Monday, May 16, 2011

The Sound of Silence

Todd: "haha! I'm not gonna talk, Mary-Ella, until you begin to emulate Marty Saybrooke! Do it and I will speak and tell you where I have been all these years!"

Evening y'all! inner trashiness got the better of me. I had to watch "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" before I watched OLTL. hehe. Bonus: I got to tweet with Tina Sloan a bit. Ummm yeah no one will care about that unless they watched "Guiding Light." For those who don't know, she is just in one word: FABULOUS. Everyone should go read her book "Changing Shoes." It is my life's guide. Anyway, I have NO idea what happened on the show today except for some of the Destiny/Matthew stuff. So, this type and watch will be blind. Lord help us...mainly Lord help you all who have to read this mess.

Good God...what is this? Mission Impossible? All this hand decoding shit. I'm so sure. The explanation of Todd (thank to Richmond Chandler's recent comments to provide insight) will no doubt become complicated and convoluted...I'm sure. Lord.

Well, my blood is beginning to boil over this Matthew/Des stuff. I cannot mentally handle this mess. SHIT...there's Marty!!!!! Out of the damn blue and she is toting the "chick magnet." Lawd...

Uhhhh....did Natty's bruising go down since Friday even though it's the same scene? Maybe it's my imagination.

LOL...Matthew: "You babysitting or something?" My God Marty is f*@king looney. Hell, just shoot Matthew now. I mean...IF he is going to die. Please just don't make me go through this torture for weeks. Just do it. Ugh...I'm kidding, but you can see I'm that upset about all this mess. However, I heard Matthew MAY not die now. So I'm trying to be optimistic...

Tea looks like sex on a stick. If anything Toad should want to leave the hospital just to get it on with her...

OMG f*@king shoot me! It IS INDEED a Monday. NQS has to grace my damn screen. In an ugly ass baseball uniform no doubt. He can't even have a button up jersey for baseball? What kind of a school is this? OHMYGOD!!!! Now Dayt-en is on? And she has on short ass denim shorts and a shirt that is tied with her midriff showing. OMG OMG OMG! I cannot deal.

Well, this is a change. So Tomas' buttons are buttoned now. So...does this mean that when a male visitor shows up he buttons up his shirt? Yet when a female (including sisters) visitor arrives he leaves them unbuttoned? Hmmm...

I wonder if Roger Howarth speaks this episode?

Please God...PLEASE don't show Inez! Please. I cannot deal. There is too much terribleness on this Monday. I can't handle much more. Seriously. I've had a great day until 10 p.m. Total woof effing WOOF.

I'm sorry but there is just no way Toad can really be Todd. I mean...I just don't see how else RH would fit in the canvas if he isn't indeed the REAL Todd.

I know MH thinks Ted King's beard is too hairy (it is), but I'd jump him. Sorry.

Eh...these Dan-YELLA, Tea, Sean scenes...

One of my lovely commenters said that Natty wouldn't remember...sure enough she won't. Lord have mercy. This will be a mess.

My God Marty's sauce has made it to Angel Square! God help us...and Angels help us! Heavens! LOL...Marty: "OMGosh you're lucky I love your mother! The next time you might not be so luuuucky!" hahahahaha! Marty is out of control and I flove it. Also, can we all agree that Liam is the most well-behaved baby on the planet?! Kid hasn't made a damn noise yet! Awesome sauce! I am dying for a kid like that...a few years from now. Good on Matthew for getting between Marty and Destiny. Very manly. Aw hell, now Brody surfaced.

Sonofabitch. Natty please remember. I mean...she has to soon. I think...

Aaaand, Brody just passed out. He will be at St. Anne's doubt. Who can blame this poor bastard? He hasn't even found out the truth about Liam yet. Oy.

LOL! I think I just peed on myself! John: "You called me alright. Maybe this will left me a message." Natty on the phone: "John, it's Natalie. It's urgent. I need to see you right away." Well...if that message doesn't trigger ANYONE'S memory then I don't know what else would. I mean...anyone who is suffering from short term memory loss could remember what they were trying to disclose by listening to that 3 sentence vmail. Natty just isn't smart. AS IF!!! Jesus, McBain. You're a detective...act like it! Of course she is gonna remember kissing Brody. If anything, the writers always have to show Natty/Brody flashbacks. I mean how many times did we see the sex scene between Natalie and Brody in flashbacks?! Puh-leeze!

Dammit...Matthew is totally NOT a douchebag anymore and is being beyond awesome and totally the kid Bo and Nora raised...largely Nora. However, we all know this will be short-lived. Woof.

If I could magically leap through this tv into Tomas' jail cell, I would. May I just say that for all that he has been through that shirt is still a very bright white. Not dingy at all...

Is Sean channeling John McBain with this all black ensemble?

I was hoping to enjoy these Toad/Tomas scenes but nothing new is really transpiring. I mean...they are DRAGGING this shit out.

At least Natty remembers Liam.

AH....poor Brody!!! I'm sorry. I adore him now and he is gonna spiral downward for sure! "She has my son, John." God Bless. How sad. It's John's son...heartbreaking.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! REALLY?! So 24 minutes in OLTL has to bring in the damn Chlamydia Motel?! Atrosh!!! Plus, Marty's Playhouse had to take its special guest star, Liam "chick magnet" McBain, along for the ride. JUST NO! That baby hasn't had all of his shots yet!!!! Aaaaand, she just said "Mrs. John McBain." Crazytown USA.

Nope. Not discussing this SHITASTIC disaster on the screen right now. I don't want to see Nate showing off his washboard abs and comparing them to James'. I have the Disney Channel if I really want to watch mess like this. Or ABC Family...woof. Even Ross just said this was dumb. Word!

I flove it. "Todd, where the HELL are you?" Tea's such a badass...seriously. She needs to beat Toad's ass. "I feel like I have no idea who he really is." Foreshadowing much?

I'm not gonna get into this Toad/Tomas shit until it starts moving. Still stagnant.


haha...I love Des' and Matt's descriptions of Marty. Lord help us all. I knew it was coming but then Matthew said it: He and Destiny had sex. Jesus.

These NQS and Dayt-en scenes are played in Marty's torture chambers. No doubt.

Dan-YELLA's skirt is cute. Actually, I like her whole little ensemble. Very suitable for her age. I must say I'm glad that Dan-YELLA isn't rushing into sex. Good for her...seriously. More girls need to be like that. Plus, Nate is 35...that would be weird.

Okay we get it...Tomas knows shit about Toad. Move along.

AH! Pick up the "chick magnet" binky but DO NOT give it back to the baby! Dammit, Marty! That bed is nasty as f*@k...literally! Now that binky is going back in the baby's mouth?! No...just no. I've mentioned this a 1,000 times but I love Marty's solilioquies. Speaking of soliloquies, she even said "All's Well That Ends Well." Get it? Anyone? Shakespearean play. Bill Shakespeare floved soliloquies. Yeah...this isn't going over well so I'm moving on...

My God everyone in Llanview will be injured or near death this week, I swear! Brody's bandage looks terrible! I will say that John and Brody are getting along pretty well given the circumstances.

Well, I'll say one thing. All patients in Llanview need to try and look like Clint Buchanan...the most dapper man around. Natty you do need to find Liam! He is getting some disease from the Chlamydia Motel as we speak!

LOL!!!!!! I FLOVE Marty Saybrooke to pieces but when she said she would tell everyone that she found Liam in the snow...well, I think I totally wet my pants! That is the most awesome story EVER! Found him in the snow...LOL.

Snap...Brody is lying to Natty. Hmmm.

OMG how awkward is this Natty/Des/Sean convo?!?!?! Wow...Destiny said it didn't mean anything. Is my heart a block of ice that I don't care that it meant something to Matthew? Yes, it is.

I love when Tea spouts off Spanish! Keep it coming!!! God, these scenes are short! Tomas and Toad are gonna team up?! Okay now I'm a bit intrigued. Of course, the moment I'm intrigued Toad leaves. Dammit to hell! I can't catch a break!

REALLY?! Water guns in the house?! Not even a apartment! Plus, Dan-YELLA walking in on Dayt-en and Nate is basically the same thing Starr did. Lemme tell helluva interesting story. Barf Barf Woof.

Whannn! Matthew has been being sweet and he is gonna get hurt! =( I cannot deal.

John McBain...way to be a good guy and stick with Brody and go get Liam. Oh good God...Ross just lifted his head up from poker to say "Go get 'em, John!" I feel the same way...shameful.

So you need that tape, Marty? How about going to get Liam a new binky? His is dirty...

Damn...Toad's bed is SMALL! How uncomfortable! Tea needs to BEAT HIS ASS!!!! Like yesterday...

So is Toad gonna be with Tomas now? Yes? SNAP! So he and Tomas are gonna be together. Toad is def hiding something and it has to do with Roger Howarth's Todd...awesomeness.

OMGEEZUS! I mean...they are gonna drag this Todd shit out for eons and God knows we don't have that long! UGH! Talk already! I have more fun with Barbies...seriously.

Omigod if I don't see Bo and Nora TOGETHER by Wednesday then I'm gonna lose my shit...I'm serious! Ross will be a witness...or victim!

Whew! I'm exhausted like no other and must awaken early! See you kiddies tomorrow evening!



  1. I feel like the fine folks in the wardrobe department at OLTL have raided my closet. Today, Marty was carrying around my Lucky Brand purse. After I noticed it, I was so caught up in an "I can't believe Marty is carrying a Lucky purse/maybe I am an old lady for having the same purse as Marty" argument that I missed most of the rest of the episode. RH of New Jersey was highly entertaining in that trashy sort of way though...

  2. Matthew is so much like Bo, that was what I kept thinking yesterday. But I am to sad to think about what is supposable going to happen with him, that I couldn't really care. And BOO on the sex, that means one thing if they really do kill him.

    NQS, EWWW! I know I am suppose to think he hot without his shirt, but all I want to do is spew. I hate NQS with ever fiber of my body, especially after I saw the preview of him hitting Matthew. I want Nate gone.

  3. Marty's descent into madness has apparently endowed her with soothsayer abilities: first she told Brody he would learn what it was like to lose everything and everyone and then she told Matthew "next time you won't be so lucky." Makes me want to pay closer attention to the crazy guy who mumbles outside my grocery store.
    And how fab was that Christmas tale she made up?!!
    Ah John, nice to see you using Brody's first name again and making it about someone else other than yourself. Of course, this will all play out tragically for the Brodster. Still hoping he and Messica meet up over oatmeal at St Anne's commissary and get back together.
    And fingers crossed Nat calls John out for lying to her about Liam. Of course, it'll be hard for her to say "Don't ever lie to me about Liam" with a straight face, but still.....
    Monday was FIRST time Tomas intrigued me. I read somewhere that somebody we all think is dead will come back. Could it be Eli? is Tomas Eli? That would get Cole released from prison. But I don't want Tea to lose her brother.....
    And I felt a twinge of sadness in all of Matthew's scenes - especially when he and John fist-bumped. Besides Destiny, the other teens can all disappear - they bring nothing.

  4. I just found your blog and I spent a hysterical afternoon reading! I just love your style, and you have a lot of talent. I'm laughing at scenes I found boring or tedious. I read what you said and went back and watched and I was just LMAO!

    Crazy Marty is cracking me up too and the Chlamydia hotel? I just love that name! When did that rat hole become the hot spot in Llanview? ITA there are way too many people in the hospital.

    Nate is 35?! I did a spit take. At least I'm prepared now not to drink and read at the same time.

    ITA that Clint is always one fine dapper man. Here's hoping they keep him looking badass til they wheel him into surgery.

    Thank you for making this last year of OLTL so much more fun. Write on!

  5. Ooookay...trying to respond to this first set on my lunch break at work. It's almost 3 p.m. Woof.

    @Katie haha AS IF you are an old lady! The fine folks of the OLTL wardrobe department have gotten better, i.e. letting Nora dress herself. However, they have Dayt-en in stripper clothes. Woof! so you were so distraught you missed the rest of the episode? Well, you sure as hell didn't miss much. Snap! Housewives of NJ! What a shitshow that was! I swear I only like Caroline! Plus they said Southerners do everything better. I floved that. ;)

    @mojomiller You're right. He is very much like Bo. It shows too that he is so protective of Nora. UGH on the sex!!! Barf barf woof! I'm praying they don't kill him and don't make Destiny pregnant. I couldn't handle that mess. hatred knows NO BOUNDS for NQS!!! UGH! I don't want to see him shirtless. I'm all about sex appeal but ummm no...just NO!

    @Anonymous hahahaha!!!! Pay closer attention to the guy who mumbles at the grocery it! Wait have you ever seen "Office Space?" It's like Milton on that movie. I've said this so many times before but I flove Marty's cray cray ass...EVEN IF it's character assassination! About Tomas...I know NOTHING about what might happen with that. I haven't read any spoilers on it. I just know I want to jump a jail cell or wherever. I can't explain my obsession with his looks, because I normally don't like people like that. Ummm Amen about the teens sista! I only want Matthew around. Adore him. I am praying that they don't kill him. I can't deal with BN losing their only kid and especially Bo losing another soon. Woof.

    @Valerie Your post made my day! Seriously. I read it to Ross and said how sweet it did he. :) I'm always so entertained when people say they "found" my blog. I'm assuming Google or Facebook since I have no other way of people knowing about it. I'm glad you find some of my nonsense humorous! It really is just the crap that instantly comes to my head and I just write it. Gosh...Nate being 35. I won't let that go! I think he is really 20ish or so but he look so much older than Dan-YELLA and there is NO DAMN WAY Inez is mother to those 3 grown ass boys...woof. I want to jump Clint and Bo...flove them. He looked great on Wednesday's episode so I'm sure they will keep Clint looking Dapper despite the fact he is "dying." So glad you enjoyed it and thanks again, dear!