Rama: "Wow. You married a dumb duck, Aubs. I just showed Joey this pic of 'Aubrey Wentworth' and he said it looked JUST like you. I think he has a disability."
Thank God it's ALMOST Friday! This week has damn near destroyed me from exhaustion alone...oh, and the whole hardly eat carbs thing. I couldn't tell you the last time I ate bread! So...let's get this low carb post started, shall we? I'll do a drive by of yesterday's and a full one of today. I'd hit the potty first because this post will be LONGGGGG. Or you can just take breaks from it...you choose! ;)
1. OMG...kill me!!! Any way you want! Bury me alive...throw me to the damn wolves...I don't care! Any option is better than having to watch this shitty new Jack Manning on my screen! Yes...I KNOW I don't like to discuss the actors themselves but there are exceptions...this is one of those times. He and his two sidekicks are soooo stiff! I think there are cue cards by the camera for them to read from...surely! The other little douche is just as worse. The girl is just pitiful. While I'm at it...
2. This storyline SUCKS ass! So....they are giving Shane this hard of a time because he has asthma?! What? Ok. Even if this is believable, the way these bullies are "bullying" Shane is dumb as hell. Oh...and they are going to make this Beth girl be used as a sex object? Ugh. Sad. Lame. Boring. These little nit-wits infuriate me.
3. Wait...WTF? Wasn't Gigi supposed to be shot? Ugh. Apparently not.
4. Whoa!!! The John/Brody scenes! These were GREAT! The best scenes today by far! Actually, when John got in Brody's face and Kelly interfered...John's finger to Kelly's face was hilarious. This man is unstoppable. Where have you been for a few years, huh? John was ON FIRE!!!!! Preach it! LOL..."You're a weasel, Brody." I love using the word "weasel."
5. WHAT?! Is this Vicki Banks on today? Queen V is perfectly alright with everyone cheating and sleeping with everyone. I know this woman is more than understanding and forgiving but she has shown ZIPO, NADA, ZERO frustration with Natalie and her actions...and everyone else involved. She's like oh you were in love and made a mistake...it's ok, darling.
6. This Toad being shot thing sucks (LOL...every time I type "shot" I type "shit" by accident first. I think that would be more fitting) and is totally not enjoyable in any way shape or form.
7. Tomas' gunshot wound looks like a scratch. NOT believable. What is it with men that Blair is attracted to getting wounded and letting no one know and fixing themselves at the hospital? Eli just did this. Ugh.
8. Jelly scenes...thumbs up.
9. I don't like the Blair mid-show bumper. Which is a shame because I like Blair.
10. James was sweet with Starr. I'm not elaborating...take it or leave it.
11. And...this episode kinda sucked.
Oh, thank the soap gods! I'm instantly comforted with Nora, Vicki, Clint, Bo, and Dorian. Maybe it's the luck of the Irish that the fab five were all on today? Whatevs...I'll take it! I'm doing a thorough blog/watch simultaneously.
And...that pic of Bo on Nora's phone...too effin' presh! "This all seems to be happening to you at once." That's right, Nora! Your friend Vicki is STRUGGLING! How has she not turned Jean Randolph at this point?!
Dorian looks hot today! Maybe because she has her hair all cute and no hat...lurve it!
Clint is so badass and Joey is a lost little duck. (That just came to my mind...no significance with there being a lot of lost ducks that are stupid.) SURELY Renee is finished doing the backdrop to the Buch mansion?! Where is it?! Still looks like puke. Or some shit someone at an insane asylum would draw. Hideous!
Nice...Alex tied up and still looking fierce. Bo...looks soooo handsome even in the SAME clothes he has had on for days. I'm ok with this. Awe...he and David are kinda sweet.
Aubs/Cutter...someone step on my toe...repeatedly and preferably with a steel-toed boot!! I'm tired of them together. I prefer them separate and interacting with other people.
I know I'll be able to handle Lang today because the fab five are on to balance it out. Lang's crying is believable...good on ya, girlfriend!
Tess/Ford...love them! WHOA! Ford just said "selfiss bitch." I thought at first he said "selfless" which would have made no damn sense but I rewound it..."selfiss." Sonofabitch!!! He's hanging around Lang too much with that "impor-ent" business. What is up with the phonetics lab at OLTL? Hooked on Phonics DOES work! Buy that shit, OLTL! These kids need it!
Vicki/Nora...the show remembered for about the 3rd or 4th time since December they are friends...I'm touched. Now...if they can just remember that Marty has friends we will be in business. Hmm.
That's right Bo...you and Vickers are gonna nail Clint! Ummmm....yeah, let's hope so. I just don't see Clint getting nailed. In all fairness, if anyone is gonna "nail" him it needs to be Aubs. He deserves it...even with all his wrongdoings as of late. I mean sex...not sure if I was clear.
OMG...Nora just said "wait for it...Moroccan prison." God...as if I couldn't love her any more than I already do...I do! I love that phrase! Vicki's reaction with "good God why" was hysterical.
Surprise number two of the week. Y'all ready for this? I am enjoying the...wait for it (ha)...Langston and Dorian scenes. Yup! They are a believable duo today. Rare occasion that it is...
Wait...do y'all think Ford maybe likes Tess now? Maybe. I think he is starting to.
Joey...God bless America. You are a dumb duck, beaver, hedgehog, whatever you want to call it. "Just like you and Kelly are close?" Yeah...you and Kelly used to bang all the time and Cutter and Aubs are banging now!!!! Someone slip him a note with the truth on it. Please. AH!!!! RAMA! Hi, you delicious cocktail you! Where ya been?!
Noooo!!!!! That fake/new lawyer sucks donkey balls! Why is he on so much lately?! He and that terrible ER doctor...woof!
Oooohhh....so I'm assuming Rama is totally talking about the REAL Aubrey Wentworth! Nice. Whoa....Joey just said "Aubs." Are you reading my blog, little duck? Are you?!
Awe...Vicki is happy for Dorian. Tear!
I.Want.Dorian's.Bedroom. I LURVE it! So chic! It actually reminds me of my cousin's room. I'm so jealous right now.
God...Alex come back FULL TIME! Prostitute yourself with the writers if you have to...we NEED you back! Do whatever you can to return to us! God...that shirt Rex has on! It looks like it is from a 1990's Janet Jackson video...like "Rhythm Nation" but...at the beach. Wow...Bo let Vickers go after Rex...nice.
OMG!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE in Llanview has French press coffeemakers! WTF is going on?! Was there some HUGE sale at Williams-Sonoma?
Clint just gets better..."go have sex in the booth for all I care." Actually silver fox, I wouldn't say that. These little STD carriers will soooo take you up on that offer. Poor girl serving omelets will be scarred for life. I'd retract that statement! I liked the quote so much I used it as my title. And...I've said something similar on several occasions but never about a booth. Hmmm. Also...Clint frequenting the Buenos Dias is just not believable. As if their food is better than Nigel's?! Please bitches...as if!
That's it. I don't care if I have to use some kid's tricycle...I'm gonna run over Joey's ass today! YES!!! You most certainly do need something you can blackmail Aubrey with...UGH!!!
That's right, Rama. A shopping spree! Aubs probably went to go buy a bunch of STD medication and creme for all the diseases she is carrying...woof! Don't get too jealous. She was at the drug store, not Dolce and Gabbana.
So...I'm assuming that Nora just told Vicki everything. Oh...yes she did. Vicki's HILAR today!!!! "Oh.My.God." I love saying it like that! I swear the writers are reading my mind with some of these phrases.
And...yeah, Ford def likes Tess. He is romanticizing this whole mom/dad thing since he never had it.
The lipstick on Bo's shirt is driving me CRAZY!!!!! I need that stain removed...immediately!
OMG...Vickers button up is uber tight!
Oh F*@k....Dorian/Cutter and sex in the air. Vomit. I am not havin' this!
David: LET BO CALL DORIAN!!!!!!!! She is just going to hang up on you, dipshit!
Joey: "Is there something wrong?" Ummm....yes! You have the brain of a rubber chicken!!!
Vicki/Clint...their regalness knows no bounds!!! Oh God...Nora representing them. This won't be good. New douche in town, Gabriel the lawyer or whatever the hell his name is, has all that scoop on Clint now. Ugh. On a sidenote, how about you now think about NOT being the D.A. You took this position in 2005 when Coulson left...and ummmm the show SUCKED!!! Please writers make her a defense attorney!!! She'll win another Emmy, for sure!
Helen is wayyyyy to excited to see Cutter! Why do people like him?! DAMMIT! He is a walking CRAB (of the STD variety...not Atlantic ocean)!
I'm not excited about Dorian/Cutter sex.
Bo giving ladies advice...lurve it. Vickers is so much taller than Bo.
WAIT!!!! Is this Alex's last day?! I think it is! That's it?! What the hell?! That ended terribly. She basically didn't talk today. No, OLTL, No! Fix this!!! Bring her back again. Sonofabitch.
Vicki's one reactions/one liners with Nora made the show. PERF!!! Loves her!
Good episode today! Gosh, all it takes is the fab five to make it good.
I miss Marty!!! And where are Destiny and Matthew?! I'm sure he is somewhere with too much hair gel on and being mean to Destiny. Ugh.
Gonna try and respond to a few comments now. I'll have a post up either tomorrow night or Saturday for Friday's episode. Glad to be back on here!
Hope you kiddies are having a great Thursday and have a fun weekend planned! Happy St. Patty's Day! It's crazy here...big celebration! I'm not into green beer...sticking with wine. ;)
Until next time...