I Left My Armoire at the Minuteman

Liam: "Mom. I had a lot more fun at Marty's Playhouse than I ever did with you. Can I go back now? Please? Plus, the Minuteman just got new armoires and flatscreens."

Oh sweet lord. So, I just fell asleep for 20 minutes with my head in Ross' lap while he watched the Bulls game (at a very high volume)! How lame! I haven't fallen alseep that early since grade school. So, I'm typing a fraction of this now...going to bed...and finishing in the morning. Work is crazy with a HUGE project we have going on for tomorrow (Thursday) so I've been preparing all week. So I'm typing half tonight (Wednesday) and the other half Thursday morning. To be honest, I prefer typing/writing in the morning when I feel fresh. I PINKY SWEAR I'll respond to all outstanding comments by tomorrow! xx

Yay Marty! WAIT! Hold it just a damn minute...is that an armoire I see in the background?! At the Minuteman no doubt? I could watch Marty talk to herself all day. Again, that baby is the most well-behaved child on the planet.

Good God...I can't stand Matt and Destiny together. Total barf barf woof. Sidenote: Their kisses look fake.

Who are these people? This attracitve older couple talking to John about the Amber Alert, I mean. Omigod it's Bo and Nora! I forgot what they looked like, I swear! I must say...they look tanned and well-rested so hopefully they had a relaxing 2 week vaycay. Thank God they're back. I was having huge withdrawals! Ah! LOL...Bo: "A disturbed woman with a weapon and a 4 month old child? I don't like the odds, John." ha! Oh I missed this lovely man. Seriously. Aaaand, is Nora gonna say ANYTHING?

YES!!!!! Marty is becoming uber destructive!

Ross is on Cloud 9. He FLOVES Rick. Whoaaaaa!!!!!! Okay, so it looks like Marty has an armoire (I'll check in a sec) and now Rick has a flatscreen in his room. Since when did the Chlamydia Motel get these kinda upgrades? After Chuckles and Echo left? When? OMG Dayt-en is NOT worth talking about when she isn't on camera. Why in the hell is Rick talking about her? WOOF!

This Wes/Cutter storyline is so captivating that it still has my attention since last week. I think Jess should stay as Wes until the show ends. Whaddya say? He can screw every female in Llanview.

Will Nora ever talk? Why do they do this sometimes? She is quiet for like 2 segments sometimes.

I'm so happy Vickster is on, too!!!! Still looking fabu as always. No doubt!

This is where I"m resuming at 4:55 a.m. I actually feel refreshed since I was asleep by 10! Yay! Okie dokie....

I wonder if John feels guilty right now? LOL. Again, I don't care. Marty's Playhouse has been great.

Thank God...Nora spoke words. What? Nora: "Marty seemed okay the other day. How did she go from there to delusional?" Times! When in the world did you see her? I just can't imagine a date recently when you would have met with her or hung out...just sayin'. May I just say: I LOATHE BLANCA!!!!! Not to mention, I keep saying "Bianca" by accident...woof! Of course, SHE will show up to interrupt B/N alone...and talking together for the first time in 2 weeks. Total woof.

Also barf barf woof on Des/Matt. Ugh. I only like them as friends. This whole sex thing was too rushed. Word.

Thank God I'm a morning person and am very content/happy drinking my Community Coffee today. Otherwise, I would want to morph into Marty after watching these ATROSH Wes/Cutter scenes. I'm just tired of this alter. Go back to Tess or something.

OMG this shit with Marty/Rick is hysterical! I love that Rick screamed he was "trying to work." Awesome town! Aaaaand, Marty is supposedly HIDING with little Liam yet she keeps peering out of the open blinds? Very inconspicuous. She's getting messy! Did Marty just say someone might see her? CLOSE THE BLINDS!!!!! These discussions with herself are fabu.

Random sidenote: Oooookay, so does Dr. Buhari's secretary kinda look like a young version of the new New Jersey Housewife, Kathy? Those eyes...

I tell you what...to survive a fall like that Natalie is pretty coherent.

YES!!!! Marty screaming about how she is supposed to be a family with John and how the tape could blow them sky high...FABOOSH!!!!!

Aw hell, someone tell Natty what's up with "chick magnet." God, Vicki is a HORRIBLE liar! hahaha! Terrible, really.

Snap! How dramatic is the Bo, Nora, Matthew and Todd/Toad promo?! Sweet Lord! Catch me on an emotional day and I'd cry watching it probably. I'm such a douche.

Did I wake up this morning in hell? Surely. Because why am I being subjected to this Wes shit at let's see...5:14 a.m.? I prefer just waking up in Chicago...this is ridic.

Poor Dr. Buhari. This will be bad. LOL....aaaand, Marty was obviously not tardy for Dr. Buhari's party. She was the last patient, of course. This bitch is looney tunes!!! Lord have mercy! Yeah...secretary looks like Kathy from NJ the more I look at her.

OOOOOKAY. Let me just get this out since I now verification: REALLY?! The Minuteman now has a f*@king armoire in Marty's room?! Get the f*@k out! I mean...this is so damn absurd. ABSURD! To top it off, Rick now has a flatscreen tv. What the hell is going on? On second thought, they have received a shit-ton of business recently since half of Llanview has been practically vacationing there since December so I'm sure they can afford to blow money. "Blow" being the operative word since I'm sure that is how they received most of their income...people going there to do that. Woof.

Yes...Vicki is the worst liar of all-time. AH!!!! I'm in heaven! The Silver Fox...in his awesome "CB" robe to boot! My God EVERYONE needs to take notes and look this fabulous while staying in the hospital! My God this man is too dapper for words! Between Bo and him BOTH on today...well, I am just in heaven. So I retract my question earlier about being in hell thanks to the Cutter/Wes scenes. For all the good you get a little bad...I get it. V and C...Natty ain't dumb. Just spill it.

Please tell her you're going to sue her Nora. ha!!!! Yes! She just did. This Blanca bitch is ballsy, yo? I think I peed on myself when Nora said "And you're gonna smell like a pile of manure after a heatwave." OMG...someone back home would say that. Except replace manure with you know what. Woof...Blanca's lipstick is pink and her eyeshadow is purple. NO. Ugh...these scenes are too short!

OMG DESTINY STFU! Right now.

Tear...Nora is holding a family pic. Is it sad that I could instantly tell that pic is from Matthew's dance in 2009? Before his accident. I am the lamest person on the planet. God...no doubt. Bo Buchanan is such a doll...just sayin'. OMG...I mean, how is Matthew carrying on daily?

Yes, I will no doubt loathe Destiny by the end of this episode. I feel it. These Dan-YELLA and Mes scenes are woof. Ummmm yeah, I'll wanna kick Destiny's ass once she spills this mess to Dan-YELLA. I mean...she blabbed to pink lips the other day and now she is blabbing to Dan-YELLA. Motormouth!!!!!

ha! LOL...don't worry Matthew we told her we'd sue. I love that Bo said that Clint gave him his word so he wouldn't tell. Hmmm...I like that. He still trusts Clint. God, I can't wait to see how B/N react to Mes spilling the beans.

F*@k Blanca. Over her the second I realized she wasn't Rachel Gannon. Fail.

Soooo Jessica is about to come out and then no doubt leave. I am so tired of this. Just stay Tess for awhile or something. Be Jessica like on the LAST day of the show. Over this.

Well this can't be good with all the blood. Aw and there is poor Dr. Buhari. =( John, this is kinda your fault. Again, I'm still thankful for Marty & Friends so I won't hold it against ya.

Tell Natty, dammit! Aaaaand, game over. Natty is about to watch the news.

ha! Vicki: "I'm lying for both of you and I'm a TERRIBLE liar." THANK YOU! Victoria even knows she sucks at lying! It just doesn't work for her unless she is Nikki. How good lookin' do these two look together? You know it's true!!!

hahaha OF COURSE the news about Liam is the FIRST damn thing Natty sees on the news! God what timing! Poor thing. She can't catch a break lately. Karma is definitely a bitch. After this Liam fiasco, I think Natty has done her time in karma prison. She's had enough punishment for the months of lying...at least in my opinion.

Sonofabitch...now it's Jessica. Someone shoot me.

LOL...John: "When Marty came to see me earlier she had this signed piece of paper from Dr. Buhari...proof she had been to her appointment. She was already coming undone." Lawd! Ok...so I laughed when John said Marty was already coming undone but when she brought the paper?! Y'all does that feel like forever a day ago...literally?! OMG. Yet it's the same day. Incredible.

I hate that Ross is missing all these Rick scenes. He is gonna have to watch later today.

OMG that poor nurse. Get out of there, darling. OMG...Vicki's explanation will be terrible I'm sure. Clint and V both lied to her so I'm sure she is upset. I do agree with Vickster...Marty Sauce won't be used on Liam. She will protect him since in her delusional mind she thinks the kid is hers. Oy!

AH! Brody is flying off the rocker now! Rightfully so. However, all this it's my kid not yours thing is out of control and is said repeatedly.

OMG, I need to hurry. It's 10 until 6 and I need to be at work early. So...I'll have to be quick with the rest.

I'd wanna beat Destiny if I were BN at this point. I know they are getting flack since they are THE LAW and are not turning in Matthew but come on...they are in a tough spot. I'd be the same way...

Blanca...please explode on command. Destiny...you, too.

OMG...I'm peeing! Rick giving Marty is card and calling her "one hot mama." EXCELLENT. Maybe Marty could leave Llanview to go be a porn star? Hmmm. What a departure. Hell, that would be out of character but so is all this crazy shit she has been pulling lately...so why the hell not?! Go be Jenna Jameson 2.0!!! You can do it!

Lord...Brody's losing it now. Just wait until he finds out the kid isn't his.

EFF this Wes shit. UGH.

Melissa Archer is such a great crier!!! Her tears are always gushing when they need to be...good job, girlfriend!

OMG SHUT UP DESTINY!!!!!! I WANT TO LEAP THROUGH THE TV AND SLAP YOU!!!

I flove how Blanca knew it was Clint calling. Lord have mercy.

Lord...my poor favorite family! They are in shambles and the worst hasn't even come yet! Jesus. I mean...first Vicki's terrible year and now Bo and Nora are having to deal with shit left and right. They haven't been happy since their wedding!!!!! LAST JUNE!!! All their holidays have SUCKED. Cheating, kidnapping, Clint, Matthew's spiral, Matthew killing Eddie, how to handle it and now next week with Matthew! Oy!

Sooooo Marty's room has an armoir but an old school tv?! REALLY?! This doesn't make sense!

I flove that Rick is now involved in this Liam disappearance!

OMG...Destiny blabs shit to everyone!!!!! Over her ass!!!!!

Lord...what a stressed out Buchanan home right now. Ah!

So was that Wes/Tess/Jess? Who knows? I think Marty's sauce will escape and continue her pursuit of the perfect BBQ with Liam. Memorial Day is right around the corner! I actually received my invitation to Marty's party, but it had a stain on it. Woof. From her sauce? I'm assuming it is.

Please excuse any and all typos/errors! Ross is already gone so he can't proofread and I don't have time to this morning. Pinky promise on the response to comments today.

Love you all and mean it! Hope you enjoyed this post...if you can follow it! If you can follow it, then i'm impressed!

xx,

Mija

Hmmm...This Episode or the Stomach Flu? The Stomach Flu. Much More Enjoyable.

Tomas: "I don't know if my next visitor will be a male or female. Should I just bet it's a female and unbutton another button? Hmm."

In the immortal words of Asa Buchanan "I'll sleep when I'm dead." Sooo....I have coffee and am ready to go. I'm going to do a drive-by post. The combination of the early time and sure to be not very good show are only drive-by worthy. Plus, I am totally beside myself that Bo and Nora will be on today...together...for the first time in two weeks so I have to post fully tonight. Let's start this, shall we?

Tuesday, May 17th--Chlamydia Motel Description of the Show

1. I feel these people have been in the same outfits for days. God....do y'all remember the wedding that didn't happen back in February?! Everybody stayed in the same damn clothes for 2 solid weeks. Yuckytown.

2. Yeeeeeah, I'm gonna hate this episode...feel it. I mean people are dressed as food for God's sake!

3. So, in one sentence from Blair we know that Kelly is going to be all fine and dandy despite losing 4 units of blood. Ummm this whole thing could have been more dramatic. FAIL.

4. Yep. Looks like Marty has decided to make me one of her victims this morning and place me in her torture chambers: NQS and Dayt-en playing with waterguns. Jesus H. Christ. UGH! Another indication Inez was a shitastic mother: Nate thinks it's okay, even at the age of 35, to play with waterguns INSIDE the apartment. #badparenting. Speaking of bad mothers, where is little Hope? Exactly. With Addie Cramer and Renee Divine learning how to play gin rummy...no doubt. I'm gonna also state that I bet Marty is better with Liam "Chick Magnet" McBain than Starr is with Hope. At least Marty plays/talks to Liam! Albeit the woman is cray cray, but Starr could take notes. Ha! ;)

5. Now Aubs is parting her hair down the middle. Clearly they are doing everything they can to NOT show those atrosh bangs she had. BEST.MOVE.EVER. Do EVERYTHING you can hair and make-up department! Drastic times call for drastic measures.

6. If Wes doesn't leave I'm gonna have to pull an Oedipus Rex, and gouge my eyes out...seriously.

7. Is the ONLY bright spot in this episode gonna be my desire to leap into the tv and jump Ted King? This is sad on entirely too many levels.

8. This Toad/Todd shit is gonna take FOR.EV.ER. We don't have time for this shit, OL. I don't have patience either (unfortuntately).

9. Dan-YELLA you're so cute so please break up with this child molester. It's as simple as that. He's a 35 year old grown ass man yet he acts like some kid from "Saved by the Bell."

10. Normally I'd laugh at the Patty/Hamburger patty joke since I'm a douche and like stuff like that but not this morning. I'm over the Fords since this show needs to kick them off...like last year. This is just stoo-pid. Anyone miss Charlie? Just curious.

11. Good God! She is a 3rd year law student? HAHA yeah right!

12. If Rama gets another Delhi Belly then we are going to have to stage an intervention. Not because she's an alcoholic but because those damn things HAVE to be fattening.

13. LOL "tip of the spear" huh Wes/Wess? Nice and sexually inappropriate.

14. I mean, who in their right mind would stay in those shitastic costumes to drink beer and hang out. Idiots! Oh damn...kill me. Now he is asking a 3rd year law student for legal advice...will.get.you.nowhere. OMG an ADR reference. Aaaand, bacon cheeseburger: You can't give legal advice since you're a student. You know this. FAIL. Obviously Llanview's law program is disasterous. Or this Patty just doesn't pay attention in class.

15. Raise you hand if you give a flying f*@k why Wess isn't getting served out of a bottle? Well, I'll have y'all know I'm quite concerned.

16. Weren't we all in agreement that Christian should be in the very last scene of OLTL in January? Maybe making out with Vicki or something. He's THAT pertinent to the canvas and the history of this show. Thumbs up.

17. Something about Blair and Tea when they talk to Toad reminds me of "Sister Wives."

18. Go out and get you a piece of ass Bobby Ford. Since that is EXACTLY what you need right now.

19. These Ram/Wes/Aubs/Cutter/Christian scenes are RIVETING!!! Riveting I tell you! Emmy worthy!

20. YES! I've been waiting on James and Starr to have sex for months!!!!! My day is now made! NOT.

21. All this "deal with the devil" talk. I'd probably make one to sleep with Ted King. Even in that jail cell! FACT: His jail cell is cleaner than the Chlamydia motel.

22. I feel like my child just said "mama" for the first time when RH spoke. Such a proud moment.

23. Nate just said "implicate." I don't buy for one second he knows what that means. Even though it is an easy word...too many syllables for him.

24. Blair sounds so stupid..."How could I trust another cold-blooded murderer?" OMG...no shit.

25. OMGEEZUS!!!! Today sucks! I'm sorry this post is so atrosh! I thought SURELY we'd have Marty's Playhouse today...surely! Dammit to hell! I have zero to work with here.

26. INTERVENTION, Rama!!! Or, get Chris to make the skinny version of a Delhi Belly. If he doesn't know one, I'm sure Bethenny Frankel could teach him.

27. Sonofabitch. If I'm gonna be subjected to this crab-ridden motel room shit, at least show Marty's room. RIDIC. OMG..."I wouldn't kick her out of the bed for eating crackers." I've said that all my life. Love it!

28. I'd choose a lobotomy over having to listen to the music they play at Capricorn.

29. Oh, and I didn't say what is up to our dapper French mystery man. Where are my manners?! Sup, Monsier?

30. This episode was worse than the stomach flu.

Ok, well my make-up artist just arrived so I must get ready. See y'all this evening! Here is hoping today's episode is better...PLEASE! Will respond to comments from work. Promise!

Muah!

Mija

See You in a Few Hours, Dearies.

Hi Darlings! I promised I'd be consistent and I meant it dammit! It's about midnight and I don't know where the day went. Seriously. Soooooo....I'm posting about Tuesday's episode early in the morning before work. I promised consistency to y'all...plus, y'all are so sweet and loyal. You DESERVE a post!

From what I heard...I won't care for the show much. Hmmm. Anyway, I might do a drive by of the show. Depends how it it. Also, I'll respond to comments in the morning or afternoon. My post will be up no later than 7:15 or 7:30.

See y'all then!!!!

xx,

Mija

The Sound of Silence

Todd: "haha! I'm not gonna talk, Mary-Ella, until you begin to emulate Marty Saybrooke! Do it and I will speak and tell you where I have been all these years!"

Evening y'all! Sorry...my inner trashiness got the better of me. I had to watch "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" before I watched OLTL. hehe. Bonus: I got to tweet with Tina Sloan a bit. Ummm yeah no one will care about that unless they watched "Guiding Light." For those who don't know, she is just in one word: FABULOUS. Everyone should go read her book "Changing Shoes." It is my life's guide. Anyway, I have NO idea what happened on the show today except for some of the Destiny/Matthew stuff. So, this type and watch will be blind. Lord help us...mainly Lord help you all who have to read this mess.

Good God...what is this? Mission Impossible? All this hand decoding shit. I'm so sure. The explanation of Todd (thank to Richmond Chandler's recent comments to provide insight) will no doubt become complicated and convoluted...I'm sure. Lord.

Well, my blood is beginning to boil over this Matthew/Des stuff. I cannot mentally handle this mess. SHIT...there's Marty!!!!! Out of the damn blue and she is toting the "chick magnet." Lawd...

Uhhhh....did Natty's bruising go down since Friday even though it's the same scene? Maybe it's my imagination.

LOL...Matthew: "You babysitting or something?" My God Marty is f*@king looney. Hell, just shoot Matthew now. I mean...IF he is going to die. Please just don't make me go through this torture for weeks. Just do it. Ugh...I'm kidding, but you can see I'm that upset about all this mess. However, I heard Matthew MAY not die now. So I'm trying to be optimistic...

Tea looks like sex on a stick. If anything Toad should want to leave the hospital just to get it on with her...

OMG f*@king shoot me! It IS INDEED a Monday. NQS has to grace my damn screen. In an ugly ass baseball uniform no doubt. He can't even have a button up jersey for baseball? What kind of a school is this? OHMYGOD!!!! Now Dayt-en is on? And she has on short ass denim shorts and a shirt that is tied with her midriff showing. OMG OMG OMG! I cannot deal.

Well, this is a change. So Tomas' buttons are buttoned now. So...does this mean that when a male visitor shows up he buttons up his shirt? Yet when a female (including sisters) visitor arrives he leaves them unbuttoned? Hmmm...

I wonder if Roger Howarth speaks this episode?

Please God...PLEASE don't show Inez! Please. I cannot deal. There is too much terribleness on this Monday. I can't handle much more. Seriously. I've had a great day until now...at 10 p.m. Total woof OLTL...total effing WOOF.

I'm sorry but there is just no way Toad can really be Todd. I mean...I just don't see how else RH would fit in the canvas if he isn't indeed the REAL Todd.

I know MH thinks Ted King's beard is too hairy (it is), but I'd jump him. Sorry.

Eh...these Dan-YELLA, Tea, Sean scenes...

One of my lovely commenters said that Natty wouldn't remember...sure enough she won't. Lord have mercy. This will be a mess.

My God Marty's sauce has made it to Angel Square! God help us...and Angels help us! Heavens! LOL...Marty: "OMGosh you're lucky I love your mother! The next time you might not be so luuuucky!" hahahahaha! Marty is out of control and I flove it. Also, can we all agree that Liam is the most well-behaved baby on the planet?! Kid hasn't made a damn noise yet! Awesome sauce! I am dying for a kid like that...a few years from now. Good on Matthew for getting between Marty and Destiny. Very manly. Aw hell, now Brody surfaced.

Sonofabitch. Natty please remember. I mean...she has to soon. I think...

Aaaand, Brody just passed out. He will be at St. Anne's soon...no doubt. Who can blame this poor bastard? He hasn't even found out the truth about Liam yet. Oy.

LOL! I think I just peed on myself! John: "You called me alright. Maybe this will help...you left me a message." Natty on the phone: "John, it's Natalie. It's urgent. I need to see you right away." Well...if that message doesn't trigger ANYONE'S memory then I don't know what else would. I mean...anyone who is suffering from short term memory loss could remember what they were trying to disclose by listening to that 3 sentence vmail. Natty just isn't smart. AS IF!!! Jesus, McBain. You're a detective...act like it! Of course she is gonna remember kissing Brody. If anything, the writers always have to show Natty/Brody flashbacks. I mean how many times did we see the sex scene between Natalie and Brody in flashbacks?! Puh-leeze!

Dammit...Matthew is totally NOT a douchebag anymore and is being beyond awesome and totally the kid Bo and Nora raised...largely Nora. However, we all know this will be short-lived. Woof.

If I could magically leap through this tv into Tomas' jail cell, I would. May I just say that for all that he has been through that shirt is still a very bright white. Not dingy at all...

Is Sean channeling John McBain with this all black ensemble?

I was hoping to enjoy these Toad/Tomas scenes but nothing new is really transpiring. I mean...they are DRAGGING this shit out.

At least Natty remembers Liam.

AH....poor Brody!!! I'm sorry. I adore him now and he is gonna spiral downward for sure! "She has my son, John." God Bless. How sad. It's John's son...heartbreaking.

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! REALLY?! So 24 minutes in OLTL has to bring in the damn Chlamydia Motel?! Atrosh!!! Plus, Marty's Playhouse had to take its special guest star, Liam "chick magnet" McBain, along for the ride. JUST NO! That baby hasn't had all of his shots yet!!!! Aaaaand, she just said "Mrs. John McBain." Crazytown USA.

Nope. Not discussing this SHITASTIC disaster on the screen right now. I don't want to see Nate showing off his washboard abs and comparing them to James'. I have the Disney Channel if I really want to watch mess like this. Or ABC Family...woof. Even Ross just said this was dumb. Word!

I flove it. "Todd, where the HELL are you?" Tea's such a badass...seriously. She needs to beat Toad's ass. "I feel like I have no idea who he really is." Foreshadowing much?

I'm not gonna get into this Toad/Tomas shit until it starts moving. Still stagnant.

OMG PLEASE TALK, ROGER HOWARTH!!!! Total woof.

haha...I love Des' and Matt's descriptions of Marty. Lord help us all. I knew it was coming but then Matthew said it: He and Destiny had sex. Jesus.

These NQS and Dayt-en scenes are played in Marty's torture chambers. No doubt.

Dan-YELLA's skirt is cute. Actually, I like her whole little ensemble. Very suitable for her age. I must say I'm glad that Dan-YELLA isn't rushing into sex. Good for her...seriously. More girls need to be like that. Plus, Nate is 35...that would be weird.

Okay we get it...Tomas knows shit about Toad. Move along.

AH! Pick up the "chick magnet" binky but DO NOT give it back to the baby! Dammit, Marty! That bed is nasty as f*@k...literally! Now that binky is going back in the baby's mouth?! No...just no. I've mentioned this a 1,000 times but I love Marty's solilioquies. Speaking of soliloquies, she even said "All's Well That Ends Well." Get it? Anyone? Shakespearean play. Bill Shakespeare floved soliloquies. Yeah...this isn't going over well so I'm moving on...

My God everyone in Llanview will be injured or near death this week, I swear! Brody's bandage looks terrible! I will say that John and Brody are getting along pretty well given the circumstances.

Well, I'll say one thing. All patients in Llanview need to try and look like Clint Buchanan...the most dapper man around. Natty you do need to find Liam! He is getting some disease from the Chlamydia Motel as we speak!

LOL!!!!!! I FLOVE Marty Saybrooke to pieces but when she said she would tell everyone that she found Liam in the snow...well, I think I totally wet my pants! That is the most awesome story EVER! Found him in the snow...LOL.

Snap...Brody is lying to Natty. Hmmm.

OMG how awkward is this Natty/Des/Sean convo?!?!?! Wow...Destiny said it didn't mean anything. Is my heart a block of ice that I don't care that it meant something to Matthew? Yes, it is.

I love when Tea spouts off Spanish! Keep it coming!!! God, these scenes are short!

Hmmmm....so Tomas and Toad are gonna team up?! Okay now I'm a bit intrigued. Of course, the moment I'm intrigued Toad leaves. Dammit to hell! I can't catch a break!

REALLY?! Water guns in the house?! Not even a house...an apartment! Plus, Dan-YELLA walking in on Dayt-en and Nate is basically the same thing Starr did. Lemme tell ya...one helluva interesting story. Barf Barf Woof.

Whannn! Matthew has been being sweet and he is gonna get hurt! =( I cannot deal.

John McBain...way to be a good guy and stick with Brody and go get Liam. Oh good God...Ross just lifted his head up from poker to say "Go get 'em, John!" I feel the same way...shameful.

So you need that tape, Marty? How about going to get Liam a new binky? His is dirty...

Damn...Toad's bed is SMALL! How uncomfortable! Tea needs to BEAT HIS ASS!!!! Like yesterday...

So is Toad gonna be with Tomas now? Yes? SNAP! So he and Tomas are gonna be together. Toad is def hiding something and it has to do with Roger Howarth's Todd...awesomeness.

OMGEEZUS! I mean...they are gonna drag this Todd shit out for eons and God knows we don't have that long! UGH! Talk already! I have more fun with Barbies...seriously.

Omigod if I don't see Bo and Nora TOGETHER by Wednesday then I'm gonna lose my shit...I'm serious! Ross will be a witness...or victim!

Whew! I'm exhausted like no other and must awaken early! See you kiddies tomorrow evening!

Muah!

Mija

Will the Real Todd Manning Please Stand Up (Or just remain seated in the chair. As long as they show your face)?

Todd: "Yeah you ass hats...I'm back. Somebody had to come back and run shit before this ship sails in January."

Evening y'all! Sorry I'm just now doing round 2. While our apartment was getting viewed we shopped around...in the FREEZING weather. Anywho, I also just a poured a glass of some awesome and inexpensive wine I just bought: Cupcake Vineyards Red Velvet. I suggest everyone try it. Orgasmic, really. Especially with a bite of chocolate...OMG. Ok enough, sorry. Lemme go on and do this so I can enjoy the rest of the evening. I'll respond to earlier comments as soon as I post this. I honestly have no clue what happened on the show yesterday so this should be interesting. I usually have all the scoop but not for Friday. Hmmm.

Friday, May 13th

Ok, I see the promo for all this John and Natalie reuniting and UGH. I know: There are shit-ton of Jolie fans out there. Thank God at least MH feels the same way I do. I like John and Natalie...SEPARATELY. Together...they act differently and don't bring out the best in each other. I'm sure I just lost a bunch of readers thanks to those comments. Sorry. I have to be honest about how I feel. Anyway...

I'm BEYOND excited about RH's return! Show him now!!!!!! Cri*Cri* it's the day you have been waiting for! ;)

Damn...I mean Natty went off the roof like a flying squirrel!

Yeah, I still want Tomas and Tea to not be siblings and have wild, lewd, inappropriate sex.

Starr's outfit is cute, but I said that already.

AHHH!!!!! RH's lower body!

So, Joey is gonna have an epiphany and realize he is still in love with Kelly? Maybe? I dunno.

YES. I FLOVE Dorian in doctor mode. AHHHH!!!!! Vickster! I did NOT know she was gonna be on today. Now, if I can just get Bo and Nora on.

I must eat Liam for dinner. He is just so presh!!!

My God...John has comforted two women in one night.

Ok...so Todd is in the hospital. Kelly is, too. Plus Clint. Then Natalie will be there. Then Matthew next week. LORD HAVE MERCY!!!

DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!! Chicago news just interrupted the show for a tornado warning. Wait...really?! We get those here? Back home in in Louisiana, yes. I didn't know those happened here. TOTAL WOOF!!!! Wait...so the meteorologist just told everyone to leave their mobile homes. I mean, if you are elderly and alone and in a trailer what are you supposed to do? That sucks.

Ok...it resumed with Marty on the roof talking to herself. OMG OMG! I FLOVE that Marty continued to set the table ever so perfectly with the broken wine glass. Flove it. Gosh...every time they show Liam Ross and I both quickly go "awe." How lame are we? Sidenote/Shout-out: Christie...I'm talking about my Ross and not Ross Marler from GL. I'm still mourning his death. I'm taking a sip of wine for Blake Marler as we speak. =( Thank God JVD came to OLTL! I just love watching him...even when he is mute!

Line of the Day from Dorian: "So, apparently rumors of Marty Saybrooke's progress have been greatly exaggerated." LOL! You think?! Thanks to John's and Dr. Levin's shitastic decision making we get Marty's Playhouse on our screen. I, for one, am forever greatful for John's piss poor judgment...and his whispering...and his black clothing. Marty's solo show gets a standing ovation in this apartment...WORD! DAYUM...Dorian is crying. Plus, this is just something else shitty Vicki has to hear. Lord help us...

Well, I just got schooled. When John asked Natalie, "Are you in pain?" I said aloud..."Ummmm...yes, dipshit. She just got thrown from a roof." Ross was like "But ME, if she didn't feel anything then that would be even worse." Ugh! Ross is right. He isn't even paying attention to the show. He is playing poker yet he had to throw that peanut gallery comment in there...woof. But, we all remember Matthew's accident from 2009. So...it's better for her to feel pain. Ugh. I'm an idiot. Aaaand, there is Brody. What a situation.

How great is it to see Vickster and Mayor Lord together in scenes...just have to say. I love how Vicki is boosting Dorian. All this Joey shit. Desi, I know you mentioned Kevin earlier in your comment and I feel the same way: I'm STILL on team Kevin, too, and always will be. Plus, I just flove DG as Kevin. Totally fabu in every way and he adored Kelly to no end. Plus, I want to jump him. Travesty they don't bring him back on. Hell, someone has to raise Zane though. God knows Kelly is a total failure in the mothering department. Again, Kevin is so selfless...Zane ain't even his and he treats him as his own. Adorbs. OMG I just got off topic. Where was I? Oh, yes. However, the writers are gonna shove this Joey loves Kelly thing down our throats...I think. Of course, this all comes to be just as Aubs realizes she loves Joey. Oy. I will say these scenes are kinda sweet. Sorry. I kinda love them.

Dammit..Liam RUN! You can do it! Get away from this bitch! She is gonna boil your toys!

Lord..."his dad went to get him [Liam]." Heavens to Betsy. We know...Natalie will tell him the truth soon.

Wow...so each episode Tomas unbuttons one more button on his shirt. I swear. He'll have the thing off two episodes from now.

Barf. I'm NOT enjoying these Toad/Starr/Blair scenes. Like...at all. I just wanna see the REAL Todd. ASAP.

I can honestly say I have ZERO clue as to what this Todd stuff is about...all this agency talk, etc. Ummmm....those white canvas shoes on the REAL Todd must be removed. So hideous.

Yeah, I'm not discussing the Blair/Toad/Starr scenes. All I'll say is that Blair needs to wise-up. Hello? Eli?!

I mean...Tea's is gonna wear that dress in front of a bunch of prisoners?! Is she asking to get effed?! REALLY?! These people haven't had ass in awhile....just sayin'.

Yeah...Joey is gonna go down this "nothing has been right since you" nonsense. Heaven help us.

Vickster is right. Totally true...she DID love Kelly as her own. Aw hell....now Vickster is gonna have to deal with Natalie, too! DUH, Mary-Ella! I TOTALLY did not think about that! Work (and wine) has addled my brain this week. Now Vicki is gonna have Clint AND Natty in the hospital. Plus, I think Liam gets snatched?

Ah...there's little Liam. DAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!!! Brody got knocked the f*@k out!!! I DID NOT see that coming! Nor did I even know about it!!! Snap! Marty is batshit! I love it! This is like trashy fighting coming from Marty. I feel like I'm back home...

Aw hell. Vicki dealt with more bad news. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. How much can this woman handle!?

Tea and Tomas...DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER tornado update! Sonofabitch I cannot deal with this! I mean...thank God Bo and Nora aren't on today because I would have pulled a Marty Saybrooke in this apartment thanks to all these interruptions. Good thing they weren't on because I'd hate to throw Ross off the roof. I'm sorry...I could watch online and do this but that would make things more difficult. Ugh...if I would have known of these interruptions I would have dvr'd Soapnet. Again, this leave the mobile homes thing is killing me. Mainly because the storm and tornado already started. So, half of these people probably aren't even seeing this news brief...hmmm.

Okay, it resumed in the middle of Vickster and the man in black talking. Oh Vicki...YES, Marty most def did this.

LOL...I had to laugh at Marty with all this "kid isn't even his" stuff and how he "brought all this on himself." Then she called him a bastard...nice. I mean...let's all just agree that Marty left her brain at the LPD when Natty wouldn't lie about the evidence in Eli's shooting. So...November? Yeah...around then. That was the beginning of the end...

I can just watch Marty talk to herself out loud all damn day!!!!! Her soliloquies are so bad ass and choice. Oh, and Susan Haskell is THE SHIT! Hate she won't be around long after RH's return...FAIL!

I flove Joe and Dorian scenes. I really do.

Wait...did Blair just say "ho'ing out on us here?!" Lemme rewind that. DAMN. I thought she did. I always say "ho'ing out." Ugh...she said "holding out." Poo.

Tea's lips look lucious and so shiny! Heavens! She is hot to trot today! TEA...Tomas is trying to warn you about Toad!!! Your REAL Todd is locked up right now! For realzies!!!!

Wow...so Natty has no skull damage but Matthew is gonna be practically brain dead after Nate hits him next week?! Damn you never know.

Damn, I figured Marty would answer the phone since John was calling. But, even crazy she is effing smart. LOL...so Marty says everything twice now. To Brody: "You ready? You ready?" LOL. I flove her.

Hell, it will be next week before Natalie spits out this "John the baby is really yours" shit.

Lord...Vicki needs to go to a spa treatment after all this. Or...just a 2 week getaway! She needs to leave town for a bit to relax! Heavens!

Man, John is tough on victims that were just injured. I mean, Kelly and Natalie were near death and couldn't talk and he is like "tell me what happened." LOL.

Aaaand, there is no way that is Liam's sock. That damn thing was HUGE!!! Way too long! Glad Brodster woke up. Word. Ok, so I kinda hate that Brody is searching for Liam when the child isn't his...heart is breaking.

I will say that Natalie's injuries look real.

WTF. Toad just left? Aaaand snap...he is now with Tomas. My money is on Tomas.

AHHHH! Show his face! Scar and all! My heart literally just skipped a damn beat!!!! AH! I hate it's the last scene. Woof!!!! Welcome back, RH! You've been missed.

I mean, if I don't see Bo and Nora next week I'm gonna lose it. I'm thinking Wednesday. Lord it's been awhile!

Well...this episode was good. It wasn't my fav but good.

Ok, off to enjoy the evening after I quickly respond to comments. Y'all have a great Saturday night!

xx,

Mija

Marty's Fun House: Featuring the Flying Natalie Buchanan. Free Admission

Marty: "AHHHHHH!!!!! I am such a badass! I'm gonna start charging admission to my awesome show!"

Happy Saturday! Ok, I have to say this again: I'm so damn sorry for this Blogger issue! If it happens again I'm swithing to WordPress. WORD! Anyway, I'll do a full Thursday post now and then a full Friday post (either immediately after this one or later this afternoon...people are coming to see our apartment...WOOF. Hate being here when they do that...awkward!). In awesome news: Ross knows how to do screen captures (God knows I don't see I don't know shit about computers) and he managed to get my FAVORITE part of the show today in a pic. Amazeballs! Anyway, I'm rested and ready to go! Sooo...

Thursday, May 12th

Lawd...Natty and Marty! OMG OMG...how presh does little Liam look?! Adorbs and helpless. Awe.

Sweet Jesus! Clint and Vicki scenes on the way! These will be fabulous! I KNOW they will put these two together before the show ends and I'm beyond elated. JVD and ES have never been romantic on the show since he took over as Clint so I'm pretty pumped about their inevitable reunion as a couple. FACT: Clint is the most dapper sonofabitch on the planet. Even in a hospital bed.

F*@kin' shit. I'm so over this Minuteman Motel mess. I was over this hellhole after the Eddie/Nora fiasco. God, Nora. Will you please show back up on this show? Please. For my sanity. Seriously though, I don't know why the writers love writing scenes that take place at this chlamydia-ridden no tell motel. DAMMIT!

Oooookay, so I know that a lot of people think this Wes/Wess thing is funny and amusing. I however do not. I'm over this shit already. Sure Bree Williamson is a great actress, but please...

May I just say I FLOVE Dorian and Joe! Even more so than David and Dorian. PLEASE don't kill me for saying that! Oh, and seriously did y'all notice Joey's new side part?! WTF?

God, Clint is delicious. How FABOOSH does the Vickster look in her blue with the gold jewelry?! I KNOW I am gonna cry watching this...dammit. God, a Ben Davidson reference. WHY bring this up?! Well, I know why...the heart reference but still. I have mentally blocked out that whole damn period of time on the show. It was just too much for my little high school mind to handle at the time. Sheesh! LOL..."Ok, well that's probably the worst idea I have ever heard." Agreed Queen V. His kiddies should know.

Who doesn't give two shits about these Brody/Cutter scenes?! My puppy and me. We hate these Minuteman shots. FAIL.

Christian is obviously the driving force of the show and personally I think the ending in January should totally revolve around his character. He is so pertinent to the OLTL canvas. His actions affect all the characters on the show. Not to mention, he is one helluva art teacher.

I just can't fathom that Dorian would hang out at a club where this shiteous music would be playing...whether it's Blair's club or not. Dorian's reactions to Wes/Wess were priceless.

Lawd...I'm about to pass the f*@k out! Did John just call Kelly sweetheart?! Rewind. Ummm yes he did. I can't recall if I have ever heard him say that before. I didn't know he even knew what a sweetheart was. Unbelievable.

I love that Natalie is talking to Liam as if he would respond to her. Aaaaaand, somebody give me the number of Susan Haskell's trainer. That bitch must have the best biceps and triceps EVER. She's been holding on for quite a bit. Must get those digits...

I am pretty sure that EVERY effing visitor has handed Clint water. Timeout: AS IF Renee wouldn't be here. PUH-LEEZE!!!!! Bring that fabu bitch back to the screen!!! I have NO WORDS for these Vicki/Clint scenes. Just THAT flippin' fab.

I'm not commenting on the Chlamydia Motel scenes. I'll get an infection...

I'm sorry but when Christian said Jessica was a "dude" I did laugh. YES Joe left Aubs in the dust to vamoose with Dorian to the hospital. Awesome town! Still flove Aubs hair parted...small favors are the shit.

Kelly is doing a fabulous job in these hospital scenes! Oooooh we are gonna have a flashback to the Marty/Kelly scenes! PLEASE show when Marty said "Whatcha doin? Whatcha doin?" while pointing the beer bottle and breaking it!? My favorite part!!!! I also chuckle everytime Kelly said she walked into "The Twilight Zone" by mistake. I'm sorry, but I enjoyed the Marty/Kelly scenes more than these Natty ones because Marty is so vocal! Aaaaaand they showed my favorite part!!!! AWESOMENESS! Whatcha doin?! Whatcha doin?!

Yeah...if anything is learned from these Natty/Marty scenes it's that SH has strong biceps/triceps. Let's all take that away from this.

On a sidenote: I'm very interested in Latisse. I think I could use more eyelashes. However, Cover Girl LashBlast Fusion does the job...

I just want Vicki to crawl in the bed with Clint and snuggle with him. Is that wrong?

Lord have mercy. Somebody effing papercut my ass...immediately! These Wes scenes are ATROSH!!!! This could be Vicki/Clint or Natty/Marty time!!! Total woof!

Rama, I suggest you do NOT get a Delhi Belly. Totally fattening. You're starting to drink them all the time. You can still drink things that aren't fattening. Take it from me.

Ok, so I kinda like the doctor in Kelly's room. He is running shit. Whoa...affection from John to Kelly. I flove it. Ah...John almost told Natty he loved her at the end of the vmail. ALMOST.

Flove the pic of John on Natty's phone. LOL. Aw hell, Natty she is gonna try and kill your ass. Just call for help. I mean, her triceps and biceps could bear another 20 minutes easily until help arrives.

May I just say it has been wonderful to not see the Fords today...just sayin'. Or NuJack and his mini douche of a sidekick, Brad. WORD! ;)

I cannot mentally handle Vicki and Clint tearing up! Ah. And, yes it was Nora and Bo that started this shit and we are gonna have to hear Nora feel guilty about that soon...lord have mercy. OMG...Clint adopting Kevin and Joey. No words for this preciousness. AHHHHHH!!!!! For a minute, I forgot about all the terrible things Clint has done lately. Just for a minute...

Yeah, Marty basically pulled her damn self up from that ledge. Natalie's help really wasn't needed.

Yes...Dorian's driver in the background! Joe...STFU. I cannot handle you blaming John right now. Let's all remember if it wasn't for John's piss poor judgment then Marty could NOT have the freedom to spread her crazy sauce all over Llanview. Let's be thankful! NOT ungrateful Joe! ha!

Eh...missed the Aubs/Cutter scenes. To hell with it...

Yeah...Christian needs to be in the last scene of OLTL. This show revolves around him. Word, yo.

Well, Brody is a good guy and I feel for him. That's all I got...

AHHHH! This discussion about Vicki and Clint's relationship. Clint: "Any fool who would lose you deserves what he gets. Believe me. I oughta know." AMEN!!! haha...."Okay, then he's not a DUMB jackass." Ummmmm...hate to disagree with you Silver Fox. Chuckles is still dumb as a f*@kin' doorknob. He's just an incompetent ass clown with a phonetics problem and I'm sticking by that. Hate to disagree with ya, CB. Lawd...Clint said "Chuckles."

Wait!!!!!!!!!! OMG, so does anyone think the cop looks like Tim Meadows aka "The Ladies' Man?!" Please tell me someone else thought this?! Snap! I'm peeing on myself! A "Commisioner" reference. Dammit, I miss Bo. =(

YES...Dorian will pull the doctor card I know it. Aaaand, she did. Doctor Lord. Love it.

Yeah, Joey loves Kelly.

UGH eff this Wes shit. SNAP! Damn Rama why don't you just spread your legs on the bar!? "Haven't you ever had a virgin?" DAYUM.

Finally...back to the Marty/Natty shit. TIMEOUT: May I just say that a ledge that is that low is just stupid. STUPID. These scenes are too quick! Why does OLTL do that?! All the scenes people want to see are short as shit!

Wait...the brunette in the background at Capricorn has on the cutest dress. Adorbs.

I'm sorry but I think these Joey/Kelly scenes are sweet. That is true...they have been in each other's lives forever. Too sweet.

LOL! "Well these days nobody can't count on the goodness of MY heart." All these heart references! That's right, V. You DO NOT want to know what Doctor Lord did to Clint.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! When Marty when "whaaaa" and threw her hands up in the air, I'm pretty sure my damn life just got made! Ross and I rewound that shit like 5 times and peed on ourselves!!!! Floved it! This bitch is CRAY CRAY!

Damn, so Natalie crushed the bench?! Maybe that broke the fall a bit...

WHEW...good episode overall! Ummmm and I think Blogger effing removed comments from my effing comments from my last two posts! FAIL! I wanted to respond. They were HILARIOUS!!!!! F*@k!

Oh and snap! RH is back tomorrow! Cri*Cri* you excited?! ;)

xxxxx,

Mija

Yes Blogger, I'm Talking to YOU!!!!

OMG y'all! Who do I have to sleep with to get Blogger to work correctly?! I swear I'm gonna switch to another blog site. And, thank God I have witnesses to this Blogger.com fiasco! I swear I haven't bailed on all of you! Blogger has been screwy for a week and wouldn't let me post AT ALL last night! Total woof. Plus, I awoke this morning to BOTH of my posts from Wednesday missing. Thankfully, I found out that Blogger deleted almost everyone's recent blog posts and they were to be restored. Thankfully, my Wednesday posts were back up this afternoon. Whew!

Anyway, I JUST walked in the door from work. Gonna post tomorrow. Thursday's show was fabu. Haven't watched today's yet. See you kiddies at some point tomorrow!

Much love,

Miffed Mija