Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Talk About The Year From Hell!!!

Bo: "Yeah Red, we haven't enjoyed ourselves since last June."
Nora: "I know. I'm gonna have to sue the writers and everyone else involved for making us miserable. Whatever I have to do!"

Top o' the mornin' to ya! That was done in my best Deborah Kerr impersonation from an "Affair to Remember." God knows I didn't live up to her classy voice, but I did indeed try. was fabulous! Must hurry and do this before I head out. Again, excuse all my typos since I know I will have them! Will try and correct later!

Tuesday, May 24th

NO!!!!! PLEASE STOP THIS MADNESS! KDP has a FABU voice! I know. I know. I also know she was singing the old Peabo Bryson OLTL theme song. She even made a reference to the song being too sad and all. But...just no.

Now Ted King has the jacket on over his incredibly white shirt (incredible since he has had it on for a month)...lord. I just want to jump him...can't help it!

Sooo...Todd has been in a catatonic state for 8 years yet his beard is trimmed ever so nicely and he looks clean. Impressive. Oh, and let's move this along a couple of inches today...k, thanks.

OMG OMG OMG I cannot deal!!! These food costumes are atrosh and by NO MEANS funny! He looks ridiculous.

I'm so effing tired of these alters. Huge woof.

OMG...I think Clint's bed got smaller! How is that possible?! He's still the most handsome heart patient, but he looks uncomfortable. Get this poor man a damn bed! Oooooh Queen V just walked in...score. Looking all regal and chic in her red...thumbs up.

Lord...we have to watch Matthew collapse. Again. Poor baby.

OMG and obviously my wish for a new opening will not happen since the show is ending. Don't even get me started on that opening with pics from like...1994. Woof.

Aw hell! UGH. That damn lawyer for Tess! I hate him! He is beyond ass-clown status at this point. Wait, did he always have glasses? Wait...who cares? I need to stop...

F*@K. REALLY? Ford is picking up this nurse in the hospital in that outfit? I mean...I could be watching Bo/Nora/Matthew or Clint/Vicki right now. Egregious!!! OMG and the hot dog jokes are beyond dumb.

Please God don't let Blair sing anymore...please. Aaaand that scene was over in 2 seconds.

All this secret shit! OUT WITH IT!!! I don't want to see Tomas and Todd say the same shit to each other over and over. I'll go on a merry-go-round if I want to go in circles!!!

Vickster knows Clint like the back of her hand. She will get Clint to crack...for shizzle. And, p.s., how adorable are they? I mean...really. They scream chic and sophisticated just looking at them.

God...these Bo/Nora/Matthew scenes have me nervous and we aren't even to the hospital yet! Sweet Lord! OMG.Hillary Smith has the prettiest legs I've ever seen...word! Snap! I wanted them to show Bo actually picking Matthew up and carrying him because I was interested to see if he could do it. Damn. Omigod these scenes are too damn short for my liking.

It's official: I'm totally bored with ALL of these Todd scenes. I'm also beyond upset that he is still in those white Keds. I mean...this story lost my interest like last year. These scenes and the Tomas/Toad scenes (hell, and any Blair/Tomas scene) are as exciting as C-Span. I know this crew will be on all summer and I'm gonna be upset if it doesn't get interesting like now. This is ridic. Like MojoMiller pointed out (if I quote this right): "RH is way too cool to be strapped to a chair." That couldn't have been said more perfectly. He is being wasted. HUGE WOOF!!! Barf barf woof!

My God I want to fast-forward through all this Capricorn shit! Times! Where is Christian Vega?! He's not tending bar? Oh nevermind...he's teaching his night class. I'm assuming Gigi is helping him? Riiiiiiiiight. Since Gigi is obviously still enrolled in school. That bitch never goes! As if! Saying Gigi is a student and teaching assistant is like saying Starr goes to school AND is an excellent mother to...wait what is her kid's name again?

I'm yawning through these alter scenes. is it like deja vu all over again with this doctor examining Matthew's reflexes?! F*@k these scenes are too damn short! They promoted the hell out of this last week and if you blink you miss these scenes.

OF COURSE V asks Silver Fox if she killed Clint as soon as Tea walks in...OF COURSE.

Dammit...all this "There is just something NOT right about Tomas" shit is annoying. I need Blair to NOT be involved with another guy who is crazy or a criminal. Huge woof. I don't even care for Blair's character that much in general (don't dislike just...not invested) but I don't want her hooking up even with a watered-down version of Eli.

I'm so distracted in all of Tomas' scenes because my mind is in the gutter!

Hell, who am I kidding? My mind is in the gutter in all of Clint's scenes...and Bo's. Ross will puke when he reads this...whatevs.

If I am gonna be forced to watch alters, please give me some Jean mother f*@king Randolph!!! Lord have mercy!!! I want to eat glass shards right now...over this. Aaaaaand there is Bess. Somebody f*@king shoot me before this shit invades my living room. Granted I love the cold, calculating, and precise alters much better than the wild trashy ones (I know...I'm probably in the minority with that). However, I don't care now. I would have preferred Bess months ago.

Those were the quickest tests run on Matthew EVER! LOL. He is back already? Cray Cray! Well, Bo and Nora def look sick with worry. Aaaaand, they should be. God, a Cole reference...oy. Lord! Matt doesn't even know who Eddie Ford is! I knew all this brain injury stuff happened but I didn't know he was gonna think he couldn't walk still. Damn.

Oh, and the writers are doing an excellent job (in my eyes) with this redemption of Clint. I am a weak target since I floved him since I was little but JVD is so attractive and charming that I'm buying it immediately. Yes...I suck. Total FAIL. I mean...he tried to ruin the lives of my two favorites! But...I dunno. Just like with the sympathy for Aubs yesterday...I can't help it. I just want to hug Clint and it pains me to see him kinda gasping for breath. I'm sorry for my weakness!

Sooooo obviously this is the Bree Williamson show? I mean...she is on CONSTANTLY!!! She is involved in practically every damn story. So, they want to show us this Bess/Wess/Tess/Jess nonsense multiple times this episode but not Matthew's nearly fatal brain injury? Ah yes...that makes total sense.

OMG I AM SO INTRIGUED TO SEE WHO IS SPYING ON TODD AND TOMAS!!!!!! Do y'all think I'm being serious or sarcastic? Please guess.

Trichotillomania. I swear. I can't beat this problem. Not that these Ford scenes are the worst ever, but they are indeed the straw that broke the camel's back this morning since I'm tired of this and the Bree Williamson Show plus Dayt-en and Co. See...I just don't give 2 shits that this nurse got all mushy when she saw Ford sing or do whatever the hell he does to the kiddies. I don't care that this triggered something and now she wants to take him on a date and let him pour his heart out to her. We don't have too much time left for our show! Who gives a f*@k about the feelings of a random day player for a hot dog?! I mean...REALLY?! ("Really" being said in my best Nora voice.)

I will say this: Starr's shirt is cute. Dayt-en...THIS is how you need to dress. Don't give me the "I don't have money" excuse. You have a lot of clothes. Go buy something like this from H&M or Forever. Hell, go with Gigi one day. She is always there buying plaid shit.

I'm so damn engrossed in these Bo/Nora/Matthew scenes! Hooked! Times! I mean...Bo and Nora have got to be like WTF. They just left Matthew at home for a few hours and the next thing you know....BOOM! He collapses, slurring speech and talking about his accident and oh, p.s., he has a subdural hematoma from a major head injury he sustained. I mean...What the f*@k. DAMMIT...these scenes are entirely too short!!!!

I don't care about this Bess shit. Ridic!!! I'm FUMING right now.'s 5 'til 7. I need to hurry up. This always happens unless I do a drive-by.

Again, I'm on the edge of this f*@king couch right now from suspense with this peeping tom at Todd's. I was more intrigued by the peeping tom in "That Darn Cat!" Woof.

Hell Starr, I'm sure Blair was glowing the night she was going to see Tomas. She hasn't gotten in any action in awhile and Tomas is the golden ticket!

Aaaaand, I'm sorry. I have to go slam my head against the granite counter top quickly thanks to these Ford scenes. Not discussing this cold, calculating Bess. Only if this were Jean would I entertain such nonsense.

Wow...these RH scenes are riveting. God, what a waste.

LOL..."What the hell is going on?!" Tea is super sassy. I'm kinda loving her lately.

Not discussing mini Jean Randolph. Take that back...NO ONE is as cool as Jean. I one. I still laugh when I think about her telling the judge that pets have the advantage over children...ha!

Well, I don't know about y'all but I'm offended that Christian isn't the bartender at Capricorn. I's downright insulting. I can't believe such a pertinent and vital character is absent. hehe.

"The TRUTH. Anyone? Anyone?" Tea has me peeing with her sassiness.

Is it sad I want Vickster to kiss Clint? Lord...yes it is.

My poor Bo and Nora. I mean...Nora didn't say ONE DAMN WORD and she was PERFECT!!! PERF! Her reactions are THE best! Bo's reactions are fab. Why I love these two. I mean...I felt like she was genuinely shocked and in disbelief. So fab. I'm gonna try and control my gushing over these two if I can but I doubt I'll be able to...

Wait just a damn minute! Starr: "James got off work early." What the hell? When did this car stealing bastard get a job?! Did I miss this?! I'm assuming yes?

Ummmm Matthew is doing really well playing the disoriented patient...really well. OMG....aaaand my heart just broke. When Matthew said he loved them so much and Bo and Nora sadly put their heads together...OMG. I can't deal with this and the worst hasn't even happened yet.

Aw lawd...Cutter surfaces to threaten Llanview's king and queen. I need this schemer to get a deal and hit the f*@kin' road...WORD!

OF COURSE Ford is making out with the nurse. OF COURSE.

Aaaaand kill me now. Tomas and Blair just almost had eye sex from across the room. That means they will be on today's episode and be effing boring. Woof to the max. Especially since I'm sure there will be no follow-up from this Matthew stuff...but, of course we need to see Starr and James and Blair and Tomas instead. God Bless.

Poor little Brody trying to find Liam. =(

This Todd shit is WEIRD AND ATROSH!!!!!!! I mean...come on!

OMG OMG OMG...I cannot deal! My heart melted when Matthew told Nora it was going to be okay. Tear. WHAT?! "See you on the other side." Ummmm scary! Nora's reaction was PERFECT...again. She looked like she was about 10 shades disturbed and spooked by that comment. She is so fabulous! My poor babies! Oh, and Bo's last shot was perf, too! Those gorgeous blue eyes of his look so sad! AH!

OMG I need to haul ass to get ready! It's 7:15 for heaven's sake! I'll respond to some comments from work since I see I have a few. Hope this makes least about 75% of it! I'm typing like a mad woman on speed! AH! Or, as you said Leigh Ann..."a maniac on a shopping spree." ha!

Ok have to run!



  1. I enjoyed yesterday a great deal, but I admit I only really watched Bo/Nora/Matthew and Viki/Clint.

    The Jess and Ford crap, wasn't worth my time, awful. Ford is pointless, I am a hot dog lover, and seeing him in the outfit over and over is making me hate hot dogs. Damn you Robert Ford, DAMN YOU!

    I watched Starr and Blair, because it was so nice to actually see Starr with someone other than James!

    I am thrilled I am not the only person who watched this show and noticed HBS's amazing legs. I wish my legs could look those!

    God, it is so sad, but I couldn't turn away from our fam. Those last two scenes they were just heart breakers. When Matthew told them how much he loved them, I lost it.

  2. LOL, I Flove reading The Llanview Ledger! It always makes me laugh. By the way, Mari-Ella "Blush and Bashful are my signature colors" Ha ha ha. See I know who they are too. LOL. Anyway, I'm not gonna give away too much (as was politely asked of me), except to give you a little heads up:
    Thursday, you'll love Roxy and the Psychic
    Friday, I'll warn you - Nate and Day-en will be there. Ugh.
    David Vickers is coming back for sure. And Clint and Matthew, Surprise, Surprise, have the same rare blood type. Just saying.
    Marty, Thomas and Todd are about to mix it up when she learns their secret.
    Some stories are ridic and slow, but I still love watching it (and reading your blog)!

  3. This one was super sad, Matthew is such a adorable kid when he has a subdural hematoma. I wanted him to be my kid. I had to go watch when Nate hit him, to see how he did this and I was like WTF! That hit was ridiculous and it made me hate Nate even more I can't wait B&N figure this mess out! Its going to be great! Everything else is moving by fairly slow. I think I'm probably alone on this but I like Tess and Ford. Don't shoot me! I don't know why.

  4. @MojoMiller OMG you know my ass feels the same way! I floved yesterday but was concerned with BNM and CV...totally. hahaha! OMG...I LOVE hot dogs too! That is my meal of choice at LSU football games and Ford has pretty much ruined mine, too. Thank God I love the nachos! I'll eat those. So damn over the Bree Williamson show like yesterday. She is a great actress but these alters are getting shoved down our throats. Lord...God knows I ain't a Starr/James fan. Much prefer her with Blair. Oh and I have to give Hillary credit where credit is due: her legs are fabulous and she must show them off! No need to keep them hidden! OMG I know I cried with the Matthew stuff and the worst hasn't even come yet...lord have mercy!

    @Richmond Chandler Darling, you're always so complimentary! Thank you! Score!!! You know Clairee! "Her colors are pink and pink." "My col-ahs are blush and bashful, Mama!" Thanks for the scoop! Pumped about Roxy! Ummmm Nate and Dayt-en...yeah, bludgeon me. Yes, I know about Clint and Matthew but I think that will not work out! Fingers crossed! Can't wait for the return of Marty's Playhouse! Yes the Todd story is one of those in my opinion that needs to move its ass along! I'm so thrilled you love watching and then reading my blog! Thanks good sir!

    @YoSammity I know it right?! Matt has been an ass for months and then he gets a subdural hematoma and he is lovely and back to the kid that Nora (and partially Bo) raised. OMG I cannot even watch Matt's head hit the table...makes my head hurt!!! I sure hope B&N figure this mess out soon. I can't wait either! Oh, you aren't along: Ross likes Tess and Ford. WOOF! I won't shoot you...don't worry. If I do, then I'll kill Ross too! haha! ;)

  5. Mary-Ella - you won't like me for this but I totally freaken LOVE Tess. I used to hate that beyoch, but I can NOT get over how freaken hilarious BW is in that role. Do you now LYAO while watching her mock people? The police station crap was so damn funny. I can't help myself.... Okay, back to some of your comments. I did a mini LOL because of the beard and keds comment. I want to leave the straps on him then SIT on him. He's so FREAKEN hot... I would youtube scenes from AW just to watch him with Cady McClain and have his shirt off. Woof to that! :) Also, isn't Bo like 80? He prob wouldn't be able to lift Matt off the floor. I LOL when you did the whole REALLY? thing in Nora's voice. I totally see it... she does do it a lot. Also, because I don't know you well yet or know your sarcasm, DO you know who's outside Todd's place? If not, it's Marty. And, she's on the war path FO SHO (which is probably how Dayt-en would say it) I can't freaken stand that underactor. I wish she would get eyelid surgery to keep her eyes open, I am TIRED of the puppy dog crap. UGH! Anyway, thanks for the great post, can't wait to hear what you say about Brody jackin up Todd & Tea from today's epi.

  6. it's like your reading my brain while i'm watching except that I get to fast forward!!

  7. @Jen Hullman Oh honey, you can love Tess all you want! I'm totally okay with it since God knows I'm sure a lot of people that read this don't agree with who I love and hate. Tess is quite entertaining. Hell, anyone is more entertaining than Jessica. BW is fabu in the role. However, I"m tired of this whole show revolving around her! But she is great. And yes I totally do laugh when she mocks people...can't help it! hahahaha! I could leave the straps on RH and sit on him, too! Too presh! Yes...Bo is 64. But I don't care...I have floved him since elementary school! I was DYING to see him really pick up Matt! Wanted to know if he could do it. Oh, and I flove all things Nora and I actually say "REALLY?!" on a daily basis. I actually did not read any Marty or Todd spoilers so no I didn't know it was her peeping! Marty's craziness is so entertaining for me. Thanks for the compliments!

    @rac I'm like Madame Delphina! I can read your thoughts, darling! ;) I'm so jealous you get to fast forward! AH!!!!