Monday, April 11, 2011

This Week Has Started Off at a Turtle's Pace...

Christian: "I don't see how I have time to take Rama to see her hubby at Statesville. My character has had soooo much goin' on lately. I don't have time for this shit. "

Goodness! It's late...yikes! I had a FABULOUS day! Hope y'all did, too! Not only did I avert a crisis at work, but I got to shop today AND my flippin' fantabulous friend, Beth, sent me Cover Girl "Lash Blast Fusion" in bulk! Bonus it was wrapped beautifully and had a presh note. Ah! I suggest all of you gals who read this try Lash Blast Fusion. If you are using expensive designer mascara like I was, ditch it and use this! It'll change your life! My friends switched and lurve it.
Ok, so I'm literally watching/typing. No time to stop and pick up quotes today! Tomorrow I will...assure you. I heard today wasn't the best. Let's see if that holds true...

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I know this episode will suck because of the Serenity Springs gym. Obviously, Nikki Smith missed my last post OR her actions are just delayed. Let's pray for the latter.

Cutter and Ford are practically the same to me at this rate...

Dorian still looks FABU in that outfit. Awe...Marko. Sup? Of course, you will be nice to Lang because you are nice. Even though she was effing Ford for months...woof.

Rama, you're gorgeous and entertaining but you don't give a flying f*@K about Vimal. Word.

haha...."You're not Rama." Damn right!!! She is Marty "don't be tardy for the party" Saybrooke! Get it right, V!

Woof...Natalie just said "our baby." This is ridic. hehe...yours and Lovett.

This gym is sooooooo fabulous. Aaaaaand, Ford affords a membership how? Yeah, that's what I thought.

What? Is that Jess? I don't think it is. Jess' face usually changes...didn't this time. Did it? Maybe I'm tired.

Remember when Dorian loathed Marko? Yeah, I do too. "Freedom spoon?" LOL. Damn...Dorian just said "Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. Any writer will tell you that." Hell...this is upsetting, Mayor Lord. Way to hurt my feelings.

More like stop kidding YOURSELF are you affording this membership?!?! I just can't imagine the singing hot dog business to be lucrative. Even if he is making money he has rent on his apartment and groceries and kids (Ryder, James, and now Deanna) to care for. The gym membership is frivilous.

HA! I knew it wasn't Jess coming back. I am so tricky. Go me. Eh...I ain't into this steam room sex. Maybe because Cutter has STDs, and I'm over the steam room?

Yeah, I mean these bastards lollygag at the gym like nobody's business. NOTHING productive goin' on here. No sir...

Was that a Cole Thornhart mention? Hmmm. Vimal doesn't look good in that fake denim...

Is it wrong that I kinda like John McBain better when he was drinking Jim Daniels? Yes, it is but I don't care.

And, Dorian has time to be the producer, go on trips, stay at home all day...aaaaand be the mayor. Woof Woof. David and Dorian are going off to have sex. Nice.

Christian has no diretion. I've beaten that to death. I looked down to type "Christian" and the scene was over.

Vimal: "I think about you often." Ummmmm creepy. Marty's eyes are like crazy fireworks.

Eh...the Ford/Brody scene was so-so.

Natalie is desperate, yo? I think she could brainwash me over time.

That's right, Joey. Aubs ain't are. Listen to Kelly, pre-schooler. Think of her as your teacher's aid. Snack time in 30...

Sidenote: The Zatarain's commercials are infuriating. For those who don't know, the King of Mardi Gras does not make the mix. Absurd.

Attempting sex in a steam room. That does not sound fun. It sounds like cardiac arrest or a heat I wrong? Or just lame?

Of course, David will be across the country from Dorian because he has to go do "Desperate Housewives." Piggies. I hate how he comes and goes. And, I actually LOL'd when David walked in with glasses and said "Madame producer, I'm here for the audition." From the peanut gallery: Ross is peeing on himself and almost spilled his wine when David said "monologue." He took it as a double entendre. Who says OLTL doesn't make you think? It does!

Lord have mercy...Karen the pizza girl? That bitch gets mentioned more than Renee!!!! FAIL!!! Egregious! Ugh.

Natalie, hush with telling John he can hold the kid. Just stop. Natalie: "Liam doesn't care about DNA." Did Liam tell you that as he listened to the Miles Davis playlist John made?

GT must have just come back from vaycay. She's quite bronze. If I were Aubs, I'd be upset by all this...just sayin'.

I will go burn the steam room myself, at this point. It is BEGGING me to...

This post is TERRIBLE!!!! I'm only halfway through the show! Sheesh!!!

Joey is so silly. What guy would have this convo with Kelly in front of his new wife. I'm telling you the SS gym is just a sweaty book club meeting...

John and Natalie need to hash this shit out! Stop going in circles!

Sooo....Marty switched the tests? Yes? No?

When was the last time Christian and Marty had a scene just the two of them?

Melissa Archer can cry ON CUE like no other!!! She is so fab at it! Damn! Go ahead girlfriend...

Ross and I just died out laughing when Dorian said she can't go back to L.A. with David because she is mayor of Llanview. This has just become hysterical. I love how over the top Dorian is with her bedroom attire.

He shouldn't be able to work with you Lang, because you couldn't keep your legs closed and you lied for months...BUT he will because he is nice. Free pass, ho.

This.Gym.Must.Go. I'd rather be at a Waffle House surrounded by nothing but prostitutes than watch this shit. That is just the first thing that came to mind. I could take it further and say I would rather be at Super Wal-Mart on Christmas Eve for 5 straight hours and am now being forced to go the Waffle House with the prostitutes. Plus, there is a table of screaming children.

Damn...she's removing the ring. Kinda depressing. I'm sure I'm remotely upset because Melissa Archer is crying. Otherwise, I'm okay with it because I'm not into John and Natalie together, but sad nonetheless..

Lord..."Access Llanview" shoutout. Poor Vimal.

I blinked and missed the Christian/Marty scene...

OMG!!!!!!!!!! John McBain just let out a tear!!!! Ok, they are both upset...ugh. This is kinda sad. Damn...if you think about it: What a shitty place to break up officially. Or at least give the ring back. The LPD? F*@K THAT!!!! Ugh. I'd rather break up at Waffle House. Then run off with a prostitute. Of course...there's Brody.

Poor Vimal. Ugh. He is so gullable.

No f*@kin' way....Kelly IS INDEED working out in her fashionable attire. Then she just leaves after hitting the speed bag about 5 times.

WOW!!!!!! "I've heard of kissing cousins but this is ridiculous." Nice.

Whew! NOT my best post! I was exhausted aaaaand, let's be serious, this show was not the best. Hello? Compared to last Monday? Ross was entertained thoughout. Oh well, I am quite confident the show will deliver this week. PLUS, hell has officially frozen over: Bo and Nora AND Matthew are in the promo for this week!!!! AH!!!! This hasn't happened since their wedding. Lord have mercy!

Previews have Queen V, Chuckles and Echo...yay!

See you kiddies tomorrow! Definitely aiming for an earlier post.



  1. Todays edition of The Llanview Ledger was brought to you by "Lash Blast Fusion"...because you're worth it! (is that the tagline?)

    I totally did not know that sarcasm was so low on the comedy totem pole, thats all I possess!

    We can blame your post on the show, pretty much nothing happened today! :(

  2. finally figured out the natalie attraction to John--She grew up in an abusive home and he's an abuser! She craves the woes is me drama he causes her--Brody is too nice and she would get bored

  3. ZZZZZZzzzzzzzz. Oh, was OLTL just on? I am just happy I didn't try to slit my wrist when I saw they gym set. When are we meeting to burn that down? I am not far from Chicago, I sure we can find a good meeting place.

    I also thought I was losing my mind when I saw the Bo, Nora, and Matthew promo, what?! Did you see that HBS also did the This week on ABC Daytime, what is going on over at ABCD to allow such things?

  4. Yeah, not the best show...Yawn...I was completely "underwhelmed".....I thought for sure Marty would fess up to the switcheroo, but nah...And Tess faked "Jess" and punked Cutter....The Natalie scenes with John were pretty gut wrenching..probs due to those teary eyes, and John's tear was a bonus.....I too am extremely sick of that stupid Gym and will join the angry mob going in to burn it down....We need some meat & potatoes today...BO, Nora & Matthew, PLUS.....Puhleeeeeeeeeeeze Crazy Eyes, spill the beans and move this story line along ! Lets get these babies situated and move on !!!! Thanks for writing about it anyway Mija !!!

  5. Those gym scenes made me cringe as well - Ford now looks even more wimpy (if possible) after being taken down by Brody, Cutter AND Tess. He is just a peanut with a 6 pack - yuck.
    Natalie and John scenes had me crying! I struggle with John because the writers are just not explaining what the undercurrent is. Is he really this upset that she had a ONS w/ Brody before he was with her? If he had said, "I wish I could make a family with you but I just can't get past the lies" I would have bought it more. But no, he just snarks about her and Brody. And the "not my DNA" argument just doesn't ring true for his character after he married Blair to help her keep HER kids and he helped Marty with HER kid. Anyhoo, LOVE ME and MA when they really go to the mattresses and this was best scene since the botched wedding, imo.
    Why why why does Aubrey have to fall for Joey? I mean she is infinitely more interesting sparring with Clint. Kelly and Joey actually interested me a little today when they fought - especially when he got all intimidating later at the punching bag. I might root for them.
    I fear at least a few more weeks of those damn test results falling out of Marty's grasp. When is sweeps?!

  6. Natalie’s right. Liam doesn’t care about DNA. He cares about who is actually there for him. That would be Brody, not John. They are beating this thing to death. John had two weeks of being a dad and made a mix CD. Brody has been more of a father to that baby than anyone could have hoped. And I still think he and Natalie ought to make another one just to keep things interesting.

    I really don’t like the idea of Kelly getting with this new Joey. Isn’t he supposed to be older than she is? I wish Castle would get canceled just so we could get the real Joey back and take this toddler away.

  7. I just don't understand what made them hire this guy to play joey--he doesn't fit--there is no chemistry with a single actor on the show and he always looks annoyed--always! Didn't I read they had originaaly hired the guy who plays Cutter to play Joe? Makes so more sense--Dorian NEVER would have slept with the current guy--she doesn't do fetuses!! (at least I don't think so!)

  8. Ok...another drive by post before I have to get serious with work!

    @YoSammity That mascara is the shit...just sayin'. I know my post was awful, but sometimes I just have ZERO to work with. Difficult to do!

    @rac Brody is so nice. I at least want them to hook up. However, I'm afraid he might be leaving the show. And, you're correct! They DID hire Cutter to play Joey then did a switcheroo. Why? I haven't a damn clue! I miss old Joey...tear. :(

    @mojomiller OMG...zzzzzzz is right! Oh, and I damn near fell out: Bo, Nora and Matthew on a promo...AND HBS did the this week in abc daytime thing. How wonderful. Also, HBS must have dressed herself in the "this week in abcd" because they won't dress Nora in awesome clothes like that. My one wish!

    @krisi OMG...DEF not the best show! ha! Of course, Ross found it thoroughly entertaining. I'm like "are you on crack?" Natalie and John were awesome with those tears. OMG...crazy eyes needs to spill ASAP! Dragging this shit out like no other. Guess for her exit story?? No clue. I need B/N/M back on too. woof. You're quite welcome, by the way!

    @anonymous Peanut with a 6 pack...hilar. OMG...the gym scenes make me go into a fit of range so I can't discuss. Nat/John scenes were fab. Those tears!!! They were spot on. Agreed it was the best scene since the wedding that never happened. I like Aubrey sparring with Clint, too! They have such sexual tension in my opinion. I'm also ready for Marty to spill the beans about the tests...DRAGGGGGGGING this shit out!

    @Desi Amen!!! Brody has def been more of a father to the baby. A simple mix tape is not enough! Yes, Joey is supposed to be older, but it soooo looks like Kelly is older than this Joey. Sad, really. They really were so fab as a couple back in the day. They were always witty and hilar. :(

    @rac Actually, on Joey's first day or two on the show I kinda liked him. Then, that went to hell in a handbasket QUICKLY. Lord have mercy! wait...I think I answered this above, but yes they hired Cutter to play Joey originally. Sorry if I just answered that twice!