Food for Thought

Jessica: "You mean to tell me that Ryder's real father is a hot dog? This is so embarrassing, Daddy."

Hot damn! I was physically nervous today watching the show. I literally was gripping my hands so tight that I made half-moon indentations on my palms. The big reveal was made and the fallout was nothing less than stellar...let's go.

OMG...poor Jessica and Brody. Ok, so let's see: Vimal flipped a coin and picked Jessica's and switched it to say Brody. So does that mean Nat's kid is really Brody's? It appears that way but I wonder...Marty did go into the DNA lab and I'm curious if she changed it. This is far fectched but it's a thought. I love it. Jessica: "Mom it had to have been mine....Natalie didn't have a paternity test!" Good God. Now everyone, including Clint, is like "oh shit." Anyway, poor thing. Sidenote: Bree Williamson can cry on cue and her tears are HUGE! Good girl and great acting. The Brody and Jessica discussion was awesome (once I rewatched them because I was staring at her boobs too much the first go round), and I totally understand Brody's reasoning for not wanting to go ahead and marry Jessica. He thinks all of this is happening because of his own lying about sleeping with Natalie. He now believes he is being punished. I do the same thing so his reaction was spot on, in my opinion. Rumor is that Brody goes off the deep-end from all this fallout (good God...AND Tess...they did indeed meet at St. Anne's, yo?) and maybe he leaves the show...who knows. But, I saw the Tess trying to jump out of Jess when Brody dropped the "I slept with Natalie" bombshell. Not to mention Jess is trying to cope with the fact that Ryder's father is of the wiener-schnitzel variety. I can't wait to see the rest.

Maybe I literally have ice running through my veins thanks to the Siberian tundra-like conditions in Chicago right now, but I do NOT feel sorry for Natalie. AT ALL. Zero...Nada...None. I just can't. Poor John. Lord, this dirty little hamster STILL tried to lie to John when confronted! This is just so effing dumb. Natalie you are cornered...give it up. When John screamed "Stop lying to me", I was like "OMG I've been yelling this at the effing tv to Natalie...for months...months!" She deserves this fallout, I'm sorry. And, I genuinely liked Natalie before all this mess but her lies have just spiraled out of control and I'm over them...and over her for the time being. I'm perfectly fine with John leaving her after all this shit. I'd also LOVE a Marty/Natalie confrontation soon...awesome town. John and Natalie scenes def delivered...for shizzle.

Clint has become one mean sonofabitch. Just when I think his heart can't get any more black, it does...at least what little heart he has left. I think he is finally realizing that his actions have only hurt the ones he tried so hard to protect but I still believe that he thinks he did the right thing...with everything. He really was trying to justify his actions but I just don't think it's going to fly. Supposedly, we are gonna get to see the Buchanans having to take sides between Bo and Clint...should be delicious. Oh...and WTF is up with Clint's super creepy bloodshot eye?!

Oh, Nora spoke more than three words today...nice. God, I just love Bo and I love that he was thinking of every reason to arrest Clint but he was saying the wrong things. Like, you broke into the lab...LOL. He didn't, but Bo could arrest Clint for conspiracy. Hell, maybe an accessory before the fact but that's it. Otherwise they don't have probable cause to arrest at the moment for any of his other crimes. Nora should have just flat out used the conspiracy card in regards to getting Vimal to break into the lab. Oh, and I wasn't expecting for Bo to actually arrest Clint. I hadn't read it anywhere. I'd love to see some scenes with Rama/Vimal and Bo/Nora/Clint at the police station tomorrow but I doubt we will. I'm ok with this only because I get to see Bo and Nora just being their awesome selves on Friday during the 1995 episode. Oh, and Asa, Alex and Susannah...oh my! Excitement Excitement! :)

I can't believe I'm saying this but the Ford and Lang scenes did not make me physically ill. I'm shocked as hell myself, but it's true. Like, my lunch stayed in my stomach...unbelievable. Fact: Miracles happen...for all you non-believers. Oh, hey Hope! Nice to see you. OF COURSE, your mother isn't around. It's not like mothers are supposed to care for their children so it's perfectly understandable she would be with Lang, the new babysitter. UGH. Starr is NEVER with Hope. OLTL could make such a statement if they showed the struggles of being a teen mom, but Starr just saunters around town and leaves Hope with babysitters that wind up getting killed. Boo. Sorry...back to Lang and Ford. Ford in the schnitzel duds helped me get through these scenes. Granted, I didn't really care for all the sexual/hot dog jokes because those were lame as hell. Fact: All sexual/hot dog jokes are lame and people need to be bludgeoned if they use them. AND....they didn't dwell too much on the "I'm so excited we get to have sex because it's Valentine's Day" thing. The scenes were quick enough for me not to scream at the tv. WAIT...it's Valentine's Day?! I just realized I typed this. So, it's gonna be V-Day for a week in Llanview. Unreal. Oh, and this may be a totally unpopular opinion, but you KNOW some of you thought Ford was cute playing with Hope. Come on people...it was adorbs. With all of his "I might have been a good dad" talk, you can tell the writers are REALLY wanting the audience to open up to Ford and the fact that he will be Ryder's father because....dun dun dun...he isn't going anywhere. I know there is a lot of talk of some of the Fords leaving town (if this is my last request on Earth it would be this), but he is now tied to this canvas because of Ryder. Soooo....the writers want us to like him because he is staying. That is the only way I see it but who knows.

God, here is another thing I can't believe I'm gonna say today: I kinda/sorta felt sorry for Starr today. Lord have mercy. Obviously, I'm feeling magnanimous today. I think I'm just being nice because the wedding stuff was sooooooooo effing good that I was much more tolerant of the characters I normally crucify. Anyway, Starr FINALLY after months of angst decides to give it a go with James and now she is gonna think he slept with abstinence club girl (although not really anymore because she wanted to jump the gun. people who just started reading my posts won't get this joke) or Bambi...whatever her name is. I agree with Ford when he told Lang that James would wait on Starr forever. I don't see them being apart long and I'm sure Starr and James will work something out.

Oh, hey Destiny...sup? How was that kiss with Matthew? You would think her lips would have been swollen but I'm assuming she put some ice on them. Oh, and I just didn't get the scenes with Sean and the manicurist...like WTF was that about? And what for? So random. The manicurist got on my nerves and she didn't even really say much. She was too trashy. Yes, that's harsh but I don't care. Oh, and Roxy is still hungover with an ice pack? My ass. I just think that the manicurist/Sean scenes could have been more Destiny/Sean time. That would have been better and she could have discussed her kiss with Matthew more and how proud she is to have the longest kiss on record. Something to be proud of if you ask me.

God...today is full of shockers, huh? Including in this post because....another surprise: Joey didn't get on my nerves today. Hell has frozen over (at least here in Chicago). I will say that I have ALWAYS loved Joey and Vicki's relationship. We haven't seen much of it since he has made his return but I wish we could. I think Joey is Vicki's favorite...my opinion only. In my eyes, toddler Joey moved from picture books to pop up books today for defending Vicki...BIG STEP!

Speaking of Vicki...she didn't do much today except go off on Clint a bit. Hopefully we will see more of her reaction to all this soon AND, more importantly, an awesome confrontation between her and Clint. I want them to really argue over this.

Anyone miss Marty? God knows I do...like I'm sad. I need her daily dose of crazy so I can feel sane about my own life. Except now when I see her I want her to always have the voodoo doll with her that Hope man-handled at St. Anne's. It just adds to the crazy...loves it.

Oh, and if I was about to have sex and that God forsaken music was playing like it was in James' room today then I would probably swear off sex for a year. That music was painfully awful and my eardrums suffered greatly and makes me want to harm myself. It was like tribal music or something...ugh. Where are the Barry White tunes? ;) haha...j/k

I'm about to jinx everything I'm sure but...how great is it to not have Inez and Nate around? It's been such a treat.

So, we are coming off the best episode of 2011 practically so I'm thinking tomorrow probably won't be as good. Confirmation of my thought thanks to the previews...ugh. Hopefully the John and Natalie stuff will deliver and maybe we will get some Jessica and Brody stuff. Fingers crossed.

See you kids tomorrow!
ME