I Mean...The Reason Why OLTL Can't Be THIS Good Everyday Is????? Exactly...

Natty: "Yes, I'll go home and have sex with you cowboy. I'm trashy like that. Or so my sister, Jessica thinks so. Might as well prove her right."

Well Happy Thursday and for some of you Happy Rosh HaShanah! I am still on the mend and have now scheduled an orthopedic appointment and might just go on and bite the bullet and go to the emergency room...woof woof woof. I'll stop because I know y'all don't give a shit and I don't want to be THAT person discussing injuries...no one likes a person like that! Anyway, I heard the show was great yesterday! I'm excited! So let's not wait any longer shall we?

Wednesday, September 28th--Marty Is Now In Custody For Pushing Me Down The Stairs. Out Of Guilt, McBain Is Filling In For Her Today. Whoop Whoop!

Wait...it go dark THAT quickly?! Jess was JUST doing double dutch and the sun was out! Damn...it went from light to dark quicker than Rex's flights to and from Anchorage, KY!

AHHHH!!!! Clint! Hey gorgeous, what's happening? I'm injured so come visit me. Peeing...remind Clint to fire the nurse. I love it. Ooooh I must say that Brody does look rather dapper.

I mean...so the guy read the will in daylight and now he is reading the same paragraph and it is nighttime. Got it. IRENE IS FAAAABULOUS!!!!! That's all.

So Starr is gonna bust Todd outta jail? Hell, she knows enough about invisible ink and CIA agents from long ago so why not be able to bust your dad out of jail?

I think I peed when Jess said Brody had to buy two rings this year because I was hoping she would say one for Natty and the other for her boobs! No.Such.Luck. (I just said that in my best Nora Buchanan voice). Oh well. My quote would have been better!

Y'all how presh is Clint! Can't deal. Aaaand why are the doors to Llanfair not open? I now feel odd if the doors aren't wide ass open for any and all to enter and stay the night.

And I don't really care about this Natty and Jess argument. Jess is right that Brody is Natty's consolation prize. On the other hand, I agree that Natty didn't steal Brody. Natty can't help that Jessica is batshit crazy. I mean...the bitch was just double dutching and her kids are at home. Oh, and she just flirted it up with a hot dog.

I thought Irene asked "There are puppies?" No, she asked "There are copies?" I'm losing it. This will reading...what a crock. Don't get me wrong I'm enjoying it but this shit is NOT legit. LOL.

Ugh...is Louie going to be the one that dies next week or something? Boo. On another note, I have a feeling I am going to like Starr during this whole break Todd out of jail thing. I need the badass child she used to be to surface like right flippin' now. That would awesome sauce.

I love that Blair called Irene a bitch and Irene's response was "You'll be sorry you called me that." I like it.

I missed the memo about Starr being a genius. On another note, that "Rain Water" Starr is drinking looks contaminated.

I love that Tea does criminal law, civil law, and knows about wills. I mean...in the real world it doesn't work that way. Hardly NO ONE knows about wills! Seriously.

Ventricular fibrulation? Realy Starr? I don't believe this...

NuJack's shirt matches the damn moo cow/vomit ottomon. Very fitting. I love that Irene now wants to kick everyone out. Word.

RH looks nice with water thrown on him. Peeing...heart attacks are for old guys like Clint Buchanan! Watch it RH! Don't talk about the fox.

Jess just mispronouced "accomplished." I don't blame you, Natty. I wouldn't want to be Jess' doormat either. This argument will no doubt dominate the show today. Woof Woof. Oh snap...I do love that Jess called Natalie "trailer trash." Very nice. YES! Now Jess called Natty "trashy" and then "trash." Do I like Jess? Nah...not really. She ain't my fav. But I do like all this trash coming out of her mouth.

Now Clint I love you but don't tell Brody he didn't want to love a child that wasn't his blood. I mean...let's be real.

SNAP! Natty pulled the Mitch Lawrence card! Word...I do like that. This argument is pretty decent the more I see of it. I want it to end this episode though...

Ooooooh RH is about to escape!!!!

I can't shut up about Tea and Vicki's dresses....now I like Tina's too. AWE HELL...REALLY?! Irene wants to keep NuJack. Perfect. Lemme tell ya the little bastard is sooo worth it. Ugh. Wow Blair...nice slap. Felicia Evans' slap was more powerful but I'll take this one.

I LOVE IT! Starr just jacked the gun! UGH...why can't she be like this all the time?! Dammit to hell!

Vicki's reactions to Tina are so fabulous. haha...Tea's reactions, too! I'm wetting my pants...Tina doesn't understand why BOTH of her brothers married Blair! ha! One word: BOOBS. LE DUH!!!! Hell, I'd marry Blair. Those boobs are fabulous.

I love all these "trash" references during this Buch twin fight.

I mean...I need Clint to be on more this episode.

Starr is being a badass! "Take their radios and gag them." I mean...mah-velous! These cops are ass clowns...p.s. I mean...my weenie dog could take down these fools.

Blair has some good jokes today! I loved her sass when she said "Tina, you're riiiiich." Nice! I need Blair like this all the time, too! Mother and Daughter intervention!

Hell will freeze over first...loves it Vicki. Loves it. And loves you.

That ottomon MUST go!!!! I love that Tina wants the ring appraised! OH HELL NO!!!!! Eff Mestiny calling Dan-YELLA! I don't even need that bitch on the phone with Dan-YELLA off camera...not to mention on an episode. Again, Dan-YELLA and Tea are just so damn believable as mother and daughter.

RH and Starr...reunited and it finally feels so good. I did miss THIS RH and Starr combo. Love it!

Le sigh...a Jared mention. Cute thing. I mean....Natty has a point with all this foolishness. Jess is just a mess that causes trouble. Word.

Clint is a badass...even poor! I mean...watching him he seems even better post heart transplant! How is that even possible?!

SNAP!!!!! The twins are going at it! Jess can hit AND double dutch! Holy shit! Too bad there isn't a giant mud pool they can wrestle in...

What the hell? Who is this dude talking to Irene? Guess just one of her minions.

I love it. Tina can't believe she only got that ring. Paging Cord...he surfaces on Thursday's episode! Come save Tina, Cord! Only you can!

This fight is so over the top. To be honest, I'd prefer watching Marty and Natalie go at it and someone fly off a roof. Oh.Hells.Yes.

I love that Tea is just pecking away on the computer while Vicki and Tina go at it. Awe...where IS little David Vickers?! I wanted to see him this episode! I bet he went to find Morris...

I wonder if Irene is sleeping with her little minion. I felt something sexual in that last scene when she was talking to him.

Snap! Is Clint talking to Cord?! Surely!

Now Brody why did you have to break up the fight? Le barf.

Yes! Todd WILL save the day, bitches! He will. AH!!!! A bomb?! I lurve it. Hmmm does the LPD have a bomb squad? Regardless, I need Mes to die in the explosion. Somehow...please God.

GOOD episode...FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

Okie dokie...off to eat lunch and then watch OLTL from Thursday!

xxoo,

Mija

Little David Vickers+Morris=The Next Supercouple

Tina: "Awe, I know you want to meet Morris. I will schedule a lunch date for the two of you as soon as I see what your Uncle Todd...err Victor...left me."

Morning all! UGH...I had the best intentions to blog yesterday morning or last night but I couldn't. I fell down the stairs Monday night (or did Marty Saybrooke push me? Hmmmm? Anyway...y'all can laugh! I won't get mad. It was typical ME fashion...my grand tumble, that is.) and my lower back pretty much got demolished by the edges of the lower two steps. UGH! I'm icing my back as we speak and praying I didn't rupture or pull anything. Huge woof! Enough bitching...ok, so Monday and Tuesday were good. Hell, at least compared to the rest of the mess we have been watching. Anyway, I am just doing drive-bys since I'm behind. But I don't have to work Thursday and Friday so I'll be caught up for the rest of the week yay! Sorry but my injury got in the way. =(

Tuesday, September 26th--Marty Saybrooke Confesses To Pushing ME Downstairs...Begs To Continue Blogging. Jury Is Still Out On Her Privileges.

1. I damn near passed out! Who is this the woman with the blonde bob answering the door at Llanfair?! Sweet lord...Victoria?! Looking regal as ever! Bless my eyes...a scene with Irene?! Lawd. I mean...no words for these scenes. I've said it 30 times and I'll say it again...I lurve Irene's evil ass! Ah! Something about her...captivating! On another note: Where is Irene staying???Minuteman? All this Tina talk! Lord have mercy! Ah!

2. I've all but lost 100% interest in the McBundle paternity storyline. However, I am interested to see how the info gets from Tea's bed to Natty or whomever else gets their hands on that piece of paper. In all honestly, I think Natty should have figured this shit out already. I mean...LE DUH! But that is just me. I guess even the top CSU's can't think clearly in their own situtation. Woof.

3. If y'all don't mind I'm gonna take a quick nap during the John and Natty scenes. If I'm lucky I'll have a dream of John...being witty, funny, whispering, wearing black, just being a cool guy...without Natty. Maybe I'l dream of Natty being strong-willed, smart, sassy...without John. Dammit to hell...I can't win in this department so I quit.

4. Todd: "You think I can have a moment alone with my hot ex-wife lawyer." Ummm YES! Faaaabulous quote. Also, these Todd and Tea scenes are faaaaabulous. Snap...so someone gave Todd a light blue shirt now? Starched perfectly, too. Impressive. I need to go to jail to dress well, right? Anyway, sooooo flippin' happy Tea is going to represent Todd!

5. I know they added RH, Cutter, etc. to the opening but I NEED the older characters to have updated pictures please! Some of these people (most) don't even look the same!

6. Notice I haven't mentioned NuJack. Yeah, that is because I don't give a shit. Oh and word to the writers--I don't care what you do I'll never like NuJack. Trying to redeem him no is completely and utterly useless. The only way to redeem him? Bring back Carmen LePorto. NOW!!!! Ok thanks! Kisses, ME

7. Soooo Bo was on until 6 minutes into the show and then not again until the end? Sweet lord I.Cannot.Catch.A.Break. Good grief! At least let me have this adorable man on the whole time! Don't tease me with snippets!

8. I haven't mentioned Dan-YELLA and Tomas either. Consider this it. Sorry. He's still sexy Ok that's it.

9. Victoria and Tea have the same color scheme going on...lurve both dresses on them! Good winter dresses. Oh, and we have a newbie to do the will and testament. Let's see how he is...

10. Today was decent. If anything I was so pleased to see Victoria and the Todd and Tea scenes were good. I'm STILL waiting for the show to pick up though. Tina tomorrow! Tina tomorrow! Tina tomorrow!!!!!!!

Tuesday, September 27th--Marty Keeps Denying She Pushed Me...Blames Everyone Else. I Just Found A Wallet Picture Of McBain On My Floor...Must Be Marty.

1. Am I supposed to think this weiner foolishness is funny? I need someone to roast him over a fire. However, I'd gladly prefer Mes being roasted...thanks.

2. I'm kinda tired of Gigi surfacing everywhere. This needs to end. Le woof. Le barf.

3. Put that gun down Irene! I mean...I don't even like that thing being pointed at Vicki! Woof!

4. Ok...I will officially get thrown to the wolves for this comment. Before I say it I need to say that I am not invested in Ford or care about him. Lord knows I feel the same way about Jess. HOWEVS, I like Jess paired with Ford than anybody else cause she is so damn boring and they seem a little better. That being said, I don't want to see them 24/7.

5. Peeing! Blair: "Oh, you're a banker. A Swiss bank where they hide things!" LOL...where they hide things. That is a very pre-k way to put it Blair...to the point!

6. RH: "It's your grandmother." Starr: "Addie?" RH: "No, the crazy one. Well the other crazy one." hahahaha.

7. Wait whaaaaa? Who took Todd's note? Did I miss something?

8. Ugh I want Tea's dress to wear with tights to work...hell, or Vicki's. Pair them with some boots!

9. Who in the hell orders a salad from Rodi's? It looks like garbage. I bet rabbits wouldn't eat that shit.

10. UGH!!!! No!!!!! The ottomon returned! The one that looks like a cow or that someone puked on it. I mean...who keeps moving it?! Peeing..."I think my brain is exploding." I don't blame you. AHHHH!!!!!!! Little David Vickers!!!!!!!!!!! TINA! Wow...they have Andrea Evans' hair done to look like she really is Irene's daughter...nice. I mean...Little David Vickers and Morris would ROCK IT OUT as a supercouple! Hell, they would be more interesting than some folks nowadays. Think about it!

11. BEST QUOTE! Blair: "Well maybe you should have stopped for a little potty break for the dog. He used me as a fire hydrant." Tina: "Oh really Blair? Come on. David Vickers didn't do anything to you that half the men in this town haven't done already." WELCOME BACK, TINA! And, let's be serious...it's true. I mean...LE DUH! Blair has been used by a shit-ton of men. Aaaaaand Tina just passed out. She is soooo over the top and dramatic and I lurve it. Who can blame her. Tina reminds me of Dorothy from the "Wizard of Oz" holding that dog and looking bewildered...

12. I mean...Starr ain't that smart to be like "Hey, spies started using invisible ink in WWI. That is exactly what this is." Bitch please! You are NOT Nancy Drew and you sure as hell ain't Angela Lansbury! Word...

13. I must say I kinda like RH and Shorty teaming up.

14. Oh how I have missed Tina. "Aaaand you are the head of some secret CIA group that's based in some secret base in the bayou?" LOL. I love that Vicki wants to postpone the will cause not everyone is there and Tina has suffered a terrible shock. Oh, lurve the Blair and Tina banter, p.s. Bitchiness at its best.

15. OMG so is Jessica pretending she is in high school again?! This bitch is jumping double dutch?? WHERE ARE HER KIDS?! Take them out! I'm sure poor Lois is taking care of those kids. Hell, probably Clint, too! The recovering heart patient...le sigh.

16. Yeppers...totally over Gigi surfacing randomly throughout the show.

17. The jump roping was so random. I mean really. Hell, prepare for Buch Twins round 5,000.

18. LOL...Tina making sure there is an article 2. Aaaaand, Mommy Dearest gets all the loot. Very nice. This ought to be interesting. She is sooo evil and I can't get enough! That smile at the end was fabulous!

Oookay I have gots to go! Hoping today is great! I'm off for the rest of the week so I'll be able to keep up! I'm sure I'll have to blog with a glass of wine since my back is killing me. Ugh!

Have a faaaaaabulous day! And, if you are in the Chicago area...aren't y'all tired of this rain?! I keep thinking I live in London this week!

xxoo,

Mija

Dream A Little Dream

CB: "What do you mean Brody only got Natalie one engagement ring? That cheap bastard."

Mornin' y'all! Hope the weekend was as lovely as ever for all of you! Mine was actually quite fabulous but now I think I'm on the verge of getting sick...ugh. Been feeling this coming on for a week now. Anywho...Friday's show was finally "decent" compared to the others so at least that is exciting. Maybe I'll be a little less harsh this week since I have just a three day work week thus I'm in a good mood. ;) Oh, and I'm running behind this morning (typical Monday) so I'm just commenting whenevs.

Friday, September 23rd--Marty Is Too Upset About AMC Ending To Blog. Everyone Else Is Upset, Too, So No One Is Writing This Blog. So How There Appears To Be Type, I Don't Know.

Lawd have mercy....these damn dreams/nightmares. LOL.

John's dream--only thing I got from it was that John has GOT to have a crick in his neck.

Natty's dream--I mean as if I have any clue what her dream was about since I was staring at her boobs the whole time. They have gotten bigger...fact. So, I don't know what she dreamed abut...

Jess' dream--boring as hell except when Clint surfaced looking as dapper as ever. Her dream may be the best based on that alone...

Tea's dream--Ah...KNEW it was RH. Tea's bed looks comfy...that's all.

Todd's dream--epic fail because it involved NuJack. This one never had a chance in my eyes...NuJack tainted it! WOOF!

NuJack's dream--another fail since I had to be subjected to the dead raccoon that lives on Gigi's head.

Wow that pitcher of water stayed cold all night with all that ice? Hooray!!!!! Enter Bo Buchanan...that little wonderful, adorable fabulous man. This makes me happy.

Blair's trench is uber fabulous.

LOL...Todd made a crack that Oprah could set him free? WTF.

I don't care what Clint is doing out of the wheelchair Jessica but let the silver fox be! I love is button down shirt...nice. PEEING!!!! Lois has a stopwatch?! I'd lurve to see Lois time Clint doing sprints around the grounds of Llanfair. What?! Are my eyes playing tricks on me? Are the living room doors to Llanfair shut? Closed? Locked? Nah...not locked. I went too far. But, I'm shocked as hell they were closed.

Ah! The infamous black Logan's bag. I haven't heard a Logan's reference in a while. Gosh, remember when they used to actually show that damn store? Woof.

I lurve that everyone has French Press coffeepots in Llanview. NEVER MIND!!!!! Dammit...the doors in the living room ARE open! Lawd...are they EVER closed?! Jesus! And why am I so upset?! When Clint said "Awe hell" in response to Jess divulging about Brody and Natalie...kinda peed.

Bo is such a good friend. =) I'd like Nora to surfaced please. Please! Too bad she ain't on again...all week. Ugh.

Well, I'm a big frigid bitch cause I don't like the ring, Brody. Sorry. Plus...hello?! Where is ring #2? Natty's boobs need some bling, too! AS IF you wouldn't get the girls a ring?! AS IF!

Who in the HELL are these two douchebags talking to NuJack?! I mean...really?

So Irene has a new shirt on? Hmmm. Peeing...Todd just called where he has been for 8 years a day spa.

Oh Blair...delusional delusional delusional Blair. Please start being a better parent with NuJack. You look like a nit wit.

Ummmm where in the hell is Queen Victoria?! Everyone is running a muck in her house. Jesus...show her once please. K, thanks. Clint is being a bastard to Brody and I kinda lurve it.

Have y'all ever REALLY looked at McBain's hair? I mean...women should be envious of that mane! In other news: Bo remains adorable trying to help John. Ok...

"Lovett, we're done here." Ah...he is so fabulous.

I mean Natty...back out of this engagement, girlfriend. Brody if off his rocker...

I'd like to know who is doing Irene's hair and make-up in jail.

This Blair and Tea frinemy/friendship/whatever the hell you want to call it is quite maaaaaah-velous. I lurve them.

I have GOT to hurry! Running late!

Aaaand Brody, Natty, and her boobs will have sex. Good grief.

John...please go shower. I can smell you through the tv.

Come on, Tea! Take his case, dammit! Also, I can't help but laugh my ass off every time Todd says he will offer Tea $5 million bucks.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I NEED Liam to be my friend! That's it! I can't take this adorableness...so presh! Those pj's! So cute!

Finally...Bo is having another scene with RH. Too bad it's a hot minute. Who in the hell is this clown escorting Irene out?! I mean I do NOT believe for a second they work for the Feds. I mean as if...

Ugh...all the vets propped other characters today. Clint propping Jess...Bo propping John. Where is Vicki? Where is Nora? Where is Dorian even (I can dream)?!

Just when I think I can't love CB anymore...he has to go and make blueberry pancakes to cheer up Jessica. Oh.Em.Gee.

Wait just a damn minute...what happened to the "Chick Magnet" binky/pacifier???? WTF.

Oh woof...this is prob the beginning of John and Natty reuniting. I mean...no words.

WORD!!!! Tea is gonna represent Todd. My day is made.

LAWD...."bull dogs" isn't spelled correctly in the flyer. Also, I mean...KDP can't even make NuJack a believable actor. Goodness gracious.

Ugh...I do NOT...I repeat...do NOT need Llanview to have ANOTHER child killer!!!! Cole, Matthew (if that's true), and now Shane? Just no.

K, I have to run like right now!

Love y'all and mean it!

Rushed Mija

Everyone Is In The Kool-Aid

Dan-YELLA: "Awe, I'm flattered you think that I am pretty much the only person making sense in this town right now. Morris keeps me sane. He gives me advice at night to help get me through this Todd situation. I don't know what I'd do without Morris."

Ah! Friday is FINALLY here! I'm so glad cause I have a short week next week...woo hoo! Anyway, I don't know how long my post will be. I don't know what happened on the show but I heard all 3 Ford brothers are in the sauna together and well...let's be serious...that will no doubt make the show suck. Ok let's do this...

Thursday, September 22nd--Marty Is Back In Control And Won't Let Hope Substitute For Her Anymore. Plus, Hope Said To Hell With It...Show Is Terrible Right Now.

OH.EM.GEE. Y'all are they FOR REAL in this first scene?! I mean...are the writers for real?! Sweet Jesus someone please take me out back and beat the shit out of me. I mean...atrosh. Oh, and I could have done without seeing any of the Ford bros but especially NQS. I need him to get locked in the sauna...seriously. There is no other answer...

LOL...really Blair? You were hoping to get to Starr before she heard Todd was arrested? I'm sure you waited like 12 hours to tell her or something. I can't help but laugh at Blair's parenting skills.

Tea defend Todd. Please.

I mean...Brody has more dialogue with McBundle than anyone else on the show. Hilar.

WHY OH WHY is Rodi's playing the music from the Buenos Dias Cafe?! I hate this whiny, high pitched complaining they call music. My ear drums might rupture...

Does anyone wish Dorian's sassy self would just walk into her kitchen and be fierce and fabulous? Le sigh. I want her back! Whannn! I keep thinking she is going to surface during an episode wearing some over the top outfit and red lipstick. I'll continue to hope and dream...

That's right, Roxy. John and Natty are indeed like vodka and orange juice in the sense that you want to just get drunk so you don't have to watch them sober. WOOF! In positive news--I still like John for now and think he is uber cool. Word.

Oh f*@k...well OLTL is just really giving it to me today. Now Jess at Brody's? Dear God I cannot deal. I could be sleeping right now!!!!!

Not commenting on the Ford Brothers scenes unless one of them dies during this episode...

Blair's body is SICK! Lord have mercy...jeal. Times...how is ANYONE in this town believing NuJack?! Also, he just said "My head really killed." What? Exsqueeze me? Come again? I don't follow.

Cha ching...Shaun just got paid for a flashback. Good for him.

I want to know who did that hot air balloon picture on the fridge. I'm impressed.

I'd lurve to have beer with John McBain...play some darts...then I'd like to get in a police car and we go tear up shit. How fun would that be?! I'd place Morris on top of the cop car, too. Wow...Roxy just said "holy acromony." Lawd.

LOL..."You wore them with your dress whites the night of prom." I mean...how stupid is that statement when you really think about it? Jess is talking about prom.

Maybe Morris is at Serenity Springs trying to lock the Ford brothers in the sauna...would explain his absence.

Well, I will say that I do like Starr taking up for Todd. Also, I want to choke Blair for saying she doesn't think NuJack is lying. I mean REALLY, Blair?! REALLY?

Sweet lord...I think Dan-YELLA is the only one with any sense right now out of this whole bunch. She is the only one thinking clearly. Hell, I'll even say that with this Todd situation Starr has sense, too. Ummm with the Baz situation...not so much. Oh, and Dan-YELLA for loving NQS. There...

LOL...lawd Jess can't catch a break lately and I lurve it. I'm so mean...

PEEING! Seriously I just wet my pants when John said "Hey look! Dolly Parton!" hahahaha! OMG OMG OMG...John "I love to wear black and whisper and solve crimes" McBain just made a Gary Cooper reference! As if I couldn't love this man more right now. UGH...take it back. He still loves Natalie so I'm a bit miffed.

Oh I like Jessica's coat! Should have said that already...

Don't worry Natty...John still loves you. Le woof.

Jesus...Blair is drinking more Kool-Aid than usual. I mean...only Starr is making sense in this house right now. Blair: "Who says I believe it?" Dude...you JUST said that you didn't think Jack was lying in the last segment! Make up your mind...

I'm sorry but I can't help but laugh when Blair said she is a bad mother. I just...now words. So y'all are scared y'all have lost Jack and it is too late for him? It sure his. Poor bastard didn't have a chance since the recast. Woof.

Yeah...I'm bored this episode. Also, everyone in this town is not making sense...except Dan-YELLA and Starr. John still loves Natty, Roxy is all over John about it, Brody is losing his mind and asked Natty to marry him, Blair is letting NuJack be a douche, Tea won't defend Todd...need I go on?

Great...now Ford and Jess. Balls!

God Bless...that little table in the kitchen is so flippin' small! There is NO WAY two people could eat on there.

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! My Friday just went downhill. John just admitted he still loves Natty. Cool flippin' beans. UGH. Actually, I will not let this affect my Friday. I won't. It is what it is and I knew this was coming. Moving on...

Blair...please go to sleep and get some good rest and by some miracle gain a brain during the night. Please.

Again...Tea and Dan-YELLA are so believable as a mother/daughter duo. Seriously. They really are quite fabulous.

Ugh...I mean Jessica is one of the most boring (yet beautiful) characters in all of soap history. Jesus, I want to pass out. UGH. I do love that coat though...AND those earrings!

Natty...don't be dumb. Don't accept.

LOL...John to Roxy: "Well you can back up your guns. We're done here." hahaha! See...all his wit is going to go to hell in a hand basket as soon as he gets back with Natty. Le woof.

UGH. Brody...this is the beginning of the end, little buddy. Natty ain't gonna marry you and you are now on your way to being Marty Saybrooke. Word.

Ok...my make-up artist just arrived and I have to run!

See y'all later!

Love y'all and mean it!

xx,

Mija

Paging Morris

Good God...how sad is it that I am PRAYING for Morris to surface to do damage control for this show?! Please! Someone find him now!

Morning y'all! Hope everyone had a lovely Wednesday. I'm UBER ready for the weekend...been a long week thus far! Anyway, I don't know WHAT in the world happened on the show today so this should be good. I haven't read a thing about spoilers. Oh, and I must be REALLY slow cause I haven't caught onto all this Stacy/Gigi business. I'm confused. Running a bit late this morning so I'm just making random comments....

Wednesday, September 21st--Hope Wants To Take Over Posting For Marty Since She Lurves It So Much. Marty Is Putting Up A Fight...Good Girl.

Wow...so we are still in the same evening. Rex made it back to the mansion super quick and then we cut to Kim JUST now spilling the Rex story to Stacy? I mean...seriously? And Cutter showed up in Anchorage THAT quickly? How? Did he fly? I know I know I won't let this shit go and I know it will never get answered but this mess bothers me.

ha! Did Roxy just speak in Pig Latin?

Well, Irene's hair still manages to look decent for jail.

Ugh I'm so hungry right now so I hate that Tea wasted that food.

Todd's shirt is still crisp, clean, and white. Tomas has some stiff competition!

Oh, and I love the Buch study PS. Oh, and I also LURVE how Gigi's picture seems to change spots every damn day. Now the same picture is on the desk in the study...lol! At least it is off the damn mantle.

Does anyone else look at Ted King and wonder how/why he was signed to PP when he basically has no purpose on the show? Maybe it's just me.

So let's just all officially eliminate Todd as a suspect. I think he had nothing to do with it and we need to focus on the other clowns.

Ugh...I need to prepare myself for John and Natalie getting back together. I've been loving John lately, too. I'm sure that will go to hell in a hand basket soon.

LOL!!!! John's choking reenactment was HILAR!

I hate to say this for the third day in a row but...I'm kinda bored! AH! I'm sorry but I am! Maybe it is just me?

OH HELL NO! Cutter did not just call Clint an old bastard?! Oh no he dit-ent!

Ok so YoSammity and Rac...y'all are probably right. Stacy maybe Gigi? I'm still confused as to how all this is possible...seriously.

Is Echo drinking? Isn't she an alcoholic?

Again...I'm preparing myself for John and Natalie. Good God.

Wait...did that little Philadelphia Eagles helmet move from the cabinet to John's desk? Irene is a f*@king bitch...love it...in a strange way.

I'm so impressed with Todd's white shirt, p.s. Oh, and may I just say that I think Todd and Dan-YELLA have chemistry as a father/daughter duo. Desi, look at Dan-YELLA talking about Ross Rayburn! Maybe the writers have been reading your comments! ;) Dan-YELLA if you want to see Ross just turn on your tv and watch the Cymbalta commercial.

I really want Dan-YELLA to convince Tea to represent Todd cause I think that would make this so much more interesting.

I like the Roxy/Echo dynamic.

WTF? I STILL am not following with who is in that bed! Apparently it is obvious and easy to figure out since all of you know what is going on but I don't get this.

Not that I care, but Cutter and Kim are believable as siblings. But...I don't really care.

Snap...okay good! Echo is in AA. I was wondering if that was booze or not.

If Gigi is really alive I think I will lose my shit. I mean...I don't need any of the Morascos on this show. NONE of them! Stay gone!!!

Rex is back to wearing military jackets again...woof. I liked him in the button down shirts. Short-lived...

I LOVE John McBain. I am scared this will be short-lived since he will be reuniting with Natty but for now I can still love him. I'll always like him but love...not sure if that is forever.

I'd like Tomas to paint me a picture, sing to me and cook me dinner. I mean...why not? That picture is hella sweet.

Y'all...I'm bored. I'm apologizing for this post now. Ugh. I mean how sad is it that I am praying Morris the Porcupine surfaces to save the show today?! Sweet Lord...can't catch a break this week!

Ugh...I just want Todd to go on and make a deal with Irene. I need this shit to start moving. It's in turtle mode right now.

Come on Tea...give in and represent Todd.

UGH...just show me who Stacy is.

I.NEED.THE.BUCHS.BACK.RUNNING.THE.MANSION. I mean...I want all the Buchs there hanging out and coming and going like they used to. Word.

Hmmm those are a lot of post-it notes John has...where did those come from?

Y'all I apologize for another shitty post but I just don't have anything to work with!!!

In positive news: Tina is back on Monday!!! Oh, and she brings little David Vickers the dog!

Please let Thursday be good!

Off to get ready for work...ciao bellas!

xxoo,

Mija

Poor Brody Is Moonlighting At Rodi's

Brody: "I now have to work another job. I forgot I have to get TWO engagement rings--one for Natty and one for her boobs. I don't know how I forgot."

Morning one, morning all! Hope y'all are having a lovely morning (or afternoon depending on what time you read this)! So I'm praying for a better episode...did we get it? I dunno...bout to see. All limbs, extremities, hair, and eyes CROSSED that it is good! Oh, and I'm not commenting on every little thing this morning since I slept a tad late today...woof.

Tuesday, September 20th--Marty Can't Post Since She Is Listening to Baz and Starr's Demo Tape So Hope Is Filling In Today

Let's see if Todd's clean, crisp white button down shirt stays as nice and white and perf as Tomas' did that time when he was in jail. Let the competition begin!

NuJack is totally lying to McBain and continues to be a major douche. No surprise there.

Starr looks pretty. That's probably all I'm gonna say about Starr and James. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As if it is bad enough I have to see those two then Baz gets thrown into the mix?! Wasn't my travel experience on Sunday punishment enough, people?! Jesus. Notice I'm not upset about Rick. I'm sorry but I do think he is funny. I'm embarrassed...

Again, Rex got to Kentucky in a hot minute! Asa's jet must be the last of the French Concordes and for some reason they allow it to be flown in the U.S. I know there are some younger people who read this blog so y'all do know what the French Concordes are (really "were" not "are")? Again, new knowledge will come from this blog if it kills me! Love that OLTL gave the nurse a Kentucky accent...

Natty at this point just say "no" or "I'll think about it." This show is sadly turning Brody into Marty's crazy cousin.

Praise God! Bo Buchanan (hell, I don't even think Nora is on the show anymore) thank you for giving me a little bit of joy this morning. Hell, I'm even thrilled to see McBain, too. They never talk anymore so why not have them do it today? LOL...John just told Bo "I miss ya" which is probably more than heartfelt than anything John told Natty. He is so closed off with women!

Hey Irene...sup?

Stacy's hospital room is nicer than the ones in Llanview.

Ok so Brody's is Rex's old place? Got it.

I wonder if this mayor is gonna cause trouble. I'm kinda intrigued by her. She is by NO MEANS Dorian Lord but I do like Wendy Moniz and think she will do a good job. She was a wicked Dinah on GL!

Hmmm ok so Shane is spying on NuJack. See I think it looks kinda obvious he could have done it, too. I want it to be some random person we didn't expect but someone that DID have a motive but we didn't think about it.

I LURVE that Todd said that Irene made Joan Crawford look like Donna Reed! I used to LOVE watching "The Donna Reed" show as a kiddie, p.s.

NOT commenting on the Baz shit. Rick will no doubt be the only one with any sense in that room.

Brody, face it--Natty ain't into this. She's not. Hell, I don't blame her. I was all about you two but now you are going off the deep end and to be perfectly candid I don't need another crazy person involved with or accidentally hurting Natty. Marty was perf but it is being dragged out. I don't need this again. Again, thanks OLTL. At this rate the ONLY thing in Brody's favor is that his apartment is better than John's hell hole.

I'm so glad they didn't make Bo just go after Todd and assume he is guilty. I feel he would have caught hell for all that given the history...so thank the lord.

IF Shane is indeed Victor's killer, then I just need for him to go on and go for broke and take out NuJack in the cemetery. I mean...why stop now?

Oh and AS EFFING IF Baz and Starr's demo tape is worth a damn! The Buenos Dias wouldn't even play that shit and they play the WORST music on the planet! They only play music where people are singing in this weird moaning noise.

Look at John telling Bo he suspects Rex...go ahead!

Seriously I'm like Todd...how did Irene know about Louie? This bitch is magical! Seriously...she is just too damn tricky! How is this possible?!

Come on Shane...do it for me! Push NuJack's head into a tombstone...something...anything! BEGGING!

Y'all what is going on?! I mean...where are the vets?! Yes, I know Bo is on but I mean overall. The show is kinda "ugh" today. I mean...I'm enjoying Bo and John (but that's just me). That's it.

WORD...good job Natty. When is the last time I said that?! Brody is just so far gone at this point and he hasn't even lost it yet...

I figured Bo would take up for Rex...

This Kentucky accent is totally fake. Hell, I could have been this nurse with a real accent. Would have been more interesting! ;)

Eff this Baz/Starr stuff.

Ugh...I just don't care about what Stacy Morasco being in that bed has to do with anything.

Irene is SUCH a bitch and I LURVE her evil ass!

Word...Bo does know the damage grief can do. I have tried to block out all that Drew dying so Bo goes out on a boat foolishness and Nora loses her right mind. Woof.

Natty's points are all valid about marrying Brody. Hell, I can't blame Brody for loving Natty and not Jess. Oh and has anyone missed Jess? Yeah, me neither...

Was that Baz, Starr, James, and Rick scene really so long that it took up almost all the last segment? Kill me.

We know Rex is flying to Kentucky but how is Kim getting to and from? Driving? Flying? Bus? Amtrack? Hmmm. So Kim FINALLY says "Stacy." I mean this took how long?

Ok so am I the only one bothered that there is no end year on Gigi's tombstone?

NuJack, please explode.

Hmmm so far this episode Todd's shirt is still awesomely white. Watch out, Tomas. Irene is EVIL! LOL...Toy Cop: "John McBain has some questions for you." Irene: "Oh, lovely." I thought that was hilar.

Aaaaand the show wasn't that great. It was okay. Thanks Bo for surfacing.

Okie dokie I have to go get ready for work. I'm going to listen to Starr and Baz's demo tape while I get dressed...can't wait!

Love y'all and mean it! Have a wonderful hump day!

xxoo,

Mija

I Need The Following: For This Show To Pick Up The Pace, Get A New Jack, Show The Vets, & Blow Up Mes. K, Thanks.

Real Jack: "Tea you know I wouldn't lie to you and say dad killed Victor so please get the writers to bring me back. Oh, and I didn't kill Gigi (and would never have done that) but I can't say I miss her...or her hair."

Ah...what it do, Llanview?! Of course, I just asked that in my best Snoop Dogg voice. ;) How the hell are y'all? I had a lovely time back home for my dear friend's wedding! It just took me 13 hours to fly home Sunday..damn weather. Woof! Anyway, I have to once again thank MH for continuing to show why she is fabulous and filling in for me for three whole days. So sweet and she did a stellar job...no shocker there. So thanks and kudos for a job well done. I'll buy you a martito soon...or wine depending on my mood. Cheers. Ok so I kinda (operative word being "kinda") got caught up on last weeks episodes. I don't have time to fully watch all 3 I missed. I'm just jumping right into Monday and I am praying to high heaven the show picks up this week...PRAYING! Alrighty then...

Monday, September 19th--I Brought Marty Back Some Southern Food So She Is Somewhat Happy Tonight.

Who wants to shove a multiple Rodi's burgers down NuJack's throat all at once and then throw him in the Llantano River? Ok that was a bit violent. I'll just settle for throwing him in the Llantano River with weights tied to his ankles.

Tea and Dan-YELLA are still hanging out at THE Saint James (like Bo said in the episode on Friday...ha).

That porcupine is creepy and like MH mentioned...is no doubt stealing the show. Lord help us all.

I want to know if Crystal Hunt gets paid every damn time they show that picture of Stacy and Kim. I could Google this so I guess I'll just hush.

I NEED to know why scenes in the hallway and other areas of the LPD look like I a watching a reality show! The camera is so shaky. So Brody looks relieved about this whole "I saw Todd Manning with the gun at the murder scene foolishness." I dunno if he did it or not. I really don't have a clue right now.

Lawd Rex has on WAAAAAY too much green on. Good God! He looks like turf. I need Kim Zimmer's hair to stay the same color, style, and length. K, thanks.

Man...Kim has on stripper lipstick. Those lips! I bet she gets lots of tips based on those things alone! Interpret as you wish.

Morris is clearly the star of the show and I'm just waiting for him to start spouting off shit to Cutter. I mean...he just needs to say some words and he is no doubt going to be a big star. He has "the look." UGH...woooooof! How effing sad is it that Morris IS the show right now?

Aaaaand Kim just called Vickster "Queen Victoria." I mean....are the writers reading my blog? ;) I kid I kid...

As I sit here watching the Rex and Echo scenes, I was like "Gosh...KZ hasn't been on the show in like 20 years and then surfaces to say that she and Clint created spastic Rex and now she is all up in the show." My mind then wandered to Rex's journey to find his birth parents and then I panicked because I remembered that damn Rick and Lily in New Mexico story and I wanted to slam my head against the wall. AHHH! Get it out of my head!!!!! How terrible was that?! I mean...soooooo insulting and embarassing...the story that is. Anyway...sorry I brought that up. What a nightmare...literally.

Awe that huge portrait of TSJ in THE Saint James makes me miss him...tear.

I'd like to know the name of these two Joe Blow officers attempting to arrest Todd Manning. NuJack STFU!!!!!!!! He didn't bash your head in you dipshit! UGH. I want to beat this kid's ass!

Hey Aubs...sup? Wait...how does her outfit work? She has on a blue dress? But the black thing is over it? Hmmm...dunno how I feel about this get up. PLEASE let me NOT be subjected to Aubs and Cutter doing the wild thing. Please.

Times...I want this porcupine, Morris, to come to life and eat Mestiny (and NQS and NuJack) alive in front of ALL the citizens of Llanview. How effing cool would that be?!

KZ is fab as usual but otherwise these Rex and Echo scenes are rather boring. Well, there just isn't much for me to say about the whole conversation really...

OH.MY.GOD. Y'all if I have to keep hearing about Natty talking about Marty pushing her off of that roof and that damn talkboy recorder and all this other foolishness I'm gonna claw my eyes out and force Ross to send them to the writers of OLTL to let them know they are driving me insane! The ONLY thing I will allow is if they actually show Marty throwing Natty off the roof and then doing that little pump fake move and screaming in that crazy voice. That's it. Oh and I still don't know about Brody's involvement in all this. I am not sure if he pulled the trigger but I do think he is involved somehow.

I just missed the Dan-YELLA and Tea scene.

Lemme tell ya...NuJack is sooooo convincing in these damn cemetery scenes. UGH. I mean...I need old Jack back stat. My life would improve drastically.

Again, I'm confused by Aubs' dress and I need the wardrobe department to explain it to me. One thing I do agree with Aubrey about--the porcupine is creepy. It really is.

Wait...Nina? Did Kim call the gun "Nina?"

These Brody and Natty scenes are all of a hot second...

I.NEED.RH.TO.KILL.NUJACK.NOW. I flippin' cannot deal with this little bastard! AHHHH!!!!!!

Whoa...Dan-YELLA just mentioned Ross Rayburn and said he was great. Desi did you hear that?

On another note--I think RH looks quite fabulous in his suit. ;) He is rather ruggedly handsome.

I hate to say this but...I'm kinda bored this episode, too. I think I'm just tired of looking at the porcupine. Excuse this boring post. I just feel I don't have a lot to work with here...

UGH...they showed McBain's halftime bumper but he isn't on the show today. Hmmm.

Oh and I am tired of Kim just talking to Stacy and, personally, I feel like my convos with my dog are more entertaining.

I mean...Natty didn't even make Tracy the secretary sign a statement so could she use it against Brody right now?

Oh...Tea has been doing a stellar job with all this Todd/Victor stuff. Bravo! Had to say that...

The hedges in this town are entirely too high in this damn town. That's all I have to say. Since I own my own landscaping company...

So is this Natty and Brody's new apartment? What in the world is that white and stained glass thing on the table??? Natty so looked like she did not want to kiss Brody and that she still likes John. WOOF.

Again, explain Aubs' dress to me.

Despite the fact that I think they brought back Kim a little late, I do think she is sassy and I do like her. I can't help it. I also think that she and KZ will have some great scenes together. They are both fierce. I kinda wish Echo would go all cray cray on Kim a la Marty Saybrooke style.

Again, it looks like a reality show when they escorted Todd into the LPD. I don't understand.

LOL...Echo called Roxy a gold digging whore.

Jesus. At least set the porcupine straight up. Don't let the poor thing just lie there almost upside down.

Man...Rex got to Kentucky in a hot second or Echo stayed a long ass time at the BD Cafe! Asa's jet is hella fierce huh? Lord...this show and its timing of scenes. Hilarious.

Oh good grief...so who in the world is spying on NuJack? Irene is still in jail right? God, I wish it were Marty...girl can dream. Le sigh. Whoever is hiding and spying (Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Little Hope Thornhart) please take NuJack out immediately.

Tea you know in your heart RH didn't do it so help his ass...

Natty...if you marry Brody it will be kinda like marrying Marty. So, yes, even though initially I wanted Natty and Brody together I hope she says "no" since Brody is on the crazy train and I don't need Natty getting throw off another roof--accidentally or intentionally. I mean...the damn Marty storyline is still going on so I don't need another one to start. Woof.

Eh...today was just okay. I need some vets, dammit! Where the hell are they?! Please surface!!!!

I'm sorry this post was terrible. I am just not feeling the show lately...

Okie dokie...my hair stylist just arrived so I must run. I'll see y'all later and can respond to comments this afternoon. Seriously...I'm going to do it today!

Love y'all much,

Mija

Two for One Deal and It's Not Even a Holiday

Mayor Finn: I'm not only the mayor but I can also act as District Attorney. I'm kind of a big deal.

TGIF Everyone,

I mean, that acronym was created for days like today. This week has truly been the week from hell, and I more than happy that it is over. On a good note, though, it is slightly cooler in The Woodlands today, thank goodness!! Now, if it would just rain, things would be almost perf!

Sooo, I got like zero sleep last night thanks to the LSU game... we won, by the way... so I hope this post is somewhat coherent. The Starbucks pumpkin spice latte I had did not have nearly enough caffeine to energize my dragging ass today.

Sidenote: I am back on the computer that Blogger hates, so it was either extra spaces or no spaces. WOOF on the effed up format. I will try to edit later if I can. Let's get this party started, shall we. As always, my apologies for any and all typos.

Friday, September 16, 2011: Morris is playing hardball with Marty, and contract negotiations are breaking apart. Morris has hidden all bottles of Hounds Beer. The gin rummy game between Renee and Addie and Bo and Nora is too close to call.

Just because I PEED on myself when I read it, here is the program description that AT&T Uverse has for OLTL: "The powerful Buchanan family clashes with the Cramers, Gannons, Rappaports and Vegas in Llanview." I mean, please discuss amongst yourselves... after you change your Depends.

Gasp, Todd was the lurker in St. James? You lie.

Clint is the most handsome bad ass on this show. Period. Times, Clint to Rex: "Did you just walk into this house?" Peeing. Clint has obviously been in solitary confinement at the Llanfair Correctional Center.

It's official, Morris makes more money than Jerry ver Dorn, Erika Slezak, Bob Woods, and Hillary Smith. Aaaaand, I will just go on ahead and get this out of the way, I am insulted by this porcupine foolishness.

I just did a double take cause I thought I was halucinating in my sleep deprived state. Hi Bo, I am beyond happy to see you. Does this mean that you and Nora won the gin rummy game? Snap, Wendy Moniz. I know, another new character/actress; however, this bitch is fierce. She was a fabulous Dinah Marler on GL!

There will be no comments on nuJack for obvious reasons.

Tea, I have come to really enjoy your ass, but I have a headache and am in no mood for your screaming. K thanks.

I just love that Strasser is still in the opening credits.

Well, fabulous. Mestiny is on. Not commenting on her either. My blood pressure cannot handle it. If anyone wants to discuss what went on in her scenes please feel free to do so in the comments section... same goes for the nuJack scenes.

Is there a reason why the writers are having Kathleen Finn do Nora Buchanan's job? I ain't even commenting on that foolishness. Nora should be in these scenes. Period.

The Todd and Tea scenes are fabulous. Thank you for using your inside voice, Tea!

Kim and Echo scenes are great, nothing special, just KZ and AS being fabu.

Ok, I think we can get by with random comments from now on. Show is kinda boring.

Did any of ya'll watch that "How Pop Culture Saved America" (I think that was the title.) September 11 special? These Bo/Kathleen scenes were the scenes that they showed when the Daytime/OLTL segment aired.

In case ya'll forgot, I'm over the GiGi shit.

There is just something endearing about Clint and Kim, there really is. Make no mistake, I am on Team Clint and Vicki, but I do enjoy Clint and Kim's relationship.

Why haven't Bo and Nora had scenes with Todd? Times, exqueese me, but I am beyond confused by this convo between Bo and Kathleen. Bo wouldn't go out with her because he was still in love with Nora and married to his job? Ok, so I don't disagree with that; however, I would lurve to know when this supposedly took place. This bitch had better not weasel herself in between my Bo and Nora. Just no. I am not having it. Oh, and Kathleen can back the hell up off of Nora's case. Period. Thank you, Bo, for defending your wife. I lurve you!

I mean, I'm bored.

Delgado, please defend Todd. That would be great soap.

K, I'm sorry, but it is just disrespectful to yell in church. I don't care if no one is in there.

Awe, Clint is helping Rex.

Now, I am no legal expert of anything, that is ME's forte'; however, I am reasonably certain that the mayor can't just waltz into a judge's office and get an arrest warrant. I mean, I lurve WM and all, but this is just pure foolishness. Where the eff is Nora? Egregious that she's not involved.

Since I haven't said it yet, I'll say it now. Poor Tea. She needs a hug.

Bo was such a smooth badass in his last scene, and I lurved it!

Didn't watch this scene, but why can't nuJack get arrested instead of Todd? That little walking middle finger should be in juvi like yesterday.

Well, that is all, my dearies. I know this wasn't the best post, and I apologize, but the show was rather boring, and I am beyond exhausted. As always, thank you very much for putting up with me while ME is away. I will respond to comments at some point this weekend.

Love ya'll to Della Reeces Pieces,
MH

HBIC Victoria Lord Banned Morris from Attending Victor Jr's Memorial. Homegirl is Pissed that He Has a Bigger Dressing Room

Clint: Vicki, thank you for talking the judge into sentencing me to house arrest. The beds at the Llanfair Refugee Correctional Center are far superior to the matchboxes at Llanview Hospital.

Vicki: You're very welcome, Clint. As HBIC and Warden of this facility, I like for my inmates to be comfortable. You will find a comment card in your cell. Please fill it out for a chance to win the privilege of taking out Mestiny so that Bo and Nora don't have to be in her storyline any longer.

Hi My Lovelies,

Afternoon, Bonjour, Hola, and all that! Mija is at the airport waiting for her flight to Louisiana and is missing ya'll already. She says to tell everyone "Whatitdo"! I am going to try and crank out a post for today's show before this afternoon gets more chaotic than a day at the Llanfair Refugee Camp/Correctional Center. I hope to be able to post about tomorrow's show sometime tomorrow afternoon or evening, but if not, I will post on Saturday.

(Insert gratuitous apology for any and all typos here)

September 15, 2011: Marty is actively trying to recruit Morris to be the mascot and greeter for her Halloween party. He's holding out cause he wants to participate in the apple bobbing contest, and Marty's not sure that's a good idea. Oh, and Bo and Nora said that if they beat Renee and Addie at gin rummy, they are using their winnings to pay for the overhaul of the backdrop of the manse... after they purchase themselves a new house. Word.

I'm just going to go on ahead and do a numbered post of random comments because I can tell already that I'm going to be pressed for time. I apologize!

1. Awe, a Sam sighting. He is just to presh for words. I lurve him!

2. Thank you baby Jesus, Queen V is on! Great to see her fabu self. Jess, not so much.

3. Clint is still looking as handsome as ever in that wheelchair. Ha - "Aren't you going to ask me about Kim?" This should be good!

4. Yes, Morris is making more money than any vet on this show! His paychecks could pay my bills for a year.

5. Echo is here, aaaaaand she's in blue. Big shocker. Her hair looks fab!

6. In case ya'll forgot, nuJack sucks. I mean, does he think that the cop on the other end of the line is intimidated my him? What is he going to do, force this cop to watch his bad acting for so long that the cop just gives up and arrests Todd for Victor, Jr's murder? It could work...

7. I lurve Blair's dress, and she looks fabulous in it.

8. Understandably, all of the Manning fam is devastated by Victor, Jr's death; however, I have a horrible headache and really don't want to have to listen do Dani scream her head off.

9. Over this GiGi as a ghost crap. Over it!

10. No words can describe the fabulousness of these Vicki and Clint scenes. I mean, they are that good, but dammit, they are too short.

11. Sam is adorbs, and ME and I will now get into a bitch fight over who gets to take him home to play.

12. Poor Tea. She looks like hell. I just want to hug her. I can't even imagine.

13. Dear ABC, I don't care how many promos you air, I will NOT watch The Screw.

14. Ya'll are probably sick of hearing this, but I'm going to say it anyway. I am insulted with this porcupine shit and need it to end.

15. Ok, I kinda don't like Vicki's necklace. Maybe something simpler with just a pop of color? Let me think about it.

16. Peeing, Sam is excited about getting to go the Phillies game without nuJack! Can't say I blame the kid.

17. Omg, I am crying during these Blair and Tea scenes. They are fabu! Ugh, I just caught a glimpse of that atrosh ottoman. Woof.

18. Sorry, but I hate Cutter. That is all.

19. "You are still a very handsome man, you know." Well, Victoria Lord (soon to be Buchanan), truer words have never been spoken.

20. May I just say how lovely it is that two vets are on and are discussing themselves and their own problems and not propping people. I needed this today, so credit where credit is due. Thank you, OLTL.

21. Dear nuJack, the only Scarface is Al Pacino, so please stop calling Todd by that name. K thanks.

22. In case ya'll forgot, Starr and James are more boring than watching paint dry. By the way, where is baby Hope? Ok, I peed on myself thanks to my own quesion.

23. A Dorian reference. Jesus, I miss Strasser.

24. Like the Vicki/Clint scenes, words don't cover the fabulousness of these Blair/Tea scenes. Times, PEEEEING. Blair to Tea: "You know what? You're going go if I have to get naked and get in the shower with you." I mean, this bitch will disrobe for anyone.

25. Lawd, I need to hurry. Only even more random comments from now on.

26. Ugh, teared watching the Vicki bumper.

27. I need Vicki and Clint to reunite, prontito. Seriously, this scene after halftime = FAAAAABULOUS!!!! Wait, people are moving out of Llanfair? I guess it's just going to be a Correctional Facility now. Word!

28. Tea to Blair: "You know, you really are a pain in my ass." Well, I just peed on myself.

29. Awe, a Vicki/Little Sam moment. Auh-dorbs!

30. Well, I'm crying during this memorial service thanks in large part to HBIC Victoria Lord's awesomeness.

31. Cutter and Kim/Aubs are on this show because? Exactly.

32. I lurve Roxy and Echo scenes. No particular reason, they just entertain me.

33. That was one short church service. We're already at the cemetery. I kinda don't know how I feel about this memorial service. I think it was done well overall.

34. Oh great someone lurking and staring at Victor Jr's photo in the church.

35. Wait, I'm peeing again. The after funeral gathering is going to be at a night club? Allll righty then.

36. In case ya'll were wondering, I'm not discussing the Morris and co. scenes cause they insult me.

37. Ok, I am sort of looking forward to the Echo/Kim scenes.

38. Ugh, now I want to know who the lurker is.

Well, today's show, save for a few elements, was leaps and bounds better than yesterday's, thank the lawd. Everyone have a great rest of TT, and I will see ya'll tomorrow or Saturday for tomorrow's episode!

Love ya'll mucho... oh, and Geaux Tigers,

MH

Step Aside, Bitches, There's a New Star in Town

Morris the Porcupine: That's right, Cutter, I am the star of this show now. I don't require a wardrobe budget, and my dressing room is bigger than Erika Slezak's. Hey, someone had to replace Christian.

Top of the Morning to ya'll,

I hope everyone is doing well on this fabulous Thirsty/Tito's Thursday! I don't know about you, but I am super thankful that today is TT. I have never needed a drink more in my life, and today is perfect because it is an LSU Gameday!!! Anywho, I just need this week to go away and never return.

So, here's the deal. I am going post about yesterday's show, and if I have time, I will blog about today's show this afternoon. If I don't get to blog about today's show today, then I will do so tomorrow afternoon. K, apologizing for any and all typos right now!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011: Rene and Addie are back in the attic playing gin rummy. Bo and Nora have now joined the game. Morris is getting an Emmy nomination. Marty is not pleased, but she kinda wants Morris to come to her Halloween party. She's been looking for a mascot!

Great, if this is a sign of things to come, I will hate this show. Starr and James. Not even discussing them. If Starr starts singing, I will lost my shit. I know that she is upset about Victor, Jr.'s death and all, but she and James are boooooring. Sorry. KA looks pretty, though - hair and makeup are fabu.

Aaaaand, things just went from bad to worse because Spaz and Dani are here. Say something nice, MH. Dani looks cute. Her hair and makeup look great. That's all I got. Not even discussing Baz. He's a waste of my time and energy, and he can't leave soon enough.

Blair looks fab, and that's all I have to say about that scene with Thomas.

I mean, somebody has it in for my ass. I know that I bad mouth Mestiny, but this punishment is just a bit extreme. Not only is NQS on, but Roxy (who I lurve) is discussing Morris the Porcupine with him. REALLY, OLTL? REALLY? Why don't you just put up a picture of a middle finger or a sign that says "Eff You, MH and ME" in the background or something. I am so mother effing insulted that this show thinks that I want to see storylines surrounding a damn porcupine or pointless characters at this stage of the game. Note to TPTB at OLTL, I will remind you for the 386th time: We only have until January. I am begging you to rid this canvas of the teen scene and pointless newbie characters (or put them faaaaaaaar in the background), and give me my vets, namely the Fab Four (Vicki, Clint, Bo, and Nora). Oh, and while I'm at it, please let them have their own storylines rather than propping the teens and reacting to other people's drama. K thanks!

Aubs/Christine and Cutter now. If I have to watch them have sex, I will lose it and run around my neighborhood Marty style.

Clint and Kim. Typically I enjoy them; however, they will not save this show. Oh, and I need Clint and Vicki back together, prontito!

Sick of this Rex and GiGi ghost shit, too.

That's it, I can't take it anymore. I'm making five comments about this shitfest and getting back to work. I sincerely apologize for this, but I have zero to work with. The show sucks.

1. New opening sequence I see. I will spare ya'll my analysis of it.

2. I mean, IF I get five comments about this show, I will be shocked.

3. Ugh, I am looking out of my window as I type this and am just so sad to see all of the vegetation dying. We. Need. Rain.

4. "Taxi-derma-tology"? Thank you Rox, I needed a hearty laugh!!

5. It baffles me as to how Blair and Thomas are so boring, but they are. Sorry.

6. I like the color of Aubs/Christine's dress.

7. Just a reminder, Clint is so handsome and regal. Period!

Ugh, that's it. That's all I have to say about this show. Woah, six comments. I am honestly shocked. The show was horrible and boring, and I need things to pick up... like yesterday. For your sake and mine, here's hoping that today's show is better.

Until later... Love ya'll, mean it!

MH

Everyone Just Please Bear With Me!

So...MH is going to do a drive-by of Wednesday's show and post for me the rest of the week. Sorry I have been so sporadic. I have had an appointment or dinner plans every day this week and then I had to pack this morning since I leave today...no time! I will try and respond to most recent comments today...backed up. I PROMISE I'll be back on track come Monday. Just a bit hectic. Actually, I think I picked a great time to be MIA since the show has been kinda sucky lately...woof!

Love y'all and most definitely mean it and THANK YOU for putting up with my craziness!

xxoo,

Disheveled Mija

That's It...Marty Just Needs To Come Back And Act Crazy For A Day Or Two To Get Me Interested Again

Nora: "I can't believe that not even you and me can make the show enjoyable for Mary-Ella today. I thought surely she would enjoy it today because of us. What are we going to do, Bo?"

Morning everyone! No rest for the weary. I should have time for a full post today...if I want to do it. I need the show to pick up. It has been dragging lately. Boo. Oh, and to answer Nora's quoted question...Jesus, please stop discussing this baby! I mean...it isn't there fault but the writers need to get with it with EVERY storyline! All of them!

Tuesday, September 13th--Marty Is Getting Bored. Soooo We Need To Bring Her Ass Back...Preferably As Victor's Kiler. K, Thanks

I mean...someone tell me when RH went shopping. Snap...Blair looks sassy as usual.

I mean...I laughed when NuJack walked in and said "I know what happened." I mean this kid ain't even believable. Lord have mercy.

I lurve Tea's little lounge sweater. To be in mourning, she looks hella fabu. Oh...and did y'all hear that Victor is still alive? Yeah...supposedly he is but I don't believe it.

This porcupine/mole/beaver whatever the hell thing is insulting! WOOF.

Good God I hate Rex's v-neck shirt.

NuJack is lying. I want to just give him a wedgie and hang him by his underwear on a coat rack.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?! I'm in such a chipper mood--my new haircut is great...short week since I"m going out of town tomorrow...but, of course, OLTL has to swoop in and say "No, ME, f*@k you and your good week. We are going to put MES on today...just for you." Why oh why do I have to be subjected to this girl?!

Praise God. Bo and Nora. However, I have a feeling I will hate their dialogue. I love the lavender cardigan. She looks presh. UGH...a mention of the child. Kill me.

Seriously kill me. Now Mes & Co. I can't deal. SHUT THE F*@K UP, Mes! Why oh why did you have to blurt out to Dan-YELLA and Tea about Shaun's recording?! Just to piss me off I'm sure. Bitch. I'm stopping...I get so outraged with her. That was sweet of Felicia to bring them food. But, Mes is getting no compliments. NONE.

To be poor, Aubrey sure keeps wearing new outfits.

Again, I agree that NuJack wouldn't be such a douche/murderer/all around super shitty person if RH would have been in the picture all this time. In other news, I usually just stare at Blair's figure the whole time she is in a scene. It is unreal.

Ugh...I'm kinda bored...AGAIN. Why is this happening?! I'm just commenting whenever.

I must say I love the lavender color and they should dress Nora in it more often. UGH...cringing about Nora and Bo defending Mestiny. CRINGING!!!!!! I am shuddering as I type. Oh, and Nora just admitted that she shouldn't have gone about the Felicia thing the way she did so maybe all the Nora hate will cease a bit...

I lurve Tea's lounge wear! I'm not discussing Felicia's comments. Just not this morning. Ugh.

I mean...I don't feel sorry for Mes at all and I don't care that the kids are talking about her. I'm such a bitch...I know.

Blair...RH has been away for 8 years and he is a better parent than you are. Exactly!!!! RH: "Where were you!? Getting your hair done!?" YEEEES!!!!!! THIS is what I am talking about. I love that RH is calling out Blair on all her shitty antics the past few years.

I just don't know if I believe NuJack. Regardless, we all know McBain will whisper until he finally learns the truth. Thank God for him in this town. Lord have mercy.

Where is Irene these days?

Y'all I STILL can't get over that they had Erin Torpey in a damn promo and then had her on for ONE...ONE...ONE scene at the end of the show and that was it. Such a fail. OMG.

I mean...granted, I was looking at Hillary's tennis bracelet but I seriously saw it for two seconds and the Rex and BN scene was over. I mean...what was the point? They can't even save the show for me today. That sad....

Yeah, I just told you this whole sob story...but...you just lost your hubs so I won't ask you to be my lawyer. Don't worry about it. WOOF.

I'm sorry but I am on Team RH during this Blair/RH argument. I mean...Blair failed during that debacle.

I'm bored with the NuJack and John scenes. I mean...I want John to hit NuJack with the coffee cup or throw darts at NuJack. That would be sooo much more entertaining.

Wow...another Spring Fling reference. I am praying that when Soapnet starts airing old shows they show that whole thing. I'd lurve it.

I'm bored this episode!!! I mean...my 2 favs are on and I am so bored!! I can't believe this. Boo! Just boo!

Why couldn't the person at Victor's have shot NuJack and NOT Victor. Balls. I lurve it...so NuJack has to write down a statement but Natty didn't make Tracy do one the other day. hehe. ;)

NOOOO WAY that NuJack wrote that statement THAT fast. I mean...WTF, OLTL?

I love that Cutter and Aubs have the blinds open as they discuss the porcupine containing the murder weapon.

Oh, I haven't said it yet so I'll just go on and do the gratuitous I love Bo Buchanan. He is so presh. They just don't get any better than him. Seriously. Well that scene was over rather quickly...

Ugh...I am so tired of hearing the next scheme Cutter and Aubs are planning. Barf Barf Woof. I mean...Aubs and Cutter have dominated the show. How effing sad.

Well, that was sweet of Tea to say that the baby was lucky to have Felicia and Nora. Good for her.

UGH!!!!! I cringe when Mes she had a part of Matthew growing inside her. I literally puked a little.

Praise God...Bo is FINALLY involved with the Victor murder. Lordy. Oh, and I must say that I do enjoy Bo and John scenes. They are good together.

Again, I love the lavender sweater. It looks great with a tan. Hmmmm so a talk about their grandchild. I bet we won't see what happens with this. No doubt. Woof.

So I wonder if Aubs is interviewing for Christian Vega's old position? If so when did this bitch get her bartender's license?

Oh sweet lord I need this episode to end...

Poor Tea. I seriously just can't imagine. =( And crying on cue...fabulous, Tea. Good stuff.

UGH...I mean it is gonna take a damn year before NuJack stops acting like a douche to RH.

Lawd...I need this show to pick up!!!!

Okay I have to hurry...stylist just go here.

Have a lovely hump day darlings!

xoxoxo,

Mija

Natty's Boobs Cannot Just Act Like A Flotation Device In Water...They Can Help Save An Episode

Natty: "Let's be serious. Everyone may think that John is a superhero but in all fairness my boobs have a helluva lot more power than McBain could ever dream of. My boobs just saved an episode...and they didn't even have to talk."

Evening all! Sorry...yesterday I was frantically shopping for a cocktail dress and then tonight I had a haircut and then a dinner date with a friend. But...here I am! Again, I swear I am going to respond to those comments. I have just been busy this week but I'll make sure I respond at work tomorrow. =)

Anyway, I am going to just write what I can about Monday. I mean...it wasn't that good except for RH and Natty. THEN...I promise I am blogging about Tuesday's show in the morning.

Monday, September 12th--Morris the Porcupine Has Taken Control Over Marty...And The Rest Of LLanview, For That Matter.

I love that Natalie used keys to get in Llanfair. Please bitches...you know it was unlocked. Just when RH couldn't get any cooler he just did after he called out Natty in the first scene.

Gosh, why did I think that damn thing was a beaver?! I thought porcupines looked...more dangerous? Am I confusing that with a hedgehog?

Times...so Brody just had breakfast with Natty in the previous episode but now he is back at the BD cafe?

I must say I am liking KZ's hair as of late.

I can assure you I don't/won't have anything positive to say about Starr and NuJack this episode unless Morris comes to life and eats them alive. Now that would be good soap opera.

I.AM.PEEING!!!!!!!!!! RH (picking up his cell phone): "I should call the cops. Hello. Is this the Llanview Police Department? Is there anybody there that I could speak to that hasn't slept with Natalie? One second..." Have y'all ever seen the movie "Office Space?" Well Ross is about to go to bed but he just overheard this seen and he was like...that's like from "Office Space." Y'all remember? "Hell, Lombard f*@ked her." Yeah...I bet only a few of y'all know what I am talking about. Good part of the movie.

Thank God...Aubs and Christine met. Ugh...I need to care but then I remember it is September and they stop taping this show (for ABC) in November...woof.

I loooooove looking at the extras in the BD cafe. Again, why is Brody at the BD Cafe...again?

May I just say that these damn RH and Natty scenes are SAVING this episode. Excuse me...RH, Natalie, and her boobs are saving this episode. I forgot the boobs are their own living breathing life form that has a house, car, social life, etc. Anyway, these three are hysterical! Snap...MA has nice legs. I have never noticed...cause I never see them? I lurve that RH called Brody "Brady" and then "Brandon." Once again the doors at Llanfair are wide ass open.

Ok so besides Natty and RH the show ain't my fav (again) so I'll go quickly with all this since I have to do today's episode, too.

I think the extras at the Angel Square flea market are more interesting...

Aaaand these John/Shaun scenes ain't my fav. Okay so the Vivian and Shaun finding a lagoon and getting naked comment...kinda random.

I'd rather have splinters underneath my toe nails than watch this Starr/NuJack shit...

RH and Natty ARE the show today. Ugh...wrong. Natty's boobs and RH's comments are just the shit. Who knew one's chest could be so powerful?! How about that? Seriously...it's true. Oh, and I think I agree that Jack wouldn't be so out of control if RH would have stuck around.

Shaun is so sweet. And enchilada casserole sounds delish.

Ok so does ANYONE else feel insulted by all of this porcupine foolishness? I mean...with this little time left on the show I am having to blog about a porcupine. I.Have.To.Blog.About.A.Porcupine. Let that sink in...

Peeing...Roxy to McBain to put out and IUD. haha! Then she just said three "sheeps " to the wine. OMIGOD...then McBain just said "I'm gonna try and find that porcupine for ya." How adorbs!

There can't be any vets on this episode because???? EXACTLY. What a flippin' fail. I mean...it's September 12th!!! No Vicki...No Clint...No Bo...No Nora...No Dorian (God bless her). Come one!!!!! This sucks.

Well, I did kinda like Starr hugging RH. Ugh...yes, I did.

LOL...I LURVE LURVE LURVE that McBain made NuJack leave and go outside and knock again. FAAAAABULOUS.

Y'all if I don't have more vets and a little bit more interesting shit I think I am going to lose it! It is so hard to blog since lately it has been like this every episode. =(

Oooookay. Going to get a few hours sleep then blogging in morning. I'll be back soon!

Thanks for putting up with me this week. I'm all over the place. ;)

xoxo,

Disheveled Mija

Clint And I Are Going On A Date. I'll Tell You How it Goes.

Clint: "Wait, you mean to tell me you don't think I'm the most dapper, attractive silver fox you've ever seen? At least I know Mary-Ella feels otherwise."

Hello and good evening! I've been busy all weekend and haven't watch Friday's show yet. I'll be blogging through Wednesday's episode (I think) and then MH will take over for Thursday and Friday's since I am flying to Baton Rouge for a wedding...woo hoo! I know I still need to respond to comments and I'll get to them at some point tonight or tomorrow I assure you. Okie dokie...

Friday, September 9th--Even Marty Thinks Clint Is A Dapper Sex Kitten...Wheelchair And All

I'm hoping I don't get bored this episode but I have a feeling I will...

I swear Kim has worn the same type of top every damn day but with a different color or print.

Ewwww...the Minuteman disgusts me to no end and I want to puke at the thought of Aubs or Christine and Cutter doing the horizontal mambo in that bed. Woof.

I do lurve the some good Nigel and Kim banter.

Sweet Jesus...I mean, Clint looks like he could be in a Brooks Brothers ad. LOVE HIM!

What.The.F*@K?! A fair? Flea market? Look at Angel Square being on OLTL. Rarely see it anymore

DAMMIT TO HELL!!!!! Baz and Starr. Thanks jerk-offs. My evening is now ruined thanks to you two clowns.

Maybe superhero McBain can save this episode for me.

Natty is sittin' all sassy. Oh snap...I wonder if Brody will kill Tracy, the secretary. Eh, no probably not. Just a quick thought...now dismissed.

This is an interesting cast of characters they have hangin' out in Angel Square. Lord now Roxy? She is on so sporadically. Wow...can you imagine if we had on Roxy, Renee, Addy, and Nigel? Hell...at this rate throw in Bo and Nora since they are so flippin' MIA. Oh, and Matthew. Sweet lord what a day that would be...

So Cutter is going to the flea market today? I mean...has OLTL ever had a flea market before?

PEEING...Kim: "Clint and I are very close. We're bonded." Nigel: "Much like...a tapeworm and its host." I LURVE it.

Ugh....I kinda like Aubs nightgown. I'm upset about this only because I hate to give compliments out to people who are holed up in the Minuteman.

Fresh blood and babies tears...hilar.

OMIGOD...that beaver! Morris? How presh. Snap...they showed KZ's shoes and I like them.

I.LOVE.JOHN.MCBAIN. I mean....he is as cool as a f*@kin' cucumber.

Baz's shirts looks like a car wreck. I mean...why would his mother or father purchase that shit for him? Assuming they buy him stuff...

These Brody/Natty scenes are like a hot second...

UGH...I NEED McBain and Tomas to play darts or basketball in John's office and talk shit and drink booze. I would love it. Hmmm...Ok so I don't think Tomas killed Victor. Do y'all? I know he wanted Victor out of Tea and Dan-YELLA's life AND he was late to meet Baz so he doesn't have an alibi...but still. I don't believe he is the killer.

HA! REALLY?! I mean...Rick Powers just dabbles into everything! Too bad Ross just hopped in the shower...missing his fav porn director.

What is the matter with me? I mean...I am REALLY digging Clint this evening! More so than usual. Maybe because he is a nicer guy now, too? The way Nigel said "mobile" was hilar. I must say I do like the Clint and Kim relationship but now...I just need him with Vickster. Word.

That's right Natty...get suspicious of Brody. He ate Marty's BBQ Sauce at the Labor Day BBQ.

I love that Echo said "our son" Rex. Nice...

I'm sorry...I do lurve Rick. I can't help it. No, we don't have time for his foolishness but I secretly like this bastard. God help me. He is so over the top and hilar.

Again, this is an interesting group of people in Angel Square. I keep staring.

What is that clipboard on the wall in McBain's office that says "toll calls" all about? I'm confused. Ugh...yes, I lurve McBain but he and Tomas are kinda boring me. I mean...even finding out there is no donut on Tomas' card isn't compelling...

OMG is Roxy going to put the gun inside the beaver? What is the name of it again? Murphy? Oh snap...Roxy and Nigel! Piggies...flying...right by my window.

You know what Starr? I'd rather eat broken glass then have salt poured down my throat than listen to your no-parenting ass sing a song. UGH.

Wow...so Brody just pulled out the gun at the BD Cafe?

Morris? Is that the name of the beaver?

Yeah...Kim is just wearing a bunch of printed dresses with belts. WTF is that all about?

I need Vicki to get a new couch? That velvet blue one has run its course. Ok not velvet I guess but atrosh nonetheless.

I LOVE Clint. I mean...he is even making this pole dancer tear up and feel good about herself. le sigh...

Eh...I ain't discussing the Baz and Starr scenes cause they are dripping in shit.

Ross has surfaced from the shower to see Rick in Angel Square. Thank God! Ok is it just me or does Morris look a little creepy? So is Cutter stealing Morris? Is that him holding it?

Shaun just surfaced 47 minutes in...really?!

TIMES!!!!! Is Christian finished? And, was Erin Torpey's return that shit that was all of two seconds?! I mean...someone tell me I am wrong about ET. Please. I was hoping she would get two episodes or something. WOOF. I don't care that Christian is gone but I am more concerned about ET. Also, how rushed and out of the blue was Christian's exit?!

So the doors at Llanfair are constantly open? Like 24/7. In case y'all forgot...Clint is so dapper and attractive.

Aubrey still seems to have a new outfit to put on even when broke. Very nice. So now these hookers are face to face...

I swear I think I saw Roxy's dress in Nordstrom. OH SNAP...Morris is a stuffed porcupine?! I've been saying beaver this whole time!!! UGH...I'm an idiot. Sorry y'all.

Why would Aubrey like Morris, Cutter? Do tell.

So Shaun has the recording to give John...nice.

Okay...off to make dinner!!! Will respond to comments at some point. See y'all soon!

Love y'all to pieces,

Mija