Monday, May 9, 2011


Joey: "Aubs, the least we can do is visit Mary-Ella in the hospital. I feel terrible that the show was so bad today she had a stroke."

Look who is posting early! I've had a crazy day so I thought I'd go on and post this while I have time. Awesome. Even more awesome: the show was ATROSH today!!!!!!!! Good Lord! Lemme go on and blab about this crap while I can...

OMG Ryder is presh! Wait...hold the phone. Is she dreaming? She has to be. Snap. Of course...she is gonna like Ford.

Lord. Not that I give a flying f*@k, but Starr and James get no privacy.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!! Please no Minuteman sex...PLEASE!

Dammit! Aubrey is gonna fall in love with baby (hell, she already loves Joey now). I'm sorry but I need her gone before the show ends. Too many other important peeps that need to make an appearance. WAYYYYYY too many more important peeps. While I'm on this tangent, I need all the Fords, Aubs, Dayt-en, and Rama and Vimal gone. Yes, I like Rama but let's be serious. I don't want her ass on the last episode. Word. They need to take the midnight train FROM Llanview and go elsewhere.

Thank God...Kelly and John. Please make this show watchable today!!! These scenes are shot so out of order. One scene Kelly has her hair dark...then the past couple of times dark. Making my head spin! Nevermind, I'm gonna have to count on Marty's ass to make it watchable. YUCK! That purse is totally hideous! Ditch it in some alley, please.

Aw hell, Natalie is gonna stare at that damn tape for the whole episode if not multiple episodes. Woof. OF COURSE...Brody has to walk in.

Who doesn't care about these Ford/James/Starr scenes? This bitch. If this were a Thursday, I'd probably be more generous. But, it's was hectic...I had to pay Chase $2.00 for one temporary check (atrosh) and then I had to write the check for a security deposit on an apartment. I'm nauseous and not in the mood for this BULLSHIT from this trio today. No thank you. Moving along...

I'd like to THANK, yes, THANK Cutter for not wanting to have sex with Tess.

I must say...Aubrey has her hands full. She went from hot, single, and ready to mingle to a mother of two. I can't imagine where she finds clothes big enough to fit Joey! Can you imagine this summer trying to find him a little bathing suit with the floaties stuffed in it?!

Snap! Possible desk sex?! Kelly, Bo doesn't care since he and Nora used to have sex on her desk all the damn time. Hush it. I'm sorry but I like these two. Marty was talking to Cole on the phone I'm assuming. I heard he might come back to the show for a stint.

Aaaand, the Restasis doctor is on. Ross' favorite. Too bad he isn't here to watch with me. I bet this bitch is crazy in real life. She is too calm on this commercial. She and Marty probably bunked together at St. Anne's.

I think Brody and Natalie are adorbs. Again, like John and Kelly, I'm sorry because I know I am offending people with that..

JOEY!!!! You should have learned about her childhood BEFORE you married her, dipshit!

These Tess/Cutter scenes are boring the hell out of me!

This post is horrible and I'm sorry!!!! I'm not even halfway finished! Y'all I have ZERO material to work with today! At least let Marty go cray cray or something!? Desk sex from Kelly and John?! Something!

Not discussing the kids from Ohio...sorry. No, I can't lie. I'm not the least bit sorry I'm not discussing them. Sorry I'm jipping y'all, though. That is true! I just can't do these clowns today!

If this show weren't ending I'd maybe care about this Aubrey thing (or be somewhat interested), but this whole thing makes me nuts! I just want them to hurry this story up and focus on the REAL people that ARE OLTL. Woof.

Marty's crazy sauce STAINED my hardwood floor. If it's entertaining then she can do it again today. Dammit...what a waste! Marty is on today and she is being mute. I do like her creepy eavsdropping.

On a vain note: I will say that Aubs, Joey, and Ryder are aesthetically appealing. They could look like a cute family if I cared.

This conversation at the Minuteman is making me yawn!

No sex!!! It's not that they aren't attractive, but I just can't handle the Minuteman. On another note, it's gross that they left the Hounds Beer out all damn night. Isn't there a fridge/minibar? The beer will be nasty now...ugh.

Starr's shirt is cute. Lord have mercy stop it with the Hope references! You are never with that child, Starr! Addie is her mother. Game over.

Lord...we haven't even seen the beginning of Marty's secret sauce. She will go crazy on Kelly for sure...

Lord have mercy. Now Brody and Natty. Does EVERYONE in this town hook up with others to get over other people? Yes?


I need Marty to talk! DAMMIT!!!!! Something! Give me something today, OLTL! Because this show is halfway finished and the show sucks! Well, Kelly called Marty a bitch. That's something...not enough though.

YAY! "You think I'm a bitch now...wait 'til you see me later." Flove it and flove you, Marty.

That Natty/Brody hook-up was all of 2 seconds...woof.

I'm beyond bored. Where is Nigel?! Can't he make an appearance at the mansion? For the love of God! Renee?! Someone come in and save this episode!!!!

Don't even get me started on the Bo and Nora absence since April 15th! Their little stint last Wednesday was not enough...dammit to hell. My blood pressure is rising.

Go have sex with James, Starr. There is time and y'all are, you got time. Go get you some. WHAT?! An Addie Cramer reference?! STFU? Plus, OF COURSE she is watching Hope. OF COURSE.

Don't say "hell" in front of the baby, Aubs! I don't like Ford, but David Gregory does look adorbs holding Ryder. Gets me every damn time. I just want to eat that child!!!! Scrumptious! Adorable! Edible! My God how cute!?

That purse of Marty's is just a f*@king eyesore. God bless.

Natty and Brody. Either make-out and keep it going or just end it.

By far the best part of the show: Marty f*@king skipped out of John's office like she was on her way to recess. SCORE! This bitch is looney tunes!

I think Liam would know how to play that tape faster that Natty.

Starr and James can do it. Good for them.

God...Brody is back at the Minuteman which sucks because that means we will have to see a scene AT the Minuteman tomorrow. Mother effing woof!

Take it back about James and Starr. Ford is their birth control, I swear.

Surely, Cutter will say he is joking about him wanting the Buchanan fortue? I dunno. I don't care really.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Why couldn't we have had Marty and Kelly all damn week?! I will flove these scenes tomorrow! Thank God.

Look at John McBain reflecting on the day Natty gave the ring back.

Aaaaand, who else is tired of Natty stopping that tape? I mean...any girl in her right mind would listen to that shit from start to finish right there.

God Bless I'm glad this episode is over!!!!

I'm sorry y'all are subjected to this atrosh rant I just did...yikes!

Here is hoping tomorrow is better!



  1. Thank god for Marty, even though I will never believe Marty would do this, SH is SO awesome playing crazy, I can look past her OOC behavior.

    Mmm Bo and Nora desk sex and of course the Chinese food they always ate afterwards! I've got the stupidest grin on my face right now.

  2. I went right there as well as soon as I heard the Bo comment with John and Kelly. Of course, Bo wouldn't care. It frightens me when you read my mind.

    As for John, I have never been a fan. Can't understand the attraction. So it surprises me that I like John and Kelly. She makes him tolerable I think I have to defend your choice ME.

  3. While fighting sleep during this boring ass episode, I noticed that A. I have Starr's boots and they are a weird calf height on me but work on her cause she is short and B. Aubrey either has a fab make-up artist or gorgeous skin. That is all I have.

  4. @mojomiller Lord have mercy...thank God for Marty is right! Totally agree that Marty wouldn't act like this but SH is so effin awesome that I'm sold. She is so convincing with her craziness! Lord...Bo and Nora on the desk. God knows we ain't seein' it on the show so I had to mention it on here. Good times. You hit the nail on the head with the Chinese food! ;)

    @Christie Ooooh I like reading your mind! ;) KNOW Bo wouldn't have given a damn. If he did then that would have been totally hypocritical...ha! Thanks for defending my choice about John. I know a lot of people don't like him and I totally understand why. However, I flove him and Kelly together.

    @Katie Oooooh you have Starr's boots!? I bet they look presh on you! Hmmmm...I'm torn about Aubrey. I'll have to get back to you. I can't make a decision on that one. I was totally fighting sleep, too! It is so damn hard to post on episodes like this. =( If only Strasser could have made a cameo with "bitch" and just left the screen. I would have been happy.

  5. ME, I like John and Kelly together too. And by the way, I'm going to need Aubs gone before the show ends, too.

  6. came home yesterday to find the DVR didn't tape so I was very happy to read your post because now I don't care!!! The just -not-teens anymore need to go away I don't care abrout a single one of them--not even Starr which means bad writing because she should be THE legacy child a Lord (which she doesn't care about) and a Cramer. I hate to say it but the way she's been writ--en is a good examp;e of why this show is being cancelled---
    Snap I got it --they want us to be so angry we will be Happy when the show is over!!! But if I made it thru Eterna I can make it thru the Fords!!

  7. Welllllllllllll, I hope y'all enjoyed that John/Kelly "love" scene (and I use that term VERY loosely - almost as loose as Kelly is) because methinks that is the last one you are gonna see It astounds me why anyone - especially a female - would root for a character written so needy and desperate for male attention that she'll grasp on to whatever crumbs are thrown at her. Notice John never has to call her or track her down (or even take her out and spend money on her) - because she is always forcing herself into his orbit, asking pathetically if she is "crossing lines" or pouting about being blown off. Yuck.
    John, meanwhile, just endangered SO many people with his stupid "I'll pretend to want Marty back" plan.
    I am going to LOVE the fallout of all this!

  8. Snap! I didn't respond to these comments. Let me do so quickly!

    @Kendall Hi darling! glad you flove John and Kelly, too! OMG...Aubs needs to be gone like yesterday. I mean if we had a shit-ton of time then that would be another story but this bitch needs to flee!!!! I need BN back 2 weeks ago. WOOF!

    @rac sadly, I have to watch and post about the show even when it sucks. total woof!!!! God, Starr has been written so damn badly. I mean I'm still in tears the show is being cancelled but her character is a hot mess. Very nice thought: they want us to be happy when it is over. I mean...with this Bo/Nora/Matthew mess they are driving me damn near crazy!!! OMG I flove you just made an Eterna reference! LOL!

    @Anonmous Yes, I know Jolie will be back together and I hate it but whatcha gonna do? I'll just accept it. Thank God I'm not totally invested in them. But, regardless I did indeed like John and Kelly. I sense you're not a Kelly fan...I understand. I must say I floved John's piss poor judgment about Marty because I flove Marty as a loose cannon causing trouble...FLOVE it! ;)