I Mean...The Reason Why OLTL Can't Be THIS Good Everyday Is????? Exactly...

Natty: "Yes, I'll go home and have sex with you cowboy. I'm trashy like that. Or so my sister, Jessica thinks so. Might as well prove her right."

Well Happy Thursday and for some of you Happy Rosh HaShanah! I am still on the mend and have now scheduled an orthopedic appointment and might just go on and bite the bullet and go to the emergency room...woof woof woof. I'll stop because I know y'all don't give a shit and I don't want to be THAT person discussing injuries...no one likes a person like that! Anyway, I heard the show was great yesterday! I'm excited! So let's not wait any longer shall we?

Wednesday, September 28th--Marty Is Now In Custody For Pushing Me Down The Stairs. Out Of Guilt, McBain Is Filling In For Her Today. Whoop Whoop!

Wait...it go dark THAT quickly?! Jess was JUST doing double dutch and the sun was out! Damn...it went from light to dark quicker than Rex's flights to and from Anchorage, KY!

AHHHH!!!! Clint! Hey gorgeous, what's happening? I'm injured so come visit me. Peeing...remind Clint to fire the nurse. I love it. Ooooh I must say that Brody does look rather dapper.

I mean...so the guy read the will in daylight and now he is reading the same paragraph and it is nighttime. Got it. IRENE IS FAAAABULOUS!!!!! That's all.

So Starr is gonna bust Todd outta jail? Hell, she knows enough about invisible ink and CIA agents from long ago so why not be able to bust your dad out of jail?

I think I peed when Jess said Brody had to buy two rings this year because I was hoping she would say one for Natty and the other for her boobs! No.Such.Luck. (I just said that in my best Nora Buchanan voice). Oh well. My quote would have been better!

Y'all how presh is Clint! Can't deal. Aaaand why are the doors to Llanfair not open? I now feel odd if the doors aren't wide ass open for any and all to enter and stay the night.

And I don't really care about this Natty and Jess argument. Jess is right that Brody is Natty's consolation prize. On the other hand, I agree that Natty didn't steal Brody. Natty can't help that Jessica is batshit crazy. I mean...the bitch was just double dutching and her kids are at home. Oh, and she just flirted it up with a hot dog.

I thought Irene asked "There are puppies?" No, she asked "There are copies?" I'm losing it. This will reading...what a crock. Don't get me wrong I'm enjoying it but this shit is NOT legit. LOL.

Ugh...is Louie going to be the one that dies next week or something? Boo. On another note, I have a feeling I am going to like Starr during this whole break Todd out of jail thing. I need the badass child she used to be to surface like right flippin' now. That would awesome sauce.

I love that Blair called Irene a bitch and Irene's response was "You'll be sorry you called me that." I like it.

I missed the memo about Starr being a genius. On another note, that "Rain Water" Starr is drinking looks contaminated.

I love that Tea does criminal law, civil law, and knows about wills. I mean...in the real world it doesn't work that way. Hardly NO ONE knows about wills! Seriously.

Ventricular fibrulation? Realy Starr? I don't believe this...

NuJack's shirt matches the damn moo cow/vomit ottomon. Very fitting. I love that Irene now wants to kick everyone out. Word.

RH looks nice with water thrown on him. Peeing...heart attacks are for old guys like Clint Buchanan! Watch it RH! Don't talk about the fox.

Jess just mispronouced "accomplished." I don't blame you, Natty. I wouldn't want to be Jess' doormat either. This argument will no doubt dominate the show today. Woof Woof. Oh snap...I do love that Jess called Natalie "trailer trash." Very nice. YES! Now Jess called Natty "trashy" and then "trash." Do I like Jess? Nah...not really. She ain't my fav. But I do like all this trash coming out of her mouth.

Now Clint I love you but don't tell Brody he didn't want to love a child that wasn't his blood. I mean...let's be real.

SNAP! Natty pulled the Mitch Lawrence card! Word...I do like that. This argument is pretty decent the more I see of it. I want it to end this episode though...

Ooooooh RH is about to escape!!!!

I can't shut up about Tea and Vicki's dresses....now I like Tina's too. AWE HELL...REALLY?! Irene wants to keep NuJack. Perfect. Lemme tell ya the little bastard is sooo worth it. Ugh. Wow Blair...nice slap. Felicia Evans' slap was more powerful but I'll take this one.

I LOVE IT! Starr just jacked the gun! UGH...why can't she be like this all the time?! Dammit to hell!

Vicki's reactions to Tina are so fabulous. haha...Tea's reactions, too! I'm wetting my pants...Tina doesn't understand why BOTH of her brothers married Blair! ha! One word: BOOBS. LE DUH!!!! Hell, I'd marry Blair. Those boobs are fabulous.

I love all these "trash" references during this Buch twin fight.

I mean...I need Clint to be on more this episode.

Starr is being a badass! "Take their radios and gag them." I mean...mah-velous! These cops are ass clowns...p.s. I mean...my weenie dog could take down these fools.

Blair has some good jokes today! I loved her sass when she said "Tina, you're riiiiich." Nice! I need Blair like this all the time, too! Mother and Daughter intervention!

Hell will freeze over first...loves it Vicki. Loves it. And loves you.

That ottomon MUST go!!!! I love that Tina wants the ring appraised! OH HELL NO!!!!! Eff Mestiny calling Dan-YELLA! I don't even need that bitch on the phone with Dan-YELLA off camera...not to mention on an episode. Again, Dan-YELLA and Tea are just so damn believable as mother and daughter.

RH and Starr...reunited and it finally feels so good. I did miss THIS RH and Starr combo. Love it!

Le sigh...a Jared mention. Cute thing. I mean....Natty has a point with all this foolishness. Jess is just a mess that causes trouble. Word.

Clint is a badass...even poor! I mean...watching him he seems even better post heart transplant! How is that even possible?!

SNAP!!!!! The twins are going at it! Jess can hit AND double dutch! Holy shit! Too bad there isn't a giant mud pool they can wrestle in...

What the hell? Who is this dude talking to Irene? Guess just one of her minions.

I love it. Tina can't believe she only got that ring. Paging Cord...he surfaces on Thursday's episode! Come save Tina, Cord! Only you can!

This fight is so over the top. To be honest, I'd prefer watching Marty and Natalie go at it and someone fly off a roof. Oh.Hells.Yes.

I love that Tea is just pecking away on the computer while Vicki and Tina go at it. Awe...where IS little David Vickers?! I wanted to see him this episode! I bet he went to find Morris...

I wonder if Irene is sleeping with her little minion. I felt something sexual in that last scene when she was talking to him.

Snap! Is Clint talking to Cord?! Surely!

Now Brody why did you have to break up the fight? Le barf.

Yes! Todd WILL save the day, bitches! He will. AH!!!! A bomb?! I lurve it. Hmmm does the LPD have a bomb squad? Regardless, I need Mes to die in the explosion. Somehow...please God.

GOOD episode...FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

Okie dokie...off to eat lunch and then watch OLTL from Thursday!

xxoo,

Mija