Sunday, July 10, 2011

Sit Your Ass Down.

John "I run shit" McBain: "That's right. I have 50 black suits and I don't speak above 25 decibels. If you have a problem with that then I'll have to kick your ass."

Good Evening!!! Hope y'all have had a lovely weekend! Posting a little later than hoped, but I forgot we had a friend in town and were going to brunch. Y'all should have seen the size of my bloody mary I had (or a Bloody Tito for those who know what I'm talking about) at the size of my damn head. Anyway, I'm gonna blog about Friday now and I will respond to blog comments tonight or at some point tomorrow. Promise. Sooo...

Friday, July 8th--John McBain Is Literally Telling Me What To Type...He Is THAT Good.
1. Well, Vicki just looks uber regal...lord! I flove it and I absolutely covet that coffee mug...tres fab! Aaaaand, RH is just hangin' out in the Another stellar example of how Llanfair's security is total shit. Non-existent. Zero. Nada. I's hysterical. Of course..."I have a sister. Her name is Vicki." THIS.HAS.GOT.TO.STOP. This bastard is either mute and spying or saying this phrase. Ugh.
2. The cop who brought in Vimal kinda reminds me of Mr. Belding on "Saved By The Bell."
3. This Toad and Vicki convo is delish.
4. Dorian looks stunning! Her outfits have been rockin' lately and Robin Strasser most def knows how to rock an outfit. WORD!
5. I'll be damned! Roxanne Balsom!
6. Aaaaaand the countdown has begun...Brody is now on the crazy train. Said train has not left the station but will shortly. All aboard for this wild ride...
7. DAMMIT! NuJack just makes my blood boil and he by NO MEANS knows how to fill out a suit. Pansy ass. Ross gets so outraged when he sees the damn chart in the background of the Euro vs. the Dollar. He really does.
8. Warning: Some people may find the following comment insensitive since it so soon after Gigi's death. I mean REALLY?! I don't give a shit if Rex is at the Buch Manse but I'll be damned if mother effing Gigi Morasco's picture is going to sit where Asa's was!!!!! This is egregious and absurd and now I hate that Rex is there solely because of this. I know I know...he lives there so memorialize Gigi and put her pic there. I don't care. No one takes Asa's spot...sorry. He is probably drowning himself in good bourbon (wherever he is) just seeing this shit. Ugh.
9. At least RH changed up the phrase this time and said he "could trust [Vicki] above all others." Thank God for small favors.
10. FACT: Natalie parted her hair differently. I'm kinda bothered by it, because I just keep looking at it instead of listening to all of their convo. I'm so awful...the whole time Brody and Natty are talking about not trying to hurt Jessica I just keep thinking "who gives a f*@k...she sucks."
11. Aw Jess has to surface. Ugh. Amazing...they let Jess take Ryder and Bree to the park. I mean I would just NOT trust her with those kids. Seriously. She is a walking head case. now the doors to the backyard are slightly ajar? So RH opened it slightly? Confused...
12. I don't like what they are doing to David and Dorian. I mean...Robin Strasser is about to leave soon and this is one of (if not her last) her last stories?! PUH-LEEZE!!!!
13. I can't stop saying this....thank you God Kim Zimmer's hair grew out a bit. I had nightmares about her new short do from a few months ago.
14. Times! Is Roxy's hair pulled up in a banana clip?! I haven't seen those in years! Awe...Nigel moved into the hotel. =( Rex do NOT yell at Roxy!!!!! I WILL NOT accept this shit! Shut your pie hole, spaz cake! Ugh!
15. Omigod I do LURVE some Tea/Blair banter. I cannot lie. Blair may be a dumb mother, but she and Tea are fabu together. Can I have Blair's body? Ok thanks. I mean...I want to touch her boobs and I'm as heterosexual as they come!
16. My God! A Marty Saybrooke reference. My heart fluttered a bit.
17. I JUST PEED ALL OVER MYSELF AND WILL NOW GO CHANGE!!!!!! John McBain is on a mission and when he said to Vimal: "Sit your ass down." AHHH!!! I LOVE IT! Well....McBain is now my 5th fav character on the show. Runnin' shit...wearin' black....whispering to the truth. That's how you get shit done...word.
18. This whole thing with Toad and NuJack is kinda like a Dexter and Harry relationship on "Dexter." Not totally but just with all the "I'm the only one you can trust. I'm the only one that can keep you safe." All that...just sayin'.
19. I can't watch this David and Dorian stuff. RS deserves better and I'm not commenting on this anymore this episode. Ugh.
20. Snap...Tea's lips are lined perfectly! So defined! I love it! Ummm yeah, awesome idea Tea. Going to see Rex and Co. That will go over splendidly!
21. Hmmm soo if Nigel is gone who set out all the club sodas and what not? Maybe they just set it up themselves. Ok so now I love Kim Zimmer's hair and I think the way it is cut and teased looks fabulous. She should keep it at THIS length and style forever!
22. So...Origami Cogs is Rex's shit. Cool. I'm not that interested in this yet...
23. HILAR!!!!!!!!! Vimal: "Rodi's is your establishment. Therefore it would be logical to conclude that that is where I encountered you" John: "THANKS, SPOCK." OMG OMG OMG! He is just quite the witty thing today huh? I love this. Hmmm. I wonder if Vimal would even know who spock is? I mean...did they show "Star Trek" in India? Probably. I dunno.
24. Who wants to hear Jessica be self-righteous and talk to Vicki about forgiving Natalie? Not me. And there we go with the RH phrase again...ugh. WAIT JUST A DAMN you mean to tell me that Jess does not see RH lurking in the backyard? I should catch her attention. Snap! I love the chair that Vicki was sitting in...divine!
25. Aaaand John McBain is kinda bein' a smartass with Brody and I kinda lurve it.
26. BoldSo is it official that Rex is leaving the show early? I mean...after all this revenge on Toad foolishness it seems like he would have to leave. I just don't see him sticking around. I'm not quite abreast of the latest on all this...
27. Who is Dorian's new maid? OMIGOD I FLOVE when Dorian spouts off French! Just absolutely love it. What happened to Helen? She was the other maid? Are they on a rotating schedule? Hmmm.
28. Yes...David just called Vickster "Vicki Lord Buchanan." Fabulous!
29. I mean...I've beaten this horse to death but I need effing RH to do something. I'm so tired of all this. Worst return of a stellar character ever. This story is so far down shits creek at this point that I think it is gonna sink soon...there is a hole in it right now. With each "I have a ______. Her/His name is______." the boat sinks a little bit more. Ugh.
30. will have a problem with Brody working for you once you catch yourself thinking he has morphed into Marty Saybrooke. I mean...that cray cray sauce loves THE McBain. Follow him everywhere. Poor bastard can't catch a break.
31. Oh this whole Blair and Tea visit is just dripping in awkwardness!!! I mean I feel awkward watching...lord have mercy! Badass idea, Tea. Stellar.
32. I must say I do flove the Vicki/David relationship...always have.
33. LOL!!!!! That mini handgun!!!! Poor Dorian is gonna have a heart attack!!!
34. Ummmm I know the pics of David and Ionia are real but people in Llanview should believe the pics COULD be doctored. Ummm hello...Georgie Phillips anyone?! That bitch had altering pics down to a science!!! Word!
35. And the awkwardness with this Blair and Tea visit continues. SNAP...look at ALL those peeps in the living room at the Buch Mansion! Geez haven't seen it that packed since Asa's funeral. I miss it. =(
36. During this RH losing his mind scene my eyes kept looking at Vicki's bookshelves and I was wondering if that damn Rick and Lily book was put back on the shelf. My God what a failure of a story that was...back when Gigi was totally on my shit list. That story was so embarrasing. Sorry...I didn't mean to go down that road.
37. I'm convinced that if Bree, Hope, and little Sam all got together they could paint a better effing backdrop than the one at the Buch mansion. I mean...the outside scenery is soooooo beyond shitty!!!! My God!!!!
38. Well, I will say that Natty's little encouraging words were quite sweet. However, Echo was left out and I feel a tad bit bad for her. Weird.
39. In case y'all forgot, NuJack is such an effing awkward ass douche and he is taking up space in this world. That is all.
40. Ugh...I cannot deal with Gigi's pic being on the mantle. I will not let this go.
41. Dorian pointing the gun at David was just downright comical.
42. haha! At least Tea now knows her idea was stupid as shit! They are quite the duo...lurve them.
43. Ummmmm just NO!!!! Rex wants to take out Blair and Tea?! REALLY?! I will loathe Rex before he leaves the doubt in my mind.
44. Oh shit...the tape recorder is missing and McBain knows it. Brody's Crazy Train is now boarding...
45. I don't give a flying f*@k about Jess and Natty reconciling...just don't.
46. Oh...why Vicki are you perplexed? A picture frame is broken you say? You think someone may be outside? JESUS H. CHRIST! Lock your effing doors!!!! I'd be beside my damn self if you got a security system, but at least lock the damn doors!!!! My God!!!! Don't act so shocked, V. You are smarter than this.


  1. Wow, so glad I didn't watch this episode. I would have gone ape shit over Gigi's picture in places of Asa's, I am sure Bo will not even care that he did that. They write Bo so OOC when he is around Rex. I already loath Rex, started to loath him long ago.

  2. New backdrop plan for the Buchanan mansion. Shane can just draw the comic book version of a backyard. I think even that would be better.

    (now following you on Twitter - find me)

  3. @mojomiller Well...Vicki was fabulous as usual. She looked all kinds of gorgeous...Dorian, too. I know you don't like McBain but he had me peeing on myself. Ummmm Gigi taking Asa's spot...I screamed! For the second day in a row...OLTL is becoming bad for my health! You are sooo right (in my best Nora voice)....Bo is OOC when he is around Rex. I know in the spoilers that in 2 weeks Bo has to choose between David and Rex. I mean REALLY?! REALLY?! Rex was on my good list when he saved Nora. He is taking the plunge again though now. Ugh.

    @Christie Found you on Twitter!!! OMG...even better idea about Shane being the artist. Hell...I don't care who does it at this rate...just fix the damn thing already! AH!!!!

  4. Knew you were gonna flip about John's "SYAD" comment!! Personally, I couldnt stop laughing either!! Quite possibly the best line I've heard all year long...kinda makes him look "more official" LOL!! I also get a kick out of how Toad spazzes out on Jack every now & then...pure comedy :-)

  5. sorry...that was posted by moi, S. Banks :-)

  6. @ S. Banks haha! You know me really well! I FLOVED when John said that. I swear I think I rewound it like 50 times. Pure awesomeness. does indeed make John look a bit more "official." Yes, I despise NuJack so when Todd smacks him or yells I feel like I'm getting some sort of justice. I mean...being exposed to NuJack is nothing short of torture! Would love for him to be taken out soon, but I know that won't happen...ugh. I can dream though. My God...I would KILL to write the show for a month!! AHH!!! ;)

  7. Rex is starting to be in the running for "Worst Parent Award", Shane is like, "Hey dad, we should let this go and move on..." And Rex is like "No! This how you should handle things in life! REVENGE!!! And taking your anger out on people who really had nothing to do with it! Learn from me Shane!"

    I love awkward situations, so that would have been heaven to be at the little gathering at the Buchanan mansion...Tea and Blair looked like deer in headlights!

    I am just going to Vicki and Dorian's house and rob absolutely everything, just to teach them a a lesson. Ridiculous! At least have a one of those security system signs in your yard to deter people a little bit! Ridiculous!

    "I have a dog. His name is Fluffy." LOL

  8. UGH! So glad I did not watch. Unless my Nora is on I am currently abstaining. My blood pressure has gone down. I already loathe Rex and I don't like my beloved Bo around Rex. He is OOC and I'm tired of the bromance that requires Bo to worship all things Rex. I would have gone bonkers over Asa'a picture being gone. NOBODY replaces Asa on that mantle. Between Rex and this Mes pregnancy I can no longer deal.

  9. @YoSammity Ugh. I'm like over Rex at this point. You are so right...Shane is uber responsible and Rex needs to listen to NOW! UGH! Going after Blair and Tea is NOT the answer. hehe...I love watching awkward situations despite the funny feeling they give me. Tea and Blair nailed those it! Stop...I mean I will buy Vicki a security system all by my damn self if needed. Jesus H. Christ. RIDICULOUS! hahahaha...peeing! "I have a dog. His name is Fluffy." The writers should use that...lurve it.

    @Andrea times, I wish I could watch only when Nora and/or Bo are on but lord knows it ain't gonna be that way for the next month or two since it is summer. UGH. Yes, Bo acts totally out of character when it comes to Rex and it makes me sick. WOOF. Ummm well I did go bonkers when I saw Gigi's pic there. I literally screamed a bit. Well, we know how I feel about the Mes pregnancy. I bashed her to hell and back in my last column. She is the shittiest character...ugh.

  10. I may have to stop watching for a month or two and tune back in to see if anything has happened. This show is far more aggravating than entertaining right now.

    Okay - it HAS had its awesome days - maybe 1-2 out of five ratio?

    The RH thing is really making me batty for all the reasons you listed. Todd's re-entrances to Llanview have always been stalker-mode - but was it ever THIS drawn out? And the self-dialogue is ATROCIOUS. LORD I need a classic Vicki / Todd scene NOW.

  11. @cri*cri Well, I could say the same thing but of course I'm gonna keep watching. I'm not too surprised about the show right now because afterall it is summer. However, I think you have an awesome idea to take a hiatus...can't blame you. There are usually one or two decent episodes per week. Agreed. Oh darling I know YOU are so disappointed in this RH thing since I know you love him. I think this is like the worst return EVER! Oh...dying for some Vicki/Todd weeks ago!!! Omigod...the self-dialogue makes me want to kill myself! It is so effing stupid. Entirely too drawn out...ugh. =(

  12. It was sacrilegious in a OLTL way to put Gigi's picture on the mantle in place of Asa's - and to fire Nigel and to not have any respect for Olympia's ring... And (I forget which day this comment aired) but are we really supposed to agree with Echo that ASA would be proud of Rex? I really hope Clint has another loophole to use because REAL Buchs need to be in the mansion.

    But what drives me nuts the most about this story is that everyone, including Bo, is ignoring Rex's obvious felonies. Viki, Joey, and Kelly witnessed Rex offering Gigi's heart to Clint for compensation (selling a human organ) and demanding all that Clint owns or the deal was off (extortion). And the audience knows that Rex only obtained the "right" to interfere by forging Gigi's medical proxy. Rex also tried to kill Clint, but Natalie wouldn't let Clint harass Rex further by reporting it to the police.

    Bo's only worried that Rex's anger will end up hurting him and Shane... um, Bo, you could stop Rex by arresting him NOW and letting him cool his heels in jail. I know that Rex is overwrought with grief and anger, but it's ridiculous to listen to him rant (especially TO Bo) about others getting away with things.

  13. @Emily OMG...we need to send that first paragraph into the damn OLTL writers regarding Buchanan history and how they are effing it up! Perfect! Oh, and when Echo said the thing about Asa to Rex I was like REALLY?! I mean...REALLY?! Ugh. You know how I feel about the stuff you mentioned before that. I think everyone in the whole damn town is gonna give Rex a damn free pass...sadly. Everyone feels bad about how Clint treated him and Rex is grieving...ugh. Vomit-inducing at this point. The way this is being written is making me loathe Rex like nobody's business. Good point about the Bo stuff. But, at this stage he won't arrest Rex. If Bo does it will be after all the foolishness with Blair/Tea/Todd/NuJack...lord help us. I am eager to see what Bo does when "he has to choose between David and Rex. I swear to God if the writers have it where Bo chooses Rex I'll lose my shit! UGH.