Sunday, July 31, 2011

Rick Powers Productions Wants YOU!

Tea: "Rick, you assured me that I would be the one to star in your next movie! Plus, you knew I wanted Nate! How could you?!"

Good afternoon on this gorgeous Sunday we are having in Chicago! Hope y'all are having a lovely one. I am JUST now sitting down to watch Friday's show so this should be interesting. I know I have some comments to get to and I'll do that by the latest tomorrow afternoon. Okie dokie...

Friday, July 29th--Rick's Thankful Praise for Video Pirates Swiping "Vickerman."

1. Lawd...we are going to have to watch the beginning of this porn foolishness again. Of course, Dorian is poised as ever.
2. I'm sorry...despite the absurdity of this porn mess I cannot help but laugh when I hear the music and when NQS says "I heard you were failing sex ed." I just can't help it. Oh no...then he just said "Lucky for you I aced the class." PEEING!!! These lines are so damn horrible that they are funny. Toad's face is HILAR during all this. He is LURVING every damn minute.
3. Ugh...between Rex and Brody I don't know who has gone off the deep-end more at this point. Tough call.
4. McBain's hair shorter this episode? Maybe?
5. God...that agent surfaced again? What is his name...Baxter? Baker?
6. Oh sweet I REALLY having to watch Christian make an ice cream sundae (in the dark, no less) and then watch Shawn saunter in (in one of the ugliest shirts I've ever seen) to shoot the shit?! I mean...the point of these scenes will be what? Exactly.
7. I love how Dorian is trying to quell the problem. Ever the classy head bitch in charge...I love it.
8. THIS DIALOGUE!!!! NQS: "My diploma is so big...because I double majored." EWWWWW! I am having difficulty with some of this language. Hmmm looks like they aren't showing Dayt-en (or paying her) this episode. Pretty sure she is gone for good. Praise Jesus. One newbie down...50 to go.
9. Oh.Em.Gee. Now the effing piggies in blankets (on HUGE skewers...odd) went through Rama's "belly?!" I would laugh at this if we had maybe more time with the show but I am really not interested.
10. SNAP...Dan-YELLA just slapped the SHIT out of NQS. That wasn't fake either...word. Good for her. Don't take this lying down. Kick him in the balls while you're at it!
11. Thanks Tomas for reminding me the agent's name is Baker. P.S. you look great in your tux.
12. McBain's suit fits RH beautifully. Of course it does. Of course.
13. I'll be damned! A Renee reference and then David said showing this porn at her hotel is like "returning to her roots." I think I just peed on myself. Oh, Madame Renee. Miss her...
14. Aaaaaand now I'm having to watch Christian make hot dogs. This bastard can do it ALL! I mean...artist, teacher, boxer, manicurist, bartender, chef, and he has the best arms in Llanview. So talented yet so useless...
15. Rick Powers Productions...ugh, I hate that Ross is missing this. I'm gonna have to make him watch this later. Toad: "Hey stud...where you goin'?" I am praying that Toad kills NQS like now. Maybe there could be some freak accident where the chandelier falls on NQS or something? Praying. But, I don't want Renee sued in the process...
16. Okay so I'm kinda bored with this Tomas/McBain shiz. Y'all know I hate to say that since I lurve McBain...
17. Oh no you are NOT adding John McBain to the list, Agent Baker. Just no. John McBain could kill you with one whisper. Just hush it with this foolishness. WOOF on you!!
18. Aaaaand now I just had to watch Christian pour a glass of water. These.Scenes.Are.Shitty.And.So.Pointless.
19. Vimal's parents are little cutie patooties. Oh lord...Rama's water broke...hehe. What foolishness...
20. Blair still looks like sex on a stick...and she is still a ho.
21. Ugh...I'm kinda bored this episode and I need it to pick up. Maybe because my faves aren't on...dunno.
22. NQS, didn't you graduate from LHS with honors? You just told Toad it's between "me and Dani." It's "Dani and me" dipshit. You need to go into porn, because you won't be able to get a job. Ugh...he could get a job elsewhere. I'm just being spiteful...
23. Yes! Ross just joined me so he can see Rick in action. Rick is so much larger than Markko. Mercy. I if Markko would stop Rick in his tracks. Please.
24. God bless...finally Rama told the truth. Hopefully this shit is overwith now.
25. I mean...I feel bad for Dan-YELLA and all but she has got to feel like an stupid ass clown.
26. Jesus H. Christ...seriously I mean how did Kristen Alderson allow the wardrobe people to force her to wear that dress and that cheap ass looking choker?! I just can't wrap my mind around this.
27. I actually want Rex to kill NuJack right now. Don't allow him to talk, Rex! Just shoot this douchebag asap!
28. PEEING...RH just used mace like a smart woman! Impressive. Lurve it!
29. The Palace Hotel guard to the right of Rick does NOT look threatening at all. What a joke.
30. I mean...when the producers are putting together the show how do they not question putting these Christian/Shawn scenes in? I just don't understand.
31. I love Tea's dress on her. However, I ain't diggin' in her hair. That's for damn sure.
32. Oh no...make it go away!!!!!! The "Starr X'd Lovers" script! AHHHH!!!! I think I'm going to melt or die or something if I have to keep looking at that script. I totally blocked out that musical. WOOF!
33. Rex is total creepytown. Ugh. Either go back to being a spaz and get out of the Buch Mansion or just leave the damn show...
34. Aaaand Christian can fold an apron. Oh, and lovely foreshadowing from Shawn saying that real babies actually show up or some shit like that.
35. OMG...Vimal's mom is all but forcing Rama and Vimal to have sex. I love it.
36. I am not about the teen scene, but I have to say I love Dan-YELLA pushing the shit out of NQS. I need a giant cow to fall from the sky now and land on his STD-carrying!
37. Ross is peeing on himself with Rick's foolishness.
38. OMG...has anyone ever seen Hitchcock's "The Man Who Knew Too Much?" Rex is acting JUST like the guy with the gun behind the curtain. I mean...if you're gonna shoot then do it already. Mercy.
39. John McBain's apartment is quite the intersting place. Poor John can't catch a break these days.
40. NOW the show got good in the VERY last scene!!!! WORD! I need good fallout from this shiz...PLEASE!!!!!!!

Okie dokie...things to do. See y'all after while!

Love y'all and mean it!

Friday, July 29, 2011

I Heard You Were Failing Sex Ed

Dan-YELLA: "Nate you said you were circumcised! How could you do this to me?!"

Morning and's flippin' Friday! I am pressed for time (again) because Ross hogged the computer to check the stock market we have been watching CNBC. Woofy. So, I believe we get some porn action on Thursday's show? Yes? No? Let's see. Probably going to do a Marty Saybrooke-esque drive-by post this morning since I'm running uber late. Sorry...Friday's will be a full one, darlings.

Thursday, July 28th--Marty's Thoughts (she got a private screening of "Hold the Diploma" so she can discuss the show today)
1. F*@K...Blanca in the first scene. She is so obnoxious. Peeing...she just said "Dorian Cramer Lord Vickers Buchanan." LOVE.THIS. LOVE IT!
2. OMIGOD...make it go away! Starr's dress is all ate up with ATROSH! That dress looks cheap and throw that choker in there and it looks like something I wore in my elementary days in the '90's. Just.No. Aaaaaand of course James isn't going to the premiere. I'm so sick of this Baz/Starr shit. Whoa...Markko (sp?) looks 1,000 times better than when he left Llanivew.
3. Tea and Dan-YELLA are cute together. Their little banter about Tea getting her hair-did was pretty presh. They are totally believable as mother and daughter. Oh snap..."mijita?" I love this even more than "mija!" Fun fact of the day--"mijita" translates to "sweetheart." I've done my job for this morning in the new knowledge department. I'm going by "mijita" now...
4. Is anyone else peeing on themselves with RH's McBain impression...HILAR.
5. PEEING....Todd: "What are you doing in my office?" McBain: "Does there have to be a reason? I just missed you." I don't know which writer is doing all the lines for McBain but I want to buy them a drink. Thank you for these small bursts of joy you have given me this week...thank you...whoever you are.
6. Can't effing deal with Rex at the Buch Mansion. I flippin' need the Silver Fox there like right now. He doesn't look right.
7. Ah...I hate that Ross is missing Rick! Dammit to hell.
8. This movie premiere would be so much better if Pa and Step-Nora were there...whann. Wait...where is Vickster? Hmmm...oh, and I like Blanca's dress. My one compliment.
9. Dorian said she is wearing "Gammie." Clever...that is the name of the head of the OLTL wardrobe department.
10. Just perfect...NuJack. At least today is Friday so hopefully I can deal with this douche and his awkward acting skills.
11. Sonofabitch...cannot deal with Starr's necklace and dress. I mean...I am taking this very personally.
12. Dorian said "bitch" and "ass" in one scene. Le sigh. I am content at the moment.
13. That baby bump on words. No time to discuss that foolishness...
14. Damn...I can't lie I'd do Blair. I'd say she looks angelic in white, but I can't since I think she is the queen of leg-spreading. However, she does look like sex on a stick.
15. I just want to go to McBain's and hang out with this duo and drink Hounds. I can only imagine how awesome it would be. I think I'd whisper the whole time so I could fit in...
16. How is it 10 after 7?! UGH....I have to hurry. So just random snippets...
17. Blair and Tomas do look rather dashing together. Can't lie. Starr and Baz look like smashed ass...word.
18. Rex continues to piss me off.
19. Tea and Dan-YELLA look uber presh. Blanca asked Dan-YELLA about her conception? Ugh...awkward. LOL...Toad called her Blank-ah. I love it.
20. Toad doesn't recognize the earrings that "Todd" gave her. Red flag...
21. Langston's a hot commodity, Starr? REALLY? You idiot. Explode. It's not like Hope even knows who you are either. Addie will just be her mother from here on out...
22. "These weiners are getting cold." Ah...I lurve Dorian. Don't will be seeing a hot weiner in a few minutes. Don't fret.
23. LOVE that Blair's being portrayed by an Asian-American actress. Homage to old school OLTL...
24. Thank God for small favors. At least that pic of Gigi is off the mantle. That was such a middle finger to us all.
25. Aaaaand, RH remembers the earrings. Soooo is he the real Todd? I still don't flippin' know.
26. I miss Nigel and need him back at the Buch Mansion when Clint takes over again. Aaaand, Rex has a gun.
27. I'm sorry but I did pee a bit when Dan-YELLA told Nate "Someday that's gonna be you up there."
28. I love that Harrison Ford is playing Bo Buchanan. OMG...Mel Gibson as Clint. This is so silly but I love it.
29. PEEING!!!! I hate NQS and Co. but I am laughing at this porn stuff. The music is spot on. When he walked in and said "I heard you were failing sex ed." words. I was DYING! This is BEYOND awkward!!! BEYOND!

Ah...must run quickly! My stylist is here. Ciao bellas!

Love y'all and mean it,

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Clint and His PJs Warm My Heart

Clint: "Yeah, I mean I look good in suits, blazers and dress shirts but Mary-Ella likes me in my pjs so I'm gonna just wear those. I like to keep her happy."

Evening! I'm praying our power doesn't go out since it is about to storm...woof. I know I still have some comments to respond it tomorrow at some point if it kills me. I have just had a busy evening so haven't had time to do it. If I can't blog about Thursday's episode this evening then I'll do it in the morning. Word.

Wednesday, July 27th--Clint's Sex Hair Is Blogging For Me

1. Aaaaaaand Dorian looks 1,000 shades of fierce in all that white. No words for this fabulousness really.
2. So, Rama got a job at Roxy's? I mean...WTF? Surely she is not doing way that bitch got a license. Well, maybe Roxy just doesn't give a shit if Rama is licensed or not? I'll go with that latter. The point of Christian Vega being at Roxy's is.....exactly.
3. YAY!!!!! THANK YOU GOD! I mean...I have NEEDED to see Clint. Those pajamas...scrumptious. I am in such a good mood. Now I just need for there to be no location scenes with the teens...
4. Aaaaand we get the trifecta today...VICKSTER! By the way, she looks fabu in the pink and white. Just presh and perf for summer. Vicki: "I went to your room this morning and you were already gone?" Ugh...that little muskrat was doing Officer Lovett right down the hall from McBain. Word, V.
5. McBain is gonna get a DNA test done for RH? I will ONLY trust the results if Natalie "I should be the star of 'CSI'" Banks conducts the exam. I will not settle.
6. Okay so I have to praise the damn wardrobe department. Tea looks GORG! Her past few dresses have been so awesome. Lurve it. She is sex on a stick.
7. Ugh...I can only get Bo and Nora in the effing opening credits and that is it. Thank God they return Monday. Jesus H. Christ...I'm about to lose it without those two.
8. Man....I mean I just REALLY don't give a shit about Rama and Christian. This is sad since Christian is the most important character on the show. I'm dying to know if he has started looking for a new teaching assistant...
9. Vimal's parents are huge David Vickers fans...mercy. Brody is reeking with crazy. The smell is making its way into my house. In case you're wondering, it smells like Old Spice and baby powder...
10. Thank God V is interrogating Natalie. I need V to not say anything that will make me want to pull my hair out. She sometimes does that when talking to her girls...JUST sometimes. I refuse to talk bad about V.
11. FAIL!!!!! These Clint scenes are about 2 damn seconds. He has been gone for weeks and THIS is what I get?! Thanks for the "f*@k you" writers...
12. I mean...I could discuss how fabulous Dorian looks for days. Now she is spouting off French...loves it. NO! Dorian do NOT pick that lavender dress! Of all the damn dresses you are going to pick that shit?! Please try it on and not like it...begging!!!
13. I'm here to remind you that Blair is a terrible mother and likes to spread her legs...a lot.
14. Toad is telling Tea the truth? I honestly don't know. He seems sincere...yes?
15. McBain and RH have an excellent relationship and need to date. Oh, and I'm anxiously awaiting John's pie to come out of the oven. I'm Hmmm. No...too traditional. I'll have to just wait and see.
16. This whole thing with Rama and Christian and Vimal's mom arriving is just horseshit and I don't have time for it. Game over...
17. Man...I hate the way Todd's house is decorated. It's an eyesore and if I saw the interior decorator I'd give them a wedgie and stomp on their big right toe.
18. I NEED Clint's pjs to have "CB" on the pocket. If I can't get it on the pjs then I need it on his robe. Oh, and Rex is a bastard (literally), but he is just totally getting on my nerves and I'm over this ass clown.
19. effing nice is it for there to be no teens on...AH!!!!!!
20. The Vicki/Natty scenes are 2 damn seconds, too. Monumental fail.
21. God...this Clint and Dorian phone convo. Hard to believe they dated exclusively...and slept they hate each other. Cray Cray. Oh, may I just say that I love Clint being a major badass on the phone to Dorian and then he just goes back to acting normal. He.Is.So.Awesome.
22. LOL...Toad's so damn horny. Hell, I don't blame him. Oh God...I'm actually genuinely interested in these Toad and Tea scenes. I hope poor Tea doesn't get hurt....whann. Oh holy lord...she just ripped his shirt off. I don't even know why I am surprised...
23. RH's face when Roxy said they have to it.
24. Peeing...Vimal: "Oh heeeey...John McBain!" I want McBain to say that he came by to invite them over for some pie...
25. I mean...Vickers trusts Roxy to make him "handsomer." I mean...let's be serious. I wouldn't trust Roxy with ANYTHING near my hair or face. God bless her, though.
26. Oh, and I would love a repeat of the "sit your ass down" comment from John to Vimal. I more time! One more time! Everyone join more time!
27. Vicki's motherly advice is good so far. Le sigh...Natty mentioned how Vicki and Clint used to be together. Memories...
28. Rex continues to be a nasty hamster to Clint...and everyone else.
29. I NEED a good Vicki/Clint scene today. Please, baby Jesus...please.
30. Damn...Tomas is quite taller than Dorian. Oh, I haven't said it in awhile but I would still do Tomas...just once though. He is just not my type...
31. RH sounds like a gila monster! I LOVE this. I wish he would just walk around Llanview making noises like that. What fun!
32. Rex, your finding ways to cope? Just go on and tell Natalie that in your spare time you like to make up shitty anagrams.
33. WORD! Clint and Vickster. Don't worry, Vickster. Clint ain't goin' to jail. I NEED his lovely ass back at the Buch Mansion where he belongs. First order of business once moved back in: Take down that f*@king pic of Gigi on the mantle and replace it with Asa's. YES!
34. Say what? Vickers is back to Dorian's already? I mean...the time and travel in Llanview is so screwy.
35. Who has McBundle at the moment since Natty AND Brody are at the hospital? I am curious as to who the sitter is...
36. Vimal's mom is presh but let's just have these new characters leave. Thanks OLTL. xx, China Lake
37. PEEING!!!!! RH IS WHISPERING LIKE MCBAIN ON THE PHONE!!!! I mean...I LURVE this! However, I must say that I think McBain would probably be like WTF if he saw RH doing that. Loves it! Made my damn night. Well, seeing Clint made my night. Short scenes and all...le sigh.

Exhausted! Will blog about Thursday's show in the morning. Night night.

Love y'all and mean it mucho!
China Lake and Clint's Sex Hair

Cocktail Hour Spilled Over Into The Evening...

Morning! Well, we had cocktail hour at work yesterday starting at 3:30. I planned to just have a drink and then go home...didn't happen. We all went out after, of course. Plus, I drank scotch...knew there would be no blogging when I took the first sip. Woof! I have been doing so well with getting up in the mornings and blogging...whann. Sooo this evening after I do errands, etc. I'll blog about yesterday and hopefully go on and discuss today's, too. See y'all this evening!


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I Was Just Baking A Pie. What's On Your Mind.

This picture explains itself. John bakes pies. Word. Now there is an apron to boot!

What it do?! Happy Hump Day! I have zero clue has to what happened on the show Tuesday. Normally, MH will let me know but she has company visiting and missed it. Regardless of who is on the show, I will happily watch anything since I have been subjected to CNBC for the last hour thanks to Ross but now he is gone so I can blog...word. I know I have a couple more comments to respond to and I'll do that from work at some point today. I will try to be as thorough as possible this morning, but it all depends on time. Ok...

Tuesday, July 26th--What Can John McBain NOT do? He Bakes For Crying Out Loud!
1. Alright, change of plans. I planned to be relatively thorough...can't. Starr/Baz kissing (FAIL) in the first scene...just no. To make things better, Ford and James are also at "the location." I does one expect me to discuss this foolishness? I can't.
2. Praise all things holy!!! Victoria Lord! Jesus, Marty, and Joseph...I NEEDED you to surface. I was hoping for a Clint appearance, too. Whannn...where is he?! :( Oh, it's ok Emily. I saw your post. I'm looking forward to him on today's episode. :) OH WOOF. Jessica is on today. Kill me. And Bree? I'll be damned. Again, Jessica has zippo business being in charge of those tots. The bitch is still dripping in crazy sauce, and she is a loose cannon on a good day. UNCLE BOBBY?! Balls! REALLY? REALLY, OLTL.
3. Wow...haven't seen Brody's apartment since they showed that clip of Brody and Natalie doing it in the bazillion flashbacks they showed of that. Hmmm...which is better? Brody or McBain's. As if that's a question...McBain's. He has a slot machine. I bet y'all think McBain's is better, too, huh? hehe. Sorry...I had to do that this morning since I'm feeling silly.
4. McBundle will no doubt be the shining star in these Natty/Brody scenes, because I have a feeling like they are going to be UBER boring. Y'all I can't get over the cuteness that is McBundle!!!
5. Ugh...I DO have to go here for a second. Soooo James and Ford get to have an in-depth conversation about his feelings for Jessica, etc. James gets to whine about Starr and their disaster of a relationship. Yet people like Vicki and Clint only had a short convo before his surgery and they really haven't been on together since....oh, I dunno...Clint almost effing died. Poor Bo and Nora only get to react to Matthew's atrosh doctors or they are having to talk to other shit characters (Mes). Echo and Dorian were at the Minuteman with silly string and what not basically playing a damn game. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SHOW?! I know it is summertime and all and the vets go on vacation...yada yada yada. But, I'm sorry. I don't give a rat's ass. When the vets ARE on, they are not given any good material and are forced to just prop others. Utterly ridiculous and I'm insulted. I'll stop. See...this is how I start running out of time in the mornings. Woof Woof Woof.
6. The thought of McBain in an apron and baking a pie from some Paula Deen recipe makes me smile. Can y'all imagine this man dressed in pastel? I literally CANNOT.
7. When y'all watch these "location" scenes what goes through your mind? I feel rage...violence...anger...embarassment. That's it...all I got.
8. Vicki, there could be someone lurking in the backyard girlfriend. Be on the lookout. Also, Vickster is having to prop the Buch twins. Over this shit like last year. I would love for Queen V to have her own story. I mean...too much to ask?
9. I need Natalie to stop sucking. I want to like her again...I do. However, between her lies, shitty forensic skills, and now boring scenes with both John and Brody...I have to say I'm having trouble jumping on the Natty train. *Sigh* Who misses the days when Marty and Natty would go at it? God knows I do. Those fights were so juicy and volatile. Tear...
10. I love that Tea is enlisting John to help Toad...a guy McBain loathes. Oh well...McBain's THE best. Tea is STILL looking fierce. God, she acts more like a badass at John's apartment than she does in her own modern house she shares with Toad. It must be the magic of McBain's mojo. Brings out the badass in her...
11. These "location" scenes are an effing trainwreck. I hate these woods. I wish some crazed Boy Scout would just come and eradicate all these atrosh characters. Or, some sicko girl scout could sell them poisoned Girl Scout cookies. Either scenario works for me.
12. Dammit to hell. That's it. Y'all I'm sorry but I am so bored. I mean...besides the fact that it is just lovely to see Victoria on the show today and the delicious fact that John McBain bakes pies...THAT.IS.IT. Y'all I'm just gonna do random snippets. I mean...let's be serious, I could be getting ready for work and watching the news instead of this foolishness. Terrible Tuesday. Woof. I'm apologizing now for this post sucking. I just have nothing to work with here.
13. I'm so glad Vickster told Jess that it's HER [Vicki's] house...shitastic or non-existent security system and all. SUH-NAP!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER Tina effing Lord reference!!!!! Now Vickster is talking about their relationship. Dear September, Please hurry up. I NEED Tina and Cord. For shits and giggles, may I also get Kevin at some point? k, thanks. xx, ME
14. Aaaaand RH continues to make a big chunk o' change without saying a f*@king word. I mean...where can I find a job like this? Description: must lurk in the shadows, not utter a word, spy on others, and make friends with cool children. I'M THERE! Sign me up, bitches.
15. I just got schooled...RH just talked in the flashback. Damn.
16. Vicki blends in with the furniture at Llanfair.
17. I used to find Natty and Brody either interesting or adorbs, but I ain't feelin' either of those today. These scenes are boring as hell.
18. Y'all I'm dying!!! Why am I so bored? Because I'm tired, maybe? I dunno...
19. Wasn't Starr supposed to be "getting gas?" WTF?
20. Oh...the third good thing about this episode is Tea looking all kinds of gorg in that dress. That is the only other thing. Sorry...forgot that one.
21. I'm pretty sure if I puked on Toad's ottomon no one would notice since it would just flippin' blend in...
22. Aaaaand, Natty and Brody will have sex. Just what I needed this morning. I wonder if we will be subjected to about 1,000 flashbacks of this like we were the last time. Good God.
23. James...YOU were Baz at this time last year. Wise up or grow some balls...something.
24. Jesus H. Christ....FASTEST sex ever!!! I mean...they hadn't even undressed all the way and then they were done? Yet, Starr, Baz, and James were still in the same quick convo...whoa.
25. This Ford and Jessica romance is nothing short of disgusting...
26. I'm not sure Hounds beer will go with the pie John is baking...

Ok so let's all pray that Wednesday is better. I can't do this again tomorrow morning. Lordy.

Have to run! Must go get fluffed and puffed for work. See y'all after while!

Love y'all and meaning it mucho...
China Lake

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I'm Bringing My "New Kids on the Block" Sleeping Bag to McBain's

McBain: "Natty, I'd love for you to come home with me, but I'm actually living with another man. I've been waiting for the right time to tell when we were playing darts or something. But, I guess now is good a time as ever."

Ok so I promise to God I'm going to respond to comments from work. Yesterday was so time to watch the show. Thank y'all for being patient. So...I'm attempting to watch/blog this morning. Ok, I have to hurry so this will be random comments that come to mind...

Monday, July 25th--John McBain's...The New Minuteman Motel?
1. How can I have faith that today's episode will be decent when that little gremlin NQS is in the first scene...shirtless?! I'd rather be locked in a room with crazy Brody than this shit. Dan-YELLA's outfit is adorbs on her.
2. I've obviously done something wrong in the past few weeks...talked about too many people, cursed too much, something. Only explanation for why I have to see these "location" scenes with the teens. Don't even get me started on Starr saying she had to stop and get gas. I'm so insulted by that...
3. Hell, Dorian lurking in the bushes will probably be the best part about today's show.
4. I love that there is a "Hounds" beer box at the docks. That shit is everywhere. PLEASE let this RH/McBain action be good. I need it.
5. Oh Jesus Christ...that's it. I am throwing myself in front of the train today on the way to work since I just can't take it anymore. I mean...Mes' ass has to be all up on my screen this morning?! WHAT.HAVE.I.DONE? Ugh! I mean...I don't have Bo/Nora/Clint on to help balance out this terribleness. I will not discuss these scenes any further for sake of my sanity (and life...literally), but I will say that I think Vivian is gorgeous and a fabu actress. Total shame she has to be in shitastic scenes with Mes. Mes is just a big rash. Whore.
6. Ok, I'm sorry but y'all can't expect me to write about these location scenes. Well, actually y'all can expect me to write about them but I'm sorry...gonna have to let y'all down. I feel like it is a Disney Channel documentary (if they did docs).
7. The CIA recruited Tomas after Julliard? Did I just hear that correctly? I mean...whatevs at this point. Y'all just absorb what Tomas said however you wish...
8. LOL....Dorian to Baker: "My niece's son was kidnapped. As was I." Please throw in that you were saved by Spiderman and that there was a dead body at your house the other day...found by the pool no doubt. Oh, and homeless man with a scar has been hanging out at my house. Lord...
9. OOOOOOOOKAY. Let's all just take a minute to go over something. Soooo....the sign at the docks says "No Freight Between 12 & 1 Or After 5 PM." LOL. I am interpreting this freight there during lunch hours (12-1). Then you can't have freight there anytime after 5 p.m.....all the way until when? There is no time given so I just circled back to the next available time. 1 p.m.? So...the only time you can have freight is between 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. If this is true then Llanview has the shittiest dock in the country. Jesus, Marty, and Joseph. A 4 hour window for freight?! I mean...people are probably frantic during that 4 hour window! I can only imagine the chaos!
10. McBain's got moves, yo.
11. I just realized it is almost 7. I'm taking too damn long and need to stop analyzing the sign at the docks and shit like that. Get with it, ME.
12. Baz: "I don't know anything about him [Tomas] except that he has a horrible taste in music." I mean...these are the kinda lines I'm having to hear. REALLY, OLTL? REALLY? I have said one thousand times and I'll say it again: I HATE summertime on soap operas. I mean...I need the fab four to effing come back from vacation and rescue us all. The RH stuff is picking up and that's good but this teen shit is starting to mentally get to me. WOOF!!!
13. Times...I love this Spiriva commercial with the elephant. Growing up I always wanted a pet elephant so I love this.
14. During these Mes scenes I keep praying a giant cow or some other large animal will just fall from the sky and land on her. Oh, and I read the spoilers that say Bo and Nora find out about Mes' pregnancy...KILL ME!!!! As if those poor babies need to hear that.
15. Well, I keep lookin' at the damn sign during these RH/McBain scenes so I can't concentrate...hell!
16. Ok so I'm feeling all sorts of bad for pretty little Tea. I want her to just kick everybody's ass after this is all said and done.
17. Aaaand, there is now someone shooting at McBain and Co. Times the hell out....WHAT is McBain shooting at?! He is just aimlessly throwing the gun around and pulling the trigger!!! HAHA!
18. You damn skippy that ain't the Llanview Police Dept., RH!!! It's John effing McBain's crib! The man has a slot machine. Whether you are into men or not, you WILL fall in love with him because you can't help it. He is THAT good.
19. Baz, just said Starr is "a mother." FICTION, bitches. What a joke.
20. I hate that Ross is missing Rick. I think he'd enjoy all this porn talk. Would y'all purchase NQS' film debut? I can honestly say I wouldn't buy it, but I would co-star with him in order to have Mes removed from the canvas. I stand by that...
21. Sean and Vivian have been together for a loooooong time? Really, Viv? Well...maybe so but I didn't know.
22. That's it!!! It is meant to be! Baz and Starr have weird dads and they are both REALLY into snakes. When's the wedding? UGH. Egregious. I mean...same time last year she was doing the same thing with James while still with Cole. Thanks for the middle finger, writers. Bad enough we have to watch this shit, but you are making it worse by having us watch THE SAME shit a year later. WOOF.
23. Peeing...Dorian just said "duh" to Todd when he told her to let him know if another body turns up! I.Love.Dorian. Game over. Poor one wants to go to her premiere. =( OMG Baker's cards have like zippo information on them. FAIL. What shit business cards.
24. Y'all know what movie gets shown at the "Vickerman" premiere, right? This will be hysterical and awkward...
25. That praying mantis is fake. No way that's real. Not discussing that point.
26. I'm ready to hear about the Tomas/Toad connection and how they hooked up and are in cahoots, etc.
27. Ok, so I'm pretty excited about the Tea/John scenes...bring it.

Eh...the show was just okay. Praying today is better. Emily, did you say we get Clint action today?! If so, I'm BEYOND elated...y'all have no idea. WORD!

Ok...please excuse any and all errors! I'm in such a hurry this morning! I'll get on here at work!

Love y'all...mean it!
China Lake

Monday, July 25, 2011

There's A Guy Down At Rodi's That Thinks He's Bon Jovi

RH's Todd: "Sam, if we hurry we can go hear Bon Jovi at Rodi's. You may not know who he is, but he is this awesome rocker from Jersey. Spiderman loves him so you will, too."

Morning!!! HAPPY EFFING MONDAY!!! We actually accomplished a lot of wedding stuff this weekend despite having a mini flood Saturday. Ugh. I'll refrain from discussing. Sooo...that is why I'm blogging at 5:30 a.m. as opposed to yesterday. Anywho....I thought Friday (like Thursday) was uber good. Speaking of Thursday...I had ZERO comments about that blog. Was it THAT bad? It's okay if it was...that is expected. Back to Friday...I have to say I do miss Clint (B/N too but I expected their absence...but, CB needs to surface). =( However...FABU show. Todd story picking up...word! I'll make this as thorough as I can. Have to consider time this morning though. Ok, let's do this.

Friday, July 22nd--Bon Jovi Loves Llanview. How Could He Not?
1. OMG...Sam is ADORBS!!!!!! Also, Dorian's pool is shit. A mansion and that pool...crock.
2. You know, Natty, I wish John WOULD blame Brody for global warming (after they have had an intense dart game and too much Hounds...word). Brody's response would be something straight out of a horror movie since he is all crazy and shit nowadays.
3. Tea's dress is uber adorbs. That color would look awful on me but I love it.
4. I'm not commenting on the RH stuff yet until there is some damn dialogue...
5. I love that Vimal and Brody are hangin' out in Toad's office. I'd be pissed. Also, the euro vs. the dollar sign is so absurd in case y'all forgot.
6. Oh, and Dorian is lookin' all kinds of fierce. She can sport polka dot like no one else.
7. RH looks like a completely different person with his hair slicked back like that...or maybe it's just me.
8. Jesus H. Christ...that ottoman or whatever the hell you want to call it in Toad's house is such an eyesore!!!!!!! I just cannot let this go. It's like a bird just flew by and shit all over it.
9. Ah...the agent's name is Baker. I couldn't remember it for the life of me. So Tomas and Toad are in cahoots with these agents...that is about all I know at this point. If y'all know more, please tell me. Oh, and I have to say that my FAV spoiler I have read so far is: "John reveals the real Todd Manning in the beginning of August." LOL. Hello?! OF COURSE he does! I KNEW McBain would figure this shit out! Snap! Oh, and that means this story finally goes somewhere...thank you, baby Jesus.
10. I'm sorry but my heart breaks when I hear all these "I saw Marty in the lab" references. WHANNNN! I just need to see Marty break that bottle against John's slot machine (or whatever the hell she broke it against) and threaten Kelly Cramer. Just one more time please! Oh, I need to see her spaz out about how John hates artichokes....good times.
11. Ok, so it's official: Brody has that crazy twinkle in his eye while talking to Vimal. Paging Dr. Levin and his team of clowns...
12. Snap...the Llanview docks have a telephone booth. I don't know about y'all but I never see a telephone booth nowadays. Wait...times the f*@k out. I just realized what I just wrote. Llanview has docks? How come they don't show them more? And, I would love to know what the boats carry.
13. Ok I CANNOT handle Toad yelling at little Sam. I'm getting all kinds of defensive here. Just no!!! Hello look like you are ready to go to an LSU football game in all that purple and gold. Mercy. But I hate her outfit, so people would def talk about her. The glasses are too much with the outfit.
14. I know I have said this and maybe I'm cold-hearted about this, but I am just NOT feeling it for Rex anymore. He's kinda bein' a little douche (in my eyes), and I'm finding it annoying. Also, SOMEONE PLEASE CHANGE THE F*@KING SONG THEY ARE PLAYING AT THE BUENOS DIAS!!!! Jesus, Marty, and Joseph! They play the same whiny ass song over and over and over. UGH.
15. Ugh...I need to kinda hurry up so I can go get dressed. My stylist is on her way to do my hair and make-up. Random comments coming...
16. McBain is ON this Todd Manning shit. I love it. He is like a badass, black suit wearing, whispering Hercule Poirot. Does everyone know who that is? Please Google if you don't. I love Agatha Christie books...word. Again, we will ALL learn at least ONE thing from this blog if it kills me.
17. Tea looks hot and I'd do her. And (I cannot believe I am saying this shit), I am actually thankful that Baz said all that smack to Tea about Toad and Tomas so she will stop being so blind and get with the program. I mean...your long lost DJ of a nephew is figuring this shit out. Get on board, Tea.
18. The Bon Jovi quote pretty much made my year...
19. I need someone to remove Baz's shirt and burn that shit now...NOW.
20. Toad's kinda slipping. Paranoia can get the best of people. I see a little, not THAT kinda crazy. Just the paranoid part. There is a little Marty sauce dribbing from Toad's chin...that's all.
21. I'm sorry but Natty being a crime-solving genius with crock of shit and just not believable. Let's be serious. I laugh when she discusses all this mess.
22. Dorian has been wasted this episode...hardly been on. FAIL. Ah...a Bo and Nora reference from Rex. Tear.
23. Speaking of my Bo and Nora sadness...where the EFF is Clint?! Not on all week? What the eff is that about?
24. Y'all I can't believe this but I just flat out love Tea and now the word is she is gonna leave. UGH.
25. Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A location scene with Baz and Starr?! Why oh why God do you do this to me? Say what?! Starr just said she was going to the Buenos Dias but she had to stop and get gas first? Where in the middle of the f*@king woods? This is dumb as rocks.
26. OMG...John McBain just got even better in my eyes. He gives Louie free food and let's him do as he pleases at the docks. What a guy...
27. John and Natty could no doubt crack the case in 5 minutes if they started playing darts. Gets the mind going...
28. I'm praying someone in the kitchen at the BD Cafe poisons NuJack's food. PRAYING!!!
29. I'm like all kinds of pumped about the McBain/RH stuff. Y'all have no idea. I think they will make a fabu team!
30. This location shoot with Starr and Baz marinated in shit for hours before it came onto our screen...disgusting. Awful. Atrosh we have to see this disaster.
31. I'm on Team Tea with all this foolishness. I need homegirl to wise up and not get damaged during all this mess but I'm afraid it will be too late.

Okay, I have to run!!! See y'all this evening (hopefully) or in the morning!


China Lake

Saturday, July 23, 2011

John McBain's Whispering Continues As Brody Keeps Trying To Emulate Marty (It's Working)

Brody: "Don't worry, Marty, I assure you I will tell Dr. Levin 'hello' for you when I arrive. My crazy train is leaving the station soon. Tell Patrick I said 'what's up.'"

Ah! Happy Saturday! Ok, I'm JUST sitting down to watch Thursday AND Friday's episodes! I'm going to do a full post of Thursday...THEN a full post of Friday either this evening or tomorrow. Then I'm off to do a shit-ton of wedding stuff (praying the rain holds off today). Oh, and I know I have comments from my previous post...will respond this weekend I promise.

Thursday, July 21st--There Are STILL Tickets Available For Brody's St. Ann's Bound Train an officer walked through the side door into McBain's office and left a note but McBain has to pull out his keys and unlock the front door to his office? I mean...REALLY?! Why didn't McBain just go in the side entrance since it looked like he was coming from that direction anyway? WTF?

Ugh...EXPLODE Jessica! God knows I have been a harsh critic of Natalie ever since she started lying to John about the baby (and pretty much just sucking overall), but I will pull for her over Jessica any damn day. Oh, and word on the street is that Bree Williamson is leaving early...not confirmed or anything though. I'm fine with this. still my heart. Thank you sweet baby Jesus for sending Bo Buchanan to me during this episode. I needed this. Times he and Nora spent the night in Philly? I mean...Nora was at the Buenos Dias with Mestiny the night before (on Monday's episode...night before) and THEN she was running late for a meeting and had to leave. Yet, she and Bo drove to Philly late that night to visit Matthew and now Bo is back in time for breakfast with David? Ummmm no. PEEING!!! David: "Your daughter-in-law, the mayor, she could have been killed yesterday if not for a hero." LURVE it.

I love Dorian's little housecoat...if that's what that is. Adorable. I'll refrain from the Joey/Kelly comments and sex. I feel uncomfortable since I've made all these toddler comments. There is no right way to segway into sex...sorry kids.

UGH!!!!! Effing balls! There is NOT enough time left on this show (at least while it's on tv and I'm still watching) for us to have to see the likes of Aubs, Cutter, and Rama at the Herpes Hangout. I'm sorry, but I don't give a damn about these fools. Dear God...Aubs' nightgown is 10 shades of TRASH! Ugh.

Aaaaaand Rex just entered through the open side door. I mean...seriously. I am so disturbed with McBain's entrance. Why not the side door then unlock the front when you get in? hahahahha!!!!! Rex: "How could you put my mom in jail?" John (in his best whisper): "Apparently she kidnapped the mayor." I'm sorry but I love John McBain. I cannot help my damn self!!! I'm so glad John's to-go cup is labeled "coffee."

OMG...Bo's reactions to David saying it was his job to tie up Dorian...HILAR! He is BEYOND uncomfortable with this shit. God...Dorian was Bo's mother-in-law (briefly) and now she is Bo's daughter-in-law. I also love that Nora is Dorian's step-mother-in-law. My God what a family tree! NOT bring up the gum wrapper dammit. And, Bo you chew gum all the time. This is silly.

Again, I can't discuss the Joey/Kelly sex...just feel wrong. LOL...of course Dorian had to let them know that she and David have been celebrating. OMG I just peed on myself with that picture in "The Sun" with little Sam and Echo...loves it! Also, I LOVE the flowers in Kelly's room!!!!

Ok...I mean Vimal's parents are all kinds of presh. HOWEVER, I don't give two shits. I don't want to know his family. I need some Buchanan/Cramer/Lord stuff. Sorry y'all...

I do like Jessica's tank top...just sayin'. Oh lawd...move in together? I dunno about this foolishness. God...I love that the backdoors to Llanfair are perpetually open and/or unlocked. Jesus H. Christ. This house, I swear. Ok so Natty has a point. Everyone has to put their damn lives on hold for Jessica and I'm kinda tired of it...can't lie.

Eh...not discussing Vimal and his parents. Not worth my time.

I also don't care about Aubs, Cutter, and Rama. I know I wouldn't sit on that couch...ewww. I also know that Aubs' nightie gets trashier by the segment. Le woof.

OMG Give.Me.A.F*@king.Break. Kelly: "It's just that...I've really been missing...Zane." WHAT THE F*@K!!!??? You have GOT to be joking! ABSURD!!!! Poor baby doesn't have a mother! Thank you, Jesus, he has his delicious "daddy" Kevin to look after him. and words. *shaking my damn head*

Ugh...I would LURVE for Bo and Step-Nora to go to David's premiere but I know they won't. Le sigh...this upsets me. PEEING...Harrison Ford played Bo!? Bo was so happy...presh.

Wait...McBain is mispronouncing "Origami." OMG...this bastard also figured out it is an anagram?! That quickly? Very nice. I'm sorry but I don't beleive for one minute that Rex "knew" to go after a business that Toad was after. I mean...I'm not buyin' it.

Bo's reaction to Dorian entering the BD Cafe...hilar. LOL..."everyday" Bo remembers he works for Dorian. God, I would too.

If Rama, Aubs, and Cutter ALL get jobs then I'm moving to Llanview. I swear. Any damn clown can get SOME form of employment. Jesus Christ. I mean...unreal.

Natty: "This victim thing is getting old." WORD!!!! I'm with ya sister! However, may I just say I'm so tired of the Buch twins arguing. So, I'd like this shit to end today. But...word on everything Natty is saying...all this free pass business, hiding behind Tess, blaming Natty and Brody for everything. AW HELL...REALLY OLTL?! Ford has to surface 30 minutes in?! I mean...I'd rather watch NQS and Dayt-en's porn. WOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!! STFU...did Ford just tell Natty not to act that way with kids in the house?! OMG...explode!!!!

I am so enamored with John's whispering. I love it. Aaaaaaand OF COURSE Brody finds the damn note from Vimal. All aboard the crazy train...choo! choo! when Brody goes crazy I wonder if he is gonna kill Vimal? Hmmm. Natty got to the LPD quick, yo.

Again, I can't discuss the Joey/Kelly fornicating business. I have rules... there are at least 106 rooms at the Herpes Hangout. Word. I thought the count was 104.

I feel like I'm in some form of hell watching this Jess/Ford shit. Not full blown hell because there are worst scenes, but this is pretty damn bad.

Ugh...Bo wasn't in that segment...FAIL.

REALLY?! Jessica: "Mommy's been a bit of a flake today." JUST today, Jessica? I mean...get a f*@kin' clue, ho. Jessica should not be allowed to do whatevs whenevs with those kids. I'm sorry.

Bo's reactions are priceless. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bo, do NOT choose Rex. David 100% right! Choose your real son dammit!!!! NOT Rex!! Woof!!!

Aubs: "Rama's right. There is nothing in here I'm qualified to do." I mean...why don't you go work the corner and give bjs. Be a call girl. Seriously. There are things you could do if you are that desperate.

WHO GIVES A FLYING F*@K IF RAMA IS PREGS OR NOT?! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph I'm tired of this crap.

Brody is a dripping mess. There is crazy oozing into my house.

McBain KNOWS the note is missing. He is THAT good. I love him.

Oh snap...Brody cornering Vimal. I'm kinda nervous for Vimal....can't lie. Aubs still has her wedding ring on (so it appears that way)! SELL THAT SHIT, girl! That is money!!! Cha ching! Weren't y'all scammers at one point? You should be a little smarter!

I have no words for Joey making references to kiddie food.

Bo Buchanan, I mean...I love you more than life but COME ON!!!! Not taking sides? PUH-LEEZE!!!! Choose your damn son over Rex!!! I'm ordering you, too. Sonofabitch. I can't deal with this.

There are soooo many coat racks in the BD cafe. Mercy.

Ugh on this Jess/Ford shit. Just boo.

SNAP...your damn straight Brody moved that note, John!!!! You.Are.So.Smart! ;) I love it.

Oh...ummm I have to share this goodness: TINA AND CORD ARE RETURNING!!!!! AH!!!!! Come on September!!!

Okie to do some stuff and will blog about Friday this evening or tomorrow.

Much love,
China Lake

Thursday, July 21, 2011

All Hail Head Bitch in Charge, Victoria. Oh, and Afterwards There Will Be a Dart Party in McBain's Office. Hounds and Jim Daniels Provided.

McBain: "So you mean to tell me that you and Vicki were playing darts and Natalie walked in and then you asked her to join you in play? She said yes? Unbelievable. I had planned to use my dart board as a lure to get Natty back. You ruined that. Now I must kill you."

Top o' the mornin' to ya! Okie dokie so I'm trying to catch up here. Work, wedding, heatwave, etc. have been keeping me busy. Sooo....I'm about to do a drive-by of Tuesday. *GASP* Yes, the show was EXCELLENT on Tuesday. Don't worry...I'll try and hit the high points. Then, I'm doing a full post of Wednesday's show so I'll be all caught up. Hopefully I won't disappoint y'all too much.

Tuesday, July 19th--Vicki's The Head Bitch In Charge Of This Episode...Even If The Two Todds Speak To Each Other For The First Time! Vicki Rules.

High Points
Good God! ALL HAIL Queen Victoria! I LURVE her when she is totally the head bitch in charge. Just when she can't get any cooler, she slaps Vickers. I mean...this bitch can't get any cooler. She is Queen of Llanview for a reason, and she rules soap operas. Game over. Oh, and Vicki looks uber out of place at the LPD...FYI.

As if the Vicki goodness wasn't enough, we get Echo and Dorian. Kim Zimmer is fabulous and so entertaining. Oh, and Robin Strasser can entertain me thoroughly...even with tape over her mouth! These two are golden. Echo drunk is hilar. Times...did Eddie Ford teach her how to tie someone up? Felt like it was deja vu. And, how is Dorian breathing!?!? DAYUM. Bonus: Little Sam was indeed a superhero. Lurves it.

It took what feels like a f*@king eternity but the two Todds finally met and *gasp* had dialogue?! With one another?! This is a high point because it took so effing long. Both actors are fabu and I'm praying they deliver with this storyline. All limbs crossed! Praying!

John and Natty weren't as boring as the day before. That's it...I got nothin' else to say. I'm still hoping he asks her to play darts. Again, instant party. Oh, or his hair can talk...please.

Tea's boobs in her dress.

Just looking at Tomas...

Oh...little Sam. No explanation needed.

Low Points

Blair continues to be written horribly. I mean...granted Kelly NEVER mentions Zane or ever sees him (that may be one of the excuses she uses when she leaves town with Joey soon...she wants to be with Zane), but Blair is pretty effing terrible okay. I mean...I can't even really elaborate on these scenes further. She is just so flippin' dumb. She also needs to find a brain to think with and not her coo-nacha. Ugh.

NQS, Dayt-en, and Dan-YELLA scenes. Why oh why must they be on? And, why did Dan-YELLA have to say Mes' name multiple times? Kill me.

Bruno Mars and Starr. FAIL! Egregious they are gonna try and hook those two up. Maybe they can both get electrocuted handling his speakers? I'm kidding...sort of.

NuJack...he needs to explode right now.

Hopeful Points

Could today have been Dayt-en's last day?!?! Also, in retrospect, the point of her being on this show was?????? Exactly.

This Todd face-off has shit-tons of potential.

Wednesday, July 20th--Vicki's Regal Ass Continues To Rule the Roost

Snap! Is Vickers gonna read that shit out loud to Vickster?

Good God...if anyone is gonna figure out this shit out about Todd it's most def the Man in Black. Word.

This whole Sam/Dorian/Echo thing is hilar.

Blair: "Because I'm a mother and I have eyes in the back of my head." EXPLODE! If anything the virus you are infected with called "stupidity" should have killed you by now...idiot.

I refuse to disucss Starr and Bruno since they have been marinating in shit for weeks and they are too smelly to talk about...

The high point of this party at Toad's is that I'd do Tea...that is all.

Why, I do declare! Miz Kelly Cramer! Mother of Zane! AHHHH!!!!!! I LURVE tulips like nobody's of my top three fav flowers. Lurve she has them at the desk. I've said it once and I'll say it again....Joey/Kelz chemistry is non-existent.

Wait....who is this guy again? This top secret agent just surfaced at Toad Manning's? WTF. Uber confused.

OMG...Dorian and Sam are just cuteness overloads. Times...AS IF this silly string foolishness is for real!!!! I mean....I am so sure THAT shit is holding Echo back!? My ass.

Hilar....Vicki telling Natty about little Sam being missing was comical.

McBain and Sam's cuteness knows no bounds! Seriously! They are like little friends and I lurve it.

God bless....another agent showed up at Toad's. I am so confused. I haven't read spoilers on this so I don't know jack shit.

Tea thinks Dan-YELLA ditched Sam's party to do the nasty at the Minuteman. Ugh this convo just kinda got awkward. Ummmmmmm Dan-YELLA just asked where "Dad"! He's at the front door? Y'all don't hear all that commotion going on out front? Fail, OLTL.

Sweet Lord...Lone Ranger and Tonto!!!!! John McBain you are fabulous this week!!!

Ugh I need this two Todds storyline to improve!!! Aaaaaaaaand Tomas, Starr, Bruno, and NuJack don't hear the agent yelling at the two Todds just feet away outside the front door? BALLS!!!!!

I wish Vicki would say "Hey bitches, let's play darts." I can dream.

Wait...I hate these agents. They remind me of people from "The Twilight Zone." RH: "Why are there 2 Todd Mannings?" Geez Louise...tell me! Been wondering for forever!

I will say that Kelly looks gorg in her little outfit! Uber fabu! This Kelly and Joey thing ain't holding my attention. I mean....Gina Tognoni is SUPER FAB yet they are wasting her talent. Sad...

I mean....what kind of silly string is this?! They did not make this when I was growing up! Thank God...otherwise I would have been shooting that shit left and right. Dorian and Echo are utter deliciousness. OMIGOD...McBain is BEYOND CUTE with little Sam!!! Dear God in heaven!!!! CANNOT DEAL!!!!!

In case y'all forgot...Blair likes to have sex.

Good they knocked out RH?! NOOOO!!!!! I need this story to progress! I don't need the same shit...let's move this along, bitches! Now!

Vicki at least has a normal reaction to the body at she and Tea. That is it! Everyone else thinks it's normal. Good God.

Wait...I am so confused with this Todd shit!!!!!! Soooo TSJ is acting like he REALLY IS the real Todd? Did these bastards brainwash him a long time ago to make him believe he was/is Todd Manning but he really isn't? What the f*@k, y'all? I am so bloody confused!!!

AWWWWWW HELL! So NOW Tea and Dan-YELLA hear something outside and it's Toad's cell ringing. Yet, they didn't hear the commotion earlier. My ass. ADORBS..."here I am!" Little warm my heart.

Is anyone else absolutely DYING for RH and Vickster to have a scene?! Ugh...agony! I NEED this to happen soon. Woof.

LURVE IT!!! Vickers to Natty: "So you'll excuse me if I don't wanna play round 2 of the deflection game hosted by you, Natalie, where I'm just a losing contestant. SOMEONE has got to do some police work. So Vicki, you're welcome to stay here and go for the bonus round but I don't have time to stand here and listen to Natalie's long winded metaphors about operating tables and game shows." I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!! I don't wanna listen to Natty blab, either...word. Vicki's face was priceless, too. Awe snap!!! There is Dorian!

Blair...yes, you WILL let his ass out of your sight again. Your suckiness as a mother (and your sucking with men...interpret as you wish) is perpetual.

Ok so WTF with these agents? I mean...RH FINALLY starts interacting with people and now he is bound and gagged by these effing agents again? Jesus H. Christ....this story moves along and then it takes two steps back. WOOF.

Absurd....Joey is clearly below the drinking age, OLTL. What kind of an example does this set for all the viewers below the legal drinking age? I'm disappointed in you writers. Aaaaand Kelly and Joey will have sex. I mean...good for them. Joey is too young for all this but whatevs...

I am actually loving David and Dorian today. Not too hokey...nice. YES...Dorian, you are so right. The Minuteman is indeed a cest pool. Le woof!

Ok, so Sam's cake does not look very tasty. Plus, I mean...does this child have any friends? Where are some other kids? What a lame party? I mean...Starr is serving the cake to the child alone. FAIL.

Peeing...Vicki (mouthing): "Dorian! Apologize!" I love it. Oh no she didn't...Dorian said she loved to see David walk away?! Lordy.

WHAT THE F*@K?! Firstly, that was such a pansy ass way to hold a gun! Then, the agent shot Todd? What in the hell is going on? Oh, and any agent that shoots that way should in turn be shot. Good God.

Ross Rayburn on the Cymbalta commercial! What What!

There is a lot of sex going on at LaBoulaie this evening. Now we just need Blair to do some random guy she finds on the street to complete the trifecta. Unless....Addie has a man in the attic that we don't know about...hmmm.

Well at least Vickster saw the picture of RH. *Sigh* I need interaction.

I want to shove Starr's face into that damn cake.

Good God Almighty....I NEED John to read the note on his desk regarding the truth about McBundle because, lemme tell ya, I need that effing storyline to end. So tired of this shit.

RH will live, obviously, but WTF. I mean...seriously.

There was no sign of Dayt-en today so hopefully she went to Cali to find her mother and pursue a career in porn. Word. to get ready for work!!! See y'all this evening or in the morning!


China Lake

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Tuesday Will Be Up Tonight!

Morning! Was so exhausted after the game last night and then I fell back asleep this morning after Ross left the house...FAIL. So, I'm blogging about Tuesday later this evening after I do some stuff after work. See y'all then!
China Lake

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Mestiny's Terribleness Oozes Into Monday...and She Continues to Terrorize Me

Mes: "So, Matthew REALLY is talking now? He said he wanted me to move to a foreign country? For forever? Ok, I love Matthew so I'll do whatever he says. Thanks, Mrs. B.."

Happy EARLY Tuesday!!! This heatwave in Chicago sucks. I mean...granted, it's this temperature back in Louisiana every damn day but it just ain't s'posed to be this damn hot up here. Le sigh. It will be oppressively hot all week. Awesome. Anyway, I'll respond to comments from the last post and this post from work. I'll do Tuesday's blog on Wednesday because we are POSSIBLY going to the Cubs/Phillies game this evening. Thank you Ross' new job for the free tickets...word. Just seeing about how crunched for time we are. Who knows...maybe I'll be blogging this evening. Anyway...Onward...let's chat about Monday.

Monday, July 18th--Horrified That Poor Nora Had to Talk To Mes the ENTIRE EPISODE
1. Again, Blair (much easier to blame Blair since she ONLY thinks with her vagina) is stupid as hell for leaving Sam with "Spiderman." I mean...parenting at its finest.
2. Sam and RH will be the bright spot in this episode, no doubt. May I just say that RH has one helluva body. Dayum.
3. John and Natty continue to resemble a boring show on PBS.
4. The picture on Toad's desk with his kids is the worst photoshopping job ever. Some kid in a summer camp arts and crafts camp must have done that. Shitastic job.
5. OMIGOD. I is just plain wrong that Nora will interact with Mes for an entire episode. CRIMINAL!
6. Dayt-en just looks like a deer in headlights. You know I must admit that ever since NQS started on OLTL I have been secretly longing for him to a do a porn movie so I can purchase it for my own home. Who seems dreams don't come true? UGH!!!!!!!!!!
7. Jesus H. Christ...I mean, I can't even enjoy my favorite character because I'm so effing upset she has to deal with Mes. I mean...Nora will only be on once a week (if that) since it is summer time and when she is on she has to deal with Mes and her PINK stick. Someone just beat the shit out of me now...please. I mean...I don't think I can keep doing this blog if things keep going like this.
8. I is Dan-YELLA knocking on ALL 104 rooms at the Minuteman in order to find NQS? Yet she just happens to stumble upon the right room since it seems that everyone who stays at the MM is between rooms 103 and 104. LOL. I am sure I've seen another room # but I'm sure it is around the 103 range. Silly rabbits...
9. OMG so presh! I want to tote Sam around with me...daily! He could just be my little sidekick at work, on the bus, while cooking dinner...I can see it now. Ok so RH looks kinda hot in that costume...cannot lie.
10. UGH!!!!!!!! I am SCREAMING at the tv right now!!!! I cannot deal with Nora holding Mes' hand and chatting with her like she would her best friend (aka Vicki). I need a HUGE pot or pan to come flying out of nowhere from the kitchen and land on Mes. Bitch.
11. Dan-YELLA don't get down. Just go check room 103...that's the only other room NQS could be in.
12. Again, John I need your hair to strike up a convo or you get some Hounds beer and play darts this instant. I need things lively...
13. I would most definitely do Tea. She looks smokin' in that dress.
14. I actually felt a twinge of jealousy watching Sam jump on the bed. I was not allowed to do that as a child...whannn!
15. May I just say that this episode ain't doin' it for me...even with my fav character. This is sad. OMG the music at the Buenos Dias is ATROSH!!!! I swear they play the same song there constantly. DAMMIT TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot effing deal with Nora's references to Matt having kids! AHHHH!!!!!!! There is that DAMN PINK stick!!! This stick terrorizes me in my dreams at night I a Mestiny voice! Cool it with the f*@king "flashbacks" OLTL. Right this instant! I can't discuss this shit anymore...
16. NQS and Dayt-en really want to do each other...this is an excuse.
17. These Rama/Vimal scenes...just not interested in these characters anymore. Rama looks uber gorg, not feeling it.
18. Well, Sam will no doubt be found since I'm sure Natty's badass CSU skills will come to the rescue. Everyone is in good hands. So glad this bitch is back from maternity leave and back where she belongs--working for the LPD.
19. LOL...Starr had no clue there was a murder at her own effing house. Unreal.
20. Holy Mother of God...NQS is dripping in sweat!!! I would say he looks like he just got out of the sauna at Serenity Springs, but no one sweats in there (even fully clothed) so I can't use that one. Damn.
21. Mes if you tell my poor Nora about you and Matthew and that baby I'll effing gouge your eyes out with the preg test, you whore!
22. I mean...Blair to everyone: "Sam made friends with a homeless man on the property at LaBoulaie." REALLY?! What kind of a mother calmly says shit like this? And, what kind of people let homeless people and others roam their property. Good God! Lord, Blair's parenting skills are shit. The writers make her look so dense.
23. Nora, I assure you that you are gonna regret saying you need Mes to remind you that Matt will live a long life, fall in love, get married and have kids. Good God.
24. I'm looking at the pennants in the background and not at the actors.
25. I need to hurry...after 7 and I have to get in hair and makeup soon. Stylist just arrived.
26. I haven't said this in awhile, but I'd still do Ted King. Horrible storyline and all...
27. Please Dayt-en...leave the show now that you have your mother's information. I won't miss you. Plus, I'll have your dvd to provide me with warm memories.
28. Whannnn! Vimal just mentioned Marty! =( Her craziness could have entertained us this episode.
29. Starr stop fanning yourself. Wait...where is James? Not that I care, but why isn't he at the party? I mean...NQS was going to go then cancelled. Just wondering.
30. FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! The two Todds are going to interact?! Seriously?! I long has this been going on?! PLEASE be good! PLEASE! I'm begging you. I need to this hellish summer of OLTL to be saved. K, thanks.

Ok I must hurry up and get ready for work! Comment later. It's been fun as always!

China Lake

Sunday, July 17, 2011

It's About Time You Showed Up

RH: "I assure you that you are without a doubt the coolest character on this show. It is beyond wrong that I get paid a shit-ton of money and I don't even talk yet you get paid nothing. I'll work on getting you a higher salary if you work on your stupid mother and your aunt, the mayor, to get a security system for LaBoulaie. Deal?"

How are y'all doing?! I've had quite the busy weekend. May I just say we had a block party yesterday and last night and so fun. Been busy today doing wedding stuff. So happy to blog about Friday's show since it was leaps and bounds better than Thursday...and Wednesday. Lordy. Ok I'll respond to comments hopefully in the morning, but if not a.m. then afternoon. Oh, and rac...I asked Ross about the swamp tour thing and he told me one so I'll tell you tomorrow, dear. Well then...

Friday, July 15th--It Took a Damn Superhero (more like Vicki and Dorian) to FINALLY Have a Good Episode This Week!!!
1. I need a crazed lunatic, serial killer, psychopath, pizza delivery just see NuJack outside of Todd's and kill him. Like right now. He hasn't said a word yet and I want to dispose of him. Also, I was confused the other day but thanks to NuJack it has now been verified that Carla DOES still work for Dorian since she [Carla] dropped NuJack off at Todd's.
2. WORD!!!!! Dorian and Echo...these will be spectacular scenes, no doubt.
3. I also lurve some David/Vicki foolishness. David: "Of course you. Did you forget that I pretended to be your brother circa '94?" LOL!!!! Lurve it. Ugh...but now I'm sad because the show was sooooooo much better in 1994! Whannnnnn! Too sad to discuss. Why did you bring up such a good year, David?! Why?!
4. Aaaaaand, poor Sam's party looks boring as hell!!!! Everybody looks like they are in a trance! And, that music playing?! It is dripping in shit sauce!!!! My God it's a 7 year old's bday party!! Ugh...I wouldn't be surprised if the music selection was from Baz and Starr since they both suck more than call girls in Washington D.C. It would just be fitting if those two picked out the music. Tea is the only one who seems interested...
5. I REFUSE to let Mes ruin this blog. God...Mes, Dayt-en AND NQS all at the same location.
6. Toad: "It's about time you showed up." My God! Truer words have never been spoken. RH needs to meet you and everyone else in the damn town! UGH! This storyline is slower than waiting at the DMV!!!!!!! And that is hella slow...
7. REALLY?!?! I have to be subjected this shit. "What happens at the Minuteman stays at the Minuteman." Just effing kill me. Oh, and I need Mes to start choking on food right about now....FYI. Christmas in July, bitches! PLEASE!!!!!
8. Echo just said she found a DVD of David's audition reel in her room at the Buchanan mansion. I wish she would have found the DVD where Marko and Ford helped David tape the Buchanan documentary....LURVED it! That was so hilarious. ;)
9. HOLD THE PHONE!!! A Tina Lord reference!? Good God please tell me they will bring her back for a bit. But...only Andrea Evans' Tina! Ugh...but she is at Bold and Beautiful now. Boo. Anyway, I will be hopeful. I would lurve some Tina/Vicki goodness. Peeing...Vicki said "Tina has no radar." I love it. OMG and then David said Clint was dying but did have a cell phone and a very scary contact list. Hilar.
10. May I just throw it out there that I am hella shocked that Mes doesn't have the PINK preg test with her at the f*@king table at the Buenos Dias?! Even after the bitch peed on it...she is so effing gross I'm surprised she didn't just lay the damn stick on the table. UGH. She is so effing obnoxious.
11. Sam...coolest small child on television. Oh, and in case y'all forgot...Blair is a terrible mother and only thinks with her coo-nacha.
12. John McBain has some GOOD hair. He could have been a Breck girl back in the day...or a model for Prell. Nowadays maybe Pantene? Who wouldn't want such a mane? Any man in his right mind. ;) I haven't discussed Natty yet. I will don't worry....
13. I'd just like to know how RH is breathing in that damn outfit. There is no nostril outlet. This is really bothering me. I will say that this whole Todd/Todd thing is finally starting to interest me...but just a little. I'm not fully interested yet...
14. Seriously, I need Baz, NuJack, NQS, James, Dayt-en, and last but not least, Mes, cleared out IMMEDIATELY!!! I mean...I get worked up watching this shit show when they are all in scenes. I'm ok with Matthew, Dan-YELLA, and out of guilt I'll say Starr since I feel obligated to say she should be kept. But, let's face it this show is ruining her character. No, they already have. Damn shame. Ok I'll stop...
15. This whole thing with Mes calling Dan-YELLA and then not telling her the reason why she f*@king called and then poor Dan-YELLA leaving the party to go see Mes....STUPID! I want to beat the shit out of Mes.
16. I effing LURVE this Vicki/David nonsense. Shit like this brightens my day...or night. I love that Vicki said "lash out." I say that constantly...usually about my dog "lashing out."
17. Oh happy day...Robin Strasser just said "slut." I need "bitch" by the end of this episode, too. Thanks, RS! You make me smile. xx, ME
18. Minority opinion with the Jolie crew: These John/Natty scenes are boring as hell. Sorry...they just are. I think if John's silky hair started taking on a life of its own and began talking then the scenes would get interesting. Or, John could always ask Natalie to play darts. Instant party.
19. Tea's reaction to the dead body at LaBoulaie's pool is the ONLY one thus far that has been normal! Jesus H. Christ! No one seems to care about it or think it is weird in the slightest...mercy!
20. Well, I just peed all over myself and must go change. David: "What about Addie?!" LOL! What about her, David? That bitch has been babysitting Hope and all the other Llanview tots with Renee Divine. They play cards...Renee drinks bourbon...they watch kids in attic. She doesn't have time (or the brains) to plot against you. Word. So Vicki can figure out that someone is not really trying to hurt David but is really trying to hurt Dorian yet she can't come to the conclusion that it is time she install a security system at Llanfair?! ha! Vickster, I love you but come on...
21. These Echo/Dorian scenes are THAT good. No words necessary. Seriously. They are both uber fabu.
22. Mes, I'm assuming that coke you are having is caffeine-free? Whore. And, please tell Dan-YELLA that truth or I will beat you with a spatula from the Buenos Dias!!!!
23. Rick is quite something. Those pennants! "Ball U." "I.F.U." "A.S.S." Very porn-like. He cares about the setting. Very thoughtful director that Rick. Attention to detail. Can't find that with everyone these days...
24. Natty: "Well I only learned basic decryption. Although I can give it a try. It would be nice if my boss would spring for me to go to Quantico, because I could probably crack this in a day." MY ASS!!!!! Just hush it.
25. SAM IS TOO DAMN PRESH!!!! Please come to my house and be my friend! We will bake cookies and what not! Oh, and I think RH taking pics with everyone was creepy. I really do. I mean...I liked it, but I thought it was somewhat chilling. Given the history and all. Now I just need this story to keep fast pace. K, thanks.
26. Ok so when Tea told Toad: "You're not gonna lose us." I kinda got upset. I mean...I have always considered RH the real Todd but now that I know TSJ is leaving I found that sad. Plus, I don't want Tea to get some big middle finger. =( That was odd...I'm surprised I feel this way.
27. MESTINY YOU DUMB DUCK! Effing tell, Dan-YELLA about NQS and Cleveland or whatever the hell her name is...UGH!
28. You know you would think that after finding a dead man on Mayor Vickers-Buchanan's property that security would have been a little more stringent but they let Echo walk right in...lameasses. On another note, I lurve that Queen V and Dorian figured out Echo was behind this Ionia shit...holy hell am I glad that bitch isn't on our screen anymore.
29. Aaaaand Dorian just spout off French and then said "You conniving whore." I'm content for the evening. Snap! She just said "bitch" and now there is a waterhose? I'm as happy as a pig in shit....
30. I'd like to be called "China Lake" from here on out. I see a lot of $$$$ in my future. I HATE NQS! HE IS SUCH A FAILURE!!!!!!!
31. I'd rather read "Moby Dick" than watch these John/Natty scenes this evening...
32. RH spoke actual words at the party?! I damn near fell out from shock just now...
33.'s now nighttime on this very last segment. Hmmm so the sun set in Llanview during the last commercial break. Very nice. I mean...sometimes days last for WEEKS but it becomes evening almost instantly. Pennsylvania is an interesting place...
34. I'm sorry but I wouldn't have left Sam ALONE with some creepy guy you don't know that you hired to be Superman but this guy has been weird the whole party and won't say anything. I'll blame Blair since that is the easy way out...
35. Little Sam is just too young to be subjected to the Herpes Hangout. UGH.

Okie dokie...I'm EXHAUSTED! I'll reply to comments tomorrow. See y'all then!

China Lake
(Coming soon to "adult" DVD)

Friday, July 15, 2011

Please Say This Nightmare Is Over!!! Mija's About To Choke A Bitch!

Nora: "Oh no, Bo! You mean we have to be in ANOTHER episode with all teens? This is so unfair! Next time they want to put us in another teen episode I'll promise to make up an unbeatable excuse. We'll be 'sittin' shiva' but not really... ;) "

Oooookay. So I am quickly sitting down to blog before we go out for the evening...too gorgeous out. Have to drink, be merry and appreciate this weather! I said earlier, Wednesday and Thursday's episodes were just oozing in shit. Y'all know that. I could go off on the teen scene for days upon days, but I decided I'm not gonna do that. In my opinion, these episodes weren't even worthy of blog posts. I dunno...maybe y'all liked these episodes, but I was just not into either of them. So, I'm going to take the advice of my constitutional law professor. When preparing for our big exam at the end of the semester he would always tell us to think of our answer like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep it interesting. Well, I'm gonna do JUST that. I'm literally just going to spout off random, terse observations about the show. That's it. Then, I'm gonna pray Friday's episode is fabu (I think Vicki and Dorian are on so please...), so I can do a full post again and things get back to normal. I mean...blogging about this show during the summer is effing difficult. I cannot lie. Ok lemme get this started...

Wednesday, July 13th--Bo and Nora's Desperate Plea to Be Saved From This Episode
1. I refuse to discuss Starr and James. They have so many effing in depth discussions and I just hate them at this point. Also, Dorian's pool is lame as shit.
2 Rick: "So who is ready to make a porn?" Lemme tell ya...this girl right here! ME!!!!!!! Seriously, I would do Nathaniel Q. Salinger EVERY WAY IMAGINABLE if the show would get rid of the effing teen scene and get back on track. I would do it...seriously. No one can say I'm not a team player. Word.
3. Oh you're nauseated Mes? You bitch. I'm sick as shit, too, and it is all because of YOU! So thanks a lot. UGH! I have to say that the evil thoughts I have about Mes are not suitable for this blog. I've never felt such hatred for a character.
4. The ONE good thing about this episode: Bo and Nora. They were adorable, and I really liked Nora's outfit. I'm so thankful she has consecutively worn new and fabu clothing...thank you, Jesus! Oh, and when Bo told Nora he was with, still my heart. He is so fabulous. Nora you don't know what to do with your time? Why don't y'all just have sex?
5. Todd and Tea's bed looks UBER comfy! I mean...I just want to crawl in the bed. They can argue about God knows what and I'd just sleep.
6. Dayt-en's cardigan has tomatoes all over it. Hideous. If I could throw tomatoes at my screen this episode, I would. Or, I want to shove a shit-ton of tomatoes down NQS' throat and have him choke...a bit too violent? Yes. But, I thought it so oh well.
7. I think Vivian is a very, very pretty woman. She should be shown more after Mes is killed off...since I'm gonna will that to happen somehow. Seriously, I will make sure Mes meets her demise. I know I'll want to kill Mes Monday cause, unfortunately, she and Nora have scenes together...alone. I will go postal I'm sure.
8. *Sigh* I don't want to discuss the Ford/Jess shit. I'll say that Jess still sucks rhino balls as a character and now the writers are STILL trying to brainwash us to think that Ford didn't rape Jess. He can now love her because he loved Tess. She has the same hair! The same voice! He just has to have her...otherwise he is heartbroken! Oh no! UGH!!!!! Somebody just effing slit my wrist with the broken glass from the Todd/Vickster picture frame. Dammit to hell!
9. I mean...this mango gum nonsense is absurd. And, when Nora told Bo he didn't chew gum I was like....WTF? He has it in his mouth like every episode. LOL.
10. I was so riveted by the Tomas/Baz conversation about effing music!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME!?

This episode was disgusting. I hate that B/N had to be apart of this foolishness, but I'm thankful they kept me from losing it. On now to Thursday...

Thursday, July 14th--Mija's About to Lose Her Shit!!!!
1. Sam is by far the coolest character on this episode. I hear ya're missing your birthday party and your miffed. I'm miffed this show is beating the shit out of me this summer. Life's tough. Another thing: Sam is most def the BEST DRESSED character this episode! Those shoes!
2. I love the "soap pads" label in the Buenos Dias kitchen.
3. Ross' comment about Baz was "that' a f*@kin' dumbass shirt." I can't argue with that statement...
4. I'm praying Rick is not a porn director but really a serial killer and has been sent to Llanview for the sole purpose of murdering half the teens.
5. I love Tea's powder blue robe. She looks presh.
6. In case y'all forgot, Blair's a terrible mother and makes bad decisions in life thanks to her out of control sex drive.
7. Blair and John McBain have the same hair...
8. Ross loves RICK and frankly...I do too this episode. Jesus H. Christ this episode is atrosh.
9. John McBain was UBER ADORBS with little Sam! I'm sorry...he was. I mean...Sam was like his little buddy. I lurve it!
10. That's it. I can't do this anymore. I just sent an email to the ABC studios to see if I could set up a time and place to eff NQS so I can save us all from this shit we are being subjected to day after day. I'm doing this for you, people!!!!

Than you, Jesus! We are going out to have fun! Again, Friday's episode will be better and I will be able to do a full blog. I feel it!

Love you, mean it!!!

Little Mija

I'm Alive...

Ok so I have had to work UBER late this week and then last night had to meet a friend who just moved to the time! Anyway, this evening I'm going to do a combined post of Wednesday and Thursday because, let's be serious...those episodes were shit. But, I don't have to tell y'all that cause y'all are all kinds of intelligent. So...I'm sure I'll do some crazy Marty Saybrooke like post for these episodes since I'm sure I'll get furious as I'm typing about the teens. Ugh. Then I'll do Friday's post over the weekend.

Love you all and mean it...miss blogging!


Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Baby Snooks

I think if Mayor Vickers Buchanan saw this pic of "Baby Snooks" she would change her mind about that being her pet name.

Okay! Round 2. I hope this episode is worth me getting up early. We shall see. I don't know what happened except I think Rex was mean to Bo? Ummmm just no. Oh...and yes, I know that "Baby Snooks" is probably referring to Snookie from "Jersey Shore" but I Googled "Baby Snooks" and came across these pics. They were all so absurd so I had to post one. I think Dorian would freak if she knew THIS was the original "Baby Snooks."

Alright...lemme start so I have time.

Tuesday, July 12th--Christian Vega's Arms Are Typing This Blog...
1. Todd just strolled into "The Sun?" I'm assuming there are no long-time employees working there because they could have seen Todd and had a damn panic attack.
2. takes Bo going to visit Rex in order to get Bo back in the Buch Mansion. This is so sad. It really is.
3. Speaking of all this Natty/Brody/tape recorder business....I'd love to see the scene of Marty throwing Natty off the roof and then Marty doing that crazy gesture after. I know that is not a legit flashback since it was a couple months ago but still....
4. No good deed goes unpunished obviously...Starr and Baz will probably have some effing in depth convo. I'm sure the directions at the top of Starr and Baz's scripts said that these scenes would be a "f*@k you to Mary-Ella." That is just wrong.
5. I love that Vicki is even questioning that someone MAY have broken into Llanfair. As if it would be really strange, since she has a stellar security system for her mansion and always locks the doors.
6. Ugh...I'm ready for Vimal to leave the canvas, yo.
7. AH!!!!! Brody! You and Natty are meant to be with all this lying. So, he is gonna lie to Natty and John. Nice. I know I have said I'm ready for this story to wrap up, but I am looking forward to John McBain's reaction to Liam's paternity.
8. I will agree with David about the bikini..."bad taste." UGH. It's dripping in shit. Oh, and I'd LURVE to have Blair's boobs...or body for that matter. I'll keep my own brain.
9. It's too early in the morning for me to get uber worked up. I've only had like two sips of coffee and it's hump day so I want to enjoy it. Soooooo I sure as hell ain't discussin' Bruno Mars and Starr.
10. Wait...I hate how the inside of "The Sun" looks like it is unfinished. I'm beyond irritated about this.
11. Oh Lord...I hate that Bo is propping Rex (and how this show makes Bo drop everything to go help him). On the other hand, it is typical Bo to go and talk to Balsom and try and help him and prevent him from making the same mistakes he [Bo] made when Drew died. Bo knows Rex is not acting himself etc. So I will wait and see where this goes. My sweet Bo's heart is in the right place...
12. I wish a freaky ass giant boulder would just fall through the roof of "The Sun" and land on NuJack. I would then throw a cocktail party and all of you would be invited. LOL...Todd referred to himself as the "trash collector." Speaking of...all the little boys in elementary school wanted to be a garbage man JUST so they could ride on the back of the truck.
13. McBain WILL figure this tape recorder shit out!!! I hope he wears his best black suit on the day he hears the news about McBundle.
14. UGH! Every damn time they show Gigi's pic on the mantle where Asa's should be I literally go "Ahhh!" Look at Bo admitting he has plenty of money...rarely happens! Rex is getting back in to full on spaz mode...spaztastic to the max.
15. RH is most definitely earning his paycheck today. I mean...two days in a row of dialogue. PEEING!!!! I FLOVE the headlines of "The Sun!" The one with "Baby Got Back" and "Vicki Freed" are hilar!
16. I wanted to throw my gorgeous blue and white coffee mug (full of good Community Coffee) at the damn tv when Starr said "We are supposed to be recording music." MY GOD PLEASE SPARE ME!!!! I cannot handle that this morning!
17. BoldLOL!!! "What kind of cheesy security system do you have where strangers can come and go?" WHAT security system?! Jesus H. one else in Llanview is bothered by this!!!!
18. Brody is getting a little twinkle of batshit crazy in his eye. I see the little gleam. I'm kinda excited...cannot lie. I LOVE to see people fly off the handle. I mean...I don't want Brody to leave but I have known he was for months and he isn't my absolute favorite so I will sit back on the St. Ann's Express and enjoy this foolishness.
19. Damn...I just noticed how much taller KDP is than RS. LOL...Dorian doesn't even give a shit that someone was KILLED on her damn property!!! I mean...she is still prancing about by the pool with no fear of someone harming her! These Llanview peeps are fearless! My God!
20. Damn...I need these Vicki/David scenes to deliver. They are lasting all of 2 effing seconds.
21. I'd rather have Mes' PINK preg test shoved up my ass repeatedly than watch these effing Starr and Baz scenes!!!! UGH!
22. The highlight of my day: RH hitting NuJack!!!! God knows that NuJack will be alright and continue to live on in scene after scene but poor Matthew (the best teen actor on the show) is all but in a coma after his head incident. Because...this makes sense. UGH.
23. The Vicki bumper just pulls at my heartstrings every damn time. She looks so fabu in all those pics. Tear.
24. These Brody/John/Natty scenes...someone needs to break the tension. I wish McBain would be like "'s been a long day. How 'bout we play some darts?" WORD.
25. AH!!! A Drew Buchanan reference! Talk about a pointless death. Snap! Has Bo EVER admitted that he shut out Nora when Drew died and that is why he lost her? I don't believe. God...I'm blocking that period of time out of my head right now. Too depressing to think about. Obviously, y'all know that I am gonna agree with everything Bo said. I mean...Rex does need to be strong and a good parent to Shane. Oh, and Shane has a helluva lot more sense than Rex. In case y'all forgot...
26. In case y'all forgot I'm here to remind you that Blair is still a terrible mother with a great set of boobs.
27. ha...a "Pa and Step-Nora" reference. I chuckle every time. David is making me pee! All this talk of Vicki finally hurling herself at him. hahahahahaha! David: "Even though she [Dorian] would have shot me if it wasn't for that corpse." Vicki: "What corpse?" David: "Oh, some stranger died...over at Dorian's house. But my good friend, John McBain, is gonna find that culprit. He and I are like brothers." hahahahaha!
28. This Blair/Dorian convo is just absurd in a hilarious way.
29. NO NO NO! Baz is about to spin tunes and Starr looks like she is going to sing!!!! AH!!!! I want to go effing Marty Saybrooke on these bitches!!! Like...breaking bottles and shit and turning them into Kelly Cramer filets. DAMMIT!!!
30. I do LURVE some David/Victoria action. HA!!! Vicki: "'re learning restraint." Oh, Vickster you're so witty. I mean...David is effing cracking me up this episode!!! David: "But, I may have lost my baby, Snooks." I AM PEEING!!!! Then Vicki said "Baby Snooks?" This is fantastic!!! I mean...I need Ross to call me "Baby Snooks" instead of "Muffy."
31. ha! Dorian doesn't know if the guy had a scar since she was too busy defending herself. Oh wow...a "Mad Margaret" reference. That bitch was so crazy. Good God.
32. Again, John if you just suggest that y'all play darts the tension would go away.
33. I'm so tired of RH lurking!!!! I love how Todd called security and said there was a break-in. I mean...people just think this is like...normal shit or something. Ugh.
34. Rex...NO!!!!! Do NOT yell at Bo. I cannot deal. I'm gonna have to beat your spastic ass if you keep this up.
35. LOL....Blair (in a bewildered voice): "What if Sam befriended a murderer?" I mean HELLO?! Blair that is your favorite pastime! I mean...he learned it from you! Shit! Do not act surprised! Do NOT!
36. Of course...Vicki is the most selfless person ever and she will help David find out who is setting him up. God bless her.
37. Praise God. I was spared. So thankful I didn't have to listen to Starr sing. WHAT?! You want to take the act on the road, Baz?! Someone please just eliminate these two right now. My God...can you imagine if they had a traveling act and OLTL made it a part of the show?! I would quit watching. Lord.
38. Ummmm Rex just kicked out Bo of the Buchanan Mansion? Again...REX kicked out BO of the Buchanan Mansion. I hate this. So effing backwards. UGH!!!!! I wish Nora would have never given the damn place back to Clint. Woofy.
39. Again John, you just had to say "let's play darts." Everyone would be joking again.

Whew! Ok I'm off to get ready for work. I will respond to comments at some point today. So glad to be caught up!

Y'all have a fabu hump day!

Love you, mean it!
Hannah O'Connor (filling in for Marty while she and Patrick are on vaycay)