Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Post from Hell!!!! The Karma Gods Have Had a Grand Time with Me!!!

Bo: "What do you mean you won't be able to make it to Marty's Memorial Day BBQ? I was hoping you would come with Nora and me."

Good God...let's try this ONE MORE DAMN TIME! I cannot lie: Beyond frustrating to have all this shit typed out and then it gets deleted. Ugh...exhausting. Ok, I'm gonna quit complaining. Oh, and I thought my blog was pretty witty for Thursday and now I just KNOW it won't be as good. Again, I probably deserved it since according to Dorian Lord "karma is a bitch." My Nate, Dayt-en, Joey bashing had to be reckoned with...I get it. I've been punished so let's move on.

Thursday, May 5th

Note: I couldn't find a Chuckles/Echo pic. Sorry. :(

Obviously, my punishment continues: Starr/James/Dayt-en in the first scene. The karma gods are really trying to f*@k me on this Mother's Day huh? I see how this is gonna be...bring it on.

Dammit! Dorian take your hair down! Get your bodyguard to do it. STAT!!! That's right Echo...shit bricks. Right now. Vickster is about to bring Chuckles the Talkboy.

Karma gods 3, Mary-Ella 0. The Minuteman Motel. WOOF! I have said this 30 times and will continue to: Queen V is lookin' hella outta place there...OMG. She just doesn't fit in there and that is a good thing! LOL..."Yeah, they mentioned on the news that ummm...Nikki Smith made an appearance." Lord...Chuckles is so nonchalant! Also, I FLOVE that Vickster can't remember a damn thing about Nikki's actions. I mean...Nikki could sleep with every male in Llanview the night before and not know! Cray Cray!!!

These Bo/Clint scenes better be longer than 2 damn seconds! "No, this is your first heart attack so they'll do a bypass." Aaaaand, Bo Buchanan got his medical degree in what year?! LOL. He was so damn certain and convincing with that statement I swear! Ugh...too short!

Destiny...I'm upset with you so stop crying. WOOF WOOF!

Again Brody, the Rules of Criminal Procedure have guidelines regarding breaking down a doorway. Lord have mercy. Good God is EVERYONE at the Minuteman tonight?! Disgusting! Vile! Eh...I'm kinda over this Tess/Ford/Brody/Cutter and custody of Ryder thing. Starting to bore me.

Aaaaand Dayt-en has cute jewelry and outfits in her little ass. Speaking of ass, if I were Starr I would have beaten Dayt-en's ass by now! Seriously...if you really think about their situation it's bonkers!!! Again, ask your Aunt Vicki how shit like this turns out!!

Dorian: "Everything you do is my business." You are so choice, Dorian. So choice. I flove her.
Minority opinion: I feel sorry for Bo. I know right? What a surprise since I adore him. I also adore Clint despite his evilness as of late. However, I do think Bo feels badly about the whole situation in general and how everything has turned out. UGH!!!!! DAMMIT! If you blink or look down these scenes are flippin' over. While I'm complaining, I have to say that it is also effing absurd that we are left to assume that Nora is out in the halls just reading a magazine or something. Horseshit!

God, Vicki get out of that motel room. It ain't a good look, darlin'. AH! The Talkboy!

Yeah...I don't want Matt and Destiny to have sex and they are. Anyway, this Matthew (the honest, good-hearted, level-headed kid) is the Matthew I adore. Where has he been for months?! Nothing like killing an evil bastard to make you be a nice person again...oy!

I totally laugh out loud when Dorian speaks. I mean when she said "Oh please go to Chuckles. I've done my part." I peed a little bit. Literally...peed.

God, Vicki is the most SELFLESS woman on the planet! She doesn't even want to hurt Charlie with the Talkboy audio. She is so fab. God Bless, there is no way that television in Charlie's room works. It doesn't matter anyway. People only go to the Minuteman for nasty sex and the awesome minibar that is stocked with Jim Daniels.

"You're lucky I never got into a courtroom cause the jury would have sent me home in time for dinner." Clint continues to be a witty badass while on death's door (although he ain't dyin' but you get the point). And, Bo still has that bronzed look about him. Maybe he and Nora went on vay-cay?! YES! That is why they have been absent for weeks. They went to the beach to think about their shitty situation with Matthew. Why not tan at the same time? Exactly. UGH!!!! These scenes are half a second! Not even a full second! Egregious!

I can't even focus on the dialogue between Destiny and Matt because I hate Matt's atrosh shirt! It is so f*@king ugly with all that graphic shit on it. Between that and his hair, I swear...

Aw hell. So, Cutter and Tess are married. Over this shit already and it just happened. Please...dear Jesus don't let there be a sex scene at the Minuteman...PUH-LEEZE!!!!! Begging you. I cannot mentally handle this shit.

Something else I can't mentally handle...the woman, Robin, on the Chantix commercial. Yes, I know what you're thinking "Don't you have DVR, ME? Fast forward, idiot." Sometimes I'm typing and don't fast forward. Anyway, her voice is annoying and I'm not surprised OLTL doesn't hire her ass to act on the show since her phonetics are so whack. I mean, why not hire her? They keep hiring all these new f*@kers and the show is about to go off. So, hire the Chantix woman by all means.

UGH...I mean, can't they just say Ohio for crying out loud!!!! Why specifically Dayt-en? I'm dying. Aaaaand, Dayt-ten has no money to her name yet she has a cell phone that works so obviously someone is paying the bill. Ugh.

God when Bo starts going off on the litany of things Clint did...well, it's pretty damn bad. He caused a lot of damage...damn. LOL...between Echo and Bo coming in and raising their voices Clint is gonna die right there on the spot. THESE BO/CLINT SCENES ARE SO DAMN GOOD!!!! And they aren't on together more because???? Yes, exactly. Yeah, I think Clint kinda felt guilty when Bo told him Nora encouraged him to visit out of brotherly love...

AH! Now this is gonna get good...just know it. YES! Vicki left! Even better! SAY WHAT?! Echo: "How could you do this to me!?" Excuse me? Where the f*@k did that come from? Ummmm you effed her husband, ho! She has every right to whatever she damn well pleases! OMG is Chuckles gonna get a brain?! Let's see if he moves a grade level today...

AHHHH!!!! I'm pulling my hair out! Brody just said "reverts back." God bless America. That is redundant, dammit! Just say "reverts!" For the love of God, shouldn't the WRITERS of all people know that "reverts back" is incorrect. Geez Louise. So, now that Cutter and Tess are married I wonder if this is the end of the STD swapping Aubs/Cutter sex? Hmmm...

Lawd...Llanview must have the LOWEST unemployment rate of any other city/town. I mean...ANYONE can find a job in a matter of minutes, I swear.

LOL!!!! So did Vicki put her flashers on and speed back to the hospital?! Lord have mercy! How did that bitch NOT get a speeding ticket!? There is just no damn way she made it back so quickly. Isn't the Minuteman not far from Pine Valley? haha...hilar! I'm like Dorian, glad to see Vicki is a little human! So glad she enjoyed seeing the look on Echo's face--the "I'm shitting major bricks right now" look.

I don't even care about Chuckles and Echo but I KNOW these scenes will deliver. Aaaaand, they are...FABOOSH! I don't have much to even say about them since they are sooo good.

Clint: "The trouble with you is you see the world in black and white. You're good. You're bad. When the truth is people are a little bit of both. But in your world if you're not perfect then out you go." OMG! Y'all know I flove Bo Buchanan more than life, but my God truer words have not been spoken! Thank you, Clint! Hello? Bo couldn't forgive Nora for 10 effing years. He is somewhat of a hardass in the good/bad department. Word. However, I think Bo has every right to be angry with Clint. Ok that's all I'm saying. I'm kinda sad watching these scenes. I hate they aren't close anymore...whannn. However, I do love all this drama. I'm torn. over this James/Starr/Dayt-en shit. I mean...get her ass back to Ohio and go on dates and have sex. That will straighten shit out. Game over.

I flove Dorian/Vicki together and I just can't say it enough.

haha! Charlie: "Don't call me that [Chuckles]!" Good God! I've been begging for people to stop calling you that! You're JUST now asking her to stop calling you that. Lord. Aaaaand, what a surprise. Charlie just said "stoopid." Lawd...phonetics issues out the ass today. OMG these scenes are delivering!!! God bless...NOW Chuckles B. realizes how fabu Vickster was. Little late, bucko. Charlie: "You're a lying, cheating, manipulative _____." COME ON! Say whore or slut or something!!! Sheesh. This acting is phenomenal. PHENOM! LOL...Charlie: "Well, I was stoooopid!!!" And, now you have moved up a grade. You recognized the problem. You are leaving Joey in the dust, Chuckles! He is only in kindergarten. You are now in first grade. Big day for you.

Well, at least Matthew is getting this shit off his chest. LOL..."You know you should go to law school. You'd be a helluva lawyer." Lord...they are gonna do it soon.

Ugh these Bo/Clint scenes are too damn short. I'm crying. Aaaand, Ford punched Cutter. Yawn.

Yucky! Don't have sex, Cutter/Tess!!! Puh-leeze!!! I've had enough bad karma today. Don't do me in...

Yes! At least one person is leaving the Minuteman! I want everyone away from there! Leave Charlie!!! Good God. Echo, beating on the window won't do shit. Why didn't you just run after him? Dumb.

V baby, you're smarter and stronger now so don't even consider reconciling with Charlie. I know he is leaving so y'all won't, but I don't even want you thinking about it. Ugh...don't even get me started with the David being in L.A. reference. Annoying. Dorian: "And if I were a betting woman, and I am then I'd be putting money on the two of us." Flove it.

So...I can't wait for this Echo vs. Dorian/Vickster showdown!!! I'm jumping out of my damn chair!

These Bo/Clint scenes are kinda sad. Bo looks like he wants to puke...

Ok, so Destiny and Matthew are going to have sex. Got that. However, how is this gonna work? I we know Bo and Nora are about to leave the hospital and probably go home and get in bed. Is Destiny staying the night? How would Bo and Nora NOT here Matthew and Destiny having sex? I mean, wouldn't they go check on him before they went to sleep? I want an answer to these questions dammit!

Ugh...I bet we WILL get a Cutter/Tess love scene. Piggies...

Fingers crossed this post is successful!!!

Kisses and sorry about the huge delay!!!

Gonna do Friday's post this evening. About to go exercise now. This shit has been stressful! Lord have mercy! Oh, and I am gonna try and respond to comments tonight, too! I FLOVE y'all's comments...make my day!


  1. OMG!! Robin from the Chantix commercial! The accent! Helmet hair and giant teeth! Too much!

  2. @Katie haha! You can't handle her either!? OMG it's THE WORST accent of all time! She totally has helmut hair and giant teeth. WOOF!

  3. ME,

    I just tried to post you a lovely long message to no avail. I'll give it another shot.

    Bo/Clint & Vicki/Dorian rocked. I love when Dorian says Chuckles. She says it with such disdain. I, like you feel sorry for Bo; however, I don't feel even a shred of sympathy for Clint.

    Matthew/Destiny I'm a little distressed that they had sex. NOOOOOOO. But the kid has game (must be a Buke thing) one raise of the eyebrows and he was spiriting Des away to his bedroom after only their second kiss. I also wondered how long Bora's hospital visit was supposed to last and how Des was going to get out of there unseen. Sadly, we'll never know. At least Matt's hair was a little better than the day before. I love these two like they were my younger sibs, so I'm glad they didn't show us the gory details of their encounter. I hope the show wraps up the Eddie thing in a decent manner, though from what I've been hearing, I'm not holding out much hope.

    Cutter/Tess/Ford- Ugh can't we just make them go away? So done with all of them.

    Echo- Charlie questioned whether she had an addiction. She thinks she can go up against Vicki and Dorian. Clearly, she's drunk off something.

    Great to see you back. You were missed.

  4. @Kendall Awe, you had a post and then it didn't work?! Boo on Blogger, I swear. OMG those Bo/Clint and Vicki/Dorian scenes were THE shit. I just wish the Bo/Clint ones would have been longer. =( DEF feel sorry for Bo, because you can tell he is torn and hurting. Gosh...Matt and Des. They are better as friends in my opinion but nothing I can do about it. OMG, you KNOW our asses will get no damn follow up from it. I mean, I'd love to know what time BN came back!! Speaking of love scenes...BN are due for one. Come on. Cutter/Tess/Ford...over that shit. I'm actually looking forward to the Echo vs. Vickster/Mayor Lord. Such star power there! Awe...thanks. Glad to be back, darlin'. ;)