Sunday, July 17, 2011

It's About Time You Showed Up

RH: "I assure you that you are without a doubt the coolest character on this show. It is beyond wrong that I get paid a shit-ton of money and I don't even talk yet you get paid nothing. I'll work on getting you a higher salary if you work on your stupid mother and your aunt, the mayor, to get a security system for LaBoulaie. Deal?"

How are y'all doing?! I've had quite the busy weekend. May I just say we had a block party yesterday and last night and so fun. Been busy today doing wedding stuff. So happy to blog about Friday's show since it was leaps and bounds better than Thursday...and Wednesday. Lordy. Ok I'll respond to comments hopefully in the morning, but if not a.m. then afternoon. Oh, and rac...I asked Ross about the swamp tour thing and he told me one so I'll tell you tomorrow, dear. Well then...

Friday, July 15th--It Took a Damn Superhero (more like Vicki and Dorian) to FINALLY Have a Good Episode This Week!!!
1. I need a crazed lunatic, serial killer, psychopath, pizza delivery just see NuJack outside of Todd's and kill him. Like right now. He hasn't said a word yet and I want to dispose of him. Also, I was confused the other day but thanks to NuJack it has now been verified that Carla DOES still work for Dorian since she [Carla] dropped NuJack off at Todd's.
2. WORD!!!!! Dorian and Echo...these will be spectacular scenes, no doubt.
3. I also lurve some David/Vicki foolishness. David: "Of course you. Did you forget that I pretended to be your brother circa '94?" LOL!!!! Lurve it. Ugh...but now I'm sad because the show was sooooooo much better in 1994! Whannnnnn! Too sad to discuss. Why did you bring up such a good year, David?! Why?!
4. Aaaaaand, poor Sam's party looks boring as hell!!!! Everybody looks like they are in a trance! And, that music playing?! It is dripping in shit sauce!!!! My God it's a 7 year old's bday party!! Ugh...I wouldn't be surprised if the music selection was from Baz and Starr since they both suck more than call girls in Washington D.C. It would just be fitting if those two picked out the music. Tea is the only one who seems interested...
5. I REFUSE to let Mes ruin this blog. God...Mes, Dayt-en AND NQS all at the same location.
6. Toad: "It's about time you showed up." My God! Truer words have never been spoken. RH needs to meet you and everyone else in the damn town! UGH! This storyline is slower than waiting at the DMV!!!!!!! And that is hella slow...
7. REALLY?!?! I have to be subjected this shit. "What happens at the Minuteman stays at the Minuteman." Just effing kill me. Oh, and I need Mes to start choking on food right about now....FYI. Christmas in July, bitches! PLEASE!!!!!
8. Echo just said she found a DVD of David's audition reel in her room at the Buchanan mansion. I wish she would have found the DVD where Marko and Ford helped David tape the Buchanan documentary....LURVED it! That was so hilarious. ;)
9. HOLD THE PHONE!!! A Tina Lord reference!? Good God please tell me they will bring her back for a bit. But...only Andrea Evans' Tina! Ugh...but she is at Bold and Beautiful now. Boo. Anyway, I will be hopeful. I would lurve some Tina/Vicki goodness. Peeing...Vicki said "Tina has no radar." I love it. OMG and then David said Clint was dying but did have a cell phone and a very scary contact list. Hilar.
10. May I just throw it out there that I am hella shocked that Mes doesn't have the PINK preg test with her at the f*@king table at the Buenos Dias?! Even after the bitch peed on it...she is so effing gross I'm surprised she didn't just lay the damn stick on the table. UGH. She is so effing obnoxious.
11. Sam...coolest small child on television. Oh, and in case y'all forgot...Blair is a terrible mother and only thinks with her coo-nacha.
12. John McBain has some GOOD hair. He could have been a Breck girl back in the day...or a model for Prell. Nowadays maybe Pantene? Who wouldn't want such a mane? Any man in his right mind. ;) I haven't discussed Natty yet. I will don't worry....
13. I'd just like to know how RH is breathing in that damn outfit. There is no nostril outlet. This is really bothering me. I will say that this whole Todd/Todd thing is finally starting to interest me...but just a little. I'm not fully interested yet...
14. Seriously, I need Baz, NuJack, NQS, James, Dayt-en, and last but not least, Mes, cleared out IMMEDIATELY!!! I mean...I get worked up watching this shit show when they are all in scenes. I'm ok with Matthew, Dan-YELLA, and out of guilt I'll say Starr since I feel obligated to say she should be kept. But, let's face it this show is ruining her character. No, they already have. Damn shame. Ok I'll stop...
15. This whole thing with Mes calling Dan-YELLA and then not telling her the reason why she f*@king called and then poor Dan-YELLA leaving the party to go see Mes....STUPID! I want to beat the shit out of Mes.
16. I effing LURVE this Vicki/David nonsense. Shit like this brightens my day...or night. I love that Vicki said "lash out." I say that constantly...usually about my dog "lashing out."
17. Oh happy day...Robin Strasser just said "slut." I need "bitch" by the end of this episode, too. Thanks, RS! You make me smile. xx, ME
18. Minority opinion with the Jolie crew: These John/Natty scenes are boring as hell. Sorry...they just are. I think if John's silky hair started taking on a life of its own and began talking then the scenes would get interesting. Or, John could always ask Natalie to play darts. Instant party.
19. Tea's reaction to the dead body at LaBoulaie's pool is the ONLY one thus far that has been normal! Jesus H. Christ! No one seems to care about it or think it is weird in the slightest...mercy!
20. Well, I just peed all over myself and must go change. David: "What about Addie?!" LOL! What about her, David? That bitch has been babysitting Hope and all the other Llanview tots with Renee Divine. They play cards...Renee drinks bourbon...they watch kids in attic. She doesn't have time (or the brains) to plot against you. Word. So Vicki can figure out that someone is not really trying to hurt David but is really trying to hurt Dorian yet she can't come to the conclusion that it is time she install a security system at Llanfair?! ha! Vickster, I love you but come on...
21. These Echo/Dorian scenes are THAT good. No words necessary. Seriously. They are both uber fabu.
22. Mes, I'm assuming that coke you are having is caffeine-free? Whore. And, please tell Dan-YELLA that truth or I will beat you with a spatula from the Buenos Dias!!!!
23. Rick is quite something. Those pennants! "Ball U." "I.F.U." "A.S.S." Very porn-like. He cares about the setting. Very thoughtful director that Rick. Attention to detail. Can't find that with everyone these days...
24. Natty: "Well I only learned basic decryption. Although I can give it a try. It would be nice if my boss would spring for me to go to Quantico, because I could probably crack this in a day." MY ASS!!!!! Just hush it.
25. SAM IS TOO DAMN PRESH!!!! Please come to my house and be my friend! We will bake cookies and what not! Oh, and I think RH taking pics with everyone was creepy. I really do. I mean...I liked it, but I thought it was somewhat chilling. Given the history and all. Now I just need this story to keep fast pace. K, thanks.
26. Ok so when Tea told Toad: "You're not gonna lose us." I kinda got upset. I mean...I have always considered RH the real Todd but now that I know TSJ is leaving I found that sad. Plus, I don't want Tea to get some big middle finger. =( That was odd...I'm surprised I feel this way.
27. MESTINY YOU DUMB DUCK! Effing tell, Dan-YELLA about NQS and Cleveland or whatever the hell her name is...UGH!
28. You know you would think that after finding a dead man on Mayor Vickers-Buchanan's property that security would have been a little more stringent but they let Echo walk right in...lameasses. On another note, I lurve that Queen V and Dorian figured out Echo was behind this Ionia shit...holy hell am I glad that bitch isn't on our screen anymore.
29. Aaaaand Dorian just spout off French and then said "You conniving whore." I'm content for the evening. Snap! She just said "bitch" and now there is a waterhose? I'm as happy as a pig in shit....
30. I'd like to be called "China Lake" from here on out. I see a lot of $$$$ in my future. I HATE NQS! HE IS SUCH A FAILURE!!!!!!!
31. I'd rather read "Moby Dick" than watch these John/Natty scenes this evening...
32. RH spoke actual words at the party?! I damn near fell out from shock just now...
33.'s now nighttime on this very last segment. Hmmm so the sun set in Llanview during the last commercial break. Very nice. I mean...sometimes days last for WEEKS but it becomes evening almost instantly. Pennsylvania is an interesting place...
34. I'm sorry but I wouldn't have left Sam ALONE with some creepy guy you don't know that you hired to be Superman but this guy has been weird the whole party and won't say anything. I'll blame Blair since that is the easy way out...
35. Little Sam is just too young to be subjected to the Herpes Hangout. UGH.

Okie dokie...I'm EXHAUSTED! I'll reply to comments tomorrow. See y'all then!

China Lake
(Coming soon to "adult" DVD)


  1. LOL Mija, Very Good Blogging !!!
    All we can do is wonder where this will all go now, its frustrating to know this is "the end of days" for OLTL and they are wasting time on all this needless garbage....if TPTB are reading this, Hey Y'all, step on it ! Get rid of the trashy writing and down to the brass tacks !!!!UGH...enough with the teens, either SORAS them into adults with lives, or skip it !!!!! I sooo look forward to watching every day but sometimes in a whole week there is only one episode worth watching ! Kindly tell us which day that would be or get crackin' !!! LMAO !

  2. Hey ME,
    You totally explained how I felt when RH was taking pictures with everybody, it was really weird, but I kind of liked it...But that was definitely a parenting fail, I get nervous when people I know are around my nieces and this is a complete stranger, you leave with your kid...WOW!

    The Dorian\Echo scenes were hilarious and great...I don't know why I kept laughing when Echo kept running her foot through the water, but it made me laugh.

    It seems to me that Day-ten really wants to have sex with NQS and she is using this whole mom thing as an excuse...I know you could care less about that storyline but thats just my two cents...

    I know this is kind of a couple episodes late, but RH said he was going to "take care" of the body, he really thought that was lazily hiding it behind a bush in the place he killed the body at? Un-freakin-believable!

  3. @krisi Why thank you m'am! I try my hardest each time to make it halfway interesting! I'm so damn frustrated with the show. Best vets on television and we are getting a shit-ton of teens shoved down our damn throats. Over half of them need to be cut and we need to see the REAL people of OLTL. UGH. Totally agree about how sometimes there is only one damn show that is enjoyable for the week. Makes it soooo difficult to have motivation to blog! xoxo

    @yosammity Yes! The RH taking pics stuff WAS a bit weird/creepy/eerie. I kinda liked it? Yes. OMG....MOMUMENTAL parenting fail. I just want to effing choke Blair like last year...literally. OMG...I kept laughing when Echo continuously ran her foot through the water. I just knew she was going to fall in. Lord. You're right...Dayt-en does want to have sex with NQS and vice versa. Ugh. LOL..."take care" of the body. Llanview and random bodies go hand in hand nowadays. It is quite common to just find a body in your yard. no biggie! ;)