Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Oh Natalie, It's Okay. I'm Perfectly Fine with You Sleeping with Brody. Jessica Will Understand, Darling. Don't Worry.

Victoria Lord: "Natalie darling, I'm not upset about you sleeping with Brody. However, if I give you one more free pass Mary-Ella will pull her hair out. So this is it."

Morning all you gorgeous readers! First of all, I have to apologize. I am BEYOND sorry I have not responded to comments! I have read them and peed on myself as usual...Akesha, MojoMiller, YoSammity, Cri*Cri*, Rac...FLOVE THE COMMENTS! I owe y'all responses I know! Things have just been hectic and now Ross doesn't know if he is coming back this week, etc. Just huge woof. =( So, I'm gonna try and be sneaky at work and respond to comments. Will do my damndest I promise! Oh, and thanks again for all the sweet thoughts! Things are looking grim for poor Ross and his fam, but the well wishes and concern are MUCH appreciated! xx

Oh...did y'all watch the Emmys? What a shit show huh? I mean...30 minutes of the show was for an award for Oprah and that bitch wasn't even there! That ho! All the attention was on ANYTHING but the soaps. Huge fail yet no surprise. I could talk about this for days but this blog is supposed to make you laugh! No negativity here (when I can help it)! So...in positive Emmy news: Hillary Smith looked all kinds of faboosh and sex on a stick. Best look ever! Those legs! That dress! Melissa Archer's red carpet dress...fabulous! Her eyes and boobs...no words. FABU. She looks great in blue, too! Kassie DePaiva's dress fit her PERFECTLY...no surprise! She has such a rockin' bod, and I'm envious. Those were my compliments from the show about the OLTL cast. The rest...eh.

Aaaaand, let me start watching this show. I don't even know what is supposed to happen this episode since I have read no spoilers. Hmmm.

Monday, June 20th--I Miss Marty's Playhouse. Just sayin'

1. Amazing...RH STILL didn't say anything even when asked a question by the bad guy. Unreal. He is getting paid to say nothing.
2. I can assure you right now that I will not give a flying f*@k about these Blair/Tomas/French man scenes.
3. Sweet Jesus...as if the Blair/Tomas stuff isn't bad enough I have to be subjected to Starr and James at LU. I'm in Purgatory I just know it. I got left behind and now I'm forced to watch the James/Starr saga. I think hell would have been better. Times! That guy in the white shirt was creepily checking Starr out. He stared constantly.
4. Omigod I NEED that coat on me!!! Wait....PEEING!!!!! Snippy Ass Aubrey: "Calm down, Jessica! You're scaring him!" Yes, pee def came out when I heard that. Hilar. The evil bitch in me loves that Jess is getting the cold shoulder from everyone...including Aubs.
5. Score!!!! Silver Fox appearance. Darling, please make up for the Tomas/Blair and Starr/James shit. It's up to you today. Snap...now V! She will most def help you, Clint.
6. OMIGOD! Natalie, STFU!!!! I love your hair, but I'm tempted to pull all of it out on this fine morning.
7. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?! Am I REALLY having to watch James and Starr discuss the fact that Hope hates James?!?! Is this show now strictly a comedy? Or is this a horror movie? The latter. I'm horrified...so horror movie. I'm disgusted. Starr, you don't f*@king know what Hope likes! You don't even know the juice the little girl likes to sip on because you are a monumental failure as a parent. Explode.
8. Good on the writers for giving us a Rex/Natalie scene. I do like their relationship. =)
9. Oh no...I feel that Vicki is about to start crying. Jesus...she is. I cannot handle this. Whoa...these scenes are fabu. Entirely too short. Of course. By all means cut the damn Clint/Vicki stuff short but let's watch Blair galavant around a hotel and spy on Tomas...that works. My ass.
10. HE SPEAKS!!!! Lord have mercy! Work hard for that money, RH! Work hard!
11. OMG so the only way to get any Dorian action is her phone call to Blair?! Puh-leeze, bitches! We need to see her!!!!
12. AH! Going by Victoria Lord now? I like it, V. Way to go. I felt the same way when Nora started going by Hanen again. I again just peed on myself thanks to Vicki and Clint. I need to start wearing Depends, I swear. Between Vicki's reaction to Tess escaping and Clint saying "Can that place do anything right?!" well I have just wet myself. OMG in total agreement, Clint! I've been saying the same phrase forever!!!
13. Jessica...Bree is more beautiful than you remember? God, you're an awful mother! If she gets back full custody of those kids, then family court in Pennsylvania is shit. SHIT!
14. Gigi's doctor is awkward. I bet he and smurf are doing it in the supply closet on their break.
15. I am so NOT interested in the Ford brothers scenes at the Chlamydia Shack.
16. Yes Natalie, we ALL know that Gigi is the organ match for Clint. You are working my nerves today, hot mama. Seriously. Oh, and Jessica is whiney and I don't like her.
17. Sooooooo is it like midnight at LU? They are registering for classes awfully late.
18. To add insult to injury, Starr scenes involve talking to Langston. Unbelievable. Oh no...THIS is the new guy?! White shirt guy is the new character? Slit my wrists.
19. I'm not even typing the Blair stuff.
20. Sam Manning!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!! Make my day!
21. Yes James, Ford wants you to sneak into a mental hospital. It's not difficult, I assure you. How effing ABSURD is it that now James is going to be dressed as a nun?! God, St. Ann's is a circus...
22. My God!!!! Jessica somehow already made an appointment with Dr. Levin in the morning? Please for the love of Victoria Lord find a new doctor!!!! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...
23. Poor Clint...I'm sorry but I feel for him.
24. Lordy...I cannot deal with this Gigi/Rex sadness so early in the morning. However I think Gigi would let Clint have her heart, Rex. She would have done the right thing. At the end of the day, Gigi was sweet...despite how she worked my nerves up until about a month ago.
25. Oh God...Vicki please react the way I need you to when Natalie tells you about Brody. I need shock from you, at least. LORD...Vicki is totally okay with all this. Of course. Jesus...Vicki, come on! Yes, I wanted Natty and Brody to sleep together, but the way I need Vicki to react to all this is completely different. I must say...I'm disappointed. Natalie always gets a free pass. Always. Vicki you are better than this. I'll let it slide. So, now I am a hypocrite since I am giving Vicki a free pass...damn.
26. Look at Joey standing his ground!!! He must be in summer school. There is no other explanation for this type of improvement. Word!
27. I'd rather listen to Kassie DePaiva sing at this rate then watch these scenes. ATROSH!!!!!!! This is like the worst storyline ever. No, I take it back. I'd rather watch these scenes than watch her sing on the piano at Capricorn or something but I might change my mind...big deal if I do!
28. Sooooo ALL out of town hotels--Vegas, Seattle, and NYC--ALL look alike. The similarities are amazing.
29. WHAT?! Who is this new woman in Tomas' hotel room!? AS IF this f*@king show needs more people!!!!! I need blood pressure medication.
30. I'd love to know how Langston's doing on the set of her movie. I'm genuinely concerned. Please...fill us in Starr. By all means. That guy in the white shirt is a punk and I want to beat the shit out of him already.
31. Oh no...Vicki in Gigi's room. I won't be able to deal.
32. Ugh...Rex is back into spaz mode in these Clint scenes.
33. I know the reveal of Tomas having a wife should have been riveting but I was bored as hell.
34. Sam is edible. OMG. I'm sorry...RH's return is NOT working for me. NOT!
35. Again, the security at Dorian's is just nonexistent.
36. I'd like to thank Vicki and Clint for being awesome as usual. Where is Dorian, p.s.? I mean...Robin Strasser is leaving the show VERY early and we aren't getting to see her? Just boo.

Ok...must run and get ready for work!!! Loving you all...meaning it!



  1. I didn't see the Emmys but I did just google Melissa Archer's dress...wowza! She looked hawt!

    Anyways, I didn't know it was possible to dislike someone so much without them actually speaking, but white t-shirt guy has succeeded. At first, I was like why is that extra all up in Starr's conversation, and then they did a close-up and I was like damn....

    How has Jessica already scheduled an appointment with the "good" doctor, but St. Anne's is freakin' out still because she escaped? Communication, people!

    The only reason I can think of for these potentially great storylines being crap, is that they are trying to lower our expectation so much that the last months will blow our minds like crazy...at least I'm hoping...please be doing that...

  2. I think I've figured out who is writing 1/2 this show--an escapee from St Anne's-how else to explain the Ford bro scenes or the stupid new characters of Mrs Delgado and her son--we have 6 mos left and NO TIME FOR THIS!!!

    I'm sorry I know you love Clint but I think the escapee is writing his part of the story dealing with Rex too---I just don't believe with the way he accepted Nat and Cord, or adopted the Riley boys he would have contnued the nastiness toward Rex for this long--his attitude is making me hope he never sees that heart. WHy does he need a new one he doesnt' have one now :)

    Those escapee has made me not care about jessica anymore also---this feisty Jess should NEVER had turned to her alters, I wish they would have had Jess dealing withthe wedding fallout without this nonsense. I loved Tess the first time, but her 2nd and 3rd stints were just awful writing. Jessica is only worth her weight in Lord/Buchdom if she REALLY follows thru and keeps Ford away from Ryder forever.

    Aubs and Brody anyone??

  3. @YoSammity yes, she looked fabu!!! Those boobs! OMG OMG OMG! Yes! how AWFUL is that guy in the white shirt?! What is his name? Baz? I'm sure he will be Tomas' son. Lordy. I hate this story already. haha! Yes, she scheduled an appointment with Dr. Levin yet they still called Vicki after in a panic saying she escaped! What a crew of idiots! Maybe St. Ann's is full of monks who don't talk instead of nuns? I pray to the good lord your idea about the storylines getting better at the end is true. However, I'm somewhat thankful...this time last year on the show made me want to kill myself!

    @rac OMG OMG! My blood pressure is rising! Amen! We only have 6 DAMN MONTHS LEFT! I'm nervous as hell! No, you're right about Clint. Yes, I love the man...adore him! HOWEVER, he is handling this Rex thing very poorly. It's a shame really. I hope he does come around soon. No, I'll never dislike Clint but I'd love for him to show us the truly wonderful man he is. :(
    I just don't even care about Jessica anymore. Sad but true. I'm just tired of all the alters and all this foolishness. Thus, I don't like Jessica anymore. Snap...Aubs and Brody? You know, I think both are leaving the show so maybe they could run off into the sunset together....hmmm. Nice thought, rac. ;)

  4. Emmy's were awful, watch a grand total of 10 minutes, turned it off when the Oprah love feast started. The bright side was see Hillary in the audience. She looked amazing, sex on stick is right!

    Well Rex lasted as long as could before he started to spaz. Whenever he impresses me it never last long.

    Clint is an ass to Rex, but truthfully I don't care. I just love seeing Clint.

    Can Ford kidnap Jess and both leave the show for good? Over this my shit don't stink princess crap.

  5. @mojomiller I mean...what is the point in having the Daytime Emmys if they are going to be so damn awful. Seriously. OMG...bright side was indeed Hillary and def sex on a stick! Yes...Rex has done so well and then he had to spaz. Like you, I knew it was coming. Mercy. Yes, Clint is being ATROSH but I'll love him no matter what. I'll excuse all his actions...so biased. OMG...YES I need Ford to take his brothers and Mestiny and Jess and her alters and leave town. Preferably across the ocean...in the desert...away from my tv. Woof!