Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Natalie, Welcome to the Dinner Party from Hell.

Dear Natalie, The real reason I can't be with you is because you love artichokes (just like every other woman I've been with). Also, you like Hounds beer instead of Jim Daniels. This relationship was doomed to fail. I'm sorry. John McBain

Ooookay. Here I am for round 2! I heard I'm gonna FLOVE today's episode! Can't wait for the Marty Madness to continue. Hell, I need something positive and exciting since I'm still so damn distraught over the Bo/Nora/Matthew thing coming up...good God almighty!!! I'm hoping it's just misleading...woof.

BoldWednesday, May 11th

Oh WOOOOOOOOOF!!!!!!!!!! Wes?! This is about 10 shades of dumb. Where did that ski cap even come from?! It's May for crying out loud! FAIL.

Those damn Delhi Bellies. Damn you Christian Vega for making them for Rama! Lord his character has no direction. Oh, and damn! So Aubs got all decked out, huh?! She changed out of her white Ann Taylor cardigan and into that green frock. Sidenote: I have a green dress almost identical.

Be still my heart!!! Oooh bad reference given his physical health...sorry. Anyway, who cares? It's Clint! Hiiiii Gorgeous! Missed you!

AND Vickster. This is awesome. Poor baby looks despondent! LOL...Ross is outraged: "Who the hell is Lois?!"

Oooookay. Been waiting on this shit at John's nasty apt. Aw hell!!!!!! A bloody place card!? Now that is my kinda dinner party.

I love Clint's pjs. Now, if we can get him in that monogrammed "CB" robe of his we will be in business. Clint looked like he was just gonna stroke out after Joey dropped the Tess bomb.

Wes is f*@kin' nuts. I'm watching these scenes in disbelief.

Time out!!!!! I'm sorry I have to go there with this...Echo's hair. Just no. NO!!! Tell you what...just IMAGINE what I am thinking about it right now. Whatever bad thought pops in your head is probably accurate! Woof! I do love ya, KZ. Keep it real (and don't do this haircut again). "The Lush of Llanview." "The Minx of the Minuteman." OMG...hi Dorian!!!! You are so fab! So nice to SEE your hair today, too!

Lord I had to laugh when Vicki asked John if Natty was working a case for him...LOL! As if she is a badass CSU!? Why can't they just say CSI instead of CSU?!

God Bless America! Just show Kelly for crying out loud! Oh shit...Natty/Marty on the roof. As if we don't see where this is headed. On another tangent, I wonder if all this Matthew spoiler mess (I'm not going in detail for those who don't read spoilers) is a red herring and Natalie really dies and is a match for Clint. He does have a rare blood type and all. Eh...probably not. I'm sure I'll think of something different tomorrow.

DAMMIT! Lois references out the ass today!!! Guess what I'm about to say: "Poor Vicki." Dammit she can't catch a break. Regardless, I most def think she can do better than Chuckie B. so it needs to happen, but divorce any instance. =(

These Echo/Dorian scenes are totally faboosh! Dorian managed to cut down both Echo AND Christian. Too much vermouth in the martini...flove it.

I love how Rama was so damn upset about Aubrey's and Cutter's change in plans. LOL! "Since when and why wasn't I informed?"

I tell you what...for someone that is dying, that Clint Buchanan sure looks dapper. Word, yo.

I'm not really into the Wes stuff. I'm sorry everyone. Maybe by the end of the episode?

Aaaand, my heart is kinda breaking watching Charlie and Vickster. Suckytown. Depressionville. I hate break-ups. Well, ones that seem "real." They seem quite believable.

Where the hell are the Marty/Natty scenes?! Dammit to hell, OLTL! Where is Kelly's bloody ass?! Show them, writers! If not, I'll cut your asses with a beer bottle! ;)

Robin Strasser is totally rocking my socks today!!!! TOTALLY!

Lord a Paris, Texas, reference. Ross died out laughing when Charlie mentioned it...

Missed the Aubs/Rama scene. Oh well...

One of the many reasons I love Clint: "Aw God if you gotta think about it Joe that's not good." To the point and hilarious. Flove it. AW SHIT!!!! Joey did indeed remove that binky, y'all! He is totally figuring shit out. Come on boy. Don't let me down! I don't have a similar dress to Aubs. I thought it was one shoulder, but it's not. Hmmm.

Clint, just spill it to Joe. xx

Wes: "Who's ready to get their drink on?" F*@k this...

OH.HELL.YES! John back at his scummy apartment! Go find Kelly, John McBain! That blood everywhere is gonna stain! Seriously! Marty's sauce is still on my floor so I can't imagine blood. Oy! I know Natty didn't make a copy of that tape. Woof.

Look at Dorian Lord pronouncing Carlotta and Christian correctly! Now...if EVERYONE on this show could pronounce everyone's name the same we would be in business. I'd love to see this happen before January. God bless.

Now Vicki's crying. Sonofabitch. I want to cry!!!!!! Aaaaand, I teared up. =( He called her Vicki D., too. Lord. That's it? No more Charlie ever?

I'm sorry but I'm so over yesterday. I think it has a lot to do with the fact I'm tired of these alters now. Just stick with Tess or something and let's move on. I need the show to focus on more important matters since we don't have much more time left.

Clint is just not holding back huh?! LOL. "Groping each other for good measure." Aaand, I will now use that phrase. Flove it. Ok, so HOW STUPID does Joey feel right now? Rephrase: How stupid SHOULD Joey feel right now?! These Clint/Joey scenes are FABOOSH! Surprisingly.

Come on, John!!! Open that door in true John McBain fashion! YES! FINALLY! Good God that is A LOT of rbcs, platelets, and hemoglobin hanging out on that bathroom floor!

Hmmm I wonder if Marty will break that wine bottle and use it as a weapon? On another note, that roof is decorated a lot better than ours here at my apartment. From now on, I think I'll insist upon the John McBain view of Llanview when apartment hunting from now on...yes, I will. Snap...the knife! Natty, you're a CSU. You don't want to get stabbed and contaminated with Kelly's blood. Run, ho!

Woof on signing divorce papers. However, now I need Vicki and Clint Buch to get back together before the show ends. Word homies.

hahahaha! Dorian faked a cheap thrill when Echo shoved the money down her jacket. Awesometown!!!

I'm so shocked the writers are redeeming Aubs and proving to us that she loves Joe!!!! I NEVER SAW THIS COMING! Those OLTL writers. They sure know how to fool a girl. Damn!

Joe, just let your daddy quarterback this. He can fix all this shit from the hospital bed while you are playing Legos. And, I kinda know what is gonna happen with all this Clint dying mess but I kinda feel bad for him.

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!! MARTY IS A PSYCHO HOSE BEAST AND I FLOVE IT! I'm so glued to these Marty/Natty scenes. Thumbs up. Too short, though...

SNAP! Vickster overheard the news about Clint. I anticipate these upcoming scenes to be awesome.

WHAT THE HELL?!?! HOLD THE PHONE! Did I miss this earlier?! Joey arrived at Capricorn and his hair is TOTALLY parted to the side!!!! What?! So...Aubs does it therefore Joey does? Also, when did Joey stop and do this salon magic? Hmmm. He looks like a different person. Rama, those Delhi Bellies are probably fattening. Just sayin'...

Lemme guess...Wes escaped. Lord...sure enough. What a damn surprise.

Yes! Yes! A Joe/Dorian scene! WAIT...his hair is TOTALLY different! I'm so distracted by it!

That's right, John. Marty...MARTY just did that to Kelly. You and Dr. Levin...I swear. Y'all both thought Marty was sane. FAIL. However, I will remove the aforementioned "FAIL" since if it wasn't for your poor judgment Marty couldn't throw her crazy sauce all over town and be totally badass/crazy/awesome. Lifetime movie psycho bitches could learn a thing or a thousand from Marty effing Saybrooke.

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!! I know what happens in these Marty/Natty scenes but I FLOVED watching them twirl around on that roof with a sharp object! Natalie's hair was flying a figure skater's would. LOL.

Whew! I'm exhausted! I know I have a few comments to respond to...I know, sorry! I'm headed to bed now and will respond tomorrow if it kills me! Promise you! Keep them getting those sent to my email everyday.

See you duckies tomorrow!



  1. I read somewhere that Farrah Fath does her own hair/makeup and cuts hair. I was wondering if she gave KZ that horrifying hair

  2. No she didn't, Katie. But I'm still mad at her for making my friend John Paul a brunette. Yes, we all knew he wasn't a natural blond, but he looked so much better

  3. Not feeling this Wes thing, but the rest of the episode was pretty good. LOVED Marty and Natalie, I am so sad Marty is leaving, BOO! Of Clint is always yummy, mmmmm.

    BUT I am having a hard time enjoying the show, those DAMN Bo, Nora, and Matthew spoilers. I have cried a few time just thinking about them, they better not go there! I don't know if I can watch anymore if they do that, I just don't think I'll about OLTL anymore.

  4. Holy crap I am so on edge with psycho-killer Marty COMPLETELY FREAKING ME OUT and the anticipation of Roger making an appearence on Friday. HE HAS BEEN IN A PSYCHE WARD ALL THIS TIME?? WHAT DID TOMAS DO TO HIM??? Mr Chandler seems to know of what he speaks (so awesome btw) so was it brainwashing gone awry? Will he even remember his horrible crimes? This is how soaps USED to work on me - making ME almost as crazy as Marty. Hate it / LOVE it.

    *sigh* I will say it for you. POOR VIKI. And now she had to hear that Clint is dying. Guess they will bond creating a heart transplant anonymous club.

    I hope they can ramp up an awesome story line for Rama - she is so fun to watch.

    Still rooting for Jelly. I know we are in the minority, but he ACTUALLY SMILES AT HER - it is so SWEET. I get the feeling these two actors really enjoy each other. That bloodstain is NEVER coming out of the grout on that bathroom floor.

    John's apartment looks like it came straight out of a David Lynch movie. It is ridiculous - he isn't playing a vampire anymore people!

    Ugh on Wess Tess Bess Jess. SO insulting people - REALLY????

    And where the HELL is the bullying story?

    AND where the hell did that ADORABLE SUPER PRESH little Sam dude ever go?? I LOVED him - guess that means he has to go just like the awesome previous Jack. I literally ache that I can't see that remarkable kid work with RH.

    Can't possibly miss an episode anymore, in spite of the random stinkers. Still makes me weep when things get really rocking and I have to remember our days are numbered . . .

    BTW - following you on Twitter now - with the weird name Tshephellhamo. Just so you can make the connection if I tweet you. I am going to start using the phrase "pulling a Marty Saybrooke" myself whether folks know what I am talking about or not.