Thursday, September 8, 2011

Bunches of Piglets Flying By My Window

Erin: "I know I miss me. I had to come back and give Christian an exit that had a little dignity."

Oh sweet lord...this will be the fastest typing I have ever done! Ross is like "Muffy, you have until 7:30 to blog then the Saints game comes on." Woof. So, I will literally make like 5 or so random observations about yesterday and then I'll blog as much as I can about today. Ok let's go...

Wednesday, September 7th--Marty STILL Feels Like Hell. Damn Jell-O Shots.

1. Let's all just thank God that Natty is on the Victor Manning case. Another thing--Natty is one person and her boobs are another. They have their own life...seriously. And...Natty's shirt is too tight. Don't get me wrong...she looks fabulous as always but it is a tad snug.
2. The Christian and Jess thing is so flippin' random and I feel insulted this was thrown together so quickly and shoved in our face. I mean...Christian has flippin' zero purpose on this show and it is embarrassing. Is anyone interested in his storyline at all? Seriously...I'd like to know.
3. Tea and RH rocked the house! Word! Ummm a Spring Fling reference?! AHHHH. Can't fabulous.
4. I would like for John to whisper me a lullaby before I go to sleep tonight...preferably while drinking Jim Daniels. If I can't get that, then I need Sam to come play with me this weekend. We can go get gelato. Word. Oh and the Blair and Sam stuff...presh.
5. After yesterday's episode I said to myself "God, why can't the show be awesome like it used to be. I cool would it be if Ford daydreamed of Tess at the Buenos Dias?!" Now THAT is soap opera, people! Who's with me?! UGH!!!!!! I want to effing claw my eyes out!!!!!

This episode was so damn boring!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 8th--Marty is Smiling Since She Knows Brody Will Join Her in Crazytown Soon...

Quickly...speaking of Marty. Y'all read this shiz (it's super short). It's what her real life guy Thorston Kaye said about the two Todd's story and Marty's exit. Pretty awesome:

I WILL BE DAMNED!!!!! Seriously...NuCarlotta??? I mean...a little piggy just flew outside my window. I'm PEEING on myself! So Christian is just going to Spain just like that? Random! Almost as random as him going to see Jess...

Ok so Victor's secretary looks like someone I know. Or, she just looks like any other sorority girl I know. Hmmm...

Dammit to hell!!!! First Jess with boring ass Christian and NOW with Ford for the whole episode?! I cannot catch a break! Aaaaand, the back door to Llanfair is still wide ass open! I mean...REALLY?! REALLY?! I will say that Bree Williamson has a lovely head of hair...lord today.

I mean...y'all Carlotta and Christian are dominating the damn episode! Whoa...and an Antonio reference?! Another pig just passed. Awe...and an Angel Square reference.

And Starr and Blair didn't shut the door. They are just sitting on the stairs with the door open. Aaaaaaaand enter Baz and Tomas...balls.

I just have to say it is egregious we haven't had an RH/Nora scene. Jesus Christ...

Yup Natty...Brody is dripping in Marty Sauce. Back away...

I am loving the McBain, RH, and Tea scenes...fabu.

I mean...Natty's boobs. I just keep staring at them! Oh ok cool...homegirl's name is Tracy.

So just like that...Christian is going to Spain? Lord...and Rama just surfaced 15 minutes in...

FORD AND TESS ARE BORING AS HELL. FACT: Reading the World Book Encyclopedia is leaps and bounds more interesting. This is so true. Seriously.

Tomas is sitting with his legs wide ass open! Y'all I don't think he could spread them any further! Good grief.

Oh and it is September 8th...NEED Blair out of those white tights! I mean...they are such a damn eyesore. Katie, you're right...cardinal sin. I was okay with Tuesday but it's gone too far.

I mean....I lurve the RH and McBain relationship. I really do. Sorry...I did laugh when RH said he'd give Tea 5 million dollars. Couldn't help it...

Natty...RUN! Run as far away as you can from Brody!!!

I LOVE looking at the filler actors at the Buenos Dias.

TIMES...Where the eff is Erin Torpey?! Ugh.

Peeing..."It's just me but...I think you might wanna get a different lawyer." McBain needs to come over to Chicago and just be my friend. This could work.

These Baz and Starr scenes are just riveting!!!!!!!! RIVETING!!!! WOOOOOOF

I mean...I'm about to take a flying leap from the couch onto our glass coffee table. UGH. Ross can then take a picture of my body and send it to OLTL and say "THIS is what happens when you show Ford and Jess two days in a row." Yucky. is this it? I mean Tea and Blair are telling Christian good-bye. So...ET has to surface this episode. Is tomorrow his last day? How do I not know this???

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A producer lurves Baz and Starr's demo tape?! F*@k a duck. I can't win. I seriously can't.

Would anyone be interested in watching McBain do a flying trapeze act? I would. I think he would do fabulously. Just a random thought...

That's right upset about Christian. One less penis you can chase after in Llanview. I bet you are upset.

Oh good God...a Langston reference. Barf. I had mentally blocked her out. Thanks Ford.

Awe...I must say I do like some Blair and Tea adorableness.

Word...I will say I am totally down with Starr believing RH. He needed to hear it and I'm all about it. Good deal.

PEEING! McBain: "What? You can't get enough of me? You still hangin' around?" He.Is.So.Fabulous. Aaaaand he continues to be more fabulous by asking Baz why he should check out Tomas' alibi.

OMG...I effing love this Tea and Blair lovin'! Poor Tea...seriously. I mean I really adore her. I do. She is fabulous. And good on Blair for being there for her.

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP...Erin Torpey! Lord have mercy...and her name is Erin on the show. I mean...I ADORED her as Jessica. God bless. I need to see her fabulous ass tomorrow...k, thanks.

I mean...Christian and Carlotta were on A LOT this episode. CRAY CRAY! Not that I care...but crazy nonetheless.

Ok so I have 4 minutes to spare! Ah...cut it close. Y'all have a LOVELY evening and I can respond to comments tomorrow.

Ciao bellas!



  1. Ok, in reference to Weds I feel that poor little Sam had the weight of the whole damn show on his back. He was the only entertainment. Oh, and true that on Natalie and her boobies. At least she isn't wearing those horribly unflattering DVF wrap dresses from when she worked at BE. Don't get me wrong, I love DVF but when your jugs are that big...NO!

  2. Mija my dear - we are perfectly in sync on all of this. Well, except that I don't think of Blair as being nearly as slutty as you do. Although I will grant you that compared to Todd, she is the Whore of Babylon, but Todd NEVER seems to get any. Once or twice with Tea on the island and the rest of his sex life has been exclusively with Blair. I mean, since he gave up gang raping college girls and what not.

    I was PISSED when Natty YET AGAIN lied to John. She is now just horrible to me. Boobilicious as hell, but horrible. She does not deserve his throaty dark fabulousness. KELLY WHERE ARE YOU??

    Enjoyed Starr giving her dad some much-needed love and loyalty, but am dreading the moment when awful Jack comes downstairs to start his stilted, awkward and obnoxious delivery of hateful and spiteful moronic proclamations of blame. I will probably be forced to listen to it anyway . . . sigh . . .

    Erin is ADORABLE as ever - but only on for one measly minute???? Ugh. More please.

    Snorted wine straight up into my nasal cavities (OUCH!!!) on Ross sending a pic to OLTL of your body sprawled across a broken coffee table. Hilarious! Good idea too - we all should do this - whatever it takes to tone down the static of lameness OLTL seems to insist on boring and annoying us with in between way too short spurts of utter fabulousness.

    Young B

  3. what a boring mess i FFed the whole time UNLESS the scene had Todd or John in it--except at the end with Erin T.

    If Ford and Jess are end game just have her pack a bag now and get on the plane to Florida, Leave Bree with natalie or vikki and go away. I gag when Jess makes those coy little faces at Ford I AM GAGGING WHILE FFing, that can't be healthy--I am shuddering as I type No couple has disgusted me more

    I was thinking the same thing about nat's shirt it was way too tight--and shouldn't Tracy be signing a statement--LOL.

  4. Thanks for the blog this week! Keeps me up to date so I don't have to ff the whole hour. Blog is more entertaining than the show. Word!