Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I Was Just Baking A Pie. What's On Your Mind.

This picture explains itself. John bakes pies. Word. Now there is an apron to boot!

What it do?! Happy Hump Day! I have zero clue has to what happened on the show Tuesday. Normally, MH will let me know but she has company visiting and missed it. Regardless of who is on the show, I will happily watch anything since I have been subjected to CNBC for the last hour thanks to Ross but now he is gone so I can blog...word. I know I have a couple more comments to respond to and I'll do that from work at some point today. I will try to be as thorough as possible this morning, but it all depends on time. Ok...

Tuesday, July 26th--What Can John McBain NOT do? He Bakes For Crying Out Loud!
1. Alright, change of plans. I planned to be relatively thorough...can't. Starr/Baz kissing (FAIL) in the first scene...just no. To make things better, Ford and James are also at "the location." I does one expect me to discuss this foolishness? I can't.
2. Praise all things holy!!! Victoria Lord! Jesus, Marty, and Joseph...I NEEDED you to surface. I was hoping for a Clint appearance, too. Whannn...where is he?! :( Oh, it's ok Emily. I saw your post. I'm looking forward to him on today's episode. :) OH WOOF. Jessica is on today. Kill me. And Bree? I'll be damned. Again, Jessica has zippo business being in charge of those tots. The bitch is still dripping in crazy sauce, and she is a loose cannon on a good day. UNCLE BOBBY?! Balls! REALLY? REALLY, OLTL.
3. Wow...haven't seen Brody's apartment since they showed that clip of Brody and Natalie doing it in the bazillion flashbacks they showed of that. Hmmm...which is better? Brody or McBain's. As if that's a question...McBain's. He has a slot machine. I bet y'all think McBain's is better, too, huh? hehe. Sorry...I had to do that this morning since I'm feeling silly.
4. McBundle will no doubt be the shining star in these Natty/Brody scenes, because I have a feeling like they are going to be UBER boring. Y'all I can't get over the cuteness that is McBundle!!!
5. Ugh...I DO have to go here for a second. Soooo James and Ford get to have an in-depth conversation about his feelings for Jessica, etc. James gets to whine about Starr and their disaster of a relationship. Yet people like Vicki and Clint only had a short convo before his surgery and they really haven't been on together since....oh, I dunno...Clint almost effing died. Poor Bo and Nora only get to react to Matthew's atrosh doctors or they are having to talk to other shit characters (Mes). Echo and Dorian were at the Minuteman with silly string and what not basically playing a damn game. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS SHOW?! I know it is summertime and all and the vets go on vacation...yada yada yada. But, I'm sorry. I don't give a rat's ass. When the vets ARE on, they are not given any good material and are forced to just prop others. Utterly ridiculous and I'm insulted. I'll stop. See...this is how I start running out of time in the mornings. Woof Woof Woof.
6. The thought of McBain in an apron and baking a pie from some Paula Deen recipe makes me smile. Can y'all imagine this man dressed in pastel? I literally CANNOT.
7. When y'all watch these "location" scenes what goes through your mind? I feel rage...violence...anger...embarassment. That's it...all I got.
8. Vicki, there could be someone lurking in the backyard girlfriend. Be on the lookout. Also, Vickster is having to prop the Buch twins. Over this shit like last year. I would love for Queen V to have her own story. I mean...too much to ask?
9. I need Natalie to stop sucking. I want to like her again...I do. However, between her lies, shitty forensic skills, and now boring scenes with both John and Brody...I have to say I'm having trouble jumping on the Natty train. *Sigh* Who misses the days when Marty and Natty would go at it? God knows I do. Those fights were so juicy and volatile. Tear...
10. I love that Tea is enlisting John to help Toad...a guy McBain loathes. Oh well...McBain's THE best. Tea is STILL looking fierce. God, she acts more like a badass at John's apartment than she does in her own modern house she shares with Toad. It must be the magic of McBain's mojo. Brings out the badass in her...
11. These "location" scenes are an effing trainwreck. I hate these woods. I wish some crazed Boy Scout would just come and eradicate all these atrosh characters. Or, some sicko girl scout could sell them poisoned Girl Scout cookies. Either scenario works for me.
12. Dammit to hell. That's it. Y'all I'm sorry but I am so bored. I mean...besides the fact that it is just lovely to see Victoria on the show today and the delicious fact that John McBain bakes pies...THAT.IS.IT. Y'all I'm just gonna do random snippets. I mean...let's be serious, I could be getting ready for work and watching the news instead of this foolishness. Terrible Tuesday. Woof. I'm apologizing now for this post sucking. I just have nothing to work with here.
13. I'm so glad Vickster told Jess that it's HER [Vicki's] house...shitastic or non-existent security system and all. SUH-NAP!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER Tina effing Lord reference!!!!! Now Vickster is talking about their relationship. Dear September, Please hurry up. I NEED Tina and Cord. For shits and giggles, may I also get Kevin at some point? k, thanks. xx, ME
14. Aaaaand RH continues to make a big chunk o' change without saying a f*@king word. I mean...where can I find a job like this? Description: must lurk in the shadows, not utter a word, spy on others, and make friends with cool children. I'M THERE! Sign me up, bitches.
15. I just got schooled...RH just talked in the flashback. Damn.
16. Vicki blends in with the furniture at Llanfair.
17. I used to find Natty and Brody either interesting or adorbs, but I ain't feelin' either of those today. These scenes are boring as hell.
18. Y'all I'm dying!!! Why am I so bored? Because I'm tired, maybe? I dunno...
19. Wasn't Starr supposed to be "getting gas?" WTF?
20. Oh...the third good thing about this episode is Tea looking all kinds of gorg in that dress. That is the only other thing. Sorry...forgot that one.
21. I'm pretty sure if I puked on Toad's ottomon no one would notice since it would just flippin' blend in...
22. Aaaaand, Natty and Brody will have sex. Just what I needed this morning. I wonder if we will be subjected to about 1,000 flashbacks of this like we were the last time. Good God.
23. James...YOU were Baz at this time last year. Wise up or grow some balls...something.
24. Jesus H. Christ....FASTEST sex ever!!! I mean...they hadn't even undressed all the way and then they were done? Yet, Starr, Baz, and James were still in the same quick convo...whoa.
25. This Ford and Jessica romance is nothing short of disgusting...
26. I'm not sure Hounds beer will go with the pie John is baking...

Ok so let's all pray that Wednesday is better. I can't do this again tomorrow morning. Lordy.

Have to run! Must go get fluffed and puffed for work. See y'all after while!

Love y'all and meaning it mucho...
China Lake


  1. Maybe Starr said she had to stop so she could relieve gas...Oh, and to speed up my decent into Minuteman Hotel Hell, did you notice that Natalie was sporting some hefty Spanx in that love scene. They should have covered that mess up. That chick has enormous boobies BTW.

  2. Thanks for saving me from the pain of watching. I'm so annoyed that we have precious time left and so much time is being wasted on so many useless characters. Starr's love life is another waste of airtime. Poisoned Girl Scout cookies works for me. We could purge Llanview with them. Still want a large mammal to land on Mes though. Perfecto. I want my Fab Five. I can't believe Dorian is about to leave and this crappy summer is her exit.

  3. @Katie hahaha! Relieve gas. Yes in the woods where she thought no one would be around so she could do her business and not get judged. Word. DAMMIT...Natty had on Spanx and I missed it!? UGH. Of course, I deleted the episode already. Balls. If I would have caught it, I would have said something so don't feel bad. Thank you for being observant! OMG...I love her boobs and want them. That's it.

    @Andrea Oh, my pleasure. I'll be a martyr with this damn show if need be. I can't discuss Starr's love life. hahahahaha...YES...STILL want the large mammal/animal for Mes. I liked your flying hippo idea. Pretty perf if you ask me. cocktail hour after...word. I think the poisoned cookies can be used on the rest of the teens. I need the fab five, too. I mean...who do I have to sleep with to get them all in one room together?! I think I would die if that happened! I swear the last time we saw that was at Todd and Tea's "Back from the Dead" party. Balls.

  4. Yup - nursing this bruise on my ASS from when I fell over laughing when John said he was baking a pie - CLASSIC. I am totally crushing on McBain at this point - and am loving that he is being RH's savior. Did not predict that and I love it.

    Good lord I hope Blair can get back some of her snap for what is coming. Too much to hope for?

    The teen crapfest is AWFUL. Watching on Hulu now and I can totally skip these scenes altogether, but was not able to avoid the Baz Starr totally lame ass smooch-fest. Uber yuk.

    Don't worry Dorian - everyone will have to end up showing for your premiere after all so that we can have the high drama Rex attempted murder-fest and big Todd/Toad reveal with as much of Llanview present as can be mustered. I am sure of it.

    Am so happy things are moving along with RH, words fail to convey. Trying to decide if I can live with the beard or not . . .

    Thought: since Blair is such a dip these days, and Nattie just doesn't deserve the "crime-whisperer" perhaps Todd and McBain can "jump the fence" and create some new soap history . . . I think they make a lovely and very entertaining couple.

    Okay - not really. Just way too much testosteroneos flying around there eating up all the oxygen . . .

    aka Young Boots

  5. I love that Todd (Roger) is wearing McBain's basic black clothes but couldn't find shoes to fit. Hilarious. And his McBain impression..ha ha ha. Too much. At least we've got us some good Vicky - and trust me, there's going to be a lot of Vicky, Nora, Bo, Rex, Clint and Todd to finally make August be the sizzling month! Woot! Woot! Woot!

    Side note, China Lake, my sister informs me that my first street was Burnside, not Latchford (that was the 2nd), so my Porn Name now becomes Arrow Burnside - which is even BETTER! Yes! LOL

    Gotta run, been waiting 45 minutes for my darn cheeseburger here at Rodi's - major fail - the owner really needs some good help. Maybe I'll cancel and go to the Bonjour - at least I saw waitresses

    PS. Be warned. Today you get to see NQS nekked in "Hold the Diploma" with Dayt-en. UGH.


  6. Shucks, I thought today was Friday, so my info is a little off. BTW, loved how Roxy really admired Christian Vega's Manicure work (that new girl's really good!) Too funny. :)

  7. @Young Boots May I just say I peed on my damn self with "aka young boots!!!!" I LOVE THIS! May I call you that? OMG we could have drinks together and gush over our McBain crush and his saving RH! Totally agree with you that it was unexpected but loving this! Eh...sadly, I think it may be too much to hope for with Blair. I find that very sad because she used to be a good character. The teen scene reeks of horse shit and I'm so tired of seeing them I could scream. Agree with your assessment of Dorian's premiere. However, I wish that Bo, Nora, Clint and Victoria would be present. I love ALL the vets in one room. Hell, let's throw Echo in there, too. Agree with FINALLY moving along with RH. Pray it doesn't become stagnant...or stupid for that matter. I can look past the beard and just at his body so he can keep the beard for now. Oh, I need Natty and Blair to stop yesterday. K, thanks. OMG I FLOVE "Young Boots." AH!

    @Richmond Chandler Ummmm so you kinda made my day with the " At least we've got us some good Vicky - and trust me, there's going to be a lot of Vicky, Nora, Bo, Rex, Clint and Todd to finally make August be the sizzling month! Woot! Woot! Woot!" PRAYING!!! Please tell me you're right and my dreams are coming true! OMG...RH's McBain impression...cannot deal. Too hilar! Aaaand I just peed on my damn self. You are at Rodi's hanging out waiting on your burger?! Hopefully you drank some Hounds while you waited. yes! The Bonjour has waitresses...whether they are good or not is another story. Thanks for the NQS warning. I think we see more of that today? OMG...yes Roxy's admiration of Christian's work...fabu. Poor purpose on the show so he is doing nails. Mercy! ;)