Bunches of Piglets Flying By My Window

Erin: "I know I know...you miss me. I had to come back and give Christian an exit that had a little dignity."

Oh sweet lord...this will be the fastest typing I have ever done! Ross is like "Muffy, you have until 7:30 to blog then the Saints game comes on." Woof. So, I will literally make like 5 or so random observations about yesterday and then I'll blog as much as I can about today. Ok let's go...

Wednesday, September 7th--Marty STILL Feels Like Hell. Damn Jell-O Shots.

1. Let's all just thank God that Natty is on the Victor Manning case. Another thing--Natty is one person and her boobs are another. They have their own life...seriously. And...Natty's shirt is too tight. Don't get me wrong...she looks fabulous as always but it is a tad snug.

2. The Christian and Jess thing is so flippin' random and I feel insulted this was thrown together so quickly and shoved in our face. I mean...Christian has flippin' zero purpose on this show and it is embarrassing. Is anyone interested in his storyline at all? Seriously...I'd like to know.

3. Tea and RH rocked the house! Word! Ummm a Spring Fling reference?! AHHHH. Can't deal...so fabulous.

4. I would like for John to whisper me a lullaby before I go to sleep tonight...preferably while drinking Jim Daniels. If I can't get that, then I need Sam to come play with me this weekend. We can go get gelato. Word. Oh and the Blair and Sam stuff...presh.

5. After yesterday's episode I said to myself "God, why can't the show be awesome like it used to be. I mean...how cool would it be if Ford daydreamed of Tess at the Buenos Dias?!" Now THAT is soap opera, people! Who's with me?! UGH!!!!!! I want to effing claw my eyes out!!!!!

This episode was so damn boring!!!!!!!

Thursday, September 8th--Marty is Smiling Since She Knows Brody Will Join Her in Crazytown Soon...

Quickly...speaking of Marty. Y'all read this shiz (it's super short). It's what her real life guy Thorston Kaye said about the two Todd's story and Marty's exit. Pretty awesome:

http://michaelfairmansoaps.com/news/amcs-thorsten-kaye-knocks-the-two-todds-story-martys-exit-on-oltl/2011/09/08/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

I WILL BE DAMNED!!!!! Seriously...NuCarlotta??? I mean...a little piggy just flew outside my window. I'm PEEING on myself! So Christian is just going to Spain just like that? Random! Almost as random as him going to see Jess...

Ok so Victor's secretary looks like someone I know. Or, she just looks like any other sorority girl I know. Hmmm...

Dammit to hell!!!! First Jess with boring ass Christian and NOW with Ford for the whole episode?! I cannot catch a break! Aaaaand, the back door to Llanfair is still wide ass open! I mean...REALLY?! REALLY?! I will say that Bree Williamson has a lovely head of hair...lord today.

I mean...y'all Carlotta and Christian are dominating the damn episode! Whoa...and an Antonio reference?! Another pig just passed. Awe...and an Angel Square reference.

And Starr and Blair didn't shut the door. They are just sitting on the stairs with the door open. Aaaaaaaand enter Baz and Tomas...balls.

I just have to say it is egregious we haven't had an RH/Nora scene. Jesus Christ...

Yup Natty...Brody is dripping in Marty Sauce. Back away...

I am loving the McBain, RH, and Tea scenes...fabu.

I mean...Natty's boobs. I just keep staring at them! Oh ok cool...homegirl's name is Tracy.

So just like that...Christian is going to Spain? Lord...and Rama just surfaced 15 minutes in...

FORD AND TESS ARE BORING AS HELL. FACT: Reading the World Book Encyclopedia is leaps and bounds more interesting. This is so true. Seriously.

Tomas is sitting with his legs wide ass open! Y'all I don't think he could spread them any further! Good grief.

Oh and it is September 8th...NEED Blair out of those white tights! I mean...they are such a damn eyesore. Katie, you're right...cardinal sin. I was okay with Tuesday but it's gone too far.

I mean....I lurve the RH and McBain relationship. I really do. Sorry...I did laugh when RH said he'd give Tea 5 million dollars. Couldn't help it...

Natty...RUN! Run as far away as you can from Brody!!!

I LOVE looking at the filler actors at the Buenos Dias.

TIMES...Where the eff is Erin Torpey?! Ugh.

Peeing..."It's just me but...I think you might wanna get a different lawyer." Ok....so McBain needs to come over to Chicago and just be my friend. This could work.

These Baz and Starr scenes are just riveting!!!!!!!! RIVETING!!!! WOOOOOOF

I mean...I'm about to take a flying leap from the couch onto our glass coffee table. UGH. Ross can then take a picture of my body and send it to OLTL and say "THIS is what happens when you show Ford and Jess two days in a row." Yucky.

Wait...so is this it? I mean Tea and Blair are telling Christian good-bye. So...ET has to surface this episode. Is tomorrow his last day? How do I not know this???

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A producer lurves Baz and Starr's demo tape?! F*@k a duck. I can't win. I seriously can't.

Would anyone be interested in watching McBain do a flying trapeze act? I would. I think he would do fabulously. Just a random thought...

That's right Blair...be upset about Christian. One less penis you can chase after in Llanview. I bet you are upset.

Oh good God...a Langston reference. Barf. I had mentally blocked her out. Thanks Ford.

Awe...I must say I do like some Blair and Tea adorableness.

Word...I will say I am totally down with Starr believing RH. He needed to hear it and I'm all about it. Good deal.

PEEING! McBain: "What? You can't get enough of me? You still hangin' around?" He.Is.So.Fabulous. Aaaaand he continues to be more fabulous by asking Baz why he should check out Tomas' alibi.

OMG...I effing love this Tea and Blair lovin'! Poor Tea...seriously. I mean I really adore her. I do. She is fabulous. And good on Blair for being there for her.

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP...Erin Torpey! Lord have mercy...and her name is Erin on the show. I mean...I ADORED her as Jessica. God bless. I need to see her fabulous ass tomorrow...k, thanks.

I mean...Christian and Carlotta were on A LOT this episode. CRAY CRAY! Not that I care...but crazy nonetheless.

Ok so I have 4 minutes to spare! Ah...cut it close. Y'all have a LOVELY evening and I can respond to comments tomorrow.

Ciao bellas!

xoxoxoxo,

Mija