Marty: "Well, John and I are back together and stronger than ever. Also, Mary-Ella told me she would prefer watching us just stare at each other than watch the rest of this shit show today."
Lord...two posts in one day! I thought I would have done it earlier, but I had to watch "The Good Wife" from last week before my DVR deleted it. Can't have that. Ok, I have a lot to do before I get up at the crack of dawn so let's go on and do this. Hopefully there will be no Blogger mishaps, because God knows my ass can't mentally handle another screw-up! WOOF!
Friday, May 6th
Sidenote: I hate how the promos are for shit that doesn't happen until the following week. Annoying!
OMG I want to jump Ted King! Right there! On that damn table at the LPD...I do NOT care at this point. I have no shame...
Todd is drinking out of a juicebox...cute.
Lawd...now Dan-YELLA and Starr. I have a feeling I am not gonna like this episode already and I'm just a minute into the show. DAMMIT TO HELL! I need ONE of the fab five on...just one for crying out loud! That's right Starr. Nate is REALLY onto something about Tomas. How smart is he?! OMG...I bet that bastard wins at "Clue" EVERY SINGLE TIME he plays. He is THAT good. Woof!
NOOOOOO!!!!! Karma Gods, 4. Mary-Ella, 0. NQS!!!??? Why?! Now Dayt-en and James. Kill me. How about I just turn this shit off?!
Aaaaaand, the Karma Gods just did the final coup de grace (can't get my "a" to have the correct symbol) by throwing NuJack's ass on my screen. Times--have y'all seen his ass on the Ringpop commercial?! Atrosh! I f*@king quit and am doing a drive by because this shit is flippin' ridiculous and I feel defeated. Sonofabitch. It'll be longer than my normal drive-bys though...fret not.
Minuteman Version of Friday's Shitfest
1. Blair is sex on a damn stick and I'm pretty sure that I'd do her.
2. Aaaaaand, thank God I decided on a drive-by because Gigi's mop is on.
3. Dr. Buhari's secretary needs to find a pair of scissors and cut that mop.
4. I'm so damn thankful for Natalie being on this episode.
5. Marty is like a f*@king superhero in my eyes, because only she can swoop in and save this mess on my tv. Bless this crazy bitch.
6. I'm loathing these Dany-YELLA and Starr hospital scenes, because I am livid there are no vets on but there are a shit-ton of teens. They are good little actresses though...
7. Deanna isn't a better suitcase packer than Aubs, but this bitch is given the new Mrs. B a run for her money.
8. I want to bludgeon Nate with a slab of ribs from "The Swollen Sow."
9. I hate that the teens are being shoved down our throats. We only have until January, so I need some of them to vamoose!
TIME OUT: Brief break to say that Natalie and Marty will rock. Otherwise this episode totally blows major ass and I want to stop typing. Out of love and sacrifice I'm not.
10. Ted King's attractiveness distracts the hell out of me. He's not even my type, but I am enamored with this man!
11. Marty is so convincing as CRAY CRAY! I mean, this bitch really thinks she and John are an item.
12. I'm upset Shane logged out of his paper on "Central Asia" since I was genuinely interested.
13. Totally thought the last name of one of those kids commenting on Shane's MyFace was Daniel F*@k instead of Daniel Flick.
14. Toad needs to straighten out NuJack like yesterday. Also, Toad's near death experience has cause him to grow a huge heart and I am kinda liking him this episode. LORD HAVE MERCY!!!
15. Aaaaand, Deanna got that cute purple cami and cardigan from where? Logan's? Bitch please.
16. Line of the Day: "Tomas, unless you're a very bad piano player I don't think the CIA is gonna put an innocent musician on the watch list." LOL
17. Tea needs to beat Tomas' ass until he bleeds the truth!
18. Marty and Natalie are delish. Marty's marinade is catnip and Natalie is lapping it up.
19. There is no question...I'd DEF do Blair.
20. I REALLY need Tomas and Tea to NOT be siblings.
21. I could have just watched Marty/John/Natalie for the whole hour. Dammit! Too short of scenes!
22. Someone please tell Dr. Buhari that MyFace is addicting so that's why Shane checked it.
23. Did I mention that I need Tomas and Tea to not be siblings so they can have sex?
24. That's it...I will have to fly to Llanview and cut Dr. Buhari's secretary's hair.
25. I just wanted to see Natalie/Marty/John this episode. I can't catch a damn break.
26. I need to go mop. Marty's sauce dripped all over my damn floor.
27. Overall this episode was migraine inducing.
AH! Lord have mercy. Ok...promise I am gonna respond to comments in the morning! Either before work...OR, I'll sneakily type at work. I have to go do some stuff before bed.
Adore all you lovely and hilarious readers. Seriously.