Thursday, February 3, 2011

Marty Saybrooke's Getting Better...

This sweet moment between the Buch twins is probably about to be one of the last for awhile...because Natalie is a dirty muskrat.

Ok, so let's just look past the fact that it is completely and totally unrealistic for Jessica and Natalie to look THIS good after having kids let alone to have Jessica galavanting all over Llanfair with the greatest of ease after a C-section. Let's be serious. Obviously, all viewers are gullible idiots in the writers' minds. I'm not asking for them to be propped up in bed all day but come on...they could have some extra pounds or at least be walking a little slower. This is crap. Don't even get me started on everything for the wedding being on time. That is a miracle and I'm pretty sure that Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and her red shoes couldn't couldn't magically whip up a nice wedding THAT fast with all the dresses, flowers, tuxes, etc.

I love that Jessica told Natalie that they had those bad dreams because they are just "having butterflies" about the wedding and there is a framed picture of 3 big ass butterflies behind her head...weird. Natalie's face has that....let me see...that "I haven't pooped for days and I feel uncomfortable" look. Ok...those girls look pretty damn adorabs in those pastel p.j.'s. I can't lie. OMG...this exchanging of the something borrowed, something blue stuff is making me sad. It's so sweet. =) Whannn. Damn you OLTL. The Buch twins are affecting me and this has NEVER happened...ah!

I always wonder about the slot machine in John's apartment. Does he use it? Man...John is just turning into this great guy and I'm gonna feel pretty damn bad for him once all this blows up. I mean, he feels bad about keeping the Clint thing from Nat and effin Natalie has been lying for an eternity about everything...dummy. He is also about to get effed over by Mr. Navy Seal. Oy Vey!

LOL...Robert Ford in the bed with Jessica! I loved it. OMG and Marty walking in on John and Natalie...great! I need OLTL to have these "dreams" all the time. They make for good entertainment. Oooooohhhhh...flashback. These dreams are almost as good as when Nora was Lindsay's "conscience" during the syringe/mind erasing drug/Colin McIver fiasco...OMG those were hilarious. Y'all should look it up on youtube if you haven't seen it.

It's bad enough that I haven't left my apartment since Tuesday afternoon (omg cabin fever) thanks to this blizzard in Chicago, but then I get shit on even more when I see Langston...le' barf. Oh well...she and Ford weren't too sickening. I'm starting to like Robert Ford for some reason (Yes...despite the fact he basically raped Jessica but besides that...). BUT...this whole James staring lovingly at the bullet necklace shit has GOT TO STOP! AH! Take this madness off my screen! Then it gets even worse because Langston and Starr have the SAME EXACT conversation for the 3,586th time (Yes, I've counted people. That's the exact number.) about her feelings for James and how/why she can't leave Cole...who gives a damn!? On a positive note, at least this may be the last time for awhile. Oh, and I absolutely adore Starr's coat. It's flippin precious. We know Starr gives Cole the middle finger and leaves him to hang at Statesville and she and James get together. Oh, and this Michelle chick? WTF. I got nothin'. She is waste. Nice, but a waste. Wait! Did Michelle just say "yes" as in let's have sex? Ok...we can obviously retract my abstinence club statements from a few posts ago. What a sneaky little beaver...haha beaver. My mind is in the gutter! Ah...

Man...I think Joey is soooo adorable and then I realize he is an imbecile and I get so upset. Ya know...if Kelly had sex with him would that be statutory rape? I mean Joey has the MIND of a minor. So that means Aubrey is committing a criminal offense too (one of many). Hmmm. I'd kill to look like Kelly Cramer in the morning...fact. I just...ugh...I don't know how I feel about these Joey and Kelly scenes. Maybe because I always want her with Kevin? I don't know what it is. Or maybe it's because Kelly has had bad chemistry with so many men on the show that I just can't get behind this Joe/Kelly thing. Hmmm.

This camera in the AC thing is just brilliant. I love it. OMG...Clint is on today?! What a lovely, lovely surprise. This ALMOST makes up for the shiteous Langston and Starr scenes. Almost. that Mr. Black or Mr. Blue? Why can't I tell these bastards apart? It's not like they are twins. Maybe their names are similar and I am just confused? Maybe I've been in this apartment too long? OF COURSE...Aubs and Cutter are gonna roll around on the couch...damn. The ONLY reason I'm ok with this is 1.) Clint will have proof of them not being siblings and that they like to screw. 2.) This means everyone else will know and Joey will possibly regain a brain once he realizes he has been duped. 3.) Clint needs to watch someone getting it on because God knows he hasn't had any action in awhile (I mean, he's only human). Everyone wins with this secret recording. I'd be shitting bricks if I were Aubs and Cutter...

I've never heard a sweeter phrase in all my life: "Marty Saybrooke's Getting Better." Wooooo hooooo!!!!!!!! That's right Natalie! You made your slutty bed now lie in it. Technically, it wasn't too slutty of you but you just lied for months. I can't condone that though. haha...Natalie's like but she's in St. Anne's she can't escape. OH REALLY?! Since no one in Llanview has ever escaped St. Anne's...hahahaha! Nice. Seriously, I mean you wait on the day of the wedding to want to come clean? Bitches, please.

OMG OMG OMG...please let it be Marty at John's door....AH! IT IS! My heart is skipping a beat.

Matthew and Destiny ARE STILL kissing in the doorway of the garret. #WorldRecord

Stay warm peeps!


  1. The whole pregnancy story thing is too silly even for a soap opera. Wasn't it just this Xmas that Natalie slept with Brody, that one night? Am I not remembering it right? That's possible. But I have never heard of a human baby being created and then popped out 2 months later.

    My sister has had 4 C sections and 4 kids. Not even the first C section left her with the ability to sit up in bed until a day or so later. Then there was the lovely drainage issue where the wound was healing. For Jessica to be in a wedding dress all daisies and light this soon is too much.

    I'd like to order a soap opera baby. Just send it over in a pretty box and I'll hatch it out like an egg. Isn't that what they do?

  2. PS- Natalie is not an evil witch. John is just an idiot. I want Natalie to find a real man, not a mopey thinker. I want Jessica to become a real person again, not a bubble head. At least they are finally giving Blair a new guy who might turn out to be decent and a match for her. I won't hold my breath on it though.

  3. haha! Yes, I'd like a soap opera baby too! I was wondering if Jessica's baby was indeed Bree Williamson's newborn? I wasn't sure. Those babies are huge.

    You're right. Natalie is not an evil witch. I'm just over this whole lying bit. I for one am not the biggest Jolie pairing but, for some reason, there appear to be a lot of fans out there that like John with Natalie.

    Hope you enjoy the blog!

  4. I liked your Blog so much that I am now reading previous posts ! Thanks !! Krisi

  5. haha! Glad you like it. January and February are better, in my opinion, because I finally started getting the hang of all this posting. And, I took a break from it in December but found out that people were starting to catch on and read it (cause I don't advertise) so I had to start it up again. Now I love it! I just hope some people don't take my posts too seriously...scared they might! ;)