I Laid More Than a Finger on Her

John: "I'm the only one in town who knows Joey really isn't a man. He's been pretending to be a man but he's a toddler. I'm chief of detectives for a reason: I figure shit out."

It's official. Hell has frozen over and little piggies are flying outside my window right now because I'm pretty much in love with John McBain. He had the best quotes of the damn show. Between the entitled quote and "Joey, I don't think you got a clue what a man is" well McBain just outdid himself. I Laid More Than a Finger on Her is some awesome line that "The Office" would use...or something Ross (my fiance) would say to me about a girl when he is trying to be funny. This man is my hero!! I'd drop Ross right now and go run off to Llanview right now with John McBain if he promised to continue to spout off the flippin' fantastic lines. Of course, he would have to still talk in in whisper-like seductive tone. I'm so there.

We can also say that John McBain is the ONLY one with any sense on this show! He seems to be the only one in Llanview that knows Joey is not a man and is indeed a toddler in a 6'4" disguise. Obviously he is on stilts or something. Oh, and I yanked small chunks of my hair out when Joey was telling John he wasn't a man. OMG...horrendous. So, thanks Joey, I now suffer from effing trichotillomania because of YOUR NONSENSE! Oh, and that's another educational thing today for those of you who don't now what trichotillomania means. Simply it's the urge to pull out your hair and a compulsive disorder...caused by Joey Buchanan's stupidity. ;) "Are you kidding me?! I mean, really in my own house?!" Oh. Hell. Yes. Natalie. That's right! In your own damn house, Natalie...you deserve it! I love that John accepts Kelly's help over Natalie's. The Natalie and Kelly bitch fest is awesome and is a great substitute for all the sorely missed Nat/Marty the Martyr cat fighting. I could get used to some Kelly/Natalie goodness. Oh, and nice Joey. Kelly is automatically sincere about her apology because she brought a damn lemon meringue pie! STFU!!!!!! Another tangent I can go on is about how everyone thinks Natalie's lying to John is okay. I'm gonna reserve that rant for a later date.

You're leaving your husband. Hell Tomas, I agree with you at this rate. Todd is getting on my last nerve. Oh, and too damn bad Tomas and Tea are bro and sis on the show because I could be down with some Tomas and Tea lovin'. They have chemistry. Hell, more chemistry than Blair and Tomas...maybe because, oh I dunno, Tomas and Tea have dialogue and do more than just say "oh, this is good-bye" and bat their eyelashes!!!!!!! Ugh! Sidenote: I love the throwing around of all the espanol. I'm gonna start doing that in my house. I will now only answer to "mija." And it's not just for daughters...I checked. So, that's my new name bitches. Thanks for the inspiration Delgados. I love that Tea asked Blair how many good-byes there have been...OMG, Tea it's been like 50! Believe it or not! Tea has sense on this show, too...just like John.

Who is this Todd Manning??? I hate that he thinks every guy is out to rape his daughter. Dear God...maybe if, you didn't rape Marty Saybrooke twice then you wouldn't be so insecure! AND...he is calling Tea his two-faced wife!?!? God, I'm starting to genuinely like Tea (obviously this is not the 1990's anymore when I couldn't stomach her). How dare Todd bash her like this...to BLAIR! AH! I know they have a close relationship but he is treating Tea like shit with his actions recently. Of course, Tea is saying how Todd is the best thing that ever happened to her...ugh.

This wedding is so effed up, yet hysterical at the same time. Like Tess, I'm so glad Jess didn't bust out during the wedding because Tess needs to stay for a bit. And...my heart is not hurting for Langston...in the least. I'm an icy bitch. As far as the wedding being legal, I'm not about to pull my law degree card and get all technical. This is a soap opera and I'm just taking this shit for what it's worth...a hot mess. I love that Tess called Brody "li'l man." haha...getting arrested for kidnapping her fiance...lurve it. Jessica's happy in the cage...LOL! That Tess is too much!

I have dreaded to write about Starr and James. I don't find them interesting in the least. I'm sure I'll get crucified for this, but I have to strive for honesty here. Maybe because I'm bitter with the teen scene in general because the only two teens I genuinely care about are Matthew and Destiny. Obviously, the writers are trying to get me to hate Matthew (it's working) and Destiny is never shown. Hell, Matthew isn't shown either and when he is I'm screaming at the tv that he is such an effing douche! AH! I think I could have gotten into Starr and James maybe...oh, I dunno...MONTHS AGO! They should have gotten together when they were on the run. Her relationship to Cole was already falling apart and it was time for them to end. What am I talking about? Cole and Starr were awful from the beginning and their relationship ruined the character of Starr in my eyes. The sassy, bad-ass eight year old Starr was awesome...this one not so much. Anyway, I think James is sappy as shit. He is adorable and all but just no. Maybe I feel this way because I'm against the Ford brothers. But...the spark for James and Starr ended with me when they had the same conversations for months on end. I actually wanted to give them a chance and prayed that Starr would be redeemed. For me, the time has passed. The dewey decimal system is much more interesting. That's all I got.

I'll assign a "Line of the Day" but of course I am excluding McBain's awesome lines. Ford: "Langston what are you doing here?" Tess: "Oh, Van Helsing needed an assistant. Thank God you guys are here!" Of course, her dry sarcasm made it great but I loved it. I want to go have drinks with Tess as soon as possible.

I'm down with John and Kelly having sex...minority opinion but I'm perfectly okay with it.

So, between the quick previews, the sneak peek online, and the spoilers...well, tomorrow's show should be delicious! I cannot wait! Dorian/Echo, Clint/Vicki, Bo/Nora/Rex...yay!

Goodnight you fine people! See you tomorrow evening! It'll be around this time or a little earlier.

xoxo,

ME

Buy the Cow and Get the Milk for Free Friday

Brody: "Listen douchebag, the only one who will be milking that Buchanan cash cow is ME!"

TGIF! Hope everyone had a great day. I'm goin' do a drive by post so I can go out and enjoy myself because I got an awesome job offer today...whoop whoop!! I'm super excited! Let's do this shall we?

FACT: Ok, so the pic that Brody showed the creepy looking hotel guy is the SAME one that is on Vicki's mantel (next to the one of Vicki and Charlie and Charlie's watch) however, Bree is superimposed in the pic on the mantel and magically removed for this pic. Seriously, if you still have yesterday's show on DVR go look at when Dorian goes by Vicki's mantel...same pic, yet different! WTF is going on?! A vampire/death themed wedding??? Come on people! Make this better. I'd rather go for an Elvis themed wedding but this is a tad weird...actually, it's more than weird. Did I miss something during the show yesterday? Or, have I missed something today?? Why this effing chapel? Why in the hell am I so bothered? I just am. The guy/witness with Tess is possibly the BIGGEST douchebag I've ever seen! My God, he's worse than that guy hitting on Langston last week at Capricorn. Woof! Oh, I'm still in love with Tess, her boobs, and her funny quotes. Gonna be kinda boring when Jess comes back.

Brody and Langston's scenes...eh, ok. I like Brody in scenes with the vets or Jessica and Natalie. Again, I'm probably just feeling this way because of my feelings toward Lang.

Wow, so the teen scenes at Vicki's cabin are nothing short of terrible. Good God. I praised the Lord yesterday for their absence and then I just got slapped with them again today. It's like the morning after excessive partying/drinking and you magically feel decent and then get up early but then at about 2 p.m. you feel like shit. I'm not advocating teen sex at all, but if I were 35 year old Nate and Dan-YELLA I'd be pissed!!! Coming between raging teenage hormones...Lord. Just like Llanfair, Vicki's cabin is a revolving door. Vicki needs to amp up her security. I can't say much more about these scenes...you wonderful readers know why. I also don't want to just word vomit about the awfulness of them...it's a Friday and I'm feeling generous.

Lemon Meringue Pie? Kelly, you dipshit. Seriously. Now, if a bacon cheeseburger and fries were in the bag then I might forgive Kelly...but not Lemon Meringue. Lemon Icebox Pie...maybe. Party at Llanfair huh? I will say this (because God knows I've bashed Kelly's stupidity on this blog): Kelly gave it to Joey today and everything she said was SPOT ON! Finally, my prayers have been answered. Kelly grew a pair and finally stopped getting lemon in her eye and choking on olives and told him the truth...thanks! Joey go back to your private pre-K 4 teacher because you are infuriating me! I liked you better making a sandwich yesterday.

Toad Manning (yes, I said toad), you are grating on my LAST NERVE! Maybe I'm also a bit frustrated because I'm so damn confused if Roger Howarth is coming back. Dammit, I get so excited when I think he is and then I hear he may not. Ugh. Stop it, soap world. Please tell me one way or the other. Pulling at my heart strings is cruel! Ok, so I'm convinced Tea is advocating her daughter having sex. I don't find this okay...to me, at least. I just couldn't sit there and know my daughter is out trying to cash in her v-card...just no!!! The more I think about this the more it bothers me. Maybe I'm old-fashioned? I dunno. I don't like her stance with it. Tomas hardly talked today...WTF?

I'm glad you're never giving up on John, Natalie, because God knows I've given up on you. Someone needs to stay positive. Wait...I feel John and Natalie are basically having the same convo again. "I was scared to tell you, John." OMG, enough! Of course, Liam will indeed be John's but for argument's sake...STFU, Natalie! "You wanna hold your son?" UGH! I'm screaming at you, Natalie! I'll say that Detective McBain looks good holding a baby. That baby looks at least 2 1/2 months old. Natalie: telling John that the baby only falls asleep to Miles Davis tunes is just like Kelly bringing you the pie. Just no! That doesn't justify shit.

Thank God for yesterday and today! Besides the teens it was good!

John and Kelly making out next week...yes please. John and Kelly in bed next week and Roxy finds Kelly...anticipation...killing me!

I'm having Nora and Bo withdrawals and I need Clint in my life, too!!! It's been a week! Dammit! Thank God they are on at least 3 times next week.

Still praying Matthew acts normal (by a miracle) next week and not like a slapdick. I'm so over his rudeness to his parents and to Destiny.

I missed Dorian (and her fierce hat) and Vicki today. =(

Oh, and I meant to say this yesterday. Like I said before, Kim Zimmer ONLY wears shades of blue. Her nightie and robe with Charlie at the motel were blue and so was the little ensemble she wore with John McBain. Dear OLTL wardrobe department, Please dress Kim Zimmer in colors besides blue!! Enough! xo, ME. I get it...I have dark hair, the same skin tone and blues eyes, too but I at least change it up a bit. This is a bit much.

I love Marty! I love Marty! (I'm singing this to the tune of "I feel pretty.") Can't wait for her to grace us with her psychotic presence next week. Oh while I'm referring to peeps at St. Anne's, I think Dr. Levin actually shows his face. Hopefully they will fire his ass since I discussed that yesterday. He is a quack doctor...convinced.

Truth about Vickers and his Moroccan vacation comes out next week...super pumped!

This was kind of a fast post. Have to go out and celebrate! Yay for gainful employment!

Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend! Let's all pray that EVERYDAY next week on OLTL is good. If anything you need to pray it is or my posts are going to be bitchy bitchy bitchy! We don't want that now do we? I'm a cheerful gal so I want to post good things! ;)

Off for margaritas!

xoxoxo,

ME

Thank God It's Thursday!!!!

My dog, Lola: "Oh thank God. This is the first day this week I wasn't forced to drink martinis to get through OLTL. Bless Dorian and her hats!"

Yes, I KNOW this picture is beyond random but I could not for the life of me find any pics from today's episode! I didn't just want to use a still picture from the intro, so I went with my go-to gal, Lola. She is an avid viewer so she is legit...fret not. Plus, this is only her second post appearance. She posed as Inez Sallinger back in January as some of you may recall. Anyway, I'm just so damn happy today's show was watchable!!! MUCH NEEDED!!! Plus, tomorrow's previews only looked "ok" so my motto for this week is "Thank God It's Thursday!!!"

It's amazing how one set of characters can just change the whole show. Granted, nothing life changing happened today but simply having Dorian and Vicki on made my day. Add that to the surprisingly lovely John and Echo scenes and then the Tomas and Tea scenes and well...the show ended today and I was downright pleased with what I had just watched and my favorite characters weren't even on...so that's GOOD!

Pleasant Surprise #1: Ok, I'm by no means the biggest Tea fan. I don't dislike her at all, but I really just feel nothing for her at all. However, I really was feeling this sassy little lawyer today. Her scenes with Tomas were surprisingly great! I also fight back the urge to jump off my bed and pretend make-out with Ted King...OMG, something about him is so attractive! Anyway, I felt I learned a hell of a lot more about Tomas today than all of his scenes with Blair combined. AND...I found these more enjoyable. He and Blair basically just sit across from each other and act all cryptic...as if they are playing a game of Clue or some shit. Ugh! Anyway, my heart was really breaking for Tea today and this has never happened before (not even really during her kidnapping stuff. no, I'm not cold...just apathetic). What bothers me is what in the hell is Tomas going to tell Blair? Oh hey, I've told you 50 mother effing times I'm leaving but I'm staying around...UGH. How annoying.

Pleasant Surprise #2: John and Echo were great. Wait, so is John just going to stay at the Minuteman for awhile? I must say it is probably better than his apartment. OMG...that tv?! Can those tvs even get cable? It was so dated! So, the Minuteman has a minibar and provides little things of booze but can't afford a cheap ass LCD flatscreen. My ass. Anyway, those scenes were surprisingly touching, too. I love that John told her something like "that is the longest I've ever talked before" LOL. I bet it was. I really can't believe he opened up to Echo about all that. Of course, we didn't get to hear much of it but at least someone was there to lend a sympathetic ear. HOWEVER, I still don't feel sorry for Echo in the slightest. Not that I don't sympathize with her but I just hate that Vicki is getting hurt by her.

Good God, speaking of Vicki. I'm at a loss for words!!! Dealing with Jessica and then Dorian has the scoop of the Echo/Charlie lovefest...ugh! Regardless, I'm glad that Dorian got to check out the pic with Charlie's watch while Vicki took the doctor's phone call. Oh, P.S., Dr. Levin is like the worst psychologist or psychiatrist EVER! Worse than Marty! (MISS HER!) I mean, all of his patients remain crazy AND Hannah O'Connor fooled him that she was schizo. God, we could keep going...even Lindsay Rappaport fooled him. How in the hell is this man still employed!?!?!? FIRE HIM, St. Anne's! I'm glad Dorian didn't drop the bomb on Vicki today, because, hell, Nicki or Jean or another alter may have come out and then you'd have Vicki and Jessica's alters running amuck. One person with an alter at a time, OLTL. Please don't tag team us with a mother daughter team. P.S. Dorian's hat has a life of its own and I freakin' love it.

Nice Kelly and Blair scenes. However, I have a beef: If Kelly is as hungover as she claims to be, then she needs to be in pajamas and looking like smashed ass. Who gets shitfaced and then goes and puts on some super cute outfit and lays on the couch?!?! NOT this girl! Good God, OLTL. Hell, put her in sexy pj's but a cute outfit is not believable! On another note, I love Blair's little outfit...she is too cute. So...I knew Blair would throw a gasket about the John shit. Hell, I don't blame her. To an extent, she is right about Kelly going after every guy she finds attractive. Also, I'm glad Kelly got through to Blair about Tomas. Hopefully she will make a move because just watching her sip wine that reminds her of Tomas well....that's just so effing boring that I'd rather watch James and Michelle talk while in Christian's art classroom. Over it.

A Joey special, huh? Yeah Joey, because your six-inch sub is gonna put Natalie in one helluva good mood! Ugh! Oh damn someone slap him!!! On a different note, I'm surprised Joey could make a sandwich. Plus, it looked pretty good. His private pre-K 4 teacher must be the shit! Damn, I need to go to Vicki's house for a sandwich! I'm used to sliced bread but she has like Subway bread and shit with good meat. Mmmmm. Oh, and PLEASE tell me someone on the set ate those sandwiches. If not, then that is such a waste of food. That was my main concern with the show today. I was so worried that food would go to waste! I feel that Joey has NO RIGHT to be upset about this Kelly shit. He is just so effing dumb!!! What does he expect!? He just MARRIED Aubs and he is gonna get mad about Kelly and John. WTF. I guess I can see why he would be upset about the thought of Kelly and Clint teaming up but that's it. Oh, no sympathy for Natalie still. Maybe spring needs to go on and get here so my heart will thaw out? It is still a chunk of ice where Natalie is concerned. Another thing...the loss of her baby weight at this stage in the game is absurd! At least put her in loose fitting clothes! Her body is rockin' but it's just sooooo not believable at this point! UGH. Whoa is this like the first time Joey and Natalie have actually been together alone in a scene?? I think so.

Quote of the Day comes from Dorian: "She's a lying, husband stealing, watch stealing...Dipsomanic!!!" Maybe I've been living under an effing rock but...what in the hell is a "dipsomaniac"?! Wait...I'm googling this shit right now. Oh, ok. It's a person who has an uncontrollable craving for alcohol. For all of you who didn't know what that meant, you learned it here. Who said this blog was not educational?

Oh, and good news! I think Marty is on next week...yay!!!! Hip Hip Hooray!!!

Also, I know Matthew is on next week and Nora tells him who she thinks killed Eddie. So, Dear OLTL, if you are only going to bring Matthew on once a week PLEASE don't make me hate him. This is so effed up. xoxo, ME. I'm sure he will defend Clint or act like an ass to Nora and then I'm sure he will leave in a huff and then run into Destiny and then be mean to her...UGH!!!

Kelly and Joey deserve each other. Bringing Natalie lunch and note?! WHAT?! "Hey, sorry I effed your fiance'. Here is a cheeseburger. I also threw in some fries because we had sex more than once I think. No hard feelings. Love ya, Kelly." WTF!!! Horrible idea!

Kinda missed Tess/Ford today...

OMG...NO TEENS were on today!!!! AH!!!!! What a day!

F*$K. Nevermind, teens are on tomorrow. I'll be drinking at 1 o'clock tomorrow, I'm sure. My dog AND me.

Today was great! Nothing awesome, but it was just all around good stuff. Thank God! See you kiddos tomorrow!

xoxo,

ME

Tuesday Teen Invasion

Shane: "I don't know what is scarier: you kicking my ass or how bad the show sucks today."

Good evening, peeps!!! Sorry for not posting yesterday. I had to prepare for 2 interviews today...things are going really well! Downside: I'm a ball of nerves and constantly sleep deprived. Ugh. Anywho...ummmm so thank God for DVR and the fast forward button. Tuesday's episode pretty much sucked and God knows Wednesday was pretty sluggish, too. Same pattern as last week. WTF is goin' on?! Soooo....I'm gonna do a one-two punch and post for both days. P.S. I'm gonna bitch...A LOT. You have been warned!

Tuesday, 2/22/11

Good God...the teens were in full effect huh? Damn. Well...where do I begin? Oh, I know...let's begin with Matthew Buchanan since this is his first appearance in a decade. So....I knew Matt was gonna be on and all and I was pretty excited. Wow...my excitement deflated effing quickly. Whose kid is this?!?! Not Bo and Nora's...that's for damn sure! He was a bastard the ENTIRE episode. Oh, and he knows about what happened at the wedding...so, did his parents tell him??? Maybe not? Maybe the newspaper? And, he thinks what Clint did was pretty much okay? This is effed up. Also...Ummm lemme get this straight: Matt and Destiny sucked face in the doorway of the garret...then what? She just ran away immediately and he went back to just hanging around the apartment? I don't think so. Chunks are missing here! AND...He was so rude to her when she came up to him yesterday. WTF is that all about? I want nice Matthew back. This one is some evil spawn...AND he is being a little bitch.

Speaking of people being called "little bitches"...I don't care for the new Jack Manning. This is probably a minority opinion but oh well. I liked the former smart-ass Jack who was still likable. This new Jack reminds me of a mean Justin Bieber...which means I won't like him. And, I thought his first scene with Todd and Tea was pretty terrible. Besides that, the bullying stuff kinda makes me sick to my stomach. I'm fine with the story but it pains me to see a child with an illness get picked on and stuff like this happens all the time. Tear. =( Oh, and those other two kids sucked major ass. Someone needs to tackle them or give them terrible wedgies...asap. Of course, Matthew continued to be a slapdick and not help Shane. My God...Bo and Nora would be horrified if they knew this was going on. Bring back the sweet Matthew of like 2005 or something please...now! I can't handle this! We rarely see him and now when we do I hate him...dammit, OLTL!

Clint and Vicki scenes...nice but not enough. And we could have had more Vicki/Clint delicious goodness if...Oh, I dunno, OLTL, maybe you could NOT HAVE HAD THE LAME ASS JAMES AND MICHELLE SCENES ON OR THE GIGI AND CHRISTIAN ONES!!!!! Sonofabitch!!! Was it really necessary to have James and Michelle on yesterday? That was such a trick, too, because they were not shown until after the opening intro and then I saw it and was like "oh f**k...just no, please." Then, of course, it went to hell in a handbasket after that because Gigi and Christian were on together in that Godforsaken art classroom...vomit. Wait...back to Vicki and Clint...good scenes but not long enough. I was so genuinely interested in them. Vicki's right though...this shit is Clint's fault. Word.

Rama/Aubs/Cutter...get them out of the Buenos Dias because they look out of place.

OMG...Todd is so effing rude. Oooh...Tea looks beautiful today.

Wait...Langston said she was going to talk to Vicki?! OMG...Brittany Underwood and Erika Slezak in a scene together?? Surely the writers wouldn't do this to us. Wait...yes, score! Vicki already left before Lang got there. Bullet dodged.

Oh...and Tess and Ford are so enjoyable. If it wasn't for them and the Clint and Vicki stuff...well...I would have eaten rat poison. Dramatic? Yes. But there is only so much one person can take in an hour long soap opera.

Ok...lemme move on to today's so this thing won't last so long. Too many teens on Tuesday and not enough vets. Or when the vets were on, we didn't get enough of them. Moral of the Story: Tuesday Episodes in February Have SUCKED.

Wednesday, 2/23/11

I can tell right now I'm going to hate this episode. Yes...Dani/Nate are on. Ugh...so all hope of me enjoying this episode is lost. Negativity will haunt this post, too....grrr

One positive...Vicki is on. However, she is just frantically running around looking for Tess. Yes, she should DEF be concerned with her daughter...HOWEVER, I feel that for I dunno the past couple of weeks all Vicki has done is just be frantic or worried about someone else. I want her to have her own story. This is kinda ridiculous. OMG...could Todd have been any more rude to Vicki!?!? He and Matthew need to just be locked up in a room together and beat the ever living shit out of each other...immediately!!!

Another positive...despite the glacial pace of the story, I do indeed believe that Tomas and Blair have chemistry and this will indeed work when it gets going. OMG...I MUST try the flan at this place!!!! I salivated a bit when they were eating it...mmmm. But...I've beaten the shit out of my feelings about this but the story must get going! Even Blair said something like, we always think we are saying good-bye forever but we see each other again. Ummm now that you mention it I'm effing tired of them "saying good-bye" and then leaving...yet only to see each other AGAIN. Move this along, OLTL...people are gonna lose interest! I'll say that I did love the drawing he did of Blair. ;)

What?! Tea is okay with Dan-YELLA sneaking off to have sex?! I'm so confused by all this. I mean...maybe that's good...I guess. I just know that if my daughter called and said something to the effect of "I'm safe but hiding with my boyfriend so we can do the nasty" then I'd be like "I'm gonna beat your ass if you don't get back this instant, young lady." But that's just me. Maybe you will change your tune Tea when Dan-YELLA ends up on MTV's "Teen Mom." Hmmm???? That's what I thought. Oh, and Todd and Tea are entirely too mopey as of late!!! A little happiness please!!! Go and have the flan at the Buenos Dias...it could help.

Dan-YELLA and Nate...I don't give two flying shits about them and their first time to get it on. Don't/Won't/Can't discuss this.

REALLY James?! So YOU suggested to Nate that they can go hide out at Vicki's cabin?! Where are your manners??? OMG. I mean, I know you and Starr were there hiding out at one point but that's rather rude and ballsy of you to just say "hey, go to Vicki's cabin." I know Dan-YELLA is Vicki's niece but still. Then again, it makes since for people to take advantage of poor Vicki since everyone is these days. Oy!!!

Well, for like the millionth day in a row I had to re-watch the Ford/Tess scenes because I'm only paying attention to her boobs! I swear that they grow bigger each episode. I find myself asking questions like "what kind of push up bra does she have under there, if any? Or, is it just built in the lingerie?" I'm jealous of them. Grrr. Anyway, this whole thing with them is just hilarious.

I don't really remember Brody and Lang having many scenes together in the past. Despite my disgust for Lang, I thought the scenes were decent. I'll comment on these more once they get to Vegas and shit hits the fan.

Oooooohhh!!!! FINALLY! Tomas and Tea together in a scene. At least this part of the story is moving along!

OMG...THANK YOU GOD!!!!! Tomorrow: Dorian/Vicki, Echo/John, Kelly/Dorian, and a Tomas/Tea scene...should be decent. Hell, anything is better than the shit that has been on my screen for the past two days.

I'll see you kiddies tomorrow! Preferably early afternoon. Y'all have a great night!

xoxo,

ME

It Sucked to Be You Yesterday

Clint: "Rex, I'll accept you as my real son only if you get rid of Gigi. Her haircut makes me want to kill myself."

Hola everyone!!! I had a second round of interviews today and another tomorrow so I'm JUST now sitting down to watch my daily guilty pleasure. Hope everyone had a good weekend since God knows most in Llanview did not...

I'm pretty sure the entitled quote can be said for everyone in the whole damn town right now. It really sucked to be anyone in Llanview...except maybe Dorian? If her outfit reflects her mood then she is feeling pretty fierce. Oh snap, wait, and I'm sure Echo is also an exception because she finally got a piece of ass from her former Atlantic City lover. So...those two had a great night. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure the whole town could be on Zoloft at this point since everyone's world is practically crashing down around them.

I need to come up with a new phrase instead of "poor Vicki." I've beaten this phrase to hell and back and well...frankly I'm just tired of typing it. So...if anyone has any suggestions PLEASE let me know. FACT: Charlie says "sawry" instead of "sorry." Y'all replay that shit if you don't believe me. I'm sure saying the word "sorry" is a phonetic skill taught in early childhood development. He needs to attend Joey's nursery school and get his skills straight. Oh wait, remember from a few posts ago, it was confirmed that Joey got denied from Llanview's premiere nursery school so hopefully Chuckles can get this pronunciation problem fixed quickly...possibly by a private tutor. Or, he could just attend the school without any friends. I'm sorry where was I? Vicki and Charlie...ugh. The show makes Vicki look even more pitiful/vulnerable by making her look pale and wear no lipstick...at least for today. This woman is breaking my heart. I need her to have a GROWN ASS MAN for a husband!!!! Immediately. He doesn't even have the balls to just flat out tell her about Echo. Please Charlie...just tell her now and go and let Vicki continue to have a terrible day and get all this shit over with at once. Rip this band-aid off at once! But no, instead I'm sure Vicki will try to slowly absorb all that's going on and once she is finally accepting it all and getting on track...she will find out about Chuckles. Just no. Good God these scenes were PAINFUL for my heart to handle. I need to be held...immediately!!!

Echo and Dorian...they just sizzle together don't they? Ok, so Dorian looks sooooooooo out of place at the Minuteman. Fact. The feather with the ruby on the hat...lurve it. I still don't understand Dorian's motives here. I mean, I understand what she says but I just don't see why she is so insistent upon bringing Echo down. Oh nice watch, Charlie. Is that an I.W.C.? A Patek Philippe? Looks expensive...pawn that shit, Echo!!!! Pawn it!

I LOVED the Rex and Clint scenes. Loved them and oh how I LOVE the Buchanan study...always have. I like these two together...just wish their scenes would have lasted longer, that's all. Sonofabitch...Clint continues to justify his actions. I wonder if there is even a chance he can be redeemable now? I'm just not sure. I think I just like him being evil...at least for a few more months. I'd like him and Aubrey to get it on and then something happen and he become borderline redeemable. THEN, maybe he and maybe Vicki can get together. Far fectched? Hell yes. Just a dream. Anyway, I'm glad Rex pulled the David card but ummm....too damn late in my book, buddy. You should have done this...like I dunno...MONTHS AGO!!! My God, he should have just told Bo. But then again, who does tell Bo anything? I mean, Inez milked Bo for all he was worth and then just didn't trust him enough to tell him about the Clint mess. Yet, she trusted him with everything else. Rex just did the same thing. I know Clint is scary people but Bo could have helped you...UGH! So...I will not feel sorry for you, Rex, in the slightest when Bo lashes out at you!!!

Sweet. Fact: God is merciful. So, I knew that Langston and Starr were gonna be on today. They were mentioned a few times in the spoilers for today alone. I was surprisingly relieved to find that their scenes were those really, really terrible quick snippet type scenes OLTL does that only last a half second or two and are really quick. Which brings up the question: Why in the hell even show them? It's like Blair and Tomas during the week of the wedding. What really was the point? The total of 3 minutes dedicated to these scenes could be used for other people that actually have a decent story right now. I can't believe it but they didn't bother me very much. This also made me feel that there was justice in the world, because Bo and Nora were only on in snippets on Friday so at least they did this to Lang and Starr today. Yes, I'm a happy girl because I didn't toss my dinner, wasn't forced to drink, and my hair was not pulled out in clumps. The scenes were bearable. Score.

Tess and Ford...yes, please!!! My God it's a miracle. I now actually LOOK FORWARD to the Tess/Ford scenes. I'm just effing flabbergasted to tell y'all the truth! And, I've never ever looked forward to a Ford scene. Whoa...I'm totally lying. I anxiously awaited for the scenes when Black and Blue beat Ford while Clint drank a beer and made himself an effing turkey sandwich (that was so awesome. bad ass Clint in full effect). Those scenes were nothing short of nirvana. Another fun fact of the day: I love that the hotel room in Vegas is the same "room" (with a few changes) that Bo and Nora almost got it on while in Seattle for Matthew's surgery. Love that Seattle and Vegas have equally enviable amenities. Nice. Another thing that is nice...Tess' boobs...again all I do is stare at them! hahaha....Tess: "I was there for the 30 seconds it took you to make your little deposit." I LOVE TESS!!! Please don't leave. Just please stay. And, if you do leave OLTL please come to Chicago and be friends with me...this could soooo work!!!

Poor Roxy. I feel that she is brought on the show for such shit scenes. Granted, it is good that the show addressed the place being destroyed, etc. but still...I dunno. Roxy could be utilized so much more and isn't. It really is a shame. OH REALLY?! She is inquiring about Natalie's wedding now? This is soooo shitty. She was her mother for crying out loud! Roxy would have been more involved with all this....just BOO on that. UGH.

AHHHH!!!!! Natalie. Unbelievable. I can get through a Langston and Starr scene and then YOU have to go and make me want to gouge my eyes out....Lord. REALLY?! Kelly doesn't owe me any explanations but you sure as hell do?! Natalie, no!!! FACT: John McBain became an apathetic badass overnight...literally overnight. From the wedding to the next day. Minority opinion: I'm enjoying John and how he is acting. If anything, solely for the purpose that he has become an interesting character. These scenes with John and Natalie are great. WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE!!! No Natalie...don't yell at Kelly like that. OMG...my dog got so upset when Natalie yelled to Kelly "Why are you still here!?!?" I'm now upset with Natalie for upsetting my dog. John: "Why are you still here Natalie?" Ummmm good mother effing question. Natalie just baffles me. Yes, I know she didn't cheat on John technically but the lying for months and trying to pass the kid off as John's qualifies for John's shit list. So, he and Kelly having a one night stand...I'm fine with it. Natalie had no right to rant and rave the way she did (although I can see myself doing the same thing even after all the lying whether I had the right or not). Anyway, John...go play and have fun for awhile. Maybe with Kelly...

YES!!!! Dorian sees Kelly doing the walk of shame. Loves it. The red and black coat that Dorian threw over Kelly looks like the same coat Julia Roberts wore in Pretty Woman in the beginning. Hmmm

Free Marty! Free Marty!! Freeeee Marty!!!!!!!!!!!! And her voo-doo doll!!!!

More Ford and Tess (this still sounds weird for me to say). I just realized I'm interchanging Jess and Tess...sorry! I mean Tess when I accidentally type Jessica. I tried to go back and correct. My blog posts are hot messes when I'm tired...ah!

Today was a pretty good show. I'll be late posting again tomorrow, probably. Y'all have a GREAT night!

xoxo,
ME

Continental Breakfast

John: "We are gonna have to make this quick because we are meeting Charlie and Echo at 9 in the lobby. I want to be the first one in line at the waffle iron."

Happy Friday, everyone!!! Thought I'd go on and try and roll a post out before the weekend takes me over. Plus, I don't like to leave you all waiting if I can help it. So...

I'm pretty sure I JUST picked my jaw up off the damn floor. No, it's not because Charlie cheated on Vicki (even though it sucks) or that John did the nasty with Kelly. No...I'm floored about something that I just can't wrap my mind around. You mean to tell me that The Minuteman Motel (which is a really vulgar name for a sleezy motel if you think about it...ewww) has a mother effing minibar?!?!?! REALLY?! I mean REALLY, show?! This is not a 5 star hotel. It's the Minuteman...UGH! I'm so sure John McBain just go up and started throwing back mini bottles of Jack Daniels...my ass. That was just absurd. The whole thing was just filled with liquor and mixers!!! AH! How can the writers just NOT know that a minibar in a shit motel is not acceptable nor is this how the set-up is in real life. I'm so offended by this! Dammit! Hell, why not enjoy the minibar and just have an effing party there. Why you ask? Oh, I dunno. Maybe because EVERYONE is AT the freakin' Minuteman. WTF is goin' on?! Now I have to see Echo and Charlie the morning after their romp. And, OMG...can we all get an "amen!?" It's the NEXT morning...FINALLY!!!! We have been on V-Day for weeks! Lord! I just can't get over that everyone is here. I was just waiting for the 2 couples to go meet up in the lobby and eat cheap, sugary cereal with milk or some dry cheese danish and drink bad coffee. Come on...these people need to eat, right???

Again, I'm perfectly okay with John and Kelly doing it. I thought they had chemistry, but I'm sure the writers will probably have them never talk to one another again after this one-nighter...ugh. John's face looked like shit. I'm also totally fine with Natalie walking in and seeing both John and Kelly because I think she totally deserves to wallow in misery for at least a couple of months. I'm sure her concern for John was genuine...but no.

Grrrrr....Charlie drives me to drink. The irony, right? OMG. This man just makes my effing head spin. I KNEW he was going to tell Echo he had feelings for her...ah! Anyway, at this rate I just wish he would be like "Vicki I have feelings for Echo. I'm sorry, but I do. I slept with her and now I'd like a quickie divorce and I want to marry Echo in Atlantic City." The End. I need Vicki B to have a real man and some happiness. Speaking of...

It's official: Vicki has had like the worst 24 hours of anyone. She is just getting bad news over and over. I mean, Rex comes back and tells her he can't find Charlie. Then, unbeknownst to poor Vicki B. her beloved Chuckles has effed Echo at the roach motel. Geez Louise! Sidenote: I'm pretty sure Vicki was the most adorable woman on the planet holding Liam. I want to be held by her...gosh! At least she knows how to hold the baby, Brody all but threw the child's head around the other day. He needs parenting skills. Too bad he won't need them since he isn't a father....bummer. Nice, Natalie acknowledged that if Jessica doesn't return soon they are gonna have to switch to formula. Speaking of...where the hell is Ryder? Is he still crying but the baby monitor is shut off? Wouldn't doubt it. Llanfair is running amuck...FACT. Another FACT: Liam looks 6 months old...good God.

Clint continues to be the master pimp he is. I STILL want him to have angry sex with Aubs then fall in love with her. I do. Gosh, there are so many pics of Bo at the Buch mansion. I want to have a nice and enjoyable Friday evening, so I'm not gonna discuss Joey's stupidity except just to say that I'm pretty sure that no reputable pre-school or daycare center would grant him admission because he doesn't have skills like the other children. Maybe next year, Joe. His scenes with Clint made me pull out clumps of my hair and now I have bald patches all over my head...ugh. What he does to me. Back to Clint and Aubs, she can hold her own against him and I think their scenes are super juicy. This little blackmailing game is nice.

Dorian is back AND looking fierce!!! I LOL'd while she read the headlines from The Sun online. Wait...then we hardly see Dorian until the last segment. Awe man! Oooohhh....Echo/Dorian confrontation on Monday...my heart is skipping a beat already! The scenes with Cutter were okay. I would have rather seen Dorian just talking aloud to herself because that is just awesome entertainment. Oh well.

So....Bo, Nora, and Tea worked through the night at the police station. Good God...they are in the SAME clothes!!!! Wait...no, just Nora is. Bo changed? WTF?! Poor baby...how come she didn't get to change? This is insane! AND...the flower on Nora's dress has taken on a life of its own. It has grown. Just cut it off! Thank you, Bo, for standing up to Todd Manning and making him knock to enter. That bastard just does whatever he wants and I'm over it. AND...I don't like him talking to Tea like that...NO! What a bastard! Again, I think they are in for trouble soon. Oh snap, nice reference to Commonwealth vs. Manning in 1993. Again...Roger Howarth imagery coming to mind. Hmmm. If he does indeed come back, I pray they show the Spring Fling rape trial or the beach house stuff. People need to see it if they havne't...that IS the year when practically everyone won an Emmy. Second year in a row that Bo and Nora haven't celebrated Valentine's Day...FAIL! I'll take the 2 seconds of affection at the end if that's all I can get. Adorbs.

LOL...Rex catching the paper from his "dad." Excited about these scenes on Monday.

Damn...I thought Rama and Vimal were on today.

I'm just assuming that Marty is still playing with her destroyed voo-doo doll at St. Anne's. Hopefully she is making friends. Maybe with Hannah? One can only hope...

I'm assuming Matthew is hanging out at the garrett and doing all kinds of fun things because obviously there are so many things to do there...like an effin' amusement park all crammed into about 10' x 10' space. UGH. Please get them the Barn back please...PLEASE! Or just a new house. I hate the garrett. Ewww.

Sorry this is so short. I'm in a hurry this evening before we head out for the evening.

Everyone have a great weekend!!! Hoping OLTL is great next week.

Cheers!

ME

Ford Focus

Tess: "That's right, bitches. You know Ford would rather be with my tight little ass than that Langston chick. Hello, look at my aweome new dress. He can't resist."

As promised, I'm posting! I am dedicated to you people, because I'm worn slap damn out! I had to take so many verbal and math tests today at this interview...UGH! Anyway, better late than never! Let's get started...

Granted, today's episode didn't rock my socks off but it was pretty good. I'll discuss Tess in a bit. I've been so bored the last 3 days that I automatically knew I'd be a little more entertained since Bo, Nora, and Clint were on. Speaking of them...

It's pretty much a fact that the only way a character goes to jail for good is if they are leaving the show (i.e., beloved Lindsay Rappaport, disgusting Daniel Colson, poor delicious Troy McIver...you get the drift). So, it's obvious that poor Bo and Nora are never going to put Clint away. If they did, he would get a short lived visit to jail and it would probably just be the Sallinger suite where cookie-toting Inez and her 40 year old son, Nate, were held behind bars. I haven't read too many spoilers on how all this goes down, but I heard Clint fakes an illness or some shit and then the Buch family has to deal with the fallout. Lord, I haven't a clue about how all this will play out. I do have a bone to pick: God Nora, I love you more than life and have ever since the day you strolled into Llanview from Chicago...HOWEVER, dammit I want to shake you!!! You told Clint like 2 weeks ago that you were DONE apologizing to him for you and Bo getting back together. Therefore, I cannot mentally handle (especially after a day of test taking like I've had) you telling Bo all this "he didn't start acting like this until we got back together crap." AHHHHHH!!!!! Stop! I still adore you but please, I beg of you, please stop this. xoxo, your biggest fan. UGH...ok enough of that but I had to get that out. Regardless, I'm just thrilled they are back on my screen. I know there is more to come of all this with them and Vimal tomorrow so I'll wait to discuss it then. OMG...I still can't get over they are still in the wedding attire! Good God!

Clint and Natalie scenes were solid...especially after John told Natalie the other day that she was practically being like Clint and "playing God." When Natalie told Clint that the baby was Brody's he just had a look on his face like "awe f**k, Natalie." I don't blame ya, old man. This plan just got all shot to hell, didn't it? *Sigh* of relief...at least Natalie has changed clothes. I love that when Natalie noticed the baby monitor was turned off she turned it back on and heard the baby crying and didn't do a damn thing there for a few minutes. Solid parenting skills. Oh, and I am sure Jess had a key but HELLO?! The back door at Llanfair is used entirely too often as the origin for breaking and entering. Granted it's Tess' house but still...is ANYONE safe at this damn house?! I'm afraid, not!

Tess is just so effing hysterical! Oh, Tess reminds me of one of those CRAZY bitches on a Lifetime movie that goes to bars and gets a guy to take home and screw and then she kills him during the middle of it with an ice pick or some shit. I think a little pee came out today because I was laughing so hard at her. Between calling Brody "Captain America" and saying her plan to get the trust fund cash was "Ford proof" well I was just in stiches. This is a crafty little bitch, huh? She is just going all out with Ford! She is on his ass like glue...damn. I think the writers are trying to get us to like Ford and Tess...don't y'all? Maybe they are trying to make us forget about Ford basically raping Jessica and making it okay by saying..."oh but Ford and Tess are great together." Who the hell knows! But, I do know that Brody is gonna have a mental breakdown when he finds out that.....*spoiler alert*.....Liam is indeed NOT his baby. Sonofabitch...Captain America can't catch a break, yo?

Yep...my heart is effing charcoal. I don't feel sorry for Langston in the slightest. The ONLY time I felt any pang of sorrow was when Blair mentioned Ray Montez! Ah! I was like OMG bring him back for a few weeks...party! Otherwise, I just didn't care she was having a pity party. And, I'm not even bitter about her scenes today because there were enough people on today that I liked and she also had Blair and Tomas to save her. Oh snap...

Can y'all believe this shit?! I had to rub my eyes and then pinch myself. Blair and Tomas had a mother effing conversation that was longer than 30 seconds each. Bad news is that Langston was like a damn leech and was just sucking on Blair the whole time so not tooo much got said. However, it was progress. I like them together I think. Now, if they start all this singin' and dancin' shit then I am gonna have to change my mind. When they discussed that Tomas played the piano, I was like "oh dear God...no. Please not today." Anyway, I want them to make out or something and I'm also ready for this Tomas/Todd thing to get underway...asap!

Ewwwwwww....speaking of music. I was watching soapnet while I was on the elliptical trainer tonight and I saw a commercial for the CHEESY ASS CD that OLTL came out with that has V-Day tunes on it or some mushy shit like that...what is this nightmare!!!!???? How embarassing. You don't see people from Y&R doing that. God, I JUST stopped seeing a therapist about the shiteous high school musical episodes and how to cope with the mess it left me in. Now this CD?! I'm gonna have to go back and have another session...ewwww. All this money I'm spending on a doctor because of this show...ah!

Rama and Vimal...hello, you two! I adore them. Vimal is such a pansy ass though, but Rama is a badass. I did love the comments he said to Tea. I get the feeling that Todd and Tea are about to be in for a whole slew of problems with their marriage. I have no basis for this but it's just a feeling. Especially if Trevor St. John MAY not renew his contract....hmmmm. I know there is more of all this tomorrow so I'll discuss it then.

Joey is the dumbest beaver in the world. OMG OMG OMG. Words can't describe my anger with this character right now. Joey: "Mi familia es su familia." Dear God, someone just take me out back and beat the shit out of me if I have to continue to hear this mess. AH!!!! Wait...did I just hear correctly?! RENEE opened up the jewelry store for Aubrey?? Yes, I heard right. Good God PLEASE show Patricia Elliot...PLEASE!!!! She opened up the jewelry store but she missed the wedding?! My ass, OLTL, my ass. Infuriating...just plain infuriating.

Ok...I know you people are probably gonna want to track me down and beat my ass for saying this but....I kinda like John and Kelly together?!?! I do. I think they kinda had chemsitry? Maybe I'm just THAT desperate for her to have chemistry with someone because she is a legacy character and I want to make this work but I dunno. Oh snap, did y'all know that Michael Easton (John McBain) does stand-up comedy in real life?! No shit...this is fact. I'd love to see it, because I'd have to see it to believe it. Sweet Lord...they had to go to the Minuteman....knew it. LOL alert...the same exact room where Eddie got killed. Ewwww! How can you have sex in that bed?! God, the germs. I'm telling you there are bedbugs there. Oh, and I stand by what I said the other day that John McBain says NOTHING before, during, or after sex.

Line of the Day... starts with Kelly to John: "I think I had too much to drink tonight." John to Kelly: "Too much or just enough?" WHAT KIND OF CHEESY ASS LINE IS THAT, JOHN McBAIN?! Fail! That is something that Vince Vaughn said to all those girls on Wedding Crashers...eww. OMG...my fiance' (Ross...I'm tired of typing fiance') was peeing on himself with laughter and said that is the best quote he has ever heard. UGH! Of course, the quote works and Kelly proceeds to drop her panties...just no.

OMG...NO!!!!!!!!!! People are in the SAME clothes tomorrow, too! STINKY CHEESE!!!!

Yes!!! Tomorrow looks awesome! We get Bo, Clint, Nora, Dorian, and Rama...nice.

I am toasting to Marty Saybrooke with my glass of wine. I miss ya homie. Please come back.

Matthew Buchanan? Are you in Llanview still? Are you even still on planet Earth??

See you kids tomorrow...

ME

Losing Steam???

Kelly: "Going to the Palace to hook up sounds just perfect, because I heard the Minuteman Motel has bedbugs."

First and foremost: I'm so sorry I didn't post yesterday. The damn day just got away from me! I looked up and it was midnight. I had to do double duty and watch yesterday's show this morning and then today's. So, here's what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna do a drive-by post of yesterday's show giving my compliments and complaints and then just do a full post for today. So...let's not waste anymore time.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Drive-By Post

1.) Thank you, Tess for saving yesterday's somewhat boring episode. I.Love.You. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure she says what I'm thinking at times, literally. Like her saying the Jess's gown looked like wet tissue or some shit...ummm....where were you for my commentary last week, Tess? Great minds think alike...hehe, kidding (kinda). Glad you're back for a bit. Oooohhhh new Jessica bumper...very nice.

2.) Dear God...Natalie, Natalie, Natalie. While I'm glad she vomited the truth out to Vicki, my heart is still black as burnt toast when it comes to her...no sympathy.

3.) Vicki...OMG how much more does this woman have to take?! I know she was getting a lot of flack on the message boards for her reaction to Natalie's confession but I'm justifying the reaction. My personal take: This woman has not had time to process ANYTHING. Hello?! The wedding fiasco (which was a myriad of things), then the Charlie shit (being missing and knowing he ordered a vodka), now this Natalie shit. Then, they are interrupted because Brody is about to beat the ever living shit out of Ford at Llanfair. OMG...this place is like Grand Central Station! Do they ever lock the doors?! I mean, think about it: Allison Perkins constantly lurked there, as did Dorian when she spied on Echo and Charlie. Nora freakin' got kidnapped leaving there and then Ford just strolls in...WTF?! Anyway, I just don't think Vicki can process ALL of this right now. I apologize...I have said "shit" way too much so far in this column. I'll just have to use another curse word.

4.) I'm tired of OLTL and teen sex. Eff this whole thing.

5.) REALLY?! You have got to be effing kidding me, OLTL! OF COURSE! Tomas just magically appears at the end...again. Will this story EVER move forward?! He and Blair just end up staring at each other in every single scene and don't say a damn word. Infuriating! I have more entertaining dialogue with my dog...UGH!

6.) Say SOMETHING positive about Langston, Mary-Ella: ummmm....her shirt is super cute. And, she was right...the guy in the fugly hat was a gigantic walking douche and she was right to be mean. Who was that random dayplayer?! No need for him, OLTL, no need! That's all I got. Otherwise, I couldn't care less she is getting stood up. The sooner she leaves town cause of her movie deal (LOL) then the better. Bitch be gone already!

7.) I'll discuss Kelly and John for Wednesday's episode.

8.) Where the HELL are the other vets!

9.) This show was slow for the second day in a row...uh oh.

Ooooooookay! Whew! Let's quickly jump on Wednesday's episode, lovlies.

Well...I've just come to the conclusion that today is effed up. Why you ask? It's over 50 degrees in Chicago in the middle of February...I've gotten a lot of job interviews this week...AND I've paused OLTL 5 times today. 5 effing times. Normally, my friends know not to bother me from the hours of 1 to 2. However, I took every single phone call today and even paused it two more times to get water or a diet coke, etc. Why am I telling you all about these mundane activities of mine? All this means I'm BORED with the show today. That's right, I'm bored with it. And, I'm mad because this is the third day in a row I'm bored. Is the show losing steam? Maybe not. Maybe I feel the way I do because last week was soooo great? Maybe because I miss ALL the vet action we've been getting as of late? Maybe because I'm over all the teen sex? I don't know what it is but I need tomorrow to be good people...what about y'all? HOWEVER....even with all I just told y'all you know what the MOST effed up thing about today is (I can't believe I'm about to type this)? The John and Kelly scenes were the most entertaining to me today...GASP!

I can't believe it! I found them quite engaging today. WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE...two MORE random day players!? And they are bikers?! WTF show? By no means did anything stellar happen in their scenes today but I just found myself enjoying them. They kind of have chemistry....yes?

I can't stomach the Dan-YELLA and Nate scenes. All I have to say is that "when did they start making condoms in those tall boxes???" Maybe I'm out of the loop? That is the most effed up looking box of condoms I've ever seen which tells me they may not be very reliable. Good thing Todd Manning seems to be better birth control than the condoms in that box. Thank God he interrupted them, huh? Ok, that's all I got for them. I'm nauseous.

Starr and James...until this moves forward I'm not saying an effing thing about them. I loved merry go-rounds as a child, but this is too much. MOVE IT ALONG! This is like an effing traffic jam that you have been stuck in for hours...you're so irritated and pissed and there is nothing you can do about it. Ugh.

Oh.Dear.God. The Blair/Tomas scenes...just no. I am DYING for these two to have awesome scenes together. They are both incredibly attractive people and great actors, but something is...missing? Wait just a damn minute...Oh.Hell.No. So, Tomas just saunters into Capricorn and talks to Blair for 2.5 seconds. THEN he just hops behind the piano and starts playing like Tony Bennett or some shit while Blair belts out a tune!?!? WTF is wrong with this?! Don't get me wrong...Kassie Depaiva has a beautiful voice but I don't give a flying flip about this song. I need these mother effers to have some dialogue...like now. Next thing you know they are gonna be dancing like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. No, OLTL, no. I will watch Turner Classic Movies, gladly, but I watch OLTL for different reasons completely. Fix this immediately. Dear God. I know it's too early for a cocktail but I just might do it...I just might. The show is infuriating me today. I just don't believe all this mystery mess. They start talking in the last two segments...finally. ugh.

Tess is by far soooooo much better than Jess and this bitch is saucy and hilarious...welcome, Tess. That's right, Ford...you are a dead-beat pedophile! Damn, Tess speaks my mind!!! Lurve her! These scenes are right behind the John and Kelly scenes. Jessica's boobs are AMAZING. Just flippin' great. Speaking of boobs...thank you, Ford for pointing out Tess' drinking and the breast feeding issue. Good point...

Oh, I'm sorry about your date, Lang. Peace out. Langston to Ford on the phone: "Are you coming or not?" LOL...ummmm apparently neither one of you will be this evening. So much for y'all's big night...sucker!

Please Todd Manning, just kill Nate. I'd be fine with it. Oh, and rumor is that Trevor St. John isn't renewing his contract in April. That kinda sucks. So, it looks like they are bringing back Roger Howarth. Hmmm. So, Todd if you are leaving...please go down in a blaze of glory and eradicate the Fords from this show. I haven't felt so much disgust for a new family since the Rappaports were shoved down our throat all those years ago. Good God. Make them go away.

Natalie...dirty hamster (thanks Jersey Shore for making me say this constantly). You and Brody are just in a mess...face it. I didn't care too much for these scenes today. This is weird because I usually find Natalie incredibly entertaining but they fell flat for me today. OMG...that baby is flippin' adorable but HUGE!!!

OMG...I loathe the KY Intense commercials. Ugh. They find the most AWKWARD human beings on the planet to discuss their products...ewww.

Where are Bo, Nora, and Clint?! I need them in my life, please. Thanks!

Half the cast has had the same outfits on for over a week...stinky cheese.

Jess' dress looks sooooo much better destroyed. Like, oh so much better.

Wait....THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nora and Bo tomorrow...yay! And, he is mad about something! yes! Wait, are you kidding me?! They are in the SAME CLOTHES still?! How in the hell is it still V-day!?!?

Sorry for the negativity today. I know I'll find tomorrow interesting just because my beloved B/N will be on but also that Rama will be on and Kelly and John do it...whoop whoop!

Again, sorry for the delayed post! See y'all late tomorrow evening. I have a late job interview tomorrow.

xoxo,

ME

Cheatin' Hearts

Charlie: "I can't believe Echo didn't tell me that the Minuteman Motel had bedbugs. I feel so betrayed."

Gosh, I feel as if I haven't done a post in forever! Hope everyone had a lovely weekend and is having an even better Valentine's Day. I personally despise Valentine's Day (just like Superbowl Sunday), but to each his own. Anyway, without further adieu let's get this ball rollin' shall we?

It's Valentine's Day in Llanview?! You could have fooled the hell out of me. Everyone looks like they either want to shoot someone or be shot...not give out hugs and roses. You know, OLTL used to do Valentine's Day sooooo right. Not so much anymore. Today just seemed like any other episode. I would have never known it was a special day...ugh. They used to do holidays right by showing big parties or different couples celebrating but not so much anymore. To be perfectly candid, I miss it. There is enough drama going on this month that I think showing some love would have been quite refreshing. Oh well. Basically, everyone was miserable today except for the newlyweds...ugh.

If I could just beat the hell out of someone no questions asked and with no chances of them slugging me back (and I mean anyone, including famous criminals or people in my real life that I loathe), I'm pretty damn sure that I'd pick Charlie Banks. Actually, I'm 100% sure. I've said before that I hate stupidity--mine or anyone else's. And, well I just can't take this shit anymore because his stupidity is dripping from my tv screen and onto my lovely hardwood floors of my apartment. This man makes me want to bash my head repeatedly against a brick wall!!! My God! I'd rather have a bunch of fresh paper cuts on my hand and then have orange juice poured all over my hand (have you ever had a paper cut then have a little orange juice get on it...omg, painful) than watch his dumbass galavant around Llanview. As Charlie's phone rings he's all like "It's just Vicki and I don't think I can deal with her right now." WHAT?!?! You can't DEAL WITH HER right now?! Kill me please...someone. What is this man talking about? The nerve he has. Between calling Llanfair HIS house and then saying Vicki is ungenerous and now saying he can't deal with Vicki...well, I'm done with Charlie. Which sucks that I don't like him because I now have my mother watching the show and she calls me up and is like "I like Charlie" and I'm like OMG his douchiness knows no bounds, mother...please. It doesn't help she watches the show sporadically...oh well. Back to my tirade on Chuckles...it's one thing to say he can't deal with Queen V but then he kisses Echo. Oy vey! Oh, and obviously the wardrobe department will only dress Kim Zimmer in shades of blue. She has only worn sea-like colors since the day she strolled into town on October 1st. Bottomline: The only way I can find peace with this story is if it ends with Vicki and Charlie divorcing. I'm sorry. I don't like people divorcing either but Vicki deserves better. I don't care how great a guy Charlie is she needs to kick his ass to the curb. There is only so much stupidity a woman can take. Charlie is about has intelligent as a Smurf (more like Smurfette. She's so stupid that she doesn't realize the whole Smurf village is using her for sex. Just like Charlie doesn't realize Echo is using him. Weird comparison but essentially the same).

I'm pretty sure I've said "poor Vicki" about 50 times within the last month. Poor little regal thing she is in all her golden-coiffed glory! OMG, I just realized: She is spending her Valentine's Day with Rex, Gigi, Gigi's dress and Gigi's raccoon/muskrat/nutria rat (aka her hair. God knows it has a life of it's own). I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy. All Vicki did was run around town trying to find Chuckles...le' sigh. I'm just at a loss of words, really. Thank God, Rex Balsom is the best P.I. in town...surely he can find Chuckles. Fear not, Vicki, fear not. Rex will save the day. OMG...Vicki and those babies! Adorbs. I want her to hold me like that after I've had a hard day.

Oooohhhhh....the Jess/Brody/Nat/John scenes were nothing short of stellar! And, I should have all these warm feelings since it is Valentine's Day and all. This meaning that I should show random acts of kindness and goodness on this day...which I am all about, really. However, I just can't find it in my heart to find a single ounce of sympathy for Natalie today. I mentally told myself before the show that I should try and feel sorry for her...um, but no. Maybe last night at mass, I should have asked God for the strength to let me feel sorry for Natalie Banks? That could've worked, no? Ya know, I'm pretty sure that Jessica could have forgiven Natalie for just sleeping with Brody but now, obviously, all bets are off that little Liam is Brody's (ummm but probably not really Brody's...this is all getting confusing). Well, John and Brody didn't say much but I absolutely loved Jess yanking the necklace off of Natalie's neck and basically saying she hates her...YES!!!! Cry Natalie...CRY! For months! The same amount of time you lied to everyone...ugh! You and your nasty hamster-like ways have finally caught up with you and I'm pumped. You're nothing but a LYING, SELFISH WHORE! Very nice, Jessica!

The one positive thing about Ford being Ryder's father: He stands Langston up for their Valentine's Day date. Evil thought? Absolutely. Do I care that it's evil? Absolutely not. Oh, and FYI: Ford both of those shirts are effing ugly. Wear neither, please. God, I hate the Ford brothers apartment...and Nate. I just want to beat his ass, too. I know I've sounded bitter during this post so far. No, I'm not a bitter shrew on Valentine's Day. My guy is just delicious and wonderful and today will be wonderful I'm sure. But, I'm only human and can only take so much terribleness...no matter what holiday, even if it's Christmas and someone gave me a new car...this awfulness would still bother me. Grrr. Anyway, I'm gonna wait and discuss Ford and the baby thing once I see more. I'm still sticking by my "Ford is the father to tie him to the canvas theory." Regardless, I'm gonna feel sorry for Brody (maybe because I think he is on his way out of this show...not sure).

I'm also not discussing Nate and Dan-YELLA until tomorrow because I know Todd walks in on them tomorrow during sex or almost sex or whatever...I don't effing care. Maybe God will spare me from seeing those scenes tomorrow somehow...divine intervention at its best if this happens.

Oh.My.God. This Aubrey/Joey wedding is nothing short of terrible...like Godfather Part III terrible. This is just awful. I can't believe I'm watching it. I'm disgusted and insulted. Yucky. I STILL have a feeling that Alex Olanov is gonna be Aubs' mother. They are both blonde, Buchanan chasing, manipulative gold diggers. This could work...it really could.

At this rate, I'm ok with knowing John and Kelly are gonna have sex. Maybe because I just want Kelly to get some action and I want John to hurt Natalie. God, I bet John McBain says NOTHING before, during, or after sex. I'm not talking about having a conversation about British literature or evolution during sex...just talking in general. If anything, he would just whisper a word or two in his FBI investigator-like voice...like "thanks" or "I'm sorry." That's all he'd say. How boring. I would not want to sleep with him, but oh well. YUCKY.

Today's show was ok. I'm betting on Wednesday being the best since last week's Wednesday show was great. Oh, and tomorrow will suck a bit because it will be Starr/James and Dan-YELLA/Nate and all their V-Day escapades. I'll make sure to go throw soap in my eyes during those scenes.

Oh, and did anyone watch the '95 episode from Friday. God, I thought it was awesome but THEY EDITED THE SHOW....what?! Yes, they did! I wanted to see the Tina and Susannah discussion and it was edited out...whannn. How young did everyone look?! Bo Buchanan looked like a baby...too cute.

I miss Marty the Martyr...anyone else? I also wanted one of the elder Buchanan men on today...whannn!

Where the hell is Dorian?! Hopefully being the mayor somewhere because God knows they never show her performing her mayoral duties.

Where is Inez? Who the hell cares...not me. I'm guessing she is baking cookies. Or is she in jail? We don't know what happened after she got carried out of Clint "I'll slap you with my pimp hand" Buchanan's office.

OH....and question of the day: who in the HELL let Ford just wander into Llanfair?!?! He just appeared out of nowhere like a baby snatcher...eww.

Glad to be back, peeps! See you darlings tomorrow!

ME

Back in the Day

Hey, the writing for us now may suck but back in the 1990's we were super awesome. Remember that!

I'll discuss the pic later...

Holy hell...someone just shoot me. Immediately. Nate, Ford, and James...AND Langston AND Starr AND Dan-yella. Good God almighty. It is gonna take a lot for me to get through this episode today. I can handle this episode for the following reasons:
1.) Yesterday's episode was the epitome of awesomeness. Thumbs up.
2.) I was already prepared for a shitty episode today thanks to the lame previews for today (and the craptastic "sneak peek" online for today's show).
3.) I took 3 Advil about an hour ago to handle the impending headache.

I don't want to hear the Fords discuss virginity and sex. I wouldn't feel this way if it was somebody else but my biggest issue with this is that Nate is discussing having sex with Dan-yella and that gives me the creeps because he is like 25 and she is 16 (in real life). Now...if they were each 10 years older then the age difference wouldn't be as bad...but NOT at this stage in the game. Grrr. I refuse to discuss these scenes further because I might go into the kitchen right now and attempt to slit my wrists with a butter knife.

All good things must come to an end. So, it pains me to say (not really) that I cannot show leniency regarding these Lang and Starr scenes. I was soooooo close to throwing my high heel at the tv, but I paid a lot of money for this huge flat screen. So, my good judgment is still intact despite the fact my brain most definitely lost some intelligence by watching these utterly horrifying scenes. I just keep reminding myself that not all days can be like yesterday...le' sigh. God...how awesome would it be if EVERYDAY was like yesterday? Wishful thinking but still...

Jessica can't catch an effing break. Can you imagine all this on your wedding day?! "Oh hey Jess, before you tie the knot you need to know that you practically got raped by a guy that is now a hot dog and turns out he is the father of your kid. P.S. your husband-to-be drunkenly effed your sister. Peace out. I'm surprised Jessica pieced together all the Natalie and I might have conceived on the same day business. Despite having a ton of shit dropped on her today, she is acting somewhat coherent...surprisingly. Credit where credit is due, Bree Williamson's reactions are spot on!!! OMG...the more full-length views of her dress I see the more I loathe it. Please just show waist up shots...please! Obviously someone who is blind and below the age of 5 or something like that sewed together the dress from the waist down. If a designer or seamstress made that shit, then they should just go jump off a cliff because no one will hire them after this.

LOL...John: "How does Marty fit into all of this?" God...more like why isn't Marty here to tell me all this!? At least that was what I was hoping...just kidding. But I can't lie, I miss her psychotic ass. Wait...shut the front door! Was that what I think it was?! Did I see John McBain tear up? I think I saw a little moisture in those eyes. OMG...sure enough...it is!!! He was crying!!! Despite my anger towards the dirty hamster, you have to say that Melissa Archer is a phenomenal actress. Michael Easton is killng it, too! These scenes are so badass! Nice comparison: Clint and Natalie trying to control everything and play God. Man, I never thought to compare the two. Hmmm. Excellent point, John McBain: Chief of Detectives. I am going to hold off on discussing whether I think that Natalie's baby is indeed John's. Right now, I just can't wrap my mind around all of this but I know there has to be more to it than "it's Brody's baby...that's it." This is a soap opera after all. I'll discuss this more next week. I didn't get too much sleep last night, so I think discussing it now would not be wise.

HERE IS MY REAL PROBLEM WITH TODAY: I'm fed up with this nonsense. Ah! OMG OMG OMG.
Dear Writers, PLEASE for the love of God start writing intelligently for Kelly and Joey!!!! These are two legacy characters that look like FOOLS!!! Kelly has been on the show for months and they make her look like a douche constantly. Poor Joey has been on for a fraction of the time Kelly has and he looks even more pitiful. Please fix this. kisses, Mary-Ella.
UGH!!!!!! Obviously, you can tell how frustrated I am by my picture. My God, Joey and Kelly used to be fantastic. I just need to go on and get over this and do it quickly because I'm beginning to vomit all over this column about how bad Joey is...and Kelly. Anyway, I was prepared for these scenes because of the spoilers but it is still so painful to watch. The Joey/Aubs wedding will no doubt make me physically ill I'm sure. For people who think I'm being dramatic, I understand but I know a lot of people feel the way I do if you know just how truly awesome these two people used to be. I'm just sad. :(

Cutter: "If this is how Llanview does weddings...I don't want to see a funeral. Sorry I tend to make jokes in socially awkward situations." haha...funerals ARE bad in Llanview. Let me see...God, poor Jared's funeral was a nightmare. Mitch Lawrence jumping out of his casket was bizarre and unrealistic. On a positive note, I loved Natalie at that point on the show. Before that, years ago you had Nora's funeral when she was "dead" after the trainwreck and R.J. and Bo got into a huge fight. Lord, that funeral was even televised in Llanview and Nora was watching it on tv from her bed at Cherryvale. Yikes! God, I got way off topic. Anyway, there is no way Cutter saved their asses with the jump drive. No way. Then again, this technologically savvy guy is also the one who "fixed" the yearbook, remember? My ass...

Whoa...Tea just said she pre-ordered the sesame crusted tuna on her RSVP for Jessica and Natalie's wedding. An RSVP...really?! Really show?! Ummmm...there is no way in hell that happened. Oh what am I talking about...there is no way the invitations got printed that quickly and sent out. So there sure as hell wasn't enough time for these mo fo's to send back RSVPs. Over the top, OLTL. I'd like to thank Todd Manning's twisted wit for making me smile. His disturbing jokes were the comedic relief I needed to counterbalance the atrocious teen scenes today. And this is saying a lot because for the most part I think Todd, Tea and Dan-yella together are all boring...at least lately. Todd and Tea alone...I'm fine with watching. I want to see more spunk in Todd and Tea's relationship. WHOA! Wait...who called Todd?!?!?! WTF. That was getting interesting...ugh! Of course, the show will be over.

Can I just say that the sanctuary at St. James looks like a homeless shelter compared to the side rooms!!! OMG...those little rooms that Nat/John and Jess/Brody are in are soooo nice and decorated quite tastefully. I noticed this back in June for Bo and Nora's wedding but I wasn't blogging then and I just had to point it out now. If I were these people, I'd request to get married in one of those rooms and not the actual sanctuary...for sure!

OMG...if that is really Clint or Cutter's handwriting in that note to Kelly then he and my second grade teacher have the exact same print.

Ummm....paging Matthew Buchanan. *crickets*

The flan at the Buenos Dias must be THAT good. For years, all I've seen is everyone eating and talking about it. Hmmm...

The Nat/Jess scenes are going to be sooooo effing good!!! I cannot wait!!!

I don't know if I'm going to post tomorrow since it is a rerun episode from '95. However, I'm forever thankful that it isn't some random, terrible 2006 episode (OMG such an awful time during the show...UGH) and that they chose to show a real "classic" episode. I may post just because this was such a GREAT period of time of OLTL.

Hope everyone has a lovely rest of the day!!!
ME

Food for Thought

Jessica: "You mean to tell me that Ryder's real father is a hot dog? This is so embarrassing, Daddy."

Hot damn! I was physically nervous today watching the show. I literally was gripping my hands so tight that I made half-moon indentations on my palms. The big reveal was made and the fallout was nothing less than stellar...let's go.

OMG...poor Jessica and Brody. Ok, so let's see: Vimal flipped a coin and picked Jessica's and switched it to say Brody. So does that mean Nat's kid is really Brody's? It appears that way but I wonder...Marty did go into the DNA lab and I'm curious if she changed it. This is far fectched but it's a thought. I love it. Jessica: "Mom it had to have been mine....Natalie didn't have a paternity test!" Good God. Now everyone, including Clint, is like "oh shit." Anyway, poor thing. Sidenote: Bree Williamson can cry on cue and her tears are HUGE! Good girl and great acting. The Brody and Jessica discussion was awesome (once I rewatched them because I was staring at her boobs too much the first go round), and I totally understand Brody's reasoning for not wanting to go ahead and marry Jessica. He thinks all of this is happening because of his own lying about sleeping with Natalie. He now believes he is being punished. I do the same thing so his reaction was spot on, in my opinion. Rumor is that Brody goes off the deep-end from all this fallout (good God...AND Tess...they did indeed meet at St. Anne's, yo?) and maybe he leaves the show...who knows. But, I saw the Tess trying to jump out of Jess when Brody dropped the "I slept with Natalie" bombshell. Not to mention Jess is trying to cope with the fact that Ryder's father is of the wiener-schnitzel variety. I can't wait to see the rest.

Maybe I literally have ice running through my veins thanks to the Siberian tundra-like conditions in Chicago right now, but I do NOT feel sorry for Natalie. AT ALL. Zero...Nada...None. I just can't. Poor John. Lord, this dirty little hamster STILL tried to lie to John when confronted! This is just so effing dumb. Natalie you are cornered...give it up. When John screamed "Stop lying to me", I was like "OMG I've been yelling this at the effing tv to Natalie...for months...months!" She deserves this fallout, I'm sorry. And, I genuinely liked Natalie before all this mess but her lies have just spiraled out of control and I'm over them...and over her for the time being. I'm perfectly fine with John leaving her after all this shit. I'd also LOVE a Marty/Natalie confrontation soon...awesome town. John and Natalie scenes def delivered...for shizzle.

Clint has become one mean sonofabitch. Just when I think his heart can't get any more black, it does...at least what little heart he has left. I think he is finally realizing that his actions have only hurt the ones he tried so hard to protect but I still believe that he thinks he did the right thing...with everything. He really was trying to justify his actions but I just don't think it's going to fly. Supposedly, we are gonna get to see the Buchanans having to take sides between Bo and Clint...should be delicious. Oh...and WTF is up with Clint's super creepy bloodshot eye?!

Oh, Nora spoke more than three words today...nice. God, I just love Bo and I love that he was thinking of every reason to arrest Clint but he was saying the wrong things. Like, you broke into the lab...LOL. He didn't, but Bo could arrest Clint for conspiracy. Hell, maybe an accessory before the fact but that's it. Otherwise they don't have probable cause to arrest at the moment for any of his other crimes. Nora should have just flat out used the conspiracy card in regards to getting Vimal to break into the lab. Oh, and I wasn't expecting for Bo to actually arrest Clint. I hadn't read it anywhere. I'd love to see some scenes with Rama/Vimal and Bo/Nora/Clint at the police station tomorrow but I doubt we will. I'm ok with this only because I get to see Bo and Nora just being their awesome selves on Friday during the 1995 episode. Oh, and Asa, Alex and Susannah...oh my! Excitement Excitement! :)

I can't believe I'm saying this but the Ford and Lang scenes did not make me physically ill. I'm shocked as hell myself, but it's true. Like, my lunch stayed in my stomach...unbelievable. Fact: Miracles happen...for all you non-believers. Oh, hey Hope! Nice to see you. OF COURSE, your mother isn't around. It's not like mothers are supposed to care for their children so it's perfectly understandable she would be with Lang, the new babysitter. UGH. Starr is NEVER with Hope. OLTL could make such a statement if they showed the struggles of being a teen mom, but Starr just saunters around town and leaves Hope with babysitters that wind up getting killed. Boo. Sorry...back to Lang and Ford. Ford in the schnitzel duds helped me get through these scenes. Granted, I didn't really care for all the sexual/hot dog jokes because those were lame as hell. Fact: All sexual/hot dog jokes are lame and people need to be bludgeoned if they use them. AND....they didn't dwell too much on the "I'm so excited we get to have sex because it's Valentine's Day" thing. The scenes were quick enough for me not to scream at the tv. WAIT...it's Valentine's Day?! I just realized I typed this. So, it's gonna be V-Day for a week in Llanview. Unreal. Oh, and this may be a totally unpopular opinion, but you KNOW some of you thought Ford was cute playing with Hope. Come on people...it was adorbs. With all of his "I might have been a good dad" talk, you can tell the writers are REALLY wanting the audience to open up to Ford and the fact that he will be Ryder's father because....dun dun dun...he isn't going anywhere. I know there is a lot of talk of some of the Fords leaving town (if this is my last request on Earth it would be this), but he is now tied to this canvas because of Ryder. Soooo....the writers want us to like him because he is staying. That is the only way I see it but who knows.

God, here is another thing I can't believe I'm gonna say today: I kinda/sorta felt sorry for Starr today. Lord have mercy. Obviously, I'm feeling magnanimous today. I think I'm just being nice because the wedding stuff was sooooooooo effing good that I was much more tolerant of the characters I normally crucify. Anyway, Starr FINALLY after months of angst decides to give it a go with James and now she is gonna think he slept with abstinence club girl (although not really anymore because she wanted to jump the gun. people who just started reading my posts won't get this joke) or Bambi...whatever her name is. I agree with Ford when he told Lang that James would wait on Starr forever. I don't see them being apart long and I'm sure Starr and James will work something out.

Oh, hey Destiny...sup? How was that kiss with Matthew? You would think her lips would have been swollen but I'm assuming she put some ice on them. Oh, and I just didn't get the scenes with Sean and the manicurist...like WTF was that about? And what for? So random. The manicurist got on my nerves and she didn't even really say much. She was too trashy. Yes, that's harsh but I don't care. Oh, and Roxy is still hungover with an ice pack? My ass. I just think that the manicurist/Sean scenes could have been more Destiny/Sean time. That would have been better and she could have discussed her kiss with Matthew more and how proud she is to have the longest kiss on record. Something to be proud of if you ask me.

God...today is full of shockers, huh? Including in this post because....another surprise: Joey didn't get on my nerves today. Hell has frozen over (at least here in Chicago). I will say that I have ALWAYS loved Joey and Vicki's relationship. We haven't seen much of it since he has made his return but I wish we could. I think Joey is Vicki's favorite...my opinion only. In my eyes, toddler Joey moved from picture books to pop up books today for defending Vicki...BIG STEP!

Speaking of Vicki...she didn't do much today except go off on Clint a bit. Hopefully we will see more of her reaction to all this soon AND, more importantly, an awesome confrontation between her and Clint. I want them to really argue over this.

Anyone miss Marty? God knows I do...like I'm sad. I need her daily dose of crazy so I can feel sane about my own life. Except now when I see her I want her to always have the voodoo doll with her that Hope man-handled at St. Anne's. It just adds to the crazy...loves it.

Oh, and if I was about to have sex and that God forsaken music was playing like it was in James' room today then I would probably swear off sex for a year. That music was painfully awful and my eardrums suffered greatly and makes me want to harm myself. It was like tribal music or something...ugh. Where are the Barry White tunes? ;) haha...j/k

I'm about to jinx everything I'm sure but...how great is it to not have Inez and Nate around? It's been such a treat.

So, we are coming off the best episode of 2011 practically so I'm thinking tomorrow probably won't be as good. Confirmation of my thought thanks to the previews...ugh. Hopefully the John and Natalie stuff will deliver and maybe we will get some Jessica and Brody stuff. Fingers crossed.

See you kids tomorrow!
ME