Dan-YELLA: "Nate you said you were circumcised! How could you do this to me?!"
Morning and yay...it's flippin' Friday! I am pressed for time (again) because Ross hogged the computer to check the stock market news...plus we have been watching CNBC. Woofy. So, I believe we get some porn action on Thursday's show? Yes? No? Let's see. Probably going to do a Marty Saybrooke-esque drive-by post this morning since I'm running uber late. Sorry...Friday's will be a full one, darlings.
Thursday, July 28th--Marty's Thoughts (she got a private screening of "Hold the Diploma" so she can discuss the show today)
1. F*@K...Blanca in the first scene. She is so obnoxious. Peeing...she just said "Dorian Cramer Lord Vickers Buchanan." LOVE.THIS. LOVE IT!
2. OMIGOD...make it go away! Starr's dress is all ate up with ATROSH! That dress looks cheap and throw that choker in there and it looks like something I wore in my elementary days in the '90's. Just.No. Aaaaaand of course James isn't going to the premiere. I'm so sick of this Baz/Starr shit. Whoa...Markko (sp?) looks 1,000 times better than when he left Llanivew.
3. Tea and Dan-YELLA are cute together. Their little banter about Tea getting her hair-did was pretty presh. They are totally believable as mother and daughter. Oh snap..."mijita?" I love this even more than "mija!" Fun fact of the day--"mijita" translates to "sweetheart." I've done my job for this morning in the new knowledge department. I'm going by "mijita" now...
4. Is anyone else peeing on themselves with RH's McBain impression...HILAR.
5. PEEING....Todd: "What are you doing in my office?" McBain: "Does there have to be a reason? I just missed you." I don't know which writer is doing all the lines for McBain but I want to buy them a drink. Thank you for these small bursts of joy you have given me this week...thank you...whoever you are.
6. Can't effing deal with Rex at the Buch Mansion. I flippin' need the Silver Fox there like right now. He doesn't look right.
7. Ah...I hate that Ross is missing Rick! Dammit to hell.
8. This movie premiere would be so much better if Pa and Step-Nora were there...whann. Wait...where is Vickster? Hmmm...oh, and I like Blanca's dress. My one compliment.
9. Dorian said she is wearing "Gammie." Clever...that is the name of the head of the OLTL wardrobe department.
10. Just perfect...NuJack. At least today is Friday so hopefully I can deal with this douche and his awkward acting skills.
11. Sonofabitch...cannot deal with Starr's necklace and dress. I mean...I am taking this very personally.
12. Dorian said "bitch" and "ass" in one scene. Le sigh. I am content at the moment.
13. That baby bump on Rama...no words. No time to discuss that foolishness...
14. Damn...I can't lie I'd do Blair. I'd say she looks angelic in white, but I can't since I think she is the queen of leg-spreading. However, she does look like sex on a stick.
15. I just want to go to McBain's and hang out with this duo and drink Hounds. I can only imagine how awesome it would be. I think I'd whisper the whole time so I could fit in...
16. How is it 10 after 7?! UGH....I have to hurry. So just random snippets...
17. Blair and Tomas do look rather dashing together. Can't lie. Starr and Baz look like smashed ass...word.
18. Rex continues to piss me off.
19. Tea and Dan-YELLA look uber presh. Blanca asked Dan-YELLA about her conception? Ugh...awkward. LOL...Toad called her Blank-ah. I love it.
20. Ah...so Toad doesn't recognize the earrings that "Todd" gave her. Red flag...
21. Langston's a hot commodity, Starr? REALLY? You idiot. Explode. It's not like Hope even knows who you are either. Addie will just be her mother from here on out...
22. "These weiners are getting cold." Ah...I lurve Dorian. Don't worry...you will be seeing a hot weiner in a few minutes. Don't fret.
23. LOVE that Blair's being portrayed by an Asian-American actress. Homage to old school OLTL...
24. Thank God for small favors. At least that pic of Gigi is off the mantle. That was such a middle finger to us all.
25. Aaaaand, RH remembers the earrings. Soooo is he the real Todd? I still don't flippin' know.
26. I miss Nigel and need him back at the Buch Mansion when Clint takes over again. Aaaand, Rex has a gun.
27. I'm sorry but I did pee a bit when Dan-YELLA told Nate "Someday that's gonna be you up there."
28. I love that Harrison Ford is playing Bo Buchanan. OMG...Mel Gibson as Clint. This is so silly but I love it.
29. PEEING!!!! I hate NQS and Co. but I am laughing at this porn stuff. The music is spot on. When he walked in and said "I heard you were failing sex ed." OMG...no words. I was DYING! This is BEYOND awkward!!! BEYOND!
Ah...must run quickly! My stylist is here. Ciao bellas!
Love y'all and mean it,