Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I'll Have a Bourbon Neat...with a Side of Cardiac Arrest

Bo: "Yep, I'm telling you big brother. When you see that tacky-ass vest Blair has on you are just gonna have a heart attack. It's THAT bad."

Hello Darlings! I've had quite the day off...been lovely. We are apartment hunting tomorrow...woof. I still have some things to do so lemme go on and start. Sorry...could NOT find a pic of Dorian and Clint. :(

Lord...picking up with the proposal.

Geez...it is STILL the same night!!! Cray Cray! Anyway, Deanna needs to COOL IT with the "remember James that place reminds me of such and such back in Dayton." Who gives a shit...not me. Starr needs to knock her out. I like Starr's cute shirt....

Hi Tomas...sup? Ah...I love to look at him. That's really it. I couldn't care less about this storyline right now. Oh, but I'd love to change the way he dresses. Also, John McBain your eyesight will go to hell in a handbasket if you're reading in the dark!!!!

OMG get Blair out of that effing vest immediately! Tea is still in lavender, too.

I'm assuming that Chuckles and Echo aren't hungry since they are just hanging out at the BD. Chuckles is still a disaster just like yesterday.

Of course...Ross sits down late to watch and he's like "Sooooo it's been four days and it's the same night. So, technically they can go for a week and half and it be the same day?" Good point, darling. I guess so.

Again...Nigel ain't comin', Clint. LOL...Dorian is so calm. Flove it.

The unleashing of Nikki Smith...again. God, these two alters in one room...

Dear God in Heaven...I EFFING DESPISE BLAIR'S VEST!!! OMG...will they cool it with this euro talk!? "Do you know how many foreign students go to LU?!" hahahahaha! I dunno, Tea, tell us. I'm actually dying to know. I will say I love Tea and Blair's friendship. They are great together...well, when Blair ain't wearin' that vest.

McBain!!!! Turn on another light...woof!

Gigi...demand a ring, immediately!!! Also, he is a Buch. Now, you should automatically expect extravagant gifts. hehehe. Kidding...a little

I'd like to thank RS and JVD for saving this episode for me (ES, too). I flove them. Dorian is cold! Best Ice Queen EVER!

I see "Andy's Deli" in the background, Chuckles and Echo. If you two are hungry, y'all should swing by there. Doubt they have "Access Llanview" showing. Just a thought. Ok...I HATE how they are feeling sorry for V. Ugh.

"Damn, I should have known. Vicki's got a bum ticker and her husband's a lush." YES!!!! Ok, so it literally is so strange seeing Nikki when Vicki is normally so cool, calm, and sophisticated. Lord. Uncanny.

Awe hell...Deanna is going to stay with Starr.

I am just NOT buying this Echo/Charlie thing. I can't get on this bandwagon. Cannot. Willnot. Refuse.

Ok, so Tess has "the look" of Jess right now. The facial expressions and all. Will someone please tell Nikki that Vicki and Chuckles (yes...the heart patient and AA member) keep a fully stocked bar in the living room. Totally available and fully stocked. Just go in there, Nikki. OMG...the men, pigs, bacon comment. I think I just peed myself.

I can't handle these Blair/Tea scenes nor pay attention carefully because I am THAT damn distracted by the black vest with the purple back and lavender flower. So...well, that's it.

A flash of Roger Howarth...cha ching! That is where Toad's paycheck is going...to pay the REAL Todd Manning.

These Starr/James/Deanna scenes are falling kinda flat.

Dear God, as much as I want someone to rush to Clint's rescue...I'm TOTALLY okay with Dorian's maliciousness during all this. Flove it. And, hell I know Clint doesn't die so I can sit back and enjoy this. Aaaaand, Dorian just said "bitch." Katie...did you hear that? I know you love it. I love it, too! Dorian has been tossing around "Karma is a bitch. Payback is a bitch. Etc." Keep it up.

I know it is totally wrong, but I am totally finding these Rex and Gigi scenes boring. Granted, I think it is great they are getting married. About damn time! However, I'm kinda bored with this. It is totally a personal issue. I'm just not invested in these two...that's all. So for all the Rex and Gigi peeps...congrats! Ross just said (as he plays poker...lord help me) that "These scenes seems stupid." Hmmm

Again...distracted by the vest. Lemme try. LOL...Tea: "He has been painting and making music." Love it.

I wonder how often John uses his dartboard? Yeah...John McBain is no clown, Tomas. You won't fool this bastard. He will whisper his way to the truth while he wears all black clothing...fact.

Starr...stick with your plan!!! Deanna staying with James won't work! Ask your Aunt Vicki!!!

YESSSS!!!! Dorian is indeed the badass this episode not Clint the pimp Buchanan. She is so choice.

OMG...that pink cardigan with the flowers on Vicki!!!! I swear that's from the Limited Too!!! Maybe it's Bree's?! That child looks like a grown woman nowadays.

Lord have mercy. God knows I miss Hannah (aka Marty 2.0) however I do NOT miss the way Starr pronounces it...HAUNNAH. Ugh!!! Starr: "And, I have a kid..." REALLY?!?! Wait just a damn minute!!!! NO ONE told me this!!! Where is this kid?! You're always out doing shit. Never seen him or her...

Wow, Tomas. Could you show me how to pose for a passport photo? Mine is horrendous. Yours is fabu. John McBain WILL solve this shit. I love him. Nadia?! What the hell?

LOL...I had to laugh when Tea said "ninja assasain." I love ninjas, p.s.

Disaster, Hurricane, Mudslide, Tornado...that's Charlie.

"I don't need a ring...yet." GIGI YOU ARE SO DUMB!!!!!! If there was ever a time to be a bitch, it's now. Demand it. If not, then Rex will let it go by the wayside...yes, despite the fact he said she will get a big one.

These alters together are HILAR! All these alters dress in such bold clothing.

"Is that anyway to greet the calvalry?" I.Love.Dorian. Aaaaand, they are redeeming Clint EVEN as he is having a heart attack...."I promised I wouldn't." Even trying to keep Echo's secret during a heart attack. Wow. SHOVING IT DOWN OUR THROATS! That's okay though...just pointing it out. Clint has everything recorded, yo. LOL..."that sleazy, lying slut." Dorian, Please continue to be awesome. xx, ME

Dear God...NO ONE pronounces Gigi's name the same!!!!!!

Eh...not into a Gigi and Rex love scene. This is largely in part to their similar haircuts. I simply cannot tell who is who when they are rolling around. Woof.

I'd love for Tomas and Tea to not be siblings and do it. Just telling you in case I haven't said it 50,000 times.

Well...Nadia sure is wearing a vibrant shade of green. All I got.

I can't really write about the Dorian/Clint scenes because they are just THAT flippin' fantastic! Did anyone forget Dorian is a doctor? Lord knows I forget half the time...

Yeah...Tess "looks" like Jess right now. Man, I was hoping these Nikki scenes would be longer. Woof.

Please God, don't let Blair get into another disasterous relationship. PUH-LEEZE!!!

John McBain WILL figure shit out.

I have GOT to try this "Hounds" beer. It is obviously all the rage in town.

Nikki...just go into the living room and take a shot of vodka or something! FLOVE her imitation of Vicki!!!

It is bothering me that Chuckles and Echo haven't eaten. Echo about Vicki: "She's an amazing woman." OMG...Charlie to Echo: "I really appreciate you sayin' that because I know how hard it has been for you." I CANNOT handle this shit.

Fierce phone call, Dorian. Clint needs to be sweating a bit more at this point...I think.

Here is hoping tomorrow is fabu!



  1. RS was the best thing on today, which is saying a lot considering how much I love ES and JVD. Calm and cold...nothing more frightening...

  2. Mija, I don't know who you are (I just clicked on this link from Facebook) but I have not laughed this FREAKEN hard at a blog in forever. Your comments are ridiculously funny! Holy crap, I just can't get enough. I WILL be passing this along. :)


  3. LOVED the blog today even more than usual. I have been struggling with watching OLTL and just enjoying instead of being sad that it is incredibly good right now and all of this is not fair to us or the actors and crew. (I couldnt even get through the theme song on Thurs/Fri without tears and I don't even really like this theme song.) Today's fun episode with Niki and Dorian and your hilarious comments have made me remember that I should watch the show for fun just like I have since I was 6 and not get bogged down in a daily morbid countdown to the end. We have too much great stuff coming up with the return of RH, which I have been waiting for for years, more Matthew fallout and the Viki tribute next week to be sad everyday. Thanks for a great post and pulling me out of this cancellation funk. Happy Apartment hunting!

  4. ME, glad to have you back! Totally missed your hilarious take on the show! This was my introduction to Nikki Smith, and it was awesome! I love her!

    Oh and I loved the Clint and Dorian scenes, even though no one can hold on that long while having a hard attack and have a full conversation! I was laughing so hard at Dorian! Yeah and him saying that he promised Echo he wouldn't tell was totally cheesy...

    Oh John McBain...he always gets his man...

  5. Yes, that was the Dorian we know and love. She was just confused for a while after Ray took off. She's back, bitches! Dorian IS the karma! haha

  6. @Christie YES!!! Dorian was THE best! Like I mentioned, I was hoping there would have been more Nikki...oh well. Calm, Cold, Ice Queen Dorian..my fav!

    @JenHullman Jenni, I'm so glad you liked it! Thanks for the sweet compliments! I just post the link on Facebook so tell whoever you think would be interested. Hope you continue to like it and thanks again, dear!

    @Lauren Thank dear. I've cried about this enough. :( I decided I can't let the cancellation ruin my enjoyment of the show. Not to mention, I feel I need to be the same and positive on this blog. We are all upset it's canceled and people don't want to keep hearing it from me...so, like you I'm just gonna enjoy it! However, I'm sure come holiday time (Turkey Day, Christmas, the last month too) I'll be sobbing all the time! AH! You're right...it's gonna rock until the end I just know it! So glad you enjoyed the blog more than usual. Oh, are you in law school finals? How are they going, dear? Thanks for the apartment luck. This will be the bane of my existence for the next couple of weeks! Grrr.

    @YoSammity Thank darling...glad to be back!!! I missed your comments, too. Wait...you're a Nikki Smith virgin?! Cash your card in! She is fab and hilar! haha...totally hilar that Clint talked the whole time during his "hard attack." Yep...John McBain is totally THE MAN in black. His whispers seek the truth...shhhhh ;)

    @Jen OMG...FLOVED Dorian! She needs to stay faboosh! You're right...Ray's departure left her confused a bit. LOL. Here's hoping her fierceness is in full force to the end!

  7. I can't wait wait wait for Dorian to play that tape for Chuckie--How in Victor's name did Vikki marry someone so disgustingly stupid--Are you kidding me Chuckles the Clown with "thanks for being kind about Vikki" crap--he reminds me of Sheriff Droop-along--I hate Echo too and I hope when Rex finds out he just slams a door in her face

    Speaking of Rex--if Shane comes downstairs and finds you 2 doing it on the couch he will jump off a roof--seriously yuck!!

  8. oops my bad Droop-along was just a Deputy--even better!

  9. YES! Dorian said bitch!! My life is complete! Holy hell Charlie is a moron though. Someone needs to beat his ass with a rolled up newspaper.

  10. You rock! - I love your blog and thank you for all the effort and hard work. If I'm ever in Chicago - we all need to meet and have a ONTLtini. My goodness - the stuff in it! Thank you - Dorian Rules. She can be so Liz Taylor!

  11. @rac OMG I don't know how Vicki married such an idiot either! Some things will just NEVER be explained! EVER! I simply can't handle Chuckles talking to Echo about vicki....CANNOT deal! LOL...Droop-along!

    @katie Holy Hell about Charlie right! Yes, I thought of you when Dorian said "bitch." Knew you'd love it. Oh and yes someone needs to steamroll Charlie's ass.

    @Christina Why thank you!!! What a compliment. You sure know how to flatter a girl! Lord knows you won't have to twist my arm for martinis. I'm more than down for that. We would have a great time! Yes...Dorian does remind me of Liz (when she was in her prime). Thanks again! ;)