I'll Have Friday's Episode and Two Excedrin Migraine, Please.

Marty: "Well, John and I are back together and stronger than ever. Also, Mary-Ella told me she would prefer watching us just stare at each other than watch the rest of this shit show today."

Lord...two posts in one day! I thought I would have done it earlier, but I had to watch "The Good Wife" from last week before my DVR deleted it. Can't have that. Ok, I have a lot to do before I get up at the crack of dawn so let's go on and do this. Hopefully there will be no Blogger mishaps, because God knows my ass can't mentally handle another screw-up! WOOF!

Friday, May 6th

Sidenote: I hate how the promos are for shit that doesn't happen until the following week. Annoying!

OMG I want to jump Ted King! Right there! On that damn table at the LPD...I do NOT care at this point. I have no shame...

Todd is drinking out of a juicebox...cute.

Lawd...now Dan-YELLA and Starr. I have a feeling I am not gonna like this episode already and I'm just a minute into the show. DAMMIT TO HELL! I need ONE of the fab five on...just one for crying out loud! That's right Starr. Nate is REALLY onto something about Tomas. How smart is he?! OMG...I bet that bastard wins at "Clue" EVERY SINGLE TIME he plays. He is THAT good. Woof!

NOOOOOO!!!!! Karma Gods, 4. Mary-Ella, 0. NQS!!!??? Why?! Now Dayt-en and James. Kill me. How about I just turn this shit off?!

Aaaaaand, the Karma Gods just did the final coup de grace (can't get my "a" to have the correct symbol) by throwing NuJack's ass on my screen. Times--have y'all seen his ass on the Ringpop commercial?! Atrosh! I f*@king quit and am doing a drive by because this shit is flippin' ridiculous and I feel defeated. Sonofabitch. It'll be longer than my normal drive-bys though...fret not.

Minuteman Version of Friday's Shitfest

1. Blair is sex on a damn stick and I'm pretty sure that I'd do her.

2. Aaaaaand, thank God I decided on a drive-by because Gigi's mop is on.

3. Dr. Buhari's secretary needs to find a pair of scissors and cut that mop.

4. I'm so damn thankful for Natalie being on this episode.

5. Marty is like a f*@king superhero in my eyes, because only she can swoop in and save this mess on my tv. Bless this crazy bitch.

6. I'm loathing these Dany-YELLA and Starr hospital scenes, because I am livid there are no vets on but there are a shit-ton of teens. They are good little actresses though...

7. Deanna isn't a better suitcase packer than Aubs, but this bitch is given the new Mrs. B a run for her money.

8. I want to bludgeon Nate with a slab of ribs from "The Swollen Sow."

9. I hate that the teens are being shoved down our throats. We only have until January, so I need some of them to vamoose!

TIME OUT: Brief break to say that Natalie and Marty will rock. Otherwise this episode totally blows major ass and I want to stop typing. Out of love and sacrifice I'm not.

10. Ted King's attractiveness distracts the hell out of me. He's not even my type, but I am enamored with this man!

11. Marty is so convincing as CRAY CRAY! I mean, this bitch really thinks she and John are an item.

12. I'm upset Shane logged out of his paper on "Central Asia" since I was genuinely interested.

13. Totally thought the last name of one of those kids commenting on Shane's MyFace was Daniel F*@k instead of Daniel Flick.

14. Toad needs to straighten out NuJack like yesterday. Also, Toad's near death experience has cause him to grow a huge heart and I am kinda liking him this episode. LORD HAVE MERCY!!!

15. Aaaaand, Deanna got that cute purple cami and cardigan from where? Logan's? Bitch please.

16. Line of the Day: "Tomas, unless you're a very bad piano player I don't think the CIA is gonna put an innocent musician on the watch list." LOL

17. Tea needs to beat Tomas' ass until he bleeds the truth!

18. Marty and Natalie are delish. Marty's marinade is catnip and Natalie is lapping it up.

19. There is no question...I'd DEF do Blair.

20. I REALLY need Tomas and Tea to NOT be siblings.

21. I could have just watched Marty/John/Natalie for the whole hour. Dammit! Too short of scenes!

22. Someone please tell Dr. Buhari that MyFace is addicting so that's why Shane checked it.

23. Did I mention that I need Tomas and Tea to not be siblings so they can have sex?

24. That's it...I will have to fly to Llanview and cut Dr. Buhari's secretary's hair.

25. I just wanted to see Natalie/Marty/John this episode. I can't catch a damn break.

26. I need to go mop. Marty's sauce dripped all over my damn floor.

27. Overall this episode was migraine inducing.

AH! Lord have mercy. Ok...promise I am gonna respond to comments in the morning! Either before work...OR, I'll sneakily type at work. I have to go do some stuff before bed.

Adore all you lovely and hilarious readers. Seriously.

xx,

Mija

The Post from Hell!!!! The Karma Gods Have Had a Grand Time with Me!!!

Bo: "What do you mean you won't be able to make it to Marty's Memorial Day BBQ? I was hoping you would come with Nora and me."

Good God...let's try this ONE MORE DAMN TIME! I cannot lie: Beyond frustrating to have all this shit typed out and then it gets deleted. Ugh...exhausting. Ok, I'm gonna quit complaining. Oh, and I thought my blog was pretty witty for Thursday and now I just KNOW it won't be as good. Again, I probably deserved it since according to Dorian Lord "karma is a bitch." My Nate, Dayt-en, Joey bashing had to be reckoned with...I get it. I've been punished so let's move on.

Thursday, May 5th

Note: I couldn't find a Chuckles/Echo pic. Sorry. :(

Obviously, my punishment continues: Starr/James/Dayt-en in the first scene. The karma gods are really trying to f*@k me on this Mother's Day huh? I see how this is gonna be...bring it on.

Dammit! Dorian take your hair down! Get your bodyguard to do it. STAT!!! That's right Echo...shit bricks. Right now. Vickster is about to bring Chuckles the Talkboy.

Karma gods 3, Mary-Ella 0. The Minuteman Motel. WOOF! I have said this 30 times and will continue to: Queen V is lookin' hella outta place there...OMG. She just doesn't fit in there and that is a good thing! LOL..."Yeah, they mentioned on the news that ummm...Nikki Smith made an appearance." Lord...Chuckles is so nonchalant! Also, I FLOVE that Vickster can't remember a damn thing about Nikki's actions. I mean...Nikki could sleep with every male in Llanview the night before and not know! Cray Cray!!!

These Bo/Clint scenes better be longer than 2 damn seconds! "No, this is your first heart attack so they'll do a bypass." Aaaaand, Bo Buchanan got his medical degree in what year?! LOL. He was so damn certain and convincing with that statement I swear! Ugh...too short!

Destiny...I'm upset with you so stop crying. WOOF WOOF!

Again Brody, the Rules of Criminal Procedure have guidelines regarding breaking down a doorway. Lord have mercy. Good God is EVERYONE at the Minuteman tonight?! Disgusting! Vile! Eh...I'm kinda over this Tess/Ford/Brody/Cutter and custody of Ryder thing. Starting to bore me.

Aaaaand Dayt-en has cute jewelry and outfits in her little bag...my ass. Speaking of ass, if I were Starr I would have beaten Dayt-en's ass by now! Seriously...if you really think about their situation it's bonkers!!! Again, ask your Aunt Vicki how shit like this turns out!!

Dorian: "Everything you do is my business." You are so choice, Dorian. So choice. I flove her.

Minority opinion: I feel sorry for Bo. I know right? What a surprise since I adore him. I also adore Clint despite his evilness as of late. However, I do think Bo feels badly about the whole situation in general and how everything has turned out. UGH!!!!! DAMMIT! If you blink or look down these scenes are flippin' over. While I'm complaining, I have to say that it is also effing absurd that we are left to assume that Nora is out in the halls just reading a magazine or something. Horseshit!

God, Vicki get out of that motel room. It ain't a good look, darlin'. AH! The Talkboy!

Yeah...I don't want Matt and Destiny to have sex and they are. Anyway, this Matthew (the honest, good-hearted, level-headed kid) is the Matthew I adore. Where has he been for months?! Nothing like killing an evil bastard to make you be a nice person again...oy!

I totally laugh out loud when Dorian speaks. I mean when she said "Oh please go to Chuckles. I've done my part." I peed a little bit. Literally...peed.

God, Vicki is the most SELFLESS woman on the planet! She doesn't even want to hurt Charlie with the Talkboy audio. She is so fab. God Bless, there is no way that television in Charlie's room works. It doesn't matter anyway. People only go to the Minuteman for nasty sex and the awesome minibar that is stocked with Jim Daniels.

"You're lucky I never got into a courtroom cause the jury would have sent me home in time for dinner." Clint continues to be a witty badass while on death's door (although he ain't dyin' but you get the point). And, Bo still has that bronzed look about him. Maybe he and Nora went on vay-cay?! YES! That is why they have been absent for weeks. They went to the beach to think about their shitty situation with Matthew. Why not tan at the same time? Exactly. UGH!!!! These scenes are half a second! Not even a full second! Egregious!

I can't even focus on the dialogue between Destiny and Matt because I hate Matt's atrosh shirt! It is so f*@king ugly with all that graphic shit on it. Between that and his hair, I swear...

Aw hell. So, Cutter and Tess are married. Over this shit already and it just happened. Please...dear Jesus don't let there be a sex scene at the Minuteman...PUH-LEEZE!!!!! Begging you. I cannot mentally handle this shit.

Something else I can't mentally handle...the woman, Robin, on the Chantix commercial. Yes, I know what you're thinking "Don't you have DVR, ME? Fast forward, idiot." Sometimes I'm typing and don't fast forward. Anyway, her voice is annoying and I'm not surprised OLTL doesn't hire her ass to act on the show since her phonetics are so whack. I mean, why not hire her? They keep hiring all these new f*@kers and the show is about to go off. So, hire the Chantix woman by all means.

UGH...I mean, can't they just say Ohio for crying out loud!!!! Why specifically Dayt-en? I'm dying. Aaaaand, Dayt-ten has no money to her name yet she has a cell phone that works so obviously someone is paying the bill. Ugh.

God when Bo starts going off on the litany of things Clint did...well, it's pretty damn bad. He caused a lot of damage...damn. LOL...between Echo and Bo coming in and raising their voices Clint is gonna die right there on the spot. THESE BO/CLINT SCENES ARE SO DAMN GOOD!!!! And they aren't on together more because???? Yes, exactly. Yeah, I think Clint kinda felt guilty when Bo told him Nora encouraged him to visit out of brotherly love...

AH! Now this is gonna get good...just know it. YES! Vicki left! Even better! SAY WHAT?! Echo: "How could you do this to me!?" Excuse me? Where the f*@k did that come from? Ummmm you effed her husband, ho! She has every right to whatever she damn well pleases! OMG is Chuckles gonna get a brain?! Let's see if he moves a grade level today...

AHHHH!!!! I'm pulling my hair out! Brody just said "reverts back." God bless America. That is redundant, dammit! Just say "reverts!" For the love of God, shouldn't the WRITERS of all people know that "reverts back" is incorrect. Geez Louise. So, now that Cutter and Tess are married I wonder if this is the end of the STD swapping Aubs/Cutter sex? Hmmm...

Lawd...Llanview must have the LOWEST unemployment rate of any other city/town. I mean...ANYONE can find a job in a matter of minutes, I swear.

LOL!!!! So did Vicki put her flashers on and speed back to the hospital?! Lord have mercy! How did that bitch NOT get a speeding ticket!? There is just no damn way she made it back so quickly. Isn't the Minuteman not far from Pine Valley? haha...hilar! I'm like Dorian, glad to see Vicki is a little human! So glad she enjoyed seeing the look on Echo's face--the "I'm shitting major bricks right now" look.

I don't even care about Chuckles and Echo but I KNOW these scenes will deliver. Aaaaand, they are...FABOOSH! I don't have much to even say about them since they are sooo good.

Clint: "The trouble with you is you see the world in black and white. You're good. You're bad. When the truth is people are a little bit of both. But in your world if you're not perfect then out you go." OMG! Y'all know I flove Bo Buchanan more than life, but my God truer words have not been spoken! Thank you, Clint! Hello? Bo couldn't forgive Nora for 10 effing years. He is somewhat of a hardass in the good/bad department. Word. However, I think Bo has every right to be angry with Clint. Ok that's all I'm saying. I'm kinda sad watching these scenes. I hate they aren't close anymore...whannn. However, I do love all this drama. I'm torn.

Ugh...so over this James/Starr/Dayt-en shit. I mean...get her ass back to Ohio and go on dates and have sex. That will straighten shit out. Game over.

I flove Dorian/Vicki together and I just can't say it enough.

haha! Charlie: "Don't call me that [Chuckles]!" Good God! I've been begging for people to stop calling you that! You're JUST now asking her to stop calling you that. Lord. Aaaaand, what a surprise. Charlie just said "stoopid." Lawd...phonetics issues out the ass today. OMG these scenes are delivering!!! God bless...NOW Chuckles B. realizes how fabu Vickster was. Little late, bucko. Charlie: "You're a lying, cheating, manipulative _____." COME ON! Say whore or slut or something!!! Sheesh. This acting is phenomenal. PHENOM! LOL...Charlie: "Well, I was stoooopid!!!" And, now you have moved up a grade. You recognized the problem. You are leaving Joey in the dust, Chuckles! He is only in kindergarten. You are now in first grade. Big day for you.

Well, at least Matthew is getting this shit off his chest. LOL..."You know you should go to law school. You'd be a helluva lawyer." Lord...they are gonna do it soon.

Ugh these Bo/Clint scenes are too damn short. I'm crying. Aaaand, Ford punched Cutter. Yawn.

Yucky! Don't have sex, Cutter/Tess!!! Puh-leeze!!! I've had enough bad karma today. Don't do me in...

Yes! At least one person is leaving the Minuteman! I want everyone away from there! Leave Charlie!!! Good God. Echo, beating on the window won't do shit. Why didn't you just run after him? Dumb.

V baby, you're smarter and stronger now so don't even consider reconciling with Charlie. I know he is leaving so y'all won't, but I don't even want you thinking about it. Ugh...don't even get me started with the David being in L.A. reference. Annoying. Dorian: "And if I were a betting woman, and I am then I'd be putting money on the two of us." Flove it.

So...I can't wait for this Echo vs. Dorian/Vickster showdown!!! I'm jumping out of my damn chair!

These Bo/Clint scenes are kinda sad. Bo looks like he wants to puke...

Ok, so Destiny and Matthew are going to have sex. Got that. However, how is this gonna work? I mean...so we know Bo and Nora are about to leave the hospital and probably go home and get in bed. Is Destiny staying the night? How would Bo and Nora NOT here Matthew and Destiny having sex? I mean, wouldn't they go check on him before they went to sleep? I want an answer to these questions dammit!

Ugh...I bet we WILL get a Cutter/Tess love scene. Piggies...

Fingers crossed this post is successful!!!

Kisses and sorry about the huge delay!!!

Mija

P.S.

Gonna do Friday's post this evening. About to go exercise now. This shit has been stressful! Lord have mercy! Oh, and I am gonna try and respond to comments tonight, too! I FLOVE y'all's comments...make my day!

This is Nate's Fault

OMG OMG OMG! I want to effing kill someone!!! I had Thursday's AND Friday's blog ALL TYPED UP yesterday morning and then Blogger decided to wig out and not let me post ALL DAMN DAY! I couldn't even log on. Then, it lets me log on today and it didn't save my post from Thursday. I swear...I'm crying. CRYING! I bitched about this all day to MH! I feel terrible y'all haven't had a post but I swear it's not my fault! Soooo....I'm about to have coffee and go to church. So, I'll do the posts this afternoon. Ugh. Thank God I didn't delete the episodes...Lord. I'm convinced this is whole damn thing is karma: All my bashing of Dayt-en, Joey and friends, NQS, etc. has caught up with me and payback is me not being able to post and the whole damn thing got deleted.

I hope this never happens again because if it does then I'm gonna have to choke a bitch.

Welcome Back, Bo and Nora!

Clint: "I'm not kidding. You and Nora are gonna be gone for what feels like weeks and then you will both return to the show and I'm gonna be in a hospital bed. Crazy shit, huh? Well, this is a crazy town."

Good Morning, darlings! It's 5:45 or something. Yay! Lord...last night I just sent an email to my darling friend, Beth, and I had so many grammatical errors. I then attempted to blog and was so disoriented I wasn't making sense...heavens! Despite my exhaustion, I had an excellent day yesterday. I THINK we found a new apartment...score. Work was great. Aaaand...Bo and Nora finally made a damn appearance! Yay! Bonus/Icing on the Cake: Hillary Smith tweeted me yesterday morning! AH!!! Technically twice, but specifically she tweeted me once. I'll shut up now. I haven't shut up about this to Ross or MH. Lord.

Ok, so without further adieu...

I flove the headlines of "The Sun" since they are so damn obnoxious! Starr's shirt is cute. Gigi take notes!!!! Wow...so Vicki is back to being awesome and selfless. Amazeballs! UGH!!!! Toad Manning...don't say "God, I thought she'd never leave." WOOF ON YOU! Vickster is the shit. Don't talk smack, Toad. Just don't. Whoa..."The Banner" only has 1/3 of the circulation "The Sun" does? Damn.

I can tell I'm gonna hate this reporter, Blanca Morales (sp?). Granted, she is a Daphne Duplaix clone (who else misses Rachel Gannon?), but I am not enjoying her so far. This fake phone call is effing absurd. I'm gonna be even more pissed when Destiny tells her a bunch of shit. Woof.

Good God! I want to do a back handspring...Bo and Nora AND Matthew all in the same scene? All this "Access Llanview" talk! They won't end this shit!

Now wait just a damn minute...who is this new clown of a doctor?! They just can't find a stellar MD to replace Greg Evans so they keep changing it up. Greg can never be replaced. These other clowns can't act 1/2 as tawdry as Greg Evans did...and he didn't even try.

Kim Zimmer not in blue? Something's up. Ah...she IS in blue in the flashback. They just HAD to show her in blue. Note to self: Find out what cell phone Echo has because my iPhone sure as hell doesn't work in an elevator. This bitch must have the inside scoop!

Dorian darling...please remove your hair out from underneath your hat! Good Lord!!! I need this look to vanish...stat! Actually I'll let this fashion taboo slide so I can see Vickster and Mrs. Vickers-Buchanan have some scenes. Bring.It.On. The bodyguard...awesome sauce. Dorian...find that Talkboy recording!!!!!!!

Aw hell...Inez two days in a row. If NQS surfaces I'm gonna eat glass for breakfast instead of muffins. Dear Inez, Don't worry about Bobby. Just let him sleep it off like Bo and then lie to Bobby about what happened. Works everytime. Please don't be on the show tomorrow, ME

Tess...dammit!!!! Stop getting everyone's hopes up about Ford being dead. April Fools was LAST month. I'm tired of your antics, ho!

Inez: "Do you think you can stand up? Cause if you can stand up then I can drive you to the hospital." Lord. Or you could just get an ambulance Inez. Woof. hahaha...OF COURSE Brody is the one to surface!!! Inez is such a dipshit! She always calls THE worst people for help! hahaha! Remember when she called Elijah Clark for Ford to be his attorney. God bless. Brody's shit-eating grin is priceless.

Wait...y'all know I was joking about Greg Evans being irreplaceable? I was.

I loathe this bitch, Blanca. I think she is a bad actress. SORRY! I hate to say that. It's rare when I do. Her acting is so...forced? Destiny, please zip your lips...

Good God...so I'm horrified. WHY IN THE HELL IS MATTHEW'S HAIR SLICKED BACK?! The "American Psycho" hair does NOT work for him, people! Why does the hair department continue to torture me with this ugliness?! He is NOT working for BE anymore! It's nighttime for crying out loud. His shirt is shitty, too. Woof on his look today. Soooo...Bo just kept all this to himself since when??? I'm so confused as to what day it is. If these Bo and Nora scenes don't get longer I"m gonna f*@kin' lose my mind...what little is left!

Oooohhh....I bet I'll enjoy this. Echo: "How are you feeling?" Clint: "Clearly you've never had a heart attack or you wouldn't be asking such questions." haha. OF COURSE, Clint retains his humor in a hospital bed. I had no doubt. He is the shit. I'm so glad this silver fox is talking, p.s.

Vicki explains the whole thing with Nikki like she is talking about a child that acts bad from time to time. LOL. So matter of factly...not the way Jean Randolph would (miss her) but in a very cool, calm collected manner. Aw shit...here we go. "You knew Charlie was sleeping with Echo WEEKS ago?!" Score.

Todd you need to ask Starr and everyone else why Deanna and James are hogging all the f*@king airtime!!!

I'd rather hear Langston say "impor-ent" than watch Blanca. This bitch is drivin' me nuts. I'll be Marty Saybrooke before this blog post is over, I swear!!! Destiny...STFU!!!!

Bo is still tan. Ah. He is so scrumptious. F*@K. I practically blinked and missed the scene. Also...Nora didn't even talk. What the hell!? Ugh.

Dammit...I am really liking Brody lately. I'm sure he'll just leave now since I like him. Balls!!!

Thank God, I think Cutter is getting over Aubs and saying to hell with her. About damn time! Wise up, Cutter.

I think Toad is bipolar. He is being super nice and I'm not attributing this to a near death experience. WORD!

May I just say that I hate Inez's apartment. It is all brown. Poo! haha...

Tess: "Serves me right for caring I should have killed that bastard!" OMG. Tess, do you realize like over half of the OLTL viewing audience has been thinking the same thing! Way to screw up, crazy girl! Marty's crazy ass wouldn't have made that kind of monumental error. Take notes.

hahaha!!! Dorian: "I thought it was an OTO. A one time only thing." Ummmm...totally gonna use that now! Sweet! Even better: "She's a sleazy bitch." Katie...Strasser said bitch! De-lish! Yes...the Talkboy will surface. I feel it.

Ummm Clint the "strange reason" Echo makes Chuckles happy is because she is effing him to death! I swear they are the ONLY people that get action on this show. Lord today! Echo's about to blow a damn gasket about Dorian.

Please talk this segment, Nora. Ah...thank you. FACT: They are letting Hillary dress herself lately. That has to be her own cami and jewelry. They would never let Nora wear something cool like that.

OH GOOD GOD I HATE THIS REPORTER. My idea of hell: Langston saying "impor-ent." Deanna saying "Dayt-en." Flashbacks to the Ford's Body Shop. This reporter bitch pretending to talk on the phone. Plus, all the Llantano Mountain/Stacey Morasco shit from February of 2010. I'll stop there for now.

Is it just me or does Matthew ALWAYS stand up to Bo then Bo shuts down Matthew. Matthew then immediately turns to Nora and says "Do something!" Or, "This isn't fair." LOL. Then she tells him "no" and he retreats to his room or leaves the house. Finally...Bo and Nora alone together. Let's see if these scenes are more than 2 seconds. Ahhh! An Asa reference. Be still my heart! Nora's being uber selfless...good God.

Echo...F*@K! You are gonna give Clint another damn heart attack! Lower your tone, ho!

LOL...Dorian: "It's a mini-cassette recorder. It couldn't have gotten far." She is so cute and sassy. Aaaaand, Dorian just snatched Vickster's purse. Flove it. Does that recorder kinda look like a cell phone to y'all??? These scenes are FABU by the way.

Echo: "She's a doctor, Clint." Clint: "Yeah, a doctor from hell!" hahahaha! I actually rewound that since I thought it was so funny! I bet Dorian is a doctor from hell. She doesn't do shit anymore.

Aw hell. Here we go again with "Poor Vicki." I MUST come up with a new phrase. Regardless, she better use this Talkboy to her advantage!

I don't want to watch Cutter and Tess have sex. This is taking advantage, Cutter. She's not real. You're screwing an imaginary person. Woof.

Did I mention I hate Inez's apartment? It looks like someone vomited butter everywhere. Ugh. Those colors!

Thank you, Cutter. I can't see anymore Minuteman sex. So over that cest pool. WOOF!

Eh...the Brody/Ford scenes.

Not only do I hate these Blana/Destiny scenes but...HOW BAD IS THE MUSIC AT THE BUENOS DIAS?! I want to slam my head into a brick wall repeatedly. Anything is better than listening to whoever that whiny bitch is singing. Woof.

Nora's right, Bo. You're a sap deep down and you know you want to see Clint. "Please do not turn your back on Clint out of loyalty to me." AWESOMENESS! How selfless! She is so fabulous. Oooh a story?! Awe...so sweet.

Echo is nervous as hell. Echo...here is a memo to you: You DO NOT deserve a second chance. All you do are steal other people's men and lie about your paternity results. DAMMIT...that's everyone in Llanview! I take it back!!! That backfired on me, didn't it?

Vicki, believe it honey. Dorian: "duplicitous derriere." FLOVE it. Oh, in case you're wondering: Duplicitious--adj. deceitful. Y'all are gonna learn shit from this blog if it kills me!!! Actually, a lot of you already knew it I'm sure. It's for my own knowledge really. I love learning vocab words. I'm such a douche.

God bless you Toad...escorting people out of town?! Please just get rid of all the damn newbies.

OMG...so Nora got Bo to go to the hospital. So awesome! I've MISSED y'all's fabulous asses!!! Please stick around! Y'all make everything look so easy together...ah! Lord have mercy...and a kiss! Yay!

Destiny, I'm beyond angry with you. I need you to just hush your butt. NOW! Don't go cry to Matthew! You just blabbed your shit to Rachel Gannon's clone!

Oooooh Bo/Clint!!!! Eh...I think Clint is lying about dying. Look at that rhyme!

Sweetness...Vicki/Echo/Dorian...ah! Flove them! Echo will shit multiple bricks before this is all over...word.

Brody...the rules of Criminal Procedure would frown upon you breaking down the door so quickly. That's all I'm gonna say.

OF COURSE...weird phone call. Roger Howarth? Ummm has to be. Kinda obvious at this point.

AH!!! Ok, I have to go get ready for work! See y'all this evening. I don't know if I can do this morning thing again.

xx,

ME

Posting in the Early Morning!

Just an FYI...posting in the early a.m. I have typed up half of the show, but I need to go to sleep so I can make sense! I'm not alert enough to finish!

See you kids in the a.m. My post will be up by 7 or 7:30...CST, by the way.

xx,

Mija

Toad Gets a Life

Toad: "Sooo...you don't think I should do highlights AND lowlights? Just the highlights? I just need to look my best before the real Todd returns next week."

What.Is.Up? Ummm it's FREEZING here! Holy crap!!!! Anyway this whole damn day has been bananas, but I expected it to be that way with having been gone since last week. Like I said yesterday....drive by of Monday's episode and a full one of today's. Let's roll...

Monday, May 2nd

1. Holy Shit. So, I don't see Nate for awhile and he really has turned into a grown ass man! Dear God! Maybe it's just me?

2. I've never seen Marty dress so sexy in my life! Look at her rockin' that little black outfit. Even better that her accessories are simply her craziness. Her psychotic ways can sass up any outfit...better than diamonds. Forget Tiffany's...adorn me in Marty Sauce. Word.

3. Blair and Tomas...I am pretty sure I'd rather see them roll around in that booth than have dialogue.

4. Is it sad that I'm not that excited Toad woke up? I think it's because I'm so excited about Roger Howarth's return.

5. I flove Tea's little cardigan. Presh.

6. IF I HAVE TO HEAR THE WORD "DAYT-EN" ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO F*@KING EAT GLASS SINCE THAT WOULD BE MORE ENJOYABLE. If I were actually from Dayton, I'd be beyond livid about this.

7. I think Melissa Archer lost weight. She didn't need to since she has a rockin' bod, but I think she has lost some. She looks FABU.

8. On another note, Natalie is driving me up the f*@king wall with all this starting and stopping of the Talkboy recorder. I'm so sure she wouldn't sit and listen to the whole damn thing right then and there...woof! Then, I laughed at how excited Natty got when she told the Balsom-Morascos that the tape was really Marty's....LOL.

9. I literally laugh out loud every damn time I see that Post-It that says "Remember to LOG OUT!"

10. Note to self: If Ross ever has to take me to the hospital, I'm def gonna make his ass throw on a blazer first. Obviously...

11. These Dayton flashbacks. Dear God. I'm sure they play this shit in hell.

12. I'm about to mentally go insane if Bo and Nora aren't on soon. AND...Marty's digs could SOOOO be their new house when she flies off the handle permanently.

13. The Todd scene I enjoyed was the last one. Of course it took the whole damn episode for him to name Tomas as the shooter.

Allllllll righty. No need to stop now...

Tuesday, May 3rd

Aw hell. So Bo is talking to John, but...what a f*@king surprise...no Bo. WOOF!!!!!

Blair's purse matches her jacket...ummmm why? I'd prefer it if Blair and Tomas just went back to rolling around in that booth. They were so much more interesting then. What the hell?

DAMMIT! Just show Bo please! hahaha! I did laugh when John surprised Kelly. hahahaha!!!! John: "4 out of 5 doctors say Marty isn't sick." I kinda peed on myself.

Disclaimer: I FLOVE Robin Strasser...adore her. However, I hate when they put ALL of her hair under her hat. Come on...this look is good for no one. And, I mean...NO ONE! I can't get enough of Dorian calling Joey "Joe." SNAP!!!! Thank God!!! Actually, thank you hair department. They swept Aubrey's bangs to the side...FABU! People say miracles don't happen. Well, here is the proof folks.

Lord...someone please throw acid in my eyes...INEZ!!!!! God bless. I mean...I can't win. Dorian is on so I'm happy, but then they have Inez on to take away from that small victory. Atrosh! Dear Ford, Inez can't help you with the baby. She left you at home on the porch. She is a terrible mother. Word homie, ME.

Lord how many people are on this episode today?

I'm telling your writers...Blair and Tomas just need to go roll around. That's it.

WHOA!!!! Kelly just mentioned Zane? LOL. Just a reminder of the awful mother she is...

Joe, not ALL of Vicki's alters came out. Unless I missed them? God, I can't get over how much better Aubs looks with her bangs like this...

These John/Kelly scenes are short!!!

Ok, so obviously Aubs has a history of foster care or something. Her emotions/reactions are too genuine...hmmm. Oh, so David Vickers Buchanan is in California? How lame...

Tea...listen to Toad. You haven't seen your bro in forevs and a day. Bitch please. Wise up. You are smarter than this, legal eagle!!!

Aaaaand, Todd pulled that lame ass phone out of where??? His leg?

God bless...the redemption of Aubs continues. "Money isn't the only thing that matters." Boo.

These Ford/Tess scenes are boring me so far. So are the Cutter/Aubs scenes...

Dear Cutter, Aubs is going to F*@K YOU OVER!!!! Get out of this mess now. xx, ME.

I couldnt' help but LOL at the McBain and John convo.

How is a kid in pre-k 4 going to raise a toddler? So Aubs will be raising both? She is gonna need a nanny. Nigel where are you? Better yet...just give them to Addie Cramer. She is the one who pulls all the weight around this town.

I still like John and Kelly together and I will take whatever criticism that comes my way in stride. Yes, I will.

I FLOVE Dorian's bodyguards!!!!! Flove them!!! Cutter listen to Dr. Lord's ass! She is speaking the truth!

Who is ready for the REAL Todd to return???!!!! I like Toad's punky butt but I am just ready for the real thing...nothing better.

Tomas NEVER looks worried. Cool as a f*@king cucumber. And delicious...

Inez's apt. is a party, yo? I'll bring the Jello-O shots!!!! Wonder if anyone will crush up a pill (from a prescription written by Marty Saybrooke, of course) and put it in my drink? Hmmm.

Dorian!!! Please let your hair out of the hat!!! I love you...do it!

I don't like Ford, but David Gregory is sweet with that baby. Sorry. Hmmm the baby or Tess? Who should you choose Joey? You know...I'd stick with the baby. That's a future little playmate. Tess COULD be your "imaginary friend" since she really isn't real, but I'd stick with the tot. You'll thank me later when y'all are playing Legos and shit...

Dorian is BEYOND right with ALL of this Aubs mess. Thank God someone said it.

Ford, you should have committed Tess a long ass time ago...sorry.

Blair has too many random purples going on.

OMG that baby is PRESH!!!! DAMN...that kid is UPSET! Well, now he is happy since he is with Joey. Congrats Joey...you now have your first playmate. Life is good...

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Why in the HELL did they HAVE to show the f*@king, nasty ass Minuteman Motel? I mean, really? Was it necessary? Obviously so...to drive me crazy.

Aaaand, Tess is right about how Ford would have looked in court. He probably would have come across as a guy who took advantage of a little girl. Ewww. FACT: Men just "pass out" at Inez's apartment. Good God! Y'all stay away!!! They drop like flies around there!

Have y'all seen Ross Rayborn on the "Cymbalta" commercial? Tear...

Aw hell...Tomas arrested? Boo. Just boo.

The Buenos Dias has too much red. Nauseating.

Awe...Dorian/Kelly have a good relationship. Flove them.

DAMMIT! Inez is back! LOL...Inez don't act concerned. This isn't the first man to pass out in that very room...within a few months. Sidenote: In Llanview time I bet it's a few weeks...LOL.

Tess...don't get my damn hopes up!!!! WOOF! We all know ALL THE FORDS will be alive and well for what feels like forever...suckytown USA.

Oh.Dear.God. Is that Bo Buchanan?! He is on tomorrow?! STFU!? Be still my heart! Where the hell is Nora? Just hanging out with Matthew watching the Royal Wedding on DVR? Puh-leeze!!!

Ok, I'm absolutely wiped out and have to get up super early. See y'all tomorrow!

kisses,

Mija

Back Above the Mason-Dixon Line!

I've missed y'all! Ok, so here is the deal. I'm worn out and have work tomorrow...and have to unpack. Suckytown!!! Plus, I have to watch 3 OLTLs...ah! Well, I might skip Friday's since I read MH's awesome post. Sidenote: She is uber fabulous and deliciously witty. Thank God for her! Anyway, tomorrow evening I will do a drive by of today's episode and a full post of tomorrow. Then, I'll be back on schedule as of tomorrow. Perf!

So...missed y'all and hope the weekend was fabulous and fun-filled!

xx,

Mija

P.S.

I've missed Nathaniel Q. Salinger so damn much and just can't wait to see his ass. Not to mention, Deanna and James are just gonna rock my world with their scenes (I just know it) since they have been discussing the same thing for what feels like 3 damn months...WOOF!