Saturday, April 30, 2011

Take A Chance On Me

Princess Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge: William, do you think that today's episode of "One Life to Live" will be preempted by coverage of our wedding?
Prince William, Duke of Cambridge: Kate, darling, I wouldn't worry about it. The show has been so dull for the past couple of weeks. I am certain that Americans would not mind watching our wedding instead.

Happy Weekend, Everyone!!

How adorable are the royal newlyweds?! Prince William is dashing, and Princess Catherine is absolutely stunning!

While One Life to Live was not preempted for royal wedding coverage here, I would not have minded if it had been, sadly. I know what you are all thinking already. “Brilliant, MH is back, and we will have to read yet another dissertation on a Friday episode.” Have no fear, my lovelies. Friday’s episode was so boring and crappy that I do not want to just bash the show ad nausium, so I am going to do a drive-by, ME style!! I am going to try REALLY hard not to be too negative throughout this post.

Let’s do this by the characters that are in scenes together, shall we. Ready? (In a British accent) Tally Ho!!

1. Tea and Danielle. I really do enjoy their mother/daughter bond. Further, I enjoy Danielle so much better when she is not joined at the hip to Nathaniel Q. Salinger. Dammit, I said his name. The consequences for doing that will not be good. More on that in a minute. I may very well have to invest in Rosetta Stone (That is for you, ME!!) so that I can understand Tea’s Spanish dialogue since I studied French in high school and college. I do always enjoy hearing a “mija,” though!! Oh, and I understand that Tea is upset that she is just now hearing about the syringe, but she and Danielle need to use their inside voices in the hospital. Ugh - What is with Danielle’s shirt? Sunglasses that frame her boobs? Uh, no. Just no! Woof. Paging Joan Rivers’ Fashion Police! Aaaannnddd, Toad is now awake. Word!

2. Shaun and Nathaniel Q. Salinger (and later Danielle). Of course Nate will be on, of course, because I said his name. F#@k me! Well, not much to say about those scenes. Good to see Shaun. Nate, not so much. Both are suspicious of Thomas. Big whoop! What the hell are they going to do about it? Danielle and Nate profess their love for the billionth time – gag me! This about sums up all of these characters’ pointless appearance on today’s episode.

3. Starr and Blair. I enjoy Starr and Blair’s mother/daughter relationship, too. I am, however, not a fan of mother/daughter wardrobe coordination. Don’t ask me why, but I just do not care for it. If my mother and I are going somewhere together, I always verify what she is wearing so that I don’t wear the same colors! Ridiculous? Perhaps, but that is how my OCD self rolls! Flove Blair’s all black outfit with gold jewelry. She is, in the words of ME, sex on a stick!! She really is! I guess Starr went back to Capricorn because La Boulaie was all out of milk? Way to be supportive of your mum, though, Starr!!

4. James and Deanna (and later Starr). Jesus, take the wheel. I cannot even comment on these effing scenes because they are THAT boring, crappy, and pointless. I am so sick of hearing these three recite the same damn lines of dialogue episode after episode. I am certain that I should feel sorry for Deanna, but I just do not give a rat’s ass about her character, or James’ for that matter. With nine months to go of OLTL (TEAR), these characters and others like them (no names, Nathaniel, Ford, Cutter, Aubs, etc. Need I continue?), should either disappear from the canvas or be placed far in the background so that we can enjoy our core characters (The Fab Five, Renee, in particular). Period!

5. Natalie, Rex, and Gigi. Gigi is back to sucking for the most part. You do not steal the tape of your child’s therapy session from the doctor’s office. Having Nat listen to the tape is not any better. Period! Go to group therapy when he is ready to let you in more, honey. Listen to the doctor! If you don’t trust that she knows what she is doing, switch doctors! In other news: I flove Natalie’s coat. It looks totally fabosh on her!! Her sibling relationship with Rex is wonderful, and I always enjoy seeing them support one another. Aside from Rex telling Nat about Shane’s suicide attempt, their scenes were pretty boring, too. Oh, and I was totally hoping for a “bronzed, fresh from vacay with Hillary Smith” Liam sighting. FAIL! Anyone else notice how that huge sofa pillow was “strategically” placed in front of Liam’s car seat? WTF was the point of that? Made me chuckle!!

6. Blair and Thomas. Well, all of their scenes can truly be summed up in the title of that well-known ABBA classic “Take A Chance on Me”. Come on, you two! Date. Don’t date. Make up your freaking minds already so that this story can progress. Like James and Deanna, Blair and Thomas have the same damn repetitive dialogue every time they are on! Over it!

7. Marty and John. Well, Marty was definitely the one bright spot in today’s show, but the scenes were so stinking short that if I blinked or took a sip of coffee, I missed them. Marty’s dress is absolutely faboosh, and it looks great on her!! This episode obviously had a black theme going on, much like the purple dress code of a couple of weeks ago. Marty remains koo koo for CoCo Puffs, and I continue to enjoy it!! John is catching on! Word!

Well, that is pretty much it for this episode. Not much of a Cliffhanger Friday.

Dammit!! The previews for Monday do not excite me in the slightest. Looks like more of the same craptasticly boring foolishness from Friday. Ugh – I hate it when I am not excited about Monday’s show.

According to spoilers for next week, Bo and Clint will be on by Wednesday. Thank goodness because those two rock their scenes together!! Also, I am glad to see in next week’s spoilers, that Nora and Matthew have finally finished their Hoda and Kathie Lee marathon and will be on by Thursday: Cinco de Drinko! Thank you, God! Bring on the margatitas!! I swear, the lack of follow-up in their story is really working my last nerve. Hopefully we see much more of their story during May Sweeps! I am starting a novena to that effect, STAT!

All righty, my dears, I am off to do a rain dance in hopes of ending the drought we are having here in my neck of the Texas woods, dog-sit for my vacationing aunt and uncle, and grade papers. ME is going to do a drive-by post for Thursday’s episode at some point, I believe. I would have done a drive-by for it myself, but I already deleted it from the DVR.

Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic weekend!! If you woke up in the wee hours of the morning to watch the royal wedding on Friday, catch up on your sleep!!!

Thank you for putting up with my blabbering (and probably some typos) yet again!!

Until next time,


P. S. Shameless Plug: For those of you on Twitter, I highly recommend following Robin Strasser if you are not already. You will not regret it!! Her tweets are beyond fabulous!! She is hilarious and does not hold back!!


  1. I am so disappointed with this episode. I was hoping that they would pick up the stories in the wake of cancellation news. I hope they just don't coast to the finish with crappy stories that no one cares about!

  2. @YoSammitySam How are you? I flove reading your comments!! OMG - You and me both were disappointed in Friday's episode! I started to do a watch and post, but I was literally cursing every other word and just had NOTHING good to say, hense the drive-by! If the previews for Monday's show are any indication, it will be just as horrific as Friday's. Woof! I am totally with you in that I also hope that the show doesn't just coast to the finish with crappy stories. I am also PRAYING that we do not have to endure another teen wasteland of a summer like last year. I will have a nervous breakdown if I have to be subjected to that foolishness again! Ugh! Here's hoping that things start looking up by mid-week!!