Thursday, February 10, 2011
Back in the Day
Holy hell...someone just shoot me. Immediately. Nate, Ford, and James...AND Langston AND Starr AND Dan-yella. Good God almighty. It is gonna take a lot for me to get through this episode today. I can handle this episode for the following reasons:
1.) Yesterday's episode was the epitome of awesomeness. Thumbs up.
2.) I was already prepared for a shitty episode today thanks to the lame previews for today (and the craptastic "sneak peek" online for today's show).
3.) I took 3 Advil about an hour ago to handle the impending headache.
I don't want to hear the Fords discuss virginity and sex. I wouldn't feel this way if it was somebody else but my biggest issue with this is that Nate is discussing having sex with Dan-yella and that gives me the creeps because he is like 25 and she is 16 (in real life). Now...if they were each 10 years older then the age difference wouldn't be as bad...but NOT at this stage in the game. Grrr. I refuse to discuss these scenes further because I might go into the kitchen right now and attempt to slit my wrists with a butter knife.
All good things must come to an end. So, it pains me to say (not really) that I cannot show leniency regarding these Lang and Starr scenes. I was soooooo close to throwing my high heel at the tv, but I paid a lot of money for this huge flat screen. So, my good judgment is still intact despite the fact my brain most definitely lost some intelligence by watching these utterly horrifying scenes. I just keep reminding myself that not all days can be like yesterday...le' sigh. God...how awesome would it be if EVERYDAY was like yesterday? Wishful thinking but still...
Jessica can't catch an effing break. Can you imagine all this on your wedding day?! "Oh hey Jess, before you tie the knot you need to know that you practically got raped by a guy that is now a hot dog and turns out he is the father of your kid. P.S. your husband-to-be drunkenly effed your sister. Peace out. I'm surprised Jessica pieced together all the Natalie and I might have conceived on the same day business. Despite having a ton of shit dropped on her today, she is acting somewhat coherent...surprisingly. Credit where credit is due, Bree Williamson's reactions are spot on!!! OMG...the more full-length views of her dress I see the more I loathe it. Please just show waist up shots...please! Obviously someone who is blind and below the age of 5 or something like that sewed together the dress from the waist down. If a designer or seamstress made that shit, then they should just go jump off a cliff because no one will hire them after this.
LOL...John: "How does Marty fit into all of this?" God...more like why isn't Marty here to tell me all this!? At least that was what I was hoping...just kidding. But I can't lie, I miss her psychotic ass. Wait...shut the front door! Was that what I think it was?! Did I see John McBain tear up? I think I saw a little moisture in those eyes. OMG...sure enough...it is!!! He was crying!!! Despite my anger towards the dirty hamster, you have to say that Melissa Archer is a phenomenal actress. Michael Easton is killng it, too! These scenes are so badass! Nice comparison: Clint and Natalie trying to control everything and play God. Man, I never thought to compare the two. Hmmm. Excellent point, John McBain: Chief of Detectives. I am going to hold off on discussing whether I think that Natalie's baby is indeed John's. Right now, I just can't wrap my mind around all of this but I know there has to be more to it than "it's Brody's baby...that's it." This is a soap opera after all. I'll discuss this more next week. I didn't get too much sleep last night, so I think discussing it now would not be wise.
HERE IS MY REAL PROBLEM WITH TODAY: I'm fed up with this nonsense. Ah! OMG OMG OMG.
Dear Writers, PLEASE for the love of God start writing intelligently for Kelly and Joey!!!! These are two legacy characters that look like FOOLS!!! Kelly has been on the show for months and they make her look like a douche constantly. Poor Joey has been on for a fraction of the time Kelly has and he looks even more pitiful. Please fix this. kisses, Mary-Ella.
UGH!!!!!! Obviously, you can tell how frustrated I am by my picture. My God, Joey and Kelly used to be fantastic. I just need to go on and get over this and do it quickly because I'm beginning to vomit all over this column about how bad Joey is...and Kelly. Anyway, I was prepared for these scenes because of the spoilers but it is still so painful to watch. The Joey/Aubs wedding will no doubt make me physically ill I'm sure. For people who think I'm being dramatic, I understand but I know a lot of people feel the way I do if you know just how truly awesome these two people used to be. I'm just sad. :(
Cutter: "If this is how Llanview does weddings...I don't want to see a funeral. Sorry I tend to make jokes in socially awkward situations." haha...funerals ARE bad in Llanview. Let me see...God, poor Jared's funeral was a nightmare. Mitch Lawrence jumping out of his casket was bizarre and unrealistic. On a positive note, I loved Natalie at that point on the show. Before that, years ago you had Nora's funeral when she was "dead" after the trainwreck and R.J. and Bo got into a huge fight. Lord, that funeral was even televised in Llanview and Nora was watching it on tv from her bed at Cherryvale. Yikes! God, I got way off topic. Anyway, there is no way Cutter saved their asses with the jump drive. No way. Then again, this technologically savvy guy is also the one who "fixed" the yearbook, remember? My ass...
Whoa...Tea just said she pre-ordered the sesame crusted tuna on her RSVP for Jessica and Natalie's wedding. An RSVP...really?! Really show?! Ummmm...there is no way in hell that happened. Oh what am I talking about...there is no way the invitations got printed that quickly and sent out. So there sure as hell wasn't enough time for these mo fo's to send back RSVPs. Over the top, OLTL. I'd like to thank Todd Manning's twisted wit for making me smile. His disturbing jokes were the comedic relief I needed to counterbalance the atrocious teen scenes today. And this is saying a lot because for the most part I think Todd, Tea and Dan-yella together are all boring...at least lately. Todd and Tea alone...I'm fine with watching. I want to see more spunk in Todd and Tea's relationship. WHOA! Wait...who called Todd?!?!?! WTF. That was getting interesting...ugh! Of course, the show will be over.
Can I just say that the sanctuary at St. James looks like a homeless shelter compared to the side rooms!!! OMG...those little rooms that Nat/John and Jess/Brody are in are soooo nice and decorated quite tastefully. I noticed this back in June for Bo and Nora's wedding but I wasn't blogging then and I just had to point it out now. If I were these people, I'd request to get married in one of those rooms and not the actual sanctuary...for sure!
OMG...if that is really Clint or Cutter's handwriting in that note to Kelly then he and my second grade teacher have the exact same print.
Ummm....paging Matthew Buchanan. *crickets*
The flan at the Buenos Dias must be THAT good. For years, all I've seen is everyone eating and talking about it. Hmmm...
The Nat/Jess scenes are going to be sooooo effing good!!! I cannot wait!!!
I don't know if I'm going to post tomorrow since it is a rerun episode from '95. However, I'm forever thankful that it isn't some random, terrible 2006 episode (OMG such an awful time during the show...UGH) and that they chose to show a real "classic" episode. I may post just because this was such a GREAT period of time of OLTL.
Hope everyone has a lovely rest of the day!!!