Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Do They Serve Miller High Life Ponies AT The Pony? If so...I'm Sooooo There!

Kim: "Clint when I get back from Marty's Labor Day BBQ I'll give you a lap dance. You'll love it."

Happy Tuesday! Firstly...hope all you east coasters are alright! Lord..an earthquake?! Craziness! And...not to mention, SCARY! So, I hope you are reading this on steady ground! Ok lemme crank out a post about Monday's episode...then I have to make dinner. Then I'm going to do Tuesday's post...word! K, let's do this. Only have a short window before I have to go and channel my inner Barefoot Contessa!

Monday, August 22nd--Marty Has Agreed to Invite Kim to Her Labor Day BBQ. Word.

Sadly, in high school I would been drinking actual booze. Starr and Dan-YELLA...go steal some shit. Y'all deserve a shot or something after this Todd mess. Lawd.

Jesus...may I just say watching OLTL on Soapnet is horrible! The picture quality is shit.

TSJ is killing it. I mean...day 50 of EXCELLENCE with this storyline. Okay 50 was a bit dramatic but you get the drift...

Well...NuJack just needs to die and I don't know what else more I can add. It's as simple as that...

Aaaand they are going to show the Jess/Ford kiss AGAIN. Of course. I still hate her shirt.

Word! I'm pumped about The Pony shit.

Oh snap! Times...y'all do know that OLTL is getting a new opening right?! How exciting! Not sure if they are updating the pics but dear God...that needs to be the FIRST thing they do! These people do NOT look like that anymore! Word.

KIIIIIIIMMMMMMMM!!!!!! I'm actually excited to that little pole dancer.

I would love to know what is going on inside Roger Howarth's head as he does the scenes with NuJack. Poor Roger...he's too good for this foolishness.

I'll comment on the Starr and Dan-YELLA scenes when I give a shit. Right now I don't...

Tea's true blue and will stick by Victor. I feel it. Or, at least I think I do.

Kim's lookin' fierce!

Omigod...AGAIN....Monica Quartermaine still all up in the GH promo. Obviously something is awry. Cray Cray!

Jessica is smart about one thing: Frozen Peas. Those things are fabu when injured! On another note, I'm YAWNING during these Jess/Ford scenes. Good God. Even Jess punching Ford didn't give me any excitement...WOOF!

In other news: RH is killing it, too! I just hate THIS Jack. PLEASE can we get the old Jack back. God...he was faaaabulous! Too bad I've never gotten to say this before: "You tried to give me away to nuns! In a Mexican airport!" I mean...awesome story. I have no cool stories like that about my life. *Le sigh*

Starr...I mean you have a kid for crying out loud and your mom owns the joint. Please go sneak some booze! I know...most of you are frowning upon my encouragement but if I were in Starr's shoes I'd take advantage. Sorry. Snap...Dan-YELLA just got Starr about her changing her mind! I kinda want Dan-YELLA to yell at Starr. No, I do. I actually want her to yell at her. No reason. I'd just enjoy it.

Guess who else is killing it? Tea. Word. Ah...I KNEW it! She is gonna stick by TSJ! YAY!!!!

Aaand why am I tearing up when Tea called TSJ her partner and her soulmate. I am such a douche. Victory! Victorious! Awe...sweet. I love it. And Tea loves TSJ. Everyone smile.

Starr...STFU. I don't want to even acknowledge you today. AHHHH...God a reference to the Spring Fling! Best.Storyline.Ever! Good God! When Soapnet starts airing classic episodes in September I NEED them to air the Spring Fling stuff and ALL the fallout. Word.

I love it...Todd said there is more to the story than Mexican nuns. Lol.

Ok so Kim is saying she misses Stacy. Hmmm....I don't buy it. What I do buy...that Kim is genuinely worried/upset about Clint. Those two had chemistry in a weird way I'm telling you! Or...at least I thought so. Aaaand I STILL want to know what Vickers did to make Kim leave.

Aaaand I'm yawning. Thank God my ass poured a large glass of wine (in my new Bordeaux wine glasses! Yay for wedding presents) in order to get through the Ford/Tess scenes.

Omigod...I would have loved it if Kim were Rex's step-mother! ha! Almost as hilar as Nora (whannn...where is she?) being Dorian's step mother-in-law. Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Ugh...I hate how Victor and NuJack say McPain. Ugh. WOOOOORRRRRDDDD!!!! You lay down that fat hand, RH! Way to go! PLEASE...as you tell NuJack to not call you Scarface I'd love it if you just took him out right now. Please. You would be a superhero in my eyes! Even more so than McBain...begging you! Aaaand, now I have to take a few steps back. Yes, we can all blame Victor for not raising Jack properly and him turning into a douche but...hey you crazy kid...we can't forget everyone's favorite nympho, Blair Cramer. I mean...her parenting skills are shit. RH...Blair deserves some blame in the raising "NuJack into a shitastic citizen" department. Sorry dude...just sayin'.

Ok so now Kim is being weird so Stacy is probs alive. Word. UGH...these scenes are too damn short! WOOOOOOOFFFFF!

Jess/Ford...I just fell asleep.

I want Dan-YELLA to throw her drink in Starr's face. Yes, they are both making points but I just want Starr to have a drink thrown in her face.

I'm actually smiling as I watch the Victor/Tea scenes. Sweet. Aaaand they are gonna have sex I'm sure. Lord...

UGH!!!!! I am pulling my damn hair out!!!!! God, I hate NuJack.

Heirarchy of Evil:
1. Mes
2. NQS (aka Buster--his porn name. Desi reminded me of it and I'll call him that!)
3. NuJack
***I will pay ANYONE handsomely (monetary, sexual...you name it) to take these effers out!!!!*** UGH.

I mean...KZ's hubs FITS the damn part of a strip joint manager. Mercy! Awe...Kim still cares about Clint. Sha.

Hmmm...I haven't read anything spoiler wise on all this but I am just curious if Tess comes out and stays permanently? Or, does Jess just fall for Ford? I'm not sure.

I'm curious if there will be a Christian Vega cameo this episode. Possibly last segment? White shirt and all. hehe.


Yep...Victor and Tea are off to do it. Good for them. Snap! There is RH with the gun that Blair basically handed to him. Get the f*@k out!!!! Victor and Tea lock their front door?!?! Vicki and Dorian...take lessons!!!! Jesus! I can't believe my damn eyes! Wow...Tea has on nothing from the waist up except possibly pasties. Hmmm...

It's summertime....the front door is wide open at Llanfair. Hmmm. I know it's Pennsylvania and not Louisiana but I still bet bugs are flying in...lord have mercy. Aaaand that's all I have to say about these scenes. I'm more interested in the bug situation...

Cha ching! $$$! Payday, Farah Fath! You just got a check for being a ghost for all of a hot second in the last segment. Good for you!

F*@k a duck. I bet that is Stacy. Woof. I haven't heard on Crystal Hunt coming back so I wonder what/how this will all play out.

UGHHHHHHH. Woof on Starr and Fred the Magic Frog.

Aaaaand FAIL. Victor and Tea had to leave one effing door unlocked so they kept the back one open. Jesus Christ. Security systems, Llanview!!!! PLEASE! Ugh. I was so pumped they locked the front door and then that all got shot to hell...woof.

Well we all know RH ain't gonna shoot Victor and Tea. I mean...he needs to GTFO. He just got his life back! Don't be a loose cannon!

Okie dokie! I'm off to go cook Ross dinner and I'll blog later this evening. Ciao!



  1. So the president ruined yesterday's episode, and the earthquake ruined today's episode. Thank gawd I have this blog to catch up on what happened in the middle! Stupid news. Can you imagine if Rex really was the father of Sierra Rose and married Stacy that Kim would have been Stacy's mother-in-law? Technically, if Kim and Clint get back together, that would make her Dorian's step-aunt. I actually really liked Kim and Clint together and was sad when she left. Hated Stacy though. Hope they aren't going to bring her back, but it certainly looks like they will. Also, how does Rex know how Sierra Rose is doing at all? Do you really think he keeps in touch with Fish and Kyle? Or maybe it's because they come once a week for high tea with Renee, Addie and Hope in his attic.

  2. Married Mija - I always would rather watch OLTL on my computer than on SoapNet - just a suggestion.

    I was just plain mad when dumb-as-a-stick Blair left that safe all open and inviting. I had been so thrilled that she got all bad-ass on Todd with getting out the gun and trying to drill in some sense, and then she has to pull that idiotic move. Ugh. At least they still have that crazy T&B chemistry which makes it just not matter how much of an idiot either one of them is at any given moment. Lord I wish I could bottle that - or even be able to predict that. I would be rich rich rich.

    Thought of you when Victor Jr made the ottoman mention LOL.

    Tea is just so freaking incredible all around - and I am glad she is standing by her man. My thoughts exactly Tea! The worst shit Todd did to you were not actually done by VJ. It is good news! And it makes this love affair make SO much more sense.

    I have been very concerned about how these scenes would go between Todd and Jack. Honestly, I did think there was a miniscule improvement in his performance here, but GOOD LORD that boy needs a LOT of schooling. Not sure there is enough schooling in the universe for this kid to make him at all palatable ultimately.

    Todd - of all the crap things you have pulled in your life to have regret over - calling your turd of a son an "obnoxious little brat" is not one of them.

    Dani really needs some family counseling with all this insane who's your Daddy mess, poor thing. And may I just add that my entire life I have wanted to have a head of hair like Dani's.

    Hmmmm - it will be interesting to hear Todd's version of why he didn't murder his brother. Clearly for Tea's sake, but was it that he overheard the pillow talk and can't stomach hurting Tea by killing her true love? Or was he afraid he would accidentally shoot Tea too since they were all entwined as they were? Not a big deal I guess - just am always such a sucker for signs of redemption or spiritual growth on the part of my anti-heroes.

    Good lord I need to get back to work! Ciao!!

    Young Boots