John "I run shit" McBain: "That's right. I have 50 black suits and I don't speak above 25 decibels. If you have a problem with that then I'll have to kick your ass."
Good Evening!!! Hope y'all have had a lovely weekend! Posting a little later than hoped, but I forgot we had a friend in town and were going to brunch. Y'all should have seen the size of my bloody mary I had (or a Bloody Tito for those who know what I'm talking about) at brunch...like the size of my damn head. Anyway, I'm gonna blog about Friday now and I will respond to blog comments tonight or at some point tomorrow. Promise. Sooo...
Friday, July 8th--John McBain Is Literally Telling Me What To Type...He Is THAT Good.
1. Well, Vicki just looks uber regal...lord! I flove it and I absolutely covet that coffee mug...tres fab! Aaaaand, RH is just hangin' out in the backyard...cool. Another stellar example of how Llanfair's security is total shit. Non-existent. Zero. Nada. I mean...it's hysterical. Of course..."I have a sister. Her name is Vicki." THIS.HAS.GOT.TO.STOP. This bastard is either mute and spying or saying this phrase. Ugh.
2. The cop who brought in Vimal kinda reminds me of Mr. Belding on "Saved By The Bell."
3. This Toad and Vicki convo is delish.
4. Dorian looks stunning! Her outfits have been rockin' lately and Robin Strasser most def knows how to rock an outfit. WORD!
5. I'll be damned! Roxanne Balsom!
6. Aaaaaand the countdown has begun...Brody is now on the crazy train. Said train has not left the station but will shortly. All aboard for this wild ride...
7. DAMMIT! NuJack just makes my blood boil and he by NO MEANS knows how to fill out a suit. Pansy ass. Ross gets so outraged when he sees the damn chart in the background of the Euro vs. the Dollar. He really does.
8. Warning: Some people may find the following comment insensitive since it so soon after Gigi's death. I mean REALLY?! I don't give a shit if Rex is at the Buch Manse but I'll be damned if mother effing Gigi Morasco's picture is going to sit where Asa's was!!!!! This is egregious and absurd and now I hate that Rex is there solely because of this. I know I know...he lives there so memorialize Gigi and put her pic there. I don't care. No one takes Asa's spot...sorry. He is probably drowning himself in good bourbon (wherever he is) just seeing this shit. Ugh.
9. At least RH changed up the phrase this time and said he "could trust [Vicki] above all others." Thank God for small favors.
10. FACT: Natalie parted her hair differently. I'm kinda bothered by it, because I just keep looking at it instead of listening to all of their convo. I'm so awful...the whole time Brody and Natty are talking about not trying to hurt Jessica I just keep thinking "who gives a f*@k...she sucks."
11. Aw hell...now Jess has to surface. Ugh. Amazing...they let Jess take Ryder and Bree to the park. I mean I would just NOT trust her with those kids. Seriously. She is a walking head case. Wait...so now the doors to the backyard are slightly ajar? So RH opened it slightly? Confused...
12. I don't like what they are doing to David and Dorian. I mean...Robin Strasser is about to leave soon and this is one of (if not her last) her last stories?! PUH-LEEZE!!!!
13. I can't stop saying this....thank you God Kim Zimmer's hair grew out a bit. I had nightmares about her new short do from a few months ago.
14. Times! Is Roxy's hair pulled up in a banana clip?! I haven't seen those in years! Awe...Nigel moved into the hotel. =( Rex do NOT yell at Roxy!!!!! I WILL NOT accept this shit! Shut your pie hole, spaz cake! Ugh!
15. Omigod I do LURVE some Tea/Blair banter. I cannot lie. Blair may be a dumb mother, but she and Tea are fabu together. Can I have Blair's body? Ok thanks. I mean...I want to touch her boobs and I'm as heterosexual as they come!
16. My God! A Marty Saybrooke reference. My heart fluttered a bit.
17. I JUST PEED ALL OVER MYSELF AND WILL NOW GO CHANGE!!!!!! John McBain is on a mission and when he said to Vimal: "Sit your ass down." AHHH!!! I LOVE IT! Well....McBain is now my 5th fav character on the show. Runnin' shit...wearin' black....whispering to the truth. That's how you get shit done...word.
18. This whole thing with Toad and NuJack is kinda like a Dexter and Harry relationship on "Dexter." Not totally but just with all the "I'm the only one you can trust. I'm the only one that can keep you safe." All that...just sayin'.
19. I can't watch this David and Dorian stuff. RS deserves better and I'm not commenting on this anymore this episode. Ugh.
20. Snap...Tea's lips are lined perfectly! So defined! I love it! Ummm yeah, awesome idea Tea. Going to see Rex and Co. That will go over splendidly!
21. Hmmm soo if Nigel is gone who set out all the club sodas and what not? Maybe they just set it up themselves. Ok so now I love Kim Zimmer's hair and I think the way it is cut and teased looks fabulous. She should keep it at THIS length and style forever!
22. So...Origami Cogs is Rex's shit. Cool. I'm not that interested in this yet...
23. HILAR!!!!!!!!! Vimal: "Rodi's is your establishment. Therefore it would be logical to conclude that that is where I encountered you" John: "THANKS, SPOCK." OMG OMG OMG! He is just quite the witty thing today huh? I love this. Hmmm. I wonder if Vimal would even know who spock is? I mean...did they show "Star Trek" in India? Probably. I dunno.
24. Who wants to hear Jessica be self-righteous and talk to Vicki about forgiving Natalie? Not me. And there we go with the RH phrase again...ugh. WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE...so you mean to tell me that Jess does not see RH lurking in the backyard? I mean...it should catch her attention. Snap! I love the chair that Vicki was sitting in...divine!
25. Aaaand John McBain is kinda bein' a smartass with Brody and I kinda lurve it.
26. So is it official that Rex is leaving the show early? I mean...after all this revenge on Toad foolishness it seems like he would have to leave. I just don't see him sticking around. I'm not quite abreast of the latest on all this...
27. Who is Dorian's new maid? OMIGOD I FLOVE when Dorian spouts off French! Just absolutely love it. What happened to Helen? She was the other maid? Are they on a rotating schedule? Hmmm.
28. Yes...David just called Vickster "Vicki Lord Buchanan." Fabulous!
29. I mean...I've beaten this horse to death but I need effing RH to do something. I'm so tired of all this. Worst return of a stellar character ever. This story is so far down shits creek at this point that I think it is gonna sink soon...there is a hole in it right now. With each "I have a ______. Her/His name is______." the boat sinks a little bit more. Ugh.
30. John...you will have a problem with Brody working for you once you catch yourself thinking he has morphed into Marty Saybrooke. I mean...that cray cray sauce loves THE McBain. Follow him everywhere. Poor bastard can't catch a break.
31. Oh this whole Blair and Tea visit is just dripping in awkwardness!!! I mean I feel awkward watching...lord have mercy! Badass idea, Tea. Stellar.
32. I must say I do flove the Vicki/David relationship...always have.
33. LOL!!!!! That mini handgun!!!! Poor Dorian is gonna have a heart attack!!!
34. Ummmm I know the pics of David and Ionia are real but people in Llanview should believe the pics COULD be doctored. Ummm hello...Georgie Phillips anyone?! That bitch had altering pics down to a science!!! Word!
35. And the awkwardness with this Blair and Tea visit continues. SNAP...look at ALL those peeps in the living room at the Buch Mansion! Geez haven't seen it that packed since Asa's funeral. I miss it. =(
36. During this RH losing his mind scene my eyes kept looking at Vicki's bookshelves and I was wondering if that damn Rick and Lily book was put back on the shelf. My God what a failure of a story that was...back when Gigi was totally on my shit list. That story was so embarrasing. Sorry...I didn't mean to go down that road.
37. I'm convinced that if Bree, Hope, and little Sam all got together they could paint a better effing backdrop than the one at the Buch mansion. I mean...the outside scenery is soooooo beyond shitty!!!! My God!!!!
38. Well, I will say that Natty's little encouraging words were quite sweet. However, Echo was left out and I feel a tad bit bad for her. Weird.
39. In case y'all forgot, NuJack is such an effing awkward ass douche and he is taking up space in this world. That is all.
40. Ugh...I cannot deal with Gigi's pic being on the mantle. I will not let this go.
41. Dorian pointing the gun at David was just downright comical.
42. haha! At least Tea now knows her idea was stupid as shit! They are quite the duo...lurve them.
43. Ummmmm just NO!!!! Rex wants to take out Blair and Tea?! REALLY?! I will loathe Rex before he leaves the show...no doubt in my mind.
44. Oh shit...the tape recorder is missing and McBain knows it. Brody's Crazy Train is now boarding...
45. I don't give a flying f*@k about Jess and Natty reconciling...just don't.
46. Oh...why Vicki are you perplexed? A picture frame is broken you say? You think someone may be outside? JESUS H. CHRIST! Lock your effing doors!!!! I'd be beside my damn self if you got a security system, but at least lock the damn doors!!!! My God!!!! Don't act so shocked, V. You are smarter than this.