First and foremost, let's all give a big WELCOME BACK to Roxanne Bolsom. I've missed you and your hilarious quotes and so has everyone else. Hopefully, we will see you more than once every blue moon. Now, only if we can get Renee and Nigel back. Damn, I mean Renee has been mentioned twice in two weeks! I need to see my favorite former madame, Renee Divine...please OLTL, I'm begging. Oh, before I give Friday's commentary...
UTTERLY DELICIOUS NEWS
Spoilers, peeps. FYI.
Drum roll please......Alex effing Olanov is coming back to Llanview!!! AH!!! I'm dancing in my living room now and popping champagne! My favorite of Asa's wives. Hello?! The Egyptian themed Cleopatra wedding...so over the top and obnoxious. I hope she is brought on for more than a day. Anticipation is killing me. Ah.
How YOU doin?! That's right...now Wendy Williams is coming to Llanview. She is gonna be a talk show host that does a show called "Access Llanview." The show will feature the recent shenanigans of Llanview's most powerful family the Buchs. She mentioned it on her show the other day. I know a lot of people are livid since they think it's stupid she is coming on, but it's good for the show and people who watch her show (and there are a LOT of people who watch it) will tune in to see her and I hope that makes some other people start watching the show. Anything to help OLTL in the long run...I'm all about it.
Oh, and the much anticipated and discussed re-run episode coming up in February: Blair and Todd's November 14, 1995, wedding. So, is Roger Howarth coming back to Llanview?? Sources say he is but I just don't know how they would portray him. Granted he is my favorite Todd Manning but he would have to come back in some other form. All re-run episodes relate to an upcoming story, so he must be coming back. By the way, can I say how great this episode is?! It features all GREAT characters: Marty, Patrick, Bo, Nora, Susannah (how I miss Nora's smart sister...and her relationship with Larry Wolek), Alex, Asa, Clint, Tina, Cord, Nigel, Maggie, Andrew, Cassie, Kelly, Joey, Dorian, Addie, Viki, CJ, Sarah, Blair, and Todd are all in the episode. Alex is running for mayor in this episode and Blair and Todd's wedding is over the top with gold balloons and all. Gonna be great. When OLTL WAS THE SHIZ!
Ok, y'all have had enough right? Onto Friday...
I am not a conceited person. Granted, I'm pretty self-deprecating for the most part. But, I have to start off by tooting my own horn for a moment. I was RIGHT ON THE MONEY in my December 17, 2010, column about Nate Salinger. Boo-yah!!!! That's right. I knew that little bastard framed Todd when he dropped off Dan-yella that night. If you don't believe me, go look. Sorry, I just am so proud of myself on this. I was spoiler free and fantasized this all up a while back so...yay. I talked about my Nate theory when I was discussing the suspect list. Ok, I won't be this obnoxious again...sorry.
Since I was discussing Nate, I'll continue the courtroom talk. People on the boards were upset with the courtroom antics and how the judge handled all the theatrics. Yes, he should have kicked Todd out but otherwise everything else was ok. Sure, there was some screaming and stuff but Nora didn't object to Tea's questioning. So, unless the D.A. objects then Tea has the right to go on. That's just the way it is. Anyway, everyone and their long lost father knew Nate didn't kill Eddie. So, he just thinks his mom did it since the gun was there? I am confused about that. God, Inez looks so meek and lowly on the witness stand. Man, I thoroughly relished Tea going after her ass. She is awesome in the courtroom. Speaking of that, writers: Please make Nora a defense attorney again. Several reasons: 1. That is how she was brought onto the show. 2. It made for GREAT material for her and Bo being on opposite sides. 3. Hello, ummm she won an effing EMMY for her work as the defense attorney for the Spring Fling rape trial. Oh, and how we can forget Dorian's trial for murdering Victor Lord. AWESOME TOWN!!! She deserves better courtroom material. God, since I'm already off topic lemme just go further. For the life of me, I cannot understand why NO ONE and I mean NO ONE has discussed Nora's kidnapping!!!! WTF is going on in Llanview, let alone at the LPD? REALLY SHOW? REALLY? The D.A. and wife of the Police Commisioner for crying out loud was kidnapped and held hostage and almost raped and NO ONE is discussing it?! Hell, Bo acts like he forgot about it. Is everyone drinking Kool-Aid in Llanview??? This is crazy! I mean, does Clint even know how dangerous things got? This needs to be addressed cause it is a HUGE hole in the writing. This story could be a good one and go on for while and be totally milked...or at least I hope so. Man, I'm exhausted after that. Anyway, Inez didn't kill him...I think. But we shall see...
Well, let's just go on and for the record books say Clint is a cold-hearted bastard. Rex is his SON for crying out loud. I just don't get this. He didn't act like this when he found out Cord was his son...or at least not as badly. I don't know why Rex is this huge exception? I mean, besides Rex his only biological child is Natalie. He adopted everyone else. I just don't get it. Anyway, Clint is unraveling...and I can't wait for the backlash.
Dare I say, I'm developing a soft-spot for Vimal?! Sure, he does really ditzy things (I CANNOT believe Clint trusts him with all this information) but I find him likable. I know he comes clean next week about the paternity swap so this ought to be good. So, let's do this paternity thing shall we? Ok, so we can conclude Vimal switched Natalie Banks' results since he didn't know Clint had TWO daughters having tests done. Therefore, John is indeed the father of Natalie's baby but Vimal made it say Brody. AND, since Vimal supposedly only switched Natalie's results that means Brody is indeed the father of Jessica's baby. Ok, groovy we have that straight. Now, of course, I have no idea what Marty did when she was checking the results. So, who the hell knows.
While we are on babies, let's discuss their parents. Jessica and Brody are pretty effing adorable and that's all I have to say about them. Oh Natalie, I mean I used to like you...really, I did. But this lie is OUT OF CONTROL and for NO REASON!!!! This is stupid. Plain and simple. There was no need to lie about all of this in the first place and now it has snowballed! The Natalie of like, I dunno, 2005 wouldn't have done this. This is a crock.
How in the world did Marty get out of those restraints?! And then put Roxy in the bed?! Lord have mercy! And, not to mention, you mean to tell me NO ONE saw her leave the room, go to her office and get her white coat, and then walk back to the nursery? PUH-LEEZE show! Everyone in the hospital knows that Dr. Marty Saybrooke has flipped and being restrained in the bed and no one pays attention to her roaming the halls? Just. Not. Believable.
That's my two cents. I'm exhausted from typing up 2 columns. All I can say is I'm so damn excited about this week. I believe we get the unraveling of Clint Buchanan and I CANNOT WAIT for Bo to pull his gun on Clint in the barn. AWESOME TOWN.
Happy Sunday Funday!