Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Snoop Don't Lie

Nora:  "This will look perfet hanging up in the garret. It needs a little sprucing up."

Hi! I'm alive and yes this is still an active blog. I swear I blame this new schedule. I just completely forgot to blog last Thursday and I barely remembered to watch the show. Also, I can't tell you what happened on last Thursday's show. Thursday to Tuesday is a long wait. If they could even just make it a Monday, Wednesday, Friday deal I would be so happy but until then I'm gonna try and remember. If not, then I need to start setting alarms!  Hope y'all had a great holiday weekend! We had a housefull of people so it was fun!

Tuesday, May 28th

Alright OLTL, I have loved you since 1992. However, for the love of all things holy can we please just have ONE DAY away from the teens. JUST ONE! You are making me hate these kids by shoving them down our throats. Rant over...

I still don't understand why Shelter is a fine dining establishment and a druggie club. Again, where is The Palace?  Glad to see some Blair and Tea convo. Always makes me happy.

They love to have Des in short skirts. You would think Vicki would have a school uniform type length requirement at The Banner. Obvs not.  And OF COURSE Matthew effing left and isn't going to watch Drew! I'm sorry but I think all this is just ridiculous. There is no way in hell that based on the history of this character that Matthew would be pulling this shit. However, even if he DID pull this shit I just don't think Bo, Nora, Clint, or Asa's ghost would let him carry on this way. It is just absurd. All the vets do is talk about how Matthew is a slapdick and needs to be a parent to Drew but no one is doing anything about it. Granted it's probably hard in two episodes a week but still...y'all get my point.

Yes random girl I bet you don't do drugs with anyone else either. You only do them with people that look like your father because you could feel safer. Bitch please. And she looks like a trashy Jennifer Lawrence a little bit.  These people that work for Cutter are just eye candy and I'm fine with it. Dusky...great, more of her. She does nothing for me. However, if I decide to become a stripper I think I found my stage name "DUSKY".  I can see that name up in lights at a fine establishment off the interstate somewhere.  I could really make this work.  Wait no, that random chick does NOT look like a trashy JL. My bad. I am completely 100% creeped out by her old date. And now that I think about it why are we even watching this scene with two randoms?!

Yes!!! Natalie, Nigel and Vicki! This is what I'm talking about. And of course the scene is two f*cking seconds. Fantastic.  Like, I literally think it was 9 seconds or something...

We haven't had enough Tea/Blair convos. I actually love them.  Tea, you really don't think that Dan-YELLA is out until 2 am?! Come on, girlfriend.  Also, what the hell is a gaming console? Lmao...I love the adjectives Blair spouted off to describe Jack.

I do love that Clint is super furious and fired up like all kinds of hell at the mention of John's name! This is fabulous. Why are these scenes two seconds?

GTFO...Snoop! I love it.  Bo is so damn excited to see Snoop! I love it. LMFAO....Nora: "Snoop Lion, honey."  Bo:  "Snoop don't lie, honey."  I cannot. I am laughing out loud at this adorable corny joke. This scene is a hot minute, too! What the hell?

Dan-YELLA is so wet she looks like she just took a shower! OH EM GEE.  She is really trying with Matthew with all this taking me out to dinner talk.  UGH...I got nothing waiting on me at home. Matthew I want to beat you!!!!

Man, Jeffrey REALLY likes wearing vests.  Intrigued about the British guy who saw Jeffrey as his protege. Nice way he related that to how BN want to help Destiny even though they aren't "family". She needs to hear that. I understand Des wants Matthew to help but honey if you are holding your breath then I suggest finding a snorkel soon because you ain't coming up for air anytime soon.

I wish I was "so excited" as Dusky is that her ass is gonna be on this show. It's better than Riff-Raff that's for sure.  Blair!!!!! This is supposed to be a nice restaurant that turns into a club after hours, right? Jesus Christ, don't let people straddle each other at the table!!! This place is a brothel, I swear. Renee should come manage it!!

Clint looks dapper. Duh. Yeah, I want some Liam interaction with V/C.  REALLY? John wants to see Liam and if Natalie stands in his way then she can talk to his lawyer? WHAT?!  As if John McBain would act like this. I was so confused. My friend Gail told me that on "General Hospital" Clint issued a restraining order against John or something and prevented him from seeing Liam. So maybe this is where all the animosity is coming from? Shot in the dark. It sounds like Natty and Vicki don't know about it.  Vicki is such a fabulous mother. If I have parenting questions, I wish I could just dial her up. BRING BACK JOHN! Sorry, I had to say it. Opportunity was there. Not really, but I just made an opportunity.  Anyway, Natalie go screw Cutter to take the edge off a bit. I hate to see Natalie just pining away for John especially if he isn't coming back to Llanview. Ugh. Listen to Vicki! You are so beautiful! She is right..."Life is short. Don't wait for the phone to ring." I like this new Vicki giving advice. I feel back in the day she didn't dish out such forward advice...

Really Bo? You have been to Jamaica?  Does Snoop's minion have super sonic hearing because how in God's name did he hear that little snap outside the door. His hear must have been up against the glass. Yes, that's it.  OMG...Nora holding up the Snoop poster is hysterical. This whole thing is so comical. I wonder if any of these people besides the young ones have REALLY listened to Snoop's music. I just can't see Bo, Nora, Clint or Vicki listening to "Gin & Juice" or "What's My Name?" Let alone have they seen his old music videos?! I'm LOL'ing just thinking about it.  LMFAOOOOOO.....Nora:  "Well good luck at the screening and break a...paw."  This snapping business?!  I love it. I need to find someone that comes running when I snap my fingers.

Everyone wants a piece of Cutter it seems. Even Dusty. Or Dusky...whatever the hell. And Rama.  And Natalie.  Personal heartbreaker? Who is Rama talking about? Certainly not Vimal.

WE GET IT, OLTL.  Des' has to keep her HuluPlus account so the neighbor will babysit. I'm not cancelling my HuluPlus subscription anytime soon. Don't fret.

So wait did Natalie actually call John? It said "calling". I'm confused. Did he just not answer or was there a voicemail and they didn't show it? WTH?

AH!!! David Vickers surfacing at over 20 minutes into the show! LOVE! May I just say that my heart does melt that Clint is over at the garret about to play poker. I feel all is right. What? No Buchanan Lodge set where they can play poker? I kid. I'm not being demanding. How presh. Nora came to play! Cigar, visor, the works.  Man's game my ass. I hope she f*cking takes all their money. And please! Where in God's name would she go if she were left out? Their small kitchen? Their bedroom?! Pretty sure there aren't any other rooms left in that matchbox! And why is everyone annoyed she wants to play anyway?

OMG Natalie looks drop dead gorgeous!!!! Let her in that club right now! Go and get you some, girlfriend!

Ok so the table below Dorian's portrait really looks like a fake fire place with clouds as the "fire".  Something has felt off about it since I have seen it.

Of course Jack has to surface and purposely give me the middle finger at about 22 minutes into this show. I was so close. Damn. I'll be serious for a second.  Thankfully Tea is talking to Jack. Maybe if he hears some of this from her he will stop being so...Jack.  I really want to see him make some progress with Todd, truly. Mainly because I like Todd and don't enjoy seeing him so sad after he deals with Jack but I still want the progress regardless!   Come on, Tea!!! The show is almost over! Please don't cry! DAMMIT! Have you cried every episode?! Have you?!

Ok, I'm off to email people back about showing us apartments.  WOOOOOF!  More later dears!



  1. Yes PLEASE give us a break on the teens! OLTL continues its recent history of mis-managing younger-set stories. It's just a whole bunch of who gives an eff? Really - I wanna know is there someone who does (give an eff) out there? The actors aren't necessarily at fault on this one - it's all just so mundane.

    The whole thing with Shelter is indeed bizarre - I don't like Blair being portrayed as being so naive as to let college girls climb on top of their sugar daddies at the damn dinner table - REALLY?? No one wants to see that - not the other guests trying to eat their dinner and not us!!

    You nailed it - the combo druggie club and fine restaurant is a painful stretch at best.

    Imma just cranky - this 2 day a week business is gonna up the ante on my expectations. Better get up on it quick folks!

    Thursday surely will help - apparently TnB are gonna get some real traction finally and that will keep me sated for a good while LOL.

    Good luck with the apartment hunting ME! It can be sorta fun but is probably mostly exhausting for you at this point huh? Take good care of your precious self!


  2. @cri*cri/YB Yes, the actors are totally NOT at fault! If I were them I'd be like "woo hoo! lots of screen time!" However, I just need a break. You're right it's a bunch of like "why should i give a shit about this?" Shelter as a club and dinner place is heinous. I don't buy a bit of it. And yes, Blair should not be portrayed as an effing loon and that is what they are making her look like with this poor management. And why oh why did those two randoms taking drugs at dinner even have a scene!? What was that about? The 2 day business is killing me. I can't help it. I just can't. Yes, glad you get your TnB fix so that can hold you until Tuesday...LOL. Thanks! I'm actually feeling fantastic since I'm 15 weeks. Pregs or not apartment hunting is THE worst!!! Thanks for the well wishes! xxoo

  3. Soooo I have a confession to make. I didn't have access to a working computer for awhile & I hate reading anything longer than 140 characters on my iphone. (Even though my Apple iPhone does play videos from my Hulu Plus account very nicely. Technology is digital internet the future is online texting game console wifi! Who even needs a TV, right?)

    I just sat down and binge-read your blog! It was so difficult. That was really too much for you to ask me to do. Could you cut down to one blog a month so I can keep up with the faster pace?

    But really I sat back & laughed for about 30 minutes. I love how you get outraged about stuff like Matthew being The Douche Prince (he's the worst, and where is Mama Evans btw? WHY ISN'T SHE BEATING HIS ASS?) but you're really just having fun with it all. After 2 years of mostly Twitter soap commentary, it's delightful.

    A long overdue: welcome back, and CONGRATS on the baby-to-be! :)

  4. I am totally with you about the younger set! They are driving me nuts! The actors are great, they are not the problem. I don't need to see Matthew being horny, drunk, or just in general being the Prince of Douche every freakin day.
    Shelter, just am not feeling it. Even with Blair and Tea in there, I was like, eh, whatever.
    Of course I love seeing Bo and Nora being their goofy selves. I have so missed this part of their personalities, it disappeared so long ago. I think Nora was getting high standing next to snoop. The boys were upset with Nora wanting to join in because they know she'll take all their money ;)

  5. Ay Mija, your posts are always the best, and good for a great laugh! You always know just how to say what we are all thinking! Lurve it! :) Now how about I give you an update on the Llanview 3 (McBain, Starr and Todd) who are now back in Port Charles (General Hospital) with new looks and new names...

    First up, Michael Easton. Before Llanview, Michael was a Vampire on the GH spinoff, Port Charles, named Caleb Morley involved with Olivia Collins (played by Kelly Monaco). Then he became McBain in Llanview. When Michael went to GH as McBain, Kelly Monaco was there, now playing Samantha McCall. So they fixed it by having Caleb Morley come to town as well (Michael in a dual role). Caleb turned out to be a deranged musician who's real name was Steven Clay, who only thought he was a vampire, but wasn't and died at McBain's hand. The body was then swiped, and the Feds called McBain out of town. He resurfaced in a New York hospital running into Sam (Kelly) again, now as Dr. Silas Clay, a rude, arrogant man with a ponytail (yikes) and Clark Kent glasses. He's returned to Port Charles to fight Sam for custody of his nephew, which she has now. I guess they don't want to separate these 2 actors. Confused yet? There's more...

    Kristen Alderson. Kristin has played Todd's daughter Starr, pretty much her whole life. She came to the show when her car was shot at and went off the road. Cole and Hope were killed when the car went off the cliff and only she was rescued by Michael Corinthos, who she was later involved with (son of Sonny the mobster and hotel owner Carly Spencer Jax who was involved with Todd). They seemed to be happy, she had a music career and became co-owner of a nightclub called The Haunted Star, but then Langston had an emergency and she left town for LA (escorted by Todd on his plane). She reappeared as a brunette named "Kiki" aka Lauren Jerome aka Lauren Frank aka Lauren Quartermaine, daughter of ex-mob daughter Olivia Jerome and Famous Artist turned Serial Killer and Quartermaine Heir, the presumed dead Robert Frank aka Franco). She's a wild party girl, money hungry, sex hound involved now with Michael's younger step brother Morgan (because now that she's a Quartermaine, she and Michael are cousins, so...), but she fights with Michael a lot, so I guess they want to keep these two together as much as possible as well. It's weird to see her as anything other than Starr, and as a brunette and super street-wise/wild child...

    And then there's Roger. Todd Manning caused a lot of trouble for the people of PC and got involved romantically with Carly after Blair broke up with him once and for all. He left and returned to Llanview where you've been watching him work his magic. He returned with a spiffy, short new (almost bleach) blond new do, snazzy suits and lots of mystery. As it turns out, he is...Robert Frank (Quartermaine)aka Franco, a role originated by film actor and soap fan James Franco a couple of years ago. He's out for redemption from some, revenge on others and lots of money and power to do it. I'm going to miss him as Todd, but I'd watch Roger read the phone book, so I'm glad he's back. Of course this means he and Kristen are father and daughter again (I'm very happy about that at least) although neither character knows the other is alive at this point (even though they are in the same city/circles now), so I'm guessing a reunion is coming any day now.

    Whew! That's a lot of info and writing all down makes it sound so outlandish, and yet, it somehow works...ah Daytime dramas! LOL So there you go. Just thought you'd like to know. :)


  6. You're back! I will take HAPPILY take Matthew and Dani every episode if I never ever have to see Dusky again. But I do totally get the overexposure complaints- and I even like them! I feel like they may not get a day off until late July so its best to go in expecting them so that you aren't like ugh them again?!? I kind of wish Dani was still a drugged out mess if they were going to be so heavily featured. And yes, Asa's ghost would be SO not impressed with Matthew. Love that line. Oh how I wish Asa were still with us for this second online life to live.

    I hate whatever sugar daddy/drug ring thing they seem to be setting up in Shelter. I hope the new writers just forget it. We'll forget too.

    Viki/Nat/Nigel was delightful. ME, are you a John/Jolie fan?!? Were you always a John fan? I feel like you were not but maybe I'm confused.

    The new schedule is not fun. I'm starting to think maybe watching both on Thursday makes sense? Like OLTL is now a Thursday thing? That feels all wrong too- this is not Grey's Anatomy. Sigh. Good luck apartment hunting!

  7. I don't like the new schedule at all. I didn't really have those viewing habits, until they switched it and now I can't really just watch one on Tuesday and one on Thursday. I just watch them both on Friday.

    That HuluPlus comment was so lame and so tacky, even though if you can get somebody to babysit your child for a HuluPlus subscription, jump on that! I know for a fact how expensive childcare is!

    Natalie is so freakin' gorgeous, its ridiculous! I can't cope. I can't deal. Sigh. Dreaming... So is Dan-YELLA. Matthew is just dumb in everything, taking care of his son, ignoring his hot roommate, wearing those weird boxers. Dislike him intensely at the moment.