Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Hit the Road Jack!

Cutter: "Mary-Ella...I'm leaving town! I'm also toting all those random dayplayers and other shitty characters with me since I know you want them out of your hair. Thanks for the favor, doll."

You read Cutter's quote right: I compromised my integrity and self-worth in exchange for all the awful people left on the show to leave. We will see if this works. I did it for all of you, too! Lord! Hell, you know I'm kidding but I can dream can't I? Anyway, this episode was not the best except for Clint/Vicki and even the Todd/Tea/Brody scenes. shopping post for Wednesday's show. Oh, and where are my manners: GOOD MORNING! It is Thursday! Yay! Again, since it is early excuse my myriad of errors I'm sure to have...

Wednesday, May 25th--Marty's Playhouse Abridged Version of Events (i.e. I'm just going to basically talk like a crazy person and do this drive-by. You know how Marty does nowadays. It's like a tribute to Marty since she is leaving the show.)

1. Well, I'm just beyond intrigued as to who this peeping tom is! I'm typing on the edge of the couch! WOOF!
2. No. OMG. NOOOOO! I cannot deal with this Starr and James shit. I can tell you right now I won't be discussing their scenes except to probably say Starr is a terrible mother. Oh, and I'm sure James spent money for this surprise date since he has it and all. My ass. Oh, and of course he answered the door shirtless since we needed to see that for the millionth time.
3. F*@king take me outside into the alley and take me out Goodfellas style...I swear. I mean...watching Ford tongue the random dayplayer nurse is hell...HELL!!!!
4. THANK YOU GOD!!!!! Please Clint and Vicki save this episode! I know you will since you're both THAT fabulous. Timeout...I love the way Vicki said "demands." She always gives some words a British feel. Faboosh.
5. Let me just say that I hate this episode already and the awesome up to date credits JUST came on...gonna be a long morning.
6. hahahaha...I'm peeing. Between Todd saying Bess is the librarian and Brody saying Bess was the gatekeeper I was laughing. However, the REAL gatekeeper in the mentally unstable world is still Jean Randolph. WORD.
7. And, Vicki is taking control like the head bitch in charge she is!!! Oh, but of course in an ever so graceful and sophisticated way.
8. Sexual technique of an amoeba huh Tess? Hmmm.
9. FACT: Starr is the SECOND worst mother on this show! Kelly gets the blue ribbon but Starr is second.
10. I've yawned twice during these Blair/Tomas scenes so far. WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE: Tomas just told Blair "I want a life with you." WHAT?! Y'all have rolled around in a booth and now...let's play house? Seriously? I mean...this story has moved along at a glacial pace (if that) and now he wants a life with her?! Oh, and of course Blair will fall for it since she will spread her legs for anyone and she is desperate for a man. Where is that Cramer Woman spirit?! Make him work for this Blair! Let's see if she will. I doubt it.
11. Did I mention I hated this episode so far? This post will be horrible and I'm sorry! I can only do so much with what I'm given so sorry you are wasting your time reading this mess!
12. Sweet Lord! There are too many damn flashbacks in this episode! Obviously they need to fill some time!
13. I must say that I love Tea lately since her sassiness is fabulous. Todd's smartass jokes are actually somewhat enjoyable. Aaaaaand, Tea's explanation of this Tess/Bess shit is hilar. I also FLOVE that Marty is getting talked about! I need Marty's Playhouse back! Dammit!!! Where is she?!
14. Oh, I haven't said it yet so let me do the gratuitous statement: Clint is the most handsome dying man ever...STILL. Even though it looks like he is sleeping in a child's bed...still FABU. Aw hell, Cutter actually sounds like guys did in college or high school: "Lucky for you Tess is back and she is a big Cutter fan." Heavens.
15. YESSSSSS!!!!! A "hiding Marty" reference...score. Tea to Todd: "No, you married me because I'm the only woman in town who will put up with you." Preach it sista! That is so true. haha! I'm peeing!!!! I love that Brody thinks Todd is hiding Marty in his house! HILAR!!! I wish I could keep a Marty in my attic...what fun! Oh, and I feel that Todd and Tea are always tied up somehow.
16. May I just say that Capricorn looks like the shittiest/cheesiest club of all time.
17. OH.HELL.NO! Cutter wants the house!? I mean...I hated it when Nora gave it back but at least it was to Clint but for Cutter to have those digs--moat and all--is a travesty. Plus, I need this bastard to flee Llanview like last year. Woof. TIMES! I FLOVE that Vickster is totally defending Clint. Be.Still.My.Heart. She is the shit. Again, Vicki and Clint are such a great team. Thank you Team Vicki and Clint for getting me through typing this blog this morning. xx, ME
18. I've been waiting for months for Starr and James to have sex and I'm just DYING for it to happen. They have so much history and love between one another and that is what I love best about their relationship. WOOF times 5,000!!!!! Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!!!! Kill me!!!!
19. I mean...granted I get it: Blair hasn't had any in awhile and Ted King is sex on a damn stick so she wants to get her freak on but....hello?! She and Eli were great in bed together, too. I just don't see how Blair can be so effing stupid. I mean...huge woof and I have nothing more to add. Again, this Cramer Woman spirit is where??? *crickets* Exactly. It must have gotten washed away with all the Delhi Bellies being consumed at Capricorn. Oh, and where is Christian Vega?! Still with Gigi at night class I'm assuming. Good God.
20. Blair and Starr are both horny and ready to God!
21. I don't see how Tea puts up with Toad on a daily basis.
22. I'm dying for this episode to be over already. I mean...I need to watch Meredith Vieira on the "Today" show.
23. OMG...Vicki get out of Capricorn quickly!!!! You stand out like a sore thumb and you are too good to be there! YES! She is TOO GOOD to be there! Go kiss Clint or something...
24. Aaaaand AGAIN...there are too damn many flashbacks this episode. WTF?! Y'all I have nothing to work with today...NOTHING! I'm trying.
25. Please whisk Tess away...I can't mentally handle her being mean to Vicki. Snap! St. Anne's!!! Awesometown! Now the bomb ass Dr. Levin can work his magic...just like he did on Marty! hahaha!
26. Soooooo we can all assume that Starr is paying for a room at The Palace? Right? Or now since James has a damn job he can pay for it? I mean...he is smart with money huh? Future financial planner right there...dipshit.
27. I just wet my pants. Toad to Brody: "Wait a minute...where's Marty? Where's Liam? Did you check the dungeon? I take that as a no." hahahahaha!!!! I kinda wish Todd was indeed keeping Marty and Liam in the dungeon. Oh snap...Toad is right though: Marty is after John's ass! She will resurface again to set up her toys. OMG WAIT...Memorial Day is Monday! I wonder if Marty is still gonna have her BBQ. She is so crazed right now I bet she forgot.
28. I flove that Clint's pic popped up on Cutter's phone about the wire transfer. Oh, and can I say that my heart just broke when Vicki gave Cutter the deed to the house? Awe...and now Vicki just cried out of the blue! Hug her Ford! Someone please hug her!!!
29. EXCUSE ME?! EXCUSE ME?! Did I just hear that correctly? Please tell me it was a mistake!!!! Renee Divine will ONLY let James Ford work on her car?! SHE is the one who hooked James up with the room?! OMIGOD KILL ME!!!! Worst writing ever. I'm beyond upset and now my hatred for James and Starr knows no bounds. Huge woof. I love Renee and she is being used as a reference here. Egregious.
30. LOL...Todd to Tea: "Well be careful 'cause I don't want you to get shanked without me." ha!
31. I wanna hug Brody and just help him. I really do. Poor baby.
32. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Marty's Playhouse will obviously resume in Thursday's episode!!! THANK YOU GOD for ending with that scene!

I'd like to thank Clint and Vicki and Todd, Tea, and Brody for getting me through this grueling post. Oh, and total fail with no follow up with the Matthew stuff. I mean REALLY?! REALLY?!
See y'all tonight or tomorrow morning. Oh, and I'll respond to all my comments from work at some point. Thanks so much!

Have a great day!



  1. Please tell me that Clickie (I love that)... had Tea call the police so they can have Cutter on extortion charges... can she include this deal in Clint's insanity plea in the making...

    #10 They did this thing w/Blair and Tomas all wrong. We still remember Eli. Tomas obviously is someone who isn't upright. Why would Blair fall for the EXACT same line? No one wants to see Blair get hurt again.

    #14 The sad part is, based on Todd's track record, Brody probably could have gotten a warrant if he just waited a few minutes.

    #29... why couldn't James know a manager?

    P.S. Don't they know we are waiting on a Matthew update!

  2. Couple of questions:
    -Do Clint and Viki know about Matthew, if not, why?
    -How in the HELL does James know Renee? And how insulting toward Renee!
    -When does James die and what does Starr see in him?
    -How in the hell do they make the combination of KDP and TK boring? Seriously? Two gorgeous and talented actors, should be seeing smoke.
    -Do the TPTB realize flashbacks are only needed when something happened a longtime ago, not last week?

    Thanks for you run by! Oh, forgot to say yesterday, thanks for quoting me! Awesomeness.

  3. I didn't even make it all the way through. I turned it off at the half way point and started playing Super Mario on the wii.

  4. @Katie: I didn't make it through yesterday's eppy either. I chose to do laundry and that's just sad.

    While I certainly don't defend Kelly's mothering skills, at least we know where her child is...has Starr's daughter even been mentioned?

  5. "Do Clint and Viki know about Matthew, if not, why?" - It's still happening in Llanview time, so nobody's had a chance yet to tell Clint/Viki about Matthew. I think there's a spoiler for Tuesday that says Bo and Nora are comforted by Rex and Viki.

    Bo/Nora are on Friday (tomorrow) as they wait on Matthew's surgery and try to figure out how/when he got hurt.

    We only hear about Renee for James' story? What about Renee (and Nigel) visiting a dying Clint? If we can't get Kevin and Cord to fly in, then Renee and Nigel should have come to see him.

  6. ugh--reading my mind again--I watched this morning before work thinking I wouldn't have enough time and FF thru so much I got done in 10 minutes. I REFUSE to watch any scene that has any Ford in it unless Vikki is there too :)

    The spoilers about Jessica are making my stomach turn--nasty disgusting rumors!


  7. I hope Cutter is a man of his word and takes the useless ones far far away from Llanview.

    Renee and Nigel are with a thousand flashbacks, Fords or Jessica personalities. Renee is in a mention for James Ford but not Clint Buchanan? She hasn't come to fuss over him or cheer him with stories of his Pa? She used to be Viki's best gal pal. What did she dis her wigs or something? Why isn't Nigel attending to the horror of that teeny bed Clint's stuck in. Come on he should be bringing in a royal bed with proper amenities in the room. Nigel should show up with a silver tray and a bourbon next to Clint's evening meds. Instead we get Fords and Starr and James and their epic lurve story?

    Thanks for sticking out this episode for your abbreviated blog. I'm sure Meredith understands!

  8. I thought this episode was alright. Todd was acting the usual guy that made him my favorite character this whole time so that was cool.

    I was laughing when James said he was the only person who could work on Renee's car! I knew you would have something to say about that and of course you did!

    And after all that work that Starr did, to get over her daughter's death to find out she was alive and then finally get her back and then she pretty much just leaves her again. She would been better off with Jess/Tess/Bess/Wes. At least one of them would be a mother to her. And I literally can not remember Starr's baby's name!

  9. Ooooookay so since I'm responding to 8 comments I'm gonna break this post up into two parts...the first 4 then the next 4. Blogger will only let me type so many characters in the comment box. Woof.

    @Akesha hehe I love "Clickie", too. ADORBS! I hope they told Tea that but I doubt it. I don't know if OLTL is that clever. I hate how they are making Blair look like a f*@king fool. It's annoying and insulting. I mean...Ted King is delish but still. LOL...Yes, Brody probably could have gotten the warrarnt. Akesha you are uber observant and I flurve it!!!!!! OMG and don't EVEN get me started with James knowing Renee. My blood is boiling at the damn thought!!! AH!!! Oh Lord you KNOW I am dying to get back to the Matthew stuff...Mercy!

    @mojomiller LOL...I don't think they know about Matthew yet but they find out next week. FAIL they don't know yet. We aren't supposed to be that smart to think about that, obviously! STOP IT!!!!! I CANNOT DEAL with the Renee knowing James shit!!! I wanted to kill someone when they said that...ugh. Totally insulting! I hope James dies at the hands of Marty Saybrooke from explosives! Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Starr...who knows what she sees in him. I've lost interst in Starr. OMG totally agree about KDP and TK! I kept telling Ross (and writing on this blog) about how great this whole TK thing was gonna be and it has been a total fail! Plus, they brought him on strictly to be with WTF? OMG I hate the recent flashbacks. Don't even get me started on the one where they showed Brody sticking it to Natalie! Oh...and you're welcome for the quote, darling! It was sooo true!!! ;)

    @Katie Your comments are always short, sweet, and hilarious. I just told Ross that you quit watching to play Super Mario on the Wii and we both died out laughing! I assure you that was a better option than watching the rest!

    @Sherri You are right that we know Zane is being raise fabulously by that DELICIOUS Kevin Buchanan. Oh my God I lurve him. Ummmm...poor Hope. Thank God for Addie but she isn't mentally sound so that's not good. Starr is such a bad mother and her whole teen pregnancy thing could have been a good storyline! Woof!

    Ok...about to do a second round of comments for this post.

  10. Round 2

    @Emily You're right. It is still happening/going on and Vicki does comfort Bo and Nora next week. I'm on the edge of my seat with this Matthew stuff even though we know he will live probably. OMG Emily...THANK YOU!!! We only hear about Renee from James!? Egregious. As if Renee and Nigel would not be by Clint...AS IF!!!! totally agree--if we can't get Kevin and Cord then AT LEAST give us Renee Divine and Nigel! Jesus!

    @rac haha...I'm peeing! It took you 10 minutes?! Again, I'm like Madame Delphina with my mind reading! Stop it! Those Fords are atrosh and I feel the SAME way! WOOF! OMG and don't even get me started on all this mess with what is supposed to happen with Ford and Tess. Lord have mercy. I cannot mentally handle an awful summer like we had in 2010. I think I will lose it...LOSE IT!!!

    @Valerie God, you and me BOTH hope Cutter is a man of his word! Valerie, OMG tell me about it with this Renee and Nigel stuff. I mean...I just feel totally insulted as a long time viewer. Clint is so important to both of them! They would be sick with worry and totally upset by his condition. yes, Renee and Vickster were friends...where is she? Yet, somehow Renee talks to James? My ass. hahaha! Starr and James epic lurve story!? Look at you...witty! Me likey! Yes, Meredith understood. I hate tuning in late for her...she NEVER lets me down. So witty! Oh, and you're welcome. I love doing it...bad episode and all.

    @YoSammity Todd was rather witty. I'll give you that. His smart ass always makes me chuckle. haha...YOU KNOW I had to say something about James' reference to Renee! YoSammity my ass was insulted!!! Dayum! That was awful! haha...well yes HOPE would be better off with Jess and her alters for a mother! Again, thank God for Addie Cramer! That poor child gets ZERO attention from fail! Woof Woof! You should be happy that I'm starting to like Tea more, p.s. ;)