wants EVERYONE in his porn!!!! Sidenote: Ross LOVES Rick the porno guy. Of course...ugh. He then just said "maybe I should start making porn movies for extra cash." Ummmm no. This show is ruining us, I swear.

Eh...this Deanna/James/Starr thing. Not doin' it for me...

However, the Nutella commercial always does it for me. Love it.

Totally believe Clint when he says "I'm not a killer." That is for sure. All the other shit...ummm yeah, totally believable.

God...that lawyer is a DOUCHE!!!!! And...I hate this judge. Piggies. Nora: "Where's Charlie?" Getting an STD as we effing doubt.

Charlie is the biggest ass-clown to hit television. To add insult to injury he just said "I'm saw-ry." UGH...kill me. No one in Llanview has phonetic knowledge of any kind. I hate this town sometimes.

This Shane thing breaks my heart. :( NuJack is without a doubt, the most phenomenal actor on case y'all didn't know. I'm clarifying it people.

I think Ross may leave me for Rick the porn guy. He LURVES the cheesiness. This is the "New Orleans" in him coming out, I feel it.

OH YESSSSSS!!!! Bo and Clint...thank you soap gods! These two together make my life.

Hell, I'm surprised Rex didn't go track down Bo and Step Nora for advice! Surprised he is going to his own mother.

OMG...I'm nauseous watching Shane get bullied...seriously. This is breaking my heart.

I cannot STAND Deanna's shirt! It looks like the sign for the "K.O.A." campground that you see on the interstate!!!!! OMG exactly like it! How did I not notice this earlier?

Yay! Bo/Clint. Nothing to say...they are just being awesome like they do best.

Whoa? Vicki runs "The Banner?" And the judge asks if she would have time to take care for the infant?! LOL What kind of a joke was that? That's like someone asking "Dorian, you're the mayor of Llanview do you have time to care for this child?" hahaha! As if Dorian is EVER at work. People don't do shit in Llanview. Charlie you effing two-faced bastard!!!! I want to beat you with a ham!!!!!!!! Dammit!

Again...Bo and Clint being badasses. I want to know the answer to the question, dammit! Why were you leaving the room with a gun?

OMG...Vicki just kinda lost her cool for a bit when Tess started throwing Charlie's cheating out in the open. LISTEN to TESS, Victoria!!!!! Oh...SPOILER.... Nikki Smith is coming out to play soon...y'all hear that?! I think April 18th or something. Woo hoo!!!!

Kim Zimmer is such a good actress and I like her sooooo much better on here than on GL.

OMG...I cannot watch this!!! These Shane scenes are making me upset. Whether I like this story or not (I don't care for it), it still upsets me.

Wow...even James knows the Minuteman is a fleabag motel.

Yeah...Ross wants to just BE Rick the porn guy at this point. He loves him. HELP ME!!!

Really? A Megan Fox reference? This show is too much sometimes.

Go ahead Starr. Call out your brother!!!! While you're at it, tell him you miss the OLD, COOL Jack.

"What the hell happened to you? You know you used to be my hero." Awe...ain't that the truth. I know they have a showdown coming up in April...bring that shit.

FACT: Vicki is looking FIERCE today!!! Ugh...don't kiss his lips, Victoria! They have been ALL OVER Echo...woof!

April Fools joke, NuJack? It's March 31st. Fail.

LOL...Tess called Vicki a smug bitch.

God Bless America! Charlie is BACK at the Minuteman to see Echo! F*@k me...out of control, Chuckles! OUT OF CONTROL!!! Oh...quick driving, by the way. Isn't the Minuteman kinda out of town?

FINALLY! Vicki saw some evidence...about damn time.

Bo darling, I love you but Clint will get out of this...face it.

OMG I just want to see the REST of Nora at the tired of seeing the SAME thing over and over.

Soooo....they brought Marty back for a day and that's it. Eff that.

Where's Matthew? Hmmm.

Not a bad day today! Tomorrow looks promising, too! Cheers to hoping it is. See y'all tomorrow or this weekend.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Joey and Friends

Joey: "Cutter, I know it was you that took my rubber duckie out of the bathtub! Now tell me what you did with it!!!"

My title is silly, and there is really no meaning to it. If he ever had his own show, it could be called that. I was just trying to tie a title to the picture. ;)

Hump Day! Hump Day! I'm trying to go and post early (I even got to workout already...fabulous) so I can have a leisurely evening. I'm watching/posting at the same time. My friend, Heather, said I will probably need to have a glass of wine and type this since Lang is on and no Buchs. I'm out of wine. :( However, Ross' faboosh self just went out in the cold to the grocery store for me to get that amongst other things so I could type this. :)

F*@K!!! Langston and Starr in the first scenes. I just KNOW the show will suck today. Damn. Starr's hair is cute today. Wait...Starr and Lang don't see each other?! Don't they live under the same roof now since Starr left that shithole apartment that she and Cole used to live in with the stop signs and other random crap in it? Oh, and it had cinder-block walls.

The background of MyFace looks like graphing paper. It is nothing but a bunch of grids. Ugh.

"Bo Bags Bro!" I LOVE the headlines of "The Sun!"

John and Kelly!!!! Thank God you two are on to save this shitastic episode. I LOVE these two together!!! I am sure people are screaming at the top of their lungs how much they hate these two and want their beloved John/Natalie reunion but I'm fine with these two for now. ;) And...I'm thrilled to see people having sex BESIDES those STD riddled gold-diggers who are always hitting the sheets (probably unclean at the Minuteman).

Lord...Liam is adorable, too! Preciousness overload! Yes...I like Brody and Natalie, too. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marty!!!!! Ah!!!!!! Be still my heart! At first I thought, "wait who is knocking on the door at Llanfair? It's Grand Central with no security system so, by all means, just storm in whoever you are." Ooooohhhh I think I would have loved it if Marty would have just charged into the house like a crazed maniac. That would have been better. Discharged! Thank God. I've never heard a sweeter word. Wait just a damn minute....where is the doll?! Huh? Come on!

Line of the Day from Kelly Cramer: "It just seems weird that we can have storeroom sex, but that an omelet would be way too much." Love.It.

"MyFace made it so real." Sadly Starr, you're right. Nothing is official nowadays until it is on FB. Le sigh. I miss the good old days.

Hi Joey. Is snacktime for kindergarten children the same time as OLTL? I'm assuming because there is no other explanation why you are out trying to play with Cutter. Woof.

Austin Peck has been on like every damn day. And this Deanna chick. I don't know how I feel about these scenes. God...that Minuteman sign in the background is terrible. Paul Revere is probably rolling over in his grave right now.

Yep...Marty is still crazy. Word. I'm fine with her dripping in psycho sauce for the time being. I know she is trying to apologize, but she is still off her effin rocker.

I don't give two shits about Starr and James, but I swear...OLTL cannot let a couple be happy for more than 5 mintes. These two just got together and now Deanna is here to cause trouble. OLTL cannot write happiness. People can be in a happy relationship and still have drama! OLTL used to do this correctly but not so much anymore...or in years. Ugh.

"You out of control Kardashian wannabe?" REALLY?! Whoever wrote that line needs to be shot...pronto. That was dumb as hell. there are at least 99 rooms at the Minuteman since Deanna is staying in room 99. Hmmm.

Ugh...I'm so damn exhausted from Aubrey and Cutter playing each other then screwing and then scheming again. Over.It.

Soooo....Kelly and John just openly said they are using each other to have sex. I am all about honesty and being a straight shooter so good for them.

That's right, Natalie!!!!! John went to visit Marty. Eat it. Yesssssss!!!!!!!! John helped Marty get discharged!? What?! This keeps getting better. I know that he "loves" Natalie, but he will always care about Marty...fact.

Random sidenote: There is a rumor going around that the writers are changing the John/Natalie baby storyline since there has been a lot of positive feedback on John and Kelly as a couple. Hmmm.

WOW...I have never seen anyone sit in that chair at the Buch mansion. Glad Cutter is finally using it. Oh...and what a surprise: Aubs is falling for Joey. Double woof. She just said she loved Cutter. And then Cutter gives an ultimatum and Joey overhears. Joey will let this slide and he will then take two steps back into pre-k 3. He cannot get ahead in this life!!!

God...another "Access Llanview" shoutout. OOC, OLTL, OOC!

Lord have mercy! How many times is Natalie gonna walk in on John and Kelly!? This is a bit much. LOL...John's rationalizing his help in releasing Marty is almost hysterical. He is back to whispering. I love it. He hasn't had Jim Daniels in days.

I rewound this twice to make sure...yes, Starr just said to Langston: "You said you can't get done anything." What? Do ANY of these kids learn English grammar skills (and phonetic skills...Hello? "impor-ent?")!? This is bananas!!! LHS and LU obviously suck.

God Bless! I have been calling this girl Deanna but it's pronounced "Dina." How have I missed this?! Ok...and I just kinda felt sorry for this poor girl since Tess just made her feel like shit. Ugh. Dammit, show.

Nice move, Lang. Immediately start playing on your phone to try and avoid Ford. We all do that. Eh...that sucks. I've been there, done that and bought a t-shirt. I do feel for you, Langston.

"You don't make ultimatums in my house." HILAR!!!! Joey, you are such a funny kid! All children are hilarious, but I think you might be the best. Damn...I think Aubrey really meant what she just said to Joey about him being everything she ever wanted. The writers will redeem her, I'm sure.

Marty is hardly on after being gone for weeks! DAMMIT!

Thank you, John, for telling Natalie that you technically covered for her with the Marty thing. That's true! It is for the best Marty is out...for many reasons! ;)

Selfish note: I have a purse just like Langston's. Cute.

I really do like Starr's hair today. Wait...James is gonna go wash his hands to do some job hunting? Huh?

So, is Rick trying to cast Deanna in a porno? Ah...yes, he just said it. Nevermind.

Kelly Cramer, you're too cute in your green!!! I LOVE the gold leaf earrings, too!!!

Tess/Cutter round 2? Ugh.

Whannnnn!!!! Marty where are you going?!

Woo hoo there was no fake comatose Todd today!!! Thumbs up! wasn't that good. Nice to see crazy Marty, though! For sure!

Previews look a helluva lot better than today! At least we get a little Bo/Clint/Vicki action...woo hoo!!!!

Later lovelies! See y'all tomorrow!


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Say It Ain't So!!!!

Marty: "I am finally getting released from St. Anne's and these bastards fire me? REALLY?!"

Warning: This is a tangent I'm about to go on. Leave now if you need to because you find my tangents annoying.

What an evening this turned out to be! 4:55 I was asked to look at some work stuff for a SECOND OR TWO. Then I got sucked in and I looked up and it was 6:30...woof. However, I wasn't upset since the guy is beyond nice (and intelligent so I was learning...bonus) so I was happy to oblige. HOWEVER, little did I know that my world would come crashing down upon me at the bus stop when I checked my Twitter on my phone. I was expecting something ludicrous or funny to pop up from the local news from back home or, even better, something incredibly witty from Hillary Smith since she has been twittering up a storm lately. No...neither one. I look down and, low and behold, WeLoveSoaps tweeted that Susan Haskell is OUT at OLTL!!! WHAT?! Are you joking?! if this wasn't a sign or iPhone decided to completely go black screen and if on cue! Which we found out was due to me not syncing it since February of 2010 (it's a miracle I can operate this blog given my technological skills).

I mean...REALLY?! I mean, granted she has had little to ZERO screen time as of late. I knew that she may be on her way out since Cole went to jail. She now has zero family ties to the show, etc. Not to mention, the material they give her is so hit or miss. She is either given Emmy worthy material (which this day and age doesn't matter because the whole thing is a popularity contest with the pre-nom stuff) or she is never on or just propping. UGH. But, I thought there for a minute that despite Cole being gone they may keep her. Hell, they gave her that nice new house. I was like "Damn Marty, go ahead!" Selfish, Selfish Sidenote: Can we please transform Marty's house into Bo and Nora's old converted barn. Bo buying it back for her/them is totally believable and, let's face it, the garret sucks. I just hate this. So...OLTL wants to give a 4 year contract to the new Deanna character and to godforsaken NuJack....let the Fords run a muck all over the place...throw us porn directors and a bunch of gold-digging, STD-carrying new people but someone like Susan Haskell has to go!? Marty is a staple...I'm sorry, but she is. I don't care if you didn't watch OLTL in the 90's. Even if you didn't get to see the Spring Fling rape trial, I bet a lot of people (including relatively new viewers) will agree that Susan Haskell is a phenomenal actress! This is sad and egregious. There isn't much more to say. I hope they give her the proper send-off that she deserves. I'm sure she will rock doubt. Hey, at least in real life she gets to go home to Thorston Kaye? Can't be too bad.

Ok, it's 11:15 p.m. so I'm gonna post/type at the same time. Sorry, darlings!!! I heard the show was def NOT the best today. Fitting...

OMG and the Shane near-suicide promo actually made me nervous!!!!

I cannot get over how different Tess/Jess look. Those facial expressions. The writers are DYING...DYING for us to sympathize with Ford in these scenes!!! I mean, they could not shove this down our throats any more if they tried. They must think the audience all work in the porno business because they think our throats are huge. What a happy, chubby little baby that Ryder is!!!! I LOVE chubby babies (maybe because I was one) but they are too cute. Little rubber band arms are the best.

FACT: Blair is so sass and hot. She is 50!!!! Good lord! Ok...I love some John and Blair screen time. I cannot lie. So funny to think they were married at one point! Blair CANNOT escape the crazies, huh? However, at least she is telling John about her vibe/feeling. Baby steps in the right direction. for me Ted King!!!! Play the damn piano for me!!!! "I'm a dabbler." You can dabble with me all you want, Tomas!

NuJack makes me want to go all "Oedipus Rex" on myself. My eyes cannot take this shit much longer. James and Starr look like Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep compared to this ass clown. They are stealing the scenes. He is HEINOUS!!!!!! I swear he has cue cards right in front of him!

F*@k...the Minuteman. AND...a soliloquy at the Minuteman performed by Deanna or whatever the hell her name is. Nice Shakespearean touch. My ass.

There is mercy in this life...hello Bo and Clint. I may have never needed you more than I do today. That cop with Bo looks real f*@kin useful...lemme tell ya. He is standing there like a bump on a log. OF COURSE...these scenes will be 2 seconds each I'm sure. However, Deanna talking to herself will have 5 minute segments. Ugh.

These Sean and Natalie scenes are boring me. Ooooh, I like Natalie's coat. Not on me, but it looks cute on her.

UGH!!!!!!!!! I am LOVING the Bo/Clint scenes, but I looked up and they were over. "I bet you never thought you end up in a triple X movie." LURVE it.

World Famous Flan at the Buenos Dias. I have GOT to get me some of that! I LOVE flan.

NuJack is such a wonderful actor. Every scene with him is so believable. NOT. Oh...shoutout to Desi, NuJack's shirt is DEF from "Legends of the Hidden Temple." It has to be! Good call! I'm not commenting on this shit. I just think that James and Starr looked like Academy Award winners today. All you need to do is to surround yourself with an incompetent ass-clown and you look like Oscar gold.

Tomas/Dan-YELLA...those scenes are flippin' short, too. So short I really can't comment. Awe...Tomas and Dan-YELLA just had a nice convo. Damn...hey Blair. Ruined that moment.

So...John is on the sober train. Very nice. They showed the Roger Howarth wedding photo...they have to PAY him for that! That was TSJ's paycheck for this episode right there. So, some John/Natalie interaction. Wait is John going on a date with Kelly? Oh Natalie...your daddy is a mess. Whoa! are getting a bit better but then you go off about lies to John and keeping secrets. Hush right now. Oh God...she won't stop. She is gonna keep on going. Natty STOP!!!!! Natalie, if this WERE a contest...John would win. STOP it dammit! I will forget you acted this way today.

This "Access Llanview" talk is OUT OF CONTROL!!! I kinda like it though.

Deanna and Rick, ok. Is Rick some motivational speaker?! WTF.

THAT BABY IS TOO DAMN PRESH!!!! Ah! I'm in love with this kid! Awe hell...I'm fine with Jess morphing into Tess for awhile. However, she was back as Jess yesterday. NOW she is Tess AGAIN!?!? I can't keep dealing with the switcheroo. No....

Y'all...Ok, I KNOW I have beaten this horse to hell and back, but NuJack really is THAT awful! Not even being a smart-ass this time. He really is just that terrible. How are the writers/directors/producers okay with this?

Bo and Clint are like the little snippets of happiness in this day...thank you! As if Nora wouldn't be in there with Bo and ass.

Blair...Jack sucks. Deal with it. This ain't the old Jack.

Brody and Natty...I see a little bit of consoling coming our way. Yes...there are tears and a sob story present. I'm sensing a hug. YES!!! A hug...John saw it. Even better. I kinda like Brody/Natty. Sorry!

"I confess that I did not kill Eddie Ford and my brother the commissioner can go straight to hell." PERFECT!!!! Why were they not on more today?! Dammit!

Ok...I'm kinda starting to sense the Blair/Tomas chemistry and I swear it was the piano music that did it.

I LOVE this piano music at the end.

I hate Blair's little bumper. Ugh.

Ok...ummmm today kinda sucked. Here is hoping tomorrow is better.

Exhausted and going to's midnight! If I missed responding to a comment from my last post, I'll try and do it tomorrow.

Goodnight lovelies!

Monday, March 28, 2011

What Would Asa Say?

Phyllis Rose: "What would Asa say? Duckies, he'd say that Kourtney Kardashian never needs to be on OLTL ever again."

Bonjour!!! I could have posted earlier but Blogger decided to flake out on me so I had to restart my computer. Oh, and here is hoping that I can post tomorrow because I might have died from hypothermia by then! OMG. My office was cold all damn day! I just sat at my desk in my coat and pashmina while furiously rubbing my hands together. Also, it was totally sad because my outfit was cute. Woof. Here is hoping my wine warms me up. I'm posting/watching simultaneously tonight...

How ya doin'?! I don't mind this Wendy Williams thing. She is rather witty.

Eh...KK you're a bit stiff. I don't buy for one damn second she is an attorney. I'm sorry. I guess I'm sterotyping...sue me. Get it? Sue me? hehe

HELLOOOOO Rama!!!! God...I love that she is sprawled out on the couch with her shoes on!! Do they not have any manners in India? Do they sell Emily Post books there? Come on! Regardless of being a bit gauche, I adore her.

This pink on Dorian is OOC yet totally perfect at the same time!

That background at the Buch Mansion MUST go!!! Dammit to hell prop department!!!

Ooooooookay! So, I think that Nora may have seen Matthew not Clint. That is why she can't remember it. Yes, I know that Clint is the one on the tape, etc. but I think that the person she saw maybe someone else. Just my two cents.

Well...we knew it was gonna be Clint on the tape. Sidenote: Rex appears to be fitting in with the porn peeps. I kinda love the porno scenes. I do. Austin Peck is HILAR.

Ugh...the Minuteman...AGAIN! F*@k me. Well...Tess it was fun while it lasted. You gave us some spunk for a bit. R.I.P. These alters are effing crazy!!!

Just GREAT!!!! Hi Langston. Sup? I can now have a great night now that I get to see your ass. Sucky town.

These David/Dorian/Vicki scenes are making my life!!!! FABOOSH!!! This is saying a lot because my beloved B/N are on but these scenes are too funny. "How can I leave you at an altar if there is no altar to leave you at?" These three together are fabulous! "Explain David!" Vicki has had the best line delivery for a couple of weeks now. And, well, when she said anxiously "Tuc Watkins?" Well I had practically spit out my wine! She could do stand up, I swear. I'd go see all three of these fine people do comedy...HILAR! I am not enjoying this. No. OH NO KILL ME IMMEDIATELY!!!! The horrid gym!!!! Poor Christian...they have nothing else to do with him so: Let's stick him in a gym since he has good muscle tone and definition. Also, let's put him with KK since we have nothing else to do with him and really no one else for her to intereact with. Yeah...that worked. Oh didn't.

Poor Blair...she is too fab for scenes at the LPD like this. Run Blair!!!! Run! Go back to LaBoulaie in your tight outfit and just sit around and be wealthy! Go take Kelly shopping for shirts that have no graphic print or pattern on them...she needs some!

Ok, so I don't mind the Wendy Williams stuff this time. Rather enjoyable. Compared to KK it's FAB!

These Bo and Nora scenes are like 2 seconds. Woof. =(

Ok...I LOVE THESE PORN SCENES! Go with God?! REALLY??!! You know...I said in my last post that Rick was religious! I love this. Wait...was that a Ron Jeremy reference?! Lemme rewind. OMG it was. Wow...just wow.

God...if I were Brody I would ditch Jessica's ass. I would get so tired of putting up with Tess/Jess/Bess. Eff that. Exhausting.

OMG I can't even discuss the KK/Christian scenes because I hate them so damn much. What was the purpose of all this?

So behind Vicki's "Tuc Watkins?" comment the other funny thing was Rex barging into Bo and Nora's office like a bat out of hell saying "there!" Then Bo exasperated yelling "knock" and Nora yelling "what is it?" I watched that scene and the Vicki scene like 4 times. I needed a laugh!!! Oh, and we know that is no proof Clint killed Eddie. Red herring ugh.

Rama is such a mooch. Ok so what is the deal with Vimal? Are they gonna let him out? Will we ever see him again? Just curious. WAIT...are they testing some Rama/Clint chemistry?! Shut the front door...really? They were good together. I need more scenes though. I still want him to have angry sex with Aubs, though.

What was that shitty necklace Lang gave back to Ford? It looked like it was leather. Puke. Yes. I just puked on myself.

Wait...I just laughed even more when Vickers said that Brian Dennehy was playing Bo in the movie. This is so awesome...and that is a rather fitting actor to play Bo.

OMG THESE CHRISTIAN/KK SCENES ARE PAINFUL AS HELL AND MAKE ME WANT TO POUR SULFURIC ACID ALL OVER MYSELF!!! What in the hell is the point? The cop in these scenes is pitiful as hell, too.

Vicki is too fabulous and is inhuman. Really. With all the shenanigans going on in her life, she is the consummate cheerleader/matron of honor/friend, etc. She is the shit. Bottomline.

The moneyshot? Hilarious. Wait...when Vicki called Bo how did she end the phone call? I kept rewinding it and it sounds like "toot sweet." LOL. I'm only on my second glass of wine. What is going on? Is it my tv? Hmmm.

"Aubrey has a cash register wear her heart should be." Marry me, Clint Buchanan. I will be witty and snarky with you all day! We can go tit for tat. This could be fun.

Langston: "I can't wear this. Not without thinking about all the money you spent on it could be used on diapers and formula." NO need to not wear that necklace because it is FUGLY and should be sold at a garage sale for .25...if that. Langston didn't get on my nerves today. How about that? This is even a Monday, and I froze all day but it's been a good day. Langston you even did well today and didn't make me want to paper cut myself. Good job.

Lord...telling Jess that Tess married Ford could make her be Tess again. We can only hope. Yeah...I'm glad Cutter and Tess didn't get it on (despite how hot she looked. y'all know she looked like sex on a stick...most def!).

"The search rhymes with spock." I keep laughing out loud today!!! What is my problem?! Then, I had to rewind it again. What did Nora say? "District Attorney Nora Hanen..." I didn't hear Buchanan after that. Am I hearing shit today?! I couldn't understand Queen V earlier and now this. Woof.

FACT: I want Vicki to be in my wedding. Awe...I love this little tender Dorian/David goodness. Too presh.

Sweet Lord...Bo is Dorian's father-in-law and Nora is her step mother-in-law. What a thought.

Ugh...I never want to see a KK/Christian scene again as long as I live.

That's right Dorian...thank Vicki and let her be happy and sweet because she will be mad at you soon for lying to her!

Pa...Dorian does not sound right saying that but that was cute.

LOL! Rick is DYING for anyone to be a sub in his porno...lurve it!

I LOVE when Bo/Clint are in scenes together and even better when there is a dramatic ending with these two. Kiss Kiss to you both!

Here's hoping tomorrow is good! I just have one question: WHERE THE EFF IS MARTY SAYBROOKE?! And the doll?! I'm beyond frustrated at this point!!!


Saturday, March 26, 2011

Hold the Pepperoni Because It Is a Friday During Lent

Rick: "What? You think because I make porn I'm not a sensitive guy? We are holding the pepperoni on this Friday shoot because it's Lent. Yes, I'm religious."

Helloooooo and Happy Sunday, Darlings!!! I've enjoyed a lovely weekend of reading at Barnes and Noble and a bunch of window shopping despite the cold weather...BRRR! I tried to post Friday afternoon since it was probably the best episode of the week, but nighttime fun, martinis, and good company were calling my name! Anyway, I'm still lounging in pajamas and drinking coffee (yes, it's the afternoon...don't judge. I get up with the chickens during the week) and am about to post/re-watch the show. Soooo, without further adieu...

God...that hot dog costume is a walking insult! I hate it. "False advertising." That's right, Tess, I'm sure it is! Wait...she is spending Ryder's trust fund money? That shouldn't be possible unless Pennsylvania has weird laws. Ok...I'm not going to play my attorney card. This is a soap opera so I'm accepting it. Yeah...I'm not buying for one damn minute that the Ford brothers don't have money. If they are trying to sell that to us, then total fail.

Whoa! These Joey/Brody scenes look like reality tv (or how Guiding Light used to look). What is going on? Ok, y'all it totally looks like a reality show!!! I can't get over it. Annnnd did Joey go in Rex Balsom's closet to borrow that leather, collarless military jacket? I'm afraid so. Hell, he lives in your mother's backyard so I'm sure obtaining it was easy. Please. Ditch. This. Look. Immediately.

I am soooooooooo EFFING TIRED OF THE MINUTEMAN!!! Ugh! This motel is crawling with STDs, bedbugs, adultery, murder and porn...over it! It's one thing to show it every now and then but it's on every damn day...enough! I'm also totally over Cutter/Aubs sleeping or trying to sleep with everyone and each other. Have they ever said I love you to each other? Maybe so but I can't recall a time when they have. OK...I am trying to be objective as hell here, but EVERYONE should be suspicious of Cutter/Aubs' relationship. This is the strangest "brother/sister" relationship EVER. Fact! Sidenote: I want Aubrey and Nora to have a scene. They are both sassy...would be good. "And the bad news is that Rex Balsom is now suspicious." Thanks Aubrey, because I think I just peed on myself!!! HILAR!!! God knows when Rex is suspicious you need to BEWARE! He is one helluva P.I. LOL. This is great. OMG...then she just said that Joey is suspicious. This show is a comedy today, I'm sure. Cutter and Tess? He and Aubs are so effing disgusting.

I like Austin Peck's character. He is a good actor. This porn thing is kinda hilarious., I thought the porn scenes were GREAT! No, I'm not some twisted freak of nature but it's funny! Especially, when that is probably how real porn shoots are. Plus, the title is dead-on! I literally laughed out loud a few times. Ok, so the girl from the porn looks like the call girl David got for Matthew. It's not her, but they look an awful lot alike. OMG...Balsom!? This is GREAT! That name could really be a porn name...nice. What? He just called her a fatass...ugh! OMG!!! I am peeing on myself with this pizza discussion. However, I think they need to change the background music. Sooooo I wonder if they are also holding the pepperoni because it is a Friday during Lent. Nice move if so, but I'm not giving OLTL that much credit.

Dorian is so over the top in that pink and I love it! I FLOVE a Vicki/Dorian scene...these broads are FAB! OMG...that pink is out of control! Like "Steel Magnolias" out of control! Have y'all seen that? If not, a must. Ohhhh, hey Clint darling. Kiss Kiss. Nice to see you three together. Annnnnd...Robin Strasser says "bitch" like no one else. I've never heard it sound better coming out of anyone else's mouth. FABOOSH! Yet...Clint just laughs in her face. He is such a BADASS! LOL...Clint just called Bo and Nora incompetent. Vicki is headed for a breakdown. An alter will come out and play soon...I feel it, bitches! Can y'all?!

YES! Matthew is on sans hair gel! No "American Psycho" look today...thank God! Eh...and Matthew's attitude is a wet blanket. He is being a douche to David! Dammit! I'm so tired of his lip. He needs his ass kicked! Dammit that background drives me up the effing wall! Anyway, I think Matthew believes what Nora told him but I think he is doubting Bo because he saw him kiss Inez. Hmmm. Ok, so Matthew "knows" Clint didn't kill Eddie? WHAT?! HOLD THE PHONE! This is absurd. So, Matthew is JUST NOW confronting Clint? My ass. What an effing delay! Yeah...Clint and Matthew are in cahoots, I think...or something. Ugh! I'm kinda confused and keep changing my mind! we go with Nora's memory. OMG...Bo is the second most understanding, patient and caring man on the planet (Ross is first because putting up with me is a full time job. I'm a workout, for sure.) Every girl needs a guy like that. Bo is beyond fabulous...words aren't enough! God...this is like an episode of "Criminal Minds" with all the closing the eyes to try to remember. Hmmm. Oh...and this is a spoiler, but I'm kinda disturbed. Granted, spoilers are not always accurate but Clint and Bo find Nora passed out next Friday? WTF is that all about? I hope she doesn't think she is pregnant. I have no idea what it would relate to...just goin' out on a limb there. God, Bo is the shit. Whoa! Ok, so I didn't expect her to reach for the door and it be locked! Nice. I thought surely she would go in and see something but she couldn't get in. Good! So...she didn't kill Eddie (thank you God!). We know who she and Rex saw is gonna be Clint "I'm a pimp and a badass" Buchanan. However...I think that Clint thinks he is covering for Matthew but in reality (or maybe I'm just hoping) that Matthew really didn't kill Eddie and it was some random Joe. Fingers crossed!

I LOVE a good Vicki and Vickers scene! Oh Vicki/Nicki/Jean, Dorian betrayed you and you will find out soon!

That random cop who told Brody about Tess was awful.

Sweet Lord, Tess! What an outfit! I'd love to do something like that one day but it sure as hell is NOT going to be at the Minuteman. Dear God! This place is crawling with cooties!!!!!

WAIT! Who in the hell called David and what is that all about?!?! I really don't have a clue! Very nice.

Joey may have graduated to kindergarten ONLY because I think he is on to Aubs and kinda giving her the cold shoulder. Kindergarten it is!

I don't care how cute Ford is as a dad he raped Jessica, people! Dammit! These writers are trying like hell to sell adorable Ford to us. I'm not drinking this Kool-Aid!

Wait...Jessica is back?! Y'all ok how crazy is it that Jessica's face looks completely different than Tess'?! I think it's nuts! Bizarre really! Bree Williamson does such a good job with that.

Yeah...Matthew and Clint have something going on... Bo is just gonna be like "Ok Nora, you walked away from the room..." and that's it? How in the hell did she get back to the accident site? Keep going, dammit!

So Nora and Rex are gonna see Clint, I'm convinced.

If Marty effing Saybrooke doesn't come out to play soon, then I'm going to lose my damn mind! This bitch is awesome and NEVER utilized.

I'm assuming Charlie and Echo are doing the wild thing as we speak. Yucky town.

Good God...the Kourtney Kardashian thing looks dumb as hell. Her "oh snap" sounded effing terrible.

See you gorgeous readers tomorrow! Have a great Sunday!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I'll Take Twice the Nigel Please (in a British accent, of course)

Bo: "David, I'm gonna try and ensure Nigel is on the show at least once a week. Don't worry. It doesn't affect you, because you are just going back to 'Desperate Housewives' soon. Trust me, son."

Happy ALMOST Friday, Everyone!!! I'm about to do a watch and post because I still have to work-out after this...UGH! Thank God it's Thursday so I don't mind staying up late. So...there are a shit ton of teens on today but thank you sweet angels of heaven: Bo and Nora are on...and Nigel and Vickers, too. Can we please have more Nigel?! What a treat! Lemme go on and start this.

OMG this MyFace thing is terrible! What is worse...I have accidentally called Facebook "MyFace" yesterday AND today. THIS IS ABSURD! I mean, I say that and people are like WTF? Ugh...damn you, OLTL. OMG...EVERYONE is talking about it today.

Shut the f*@k up! That Deanna girl has a "Ford's Auto Repair" sticker on her computer?! Really! All the way from Ohio, huh?

This Shane thing makes me ill. I'm physically nervous with him wheezing and keeled him! Dammit!

I LOVE when John McBain is on to someone...LOVE it! Ted King exudes sex...dear God.

Yay! Nora and her bronze self are on. OMG I FLOVE chocolate covered coffee beans, seriously! Delish! Rex just got a mini redemption based on this one simple my eyes, at least.

LOL....Bo looks sooooo exasperated with David 24/7. I know David is over the top but I am welcoming his humor. Mum's the word, huh? Doubt it. hahahaha! Sure enough...he has diarrhea of the mouth! STFU...he just called Nigel "Smythe!" Has anyone ever called him by his last name before? FACT: Bo MUST have a migraine or some form of a pounding headache from David. I would and I would carry around my pocket, purse, car, etc. DAMN...Renee has stopped working on the new Buchanan backdrop obviously or just said to hell with it. Can't blame her I'm sure she is tired of it. YES...Bo, guilt Nigel into the truth. You can do it, darlin'...I have faith in you!

Sass boots, Nora!!! OMG! How effin' presh is she?! I bet HBS asked to where those because I just don't see the wardrobe department giving her those to wear. Show off your legs! Good for you! God...I cringe when I hear the word "Cherryvale." Woof. I think of Colin McIver and his creepy house. Maybe it's the choc. covered coffee beans getting to me, but I do think Rex is incredibly sincere and I do want him to reconnect with Bo. HOWEVER, I'd love some more Matthew and Bo time first. But, I'd like the Rex/Bo relationship repaired. Maybe a minority opinion but still.

I'm so tired of Nate and it's not even the first set of commercials. Hell.

OMG!!!!! How effing obvious is it that that is NOT Toad in that coma!? Of course, they aren't showing him because that means OLTL would have to pay him. So that is how they stay under budget? Hey, whatever works...

You are kidding me?! How many psychos does Blair have to fall for? This is absurd...egregious...outrageous! She JUST got over Eli and now this mess with Tomas?! How cute is Blair's purse?! Yeah...I want to jump Ted King. I can't help it. Awe....I love a good John/Blair scene.

Nate to James: "Love is making you totally dopey." My jaw just dropped because I am AGREEING with Nathaniel Salinger...shut the front door! NO SHIT, Nate! Ok...I STILL cannot wrap my mind around the fact that those boys are broke as f*@k and live in that somewhat decent apartment (hell, better than Bo and Nora's) and have furniture and dress like normal kids their age. And...they have decent pots and pans. Not to mention, I think I saw protein shake mix in the background recently...that shit is expensive! This is beyond unbelievable. Good God.

I want one of Noel's desserts. They keep staring at me. Ugh! Bacon grease and suppositories stat! NuJack is on and his acting is worse today than yesterday if that is even humanly possible. When he is talking about Toad being in a coma he is saying it like "I have basketball practice after school." Or, "Can I go spend the night at a friend's house?" NO EMOTION!!!!

These asthma scenes make me uncomfortable! I want to just jump in the tv and help him. Ah! Dan-YELLA is so much better when she is not with the Ford brothers. FACT.

I would love to see what is really written on that timeline. Hell, probably their lines. I'd do that.
Bo needs a drink. Nigel fix him one! OMG...Vickers just said Step Nora and I kinda peed on myself. HILAR. Ok, can we all agree on the fabulosity (eh...just made up the word) of Nigel Smythe? He is so choice. It is such a damn shame he is not utilized more often. *Sigh* Then there is Renee...what a waste. She and Addie Cramer are playing gin rummy in the attic I'm sure.

Annnnnnd...Yeah, Nora is obviously starting to get uncomfortable. Lying by the side of the road somewhere? My ass.

God...Mr. Buchanan came back in the same clothes he wore to the office the day before? Sadly, I've done that a time or twenty when I was in college. And...went to class like that a few times. However, I have a feeling my reason for wearing them was a bit different. Le sigh. So, it's ok aren't alone! OMG...Vickers is out of control! They are whoring out "Access Llanview" huh?! Damn they mention it every episode!

LOL...that little baby's legs flying around are too cute. Dear Nate, You don't know anything about your brothers because you are about 20 years older than them. That's why. See? Reasonable explanation for not knowing about their lives in Dayton. xx, ME (your problem solver)

Gigi...pastels are for you! Seriously! UGH! NuJack explode, implode, whatevs. Just self-destruct! God, you are AWFUL! ATROCIOUS!

Oh poor Blair. Seriously. I hope this is not some phrase I use daily like "poor Vicki." Ugh. I'm afraid I may be saying this often. Can she please have a NORMAL relationship? Hell, I'll just accept a relationship that is not dangerous. The guy can be weird for all I care but just not some maniac please. It makes Blair look like an idiot when she keeps being impetuous and jumping into these whirlwind relationships with lunatics/killers/dangerous men.

OMG...that fake Toad is too damn funny.

That's right, Blair! Listen to John McPain! No more psychos! I do love Blair and John.

Nice...the machine is placed perfectly over "Toad's" head. Dear God...could it be?! Is Tomas talking to REAL TODD?! How effing awesome would that be?! It's almost too good to be true, really. Ok...I'll stop. My blood pressure is rising.

Ok...James would be fine without Nate. OMG...that baby is adorbs!

Worst line delivery ever from NuJack to Starr: "Can you seriously think about anything but Dad?" UGH! It was like "are you sure you don't want dessert?" That is what the delivery was like. TERRIBLE!

Hell has frozen over (or maybe because it is freezing here) but Rex and Gigi are NOT getting on my nerves today and I think Gigi is being a good mom. I'm fine with the Shane scenes once Gigi and Rex got there? Wait, what? What the hell is going on?! I think I'm coming down with something...only explanation.

Ah...flashbacks to those motel scenes. Kinda makes me cringe. Has Bo's desk ever had so much shit on it before? EVER.

LOL..."I had five more glares I could have used." Love it...Bo's David's best man...again! Yes! That means Bo/Vicki/Dorian are all gonna be on Monday. Whew!

Yeah...I am totally fine with the Balsom/Morasco clan today. NOT everyday. But, today they are fine. I would much rather see Shane interact with them then those shitty teens that are trying to beat his ass over his asthma. Ugh.

Jack: "What are you doing here in the middle of a school day, young lady?" Ummmm because you bitches don't go to school!!!! DAMN! I wished I went to LHS growing up. Lord, those kids run a muck 24/7. What an establishment...and such a fine example of a top tier education! Yes, I'd like a bite of that pie, too, Dan-YELLA. Hmmm she is smart like Tea. They really kinda remind me of one another. OMG that Deanna bitch is a crazy stalker!!! What is this "Fatal Attraction!?" Hide your rabbits, everyone! She is MyFace stalking in the cafe at the bar. If you are going to do this, at least be sneaky and get into the corner of a booth. Duh!

HOLY LORD! That baby has the BEST set of cheeks ever! Whose kid is this?! FACT: James is better holding a baby than Brody who like hits the kid's head. James at least holds him correctly.

Lurve Vickers topcoat. Tres chic. Nigel's accent is so awesome. So much better than the one he has to use when he plays Neville.

What in the hell is going on?! I had to rewind...OMGosh! Bo just kissed Nora. I'll be damned. Thank you. OMG...those boots are so sass! It's amazing how much they can jazz up an outfit. Awe it comes with the "I remember something..."

YES!!! McPain for the background check! Score!

Blair: get out of this almost relationship while you still can. You will thank me.

Hell, Starr will probably hang out with Ford's kid more than poor Hope. Woof.

LOL..."They have a baby?" ha! Not yet, but knowing these writers they probably will soon, Deanna. Just wait. Nice inconspicuous place to throw away the inhaler, dumbass. Where Shane's mom clever.

Is ANYONE at that damn school?! No one is EVER around!

Yeah..."Toad" gained about 10 lbs. in the tummy. Nice, OLTL. Blair RUN for the hills! Get out of there, gorgeous!

Le sigh...I love the Buchanan mansion. Hell, I'd live there over Llanfair for the security and safety alone. I'd fear for my life on a daily basis living at Llanfair. Wait...David took his topcoat off (after having it on the whole time inside) then he leaves? Backwards.

Wow...Bo just touched Nora. Is something going on? Hmmm. comes her memory. Of course. Lord...Colin McIver all over again except I'm praying she didn't kill this one. Let's hope not. If so, then I'll know it is indeed the year 2001 and not 2011.

So...we at least get the fab four tomorrow...yay! Also, I'm pretty sure Matthew is on. Let's hope he is not a big douche. WHERE IS MARTY!? Damn Damn Damn. I'm so tired of asking!

I'm so thankful my post wasn't so cruel like yesterday's. I loathe being that terrible all the time!

See y'all tomorrow or over the weekend. Just keep checking in.

con mucho amor,

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Let Us Give Thanks

Bo: "Red, aren't you thankful you didn't have to be apart of this godforsaken episode today? It would have just been embarrassing. We are so lucky, you know that?"

I'm sure the Fab Five are at home thanking God they were not part of this episode today. Lord have mercy. I had a feeling today's episode was gonna blow when the following series of events happened:
1.) It's dreary, freezing and raining in Chicago and it's almost April.
2.) Elizabeth Taylor passed away (I know she didn't look the best in recent years, but have y'all seen "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof?" She was prime at one point). Sad since there are few icons from the Hollywood's Golden Age left.
3.) I had a lovely friend from home inform me (in a panic) that "Mad Men" may not start season 5 until Fall of 2011 or until 2012...if there is a season 5. Suckytown.
4.) I've had to deal with tax stuff at work since auditors are in town which is effed up since I: a.) went to law school to ensure I never/rarely do math; and b.) I found a husband-to-be in the investing/financial world to further ensure I don't have to deal with money, math, etc. Hmmm. Yeah...plan is not working.

Normally if I've had an awful day I'd have a good feeling and then think "God, at least I can just go home and have some wine and watch least it will be good and I can escape." Sadly, I never had that feeling come across me today probably because I knew the Fab Five weren't gonna be on. And to stay in sync with the series of previous events of the day, OLTL decided to give me a big fat middle finger today.

Ugh...Toad in the hospital.

Noooooo!!!!!!!!!! My life has been so damn good without Nate! Does anyone else think it's creepy that a 35 year old is shooting hoops at a high school. Oh, hey Destiny what's up?

I'll say this, at least Gigi is out of her black dancer like uniform she wore at Rodi's. She looks MUCH better in pastels. Gigi on spring break? When does she go to school?! Let alone teach her art class! God knows Christian ain't teachin' shit! Oh and Gigi, Starr's outfit is a prime example of CUTE things Forever 21 sells. Move away from the plaid!

Yeah...let's just add insult to injury. NuJack is on. I'd rather have someone shove 5 suppositories up my ass while someone else pours hot bacon grease all over me than watch NuJack in ANY SCENE!!!! He is HORRIBLE!!! OMG...did y'all know OLTL put him on contract?! That's right. The end is near, I swear. His acting is ATROCIOUS!!!!!!!! Ugh...I only planned on having only one glass of wine tonight, but I'm now gonna increase that. I mean...maybe I'm wayyyyyy behind on the times or just lead a sheltered life but I have never seen anyone or heard of anyone get bullied and picked on so intensely for having asthma. I mean...I'm sure there is more to it but still. The storyline sucks balls and it just pisses me off. It's days like this where I hate that I have to post because I have nothing of value to I'm sorry! Whannn. :(

Whoa! STFU! Have Blair and Gigi EVER had a scene together?! I can't think of one off hand. FACT: Blair is sex on a stick. Dear God...I think I'd do her.

Now James and Starr. If Ross brought me those flowers and then I had to ask for a vase behind the counter, then I'd tear them up.

OMG the Minuteman is raking in the dough huh?! Wait...ALSO, did y'all know this Deanna chick went from just 3 or 4 episodes to a 4 YEAR CONTRACT?! YES! This show will be "90210" before we know it...telling you! haha...there is a bellhop at the Minuteman?! That and a mini-bar huh? YAY!!! A crazy teen stalking James. I CANNOT WAIT, Y'ALL!!!!! This story is gonna be the SHIT!!! [interpret that excitement as you wish. for new readers, insert sarcasm at "that" and end with "shit"]

Tomas, what the f*@k are you doing?! You are being an idiot. Oh, hey Sean...long time no see! And...that pulling out the gun scene was dumb as rocks.

God...John and Natalie are gonna be the only bright spot in this whole episode. Come on, Natalie is NOT believable as a CSU! Y'all know it! I much prefer her at B.E. WHAT?! Natalie is gonna make sure the "B team" didn't miss anything!? LOL!!!! OLTL sure knows how to deliver jokes. Oh, and whaddya know...Kelly shows up in a GRAPHIC/PRINT shirt. Her jacket is super cute though.

Tea looks pretty in blue. Ummmm....I got nothing else to say. Again, I wish Tomas and Tea weren't related so they could do it.

Yeah...Kelly's jacket is FABU and awesome on her. Whoa! John taking up for Kelly again to Natalie. I'm STILL enjoying this. :) I will say this...if I were Natalie I'd probably beat Kelly's ass. No, I don't want this but I sure as hell just would leave the two of them alone!! NO! Oh, so Kelly is gonna be a CSU now?! This bitch is trying to be Angela Lansbury...this is NOT "Murder, She Wrote." are Gigi and Blair all of a sudden friends?! WTF? Where did this come from? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! I LOATHE BRAD!!!! He is such a little penis! I hate him. Ugh!

God...Destiny is by FAR the coolest teen on today and she is hardly saying a damn word. This is sooooo beyond effed up.

The MyFace homepages are shiteous! I think a 1st grader with basic computer skills created it.

I just realized how awful this post is because I have nothing to say because this shit is so terrible!!! Can I have yesterday back please?! PUH-LEEZE!!!! Wait...REALLY?! Am I really watching all the teens in Llanview analyze James' job application to MyFace?! NO WORDS FOR THIS HORRENDOUS SHIT THEY CALL AN EPISODE...NO WORDS!!!!! Vomit!

It's like now I'm not even intrigued with the Tomas being shot thing because the rest of the episode is sooo effing shitty.

This post is getting worse...I'm falling apart at the seams! It's in total disarray I can tell!

Oh God...a turning point?! My heart kinda tightened up when Natalie overheard John ask Kelly did! I dunno...maybe because this day is so damn effed up but my heart kinda jumped!!!

Ummmm ok it is soooo obvious something is REALLY the matter with Tomas but Tea lets him take Dan-YELLA to school?! He was sweating and panting profusely! Tea must be too sleep-deprived to notice!

I don't like Gigi and Blair together in scenes the same way I didn't like Nora and Gigi together. Let's end these quickly, shall we?

Watching James' job search is about as's as entertaining as this show today! horrendous!

I'm not commenting on the gym scenes...can't and won't and I'm about to fast forward them! *gasp!*

Clearly Natalie is on the "A Team" since she found the Euro...let's raise her salary LPD. Stat! WHAT?! "It's pretty cold in here. You might wanna zip up that jacket." REALLY?! John McBain is turning soft again...yes, he is. That was such a weird/random statement...whether he cares for Natty or not.

That Deanna bitch is creepy. She reminds me of the peeping tom from "That Darn Cat" with Haley Mills. Have y'all seen it? WAIT...this girl just ran away from home!? From where? Ohio to Llanview? WTF?

EVERYONE is babysitting Ryder!!! Lord. Such foreshadowing with Starr and James: "Promise things will never get that complicated between us?" Hell.

Snap...Natty/Kelly. I smell an argument/fight in the future.

Shane collapsing from the asthma attack kinda made me nervous/nauseous...didn't like it. Kinda upsetting.

Everyone is FINALLY starting to suspect Tomas...about damn time!!! John McBain is on to his ass!

Oh...and the Eddie Ford stuff begins tomorrow! Sadly, I think my December prediction about the killer is correct. Well, even my recent one I think will be correct but I was hoping it wouldn't be....ugh. I was praying it would be Inez but *sigh* it won't be. I just hope the writers make it good and NOT too much of a one wants the same old thing. So...whoever did the deed better have been totally justified and it better provide some great drama!

EVERYONE pray for a good episode tomorrow! Lord KNOWS we need it! I'm forgetting today happened. Right now. Woof!

Sorry my negativity is everywhere tonight!

Have a lovely night!
kiss kiss,

A Marty cameo...even ONE scene...would have made this episode soooo much better! :(

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

It's Tuesday So Charlie's an Ass Hat (or any day for that matter)

Charlie: "Yeah Echo, Vicki is too polite to say it but she found out about us and cut my balls off."
Echo: "Oh Chuckles is that true?"
Vicki: "I'm afraid so."

Hello Hello! Sorry I'm a tad late. Ross' aunt and uncle were in town so I had to go to dinner after work then I actually had to do work for awhile once I got home. Grrr. I'm going to post/watch simultaneously since I've gotten such a late start (sorry for those who don't like it when I do this...try not to do it all the time. I'll try to organize a bit tonight if I can). I pray today is good. I didn't see any previews from yesterday so I'm in for a surprise. Let's do this...

Wait y'all...timeout. I cannot for the life of me find pics from each day's episode anymore! Dammit! I'm having to be as creative as possible (at the end of a long day so my creativity is basically shit), but I'm kinda pissed with Facebook. They used to update a new pic daily...get with it OLTL fb page! You're crampin' my style!

Natalie's in another Juicy Couture suit. Hmmm. These have to be her own. Yep...Brody was sweet singing to the baby. No doubt.

Holy shit balls! Christian is on for two days in a row!!! Whoa! Oh, and yesterday when Tess ran to Cutter's car it was light out and now it is magically dark?! REALLY?!

Icky! Chuckles+Echo+Minuteman=the need for nausea mediation, chicken soup, and Powerade because I'm f*@king ill. OMG...this makeout is disgusting and made even worse by that cest pool that is the Minuteman.

Whoa...Vicki in Dorian's bedroom! Damn right, Vicki! Way to go..."Well, Dorian you let yourself into Llanfair whenever you please." Now will you please tell the rest of the mother effing town to stay out of your house!!! Please! If Bo and Nora are gonna be absent, then thank God I get a Vicki/Dorian scene. Although I hope B/N are on.

Yay! Clint is on! Hello Handsome! LOL!!! In reference to Nigel: "In his burrow, under his afghan, watching "Access Llanview'." HILAR! God...they have talked this show UP, huh?!

Dammit!!!! No Bo and Nora today...ugh!

Hmmmm Tess and Cutter. I need to see more of this. Of course, there is Ford running after her acting concerned. Wonder if he will run after Langston's plane as it takes off bound for LAX?! Hmmmm? And...I'm assuming the baby has now switched to formula and not breast milk? Inez has the formula with her at her apt. since she is keeping the baby, right? Right.

OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Nooooooooo! I'm pretty sure I could go prostitute myself in the worst part of Chicago for a month and I'd be cleaner than the Minuteman motel's doorknob. Why are people going there CONSTANTLY!!! Thank God. When Tess asked for a drink and Cutter said "over there" I almost lost it thinking there would be a damn mini-bar over there like the one John McBain had in his room. Thank God it was just cheap vodka. Oh, and that trash reptile jewelry needs to go! I kinda like Tess and Cutter. Oh damn...Cutter just said "Hurd dat." WHO ARE YOU?!

God Vickers, drop the gun. You look as threatening as the tooth fairy with that gun. Man...Vickers is on fire today with the one liners. "Mr. Vickers you are a stain on this planet." LOL...Clint's on fire, too. DAMN! And, he put the gun to his chest and told Vickers to shoot! Ross' testimonial during the episode: "Clint is so badass." I concur. He is so choice.

WHOA! Look at all those toys in the living room at Llanfair! Like Liam is really playing with the toy fire truck! He is too small...unbelievable! Ok...don't shoot, bludgeon or curse me but...I think Natalie and Brody have good chemistry and I kinda like them together. I do. :)

Hmmm these scenes at Capricorn are interesting. it's abundantly clear that Rama doesn't miss Vimal. There is no way.

Oh dear God...poor Vicki. My heart is about to break. Dorian's looks are PRICELESS. You better tell her Mayor Lord! I can't have Vicki messed with anymore...NOT having it! No. No. No. I am just not down with the Echo/Charlie love scenes. It's not the age thing by any it like bunnies all you want. I think I am just against sex at this motel. Oh, and that he is cheating on Queen V. But, I REALLY loathe the motel. Charlie reminds me of that one dumb cartoon character that's dumb compared to the Goofy or something. You know just walking around scratching his head and spouting off nonsense in a weird voice?Whoa...that didn't make sense but you see where I'm going with this. I can always just say "no talent ass clown" but I am trying to find something a bit more defined.

Yeah...Christian is like an appendix at this point...or tonsils whatever. He is useless and can be removed if needed. Never want to do it but sometimes you have to.

UGH! Clint don't talk about Bo and Nora! Oooohhhh ok so the Buch mansion background at night looks sooooo much better!!! No doubt Renee helped with this. ;)

Dammit Dorian don't lie! POOR VICKI! God, that is ALL I have said for a damn month! OMG...guilt trip. I want to cry immediately. "Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you." OMG Vicki you are not human. You are too perfect for this earth. Dear God.

Yeah...I am liking Brody and Natty together. I'm still livid with Natty's lies and everyone else defending her...BUT they are good together.

Of course, Inez will stay with Ryder. Is Nate helping with the bambino? Did Inez ever get a job? Hmmm.

Joey...your nanny obviously let you out of her sight! Get back on your tri-cycle and go home! Do you remember how to get there?!, it takes Robert Ford telling you that Aubs is a gold digger. This is such a screwed up town...

So Cutter is now Scarlett O'Hara?! He is quoting "Gone with the Wind" with all this "tomorrow is another day" crap to Tess yet he said "hurd dat" earlier. Make up your mind, punk!

Whoa...are they testing the chemistry with Christian/Rama??? Hmmm.

Come on, Joey. Please say something to Aubs....YES!!! He just asked her if she dated Ford. AND asked her about the $$$ issue.

Charlie, you are killing me. "It won't always be like this?!" WTF are you saying Chuckles Banks?! I want to drive nails up my arm. These two together are ridiculous! I mean...they rival teenagers. I have never seen Charlie kiss Vicki like that...EVER! Hell, Echo and Alex Olanov have gotten better make-out sessions than Vicki and Nora....FACT!

Oh Dorian...are you gonna continue to lie? Ugh...yes. Everyone is lying to Vicki!!! Sonofabitch!

Well...thank God for Tess taking the pic. Eff me. Finally something...

I don't buy Aubs' explanation about Ford to Joey for one f*@king minute. She is so transparent. I want Kelly to kick her ass.

Yeah...this was a Chris/Rama chemistry test. However, I didn't see enough.

Ugh....there you are Charlie, you piece of shit! Ok...compliment: AT LEAST he went to shower before he touched Vicki and got Echo germs all over her. Vicki is too pristine for those cooties!

LOL...does Dorian have ANY mayoral duties?! She doesn't do shit all day. Except now have sex with David and have champagne and strawberries. Now...getting married. YAY...but, how are they gonna do this?! I keep asking and no one knows. Vickers is gonna have to go back to Desperate Housewives. Is he gonna be on the show but off camera a la Fish and Kyle? Or is he gonna pull some stupid stunt and leave town and then Dorian is left despondent?! Hmmm.

Free Marty!!! Free Marty!!! Free Marty!!! Thought...does she have anyone getting her mail or newspapers from her house? Cole is not there. Who is watching her home? Hmmm.

Eh...the previews look a bit dismal. Woof. I have a feeling the fab five are absent.

See y'all late tomorrow night!!! Have a lovely one!

kiss kiss,

Monday, March 21, 2011

David Reunited With His Golden Goose

Dorian: "Ah! Can we go in the kitchen and have sex and play around with oven mitts?! That was so fun last time. "

Bonjour!!!!! OMG...hope y'all had a great day because mine was the epitome of an effing Monday! I KNEW it was going to be a bad day when regal, attractive, snooty woman who always reads the "Wall Street Journal" (every single morning and she refuses to talk or acknowledge anyone...I will MAKE her talk to me soon and befriend her now because of this attitude) moved away from me today when I answered my phone at the bus stop! She was so annoyed when I said "hello" and I think I got an eye roll. Woof! Gosh and my phone was on silent and I didn't even talk loud. Anyway, I knew at that moment today would suck. Thankfully today's show was good. Again, nothing earth shattering but enjoyable...nothing wrong with that! that Christian?! He looks hairier! Wow. And, his purpose on the show is??? *crickets* My thoughts exactly. When does he teach?! Hmmm.

Tess' serpent matching necklace and earrings are heinous and tacky and the wardrobe department can send that shit back to Claire's Boutique right now (wait is that place still open?). REALLY KELLY?! "Jessica's my best friend." Where have you been during all this? Oh, you've been screwing John McBain and have not given Jessica one damn thought. You know what you should maybe start thinking about Kelly...STDs. I love how no one cares that Tess is loose. I mean, people care...but they don't. I mean, her loved ones (besides Clint and Vicky) do not appear to be concerned in the least. Tess is sex on a stick!!!! My just oozes out of her! Hmmmm...I wonder how this Cutter/Tess thing will go.

The writers are DYING for Ford to be redeemed! It's so effing obvious. I'm here to remind everyone...he raped Jessica in case you peeps forgot. It's apparent they want to keep him and they are using Tess and a toddler to try and humanize him. Lord have mercy. LOL Inez is keeping Ryder? God help us.

Nigel! Nigel! Nigel!!! God what a treat to see this man!

I adore Rama...and that luggage, heavens! Also, she can throw her bags at Aubrey all day long. WAIT....ok, so I do NOT like Aubs running shit at the Buch mansion! I don' all. Who is this bitch?! Anyway, Rama owns Aubs and I LOVE it. atrocious is that "Aubrey Wentworth" pic out of the yearbook. It is so damn awful looking, I'm sorry. Y'all know it! Admit it.

Oooh...courtroom full of vets! And Rex...ugh. I tell you what he is getting on my nerves. And, I had become quite fond of him. Despite the fact that I hate he hangs out more with Bo than Matthew but Rex is good in my eyes. of late, ummm not so much. He peaked with me when he saved Nora and was sooooo considerate and awesome and then he kinda started grating on my last nerve after that. He is like a leech...has to grab on to Bo and tag along and he just says stupid things as of late. LOL...St. Blazes?! What a hellhole! ha. Clint is right about everything...sonofabitch! Nothing can be pinned on him right now. He has an answer for everything!!!! God Bo, I love you almost more than I love Ross but you have GOT to stop trying to arrest Clint at every damn waking moment! Please wait until you have something solid. Please! You're my smarter than this!

Has Nora spoken a word today? Wait...she said "motive" and "justified" so that's good enough. I'm fine with just watching her facial expressions the whole show every now and then. Between her and Vicki's reactions, I'm entertained and they don't even have to talk because they are that awesome!

FACT: They dressed Nora better when she lived AT the Buchanan Mansion. She had more casual and cute clothes she got to bounce around in. I'm tired of this gray suit with different tops underneath. She is too pretty for this...please fix this. I know she's in court but I'm making a point. Hell, while I'm at it, Vicki wears the same clothes a lot, too. Let's fix this, too. I'll keep many military-like leather and denim jackets does Rex have? God, how many plaid shirts does Gigi own. Ok...I'm stopping.

LOL...Clint placed incriminating evidence at the Carriage House?! ha! Rex is a private eye and can't find the shit at his own house. He is THE BEST in town, right?! My ass. And Rex punched Clint...nice. God, after the punch was thrown and Clint left the only people who were making sense were Nora and Vicki. Rex and Bo were running a muck!!!

Joey, let Rama and Aubrey talk big girl talk and you go and ride (or attempt to ride) your tricycle out in that fake scenery. Grown-ups can't have grown-up talk when the kiddies are around. Silly rabbit...

Lord...David and Dorian. They are so....I can't put my finger on it. They are definitely entertaining but I still find them weird together. Do y'all? I have to say (I've been saying this for awhile) Robin Strasser is looking effing awesome (like a Golden Goose) and surrounded by two hot men...GOOD FOR HER! haha...David called Cutter a louse. This show uses that word a lot. Odd. Anyway...good for Dorian!!! She is a hot-blooded woman and David left her so she can do as she damn well pleases...amen! Dorian wears a lot of rings on her fingers...hmmm. Ok...and David and Dorian in bed together were hilarious/adorable/strange/awkward/wonderful. I just can't quite describe them. Now Dorian is pretending to shoot a machine words.

The evil bitch in me wants Bo to be like "Fine Rex, testify since you owe me." However, my soft side wins...ugh. I want them to still have a good relationship...dammit.

OMG Poor Christian. He serves ZERO purpose!!!! Why is he on the show!? He is a good actor and attractive but it's insulting to bring him on once every two weeks for this shit. He is such a prop for other storylines!

Capricorn looks like a shitty club. The background music is effing painful. Ugh.

God...when Kelly calls Joey even I get annoyed. She bothers him constantly.

Dorian's nightgown and robe = AWESOME TOWN!

FACT: David Vickers Buchanan looks tres awkward holding a shotgun!!! Dear God! Not believable AT ALL!

Where is Marty?! DAMMIT TO HELL!!!! Where is Matthew?! Dammit!

No previews...double boo! I'm so ready for this Eddie Ford killer stuff to start...ah!

Hmmm...wonder if Christian will be on again this week? Even bigger question...will he be at Capricorn or at LU?! OMG the anticipation is killing me!!!

See you tomorrow darlings!

kiss kiss,

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Sleeping Problems?

Tea: "OMG, Todd you have to wake up and help me. This storyline is so bad and everyone hates it. What do I do?"

Posting on Saturday as promised! I got out of bed at 1:00. UGH! Dinner with friends turned into going to a piano bar then meeting this FABULOUS gay couple (one's a decorator and the other manages the Ralph Lauren!) from Louisiana. FUN time! Needless to say, I'm struggling today. So, I hope this post makes sense. My brain is a bit addled. Oh, and I really don't have entirely too much to blab about today...sorry. I mean, this episode was good because it had the fab five on and everything but really, not a whole lot least to me. Who knows maybe some of you thought this episode was life changing but I did not. But it was good.

I pose the question "sleeping problems?" in my title because....This Toad storyline is putting my ass to sleep!!!!!!! Instantly! My God, who needs Ambien or Vicodin or any other drug to help them sleep?! A cheaper way is to tune into OLTL this week and only watch these scenes. My hypothesis is that within minutes your sleep problems will be eradicated. can keep all the money you saved from not buying all those expensive ass pills! If you're not convinced this storyline solved your sleep issues, then I'll start saying nice things about's that? UGH!!!!! I just can't and won't elaborate on it. I'm just that speechless...well, actually just bored. Oh, and I still hate nu-Jack...he SUCKS! Actually, during all the hospital scenes I found myself only staring at little Sam. His facial expressions were hilarious. So, that was the one ray of sunshine out of all this. Otherwise, these scenes are about as cool Joey's new tricycle or blocks or whatever else the hell toddlers get. Translation: these scenes are a failure just like Joey since he wouldn't know how to ride the tricycle or play with blocks. You get my point. Ugh. I'm done talking about this shit.

That little Sam is presh. My eyes are glued to him. His acting isn't even that great but I don't care. Oh...and must be his favorite son, little Sam. I am convinced that the majority of the population doesn't really like douches and nu-Jack is a Sam is indeed Todd's favorite. I mean what normal person says "I LOVE douches." No one. So why would Todd think that about nu-Jack? Exactly.

This judge is TERRIBLE!!! OMG...this man is supposedly an elected official?! The voters in Llanview are all in the Kool-aid...obviously. He let this hearing get off subject like 1,000 times!!! I've never seen this in my life. Dear God. Little Sam would be better as the judge at this rate...

Tess is one hell of an actress in the courtroom huh?! Gosh, if Ford weren't a dumbass then there would be no question who the judge would side with. This bitch is just so clever. I'm amazed by it, really. Ah....she said Nikki Smith! I wonder if that's a hint...hmmm. Doubt it.

If Vicki doesn't have a nervous breakdown then I'm gonna be shocked. How could she not?! One thing after the other is happening to this little chic blonde and she can't do shit about it...UGH! Now she has to get a snippet about Echo and Charlie from Tess of all people while at her grandchild's custody hearing?! This is so wrong on so many levels.

OMGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!! I LOATHE Ford and Jessica's attorney!!!! He is like an enema...ugh. Painful!

Oh...and come on people, admit it. How good do Clint and Vicki look sitting next to each other?! You know it's true!!! And if you don't think so then I'm gonna do my damnedest to brainwash you!!!! Everyone drink this batch of Kool-Aid please. ;) Sugar-free of course...low carb remember? Oh, except for last night I had to break free but you get my point...

"Every word that comes out of this woman's mouth is a lie." OMGosh if Nora doesn't leave the D.A.'s office soon I think I might die. She was more animated during this custody hearing than she ever was as the D.A....and this wasn't even a murder trial! God...change this NOW writers. Everyone's life would be improved. How is she representing Clint? I couldn't stomach it.

I've read the spoilers so I know this Dorian/Cutter thing doesn't go too far...thank you God!!! Justice is served! I will say...I kinda did get a kick of Dorian and Cutter doing all that shit to David's picture. They were fun together. Lust into dust...HILAR. Dorian is looking absolutely GORG....stunning! y'all think Tomas and Cutter look alike kinda?? I do.

WAIT....OMG, so I watched the show yesterday then Obama interrupted it so I watched the Soapnet version. The David/Dorian kitchen love scene...ha! GREAT! Awe...and Vicki on the witness stand?! Poor baby...somebody hold her!!! Preferably NOT Charlie! Slapdick...ugh. This woman is breaking my heart!

Rex called Clint a "sumbitch" instead of "sonofabitch." Is he from Louisiana and I don't know it? Where is this sumbitch from? Hmmm? LOL..."I got a banana and a mango I'm ready now, Pa." HILAR. Bo's facial expressions are like "f*@k me, I'm surrounded by idiots on this island."

Nooooo!!!! Bo changed his shirt! Dammit! Yes, I know it was driving me crazy on Thursday but at this rate...keep it on. I wanted him to explain how he got the lipstick on it. That could have been hilarious. Awesome writers...real awesome. Now, I'm sure he won't even tell Nora about the Alex kissing!!! how can Bo arrest Clint? Where is the proof? I know he ends up NOT being able to do it or changes his mind or something because David Vickers Buchanan pulls a shotgun on his ass Monday. Hmmm.

I'm soooooo ready for next week because this Eddie Ford thing starts to come to a close. Oh...and there is a porno shoot involved? Yeah...weird huh? This will probably be hilarious.

Oh, and Matthew is on next week...fist pump. However, no Marty?! I hope she is. I need her craziness back...STAT! With the disheveled doll from St. Anne's in tow if possible...

Sorry I didn't discuss the hospital scenes in great detail, but I just did NOT enjoy them at all. A lobotomy is more appealing than that me, at least.

My brain can't function much more so I'm signing off. See you kiddies Monday evening!