Cutter: "Mary-Ella...I'm leaving town! I'm also toting all those random dayplayers and other shitty characters with me since I know you want them out of your hair. Thanks for the favor, doll."
You read Cutter's quote right: I compromised my integrity and self-worth in exchange for all the awful people left on the show to leave. We will see if this works. I did it for all of you, too! Lord! Hell, you know I'm kidding but I can dream can't I? Anyway, this episode was not the best except for Clint/Vicki and even the Todd/Tea/Brody scenes. So...drive-by/maniac shopping post for Wednesday's show. Oh, and where are my manners: GOOD MORNING! It is Thursday! Yay! Again, since it is early excuse my myriad of errors I'm sure to have...
Wednesday, May 25th--Marty's Playhouse Abridged Version of Events (i.e. I'm just going to basically talk like a crazy person and do this drive-by. You know how Marty does nowadays. It's like a tribute to Marty since she is leaving the show.)
1. Well, I'm just beyond intrigued as to who this peeping tom is! I'm typing on the edge of the couch! WOOF!
2. No. OMG. NOOOOO! I cannot deal with this Starr and James shit. I can tell you right now I won't be discussing their scenes except to probably say Starr is a terrible mother. Oh, and I'm sure James spent money for this surprise date since he has it and all. My ass. Oh, and of course he answered the door shirtless since we needed to see that for the millionth time.
3. F*@king take me outside into the alley and take me out Goodfellas style...I swear. I mean...watching Ford tongue the random dayplayer nurse is hell...HELL!!!!
4. THANK YOU GOD!!!!! Please Clint and Vicki save this episode! I know you will since you're both THAT fabulous. Timeout...I love the way Vicki said "demands." She always gives some words a British feel. Faboosh.
5. Let me just say that I hate this episode already and the awesome up to date credits JUST came on...gonna be a long morning.
6. hahahaha...I'm peeing. Between Todd saying Bess is the librarian and Brody saying Bess was the gatekeeper I was laughing. However, the REAL gatekeeper in the mentally unstable world is still Jean Randolph. WORD.
7. And, Vicki is taking control like the head bitch in charge she is!!! Oh, but of course in an ever so graceful and sophisticated way.
8. Sexual technique of an amoeba huh Tess? Hmmm.
9. FACT: Starr is the SECOND worst mother on this show! Kelly gets the blue ribbon but Starr is second.
10. I've yawned twice during these Blair/Tomas scenes so far. WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE: Tomas just told Blair "I want a life with you." WHAT?! Y'all have rolled around in a booth and now...let's play house? Seriously? I mean...this story has moved along at a glacial pace (if that) and now he wants a life with her?! Oh, and of course Blair will fall for it since she will spread her legs for anyone and she is desperate for a man. Where is that Cramer Woman spirit?! Make him work for this Blair! Let's see if she will. I doubt it.
11. Did I mention I hated this episode so far? This post will be horrible and I'm sorry! I can only do so much with what I'm given so sorry you are wasting your time reading this mess!
12. Sweet Lord! There are too many damn flashbacks in this episode! Obviously they need to fill some time!
13. I must say that I love Tea lately since her sassiness is fabulous. Todd's smartass jokes are actually somewhat enjoyable. Aaaaaand, Tea's explanation of this Tess/Bess shit is hilar. I also FLOVE that Marty is getting talked about! I need Marty's Playhouse back! Dammit!!! Where is she?!
14. Oh, I haven't said it yet so let me do the gratuitous statement: Clint is the most handsome dying man ever...STILL. Even though it looks like he is sleeping in a child's bed...still FABU. Aw hell, Cutter actually sounds like guys did in college or high school: "Lucky for you Tess is back and she is a big Cutter fan." Heavens.
15. YESSSSSS!!!!! A "hiding Marty" reference...score. Tea to Todd: "No, you married me because I'm the only woman in town who will put up with you." Preach it sista! That is so true. haha! I'm peeing!!!! I love that Brody thinks Todd is hiding Marty in his house! HILAR!!! I wish I could keep a Marty in my attic...what fun! Oh, and I feel that Todd and Tea are always tied up somehow.
16. May I just say that Capricorn looks like the shittiest/cheesiest club of all time.
17. OH.HELL.NO! Cutter wants the house!? I mean...I hated it when Nora gave it back but at least it was to Clint but for Cutter to have those digs--moat and all--is a travesty. Plus, I need this bastard to flee Llanview like last year. Woof. TIMES! I FLOVE that Vickster is totally defending Clint. Be.Still.My.Heart. She is the shit. Again, Vicki and Clint are such a great team. Thank you Team Vicki and Clint for getting me through typing this blog this morning. xx, ME
18. I've been waiting for months for Starr and James to have sex and I'm just DYING for it to happen. They have so much history and love between one another and that is what I love best about their relationship. WOOF times 5,000!!!!! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!!!! Kill me!!!!
19. I mean...granted I get it: Blair hasn't had any in awhile and Ted King is sex on a damn stick so she wants to get her freak on but....hello?! She and Eli were great in bed together, too. I just don't see how Blair can be so effing stupid. I mean...huge woof and I have nothing more to add. Again, this Cramer Woman spirit is where??? *crickets* Exactly. It must have gotten washed away with all the Delhi Bellies being consumed at Capricorn. Oh, and where is Christian Vega?! Still with Gigi at night class I'm assuming. Good God.
20. Blair and Starr are both horny and ready to go...my God!
21. I don't see how Tea puts up with Toad on a daily basis.
22. I'm dying for this episode to be over already. I mean...I need to watch Meredith Vieira on the "Today" show.
23. OMG...Vicki get out of Capricorn quickly!!!! You stand out like a sore thumb and you are too good to be there! YES! She is TOO GOOD to be there! Go kiss Clint or something...
24. Aaaaand AGAIN...there are too damn many flashbacks this episode. WTF?! Y'all I have nothing to work with today...NOTHING! I'm trying.
25. Please whisk Tess away...I can't mentally handle her being mean to Vicki. Snap! St. Anne's!!! Awesometown! Now the bomb ass Dr. Levin can work his magic...just like he did on Marty! hahaha!
26. Soooooo we can all assume that Starr is paying for a room at The Palace? Right? Or now since James has a damn job he can pay for it? I mean...he is smart with money huh? Future financial planner right there...dipshit.
27. I just wet my pants. Toad to Brody: "Wait a minute...where's Marty? Where's Liam? Did you check the dungeon? I take that as a no." hahahahaha!!!! I kinda wish Todd was indeed keeping Marty and Liam in the dungeon. Oh snap...Toad is right though: Marty is after John's ass! She will resurface again to set up her toys. OMG WAIT...Memorial Day is Monday! I wonder if Marty is still gonna have her BBQ. She is so crazed right now I bet she forgot.
28. I flove that Clint's pic popped up on Cutter's phone about the wire transfer. Oh, and can I say that my heart just broke when Vicki gave Cutter the deed to the house? Awe...and now Vicki just cried out of the blue! Hug her Ford! Someone please hug her!!!
29. EXCUSE ME?! EXCUSE ME?! Did I just hear that correctly? Please tell me it was a mistake!!!! Renee Divine will ONLY let James Ford work on her car?! SHE is the one who hooked James up with the room?! OMIGOD KILL ME!!!! Worst writing ever. I'm beyond upset and now my hatred for James and Starr knows no bounds. Huge woof. I love Renee and she is being used as a reference here. Egregious.
30. LOL...Todd to Tea: "Well be careful 'cause I don't want you to get shanked without me." ha!
31. I wanna hug Brody and just help him. I really do. Poor baby.
32. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marty's Playhouse will obviously resume in Thursday's episode!!! THANK YOU GOD for ending with that scene!
I'd like to thank Clint and Vicki and Todd, Tea, and Brody for getting me through this grueling post. Oh, and total fail with no follow up with the Matthew stuff. I mean REALLY?! REALLY?!
See y'all tonight or tomorrow morning. Oh, and I'll respond to all my comments from work at some point. Thanks so much!
Have a great day!