Friday, November 18, 2011

I Feel Hungover From The Blair/Tomas and Jess/Ford Sex. Need Advil.

Victoria: "Jessi, you know we love you but we can't let you stay here if you are going to wear that coat. If you want to keep wearing it then I suggest you go back to Mr. Ford's."

Woo hoo it's Friday! Sorry...I've been MIA. We have just been really busy this week. Ok, I am gonna have to do two drive-bys this morning in order for me to fit in both episodes (sorry! But I got up an hour earlier to do it if that is any consolation!). I will try and respond to all comments over the weekend. I have a full evening tonight so I won't be back around until tomorrow at least. Oh, I miss the days I could get on this blog while at work...le sigh.

Wednesday, November 16th--McBain's Busy. Addie Cramer Was The Only Volunteer for Today.

1. Jesus, I haven't had my fist sip of coffee yet (too hot) but I have to be subjected to Llanview's own Olympic gymnast, Blair Cramer, after her tumbling session. I'm not gonna lie--hate that she slept with ToeMass (awesome nickname courtesy of cri*cri aka young boots...thanks doll). Between this awful, slow motion sex and Jess and Ford's equally atrosh love making session I feel that it is only fair if Rick the Porn Guy comes in and gives them a tutorial on how to do this right. Seriously. Times...there is drool or some other substand on Tomas' pillowcase. To the right of his head...eww. Oh Blair...that robe. Just no. LOL is that wine the same kind Tomas drank in Paris!? I also need for Tomas to blow out those candles.
2. This fireman isn't convincing. Sorry.
3. WORD. Y'all missed Baker? I have...can't lie. Baker=worst agent of all time. And I love that he is a bad agent. Oh and RH looks handsome...haven't said that today. Just in case y'all forgot.
4. I think that Nigel should go and get his head checked out. I mean...if we can learn anything from Natasha Richardson or Matthew Buchanan it is to not take head injuries lightly. May I just give Nigel a hug...and some milk and cookies? He deserves them. Sweet thing.
5. I love that Brody picked Sydney, Australia. Niiiice. What is it with people in Llanview carrying around all this cash?! Between the wad that Brody just pulled out and the $100 in Nora's cleavage at the wedding...well I'm just confused.
6. ALEXANDRA!!!!! Cool. Alex Olanov will be Cutter and Kim's mom. Doesn't she come back soon?
7. Before this show ends, I'd like someone to explain to me how the Llanview docks work. I know there is the Llantano River but where does it feed into etc.? I just wanna know a little geography. That's all.
8. John McBain will without a doubt get Liam back and I'm gonna believe that he will do it in the most badass way.
9. Rex has been a spazoid all episode. Oh and I haven't discussed Vimal & Co. Sorry 'bout that. hehe.
10. I think that this has been the longest day in Llanview history...I swear to God.

Thursday, November 17th--Alex's Leopard Jacket...That's All.

1. FINALLY! It's a new day! Praise God! WHAT IS JESSICA WEARING?! Remove it immediately. Ford...it's "keep things between you and me" not "you and I." UGH. I hate the way Ford holds his fork to cut food. And, Jessica's coat is hella trashy and she needs to remove that shit immediately. It looks cheap.
2. PEEING! Did John McBain raid Clint's closet while he was at Llanfair?! I've never seen John wear a shirt like that? Next stop, Brooks Brothers. I mean...as if Bo wouldn't be around to help John. I was hoping they would show Brody today. I want to see Liam dammit! That's right, Natty, John is gonna bring Liam back home because he is like the biggest badass Llanview has ever seen!!! Ok so I need this kidnapping thing to pick up again...feel it is kinda dying down.
3. Oh be still my heart...Clint and Vicki and too increase the adorableness factor Vicki is toting Ryder. Cannot handle this preciousness. I love that Vicki said Inez was babysitting Ryder and Clint's like "was she?" Ok so the Clint of a year ago would be like a damn ninja at this point and doing anything he could to find Brody and Liam. Yes, I am aware Clint's on house arrest but I'm just sayin'. Clint's little speech to Nigel was so sweet...he's part of the family. Tear. Seriously if Nigel dies I'll lose it! How adorbs are Roxanne and Victoria?! Discussing the good qualities Natty has from each of them. I LOVE THIS.
4. And, I want to just go on and get ready for work...REALLY?! Mestiny today?! Jesus H. Christ. Small favor...it's Friday. Ok so just to be fair to everyone I can't discuss Mes. I will just say mean things and I just don't feel like going down that road today. I'll just have to talk about someone else instead. ;)
5. Roxy do NOT call Marty a whack job! I love that Roxy said that Nigel was on the front line defending Liam. LOL!!!! Nigel said his numchucks weren't handy. Adorbs! Nigel needs his head checked out! DAMMIT!!! Ummmm NO! All this mess about Nigel's life flashing before his eyes. UGH. I swear if he is the one that dies next Wednesday I'll lose my shit!
6. Oh damn...I love Stacy/Gigi's shirt. Would be so cute with black skinny jeans and some boots. Le sigh. She needs a necklace though.
7. I just have to say it...I hate the effing Llanview airport because I hate the walls! That glassy shit is like a bad bathroom.
8. Snap...does anyone watch "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?" Ok so the chick who works for Dr. Fasinella (sp?) looks just like Mohammed's (Lisa's rich friend) young European girlfriend.
9. SNAP!!!!!! It's Alex!!!!!!!!!! Her outfit is so sass. Oh I have missed her. I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT!!! Please let her return not be botched like the last one.
10. Jesus...hands down the best part of the show was Roxy telling Victoria and Clint (who is delicious by the way...in case y'all forgot) that Jessica was doing the walk of shame. I LOVE IT!!!! Oh and my heart skipped a beat when Vicki lovingly looked at Clint as he talked to Shane.
11. AS IF Aubs made it through security and to the airport that quickly. AS IF!!!!

Ah! I have to go asap! I'll see y'all soon! Have a fun-filled Friday!!!!

infinite xo,
ME

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