Wednesday, May 8, 2013

I Need Shelter from Jamie Franco...

Nora:  "Bo, hold on I have to take a caller. There is a girl on the line asking how to prevent Jamie Franco/Riff Raff from ever being on this show again. She needs my advice."
Good evening! Hello! Bonjour! Sorry I'm so late. Had a whirlwind couple of days with a performance, a shoot, appointments, etc.  Oh, and a little announcement:  I'm having a baby! Yay. So when I start crying over NuJack or something please know it is just the hormones.  I won't bore you anymore with this. This post will be long...

May 7th and 8th Episodes

     Lots of things repulse me or make me gag:  Kim Kardashian, licorice, cockroaches, etc.  I'll now add 2 more words to that list:  Jamie Franco.  Omigod is this dude even real?!  Is.He.Even.REAL?!  I have nightmares about people like this!  His scenes were soooooooo sooooooooo horrible! And what in the hell is up with his southern ghetto talk?!  Like what in God's name is he trying to accomplish with that?!  Nothing intelligent obviously.  I Googled this dude and found out he is from Houston so maybe that explains some of the "southern' twang but OMG, people! And those bottom teeth!  I cannot.  I think he said "fettacini's" (misspelled on purpose) or some crazy shit. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Ooooh and this guy sells ART?! Art in Miami? My ass! I really have nothing much to say except that all this was a train wreck. Actually, I'm just laughing about this now.  Obivously Cutter owed him money for some reason etc.  The guy has the power to get two chicks to make out.  That's all I got. I can't imagine his music is worth a shit.  At least Cutter did the right thing and forked over the money and didn't let Rama be victim to that gross bastard. *shutter*

     Not gonna lie I'm kinda over Shelter for the moment. I just don't want it shoved down my throat and that's how I kinda feel about it at the moment. Like, I'm gagging...

     Fact:  This Michelle bitch Matthew is FB messaging (who in God's name is on FB messenger THAT effing much?!) will be an effing loon. Maybe I'm wrong but I doubt it. She will be crazytown. I just feel it and I just can't imagine them brining a stable chick onto this show to get thrown into the mix with those hellions.

     Another fact:  The dancing between Destiny and Matthew towards the end of the show was no doubt WAY sexier than any sex the original Matthew and Destiny had in that tiny garret.  Hurry, Mary-Ella! Think of something else! Make it go away!  I want to vomit just thinking about it.  Add original Matt/Des sex to that list in paragraph one...

     The guy Dan-YELLA went to the VIP section with looked at least 35.  And he seemed like a douche.  I'm glad Matthew is looking out for her.  I get the sense of genuine concern from him.  My problem with this all goes back to him acting like a douche in his personal life.  So I really don't think he has a right to be so hard on Mija (even if he is coming from a good place) because he is being such a HUGE DOUCHE with this Destiny/Drew thing.

     My friend Gail pointed out that Victor acts drugged. He does right? Or something. I understand he was kidnapped and holed up God knows where for a year etc. and he is probably mindf*cked and all of this mess but something is still "off".  I did laugh when Victor made Mija do the field sobriety test in the house. LOL.  I thought he might have a breathalizer handy, as well.  And Tea's forceful but sincere "I love you" before Dan-YELLA went to bed was touching. Tear.  Holy Crap!!! Tea and Victor's bed is tiny!!! A matchbox is bigger than that foolishness! How in God's name do they sleep comfortably let alone have sex. I would bet money that Liam AND little Drew's beds are bigger. Without question. And I don't care if Tea was living alone for a bit...NO ONE should have a bed that small! This is giving the beds at Llanview Hospital a close race.  Remember? Everyone's feet hang off the bed! LOL.

     Thank you baby Jesus for the Bo and Nora stuff! Good lord if I ever needed them it was during THIS episode with Jamie Franco!!!  AHHH!  Obviously I could gush about their adorableness for hours on end but I won't. Breathe a sigh of relief.  I do want to say that they seem so genuinely happy together and I'm thrilled because OMG these two haven't had a break since they got back together! They are like glowing! AND, I'm so glad that people finally know how to write for them. Dare I say it? Are we getting the awesomeness that was BN in the 90's back?! I think we are. This is the BN that was sooooo stellar and rock solid and why people fell in love with them.  I loved every minute of it. I mean...that phone call! That.Phone.Call. So stinking precious! It was hysterical and all that tipsy flirting...made my day! The handcuffs! LMAO.  I do have to point out two things that I was like "eh, ok."  Nora used to LOVE being a defense attorney! She lived and breathed her work. So I find that kinda hard to believe she wasn't excited to go to work. And, Bo not knowing Nora was a DJ. PLEASE! Now if you didn't watch the show eons ago then you don't care but Bo owned the radio station and Max Holden and Luna Moody had their own show that broadcast from Serentiy Springs and Nora was Bo's attorney for the radio station and they began dating during all this...and she is JUST NOW telling him she is a DJ?  No. I call bullshit on this one. But for the mere fact, I otherwise loved the writing, they are so f*cking perfect and fabulous and I it seems she is sterring away from being the DA then I'll shut up right now. And to end it with sex on the floor. So fabulous. Le sigh. More of their fabulous selves...PLEASE.

     And how about it!?  OLTL gets to use REAL songs! I must admit I had the damn song in my head ALL DAY yesterday but "I Got You Babe" isn't a bad song to sing aloud to yourself. It was great. And obviously we have the big ending with Todd but I have more to say about that once I get more into today's episode. 

     It must be my hormones because I'm upset watching Dorian resign from office.  I love the portrait of Dorian hanging up. It cracks me up. LMAO..."Don't take any wooden nickels."  Should I know what in the hell that means?!  LITTLE SAM! You people have no idea how happy he makes me. OMG the "Pellegrino Fund" on that confidential file folder is so comical.

     Ok so Dan-YELLA's acting has really improved and she has done fabulously with her material during this reboot. That being said...she was just sooooo over the top today! Like I wanted to reach through the tv and just be like "OMG are you on Adderall?!  Please slow down!  You are like a Chihuahua!"  Yeah...Dan-YELLA is talking about the apartment being modern and her excitement was over the top! AH! I dunno why but she is making me want to pull my hair out! And I guess she just has the money to pay for rent...and dress cute...and go out and spend money.  Someone explain this.

     Natalie looks stunning in that green!!! OMG these little tots. How cute. I do have to say that if we are supposed to believe that little Drew is the product of Matthew and this Destiny then I'm not sure this was the best casting decision. Just my opinion.  Oooh isn't Shaun coming back? I do love him. I don't mind this Des and Natty chatting. I totally get it. The last Mes I would have been like "WTF is going on?"  Does anyone else feel HELLA AWKWARD when Matthew walks into the same room with Des?! It's like it screams "You deadbeat father! How can you just ignore her and your child!!!!" OMG...Matthew staring at the baby and not saying anything and then refusing to hold Drew is so awkward and unacceptable.

     Clint and Vicki are so precious and she looks fabulous in that blue!  I couldn't help but LOL when Vicki said "Maybe I was just too slow to join the digital age."  I don't know why I thought that was so hysterical.  Clint's right though. Vicki needs to get a little ruthless.  Vicki will turn the paper around though. I mean, she can't lose The Banner! That would be sacreligeous right? And LOVE how Jeffrey decided to stay!  I love it...this guy comes in to tell Vicki she could be insolvent soon and then she basically throws him out in the most polite way possible. And Vicki is tearing up and well, I just can't have that.  Again, Bless Jeffrey for cheering her up!

     And the award of the day for being a total tell-it-like-it-is-badass goes to:  Clint Buchanan! Praise the Lord! Rip Matthew a new one! Clint is totally right:  this shit is uncomplicated!  Just man up, Matthew! Damn! Omigod, Clint thank you for uttering the words I've been dying for someone to say. You are awesome. That pretty much just sums that up.  Carry on, handsome one.

     Ok now. So Victor put the poison in Todd's scotch. Todd proceeds to drink the whole damn decanter of scotch and now it's the next morning and Todd is still alive!?  How long does it take to kill someone this way!? Victor is obviously like "WTF, mate? How are you still alive?"  Llanview still has the same tall hedges apparently based on the outside of Tea's house.  God I can't remember the last time I saw these two have a talk.  I can't believe poisoned Todd is trying to make amends with Victor (and hoping that Victor just forgets Todd shot him).  I love when Todd left and Victor looked like "my Google search assured me this would work!" LOL.  Alright all you TnBers aren't y'all dying with this interaction? Hell, I'm not a TnBer and I even want them to makeout already. Maybe Todd will be near death and Blair will be by his side and try again with him. I mean, you know she wants to jump him.   Awe and Victor kissed Blair goodbye. That's sweet.  HOW IN GOD'S NAME IS THERE SCOTCH LEFT IN THAT DECANTER?!  How?!  I'm very eager to see how all this goes down.  There is so much I need to know, actually...mainly about Victor and his previous whereabouts, what was done to him, etc.

     There are just too many shades of purple going on in Dorian's house.  Hey!!!! Dorian said no snacks in the living room!!!! That includes Cokes! Remove that pronto!

Sorry I was kinda all over the place but I'm getting sleepy here.  Hope y'all had a good day. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow? If not then Monday. I'll try and do some comment responding soon!

All for now!
Jamie Franco's Fan Club President




  1. Hi Mija!

    Jamie Franco? Seriously? James Franco the actor played Robert Frank aka, Franco the artist on GH. He turned out to be a Quartermaine and a serious Serial Killer, who, by the way, is returning from the dead (again) on GH. Don't understand the connection yet...

    As for Todd, he and Starr return to GH this Friday, it's already in the ads, and he has a dorky haircut, but, I don't care. As you know, I love me some Todd and some Roger H.!!!

    Dan-yell-a has turned out to be a hell of an actress!

    Love ya,


  2. Congrats on the baby on the way! I need to go read again! I was totally distracted!!!!

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  4. OMG. I'm as blond as I thought. It took me 3 times re-reading your blog to realize there's a reason I don't work for The Banner: I miss the headline! You're having a baby!!!!!!!!! OMG! Congrats to you and Robert Ford, er, I mean, Ross! That's AWESOME! I'm so happy for you both and it could not happen to better folks than y'all! Wowzers that's the best news I've heard in a while (and I read the Sun - lol)! xoxo! :)

  5. Congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope everything goes well and your hormones don't spill all over your blogs too much!

    Yeah, Jamie Franco is supposed to be a parody of James Franco character in Spring Breakers. I thought it was pretty funny at first, but it got old really quickly.

    Hey, the Pellegrino Fund label was absolutely ridiculous and hilarious!

    Also, the whole time Clint was tearing Matthew a new one, I was screaming at the TV, you tell him! Tell him! But does anyone else feel like Clint is acting bipolar, he is totally sweet one minute and then the next he is acting WAY too angry. There is no middle ground for him. It's freaking me out.

  6. Mary-Ella! So glad to see you blogging again. I used to comment a lot but I was a super stressed out 1L when you were last blogging and stopped somewhere around the time of the cancellation. But I never stopped watching or reading your blog! Now I am bored studying for the bar and will be commenting all summer! Huge Congrats on the pregnancy- I know your baby will be even cuter than the original Liam- and on pursuing the acting dream! Good for you girl!

    I LOVE that we time traveled back to my childhood on Tuesday to when OLTL had actual songs and Bo and Nora were all cute. And they aren't even my couple. It made me smile ALL day (love being able to watch first thing!). And love your shout-out to Luna's Loveline. Can we get some Max on this reboot?

    Thank you SO MUCH for reminding us all of Matt/Des sex. These recasts were doing such a beautiful job of making me forget. I've seen a lot of hate for them on Twitter and FB but I LOVE nuMatthew and nuDes seems to have potential- maybe more than Shenell. I liked her little scene with Nat. But Drew must be recast. Sorry baby Drew, nothing personal. I am really enjoying this younger set. When was the last time OLTL had a good young set? Erin Torpey era? I don't even know. Even NuJack is not bugging me, loved him lunching with Dorian today but maybe I am just still giddy that the show is back and he is really still terrible.

    Just saw your title about Jamie Franco. I am DEAD. Glad you are back in the blogging business!

  7. So I am re-posting this because I originally did it on my phone and it read like a drunken person wrote it. I should never try to do a semi long reply on my phone, never turns out well. lol

    Congrats!! That is awesome for you and Ross!

    Apparently James Franco played a character based off "Riff Raff" in a movie and this his revenge? It seemed like a waste of time. I thought it was too creepy, actually made my skin crawl!

    Bo and Nora...sigh! That is couple we all fell in love with in the 90s. And to actually show a love scene, I was impressed! Hillary and Bob are so obviously having fan with this and that makes it even better! I am with you there about the DJ. I was like, sure, Bo ran a station, Nora was the attorney for the station, and it never came up? And PLEASE we all know Nora loves being a defense attorney. If this gets her away from the DAs office, I'll be fine with that!

    Our silver fox calling out Matthew out was the best part of that episode. That boy needs a smack.

  8. I had to rewatch Clint's speech to Matthew several times because it was so awesome.

    Congrats on your news!!!

  9. I just read a RiFF RAFF interview. He is a cocky SOB! Be basically said OLTL was his first acting gig. Surprise, Surprise! And it thinks he is one of the best actors of all time and he really hopes Jamie Franko can be a recurring or regulatr cast member! Please God no!!