Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Yearbook Editor

Dear ole Aubs is dodging some serious bullets. Good thing Cutter was obviously the yearbook editor in high school...ZING!

Ok, so how in the world did Aubrey get the name Aubrey Wentworth? Did she just pick up the yearbook and close her eyes and land on this girl??? I am somewhat confused. "Don't call Joey stupid! He is a smart guy that just didn't planned to get played by someone so...skilled." OMG...he's not stupid?! REALLY? This is horse shit. Thank you OLTL for not letting Aubrey show Cutter her "skills" like he wanted her to. Like I've yapped about for years it feels, I've had enough of their hit it and run sessions. But now I don't even want them referencing sex...I'm over these two together. OH...and can we all come to the conclusion that the notion that Aubrey really packed ALL THESE DAMN CLOTHES and brought them from Europe to Llanview is just absurd?! ABSURD, people. She has a more vast and vibrant wardrobe than the rest of the cast. Egregious, I say! They make poor Tea wear a pirate shirt the other day but let a newbie like Aubrey wear couture. Poo on that.

Ok, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I am pretty sure that there is not a snowball's chance in hell that Cutter changed that yearbook photo and magically bound that page back in the book, etc. Sure, if he went to LU and did it in their yearbook room or something but...out of his hotel room at The Palace?! PUH-LEEZE!!! That was just dumb.

Dammit to hell! Gigi is on...UGH! I knew I was going to have to see her and that Davy Crockett raccoon hat hairdo tomorrow for the bachelorette party and for the wedding on Friday but today??? Normally I have to mentally prepare myself when I know that her or Langston will be on but today was a surprise attack...touche' writers, touche'. I was fooled.

If Jessica and Natalie had any sense then they should know better than to let Gigi and her plaid shirts from Forever 21 pick out the wedding dresses. Jessica's room is like yellow overload. Like a cat urinated all over it. Seriously, her room is incredibly bright and yellow! I know that I have done nothing but complain but it's also atrocious that Nat and Jess have their flawless figures back...just like that! Hello people! Jessica had a flippin' C-section!!!! A C-section! As if she has recovered by now...geez. I actually liked one of the dresses Natalie tried on but didn't go with...boo. But I have seen the wedding photos and, of course, the Buch twins look beautiful. No surprise there, though.

OMG...my eyes are burning!!!! The damn gym!!!! It is heinous and such an eye sore and no one actually works out there! People just aimlessly wander and lift one pound weights. Not to mention, the wood paneling is atrocious! Please OLTL never ever show the gym again! I'm begging you! Substitute a scene with Langston or Gigi but please never show this gym again. SERIOUSLY! That's how bad the gym is...

I can't believe this but I feel sorry for Vimal. I do. That being said, I effin' love Clint...more and more each day. What an evil bastard this man is. I'm telling you, Rama is gonna go ape shit at this wedding. She is such a breath of fresh air on this show. OH REALLY?! She was at the gym, too? So everyone has a membership at Serenity Springs?! My ass. This gym needs to just blow up! I'm so over it.

Man...John and Brody are just gonna end up having a bad week. So, they find out their father in law is an effin monster and then their wedding is going to turn into some crazy ass circus (think Lifetime movies). Wait, scratch that. Brody...you deserve for John to be pissed at you since you and Natalie are being ass clowns (my word of the week I guess). HOWEVER....Lord knows you don't deserve for the father of Jessica's baby to be a shitty filmmaker at LU. Boo on that. Hell, John is the real victim in all this mess....and Jessica. I do love how these men just don't even question Bo and believe him. That says a lot about what kind of a great guy Bo is...le sigh.

Poor Bo. He can't seem to catch a break with this Clint shit. Official: Mr. Black and Mr. Blue...worst actors ever. They just pulled two random joes off the street and said "hey come act like a goon on tv and get paid."

OH SNAP!!!!!! Gonna record Aubs and Cutter doin the nasty through the air conditioner! Clint is an effin' genius. At least he will get to see porn...God knows he isn't getting any action. Eh hem.

Joey is en effing gopher. Worst reaction ever at the gym when he found out Kelly still loves him. That's all I got, people. Douchebag.

Oh, and there is a rumor that Alex Olanov maybe Aubrey's mother...not confirmed but that's the word on the street.

OK, so I'm super pumped about the show today and OF COURSE it will be preempted today because we had a damn blizzard in Chicago. Sooooo that means I'll have to watch tonight on Soapnet.

Oh, and I am assuming that Matthew and Destiny are still kissing in the doorway of the garret? That is one long kiss yo?

If Nora isn't on today I think I'm gonna lose it...

xoxo darlings and those of you getting the snow...STAY WARM!

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