Wednesday, July 6, 2011

It's Mija's Two For One Combo...Take a Potty Break Before Reading!

Vicki: "Awe, thank you Clint. I know I look simply stunning in this blue. I think the wardrobe department got Nora and me new clothes. We have never looked better."

Blogger's Note: I just realized that MH used this pic for her blog when she sweetly filled in for me, but this is all I can find. Sorry chuckles...

OMG...It's Hump Day! Thank You, Jesus!!! I just said "Thank You, Jesus" in my best Melissa Gorga voice from Housewives of Jersey...ugh. Y'all know the scene I'm talking about from Thanksgiving? Nevermind. Anywho...yes, I know I am a bad blogger. I have read all y'all's hilar and intelligent comments and I love them but have not been able to respond! I am away from my desk all week at work so I can't be sneaky and respond. Wedding stuff and other errands and what not get in the way at night. I'll try and respond tonight but keep them coming...just hilar.

Ok so after the damn Casey Anthony verdict (let's just leave that alone) it is only fitting that Tuesday's show suck...and it did. Soooo....I am going to hold myself to ten (10) comments (yes, just 10) about Tuesday's show. THEN...I will blog fully about Wednesday's. I don't know anything about Wednesday's show except that B/N were on...again, "Thank You, Jesus!"

Tuesday, July 5th--The Casey Anthony Curse of Tuesday's Show
1. "There should be no lycra between lovers." Thanks, David. I'm gonna say some shit like that to Ross when I get drunk, and he will no doubt throw me out of the bed.
2. I pray I produce a child half as adorable as Liam McBundle. I could just eat this child up with a spoon! Lord have mercy! Those cheeks!
3. Joey is a monumental tampon of epic proportions. Kelly is being written almost as terribly as Blair nowadays. Plus, Kelly and Joey just don't go least not THIS Joey with Kelly. I mean when you make a sandwich do you combine turkey (Joey...he is the turkey) and peanut butter (Kelly since she is acting nutty)? No, you wouldn't. It just doesn't work. FAIL! Or, diarrhea...either way the end result is awful!
4. This Rama/Aubrey/Cutter bullshit...y'all know how I feel about it. To quote Nora, these scenes "smell like manure [shit] after a heatwave." I mean...nasty, icky and I want to drive past this as quickly as possible. UGH.
5. *Sigh* I cannot even begin to describe in words how f*@king exhausted I am with this paternity storyline. I mean...lethargy has overtaken my body thanks to this story. It has gone on for months on end and everyone gets thisclose to divulging the truth and then...*crickets*. This is a joke and I'm just not interested anymore. Grazi, OLTL! Ugh...eff you.
6. Lemme discuss Blair for a nanosecond: I think David summed it up when he told Blair that "thinking is overrated." Ummm, I assure you David this bitch is taking your advice and has been for a good while now. UGH. The only positive is she looks sass in her outfit. I'm done.
7. I have been anxiously awaiting Dorian to appear after a hiatus of AT LEAST a week and these are the shitastic scenes they give the great Robin Strasser?! She is too good for this foolishness, and I know her send-off will be below par. Damn shame. Also...even Dorian can't save this episode for me. Le sigh...
8. God...Jessica sucks huge balls as a character. I'm so over her. Also, can y'all believe the show was this bad today and there wasn't even a damn teen on!?!?! God help us!!!
9. This Natty/Brody stuff...I can't like the scenes since Brody is about to crash and burn. When Natalie said, "I am moving on...if you'll have us." Then Brody said "with my whole heart." Kill me. Could be fabulous but it won't be...thank, OLTL. OMG WOOF! WOOF!
10. I mean...Toad and John were both on and could have saved the show, but they weren't given anything to work with...dammit!

I need Wednesday's episode to deliver. Mercy.

Wednesday, July 6th--St. Ann's Nuns WILL Make This Episode Good. They Just Have To...I Will Accept Nothing Less
1. WHAT?! Please someone...a stranger off the street...Mestiny...little Hope...PLEASE tell me what Nate is wearing!!!! He looks like a naughty park ranger! F*@king gag me! Rick just looks trashy.
2. Ah...bless you, OLTL, for giving me this little bit of joy I call Bo and Nora. And, the new wardrobe trend for Nora continues...even new jewlery. FAB!!! She looks all kinds of adorbs.
3. OMIGOD...that f*@king BRIGHT ASS PINK preg test will just NOT go away, and I am now certain that I am going to have nightmares about a walking PINK preg test chasing me saying that "Mes is coming for me!" I just know it. Ugh...I'd prefer hell at this rate. This bitch needs to go away like 2 years ago...literally.
4. I'm convinced: Someone on the OLTL writing staff is out to get me. There is no other explanation for this absolute torture they are putting me through. I's bad enough Baz/Bruno is at Capricorn (so he is practicing in the morning?) spinning badass jams but then Starr has to stroll in with little Hope?! COME ON, OLTL! Seriously?! Little Hope has more sense than these dipshits combined. Poor thing. Hope is better off with Marty! WORD!
5. this Rex stuff will be sad.
6. Ummmm Erika Slezak looks PHENOMENAL in that blue! Mercy she looks gorgeous! Oh, and she and Clint together! Be still my heart...or, Gigi's heart I guess.
7. Oh dear God. Now NuJack?! They have to put the teens on all at once. Kill me. I want to tie weights to NuJack's feet and throw him in the pool. Yes, I said it and I am not taking it back...
8. Go ahead with your bad self, Shane!!!! Defend your mother! May I just say that so far Clint has looked like a mummy in a tomb...those arms crossed over his chest. Hmmm.
9. picture keeps going out periodically. Ugh. WTF?
10. God I've missed Bo and Nora. Oh, and I can't wait for them to figure this shit out and I want NQS' ass kicked NOW.
11. No. No. No. No. No. Seriously!? Dammit OLTL. Why don't you just put up a banner in the background that says "F*@K YOU, VIEWERS!" Are you REALLY Going to subject us to this James and Dayt-en convo!? Aaaaaaaand, WTF is Dayt-en wearing? I need a closer look. Also...I will sleep with whomever I have to in order to clean house with the teen scene!!!! Seriously. I have no shame at this point.
12. My blood pressure is rising and Ross just asked me why (after I said my bp was rising out loud). Why is my bp rising? I'll tell you...Baz just asked Starr "Wow...that's intense. So how do you deal with all that...with school and stuff?" Oh really, Starr? Your family helps out!? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!!!! Addie Cramer raises that child! Bitch, tell the truth!!!! Mercy!
13. Ain't dealing with Mes...word. I have no patience as it is let alone for this shit.
14. Bo is so presh. Ummm...Nora, I have zero patience either. Word! Hmmm I've noticed that Bo always has to wander off for a little bit and Nora is always like "go...go I'll be fine." Just an observation. Not that he always leaves her...
15. Jesus! I don't want to discuss the Mes shit but Bo surfaced. He is sooooo adorbs. Ugh Bo...Mes, SUCKS! You and your darling wife need to declare war against this ho but I know you won't. Le sigh.
16. Awe...Nora is reading to Matthew? Be.Still.My.Heart. I think it melted a little. Wait...she is gonna read Charles Dickens?! Eh...sorry darling. Matthew will NEVER wake up if you subject him to that. Please choose another title. But, your heart was in the right place Nora...give you that, dear.
17. I feel like someone is shoving that hoe up my ass as I watch these NQS scenes...THAT painful.
18. Omigod are you joking?! The "Llanview Carwash?!" REALLY?! I could kill Dayt-en. Aaaand, Dayt-en just lied and said she got a text from Inez. Even better...Jesus.
19. OH REALLY, STARR?! Hope has been clingy lately?! Probably because you are never around you whore. Yes, Cri*Cri* I just called Starr a whore...again. I know it's mean but it is the first thing that comes to mind. On another note, I am not even going to discuss the whole thing about how stupid and effed up it is that Starr is going to fall for Baz just like that after she and James have been tip-toeing around their romance for a year. Let's be serious...
20. Of course...Queen V, go take Shane out to talk. If anyone can comfort him, you can. Aaaaand, Clint is STILL clutching that pillow for dear life.
21. Wait...really, OLTL? Blair is going to surface 17 minutes into the show?
22. My eardrums just f*@king shattered. Starr is now going to sing. Just no. Not gonna discuss the Starr/Baz scenes anymore. Oh, and I actually felt sorry for James when he walked in to Capricorn. What is the matter with me?
23. I mean...the Nora/Matthew scene was like a nanosecond. WOOF!!!!
24. Wow...Dan-YELLA's shirt is all ate up with shit, too. Ugh.
25. In case y'all forgot...Vicki's the shit. I mean...she just is. Endgame.
26. Blair's hot but I hate that they make her wear the same style shirts all the time. Blair, if you believe NuJack then you are dumber than I thought. Seriously.
27. Clint STILL has the sex hair! Even post surgery...lurve it!!!! I need these Vicki/Clint alone scenes to deliver. I know they will if ever given the opportunity.
28. UGH!!!! THAT SUCKS to come home after someone has died and all his or her stuff is everywhere.'s like a kick in the gut. I don't envy Rex and Shane at all...poor babies.
29. Ok, so I kinda like it that Clint still called Rex a "sonofabitch" but I know that is totally wrong. Suh-nap!!!! Adorbs Bo just walked in. I mean...Clint/Vicki/Bo in a scene...fabulousness overload. Bo whatcha gonna do about this confession business? We know that Vickster will know CB is covering for his nephew. I'm interested to see how this all goes down.
30. At least Nora borderline shooed Mes out of the room...even if to go get a doctor. Ugh...she is ALWAYS up in Bo and Nora's business. DAMMIT TO HELL!
31. Whoa...Rex just told Shane that "You are the most important person in the world to me now." does this mean he was second to Gigi and now is the most important. I don't have kids so I don't know how this all works...just sayin'. But, I assure you that if I were Shane my little prissy ass would have been like "Oh really now? So I was second to mom?" Yes, my little ass would have said something like that. I cannot matter how awful.
32. I like Blair and Toad scenes but I'd prefer if NuJack weren't around. Oh, and I had to roll my eyes when Toad mentioned Blair being in New York. PUH-LEEZE, y'all! PUH-LEEZE!
33. Not discussing Starr and all that shit. Also, the Dayt-en and Rick shit is ridic. WAIT just a DAMN minute! Rick was with NQS...then outside Matt's back where Dayt-en is THAT quickly! Please. This bastard must have magical powers. It's like when Vicki went from the Minuteman back to Llanview Hospital to talk to Dorian a while back...y'all remember that? Cray Cray!
34. When NQS just said "Deanna" for a minute I was like "wait, who is that?" I've brainwashed myself with these damn nicknames.
35. LOL...that's right, Bo, get out of that room asap. Vickster will be onto Clint's bogus confession. Again...Vicki is the shit.
36. WAIT...where is Dr. Smurf?! I read in spoilers that Smurf is the one that tells BN that Matt has to go to a special clinic. WTF? Who is this guy? Hell, anyone is better than Smurf but I'm just curious. The Bo and Nora hugging is just dripping in adorableness and love...cannot deal.
37. Eh...Rex will eventually change his mind or make amends with all this Clint shit so I'm not worried. My darling CB will get his shit back. Word.
38. Ouch...Toad just called Gigi "what's her face." Yikes.
39. I want to slam my head through my glass coffee table if I have to see anymore of this Starr/Baz shit...or any damn teen scene for that matter.
40. Toad just made a reference to grand theft auto...I instantly thought of the video game. Lame, Mary-Ella. Really Lame.
41. Poor Shane. Awe...and he is touching Gigi's dress. It was adorbs and a damn shame it won't be worn again. Oh snap...NuJack.
42. Take me out Gabrielle Medina style RIGHT NOW! It's fitting since Mes is in a bathroom at the moment. Wait...I feel like a lot of people don't know who I am referring to when I discuss Gabrielle. I'm so effing tired of that PINK test. UGH! Just pee on the damn thing already!!!! So she is gonna open it just in the middle of the bathroom and not in the style. Oy vey!!!
43. I'm not upset about the news about Matthew because I know he isn't going to die. Whew on that. I'm just glad I get to see Nora in that cute outfit tomorrow again...word, yo.
44. AH!!!! Vicki!!!! You are breaking my heart!!! However, sorry Vicki I still need Matthew to have a life at this point. Sorry. So...something needs to be worked out to where everyone is happy. Yes, that is the best solution.
45. Thank you to the vets for single handedly SAVING this episode from ruins. God knows it would have been eaten up with all kinds of Mes shit if it would have been just the teen scene. GRAZI!!!

POOPED!!!!!! Need to take a break. Again...will try and comment back to everyone. If I can't, then I'll just have to pick up with this new post and go from there since I'm getting behind. See y'all tomorrow evening!

Loving you and meaning it!
Mija (the wine has calmed me so I'm not crazy Marty this evening)


  1. Been a long time, between no Nora and work being super super crazy I haven't really had the chance.

    I am going to take the pregnancy test and shove it down Mes's throat. WTF goes around in public flashing around a pregnancy test? Only someone who want the entire world to know she had sex! LMAO, on the Gabby reference, how about we take Mes out that way, instead of you? I think that would make many people happy.

    It was nice to see our girl, wish it could be more than two seconds, and more than her and Bo reacting to the Matthew situation.

    As for the rest. Ah. Totally over Starr and her scene. Don't really care about Rex and Shane. Won't even discuss nuJack or, already looks like a porn guy, NQS.

    Jessica, all I can say is she and her alters could all leave town or drop dead and I would not care at this point. Her character is so ruined that I don't care about this legacy character that I grew up with.

    Overall, this show has been sucking lately. I don't know if it is the rewrites, or the normal teen summer suckage, or if they are trying to run the show into the ground before it leaves the air. But I haven't been impressed.

  2. For Tuesday's show, I wholeheartedly agree with you opinions but find fault with your analogies. Peanut butter and turkey sandwich...delicious, don't knock it til you have tried and it, and manure after a heatwave...the only thing that smells better is manure before a heatwave! XD

    As for Wednesday, I could totally hear your voice talking while the show was going on...

    When Mes was looking at the PINK box and awkwardly try to shove it in her purse, which seems to be the same size, before Danielle saw it, I heard you scream....

    When Starr said her family "helps out alot", i heard you say, "Oh thats the understatement of the year!

    When NQS did...well, just NQS being on the show, I just heard a long string of curses...OMG when NQS yelled at Danni, I swore he was gonna punch her just like he did Matthew...

    BTW I imagine you sound like Chelsea Handler, only woman I could think of who could pull of your angry tirade!

    I'd rather hear Starr sing, then Blair...geez!

  3. I can stick with the paternity storyline that will not die a little bit longer if we are going to get some angst/longing between Natalie and John. Because you know now that they've agreed to move on, they won't be able to stay away from each other....

    I really wanted Brody and boring Jessica to end up together. But she's dead to me now after that ridiculous apology to peanut sixpack Ford.

    I am stunned you were able to write as much as you did about Wednesday's eppie. It was so awful and boring I got through it in 5 minutes.

  4. Dorian is just stupid if she can't figure out Echo is behind the David story and Dorina is NOT stupid--so again this is a FAIL.

    I loved the gabby, max, tina, cord days,--so much better than the stupid that is Ford boys/manning girls.

    This show is being very badly conceived lately, I hate that it is boring me :(

  5. YoSammitySam you stole my line. ME runs through my mind at certain points in the show. I knew item 12 would come up in the blog.

    The looks that Clint and Bo gave each other...hysterical.

    As for the Gabrielle reference, I did get it and didn't even watch the show then. That is what youtube is for...we all have to be responsible for our own OLTL education. Didn't you say you wanted us to learn something here??


  6. Hey All,

    Just wanted to share the GOOD news!

    Three months after ABC canceled the soap operas “All My Children” and “One Life to Live,” the network said Thursday that the shows would be given a second life online by Prospect Park, a two-year-old media and production company.


  7. Goooooood Morning!!!! Oh, I have missed returning comments. Ok here we go...may have to do this in two posts.

    @mojomiller Well I have missed reading your comments, but I totally understand. My life has been bananas, too, and will be until after August 13th! Yes! We could shove the damn test down her throat! The possibilities are endless when it comes to giving Mes the gruesome death she deserves...bitch. Awe...yay! You got my Gabby reference. I just feel some people don't. I agree...we can just take Mes out Gabby style instead of me. Thanks for suggesting I spare myself. ;) Yes, it was fabulous to see our girl...and our guy...looking all kinda of fabulous. Downside...just reacting to Matthew and Mes interfering. Le sigh. I'm over Starr and her ruined character. NQS does fit the porn profile already...bastard. I think he and James are gonna leave the can only hope. Amen...Jessica's ass needs to go or some shit. She is all ate up with atrosh and I'm so over her ass. UGH! Yes, the show has been sucking. I'm giving it somewhat of a pass since it is indeed summertime and we all know how summer is. Totally shitty...however, I must say we are seeing more of our BN this summer than last summer (which I have tried to forget about). Word!

    @YoSammity You always make me pee on myself!!!! So you enjoy some PB and Butterball? Word. I will now try it only because it has the YoSammity Seal of Approval. Yes, I love manure before a heatwave. If I could bottle the scent and wear it everyday I would....ah! Let's see...of course, you hit the nail on the head on every point. Except with Mes and the pregs test I screamed and then yelled how I want to f*@king kill her. She brings out so much rage! hahahaha!!!! I DID say something similar to Starr having help with Hope to be the "understatement of the year." My friend says my humor sometimes reminds her of Chelsea. You know...I'm not an angry person in general and (Ross can vouche for this) this show is like the only thing that brings all this out in me...lord have mercy! Better than just Starr singing...she and Blair need a duet. How awesome would that be. YoSammity you're so witty...I may put in my will for you to do my eulogy. ;) haha.

  8. @Anonymous Well, I'm glad you are interested in some John and Natalie angst. It would be so much easier for me to get on this bandwagon, but I just can't. As far as Jessica and Brody, I don't want Brody with her because I think she sucks. This show has ruined what used to be a FABU character. Ugh. There is just no point in disucssing Brody since he is about to lose his marbles. How did I write so much about Wednesday's show? Well...Bo/Nora and Vicki/Clint were on so that saved it for me. However, the rest of the show was AWFUL! It's not that I necessarily thought the show was great so I was gushing. If you noticed I was pissed off for most of the show. Sometimes I just get keyboard happy and go off...particularly I go off on the teens. So...I guess it just depends on what kind of mood I'm in really. Hope that answered your question! :)

    @rac OMG...I have a feeling this Dorian send off is going to make me want to hurt someone...where is Mestiny?! I'll take my anger out on her! ;) No, but seriously, Dorian is smart and this is just nonsense and insulting since Dorian is one of the few characters that IS OLTL. She is a staple and I hate the way they are writing her. Ugh. Ah...Max/Gabby and Tina/Cord. Be Still My Heart. Now we are subjected to NQS talking to Dan-YELLA shirtless by some lake. Ugh. Yes, it has been UBER boring as of late. However, I'm not surprised since it is summer. Summer always sucks. UGH. Pray it gets better.

    @Christie Mercy I have invaded your thoughts! ;) haha! And how right you were about #12 huh?! I mean...blood boiling! AH! I feel some of the comments on this show are so effing insulting. That being said...our adorbs Bo was on. *Swoon* Ah...I just love him. Oh, and he and Clint are all kinda of awesome together...even if for only a second. AH!!! You are proactive with your OLTL education! Yep...poor Gabby got taken out by the Music Box Killer. Eh...I didn't like her dating Bo, but I still liked her as a character. Poor thing. If you EVER want good youtube suggestions, I will most def give you a few. Just let me know!

    @Akesha Hey darling! My most thorough commenter...I'm back to respond! Yes, MH broke the news to me yesterday while I was at work. I'm cautiously optimistic. I'm gonna discuss that in my blog today. I will most def watch. I already watch 2 web series so why not a 3rd? Oh, and that means the blog and these friendships can go on...WORD! :) Thanks so much for letting peeps have the link!