Sunday, May 29, 2011

Dark Days

OMG will these two EVER be this happy again? Sweet Lord!

Happy Sunday Funday! Whew...pooped from all this packing, but I'm squeezing in a blog post about Friday's episode. Oh and MH is most definitely posting for me on Tuesday and possibly Wednesday. Thank God for her adorable and generous self! Anyway, our cable/internet/dvr won't be hooked up Tuesday and we are TRYING desperately to get it by Wednesday. Ross knows how dire the situation is since...ummm hello?! Bo and Nora are on practically everyday next week and OF COURSE we would be moving THIS week. Dammit! Anyway, this might be my last post until Wednesday or Thursday...I'm upset! :( I can always respond to comments and stuff from work. Of course, I'll be able to correspond from home until Tuesday. Everyone pray my internet/cable/dvr is hooked up quickly! I'll miss all of you until then and I mean that!!!!!

Friday, May 27th

OMIGOD!!! Is anyone else so damn tired of seeing RH in the white, cloud-like ensemble and those shitastic Keds?! I'm also totally tired of the Llanview Airport background. Woof Woof! ain't your first rodeo in the sex department. Just do it.

I don't understand why this baby thing is such a big deal? I mean...why can't she just tell Vimal the truth? I know she lied and all but I am just confused.

Score! Bo and Nora...thank you God! Now I just need their scenes to be longer than 2 damn seconds. They look fabulous in this episode by the way...seriously. They are so good looking. Word.

F*@K!!!!!!!!!!!! NQS and Dayt-en...shooooooot me! Packing all holiday weekend for a move...I can handle. Seeing NQS and Dayt-en together....beat the shit out of me please.

I'm so damn outdone with effing Mes at this point. Cannot effing deal with her or that purple pleather jacket. Barf Barf Woof.

I will beat this to death but Bo and Nora look super fabulous this episode. Damn! Oh, not to mention I TOTALLY feel their pain about Matthew. They are so damn believable it's not even funny. FABU!

LOL...there is someone hiding out in my pool house. I FLOVE that Marty's Playhouse is being taped in Toad's pool house. Also, I'm sure Marty left a little crazy sauce on the floor. I'd love for Tea's sharp, suspicious ass to spot it!

Aaaaaaand, I'd do Blair Cramer. Totally! She is 50 for God's sake! Jesus H. Christ she looks like sex on a stick!!!!

Beyond effing bored with these Todd scenes like no other. Pretty sure anything on public television is more entertaining than this nonsense. I mean...I don't even want to discuss this shit. I must say I'm totally disappointed with all this RH nonsense. He needs to start interacting with peeps in Llanview stat.

How effing hideous is that bra that Blair has on? STOP IT!!!!! I know she didn't?! Oh yes she did! She effing sang!!!! Ross and I just peeeeeeeeeed on ourselves! My God she has to sing at every mother f*@king opportunity she gets! Just.No.

Oh Hells Yes!!!! Liam's toy is under the couch! LOL...Ross thought that Marty was hiding under the couch! hahahahaha! How much better would it be if Marty's crazy ass was under that couch?! Damn.'re really nervous? I just don't buy it. James' cheesy lines are KILLING ME! KILLING ME I TELL YOU! I'll be dead by the time this post is over.

That sundae looks delish and I don't even like ice cream. Times...I flove how EVEYRONE and their mom literally talks about Matthew killing Eddie ALOUD and IN PUBLIC! LOL. Not to mention...Bo, Nora and Matthew were practically screaming it the other day. I need Mestiny to shut the f*@k up like 2 years ago...literally. Oh, and that's great for kids to hear: Matthew was upset so they had sex. Lemme tell is a problem solver. Stupid as hell, I tell you!

NQS just threw the laptop on the coffee table. Cool. Aren't you poor jackass? Seriously, take care of your stuff! You might not be able to get another one. Do I sound bitter? Yes. It's because I am and I'm tired of seeing him.

Yes...more Bo and Nora fabulousness. Poor babies need a hug! Ross even made the comment about how much tragedy they have had to deal with in the past year! I mean...they were apart for 10 years...give 'em some happiness will ya? I know soaps need drama and all but can't they be happy as a couple and still have storyline? Just sayin'. Aaaaaaaand, my heart just broke in about a million pieces when Bo told Nora the nurse said nothing useful. Jesus Christ. His sad eyes made my cry! They are playing their reactions so perfectly. I swear I could watch these two fold laundry and say nothing and be perfectly entertained.

I don't understand why Rama just can't tell Vimal. I'm sorry but I just can't wrap my mind around it.

LOL! Tea wants to go to the pool house! OF COURSE she wants to go night...and we have never seen her do it before. I'd love to see her walk-in on Marty eating a tv dinner and watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey in that pool house...awesome town!

Does anybody remember if Starr has a kid or not? Yeah, I can't recall either. FAIL in the mothering department, Starr! FAIL.

I flove how Bo and Nora touch constantly. Superbly awesome in every way and why they are the shit and uber believable. This hospital is bigger than I thought! Damn! I'm tempted to fly to Llanview on my broom and beat Des with a wine Marty Saybrooke fasion of course.I'm sorry but I don't buy Matthew REALLY liking Mes. OMG OMG OMG...may I just leap through the tv and hug Nora?! When Mes said she didn't see Matthew fall or hit his head and Nora did that facial expression well I cried. Sorry...I'm a big ole douche. OMG and now she started to cry. I cannot deal! I can't handle it when Vicki cries let along my favorite character. Lord have mercy!

I need Dayt-en to get a phonetics coach stat. I also need Joe Pesci to fly to Llanview and take out NQS in true "Goodfellas" style. NQS' ass deserves a painful departure...sorry.

May I just say that Bo and Nora are saving this episode for me? Otherwise this whole thing sucks.

Sooooo RH is in this whole white outfit and all....ok. What about when he needed to GO to the bathroom? I mean...he has been catatonic for 8 years? Yes. I'm so confused by how this works. Maybe Dr. Levin's intelligent ass could tell me...

Every damn time someone says "make love" on this show Ross laughs. Should I be worried? LAWD...a "Sexual Healing" reference? Sweet Lord I'm glad Marvin Gaye isn't around to hear this nonsense. Aaaaaaand then Todd said "Oh, I'm up." REALLY?! REALLY?! In my best Nora voice. Wait...what? "Why don't you go upstairs and get yourself ready and I'll get us some tequila." LOL...what a smooth talker that Toad/Walker.

I mean...I'm sorry. Tomas and Blair should have ripped each other's clothes off at this point and have already been going at it. This just sitting there kissing while Tomas is fully clothed just ain't believable. Word!

I'm PEEEEEEEING on myself! PEEING!! I'm sooooooooooooo f*@king sure ADDIE EFFING CRAMER just called Starr before she was about to spread her legs and then HOPE (y'all remember her?) got on the phone to talk to Starr!!! My ass! And, since when did Hope start talking? I missed this...

Again, I still don't understand...Rama tell him the truth, girlfriend!!!! DAYUM! I assure you that taking a play from the Nora Buchanan handbook (when Nora was NOT acting herself! victim of horrible writing!) and lie about being pregnant out of guilt. Just totally dumb, Rama.

I'm so effing distracted by that damn purple pleather jacket Mestastico has on.

Snap! A Bo and Nora finger sex close-up! We haven't seen that since 2009...lord have mercy! Thank you writers! Bo is gonna figure all this shit out, yo. Oh and when he does figure shit out I hope he beats Nate...and he remembers how lame he was for a few months when he was helping Inez and feeling sorry for her and ignoring Nora's concerns! This family has caused you nothing but problems, Bo darling. I assure you!

Look I don't want Nate emailing any tips, but thank you God he wants to send that shit to Phyllis Rose instead of Bronco Morales. I cannot deal with that bitch. Of course, we won't be seeing Wendy Williams again to play Phyllis I'm sure but at least it ain't Bronco. Word!

I'm sorry but Blair should have ripped Tomas' clothing off at this point. I would have leaped on his ass the minute the door was shut. Oh, and I'm drooling watching Blair. KDP has it goin' on! I'm as heterosexual as they come and I'd do her...for shizzle. Dammit Blair don't drink OUT of the wine bottle. Just no...

I'm about to sip MY wine now and not watch these RH scenes. He is like a crazed toddler in a high chair. I cannot deal.

Starr is now the mother of the year for not spreading her legs and for going to check on Hope for the first time in about 1 year. She is what the girls on "Teen Mom" need to strive to be like...MY ASS! Those trashy bitches on "Teen Mom" are probably better parents than this girl. Lord have mercy!

Dan-YELLA...slap Dayt-en please!!!! You totally should. Oh...and ummm where is Inez? I don't give a shit but I'm assuming she has a job? Maybe as a stripper? She could earn such a good living if she did that...seriously.

Of course, Mestiny is gonna invade this Bo and Nora goodness. Woof. Aaaaaaaaand, I just wet my pants thanks to Nora's awesome reaction when Destiny said she and Matthew had gotten as close as two people can get...peeing! Ummmm this ain't the time girlfriend. Actually, you should never spill some secret like that to parents but now is DEF not the time. Bo and Nora don't need to hear this shit. Bo, on the other hand, looks sweet and adorable and open to hearing whatever.

OMG for a minute there I thought Blair was watching porn!!! That music was sooooooo porn music! Seriously.'re smart as a whip so be suspicious! Snap! Toad gave Tomas a gun? No doubt to open fire on Marty's Playhouse. I am upset by this... =(

Rama, ask Nora...this lying will backfire. So will Christian knock her up? Hmmm.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I pray to God that Doris Day does NOT watch OLTL. This is so insulting. "Pillow Talk" is one of my favorite movies and now OLTL is gonna do that split screen with James and effin' Starr?! KILL ME!! No one insults Doris Day like this!!! Egregious!Rock Hudson and Doris Day did this better...word yo!

Lord...poor Tea. She is pouring her little lawyerly heart out to Toad and hell...he ain't gonna be Todd. Poor baby.

I've never seen "Eat, Pray, Love" but I didn't know it was sad. Blair is making me think it is. Almost as sad as how stupid she is with men...

REALLY?!?! From now on every time I say that, it will be in my Nora voice. Dayt-en just pulled NQS to the side to talk to him OUT LOUD and Dan-YELLA didn't hear ANY of it!? PUH-LEEZE!!!! Oh really? You think it was your fault, NQS? Jackass.

It's a good thing Mestiny's phone rang. She cannot tell BN that she and Matthew thank you. Bo is so damn doting and fabulous. Everyone needs a Bo. And a kiss! Sweet lord a great day! They are THE SHIT!

I laughed during RH's last scene. He is like a baby in a high chair that is hungry or trying to cry for a parent. Total woof.

Whew! Okay...I'll see y'all soon. I'll check in soon. I'll respond to comments tomorrow!

Love you all and I MEAN IT! Thanks so much for all your praise and hilarious comments!



  1. I love you! I just simply adore your posts. I know I rarely...if ever post a comment. But I effing LOVE this post. I am a HUGE Bo fan. Huge. And this post made my drunk-ass night. I laughed hard.

  2. @Missy well I just love you, too! I'm drinking wine so on my way to getting drunk. Like you, I FLURVE Bo Buchanan...sweet Lord!!! I could talk about his fabulousness for days! I'm so glad you liked this post. Thanks for the comment darling! Have a lovely remaining holiday weekend! Cheers! ;)

  3. Mija!

    They let us know in the very beginning that Rama isn't too bright. She tells her *best friend* who she KNOWS is DATING her husband's bosses son, that her husband has committed a felony on said bosses behalf.

    I can only tolerate the NQS scenes because I hope to they lead to his swan song. Take Dayten with you as they have given her no other purpose but to be annoying.

    I am sending a call out for redemption for Blair and Destiny. Blair said either yesterday or today that she barely knew Tomas; yet she is practically begging "to be played like a piano" (lol). As soon a Destiny started talking, I knew too much information was going to be shared... please child; confide in DanYella off-screen; otherwise keep it to yourself.

    How much do you want to bet that when Matthew wakes up (and I am betting he wakes up), that he has no memory of Destiny and is back to being head over heels with Dany (since NQS will be behind bars or on the run)?

  4. @Akesha You're so right about Rama. She has only gotten more stupid by the day. I still want to know how Aubs and Rama know each other. Well, no I don't. We don't have time for that shit. LOL...I'm hoping and praying Nate's swan song is effing asap and he takes Dayt-en with him but her whole damn fam is about to head to town. WOOF! I'm peeeeeeing on myself with your Blair and Mes shit! Played like a piano...ha! Blair will spread her legs for anything I swear! I can't deal with Blair's slutiness (although I flurve her body) or Mestiny's terribleness. OOOOOOHHHHH good idea about the whole Matthew thing! Oh, I totally think he will wake up. He won't be Clint's heart way. I am fine with him being in love with Dan-YELLA again. Totally okay with it. Actually, I'm hoping for that now so thank you for giving us this awesome idea!!!! xx

  5. My room in hell will probably be downgraded to a room in the Minute Man for saying this but the only thing I noticed besides Bo and Nora was that Starr has cankles.

  6. @katie aaaand I just read aloud what you wrote to Ross and, as usual, we laughed out loud. I will now go back and look at Starr's cankles!! I'm so glad I have you for these astute and awesome ass observations...seriously! Two thumbs up! ;)

  7. @Katie oh, and p.s., our asses will be sharing a bunk bed at the MInuteman while we enjoy our stay in hell. The things that come out of my mouth about this show are just criminal. Lord.

  8. I swear I MUST be waking the neigbors with all my laughing!! It's 1:00am and I keep freaken out my dog with my loud mouth. Blair HAS to wear that kind of bra or they'll fall out. Her boobs are HUMONGOUS!!! Did you know her contract specifies she HAS to sing twice a year? Yup... I guess she got that met last week. I laughed SO HARD as she was crying, but the movie she was desribing could have been any JR movie since it was so vaguely described... I don't know... But when these actors over exaggerate emotions (i.e. crying and Tess's actions) I lose it. I just totally would pee on myself. It's so funny...
    I kept laughing at your Destiny comments. Seriously, she can wear that purple eye shadow withOUT the dang jacket (Woof back at you!)
    Oh!! And SERIOUSLY I was like, my ass!! JUst cause Daniella was on the phone doesn't mean she can't hear them 3.75 feet away talking. Holy crap! I eavesdrop on other people's conversations while I am in my own on a phone so I know for DANG sure she heard them. Ugh, Nate isn't good looking... and he's too old. Bleh!
    I looked it up and it doesn't seem that long ago (but think of when Marcie was last on) but it was. Hope was born in November of 2008 so she's definitely old enough to cry out to momma and hear it'll be okay... She'll be 3 this year, or by the time the show ends (pray to God it won't) she'll be 14 with SORAS!!
    Last thing... is there a reason why you refer to TSJ as Toad? I mean, I know that he's not Todd (as I would assume by RH screaming out he's Todd) but why Toad? Why not Tadd? haha... Thanks!!
    You made me laugh so hard, AGAIN, and I appreciate it. Adios. Have a good rest of the time movin'

  9. This blog might be all that gets me through this Matthew story. My poor Bo and Nora. Nate needs a body bag. He's unnecessary and has been from day one. Destiny needs to exit my Bo and Nora story stat. I can't handle her immature self and he constant blabbing anymore. Just can't take it. She really brought down the Bo and Nora perfection once she entered the scenes. I totally want Matthew back with Dani and I don't care what the writers have to do. Not a fan of Dani but I simply do not believe for a minute that Matthew would be head over heels in love with this loud, bossy know it all. The actress in over her head with the intensity of this storyline IMO.

  10. I about died when I read that you want to beat Destiny with a wine bottle! She was so weak with Bo and Nora, I hope she isn't around them much, they need keep her in a separate part of the hospital during this story, no more dragging down what should be powerful scenes!
    Great blog for this episode, really captured the essence of the show or should I say the lack of essence to this episode.
    I was also watching those RH scene confused on what they were trying to make me feel, so I just laughed. What have they done to this man.
    Now I think I am going to go watch Bo and Nora have hand sex!

  11. Anytime Bo and Nora go MIA onscreen, I just pull up one of your posts like today's and it does the trick. Hearing you ohh and ahh about them tides me over. This one will be a particular favorite. Thanks! Love the "I swear I could watch these two fold laundry and say nothing and be perfectly entertained." It is just so true. And yes, everyone does need a Bo.


  12. I'm drive by commenting quickly from work since I won't have internet at my new place this evening!!!

    @Jen Hullman Lord have mercy I hope you didn't wake the neighbors! I swear I'm not that funny! I WISH! Oh KDP has THE BEST boobs and body, I swear! However, that bra was a bit too bejeweled for my taste...yuck. You're right about Hope! It's just when Hannah O'Connor kidnapped Starr, James and Hope the child hardly said shit! LOL. Toad? I have no damn clue. It just popped in my head and I went with most silly things I think of! Thanks for the compliments back posting tomorrow! AH!

    @Anonymous OMG this whole B/N/M thing is killing me but I do love the superb acting! OMG! MH and I were saying that we totally want Matt and Dan-YELLA back together, too! He and Mes ain't believable. Oh and usually vets can make the younger actors perform better, but she could NOT hold her own with Bo and Nora this episode...not at all! Huge woof.

    @MojoMiller haha well I STILL want to beat her with a wine bottle! I'm so upset I can't see today's episode on tv, p.s. :( Anyway, I effing hate she has to be all up in BN's grill during this hospital mess...WOOF! Thanks for the comments darling. I could brag about BN all damn day! Oh and may I also say that pinky/finger sex is AWESOME! Oh, and I hate the RH scenes. Ridic!

    @Christie Thanks you sweet thing. I'm so glad you liked it! I am so biased so I try to keep my ooohing and ahhhing to a minimum but they deserve it! I could watch them do anything boring and be entertained. Oh...every woman in this life deserves a Bo. For shizzle!!!

    Ok everyone...I'll be back posting tomorrow. Yay!

  13. Oh and sorry my comments were so rushed...inundated with work! Boo! :(

  14. ok-it's Tuesday evening and I'm ill from watching some of this--Ford was BULLIED as a youth????--what won't they do to try and redeem this child rapist (yes child because Jess thought she was 17)
    Destiny GET AWAY FROM BO AND NORA RIGHT NOW!!! Her face in the background of them talking to the Dr?? WTF--her crying over him--that's Nora's job!! I'm sorry but she is a bad actress and a stupid character--AND at the end when the dr is again talking to the parents the main scene is Danyella and Mes at the door?? I swear they are trying to make me hate this show!!

    Thank goodness for Clint today!!

  15. @rac OMG I haven't really seen Tuesday's and won't until I tape the reruns on soapnet this weekend. UGH. I only got to watch a little on my phone. OF COURSE they are gonna say Ford was bullied...OF COURSE! Desperately trying to get us to love him. OMG...Mestiny...cannot handle that ho! She is so atrosh!