Marty: "So John, you can come to the Memorial Day cookout that Hannah O'Connor and I are hosting? The marinade is great, and I will be roasting Kelly Cramer. De-lish."
Hello! Hello! Hello! It's almost bunny time! I am so thankful I get off work at 3 tomorrow, because I am dragging all kinds of ass! Oh, and also...I had ZERO comments from my last post. Not that I'm upset, but I sure hope I didn't offend anyone! Was the post that terrible? It was decent, I thought? Hmmm. Anyway, I'll leave it alone. Now if people don't comment for a week then maybe there are problems...just a tad. ;)
F*@k me. NuJack is in the FIRST scene. I hate today already. "You know it's April vacation?" You mean spring break, dipshit? Who says "April vacation?"
Lord have mercy. Here is the terrible doctor from the ER. I'm praying she is better in the office. Fingers crossed. OMG...this whole thing is kinda awkward.
I just can't handle NuJack. I want to give him an open wound and just pour the salt in it. YES!!! I know that is uber bitch of me. I don't care.
Great...now fake "Toad" in the bed. Lord today. LOL...Tomas with a syringe. This show is all about syringes, I swear.
Ooooh YES!!! John McBain--all dark clothing, whispering, being cool...check. Yay! Aaaaand he and Kelly! YAY!!! They are being normal and cute. Let's hope it stays that way. Oh, I'm sorry...there is some St. Anne's marinade that just dripped on you, John. Lookout! Marty is on the scene! Boom. Unleash crazytown please.
Wow...Brody is beyond adorable with the baby and all the gear. The three of them look cute. Natalie's boobs look FABU, p.s. I need a pair like that!
John...be careful! She will attack! Don't let those cute golden ringlets fool you into thinking Madame Marty is demure and cute...just no.
OMG that baby is edible!!!! Those cheeks!!! Good God!
Be.Still.My.Heart. Thank you God! Bo Buchanan...welcome. I'm so happy to see you. I needed this. Wait...may I just say that it is egregious and absurd that there has been no follow-up with Matthew saying he was ready to confess. I'm assuming that Matt and Nora are just hanging out at home watching Kathie Lee and Hoda. Obviously...
F*@kkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nathaniel Q. Salinger (Quincy?). God Bless. It's almost Easter weekend for crying out loud. Of course, this bastard has to hop into my life before the bunny. OF COURSE. Woof Woof. Wait...so where is that syringe? Sidenote: Tomas is quite tan.
OMG...all they are talking about is that damn Euro they found at the scene! For the love of muff! Can we PUH-LEEZE get off of the Euro business. The only reason it's absurd is because everyone's like "My God, don't you know there are a shit-ton of people with Euros in Llanview." Comical. Awe...Bo's shirt is cute. YESSSSSSS!!!!! Bo just said "Thomas." I flove him.
Ah! The syringe is by Nate's foot. Tomas you just can't win.
Gosh...it just grates on my nerves that NuJack has an attitude with Blair. AHHHHH!!!! I just want to scream when I see children roll their eyes, act rudely, and flat out disrespect their parents. Damn. Blair doesn't deserve this. Granted, her choices in men have been piss-poor at best but still...
Let the child speak to the doctor alone Balsom-Morasco's. It is just more awkward if y'all are in there.
OMG...that.baby.is.the.best. How cute!!! I'm sorry. I like Natty and Brody more by the day, and I know it probably won't go anywhere.
Kelly darling, listen: Barefoot Contessa NEVER fails me, so she won't fail you. John will love it. I swear by the woman. She is like my best (imaginary) friend. Go get her latest one...fabu. xx, ME SNAP!!!! Marty's marinating all over town!!! AHHH!!!! Shallow note: lovely necklace, Kelly. I have one VERY similar. Anyway...LOL. John's only with you to hurt Natalie. Love it! Marty is STIRRING THE DAMN POT!!!!
I blinked and missed the Brody/Natalie scene.
Blair, I just want to take the time to thank you for getting out of that shiteous vest. I'll give you one of my Cadbury eggs. Like you'd eat it, but still. It's the thought that counts. Wow...Clint's men are going after NuJack...oh.hells.yes.
Gigi...let the boy talk to the doctor alone. F*@k. Listen to Rex!!! I will say...Rex is quite doting and understanding when he wants to be. I love a sweet guy/man.
CLINT EVEN HAD HIS MEN GO AFTER SHANE WHILE BEING BEDRIDDEN FROM A HEART ATTACK. HE IS SUCH A PIMP, BADASS, NINJA. Aww hell, Tomas why did you show up? Really???!!!
This whole CIA thing is weird. I honestly don't have the first effing clue about who Tomas really is...seriously. I haven't read spoilers on this so I am just as in the dark as you are. Hmmm I wonder if Bo makes strong coffee like I do? Also, who are Bo's contacts at the agency?
Blair...he needed that. I'm sorry. I'm sure I'll catch hell for that, but I can't stand this kid. WOOF!
I must say that I TOTALLY see where Shane is coming from. He is probably like "I almost killed myself so my parents want to help and fix it and get married. They don't have to do that. Plus, I'm still a loser." This doctor does not make me feel comfortable...
Wait...why doesn't Tomas want Blair to call the police?? Hmmm.
I am thankful that Nate hasn't been on too much this episode. Ok, y'all fake "Toad" is so much bigger than regular "Toad." His tummy!!! Well, Tomas just caught another break...
I love Natalie's necklace, too. Awe...a little Brody/Natty hug. WOW! I can't believe they are giving Rex and Natalie a scene together! I feel like it's been ages!
Wow...not only is Marty acting crazy, but now she is acting crazy ABOUT John, too. Like obsessive, crazy, stalker girlfriend crazy. Wait...can I just say that I FLOVE these Kelly/Marty scenes! I mean...I really do.
WAIT...I have to say this. So, we DVR at our house and all but sometimes I'll watch the bumpers. OMG, when the Blair one is on Ross and I kinda sing in that high pitched voice like Blair does. We are such douches. Obviously, Blair sounds good...us, not so much.
OMG I FLOVE these Kelly/Marty scenes.
Awe, Bo I feel like I have hardly seen you today...whannn! Of course, Bo remains selfless as ever and asks John how he is doing. Le sigh.
Marty (in crazy, assertive voice): "You will not win. I will not allow it." Sweet Lord! I can't even elaborate or say sassy things because they are THAT good! Ok, so Kelly genuinely looked scared. You should be girlfriend. OMG...Ross is totally insulted that "The Sun" has a handrawn (which he finds mindboggling and stupid) chart of the Euro against the dollar.
That's right, Bo. You know your guilt will overcome you and you'll go visit. Sidenote: he is STILL bronzed and glowing! Flove.
Ugh...the Rex/Natty scenes are too short! They are never together and now they are and NOTHING. So damn quick!
Gigi don't be stupid. I hate stupidity: mine or anyone else's. You know she can't repeat what Shane says. Hush. Game over.
You know Blair, I'm sure NuJack got beat up for wearing that t-shirt he has on. It's hideous. Is it just me or is Tomas totally CONSPICUOUS!? I mean, he tries to be cool, calm, and collected...and inconspicuous. However, he screams "I'm a suspect!" Woof.
NQS is using his brain. Good for him. I still don't like him. At all. Sean has hardly talked!!! WTF is up with that? Give him some lines.
Lord...Bo feels guilty. Yes, he won't go to the hospital now...but there is guilt.
I EFFING BLINKED and missed the Rex/Natty scene! WOOF! I understand Natalie's point, but I understand Rex's more. I understand why he doesn't want to see him. That's all I got.
Thank God, Gigi is acting normal again. I liked the doctor with Gigi. Hmmm. I dunno what's going on.
Jack!!!! Do NOT yell and say "What?! Why not?" to your mother like that. You.Need.Your.Ass.Beaten. I must say that Blair was slightly dense with leaving NuJack alone...dumb.
Kelly: "Marty just showed up at my office, and it was weird to say the least." LOL. Staking her claim. I FLOVE territorial, stalker Marty. Hmmm....Kelly will figure this out, maybe. John will have a lot going on.
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!! "Yes something's wrong!" I cannot tell you how much I am enjoying cray cray sauce Marty. I want this bitch to wreck havoc!!! (selfish note: Not on Bo and Nora because they have enough going on. Ok, thanks) This bitch is a ticking time bomb!!! Tick tock...
LOL..."just when I thought my day couldn't get any weirder." Kelly and Marty have made the show today. WTF? Is there something in that envelope having to deal with the REAL TODD? Hmmm.
I am so tired of Tomas being suspicious...hurry this up dammit. We only have until January.
Where are these kids' parents?!?!?! Good God! Shane is terrified and NuJack is in much too good condition.
Bo is in deep thought...lord have mercy.
Awe...John seeing Natty and the bay-bay. That kinda tugged at my heart.
Wow...what a bombshell. Natalie had whose baby?! John's you say?! NOOOOOO!!!! It can't be! The show has not led us to believe that for a minute. I KNOW for a fact that piece of paper Marty has been throwing around has been a recipe for baby back ribs. You mean to tell me it was Natalie's paternity test results. Well...I'm just shocked.
Marty and Kelly made the show today. Plus, I adored seeing Bo even though he hardly said a damn thing.
Hope tomorrow is a GOOD FRIDAY! Get it? ;)
Oh, love you all! See you tomorrow or Saturday. Probably tomorrow.