And The Killer Who No Doubt Stayed Dry Despite the Rain Is??????

TSJ: "Don't worry...I'll make sure to keep Gigi busy so she won't keep popping up in Llanview all the time. I also assure you that I won't shop at the same department store she does."

Firstly, I'm a big liar! Ugh. I am sorry I couldn't respond to comments yet. I wasn't at my computer at work yesterday. Then after work my friend and I got mani/pedis (OPI Cajun Shrimp on toes and OPI Bubble Bath on nails...FYI) and then I got home and had to cook, etc. However, I'll be at my computer today so I will respond to comments I promise! =)

Okie dokie...lemme go on and do this since I'm pressed for time.

Tuesday, August 30th--Marty's Too Depressed to Blog About Victor's Death...WHANNN!!!

Raise your hand if you feel insulted every damn time you see Gigi's picture on the mantle where Asa's pic should be...

Ugh...I ain't in the mood for Starr today.

Liam is the star of the show! Y'all...I cannot handle it! I need him in my house!

Omigod I am so sad that TSJ is leaving. I can't believe I am this bothered but I am. In more depressing news: Why in the hell am I borderline enjoying NuJack sticking with Victor. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?! He is still a little bastard and I want him gone but I kind of enjoyed him standing by Victor and that's all I can say...

I want Tea and Tomas to get into a heated argument and spout of some Spanish.

What?! Who is that woman in Bo's office?! She didn't even ask if she could come in and sit on his couch. Lord...obviously I'm joking but Jesus...I think I forgot what Nora looked like! It's been over 2 weeks. Thank you baby Jesus she is on today...AND in a new dress/cardigan. Word. Affection overload. So adorbs and I don't even know what to say! I'm surprised OLTL let them touch...Jesus!

Snap! So it is raining and there is real movement and what not in the trees! So it looks like real trees and not like the background that a 4-year old drew....nice.

I'll ask this again...why do they dress Blair in high-waisted pants?! Also, why in the hell doesn't ANYONE bring an umbrella or raincoat with them when it is pouring down rain and thundering and lightning?! WTF. Thirdly, why did James have to surface this episode? Just why? I don't feel like discussing them. I do like Starr's outfit. That's all...

My God! Please introduce me to the fabulous people that produced Liam. I mean...I need to know what it takes to produce a child like this so let me meet the source. Peeing...I thought Brody said: "Victor's the only one left. He has to be stuffed." ha! Obviously he said "stopped" but I had to rewind to check. Ugh...so they are making Brody crazy and using his Navy Seal card...I've killed before but that was war thing. UGH. I hate this.

I like the color of Tea's cardigan and would like to use that for an LSU game. Nice. I also lurve that Tea is sticking by Victor! WORD!

Bo and Nora match...lots of khaki! Lordy I don't need to cry this morning. All this Matthew talk and milkshakes. In all seriousness, what are they going to do with Matthew? I'm do damn tired of him wasting away off screen in Philly. For what reason? Exactly...NONE. FAIL FAIL FAIL. God, I'm so glad Bo and Nora are back on today. Bo is so fabulous to the point I can't handle it. I also think I just fainted when they kissed! ADORBS. So somehow Nora knows all about this Victor/Todd foolishness? I would love her with RH at some point!

I can't focus on the Rex and Shane scenes because I keep looking at the real background at the Buch mansion and I'm just beside my damn self. This needed to happen YEARS ago. YEARS!

Blair is as dry as a bone. How? Why? Exactly. Yes, she has on a coat but it ain't a raincoat. And, why in the world would she be wearing that coat in August. It ain't early spring...that would be understandable.

I'd rather watch a documentary on the life cycle of worms than this Starr/James shit. That's all I got.

Wait...I just noticed that it seems a bit weird that Brody and Blair are alone together in a scene? Y'all think that's odd? Oh, and there was zippo chemistry there. FYI.

Yeah...I'm back to hating NuJack with this Gigi discussion. Also, I'm so glad Victor and NuJack are sitting on that shitastic ottoman so they can hide that eyesore! Jesus...I can't even look at it and the interior decorator of Victor's house should be shot. I'm sorry but I laugh every damn time I hear "The Gigi Morasco Scholarship Fund." My inner bitch can't help it and I just laugh...what a joke. I just want to know what the requirements are for the scholarship. I'm sure struggling single moms, etc. but I keep thinking how there also needs to be stringent requirements regarding art and art history. Like, the person must have an extensive background in watercolors and pastels, etc. Just like Gigi...world-class artist and teaching assistant. Word.

I mean...I can't stress enough how happy I am about the background at the Buch mansion.

No Bo and Nora that segment? WTF? Fail...

Word! They are back! Whannnn! Matthew SHOULD be applying to schools right now. I get so angry knowing he is being wasted. Peeing...Bo will no doubt think that Nora wants to have another kid.

Aaaaand I will never say "brown chicken, brown cow" again. Thanks, Starr. Bitch. Oh, and all this Hope discussion is a crock of poo. I mean...the child doesn't even know who Starr is. No.No.No.No. I can't hear this f*@king demo tape. I just can't! Don't do this OLTL! PLEASE!

Look at those trees move in the rain! I am so beside myself! So it took Rex moving to the mansion to get real trees...Jesus Christ.

Blair still remains dry as a bone as she basically trick-or-treats from house to house. Good God. You know for it to be TSJ's last day he ain't on much. And his scenes are all with NuJack...fail. Sorry but it just bothers me. I can't believe he is leaving! I haven't faced the reality of it yet...

Yeppers...Bo thought Nora wanted to be preggers. Which by the way would have been so much better than this Mes being pregs shit. UGH! I can't think about it. AS IF they are JUST NOW having this damn discussion about raising the baby. AS IF! I mean...they have probably discussed everything under the sun BUT raising the baby until now. Just no. Ummm yes I did say we would raise the baby and now I'm asking you. ha! I get sad thinking about Bo not raising ANY of his children from birth. UGH. Well, Bo needs to marry me and I'll go to jail for polygamy. "No, what I'm saying is IF we have the option to raise our grandchild with...the best mother in the world then...I'd be honored." Well just kill me. He is so fabulous and I'm beside my damn self. And a hug...*le sigh*

WHANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! All this bodyguard talk! Poor Victor. Poor TSJ. Ugh...he should have more scenes today. It's his last effing day, OLTL. Seriously. You had him on with NuJack the whole time. Woof.

Peeing...Tea doesn't want to be a bridesmaid if Tomas and Blair get married. I don't blame ya, sista. I'm sure the bridesmaids dresses would be slutty looking. Oh woof...Tomas is meeting Sebastian at Capricorn. Joke of the century...after Starr's music career.

That's right, Shane! What is the point in trying to go to sleep since you can't sleep. You are THAT damn excited you have real trees in your backyard! I'd be so excited I couldn't sleep either. Word.

Eh...so the killer won't be Brody since that is too obvious. And, it must not be raining cause he is outside and he is not wet. I'm so confused with the weather in Llanview.

No...it is raining. Victor is watching the rain. So Brody is invincible and waterproof. Got it.

NuJack looks a little wet.

KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! If we are going to have a Tuesday music montage then for God's sake don't make it be Starr singing! WOOF! hahaha....in the song it said "always searching for hope." Bitch, you probably are always searching for Hope. You never know where your damn kid is!

Everyone has a safe for valuables in Llanview but no one locks the door.

This song would be great if Starr wasn't singing it. I do love that it's "One Life to Live." SADNESS.

Oh no! Tea just got Blair's voicemail. I'm sad.

OMG OMG OMG. I'm about to cry with TSJ about to get shot. WHANNN! NO!!! That's it?!?! He is shot and it's over?! It is hard to believe that TSJ is gonna get taken out by one bullet. I mean...woof.

Regardless, he has been a phenomenal Walker/Todd/Victor for the past 8 years and I will miss him. I wish his send-off would have been a bit better. Hopefully this story will turn out to be fabulous. I'm still sad though. Gonna miss him.

Ok, I'm UBER late for work and can't look like shit so I have to go get ready. I promise I'll respond to comments, darlings!

Love y'all and mean it...mucho!

Au revoir!

Mija

Hurricane Irene is EVIL! Yet, I Lurve Her...

Irene: "That's right. I have been sent to this show for the sole purpose of removing Mes, NQS (aka Buster), and NuJack. I'm such a good agent that you can't even tell that is my mission! I'm THAT good."

Happy early Tuesday, kids! I was hoping to post last night but Ross had to draft his damn Fantasy Football team. Ugh. And, he has another draft on Wednesday...woof. I'll make this post as thorough as possible. I assure you my Tuesday post will be thorough! Oh, and I'll respond to comments from work...at some point I promise. I know I have a few more to get to. I have no clue what happened on Monday's episode or what was supposed to happen. All I know is that....*whannnn*....TSJ gets killed today. NOOOOOOO! I'll be upset no doubt. Ugh...can't deal. K, let me start...

Monday, August 29th--That's Right...Even Marty Is Starting to Get Upset That Victor Is Leaving!

UGH...Crystal Hunt is making another appearance. I don't want to see Stacy. I really don't. Gag me.

OMIGOD NOOOOOOO! Yes, this post will def be a drive-by since Mes is on this episode. Jesus Christ...forgot how much I loathe her. UGH. I wish Dan-YELLA would lose it and bop Mes with her huge coffee mug. Or that large jukebox can just magically land on Mes...SOMETHING!

Snap! Irene! Is it twisted that I kinda lurve her? Cause I do. Bitch is fierce!

I am lurving Tea's hair-do. Word.

Oh f*@k...first Mes, now Jes. I mean...what have I done to deserve this?! Her nude bra is showing...

So that answered one of my questions: Kim is paying for Stacy's bills. Wait...I didn't know Sean knew Kim. I need to rack my brain...

Ok so I'm not commenting on the Dan-YELLA and Mes scenes unless it has something to do with the extermination of Mes. I hate to short change y'all but I just have nothing to say.

Man...John is so much better with Irene than with Natalie! Lord have mercy! No, not sexually. I just enjoy John in scenes when he isn't being a boring douche, i.e. when he is with Natalie. I'm actually enjoying the Irene/John scenes.

I can't believe it, but I'm getting really upset that TSJ is about to bite the dust. WHANNNN!

The Gigi Morasco Scholarship Fund? *Le sigh* Why can't I be a normal person and find this to be a good thing? The first thing that popped up in my sick-o mind is that the person has to be a struggling wanna be artist (aka an effing trainwreck) in order to get the scholarship and work under Christian Vega...TOUGH REQUIREMENTS! Also, the recipient must have hair that looks like an electrocuted hedgehog.

TIMES! Ross and I were just like..."Omigod did Jess just say pu*@y?!" Wait...what?! I just rewound it and she did! That surely woke my ass up this morning! WTF, OLTL?!

Irene is a manipulative little biotch!!!

At least Natalie is talking sensibly to Clint about the gold-digging thing. Not that Rex is my fav but Kim is a gold-digger, too, just like Rex.

Ugh...I'm sorry. I have nothing to work with this morning! I am apologizing for how awful this is!

WHY.DO.THEY.PUT.BLAIR.IN.HIGH.WAISTED.PANTS?! Sweet Jesus! Someone answer me. Oh please...I don't believe for one minute that Jack thought that the scholarship would give Victor a tax break. I need a hippo to land on NuJack right now. Or...maybe that shark on NuJack's shirt could just come alive and devour him whole?

I ain't really interested in these Kim and Sean scenes.

I will no doubt have a bad day now that I was exposed to Mes.

I love the "Lindsay: Looney or Lucid?" Peeing! How in the world is Tea asleep with her legs crossed?

Irene is an evil bitch and I flippin' lurve her in some twisted way. What is wrong with me?!

Battle of the Buch Twins round 5,000...ugh. Speaking of these girls...I don't even flippin' care about the truth about McBundle's real daddy anymore. I mean...this shit has gone on for an eternity and now I'm just bored with it so something better get interesting. Hell, we found out the truth about Todd Manning first! Lordy!

I keep looking at Blair's boobs...no surprise. In other news: I love that Blair is shocked that Todd could have gotten the gun. I mean...I laughed when she looked distraught and said "It's gone." Bitch, please.

Peeing...RH just called Victor a "good little mutt."

I want to know what McBain is doing in the background of the Victor/Irene scenes. No doubt he is probably deciding on which black suit he should wear tomorrow. Word.

RH is cracking me up: "I'm never gonna share oxygen with that lunatic redhead again." I love it. I forgot how much I missed him.

I do like Jessica's outfit today. I'll give her that. Oh, and in case y'all forgot: Clint is adorable. I can't believe I have waited this long to say that. Ugh...Jessica's bra keeps showing.

Wait...Brody just surfaced? Almost 30 minutes in? Wait...or has he already been on today? My brain is addled a bit since I don't feel very well. So maybe he has been on already but I don't think so? Or was he on with Shane earlier? Regardless, all I need now is for Christian Vega to show up in the last segment...

Ah-ha! Brody is Bo's new secretary! I knew he would get a replacement.

I have to say that besides the Irene/John/Victor stuff and the RH/Tea stuff I'm bored as hell.

Omigod...Irene is EVIL! She just said Victor was a mental and emotional runt?! Wait what?! He is hugging her like he is a child?! Omigod now he is choking her?!?! ha! This is fabulous!

I blinked and missed the Blair/NuJack scenes. I need that shark to come to life like right now...

I do like the RH/Delgado scenes.

Snap...is Victor about to tell John about McBundle? If so, then I'll be interested in that reveal. What I'm not interested in is the follow-up convo that John and Natty will have. Bludgeon me now please.

Hmmm....I wonder if there will be a new set for Natty and John's apartment? Or will they just use Marty's house, too, like the Evans are? ha! Hell, we probably won't even make it far enough for John and Natty to get a new apartment.

Well woof...Victor ain't tellin' John now. Dammit to hell. In other creepy news: Brody has the looney bin look in his eyes. Lawd.

I can't help but laugh about Blair's paranoia about Todd having the gun that Dorian kept in the safe. She is so foolish...

PEEING...I LURVE when TSJ calls Brody "Love-ett." HILAR.

Ugh...who in the world is going to kill Victor? I hate this...whannnn!

Again, it looks like a reality show when anything is filmed in the hallway of the LPD. BRODY.LOOKS.CRAY.CRAY! DAYUM! His eyes are so scary!

Snap...Jess has a point. Yes, she could make an effort with Natalie but Clint could have made more of an effort with Bo. I know I know...but Clint is telling Jess to do that so I had to look at his situation as well. =)

Ugh...I have nothing to work with this morning! I am apologizing for how awful this is...AGAIN.

I hope Mes chokes on her burger at the Buenos Dias. K, thanks.

Rex was barely on today. I feel like his scenes were just sort of thrown in...

So...It's raining yet Victor isn't wet. And, NuJack just surfaced out of nowhere dry as a bone?

OMG OMG OMG...Liam is ADORBS!!!! I cannot deal!!!!!! Cannot effing deal with this cuteness! I love how Brody just haaaad to say out loud that "I'm not your father...John is." I mean...REALLY?! REALLY?

Whannnn...I can't believe I am saying this but--Victor! Listen to NuJack!!!!

I love that Brody said he played the Navy Seal card...lawd. Liam's hair looks lighter...

God...I must have had Kool-Aid this morning--I think it's nice how protective NuJack is being of Victor. That is all I can say...not elaborating. Lord...I have been brainwashed!

Ok, I'm running all kinds of late! I'll do comments today and I will blog this evening. I will make the next blog better I swear! I just hope I have more to work with.

Ciao bellas!

xoxo,

Mija

Still Depressed Dorian's Gone...WHANNN!

Dorian: "Yes, I'm so fabulous that it will take more than one episode to get over me. Oh, and I'm sending someone from the CIA or FBI to take out Mes. I'll use all my Washington connections to make this work."

Top o' the mornin'! I was going to blog last night but Ross was doing research for his Fantasy Football team...yes, really. So as I mentioned, I'm going to do a drive-by of Friday. I'm confused about the episode since some of the spoilers for Monday were shown in Friday's episode? I didn't Tivo the Soapnet version so I am just blogging about what ABC showed. Maybe it's all correct...maybe not. Not really sure. Alright darlings...

Friday, August 26th--Marty and Friends Are STILL Crying About Dorian's Departure!

1. Gigi's death year being erased...DUMB.AS.HELL. I mean let's just all get a life, shall we?

2. I must say that I like the Brody/Shane stuff.

3. The Llanview Cemetery is the worst cemetery of all time. The hedges are too effing tall and all the graves are isolated which is lame.

4. I thought today's episode was going to be tolerable but then James and Starr surfaced. Dammit to hell. I can't catch a break. I really can't. Gag me with a spoon please...k, thanks.

5. Guess what? I'm crying...thanks to the Dorian flashback.

6. The lame secretary with the shitastic outfit surfaced again...awesometown...not. The point of her running in and saying something to the effect of "Mr. Manning do you want me to kick him out??" Exactly. I mean...let's be serious...what would this bitch really do?

7. Peeing!!! Blair said "pity sex!" I love saying that. On another note: Why do they always make Blair wear high-waisted pants? I mean what's the point?

8. I'm so thankful that Bo, the love of my life, surfaced 16 minutes into the show. Sha...presh thing he is. I lurve Bo.

9. Rex is back to wearing military jackets. He must have read my blog...

10. I'd like to know where RH got his new duds. Nice outfit.

11. Cha ching. Catherine Hickland just got paid. That headline...ha! Lindsay was indeed looney. Miss her antics.

12. I don't know who is going to kill Victor. Can y'all believe he gets killed tomorrow?! UGH. Anyway, I thought Brody since it appeared that RH would kill Victor and maybe it will be Brody. OR...it could be Tea by accident like I had heard earlier. I hope not but who knows...maybe it is Tea? Yes, maybe so. I just thought/typed aloud.

13. I peed when Blair said Tea was a pain in her ass.

14. Gigi's burial outfit...eh. Very matronly. Like "Old Mother Hubbard." Speaking of...Gigi is so little she could live in a shoe. Oh, and I'm beyond thankful Gigi's ass ain't alive. Insensitive? Yes. But I don't care. Now let's all move on...

15. Word! Bo throwing out RH. I mean...I love RH but Bo is the only one making sense it seems. No one can take Irene Manning's word for now. Amen.

16. I don't want TSJ to go!!!!!

17. Starr and James make me want to papercut myself to death and then jump into a tub of salt.

18. Did Tea get a new haircut? Regardless, her hair-do is presh!

19. God, why can't Nora stop being the D.A. and become a defense attorney again. HA! She could defend RH's Todd. How fabu.

20. I need OLTL to be correct all this week. Soooo...no hurricanes, earthquakes, presidential interruptions, etc. Okay, thanks!

21. I was kinda bored this episode. Except I loved Bo. But, overall...bored.

Off to hair and make-up. My stylist is uber pissed I'm keeping her waiting!

Ciao bellas!

xoxo,

Mija

Washington Just Got a Lot More Fabulous While Llanview Lost It's Most Beloved French Speaking Dame.

Vicki: "Oh Dorian, you caaan't (in my best Vicki way to say "can't") leave! You just caaaan't!"

Morning all you fine people! I hope that all of you east coasters are safe and sound! I am no stranger to hurricanes so I am sure that all of you are ready for that bitch Irene to be gone...what a ho! Ok I'm responding to comments today. I'm about to do a full post about Thursday and then I'm gonna do Friday a little later but it might just be a drive-by. I heard that Friday's episode showed something that wasn't supposed to be on until Monday (at least according to spoilers). WTF is up with OLTL this week?! Anyway, let me get going because I have so much to do today.

Thursday, August 25th--Even Marty Sobbed Like a Baby During That Dorian/Vicki Montage...WHANN!!!!

I cannot stress enough how much I hate watching the show on Soapnet. PLEASE ABC get it right this week...begging!

So is Brody about to threaten Victor? Wait...we all know that TSJ is leaving so I wonder if Brody is the one that kills him? Just a thought...

Happy Sunday to me...John and Natalie. UGH! Separately please!

Omigod that pic of Matt was so adorbs! Nice close up. Ugh...Nora on the phone and that's it. Monday will be two weeks since she has been on...just woof. Peeing...Bo doesn't need any more bad news. No joke, commish!

Clint lit up like a damn Christmas tree when Kim walked in.

AH! Vicki and Dorian...I will relish this goodness no doubt! Yes, Young Boots, I want to steal Vicki's necklace, too! Just fabulous!

Peeing...Ross is opening a bunch of our wedding gifts while I have the show on and I made a comment about how upset I am that Dorian is leaving and he said "God, then I can't imagine how you would be if it was Nora leaving the show. You would have to join the 12 step program." Sadly, he is probably right.

Say what? Who is this bitch? Todd's secretary? Excuse me...Victor. I can't keep this straight when typing.

I'm so damn bored with this John and Natalie convo. I'm sorry...everyone yell at me. I actually feel bad that I can't like these two but it just won't happen! Believe me...I've tried!

Kim...you parked down the street and "snuck in the back?" Bitch please. You don't even have to sneak in the back. That shit is wide open for all to come and let Vicki take care of them. Who can blame people? I mean...I'd want Vicki to feed me and then tuck me in at night, too. Who wouldn't?

Awe...David had to aim a little higher once he found out he was Bo's son? Sha. Not that I have been a big fan of David being Bo's son but these scenes are kinda sweet...

My God...Dorian and Vicki. No words. These two in a room! Look at how fierce they look! So faaaabulous. Peeing...Dorian: "Oh really? And when did you get your medical degree?" These scenes are THAT good and they just started. ha...Dorian: "You're so full of it."

Clint is so handsome...that is all.

Saint Victoria! Dorian is on a roll!

Bo really does seems like he is so proud of David. Adorbs.

*Le sigh* a Marty mention. Snap...I wish these Victor and Brody scenes were a bit longer. I'm still disgusted they are going to turn Brody into a mini Marty (I say mini because I just don't see him losing it as beautifully as Marty did).

I'm actually having coffee and some how just fell asleep during these Natty/John scenes. Also, I'm tired of this tape shit since they keep having the same damn conversations about this over and over and over. Oy!

LOL...Victor is enjoying McBain moping around town being completely oblivious. UGH...these scenes are too short!!!!

Clint is so handsome...in case y'all forgot.

Awe...David thinks Vicki is his best friend. I love it. Dorian just screamed "Bastard!" I lurve it.

Bo is peeing on himself about Dorian and Vickers just said she would be the next Hillary...minus the cheating husband. David could be the "First Husband." I LOVE IT.

OF COURSE...Vicki and Dorian are STUCK together yet again. I love this.

God there has been so much talk this week of Vicki and Clint getting back together...even Kim is concerned! I wonder when this is going to happen?! Ummm now please! K, thanks!

I am just wetting my pants left and right with Dorian and Vicki. Vicki: "Dorian, in all the years that you have known me have I ever, ever played a practical joke." Dorian: "No, you are rather challenged in the humor department." THESE.TWO.ARE.THE.BEST! Also, I love "The Sun" headlines all over the room. Awesome...Dorian doesn't even know how to dial out of her own office. Peeing.

Who is THIS new cop coming into Bo's office? Two new characters this episode...lord. hahahaha! David is going to be saving the innocent blonde children of Scandinavia! Possibly my fav line of the show!

Sooooo Brody and Victor are kinda bonding over this "my kids aren't really mine" thing but now Victor thinks he has to tell John the truth since he grew a conscience overnight. Hmmmm I think Brody really may be the one that kills him.

Ugh...please wake me up when these John and Natty scenes are over. I just can't get into this.

LOL...Dorian is her own nemesis. I do agree with Vicki though...they are "frenemies." Too bad Dorian doesn't like verbal mash-ups...ha! That's right Dorian...I'm going to be bored to tears without you, too. PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE. Vicki needs you in her life to function. Whannn. Erika Slezak and Robin Strasser are really starting to get upset. Seriously. Omigod...I'm losing it. Vicki just said she loved her in a very hard way. I can't deal. CANNOT DEAL!!!! Vicki: "I think I'm going to miss you." Dorian: "I know I'm going to miss you." Whannnn! Somebody hold me! Erika Slezak really wants to cry! You can tell!

Enter the new secretary for all of two seconds. And, I blinked and missed the Brody/Victor scene but I did get the foreshadowing....Victor's a "dead man." I am really thinking Brody is going to be the killer.

ha! Natty just kicked Kim out. This is the Natty I know and love! "Go get sleazeballs to paper your panties!" FABU.

Awe...Dorian: "I can't imagine what life is going to be like without you." Agreed Victoria...I can't imagine Llanview without her. THIS.IS.SO.SAD. I'm crying!!!! This montage is FAAAAAAABULOUS!!!! It really is such a good example of how intertwined these two are...through good, bad, and ugly. Ugh...this montage really makes it real that OLTL is ending and I'm depressed. These two ARE the show and I'm sobbing! Vicki: "Dorian, you have made my life hell...over and over again and in a very real and profound way you have made my life. I will miss you." Just perfection. Awe...David just called Dorian his hot little freshman senator. I am just a big ball of sadness right now and that's all I have to say.

Ok so the send-off for Dorian was rather classy but depressing and Vicki crying and shaking her head at the end...well just someone hug me right now.

Why in the hell do the shots in the hallway at the LPD look like a reality show?! The camera is shaky!

Victor will tell the truth and Brody will be his killer? Maybe?

In all seriousness, Robin Strasser is one classy dame and a fabu actress and she will be missed terribly. Thank you for all that you have done! Hope it's not the last time we see you! Au revoir, mon cherie!

Ok, I'm about to go watch something funny rather quickly and unpack some gifts!

Love you all and will respond to comments after while. Stay safe all my friends in the east. Thinking of you!

kisses,

Mija

Addie, Renee, and Tall Hedges...Oh My!!!

Renee: "No, I assure you Asa can find a way to get rid of Mestiny. No doubt about it. He promised me he'd take care of her...just asked him."

Praise God...tomorrow is Friday! Sorry...we had a BIG company outing that started at 1:15 and ended sometime last night and I don't remember coming home. Lordy. Free drinks and good fun for HOURS on end! Yay! Sooooo I'm about to do a kinda drive-by esque post about Wednesday (show was fabu but I've been uber busy today since I got nothing done yesterday) and then ummmm I'm going to blog about Thursday's episode (with the awesome segment from yesterday's show thrown in....LOL). Seriously, so y'all know what happened? Didn't the east coast and Canada get Friday's episode...central got today's episode with a dash of yesterday's episode thrown in...west coast got the correct one? LOL. What a flub up! I mean...what in the hell is up with OLTL getting interrupted almost every damn day this week! WOOF! Anyway, so I'm taping the Soapnet version of today's since they are airing the correct one (lemme tell ya I've had to watch Soapnet too effing much this week and that's all I have to say about that) and will blog about Thursday fully either Friday or over the weekend (y'all know I have to do a big one for Dorian!!! No half assing!). Word. Oh, and I swear I'll get to the comments at some point tomorrow or this weekend! My most sincere apologies about that. K, let's do this kids...

Oh, and my pic will no doubt be of Dorian and Victoria tomorrow. I'm preparing myself for that tear fest...lord.

Wednesday, August 25th--Marty's Boozing It Up and Celebrating Because Renee and Addie Were FINALLY Let Out of the Attic

What a surprise..the doors to Llanfair are wide ass open. Lord.

I love Victoria's necklace...that's all.

Even in a wheelchair, Clint is edible.

Omigod so whipped cream, peanut butter...what else was on that tray David was carrying upstairs. Eww that visual. Well we know Dorian's already gone for the day so is he just using it on himself? So confused. Maybe Blair is upstairs and just asked him to fetch her the usual items. She probably has a man in her bed as we speak...good grief.

Dorian looks so fabu! Won't let this go. So the mayor's office is Nora's old office? I mean...REALLY? OH.SWEET.JESUS....Y'all...It's Addie flippin' Cramer!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm about to pass out! She looks presh. Welcome back!

Aaaaand we have Renee! That's it folks I think I can just die right here. So pumped! Oh, and we all need to write personal thank you notes to the security guard or whoever that unlocked the door to the attic and let Renee and Addie out...God Bless Your Soul! Whoever you are!!! I Love Bo...just sayin'. I mean...Renee just said that Bo was talkin' like a damn fool. This sassy, classy lady isn't on the show anymore because????? *crickets* Exactly. Fail. Fail. Fail. Times...Ross just made a comment and I have to share. So in these Bo and Renee scenes Ross spouts off "Man, they sure have some tall hedges in Llanview. I mean here at the cemetery, the country club, by Dorian's pool, at Todd's house, etc." LOL. He doesn't say much but when he does it's usually interesting and I must say that hubs makes a good point. Word. On another note all this Asa talk makes me miss him...

Kim looks better this go 'round on the show. She looks different. Whatever it is, work it girlie...

Peeing! Renee thought David and Dorian were gonna make Bo a grandpa...hilar!

Even funnier...that damn cake with Dorian's picture on it! "The Original Cramer Woman." I LOVE IT! That pic is so sass!!!!! Awe...this little party is so sweet. I can't lie. How are we going to get along without you Dorian?! With a heavy heart! This is so sad...whannn! When Dorian talks to Vicki I know I'm going to lose it and cry. Lawd.

Aaaaaand the back doors to Llanfair are open, too. Cool. How does Joey the pre-schooler know so much about monitoring devices? He just gaves us a mini dissertation...

Rex has stopped wearing those military like jackets. Just a comment.

Peeing! Clint just slammed the breaks on his wheelchair to prevent Rex from pushing him out the door. Silver Fox is quick, yo?

UGH....I'm nauseous. Bo talking about being a grandfather and Matthew...just no thank you! Renee: "I don't know what to say." Me: "I do, darling. Just tell me that you heard that Mes left Llanview or got caught in some explosion or something!!!!" Bo just said that it [pregnancy] was a good thing. Heavens. Can't deal.

Addie doesn't need champagne because sometimes I think she acts like she is a bit tipsy. Just sayin'. ;)

Wait...did Dorian just say "I'm not living?" Instead of "leaving?" Confused...

I'm dying out laughing! Every damn time Clint said "Don't panic I brought the _____." I died out laughing. Lurved it. WOW! Bo must have flippin' sprinted from the cemetery to the mansion! Made it there in record time. Snap! Clint just said "thank ya, son." Awe I want to cry!

In other news: I love the Jimmy Dean commercials where everyone is a planet and uber tired and some of the planets are collapsing. Word.

This blog is longer than anticipated and I'm almost to the half way point...

Starr...STFU! I don't give a damn about your political sciences classes! WOOF! I think I just wet my pants! Addie lurves texting and lurves "all those abbreviations." hahahahaha! Ok so I'm SERIOUSLY getting upset with these Dorian scenes. It seems so...final and real. Dorian is such a vital part of the show. I'm so sad.

I LOVE WHEN VICTORIA GETS ANGRY!!!!! She is effing fantastic! Ummm yes Joey she is worried about Clint. She lurves him and he lurves her. I need them to get together! Start the reunion already...or at least speed it up! JOEY! You are leaving on a good note!!! I mean...you just flippin' redeemed yourself in your last appearance. You just tried to convince Queen Victoria to get back with Clint. Good on ya for trying to talk some sense into her. So, I'll refrain from saying anything uber negative about Joey for the rest of the show. Oh, and I won't make pre-k comments anymore. Word.

LOL...Clint was scared Bo brought handcuffs. Bo and Clint in a scene together?! Be still my heart! Good God...this toast to Asa has me all mopey!!! WHANNNN!!!!

Aaaand now I'm getting upset with Kelly's little speech to Dorian! What is the matter with me?!?! Get it together, ME!

Joey you are so right!!!!! Clint is better around Vickster. End game. Joey...redemption overload! You are saying everything right!!!

Clint's little look after Bo said Nigel could take him home...ADORBS! He is so presh.

Goodness Gracious! Now I'm upset with Addie talking to Dorian! Eh...I doubt I'll get upset with anything Starr says. She mentioned Hope and I laughed. And I just laughed when Starr said she would teach Hope to respect herself like Dorian taught Starr. I'm not even going to comment on that...just imagine what I'm thinking. Respect herself...please. And as if Starr will teach Hope one damn thing...

Awe...RS was really crying during Blair's speech. Sadness. God, I keep looking at Blair's boobs. No surprise.

Ooookay, Vicki and Clint are HILARIOUS! I mean...Vicki going off on Clint and then she just stormed out. I am rewinding this quickly to watch again...that fabu. Ok so it was better the second time. "Where am I going?!?! Oooooh maybe I have something to TAKE care of!" I LOVE THESE TWO!!!!!!

Awe...the last Cramer girl photo. WHANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

Sooooo Kelly has talked about Zane in the past week more than she has since he was born. I mean...REALLY?! Ok so I'm sad about Gina Tognoni leaving because it makes me think about how badly OLTL completely botched her return. I'm also infuriated with OLTL for writing Joey so dumb. Also, I need Kevin Buchanan to surface at some point...k thanks.

Gigi's grave is like all by itself. Wtf? I mean REALLY?! Now the year is missing from the tombstone? PUH-LEEZE.

I love that Addie knew David was speaking Swedish.

AHHH! Can't wait for Vicki and Dorian scenes!

Ok this post was much longer than a drive-by. Lordy! It's almost midnight so I'll be up in the a.m. to blog about Thursday...or at least I hope so. Maybe weekend...

Night all you lovely peeps!

xoxoxo,

Mija

I Blinked and Missed Renee!

Renee: "I'm so fabulous that not only was I the most successful Madame EVER I'm also a magician? I literally just flashed before your eyes for 2 seconds in this episode and disappeared."

Morning y'all! Sorry...forgot that I had to tape the Soapnet version (again) since there was another interruption. So...here I am this morning to crank out this blog. Word! I'll respond to comments today when I can from work ever so sneakily. =)

Wednesday, August 23rd--Marty Continues to Stay Strong and Refuses to Invite Stacy to Her Labor Day BBQ

Whannnn! Who else misses Asa? Lord knows I do. AHHHH...Bo Buchanan! I have missed you terribly! Thank you for surfacing today!

YAY! Aaaand Clint! Aaaand Vicki! Aaaaand Nigel! WORD. Times...how many tops does Vicki have that have the slanted bottom? God, I feel like she has the same shirt in every color! She looks fabu nonetheless. LOL...what are you gonna do? Put me in solitary.

Aaaaaand just like that Joey and Kelly are leaving. I think their last day is today (Wednesday). Lame. YAY...John McBain!

I think it is all kinds of awesome that Nigel is now at Llanfair to wait on Clint...and Queen Victoria. Loyal little thing.

I won't let this go--hate watching the damn show on Soapnet. However, I'm forever grateful that I get to watch it uninterrupted but the quality is shit! UGH.

Lawd....I bet that is indeed Stacy and all I have to say is...say it with me...WOOF!!!! I'm all about Kim but Jesus....Stacy is effing atrosh and reeks of pig poop! I can't deal with her. Timeout...so is Kim pretending to have a conversation? I mean...I don't hear Stacy responding back. Or, are we supposed to think that Stacy is really talking but we just can't hear her...like on a cartoon. I'm so confused...

Yay! Dorian! So I have the Fab Four today! Don't EVEN get me started on Nora not being with Bo to remember Asa. Jesus Christ. I want to pull my hair out but I already knew she wasn't going to be on ALL week long. Kill me. In other news: Dorian looks 1,000 shades of fabulous. No surprised there. That breakfast from David looks nasty...

Peeing! I LOVE John's reaction to being called "thing!"

Ugh...I need Dorian's exit to tie together nicely by tomorrow because I ain't liking this so far. It NEEDS to be fabu because SHE is fabu. AH...times...did y'all see the "Good-bye Dorian" promo?! I.Want.To.Cry. Fact: I WILL cry when she tells Vicki good-bye! Whannnn!

So I was typing about Dorian and missed Aubs and Joey...oh well.

Aaaand cue the patriotic music....Dorian's going to D.C. bitches. Word.

Yes John...just like that Kelly is moving. Please...PLEASE ask Kellywhy she is moving back to London, John. It will be the most hysterical yet absurd thing you have ever heard. You need some humor right about now.

Yeppers...that is Stacy. Wait...Sierra Rose? So Rex still talks to Kyle and Fish? God...as if. I don't buy that.

Fact: Clint looks dapper in a wheelchair. Another fact: These Clint/Queen V/Nigel scenes are delicious. God...Asa's death. I must say I LOVED those funeral scenes because everybody and their mom came back for that shit...Alex, Cord, Kevin and the REAL Joey. *Le sigh*

Can I just reach through the tv and hug Bo? Please. UGH...I'm getting upset. What is wrong with me!? I must say...Asa's grave is rather small for such a larger than life guy! I was expecting something much more grand and ornate. Word.

Wait...I'm peeing on myself. Soapnet just had a quiz about Snoop Dog! I LOVE this! Who is Snoop Dog's homie? Bo of course!

I love it...David doesn't watch the news...or any other scripted program! haha!

LOL...Clint is on a roll today! Clint: "Damn gravesite looks like a gangster's funeral most of the time thanks to Renee." I LOVE HIM! Clint Buchanan where have you been!!!!????? I'm so glad you're back. I love that Nigel has Neville's word that the London compound is under control.

Ok so I have to say that I lurve Aubs dress and jewelry...maybe because it looks like something I'd wear to work. Aaaaaand those Joey/Aubs scenes were hella short.

Ok so John resting his head on the banister...so presh. He is being so sweet today!!! Y'all I haven't seen this side of John McBain in A WHILE! John: "Still not totally sure about a grown man named Joey." LOL...ain't that the truth! Thank you, John McBain...thank you! I am not sure about Joey being grown...period!

LOL...Natalie ate at a stripper buffet for Rex! LOL. You know...I bet the food was decent since they usually just order the food from another restaurant and set it up. Don't ask how I know. ;)

If this is Stacy in that bed...who is paying for this hospital bill? Hmmm???

I love that David is insulted by the word "stable." Ugh...so David and Dorian are going to leave the show but separately? Woof.

OH MY GOD. Bless my eyes...Renee Divine!!!!!!!!! Granted 25 minutes into the show but I will take this lovely creature when I can! HELLOOOOO! Aaaand that scene was a hot second...FAIL!

The country needs Dorian...hysterical. In all seriousness...I need Dorian. OLTL needs Dorian! Whannn! Don't leave, precious!

I love that Aubs just asked Joey if she knew what Joey would be doing in London. Ummm hello space cadet! He will be enlisting in those most prestigious pre-k program in all of the U.K. Duh!

Kelly Cramer shut your cake hole! No...John does NOT need to get back with Natalie. Jesus. I know it's going to happen so I don't want to hear the encouragement. Just get on the damn plane if you are going to keep this foolishness up. God! I'm sorry but I like John and Kelly so much more than the peeps they are paired with. I mean...see how cool John was with Kelly...yeah, not so much with Natty. See how witty Nat is with Rex...yeah, not so much with John. I could discuss this for days...ugh.

Ugh...it's 10 after 7! How do I always run out of time!!!!???? I've been awake since 5!

In other news: The background at the Buch mansion still looks fake as hell. Hope, Shane, baby Liam...get to work! New background PLEASE!

Well, Clint needed you months ago Kim. Now that Victoria is with Clint...well game over for me. Good thing I already know that **SPOILER** Kim is going to marry Rex. Lawd. Omigod...Vickster! YES! I mean...how cool would it be if OLTL did indeed film a dinner with everyone and they talked about Asa and we got some flashbacks?! Sweet Jesus! I'd die on the spot. Sadly, we won't get that...*le sigh* HA! Clint's reaction to the juice. Amen...get the damn picture back on Asa's mantle!!!!! Lawd...remove Gigi's ass quickly! I can't take it either, Silver Fox. Aaand Clint will violate his terms and go to the mansion...fab.

What?! No Renee and Bo that segment?! Jesus when are we gonna get the Renee/Bo scenes?! I mean...Tivo calls this episode "Bo Goes to Visit Asa's Grave" or something like that yet we aren't even seeing it. WOOOOOOOF!

Ok...just drive by snippets at this point. I'm running so late.

I'm such an effing douche because I feel kinda bad for Aubrey. I feel like I'm in law school again with Joey saying he gave the engagement ring to Aubs in "good faith".

A Nora reference...thank you Natalie. I needed that. I must say...I do love Natty and Rex's relationship. They are great together.

Ok so that is Stacy. When is Erin Torpey coming back? September? And, who is she supposed to be? I don't know...

Awe...so David and Dorian will leave happy. Yay!

UGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Mother effing woof. Are you kidding me?! No Bo/Renee AGAIN?! What the hell?! This is egregious! UGH...the peeps in charge of OLTL are such nasty beavers at times. Why are they doing this to me?!

Joey...get on that plane to London. School starts tomorrow...

Oh snap...forgot about the new mayor! The former Dinah Marler from GL! Before Gina Tognoni's Dinah...

Gosh I kinda miss Irene? Do y'all?

WHERE.ARE.BO.AND.RENEE?!!?!??!!!

Ugh...Natty's purse matches her shirt. It has to go...like right now. She is redeemed since she was so sweet to Rex in this scene.

Normally Vicki's bar is fully stocked even though she doesn't drink so I'm surprised she had to go to Timbuktu to get that bourbon.

AGAIN!? No Bo and Renee?! REALLY?! The last f*@king segment is coming up! This is outrageous!

Hmmm so they just showed the picture of Bo and Nora on Bo's desk. Does Hillary Smith have to get paid since they showed her for two seconds? Also, will Bo ever get a new secretary? It looks like no one is at the LPD.

I mean...LONG ASS HUG! John had a conversation with Kelly, talked to Dorian and made it back to the LPD and Bo and Renee were hugging the whole damn time! LOL! Awe...she called him an "old coot." I love it. May I just say it's egregious that we don't see Renee? Patricia Elliot is a faaaabulous actress (with a Tony to boot) and we don't see her. Atrosh. UGH...the scene is over!

YES! Clint escaped! May I just say that Clint looks so much better at the Buch Mansion than Rex...sorry.

Aaaaaand Kim made it from Anchorage to Llanview in all of 2 seconds! I mean...do they still have Concordes? I thought they got rid of those...and they were in Europe. Obviously Kim found one in Anchorage...lawd.

Aaaaand it's Stacy. I'm assuming Crystal Hunt got paid for that quick shot.

I'm so pissed about this Renee/Bo shit! UGH! They were on for like 2 minutes total! WOOF!

Okay I have to go like right now!

Love y'all and mean it...mucho!

Ciao!

xoxo,

Mija

Do They Serve Miller High Life Ponies AT The Pony? If so...I'm Sooooo There!

Kim: "Clint when I get back from Marty's Labor Day BBQ I'll give you a lap dance. You'll love it."

Happy Tuesday! Firstly...hope all you east coasters are alright! Lord..an earthquake?! Craziness! And...not to mention, SCARY! So, I hope you are reading this on steady ground! Ok lemme crank out a post about Monday's episode...then I have to make dinner. Then I'm going to do Tuesday's post...word! K, let's do this. Only have a short window before I have to go and channel my inner Barefoot Contessa!

Monday, August 22nd--Marty Has Agreed to Invite Kim to Her Labor Day BBQ. Word.

Sadly, in high school I would been drinking actual booze. Starr and Dan-YELLA...go steal some shit. Y'all deserve a shot or something after this Todd mess. Lawd.

Jesus...may I just say watching OLTL on Soapnet is horrible! The picture quality is shit.

TSJ is killing it. I mean...day 50 of EXCELLENCE with this storyline. Okay 50 was a bit dramatic but you get the drift...

Well...NuJack just needs to die and I don't know what else more I can add. It's as simple as that...

Aaaand they are going to show the Jess/Ford kiss AGAIN. Of course. I still hate her shirt.

Word! I'm pumped about The Pony shit.

Oh snap! Times...y'all do know that OLTL is getting a new opening right?! How exciting! Not sure if they are updating the pics but dear God...that needs to be the FIRST thing they do! These people do NOT look like that anymore! Word.

KIIIIIIIMMMMMMMM!!!!!! I'm actually excited to that little pole dancer.

I would love to know what is going on inside Roger Howarth's head as he does the scenes with NuJack. Poor Roger...he's too good for this foolishness.

I'll comment on the Starr and Dan-YELLA scenes when I give a shit. Right now I don't...

Tea's true blue and will stick by Victor. I feel it. Or, at least I think I do.

Kim's lookin' fierce!

Omigod...AGAIN....Monica Quartermaine still all up in the GH promo. Obviously something is awry. Cray Cray!

Jessica is smart about one thing: Frozen Peas. Those things are fabu when injured! On another note, I'm YAWNING during these Jess/Ford scenes. Good God. Even Jess punching Ford didn't give me any excitement...WOOF!

In other news: RH is killing it, too! I just hate THIS Jack. PLEASE can we get the old Jack back. God...he was faaaabulous! Too bad I've never gotten to say this before: "You tried to give me away to nuns! In a Mexican airport!" I mean...awesome story. I have no cool stories like that about my life. *Le sigh*

Starr...I mean you have a kid for crying out loud and your mom owns the joint. Please go sneak some booze! I know...most of you are frowning upon my encouragement but if I were in Starr's shoes I'd take advantage. Sorry. Snap...Dan-YELLA just got Starr about her changing her mind! I kinda want Dan-YELLA to yell at Starr. No, I do. I actually want her to yell at her. No reason. I'd just enjoy it.

Guess who else is killing it? Tea. Word. Ah...I KNEW it! She is gonna stick by TSJ! YAY!!!!

Aaand why am I tearing up when Tea called TSJ her partner and her soulmate. I am such a douche. Victory! Victorious! Awe...sweet. I love it. And Tea loves TSJ. Everyone smile.

Starr...STFU. I don't want to even acknowledge you today. AHHHH...God a reference to the Spring Fling! Best.Storyline.Ever! Good God! When Soapnet starts airing classic episodes in September I NEED them to air the Spring Fling stuff and ALL the fallout. Word.

I love it...Todd said there is more to the story than Mexican nuns. Lol.

Ok so Kim is saying she misses Stacy. Hmmm....I don't buy it. What I do buy...that Kim is genuinely worried/upset about Clint. Those two had chemistry in a weird way I'm telling you! Or...at least I thought so. Aaaand I STILL want to know what Vickers did to make Kim leave.

Aaaand I'm yawning. Thank God my ass poured a large glass of wine (in my new Bordeaux wine glasses! Yay for wedding presents) in order to get through the Ford/Tess scenes.

Omigod...I would have loved it if Kim were Rex's step-mother! ha! Almost as hilar as Nora (whannn...where is she?) being Dorian's step mother-in-law. Good grief, Charlie Brown.

Ugh...I hate how Victor and NuJack say McPain. Ugh. WOOOOORRRRRDDDD!!!! You lay down that fat hand, RH! Way to go! PLEASE...as you tell NuJack to not call you Scarface I'd love it if you just took him out right now. Please. You would be a superhero in my eyes! Even more so than McBain...begging you! Aaaand, now I have to take a few steps back. Yes, we can all blame Victor for not raising Jack properly and him turning into a douche but...hey you crazy kid...we can't forget everyone's favorite nympho, Blair Cramer. I mean...her parenting skills are shit. RH...Blair deserves some blame in the raising "NuJack into a shitastic citizen" department. Sorry dude...just sayin'.

Ok so now Kim is being weird so Stacy is probs alive. Word. UGH...these scenes are too damn short! WOOOOOOOFFFFF!

Jess/Ford...I just fell asleep.

I want Dan-YELLA to throw her drink in Starr's face. Yes, they are both making points but I just want Starr to have a drink thrown in her face.

I'm actually smiling as I watch the Victor/Tea scenes. Sweet. Aaaand they are gonna have sex I'm sure. Lord...

UGH!!!!! I am pulling my damn hair out!!!!! God, I hate NuJack.

Heirarchy of Evil:

1. Mes

2. NQS (aka Buster--his porn name. Desi reminded me of it and I'll call him that!)

3. NuJack

***I will pay ANYONE handsomely (monetary, sexual...you name it) to take these effers out!!!!*** UGH.

I mean...KZ's hubs FITS the damn part of a strip joint manager. Mercy! Awe...Kim still cares about Clint. Sha.

Hmmm...I haven't read anything spoiler wise on all this but I am just curious if Tess comes out and stays permanently? Or, does Jess just fall for Ford? I'm not sure.

I'm curious if there will be a Christian Vega cameo this episode. Possibly last segment? White shirt and all. hehe.

Starr/Dan-YELLA...snoozeville.

Yep...Victor and Tea are off to do it. Good for them. Snap! There is RH with the gun that Blair basically handed to him. Get the f*@k out!!!! Victor and Tea lock their front door?!?! Vicki and Dorian...take lessons!!!! Jesus! I can't believe my damn eyes! Wow...Tea has on nothing from the waist up except possibly pasties. Hmmm...

It's summertime....the front door is wide open at Llanfair. Hmmm. I know it's Pennsylvania and not Louisiana but I still bet bugs are flying in...lord have mercy. Aaaand that's all I have to say about these scenes. I'm more interested in the bug situation...

Cha ching! $$$! Payday, Farah Fath! You just got a check for being a ghost for all of a hot second in the last segment. Good for you!

F*@k a duck. I bet that is Stacy. Woof. I haven't heard on Crystal Hunt coming back so I wonder what/how this will all play out.

UGHHHHHHH. Woof on Starr and Fred the Magic Frog.

Aaaaand FAIL. Victor and Tea had to leave one effing door unlocked so they kept the back one open. Jesus Christ. Security systems, Llanview!!!! PLEASE! Ugh. I was so pumped they locked the front door and then that all got shot to hell...woof.

Well we all know RH ain't gonna shoot Victor and Tea. I mean...he needs to GTFO. He just got his life back! Don't be a loose cannon!

Okie dokie! I'm off to go cook Ross dinner and I'll blog later this evening. Ciao!

xoxoxo,

Mija

I'll Be Back This Evening to Discuss Kim...and Renee!

Hey you fabulous people! I'll be blogging about both Monday AND Tuesday this evening. I didn't get a chance to watch Monday's episode yet. However, I have time and can do both posts this evening. See y'all then. Oh, and can't wait to see Kim....YAY!!!! I'm actually really excited about her! Oh, and drum roll...Renee Divine is on today's episode! Praise God!

See y'all later this evening!

xoxo,

Mija

Addie Deserves Dinner and a Raise.

RH: "Hey, I just came by to pick up Addie and take her to a nice dinner. I know she has been the one raising Hope so I'd like to thank her. Then when I get back, we are going to talk about you being a failure as a parent. Ok, can you go get Addie now please? Thanks."

Hello darlings and Happy Sunday!!! I have somehow been up since 6:28 a.m. and have yet to go back to sleep. I swear I can't sleep late to save my life! Anyway, both Thursday and Friday were hella good episodes, right?! I mean...this Todd business has turned out to be FABU this week! For the sake of saving time (sorry I have to update my Excel spreadsheet for wedding gifts and be productive while Ross is gone for the afternoon), I'm going to do a mini drive-by of Thursday and then a FULL post about Friday's show. How's that? Oh, and I'll respond to comments at some point today or tonight. Okie dokie...

Thursday, August 21st--Marty Even Agrees That Todd Cared for Hope More In This Episode Than Starr Has Since She Has Given Birth...Word

1. Liam is the most adorbs baby of all time and I could just stare at him for an hour. In other news: Brody's crazy train has left the station and he looked like he wanted to vomit when Natty discussed all that Delphina/Marty/Talkboy business. Lord.

2. We should play a game. Christian's purpose on the show is _______. Someone just please tell me. I haven't a clue at this rate. Kinda like Mad Libs. Just make up your own occupation, phrase, etc.

3. I need NuJack to be eaten by wild dogs.

4. Blair kissing Tomas. No words. She needs to get back with RH stat. K, thanks. Plus, that is probably the only way I will like her again....if she gets back with RH that is. I haven't really cared for her in years...just think she is hot stuff. Oh and Tomas' purpose on the show is ______? Exactly.

5. Dan-YELLA is going to be so mindf*@ked with all this daddy drama. Damn...this girl can't catch a break with this father situation. Ross Rayburn...then TSJ Todd...then mini Ross Rayburn came back (atrosh recast) and TSJ Todd killed him....then she started to like TSJ...now RH has surfaced...then TSJ lies and says he is still Todd Manning. Holy Hell...

6. Spotted Pony could be a clever nickname for an STD that males contract...just a thought. Mind in the gutter as usual.

7. Oooookay. It pains me to write good stuff about Starr since she makes me want to pull all my damn hair out but I do love these scenes with RH. They are FABU! HOWEVER, Starr even acting like she has had a hand in raising Hope..egregious. Bitch is lying to her dad on their first real visit in 8 years. Dirty Hamster! Positive note: RH continues to rock my socks since he said "Addie." I mean...word on that...

8. May I just say that TSJ is breaking.my.heart. Seriously. He is doing a phenomenal job! Poor baby. Superb acting! Even Tea and Dan-YELLA in these scenes...all area great, but especially TSJ. Right-o!

9. Are the doors at Llanfair EVER closed?! Natty and Brody just left the room and kept the doors open. FAIL.

10. TSJ and RH are effing incredible and I couldn't be happier with their performances. I'm so glad I'm liking this story right now. Oh, and RH with little Hope...adorbs.

Friday, August 19th--Marty's Excited to Discuss the "Spotted Pony" Since She Used to Work There...Believable?? ;)

Blair, I think that asking RH to explain why Starr let a complete stranger watch her daughter is a bit out of line since you have piss poor judgment with men and trust idiots/psychos/weirdos. Ok...

I need Starr to not wear that jewelry with that shirt. Ok so these TSJ scenes should be fabu...excited!

As much as Jessica annoys me I did laugh when she explained to Ford about how her day was. Also, rapist or not...Ford is cute in father mode. Maybe because I have heard how nice a guy David Gregory is I feel the need to compliment him? I dunno. I still want all the damn Fords gone but he is cute...

Give it up for the current "Puma of the Pony." I LOVE IT! I'm ready to see Kim on a pole. Damn...Clint Buchanan, just think of how much fun y'all could have had!? *Le sigh*

And the purpose of that 2 second Aubs/Cutter scene was what? Fail.

I mean...I have no words for these TSJ scenes. They are THAT good...seriously. I'm loving this...intense!

Jessica's shirt is effing hideous. Ugh. Ford...you raped Jessica so Clint isn't that much worse than you so please zip it. K, thanks. Jessica is so damn pouty...

These outfits these girls have on at THE Pony are quite interesting. And I agree with Natty...homegirl on the pole is gifted.

Aaaaaand, Aubs is really Christine. Cool beans.

Omigod, KZ's hubs fits the part of the strip joint manager/owner to a "T!" Totes! For shizzle...good casting! He has a good eye, too. Natty would make a good pole dancer since she is well-endowed.

I just need RH and Blair to get back together right now so I can start liking her again...please, OLTL. The sooner the better. I need this to happen.

Again, I can't emphasize enough how fabu TSJ is in these scenes. On another note, I'll gladly go to Hawaii with him...just sayin'. Starr is actually good, too. AND, of course, Tea is fab.

These promos for "The Screw" look dumb as shit. Seriously? I mean who is REALLY going to watch this? If I want to see this mess, I'll watch Food Network.

Sorry...I am just NOT feeling these Aubs/Cutter scenes. So, Christine Carr became Aubs Wentworth. Lemme guess...Aubs Wentworth's true identity is Kimberly Andrews? Good grief, Charlie Brown...

Natty looks super gorg in that red (or orange) top. Lurve it.

Snap...so Cole is in that pic with Starr on the front of that photo album. Brandon Buddy just got paid...good for him. Aaaand I dunno what my deal is but I'm kinda getting misty eyed watching RH go through the photo album and say he should have been there...lordy.

Tea will love Victor Jr. no matter what right? I think she will.

In other news: Blair's haircut now is sooooooo much better than her previous haircuts. Please keep this one.

I'm so thankful that SOMEONE shut the doors to Llanfair. Jesus. About damn time. Oh, and I don't feel sorry for Jess. AT ALL. Yup I'm a big frigid bitch...

Colleen with 2 E's reminds me of someone and I can't put my finger on it...

SNAP...RH is blaming Blair the Village Whore for him being locked up for 8 years! FABU!

Tea's reaction after talking to "Victoria" was perf. That's right Dan-YELLA...yet again, you are getting punk'd. Your dad is now RH. K, got it? Cool. Dan-YELLA's reactions are spot-on, too. Word...looks like Tea is STILL going to love her hubs. UGH...NuJack STFU!!!!! Explode!!! You and Mes vaporize NOW! Good God I can't even stand to hear this bastard talk!!!!! Poor TSJ: "I wish I was Todd Manning." Tear...

I.Blame.You. I kinda love it...can't lie. They will get together, but I'm totally okay with RH blaming Blair for a bit. I mean...why not?

I.Do.Not.Care.About.These.Cutter.Christine.Scenes.

LOL...NuJack may hate everyone right now Blair but I assure you that I hate his ass more. Woof!

Aaaand now I have to be tortured watching NuJack talk to TSJ. See...if this were the former, cool, witty Jack then I'd be totally into these scenes. Sadly, it ain't and I can't deal with it. WHANNNNN!!!! Bring back old Jack! Please, baby Jesus. I'm begging you! Dan-YELLA is a good little actress, yo? Her little speech to TSJ was rather sad.

Blair just pulled out a gun...nice.

Jessica lower your voice. You'll wake the Silver Fox and he needs rest. Le barf...a Tess reference and Ford spilling about how he misses Tess. Jesus H. Christ...can't catch a break.

STILL not caring about the Cutter/Christine scenes. Nothing has changed...

Times...I kinda feel like Starr is being a tad harsh. Just a little. I think she could be a little more understanding given the circumstances. That's all. I love TSJ's little speech to her...

Look at Blair bein' sassy and tryin' to talk some sense into Todd.

Dammit to hell...TSJ hugging the kids is so damn sad! Depression central...

Again...Jessica lower your effing voice so Clint can sleep!!!! DAMMIT! OH WOOF...Ford just HAD to suck Jessica's face.

Damn I want to see Kim! I thought she was gonna be on today! Of course her stripper name is Gigi...of course.

Aaaaaand Blair continues to be the smart bitch that she is thus leaving the safe open. FAIL in the smarts department. Joey wouldn't have even done that...

Awe...Tea please say you still love TSJ. I would appreciate it. K, thanks.

WHEW...I'm beat! About to go eat lunch since I'm starved! Again, I'll respond to all comments at some point today.

Love y'all to pieces.

infinite xo,

Mija

Eh...Irene Is At Least Still A Better Mother Than Kelly.

The Brothers Manning/Lord: "Regardless of who is really Todd, we both assure you that we will do our damndest to keep Blair's legs closed for the rest of the duration of the show. It's our promise."

Ugh...running so late this morning but am determined to crank this out. Somehow we realized last night (late) that we had no coffee...UGH!!!! I'm so cranky. I'd be fine if I knew I could get Community Coffee somewhere on the way to work but I can't. So, I'm going to hit up...Dunkin' Donuts? Praying they have good coffee. Anyway, I'm gonna do as full a post as possible. No way I can comment on every scene though.

Wednesday, August 17th--Mija's Cranky So Everyone Watch Out! Including You, Margaret Saybrooke (I could take you down in a hot minute this morning...word)!

MH pointed out yesterday that Irene went all Dexter Morgan when she cut Victor's face. Lawd...truer words have never been spoken. What a bitch! Eh...she is still a better mother than Kelly. ;)

OMIGOD this tape recorder shit needs to end like MONTHS ago! I cannot deal! Jesus...come on, John. "Forensics Natalie." REALLY? What a f*@kin' joke.

Time out...what time is it in Llanview? I'm guessing around 5 o'clock? It looks rather early with all that sunlight but I'm guess it is happy hour. Sorry...had to type that out and think about it.

I hate Kelly's dress. Too geometric. Awe...Kelly just said "shut the front door." Lurve saying that. Oh and this Dorian and Kelly leaving foolishness isn't rushed or anything...nooooo...not at all. FAIL.

Dammit to hell...I can't stress enough how upset I'm gonna be when Natty and John get back together. I mean...John is gonna go from the most badass guy in town to the lamest. I'm praying for a miracle and somehow Natty and John end up bringing out the best in each other but it hasn't happened in years so why would it happen now.

I'm excited about the "Spotted Pony" business. I am kinda excited to see Kim. Oh, did y'all know that Kim Zimmer's husband is going to play the strip club manager?! LOL. Yes, it's true. This should be hilar.

"And that's why spotless ponies...can run faster." Oh David...I needed that. Thank you. I love the "have a seat" references, too.

Ummmm my Tivo titled today's episode as "Starr Learns the Truth." Hmmm, yet Starr isn't on? God knows I'm not complaining...just sayin'.

God Bless America! Kelly Cramer is gorgeous...for shizzle. But, lord that dress is not flattering. Remove it please. Aaaaand just like that Dorian is going to be a senator?

Oh good....maybe we can get some more Tea/Blair bitchy goodness. Dammit Tea...if you are going to harm objects in your home will you PLEASE for the love of God set fire to that damn ottomon!!! You are harming objects that are decent yet you let the shitty furniture pieces continue to have a life...FAIL.

Sweet Jesus! Did I just hear a Suede Pruitt reference? AH! Luna Moody?! Be still my longing for the OLTL of the '90's heart. AH! Ugh...so lemme guess...now Irene is going to tell us she had to create the face of Walker?

David's jokes this episode are hilar and I wish I had time to discuss it all. HAHAHA...the spotted pony was named Rex?

Ok so this Delphia and Roxy foolishness....hilar but I will just comment on the meat and potatoes of their discussion.

THE MUSIC AT CAPRICORN IS ABOUT TO MAKE MY EARDRUMS EXPLODE.

Awe...a "Pa" reference. Jesus, at least I can get a reference about Bo. God knows the last time we have seen him. I can't win this summer with this show when it comes to characters I like...besides Victoria. *le sigh* (in a sad way)

These Tea/Blair/Tomas scenes are hella short! Damn. Oh, and Young Boots...Tomas has ZERO purpose. I mean...he is just sitting there.

So TSJ is gonna be Victor Jr. (aka the special child). I would LOVE to know who the STELLAR plastic surgeon was for all this hogwash. He could work some magic on me no doubt...

I LURVE IT...McBain is just hangin' the hell out in the background of all this mess. Ever so cool...ever so quietly...ever so badass.

Hell, I'd be worried if Blair kissed my husband, too. Blair will open her legs to any living, breathing person of the opposite sex. I'm just gonna enjoy all this screaming. Damn it's over! Tea is kicking her out? Woof.

Yay...enter Natalie with that damn tape. Try and guess if I have an excited tone here...

OMG...Dorian's spouting off her "accomplishments" as mayor. Good God...WHEN did she do ANY of those things. She is always hanging at home, doing David, or contriving some little plan.

I love that Tea just spouted off Spanish in a heated tone...WORD. Peeing...taste test. I love it.

Aaaaaaaand TSJ is Victor, Jr. May I just say that I actually feel terrible for Toad/Victor Jr. I really, really do. Poor thing.

Omigod I have to hurry...almost 7:15.

My heart is also breaking for Tea. You know what if he isn't Todd then he is Victor, Jr. and you still love him.

Jesus H. Irene just clapped and said "bravo" to herself. Pompous much? All this Walker talk. Gosh, I HATED OLTL during the time period Walker surfaced so I have tried to block as much of that out as humanly possible. These Todd scenes are faaaaabulous! Ummmm Irene, John McBain NEVER ruins ANYTHING so don't you say that again or I'll have to beat your red-headed ass.

I.Am.So.Sick.Of.This.Little.Tape. Game over.

I want to know where Aubs and Cutter are getting their $$$ from...

Can't/Won't/Refuse to listen to Kelly discuss Zane. Lord...so this Joey going with Kelly to London...does Kevin care? Does anyone even care about Kevin in this life EXCEPT for me? I miss him.

David doesn't have time for the little people anymore...loves it. Snap...David's agent looks uber familiar. Hmmmm.

RIP Dr. Buhari.

Ok so the Vicki/TSJ thing is breaking my heart. I did NOT in a million years think I would be bothered by all this! But...my ass is upset! God!

Ok so where in the hell have I seen David's agent!!!???

Aaaaand the "Star Spangled Banner" is playing in the background in these Kelly and Dorian scenes. Frances Scott Key, did you ever think your song would make it on such an awesome show? Exactly...you didn't have a clue. ;)

Soooo David is now leaving, too. Ever so quickly. Again, OLTL isn't rushing any of these exits at all...AT ALL. UGH.

Dear Baby Jesus: Please let Rex's visit to Kentucky be better than that shitastic trip he and Gigi took New Mexico. PLEASE!!! I'm still not over that...

WHAT?! Christian surfaces in almost the last scene? What.Is.The.Purpose? Oh well, he got paid for today's episode and he hardly did anything. Poor thing still needs to leave the show like now. I believe Erin Torpey is coming back so Christian can leave town? Yes?

Blair/Tomas kissing. No words. She is just too easy...

Poor Vicki...you DO need a drink. OMG OMG...cue the preciousness...RH just asked for a hug. How adorbs. AHHHHH!!!! This last Vicki/RH scene...NO WORDS! FABU.

Omigod I'm so intrigued and now anxious about this Tea/TSJ convo! I wonder if he will go on and tell her?! I have no clue...excited!

Ok I have to run like NOW!

Love y'all, mean it!

Ciao bellas!

Mija

Better Mother: Kelly Cramer? Irene Manning? As If This Is A Contest...Irene! Word...

Irene: "Not only do I have a killer smile, but I am actually a better mother than Kelly Cramer...and a rogue agent to boot! What can I NOT do?!"

I'm baaaaaaack!!!! Lord today...and exhausted at that! How are y'all?! Firstly, I'm forever grateful for MH's fabulous ass for filling in for me while I was away. She is so wonderful and hysterical and lovely to sub for
me. Word. Oh, and ummmm she came to my par-tay this weekend and we had a helluva time!

Soooo I'm back and married...and missed a lot of OLTL. Lordy. Oh, and I'm not going on a honeymoon until January so I'll be around until the show ends. =) I JUST caught up watching the show. I can't lie...glad I didn't have to blog about Starr's singing and any dialogue with Baz, anything (and I mean ANYTHING) involving Mes and this pregnancy foolishness, and the Phylicia/Felecia and Nora conversation and SLAP. Times...the slap (as far as slaps go) was hella fabulous. I cannot lie. Uncalled for? Certainly. But, the slap was good. However, Nora just looks so damn defeated and she was uber passive...can't deal. On another note, I'm BEYOND intrigued with this Todd/Todd/Victor Jr./Irene business, but Jesus I'm confused. Oh, and OF COURSE I missed the episode where John McBain and Co. were in the Louisiana Bayou! What the hell?! UGH! And, I missed Vickers references to The Parent Trap on Thursday....whannn!

Ok, I've yapped enough. Let's get this started, shall we?

Tuesday, August 16th--Marty Just Said That Kelly Should Dry Her Tears With That Shitastic Self-Portrait Gigi Drew...

Aaaaaand Dorian looks hella fierce! That outfit is gorg!

Ok, I have to say that I am LOVING this 2 Todds story and I'm shocked. It has really gotten good...confusing as hell...but good. Notice, Vicki's back doors are flippin' wide open. Woof. Everyone under the sun is staying in that damn house and it is wide open for more people to enter. Good God.

Jesus...please pass the Manwich!!! UGH! Good God...so REALLY, OLTL? REALLY?! How sloppy!!! SLOPPY! Out of flippin' nowhere Kelly is going to start giving a damn about Zane after YEARS of not giving two shits about this poor child!? She looks and Liam and Ryder and holds teddy bears and thinks of Zane's play or whatever he performed in on parents day and now she just has to fly back to London and live there and raise Zane or she'll just die. Give me a f*@kin' break. This is ridiculous. The writers of this show loathe Kelly Cramer and don't write for her and now her send off will be atrosh...Dorian's probably will, too. *Le sigh* We can't win...

Christian continues to have no purpose on this show and once again he lets us know that he only owns white button up shirts. Please get this boy a new outfit...

Natty looks smokin' in that dress! Very nice! God...that vodka Roxy was chugging looked cheap as hell.

Lord...Irene leaving Tina in Vicki's care. What a handful. Sooo...Irene just said these brothers are reunited. Let me write that down so I can begin to keep all this straight. Damn...Irene Manning is tall, yo? Now...identical twins...let's write that down, too.

Foxy Roxy's is soaked in pink...too much pink. I love pink but this is a bit much. Wow...Roxy just said "para-abnormal." I love it. I must say I do love Roxy and Natty's relationship.

I just can't let go of the fact that Christian only wears those damn white button-ups at Capricorn. God Bless!!!!! PLEASE make that self-portrait go away!!!!! PLEASE! It is awful! And, I just can't believe that Gigi had talent in the art department. Woof.

Aubs looks cute. Long time no see. Their scenes are hella short...

OMIGOD! Little Liam please come home with me! I want this child to tote around. I'd dress him impeccably and we would have a grand ole time together. Y'all really don't expect me to address this Kelly misses Zane foolishness anymore? Do y'all? I mean...absurd.

Oh lord...a reference to Dorian being exonerated for Victor Lord's murder. I loved that storyline! I was a tot but remember it vividly! Le sigh...I miss that OLTL.

Jesus...Irene was just Fertile Myrtle huh? This ho gets pregs rather easily it seems! Oh lord...so there is "Todd" and Victor Lord, Jr. Let's write that down (I have read no spoilers on this foolishness so it's kinda fun...). Aaaaaand REALLY? Who in the hell is John McBain on the phone with in the background? He is obviously whispering. We can't hear a word. Soooo Irene just met a man and "got involved" in the CIA? Just like that? Puh-leeze.

So this dress Aubs has on...she schlepped that from Europe? I mean if not then how is she affording the new duds?

These Kelly and Joey scenes are just downright aggravating. This whole reasoning for Kelly leaving Llanview is just insulting since she has NEVER cared about Zane. Now, if she had been a good mother (like Starr...ha!) then it would be understandable she needs to see her kid...but this is just comedic relief in a way and not believable.

Omigod I LURVE how Brody is flippin' talkin' to li'l Liam like he is his mini confidant! Too presh!

Wait...I blinked and missed those Natty/Roxy scenes. So quick!

Ah...so John was on the phone about the DNA tests. Word. I do like John's gray suit on him...snazzy! Of course John will secretly record Irene's tell-all to Victoria and Co. He won't let us down and neither will his suit!

Ok so I find Irene rather attractive.

Omigod I'm getting so confused with this Todd mess.

Natty...trust Delphina. Brody is about to take a page out of the Marty Saybrooke playbook and we all know how that works out for ya. Aaaaand HOW long have we been dealing with this tape recorder or Talkboy foolishness? Exactly. Decades. Good God.

God bless...Cutter's shirt is HEINOUS! UGH. Poor Christian...his job has come down to retrieving documents from a printer about "Spotted Pony." How embarrassing...

Aubs' teeth are uber white.

Lord are David and Dorian about to have sex? I'm fine with this, but may I just say that Bo and Nora haven't had sex in like...over a year. And those poor babies are riddled with sadness. UGH. Unfair.

Okay so Irene got to have playtime with both Todds...got it.

I can't let it go...Kelly/Joey scenes are UBER atrosh. Joey looks like a little lost duck, p.s.

"David Vickers Buchanan Productions. David Vickers Buchanan speaking." I love it. Aaaand Dorian just told David to give her a high-five. How adorbs!

Ugh....It's 10 'til 7. Need to hurry...

Oh eff...Gigi surfaced again but this time at Capricorn. Maybe she is interested in listening to Baz spin some tunes? FAIL.

Lord...this is the beginning of John and Natty getting back together and John's coolness factor will drop faster than a desperate hooker. UGH. I need them separated please!!!! Only way I can enjoy them....

Oh no!!!! Here is that "I have a ______. Her name is ______." I thought we were finished with that awfulness!!!!!?????? Times...so Victor was susceptible so he had to get Todd's memories to become Todd? This is becoming a bit far-fetched...

Believe it or not, I'm not minding the Cutter/Aubs dialogue...

I need to send a message to J.C. and tell him that he needs to close down the boutique in heaven where Gigi got that dress. It's drab...

I NEED Victoria to get new living room furniture...lawd.

Good God...here we go again. "I have a _____. Her name is _____." If I never hear that again in my life, it won't be soon enough.

Aaaaand just like that, Kelly and Dorian are going to basically announce they are leaving the show. UGH!!! Dorian's last airdate is the 25th I believe. Tear. =(

WORD...Vickers knows about the "Spotted Pony."

YES! That is right, John! "Delphina, the crazy person." I agree wholeheartedly.

I love the little ducks in the background of Liam's nursery! So cute. However, that room has waaaaaaayyyyyyy too much yellow going on. Just no...

Let's wrap up the Marty Saybrook Talkboy ordeal. Begging...

Ok now what is happening? So she cut Victor to look like Todd. I'm still confused. Oh, and Irene is still a better mother than Kelly. ;) Word. I'm hella confused by the way but I'm just gonna sit back and try and figure this mess out as I go...

Snippets...

These promos for "The Screw" are just insulting.

Sweet Jesus! I mean...I don't watch "General Hospital" but I know enough about it and hell must have frozen over because Monica Quartermaine is in the damn promo! Good God! I haven't seen a Quartermaine in a promo (or the show for that matter) in ages! Go ahead, Monica...

Okay! Off to get fluffed and puffed for work! See y'all soon! So glad to be back!

Love y'all, mean it!

Ciao!

Mijita

A Tale of Two Todds: More Exciting Than "A Tale of Two Cities" - Fact!

Self-explanatory photo! Bring on the Irene Manning fall-out, bitches!

Hi Everyone,

Yes, it is MH AGAIN! I know ya'll were expecting ME back to post about yesterday's episode; however, homegirl got home super duper late last night and then had to go back to work today at the butt crack of dawn (huge woof). She is FOR SHIZZLE going to post about today's episode either tonight or tomorrow, so I promise that this is the last day that ya'll will have to put up with me... for now! Oh, and McBain and Co did not crash ME and Ross' wedding reception - boo! Regardless, it was a blast, and we had a great time celebrating with the newlyweds!!

Anywho, before I die of heat stroke in this atrosh Texas heat (We are about to set a record for the most consecutive days of over 100 degree temperatures - YAY - NOT - and we now have mandatory lawn watering restrictions - WOOF!), let me take a break from listening to the new Studio 54 station on XM and type up a top ten drive by of yesterday's show. Times, one cool thing about Texas lately: George Strait's adorbs self is starring in the 25th Anniversary "Don't Mess with Texas" ads, and I am beside myself. Great, now my body temp is up - not such a cool ad campaign anymore. Ugh, I am just going to sit in a tub of ice for the rest of the summer. I am sure ya'll don't give two shits about that, so let's go ahead and get this pool party started.

Oh, and I will respond to comments from Friday's blog at some point today! As always, apologizing for typos in advance!

Monday, August 15, 2011 Summary of Shenanigans in Llanview, PA

Brought to you by Marty's special BBQ crazy sauce/marinade. Marty wanted to host a BBQ and pool party at my house, but it is entirely too hot to eat or do anything outside, so she is just going to sponsor this blog post for today. Word!

1. This two Todd's story is fab right now. TSJ and RH's scenes are always enjoyable, especially when Vicki is involved, and I am so damn glad that RH isn't just lurking in the shadows of every establishment and home in Llaiview anymore! He is talking AND eating, and that is just good no matter how you slice it. Again, I could quote from these scenes all day long, but there is not enough space!

2. I think ya'll know what I am going to say about the scenes at Toad's house... wait for it... Got Milk?

3. Dear Mamma Evans, Nora did not hold a gun to Mestiny's head and force her to keep the baby. If I am not mistaken, Mestiny is your grandchild, and you surely did raise her for your son, so quit yelling at Nora, you hypocrite. K, thanks! I used to like you, but you are making that like go to hell in a hand basket now. And, don't get me started on Nora's passivity in these scenes.

4. Not even watching or discussing these Dani/Mestiny scenes. My blood pressure cannot take it.

5. Aaaaaaaand, please shoot me cause Starr is singing. Please somebody, make it stop. I will not watch or discuss these Starr/Spaz scenes for the same reason that I will not watch or discuss Dani/Mes.

6. May I just say that I flurve these John and Co/Irene Manning scenes! I mean, the actress playing Irene ain't Liz Hubbard, but I like her anyway. Peed on myself at her expression when McBain, the Whispering Chief of Detectives, told her that pressing the alert button with her knee was not going to do any good! Damn, they are already back in Llanview. Hope they enjoyed their stay in Louisiana as much as I did last week!

7. The dialogue in these Nora/Mamma Evans scenes is just overall atrosh, - I mean, WTF was that comment about Nora treating Mes like the help? Bo and Nora have always treated Mes wonderfully despite the fact that that little busy body is always up in their business when she doesn't need to be. Huge woof on these scenes!

8. Oh, a Clint mention!!! I forgot that he still exists We don't see him for weeks, then he appears to be sentenced, so now I guess he is in a secluded section of the Llanfair Refugee Camp to serve out his house arrest? He may as well go play gin rummy with Addie and Rene (Wait, or did Rex kick them out? Hmm.) in the attic of the Buch manse cause we never see him now.

9. I am pretty sure I peed on myself when Blair and Tea started comparing the two Todds' kissing styles and sexual preferences. So much for this frenemy relationship. Bring on the bitch slapping!

10. Just a reminder, Victoria Lord is fabulous in every way and looks fabulous in red, and I don't know what else to say! Times, did Vicki say that Jess is taking care of Clint? That is a scary thought. At any rate, cannot wait to see the Vicki scenes with Irene today!

Overall, not too shabby for a Monday episode. Again, thank you all so very much for putting up with my blabbering in ME's absence. I hope this post was somewhat coherent. It was even too hot for coffee this morning. Ok, time for me to go refresh this ice tub! See ya'll next time!

Loving ya'll mucho,

MH