Tuesday, August 2, 2011

I'm Sleeping AT John McBain's. I Haven't Slept WITH Him Yet.

RH's Todd: "I hate that I waited 8 years for this...but, yes, I'm in love with John McBain. I hate to disappoint you all. This love just came out of nowhere, but I'm so thankful I met him."

Ah...heavens! I must apologize for still not returning comments. I will today if it kills me. I am up to my eyeballs in last minute weddng foolishness and I'm stressed...to say the least. Anyway, let me try and crank out something that makes about 65% sense (if I'm lucky)!

Monday, August 1st--Marty's Jealous Rant (Hello?! Todd Manning is STEALING her man! Bitch is pissed!)
1. Well it's good to know that some things never change (or at least return to old ways): Rex is back to being a total spazoid. Jesus.
2. I want John McBain to storm into The Palace demanding for RH to remove his [McBain's] suit. Thief!
3. Man Dan-YELLA, you really know how to pick 'em huh? NQS left Matthew brain dead...starred in a porn with his brother's ex girlfriend (for what purpose REALLY?)...and he is 35. Please wise-up. You are better than this.
4. Sweet Jesus. I will take the small snippet of Bo and Nora goodness while I can because I know Mes is about to be all up in their shit and I can't handle it. Regardless, I'm beyond elated to see them.
5. FINALLY!!!!!! How many months has it taken this Todd shit to take off? PLEASE be good. Just please.
6. UGH!!! EXPLODE! Mes, I despise you! I hope a giant cow lands on you right now. I am so effing tired of her interupting BN. Can't deal with this shit. Plus, her acting is ATROSH!!! Oh, and the Mr. and Mrs. B shit has to STOP! UGH.
7. Ok WTF? In Christian and Shawn's scenes with the multiple food items on Friday (whatever that was) there appeared to be no one at the BD Cafe and it was uber dark (darker than now). However, now the place is kinda hoppin'. Confused.
8. YoSammity, I agree...Baker is a terrible agent.
9. My God could this REALLY be happening?! For the first time in years (really since she was under the age of 10), Starr seems to be good in these RH scenes and she may not get on my nerves today. Jesus! Miracles CAN happen! I need Blair up in this RH business stat...
10. Ok this Rex foolishness is just dumb. OF COURSE, Shane saved the day with a text message. Shane continues to be cooler than Rex...and half the people in Llanview.
11. Lord I can't believe we have RH in the room with all these people I mean...it has been YEARS. I just can't believe my eyes really.
12. I need someone to just bust up into Toad's and shove dynamite up NQS' butt and set it off. I loathe this bastard!!! Dammit! Mes first, then NQS. I need them GONE!
13. No Nora. Just no! Do not tell Mes to come on in and have a seat! Jesus, you are better than this! UGH. So when Nora (I think it is her) overhears Mes telling Matthew that she is pregs next week...I NEED Nora to go postal. Just give me this one small favor, God. Please. Also...how is Nora not sweating to death? It's August...that outfit.
14. God...I have got to stop going in great detail about everything or I'm gonna be late. This is happening every morning now.
15. I must say I do like Vivian. =)
16. YES!!!!! Blair and RH are having a convo! I can feel the chemistry in this house. RH: "The only thing I know for sure is that you kept me alive. What kept me going day after day for 8 years was the idea of coming home to you...and to Starr...and to Jack." MERCY!!! Somebody kill me! I would like RH and Blair to reunite now! Hmmmm...I bet NuJack is gonna be on Team Toad and not Team RH. RH didn't recognize Jack? Gee, I don't either. The other one was so much f*@king cooler. RH, you don't even know. You missed out!
17. Ummmm Baker...you just asked McBain if he was looking for his "bunkmate?" Listen bitch...they are an item! More than bunkmates! They are a supercouple! You better recognize!
18. Blair and Starr are fabulous for the first time in a long ass time...and I don't want to strangle them! I'm so excited! Especially about Blair because I knew that goodness was there! She has just been a victim of terrible stories and promiscuity.
19. Baker...stop telling McBain he will regret locking you up. McBain has no regrets. How could he? He does no wrong...
20. I must say I'm still confused by this Todd thing. I mean...now I think RH is indeed Todd (for today), but I think TSJ thinks he is? Or he is lying? I just don't know.
21. Shawn, I wish Mes being pregs was ridic. I mean I'm having nightmares about this shit.
22. Ok I'm sorry. There is no way that Bob Woods and Hillary Smith are into this gum wrapper foolishness and Mes' pregs (and lying to BN...don't get me started) shit. They are doing a fine job as always, but I just don't think their heart is in it. They deserve a better story than this and they need to stop propping effing Mes! Jesus, Marty, and Joseph.
23. Oh my word! RH just called Starr "Shorty." I must say that my heart kinda skipped a beat. I cannot believe I'm enjoying Starr today! I'm even looking past that atrosh choker and dress.
24. RH just called Tea "Delgado." God, I feel like this is ALMOST old times. ALMOST. Wait...has Tomas uttered one damn word? No.
25. Omigod Nora...do NOT tell Mes all this shit about who hurt Matthew.
26. I see someone lurking outside of Toad's house with a stick of dynamite. Please shove it up Nate's butt NOW!
27. As if Rex's spastic actions are bad enough, that effing picture is back on the damn mantle. I cannot catch a break. This is part of Monday's episode (and Monday was a stress biscuit for me) so I'm just writing Monday off even though I am VERY MUCH enjoying the RH stuff. UGH!!!! COME ON! REALLY?! Gigi as a ghost?! Dammit, girl. You left this show on a good note with me. Don't come back...please. Just let it be. WOOF!
28. Ugh I need to hurry for the last half. I don't see how I keep running late.
29. Dan-YELLA, you are so pretty and sweet (despite breaking Matthew's heart) and can do so much better. PLEASE ditch this ass clown. PLEASE!
30. Ugh...Mes just told Bo and Nora she should "bounce." Kill me. Aaaaaand now she just ran out in the middle of Nora asking her a question. Rude ho.
31. OF COURSE...McBain is up in the middle of this foolishness to save his boyfriend's life. He has been gone 8 years and now has his life back...SOMEONE has to make sure he doesn't destroy it in an instant. That man is John McBain. Of course it is. Aaaaaaand crisis averted. Victory for our supercouple.
32. Ummmm no Toad. John will not make brownies next. He will make a pie for you and you WILL like it.
33. Tea's reactions have been pretty stellar, but she just hasn't said much. Just lookin' pretty...and shocked.
34. Damn Dan-YELLA, will YOU please tell Bo and Nora since Mes' ass is gonna continue lying to them?! Jesus H. Christ I can't handle this mess.
35. Starr's actually doing some excellent acting today. There...that's out there. Only compliment I can muster today.
36. Yes, Gigi left. Thank you, baby Jesus.
37. What exactly is this Bo and Nora scene? Where did this convo come from? I'm so confused.
38. Mes...you lying hamster!!! Vaporize!!! NOW! I think I have never loathed a character so much in all of my life. ALL.OF.MY.LIFE.
39. Awe...RH has the wedding pic. Tear. Blair, yes he was stalking you but don't appear threatened. It ain't the first time it has happened to you. Oh sweet lord!!!! A KISS!!!!! YAY! I'd like to thank RH, for single-handedly making me like Blair again (hopefully for good) and for helping me like Starr for this one episode.
40. Ok, I need Bo and Nora alone tomorrow. No Mes please. They are too fabulous for that whore.
41. THIS GUM WRAPPER SHIT IS INSULTING AND I HATE THIS STORYLINE!!! Surely there could have been a better way to determine NQS hurt Matthew! Dammit to hell!!!!!!!! Also, I need someone to knock Mes out with a castiron skillet...right now, please! While she isn't paying attention!
42. I can't believe I haven't said this yet but....poor Tea. I hope she gets a happy ending in all this shit. Whannnnn! Ok so times...I REALLY think TSJ thinks he is Todd and he may not know who RH is. Or at least he is making me think that...
43. STILL kissing! Yay! RH: "I dare you to ever forget me." YES. I LOVE THIS. Thank you, baby Jesus! These scenes were fabu!

Word! Done and now off to get ready! I will do my damndest to comment from work (while I'm secretly doing wedding stuff).

Ciao bellas!

Love y'all, mean it!


  1. Holy Moley that was the best post ever. I'm having trouble typing, I've been laughing so hard....

    Apparently, they have hair color in Heaven. Otherwise, I can't explain how Gigi died a redhead and is blonde as a ghost. Yeah - continuity peeps.

    Go away Nate. Go away Mess.

    Roger - todd, my apartment is much better than Roxy's motel. And less undercover agents breaking in, well, this week anyway....lol You are my man crush, so you know....

    I dare you to forget me - that was the line Todd told Blair that New Years Eve 11 years ago (before 18 year old Starr and 17 year old Jack were born - lol LLanview water)

    Tea,Starr, Blair and Roger shined in this episode. Props to the writers for letting the rest of the cast be quiet and let these pros do their thang! Hawt!

    China Lake - today is a HUGE Bo/Nora day. Enjoy!

    That's about all I've got to say, except I'm DYING for Amanda's (Kimberly Andrews) return! Her first scenes are classic - and the showdown with Vickers, well...


    Arrow Burnside. Ha ha ha. OK RC

  2. You have hit the nail on the head with Starr--she (and Blair) never meshed with the Toad version of Todd--their acting skills have laid dormant for the past 8 years!!

    And somehow Eli must have known this Todd stuff because he sent Blair on this chase. Please React Tomas it was so stupid for him to just stand there

    Daughter pointed out yesterday that Mes' acting has actually gotten worse--can not wrap head around her carrying asa's great grandchild --CAN NOT!!!

    I love spaz Rex, can't help it---when he was rolling around the mansion floor I just kept hearing jack Nicholson I'm baaaaack!!! How do you think they will write him off--just pack up shane and Echo and move to the ranch in Texas??

  3. Hi Mija and Co.,

    Hope All is well...

    As I watched DanYella go back and forth with her geriatric bf... I was wondering, what is the point? Why ask for an explanation for why the dude made a porn with a girl you KNOW he met after you two started dating...

    In a related vein, we just saw the end of the Delgado family...
    Would Tomas dare to flirt with Blair since he has seen her with her soulmate? How will Tea get past her unyielding devotion to TJSTodd, while RHTodd clearly is into Blair? Blair and TSJTodd didn't have the same chemistry as Blair and RHTodd did (TJS is still my favorite).

    Baker is my comedy relief... he talks soooo much junk for someone who has thoroughly botched an allegedly uber-secret operation. I think HE is really Destiny's father as they both share the #icantbediscrete gene. Speaking of which...why did Destiny call Dany??? She had Bo and Nora right in front of her... Tell on Nate! Tell that you are pregnant! ugh!!!

    Rex... please check on the extremely adorable Shane!! He needs you.. don't tell me Roxy and Echo are going to be his only support for losing Gigi..

    Glad you see the greatness that is John McBain... Please don't tie him with Natty... she makes greatness fade...


  4. I thought this was a really good episode, just from the Todd-on-Todd action! I wasn't watching back when RH was on, but I could feel the chemistry between everybody and it was pretty cool...That whole scene was just awesome...

    I think they could have had something keeping both Todds on, no matter which one is which...because Tea has been with nuTodd a lot more and has feelings for him, while Blair had nearly all her relationship with the old Todd...they could have had like a couple vs. couple thing...It just makes me sad to see him go, because he is why I started loving this how in the first place...And McBain...

    That whole gum thing seems like something completely shoehorned into these episodes at the last second and it makes no sense...I have never seen Nate chew gum one time before this mess and when would he have had time to chew gum after knocking Matthew out and arguing...none at all!

  5. Large cow, vaporization, and cast iron skillet all work well for me. GO AWAY, MES! Is it just me or do RSW and HBS look a little uncomfortable? If I'm insulted then I bet they sure as hell are too. This story is lame. It's worse than a bad after school special. SO much potential with Clint/Bo/Nora/Eddie and Matthew but it's all come down to irritating pregnant Destiny and mango gum? WTF? Cannot deal. I need her ass gone like yesterday. I wanted to ff my beloved Bo and Nora today and that's just inexcusable.

  6. Andrea maybe that is how we get rid of Mes--"You are charged with the crime of causing long time viewers to FF through scenes containing Bo and Nora--how do you plead??" I'd say this is much more heinous than killing Eddie Ford!!

  7. DAMN girl - you made me laugh my fool head off with your intro. You are always hilarious, but that was just priceless. RH and ME are burning the place up - they are so commanding, so gorgeous, so hilarious. Just sit down stand up and slap my face baby jesus right here and right now.

    Nothing I can say but that you KNOW I am in seventh frickin' heaven, over the moon and all that jazz. I literally bawled like a damn fool after rewinding Kassie and RH do the lip-lock the 3rd or 4th time. Nostalgia pudding. Butterscotch. YUMMY.

    I DARE you to forget me. Holy hell fire I am done for. I am embarrassed about how happy all this makes me - after 8 years this junkie has finally had her fix - should keep me from bitching for 2 or 3 days at LEAST.

    Loving everyone -

    Young Boots

  8. rac - You are my new BFF. Great minds think alike:). I have never seen anyone bring down my Bo and Nora like this, ever. I would watch them brush their teeth together so that's a strong statement.

  9. Ok I am so effing late to this party. Going to have to do this in two posts since it seems there is a lot...

    @Arrow Burnside Glad you liked it! OMG. Yes, they have hair salons AND department stores since that was a new outfit that bitch had on! Ummm Mes and NQS...giant hippos or flying cows or something...please land on these douchebags! haha! LOVE the RH invitation to your lovely abode! Don't you have connections at OLTL? Make that shit happen! The Llanview water...jesus it is all kinds of contaminated! Crazy shit is always happening! Agreed that Tea, Starr, Blair, and RH did fabu! Ugh...I can't be excited to even watch Bo and Nora because I know what is coming up and I want to puke. =( Ooooh I'm uber anxious about Kimberly's return as well! I think she will be phenom, no doubt! xx China

    @rac OMG right? Starr and Blair were FABU with RH! I mean...fabu! I can't get over how they became enjoyable in one damn episode! Amazing! OMG...Tomas just effing stood there! I mean, that bastard didn't utter a flippin' word! OMG..Mes' acting HAS gotten worse! God, I feel so badly for Hillary Smith and Bob Woods having to be in this storyline with her...cannot deal! Oh, and her carrying Asa's great grandchild...KILL ME! Absurd and insulting thought! Awe...I know you love Rex and I don't hold it against you! ;) HA! Yes, his spastic ass did remind me a bit of Jack now that you mention it. Oh, I heard he married Kimberly Andrews. So he will leave with her, I believe...crazy huh?

    @Akesha Hey darling! You have been missed! I'm doing well...just uber busy. How about you? HAHA! Geriatric BF?! I LOVE IT! Agreed...what is the effing point. Seriously. NQS needs to explode. Oh, and he wanted to do Dayt-en....word. Well, clearly RH/Blair are meant to be and will end up together. They just have that "it" factor. RH and Tea...just no. However, I DO like Tea with TSJ. I know he is leaving and she supposedly is, too, so maybe they leave together? I have no clue. I just want her to be happy, as well. I like TSJ and RH but in completely different ways. However, I have always felt RH is the true Todd...to me. Oh, and Tomas is a flippin' idiot if he keeps making moves on Blair. Ugh. hahahaha!!!!! I'm glad Baker has you in stitches! OMG. YES. HE is indeed Mes' father. Loves it. Ummm, Mes should have told BN. Can't even address that foolishness. My blood pressure rises! OMG Shane is so much cooler than Rex it ain't even funny. Ummm John McBain is THE SHIT! Jesus...I adore this man! God, you know they will pair him with Natty and I will then puke. Woof. Just woof. Nice to hear from you!

    Ok kids...lemme post this and I'll do a second reply.

  10. @YoSammity YES! The whole damn thing was awesome! The Todd stuff REALLY came to a head. Man, the last time the Palace ballroom has provided this much drama was the Rex paternity fallout in November...word! Awe, I know. I wish that they could somehow make RH and TSJ both stay. I hope Tea and TSJ stay together since clearly RH's place is with Blair. I love that TSJ and McBain got you watching! Hells yes! Ok, so I can't discuss this NQS chewing gum foolishness! You know how I feel...came out of nowhere! Dumb as shit! WOOF!

    @Andrea UGH...this story is atrosh and dripping in mango flavored shit! Hate it! I mean you there is no way Hillary and Bob are into this story...just NO! It is beyond insulting. Now that this shit is going on, I need them to have at least one good story before the show is over. So insulting! I mean...propping Mes!? REALLY!? Her acting is so terrible! It doesn't even improve in scenes with them...she is that bad.

    @rac Omigod, please send that to OLTL. EXACTLY! I mean...for me not to enjoy a Bo and Nora scene...egregious and all Mes' fault!

    @Young Boots haha! Glad you liked the intro! Ummm RH and ME are a damn supercouple! Seriously...they sizzle! I just can't get enough! Slap me baby Jesus is right! WORD!I'm glad you enjoyed your butterscotch nostalgia pudding...yumm-o! The KDP and RH kiss was all kinds of smokin'. When I see those two I actually think of you since I know you adore them so much. I know...8 years! That is a long time! I felt the same way with Bo and Nora after 10...good God. It took me going through high school, college, and law school for those two to get back together so I understand! Now is your time! Oh, and still bitch if you want too. I would. xx

    @Andrea Oh, I told Ross the other day that I would rather watch Bo and Nora read the phone book than be in scenes with Mes. He thinks I'm crazy and I don't care. UGH!