Sunday, May 8, 2011

I'll Have Friday's Episode and Two Excedrin Migraine, Please.

Marty: "Well, John and I are back together and stronger than ever. Also, Mary-Ella told me she would prefer watching us just stare at each other than watch the rest of this shit show today."

Lord...two posts in one day! I thought I would have done it earlier, but I had to watch "The Good Wife" from last week before my DVR deleted it. Can't have that. Ok, I have a lot to do before I get up at the crack of dawn so let's go on and do this. Hopefully there will be no Blogger mishaps, because God knows my ass can't mentally handle another screw-up! WOOF!

Friday, May 6th

Sidenote: I hate how the promos are for shit that doesn't happen until the following week. Annoying!

OMG I want to jump Ted King! Right there! On that damn table at the LPD...I do NOT care at this point. I have no shame...

Todd is drinking out of a juicebox...cute. Dan-YELLA and Starr. I have a feeling I am not gonna like this episode already and I'm just a minute into the show. DAMMIT TO HELL! I need ONE of the fab five on...just one for crying out loud! That's right Starr. Nate is REALLY onto something about Tomas. How smart is he?! OMG...I bet that bastard wins at "Clue" EVERY SINGLE TIME he plays. He is THAT good. Woof!

NOOOOOO!!!!! Karma Gods, 4. Mary-Ella, 0. NQS!!!??? Why?! Now Dayt-en and James. Kill me. How about I just turn this shit off?!

Aaaaaand, the Karma Gods just did the final coup de grace (can't get my "a" to have the correct symbol) by throwing NuJack's ass on my screen. Times--have y'all seen his ass on the Ringpop commercial?! Atrosh! I f*@king quit and am doing a drive by because this shit is flippin' ridiculous and I feel defeated. Sonofabitch. It'll be longer than my normal drive-bys though...fret not.

Minuteman Version of Friday's Shitfest
1. Blair is sex on a damn stick and I'm pretty sure that I'd do her.
2. Aaaaaand, thank God I decided on a drive-by because Gigi's mop is on.
3. Dr. Buhari's secretary needs to find a pair of scissors and cut that mop.
4. I'm so damn thankful for Natalie being on this episode.
5. Marty is like a f*@king superhero in my eyes, because only she can swoop in and save this mess on my tv. Bless this crazy bitch.
6. I'm loathing these Dany-YELLA and Starr hospital scenes, because I am livid there are no vets on but there are a shit-ton of teens. They are good little actresses though...
7. Deanna isn't a better suitcase packer than Aubs, but this bitch is given the new Mrs. B a run for her money.
8. I want to bludgeon Nate with a slab of ribs from "The Swollen Sow."
9. I hate that the teens are being shoved down our throats. We only have until January, so I need some of them to vamoose!

TIME OUT: Brief break to say that Natalie and Marty will rock. Otherwise this episode totally blows major ass and I want to stop typing. Out of love and sacrifice I'm not.

10. Ted King's attractiveness distracts the hell out of me. He's not even my type, but I am enamored with this man!
11. Marty is so convincing as CRAY CRAY! I mean, this bitch really thinks she and John are an item.
12. I'm upset Shane logged out of his paper on "Central Asia" since I was genuinely interested.
13. Totally thought the last name of one of those kids commenting on Shane's MyFace was Daniel F*@k instead of Daniel Flick.
14. Toad needs to straighten out NuJack like yesterday. Also, Toad's near death experience has cause him to grow a huge heart and I am kinda liking him this episode. LORD HAVE MERCY!!!
15. Aaaaand, Deanna got that cute purple cami and cardigan from where? Logan's? Bitch please.
16. Line of the Day: "Tomas, unless you're a very bad piano player I don't think the CIA is gonna put an innocent musician on the watch list." LOL
17. Tea needs to beat Tomas' ass until he bleeds the truth!
18. Marty and Natalie are delish. Marty's marinade is catnip and Natalie is lapping it up.
19. There is no question...I'd DEF do Blair.
20. I REALLY need Tomas and Tea to NOT be siblings.
21. I could have just watched Marty/John/Natalie for the whole hour. Dammit! Too short of scenes!
22. Someone please tell Dr. Buhari that MyFace is addicting so that's why Shane checked it.
23. Did I mention that I need Tomas and Tea to not be siblings so they can have sex?
24. That's it...I will have to fly to Llanview and cut Dr. Buhari's secretary's hair.
25. I just wanted to see Natalie/Marty/John this episode. I can't catch a damn break.
26. I need to go mop. Marty's sauce dripped all over my damn floor.
27. Overall this episode was migraine inducing.

AH! Lord have mercy. Ok...promise I am gonna respond to comments in the morning! Either before work...OR, I'll sneakily type at work. I have to go do some stuff before bed.

Adore all you lovely and hilarious readers. Seriously.



  1. Hey Mija...You did a great job considering there wasn't that much to work with.....You are right, we only have til January, so the writers better start stepping up their game....were you able to get the crazy sauce off the floor...? Its left a terrible stain on my carpet, but I'm leaving it there until Marty goes back to St Anns....why get the carpet doctors in here more than once !Anyhow, I always enjoy your posts, so don't be discouraged, keep on keepin' on !!!! Luv, Krisi <3

  2. @Krisi Thanks m'am! It is HARD to do a post when the show isn't that great. No...the crazy sauce stained the hardwood floor which sucks since we are moving out at the end of the month!!! Thanks for the encouragement! So glad you like 'em. Blogger was AWFUL this weekend...ah!

  3. Wild that in the Marty/Natalie/John scenes, John seemed to be the weakest link. And why can't John share at least a little of his suspicions with Natalie? She is, after all, the intended victim, according to Dr. Buhari. Why is it ok to tell useless needy Kelly but not the one Marty is actually after?!!

    PLEASE GOD let John finally get smacked in the face with all his bad decisions/choices and other selfish behavior this week!!!

  4. ME,

    Ted King was the highlight for me on Friday, too. Here's hoping today is better.

  5. Can someone explain to me what is so wonderful about John McBain? The black clothes? The gum chewing? His inability to say I love you? His inability to commit? His need to dump someone so he can go save the next damsel in distress? Smart and strong women are turned in doormats for this man, and I just don't understand.

    Thanks for all your hard work of getting these posted!

  6. @anonymous You know I thought John might share his suspicions as well! I, too, am confused with why he hasn't said anything. Not that he always shares his feelings but this is more along the lines with detective stuff. Hmmm. I'm sorry. Please don't bludgeon me, but I like John and Kelly. =/ I do have a feeling John will feel badly for his actions once something happens to Natalie.

    @Kendall Ummm I want to attack this man! I scream that at the tv every time he comes on. And, hello his shirt was unbuttoned a bit! Ross is like "ME you are crazy! You like him and all old people!" ha!

    @Mojomiller ha! There is nothing wonderful. See, Ross didn't start watching with me until the end of 2009 (sidenote: I went on and on for years about how fab BN were and then he started watching around December of 2009 then they weren't on. Woof! He was like "ummm they can't be that great, ME, if they are NEVER on." I can't win.) and he LOVES John McBain! I now enjoy the whispers and dark clothing and blank stares because I love to make fun of him. You're right...he has no communication skills. Ross just has me enjoying him. Lord help me! You're welcome for the work. So sorry it took so long...ugh!

  7. "I'm upset Shane logged out of his paper on "Central Asia" since I was genuinely interested." Best laugh of the entire post. Of course, you might not have been interested if the show had been more fun to watch.

  8. @Christie OMG...I WAS genuinely interested in that! haha! I terrible was the show Friday?! Seriously. That paper was DEF the highlight!