Monday, January 17, 2011

Mommy's Here...


Applause! Applause! Kudos to Susan Haskell for making me truly believe she has lost her mind just like a deranged woman out for revenge on the Lifetime Movie Network. Too bad her recent performances can't go on this year's Emmy reel. =( She has thoroughly entertained me for weeks and now I'm sad she is getting towed away to everyone's favorite crazy house, St. Anne's. This means we probably aren't going to see much of her. Man, if the writers were really on their game then she and Hannah O'Connor would be roommates...Oh.Hell.Yes. How delicious would those two be together? Hate each other at first and plot to kill each other then ultimately befriend one another and then successfully escape and wreck havoc on Llanview. Wishful thinking. Le' sigh.

On that note, I do think John truly does love Natalie, etc. However, I've said it for awhile now and even today you can tell he truly does care for Marty. Yes, he was nervous that Marty was about to kidnap the McBundle of Joy but he knew Marty would never hurt the little one. I think he will feel some sort of guilt down the road for making Marty lose her marbles. And, Natalie...oh Natalie. See, I used to FLOVE her but I just cannot accept all of her lies and deception. Sure, Nattie can scheme with the best of them when need be but it is just out of character for her to just lie for months on end like she has. Especially since she had no effing reason to lie in the first place with all this shiz. Yes, I know I keep talking about this but the show is killing Natalie's character...ugh! And, I am just not buying Natalie as a new mom. Hopefully she will show more motherly traits but as of right now I'm just not seeing it. Maybe because I am still thinking of her driving the get away car last February up on Llantano Mountain and yelling "Eat my dust bitches!" I just think of that and then can't imagine her being all maternal a year later. This isn't objective, just my own stupid thoughts...

Ok, granted OLTL completely botched the much anticipated return of Gina Tognoni's Kelly Cramer. However, over the past few weeks her story seems to be getting on track. Actually, in my eyes it's official and this happened when in response to Rex asking if she thought Cutter was REALLY Aubrey's brother she said "Hell no. I think Aubrey's a lying little bitch." I'm sold. I believe her and I want the bad ass and awesome Kelly Cramer from days of old to be back in full effect. Now, I think we are getting somewhere. Also, I like Kelly and Rex together. Romantically?? Eh, I'm not sure, but I do indeed like them working together. Oh, and I'm not feeling Cutter. Thank you God he is not on contract. I just don't think he is that great of an actor, I don't. I'm sure the show will test his chemistry with Kelly (Hello, they have with every other man with a penis on the show and she has had zero spark with anyone...except Rex kind of). Anyway, I hope he doesn't stay long. He is a means to an end in my opinion.

And...Aubrey. I seriously loathe this tramp. HELLO?! She kissed Cutter in the middle of the gym then kissed Joey immediately after...all in the first segment! I know what the show is going to do with her and I'm not gonna like it. Aubrey will start to develop serious feelings for her mark, Joey, and then she will want to be with him, etc. and out Cutter and then she and Joey will find their way back to each other and she will then become an all around good person and then I'm sure she will eventually win the Llanview Woman of the Year Award. Wait! Why don't they do that awesome ass ceremony anymore?!?! My God, the BEST drama unfolds at that awards banquet. Hello?! Nora and the baby drama, Rae Cummings not being a doctor, Lindsay Rappaport getting arrested...the list goes on. Bring it back OLTL...BRING IT BACK! Anyway, I then proceeded to despise Aubs even more when she pretended that Kelly hurt her. Oh, and Joey continues to be an imbecile...worse by the day. Sadly, he only gets redeemed in my eyes for the brief moments he is wearing next to nothing...and not speaking a word. Then when he talks, I feel my dislike for him begin to grow again. So, basically I need him to wear next to nothing and just smile and I enjoy him. You know, maybe there is a trend going on in Llanview. I mean, Bo just go his brain back about 24 minutes into last Thursday's episode (and God knows his brain has been MIA since the beginning of November), so maybe we will ALL get lucky and Joey will regain some intelligence soon. Then, I will like him when he wears clothes and speaks sentences. I'd like to say Charlie will be in this category as well, but I'm afraid that may not happen. Fingers crossed.

Ok, of course Nate NOR Inez killed Eddie. It's just not possible. I'm gonna stick with what I said weeks ago: I personally think Clint knows who did it. I don't think he did it. I think Matthew did. I gave my theory in my December 17, 2010 column, on that but I may go on and just stick with it but I could be wrong. I'll elaborate in a later column about the killer. But, I'll say that without a doubt, 110%, etc. that Nora is key due to that missing chunk of time. But she didn't do it since that is a repeat of the demise of the ever so handsome and creepy yet sexy Colin McIver (my God I long for the days of Ty Treadway...he was the best eye candy...OMG.) OH...and, Hello? Nora mentioned TWICE today that she had nothing to do with the killing of Eddie. Foreshadowing much? The killer will be revealed during February sweeps I'm sure. Ugh...does anyone want to sock Nate?! Sonofabitch, I can't stand him. Again, I think because he looks more like my age instead of 10 years younger...the age he is portraying. He gets set free next week...all rejoice! All rejoice! (This is when I wish I had a video blog because the sarcasm is on my face when I say "rejoice." Maybe I can start making videos...it's a thought.)

Sweet Lord! Of course Inez, it took you the whole effing episode to spit out the truth! I'm just so glad this ball got rolling. Bo, looked like, I dunno, 10 years younger after Inez broke the truth and I also enjoyed the smile and look of relief across Nora's face. Sidenote: I love that Hillary Smith remains to have that bronze "I just came back from the beach look" all year round. Lovely lovely. It really looks great on her. Now...bring on the unraveling of Dark Clint!!!!

DAMN! You mean to tell me that tomorrow is my birthday (yes, for real) and Langston has to be on?! REALLY? REALLY SHOW?! Looks like I'm gonna have to pour my glass of wine earlier than anticipated...just boo on you Langston for ruining my birthday. However, amazeballs! Inez gets arrested and Echo is back tomorrow...woo hoo!!!!

xoxo,
ME

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