Tuesday, March 22, 2011

It's Tuesday So Charlie's an Ass Hat (or any day for that matter)

Charlie: "Yeah Echo, Vicki is too polite to say it but she found out about us and cut my balls off."
Echo: "Oh Chuckles is that true?"
Vicki: "I'm afraid so."

Hello Hello! Sorry I'm a tad late. Ross' aunt and uncle were in town so I had to go to dinner after work then I actually had to do work for awhile once I got home. Grrr. I'm going to post/watch simultaneously since I've gotten such a late start (sorry for those who don't like it when I do this...try not to do it all the time. I'll try to organize a bit tonight if I can). I pray today is good. I didn't see any previews from yesterday so I'm in for a surprise. Let's do this...

Wait y'all...timeout. I cannot for the life of me find pics from each day's episode anymore! Dammit! I'm having to be as creative as possible (at the end of a long day so my creativity is basically shit), but I'm kinda pissed with Facebook. They used to update a new pic daily...get with it OLTL fb page! You're crampin' my style!

Natalie's in another Juicy Couture suit. Hmmm. These have to be her own. Yep...Brody was sweet singing to the baby. No doubt.

Holy shit balls! Christian is on for two days in a row!!! Whoa! Oh, and yesterday when Tess ran to Cutter's car it was light out and now it is magically dark?! REALLY?!

Icky! Chuckles+Echo+Minuteman=the need for nausea mediation, chicken soup, and Powerade because I'm f*@king ill. OMG...this makeout is disgusting and made even worse by that cest pool that is the Minuteman.

Whoa...Vicki in Dorian's bedroom! Damn right, Vicki! Way to go..."Well, Dorian you let yourself into Llanfair whenever you please." Now will you please tell the rest of the mother effing town to stay out of your house!!! Please! If Bo and Nora are gonna be absent, then thank God I get a Vicki/Dorian scene. Although I hope B/N are on.

Yay! Clint is on! Hello Handsome! LOL!!! In reference to Nigel: "In his burrow, under his afghan, watching "Access Llanview'." HILAR! God...they have talked this show UP, huh?!

Dammit!!!! No Bo and Nora today...ugh!

Hmmmm Tess and Cutter. I need to see more of this. Of course, there is Ford running after her acting concerned. Wonder if he will run after Langston's plane as it takes off bound for LAX?! Hmmmm? And...I'm assuming the baby has now switched to formula and not breast milk? Inez has the formula with her at her apt. since she is keeping the baby, right? Right.

OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Nooooooooo! I'm pretty sure I could go prostitute myself in the worst part of Chicago for a month and I'd be cleaner than the Minuteman motel's doorknob. Why are people going there CONSTANTLY!!! Thank God. When Tess asked for a drink and Cutter said "over there" I almost lost it thinking there would be a damn mini-bar over there like the one John McBain had in his room. Thank God it was just cheap vodka. Oh, and that trash reptile jewelry needs to go! I kinda like Tess and Cutter. Oh damn...Cutter just said "Hurd dat." WHO ARE YOU?!

God Vickers, drop the gun. You look as threatening as the tooth fairy with that gun. Man...Vickers is on fire today with the one liners. "Mr. Vickers you are a stain on this planet." LOL...Clint's on fire, too. DAMN! And, he put the gun to his chest and told Vickers to shoot! Ross' testimonial during the episode: "Clint is so badass." I concur. He is so choice.

WHOA! Look at all those toys in the living room at Llanfair! Like Liam is really playing with the toy fire truck! He is too small...unbelievable! Ok...don't shoot, bludgeon or curse me but...I think Natalie and Brody have good chemistry and I kinda like them together. I do. :)

Hmmm these scenes at Capricorn are interesting. Ok...so it's abundantly clear that Rama doesn't miss Vimal. There is no way.

Oh dear God...poor Vicki. My heart is about to break. Dorian's looks are PRICELESS. You better tell her Mayor Lord! I can't have Vicki messed with anymore...NOT having it!

Eh...no. No. No. No. I am just not down with the Echo/Charlie love scenes. It's not the age thing by any means...do it like bunnies all you want. I think I am just against sex at this motel. Oh, and that he is cheating on Queen V. But, I REALLY loathe the motel. Charlie reminds me of that one dumb cartoon character that's dumb compared to the others...like Goofy or something. You know just walking around scratching his head and spouting off nonsense in a weird voice?Whoa...that didn't make sense but you see where I'm going with this. I can always just say "no talent ass clown" but I am trying to find something a bit more defined.

Yeah...Christian is like an appendix at this point...or tonsils whatever. He is useless and can be removed if needed. Never want to do it but sometimes you have to.

UGH! Clint don't talk about Bo and Nora! Oooohhhh ok so the Buch mansion background at night looks sooooo much better!!! No doubt Renee helped with this. ;)

Dammit Dorian don't lie! POOR VICKI! God, that is ALL I have said for a damn month! OMG...guilt trip. I want to cry immediately. "Sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you." OMG Vicki you are not human. You are too perfect for this earth. Dear God.

Yeah...I am liking Brody and Natty together. I'm still livid with Natty's lies and everyone else defending her...BUT they are good together.

Of course, Inez will stay with Ryder. Is Nate helping with the bambino? Did Inez ever get a job? Hmmm.

Joey...your nanny obviously let you out of her sight! Get back on your tri-cycle and go home! Do you remember how to get there?! Geez...wow, it takes Robert Ford telling you that Aubs is a gold digger. This is such a screwed up town...

So Cutter is now Scarlett O'Hara?! He is quoting "Gone with the Wind" with all this "tomorrow is another day" crap to Tess yet he said "hurd dat" earlier. Make up your mind, punk!

Whoa...are they testing the chemistry with Christian/Rama??? Hmmm.

Come on, Joey. Please say something to Aubs....YES!!! He just asked her if she dated Ford. AND asked her about the $$$ issue.

Charlie, you are killing me. "It won't always be like this?!" WTF are you saying Chuckles Banks?! I want to drive nails up my arm. These two together are ridiculous! I mean...they rival teenagers. I have never seen Charlie kiss Vicki like that...EVER! Hell, Echo and Alex Olanov have gotten better make-out sessions than Vicki and Nora....FACT!

Oh Dorian...are you gonna continue to lie? Ugh...yes. Everyone is lying to Vicki!!! Sonofabitch!

Well...thank God for Tess taking the pic. Eff me. Finally something...

I don't buy Aubs' explanation about Ford to Joey for one f*@king minute. She is so transparent. I want Kelly to kick her ass.

Yeah...this was a Chris/Rama chemistry test. However, I didn't see enough.

Ugh....there you are Charlie, you piece of shit! Ok...compliment: AT LEAST he went to shower before he touched Vicki and got Echo germs all over her. Vicki is too pristine for those cooties!

LOL...does Dorian have ANY mayoral duties?! She doesn't do shit all day. Except now have sex with David and have champagne and strawberries. Now...getting married. YAY...but, how are they gonna do this?! I keep asking and no one knows. Vickers is gonna have to go back to Desperate Housewives. Is he gonna be on the show but off camera a la Fish and Kyle? Or is he gonna pull some stupid stunt and leave town and then Dorian is left despondent?! Hmmm.

Free Marty!!! Free Marty!!! Free Marty!!! Thought...does she have anyone getting her mail or newspapers from her house? Cole is not there. Who is watching her home? Hmmm.

Eh...the previews look a bit dismal. Woof. I have a feeling the fab five are absent.

See y'all late tomorrow night!!! Have a lovely one!

kiss kiss,


  1. "Free Marty!!! Thought...does she have anyone getting her mail..." Prime example of why I love this blog. That and the "fab five" references.

    So ready for Charlie to be gone.

  2. sorry you have to recap some of the crap (charlie and echo/nu-jack) that I just fast forward through!!

    Ford will NEVER be redeemed for me he disgusts me.

    I know this isn't popular but i like Aubs, she and Rama are a "hoot" together.

    I can't stand Kelly cougaring for joey--plus how can the Buchs stand her--Joey to Kevin to Duke--just gross. But the thing that bothers me most--she and this Joey have zero chemistry.

    Your column is the best :)

  3. Wait, so Kelly supposedly went to the same high school as Aubrey and Rama? LMAO! Maybe 10 years before they did. Did they just SORAS Aubrey? Now she's Cutter's "big sis"? Is that so it can be believable that she went to high school with Kelly? Or are they trying to pretend that Kelly is younger than she is? This new Joey is definitely about 10 years younger than the previous Joey/Rick Castle. Aubrey, Rama and Joey all look like they are my age or only slightly older. Does anyone know if the actor who plays Vimal has been given the heave-ho or if he will actually ever get out of prison? Maybe to find his wife in bed with Christian? (At least he'll have a storyline.) Starr seemed to go to see Cole all the time in prison. Why doesn't Rama go there and see Vimal?

  4. I also like Brody and Natalie. When she is Brody I don't feel like smacking her, plus Brody obviously cares for Natalie and is ready to take responsibility for Liam.

    I am so pissed that I have to watch everyone but Bo and Nora make out. AH! I guess married couples can't be all over each other. Damnit! I need to see them at least touch each other! It's been weeks!

  5. @Christie haha...OMG, the "whose getting Marty's mail" thing is bothering me! No one else cares about her, I feel. Someone needs to be taking care of this! OMG...the FAB FIVE are indeed that! A sense of relief/excitement runs over me when I know they are on all together...or any of them really. But even better when all at once! Glad you like the blog. Makes my day!

    @rac Gosh it it TOUGH to write about the whole show sometimes! I know today the bullying storyline is on and I'm just going to LOATHE it. Ugh! Agreed...Rama and Aubs are a hoot. I'd rather see them than the teens...for damn sure! haha...yeah, I'm STILL not over Kelly and Duke. I have the biggest crush on Dan Gauthier's Kevin...lurve him! Glad you think the blog is great! Thank! :)

    @Desi hahaha! Yes! Same high school my ass.They are so confusing with the age stuff with this group. I can't even think about old Joey because I miss him so damn much! OMG I wondered the SAME thing about Vimal. I haven't heard of him being on contract...or Rama. But, of course, they have NuJack on contract...INFURIATING!!!! And, we have no idea how long Vimal is supposed to stay in Statesville or what. They are kinda dropping the ball with all that. Hmmm

    @MojoMiller good! I'm not the only one with the Natty/Brody vibe. Whew! I was scared I was going to get jumped! Ummmm....I need Bo and Nora to just high five at this point! Dear God OLTL, throw me a bone and give me SOMETHING! I'm dying for a hug tomorrow when she tells Bo she was at the motel the night Eddie was killed. Let's all pray. They can even wrap pinkies like they did when they were getting back together in '09...I don't care at this point..something!

  6. Hi Mary-Ella (or should I say Mija? Haha!!),

    First, let me say that I am not one that typically comments on message boards and the like, but I could not resist when I discovered your blog! It is fantastic and a great read after watching what is often times lately a total crapfest of a show (i.e., when the teen scene dominates the entire hour).

    I am also a huge Bo and Nora fan - love them to pieces, and I seriously made the exact same comment that you did above (about needing Bo and Nora to just high five at this point) to a friend of mine who also watches the show. I mean, come on, back in the 90s, if one of them even came back from the grocery store, they would be all over each other. Bo gets back from Morocco, and they barely make eye contact?! Give me an effing break - lol!

    And, finally, I thought I should share that I am also a native of Louisiana - New Iberia, but I live in Texas now. I graduated from LSU (in '04), too (Geaux Tigers)!!

    Anyway, that was longer than I intended! Looking forward to your post on today's episode!! Thanks for taking time out of your day to post!!

  7. @heather GET OUT!!! You are from new Iberia! I'm from rural kinda north LA (Ferriday) and Ross is from NOLA. God, I'm sure we crossed paths at LSU. Hell, I'm sure we may know some of the same people (I had a few girls from NI in my sorority...not many though). I finished undergrad in '06. Too funny! We still go down for games and stuff and to visit. Headed there next month actually.

    So glad you decided to go against the norm and post. Much appreciated! I'm thrilled you like the blog. Ummm yeah the teen scene...today (Wednesday) was a prime example of their terribleness.

    OMG...always LOVE to find another B/N fan! You are sooo right about them being all over each other just after a grocery store run and not as much of "hi" when he comes back from Morocco. Unacceptable and Unbelievable (for these two characters at least)! I'm praying for high five tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

    Thanks so much for posting! Icing on the cake you went to LSU.

  8. @Heather, Yay! I get so excited when I know I'm not the only 20-something who watches soap operas lol. I feel like all my friends tease me about it, and now I can say that there are plenty of us out there. ;-)

  9. @Desi, Totally! I also get excited when I find fellow 20-somethings that love soaps like I do! Don't let those friends get to you with their teasing - my own mother even picks on me for watching (I still love her, though)!! Lol!!

  10. @Mary-Ella, We more than likely crossed paths at LSU - I did frequent the Tigerland bar scene back in the day when I was not working and studying! I have been back quite often to tailgate!! I would ask you who you knew from NI, but I don't want to put names on here because you never know!! I would message you, but I am new to this blog thing and cannot figure out how - lol!!

    Thanks for the comment - I shall post on the craptastic episode of today in the appropriate location!! And my fingers, toes, and other body parts are crossed for some B/N "contact" tomorrow, but I may not hold my breath on that!!

  11. @heather I frequented it, too. I'm sure we have seen one another...too funny! Hell, I don't even know how to message on here. I do this blog and hardly know ANYTHING about blogging. Beyond sad. I'm actually terrible with computers..
    Ah...B/N "contact." Reminds me of the Georgie fiasco and they were fighting and Bo said they always have to make contact when they pass one another. So adorbs.

  12. @heather but you can always email me if you want!

  13. @Mary-Ella, what is your email address? Is it on here? I cannot find it. I am not tech/blog/computer - savvy at all!! I'll get the hang of it one of these days!

  14. @Heather It should be on here. I'm not sure what readers see because I am logged in. My email address is maryella.green@gmail.com. Or, you can message me on Facebook. You can search "Mary-Ella Green."