Will the Real Todd Manning Please Stand Up (Or just remain seated in the chair. As long as they show your face)?

Todd: "Yeah you ass hats...I'm back. Somebody had to come back and run shit before this ship sails in January."

Evening y'all! Sorry I'm just now doing round 2. While our apartment was getting viewed we shopped around...in the FREEZING weather. Anywho, I also just a poured a glass of some awesome and inexpensive wine I just bought: Cupcake Vineyards Red Velvet. I suggest everyone try it. Orgasmic, really. Especially with a bite of chocolate...OMG. Ok enough, sorry. Lemme go on and do this so I can enjoy the rest of the evening. I'll respond to earlier comments as soon as I post this. I honestly have no clue what happened on the show yesterday so this should be interesting. I usually have all the scoop but not for Friday. Hmmm.

Friday, May 13th

Ok, I see the promo for all this John and Natalie reuniting and UGH. I know: There are shit-ton of Jolie fans out there. Thank God at least MH feels the same way I do. I like John and Natalie...SEPARATELY. Together...they act differently and don't bring out the best in each other. I'm sure I just lost a bunch of readers thanks to those comments. Sorry. I have to be honest about how I feel. Anyway...

I'm BEYOND excited about RH's return! Show him now!!!!!! Cri*Cri* it's the day you have been waiting for! ;)

Damn...I mean Natty went off the roof like a flying squirrel!

Yeah, I still want Tomas and Tea to not be siblings and have wild, lewd, inappropriate sex.

Starr's outfit is cute, but I said that already.

AHHH!!!!! RH's lower body!

So, Joey is gonna have an epiphany and realize he is still in love with Kelly? Maybe? I dunno.

YES. I FLOVE Dorian in doctor mode. AHHHH!!!!! Vickster! I did NOT know she was gonna be on today. Now, if I can just get Bo and Nora on.

I must eat Liam for dinner. He is just so presh!!!

My God...John has comforted two women in one night.

Ok...so Todd is in the hospital. Kelly is, too. Plus Clint. Then Natalie will be there. Then Matthew next week. LORD HAVE MERCY!!!

DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!! Chicago news just interrupted the show for a tornado warning. Wait...really?! We get those here? Back home in in Louisiana, yes. I didn't know those happened here. TOTAL WOOF!!!! Wait...so the meteorologist just told everyone to leave their mobile homes. I mean, if you are elderly and alone and in a trailer what are you supposed to do? That sucks.

Ok...it resumed with Marty on the roof talking to herself. OMG OMG! I FLOVE that Marty continued to set the table ever so perfectly with the broken wine glass. Flove it. Gosh...every time they show Liam Ross and I both quickly go "awe." How lame are we? Sidenote/Shout-out: Christie...I'm talking about my Ross and not Ross Marler from GL. I'm still mourning his death. I'm taking a sip of wine for Blake Marler as we speak. =( Thank God JVD came to OLTL! I just love watching him...even when he is mute!

Line of the Day from Dorian: "So, apparently rumors of Marty Saybrooke's progress have been greatly exaggerated." LOL! You think?! Thanks to John's and Dr. Levin's shitastic decision making we get Marty's Playhouse on our screen. I, for one, am forever greatful for John's piss poor judgment...and his whispering...and his black clothing. Marty's solo show gets a standing ovation in this apartment...WORD! DAYUM...Dorian is crying. Plus, this is just something else shitty Vicki has to hear. Lord help us...

Well, I just got schooled. When John asked Natalie, "Are you in pain?" I said aloud..."Ummmm...yes, dipshit. She just got thrown from a roof." Ross was like "But ME, if she didn't feel anything then that would be even worse." Ugh! Ross is right. He isn't even paying attention to the show. He is playing poker yet he had to throw that peanut gallery comment in there...woof. But, we all remember Matthew's accident from 2009. So...it's better for her to feel pain. Ugh. I'm an idiot. Aaaand, there is Brody. What a situation.

How great is it to see Vickster and Mayor Lord together in scenes...just have to say. I love how Vicki is boosting Dorian. All this Joey shit. Desi, I know you mentioned Kevin earlier in your comment and I feel the same way: I'm STILL on team Kevin, too, and always will be. Plus, I just flove DG as Kevin. Totally fabu in every way and he adored Kelly to no end. Plus, I want to jump him. Travesty they don't bring him back on. Hell, someone has to raise Zane though. God knows Kelly is a total failure in the mothering department. Again, Kevin is so selfless...Zane ain't even his and he treats him as his own. Adorbs. OMG I just got off topic. Where was I? Oh, yes. However, the writers are gonna shove this Joey loves Kelly thing down our throats...I think. Of course, this all comes to be just as Aubs realizes she loves Joey. Oy. I will say these scenes are kinda sweet. Sorry. I kinda love them.

Dammit..Liam RUN! You can do it! Get away from this bitch! She is gonna boil your toys!

Lord..."his dad went to get him [Liam]." Heavens to Betsy. We know...Natalie will tell him the truth soon.

Wow...so each episode Tomas unbuttons one more button on his shirt. I swear. He'll have the thing off two episodes from now.

Barf. I'm NOT enjoying these Toad/Starr/Blair scenes. Like...at all. I just wanna see the REAL Todd. ASAP.

I can honestly say I have ZERO clue as to what this Todd stuff is about...all this agency talk, etc. Ummmm....those white canvas shoes on the REAL Todd must be removed. So hideous.

Yeah, I'm not discussing the Blair/Toad/Starr scenes. All I'll say is that Blair needs to wise-up. Hello? Eli?!

I mean...Tea's is gonna wear that dress in front of a bunch of prisoners?! Is she asking to get effed?! REALLY?! These people haven't had ass in awhile....just sayin'.

Yeah...Joey is gonna go down this "nothing has been right since you" nonsense. Heaven help us.

Vickster is right. Totally true...she DID love Kelly as her own. Aw hell....now Vickster is gonna have to deal with Natalie, too! DUH, Mary-Ella! I TOTALLY did not think about that! Work (and wine) has addled my brain this week. Now Vicki is gonna have Clint AND Natty in the hospital. Plus, I think Liam gets snatched?

Ah...there's little Liam. DAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!!!!!! Brody got knocked the f*@k out!!! I DID NOT see that coming! Nor did I even know about it!!! Snap! Marty is batshit! I love it! This is like trashy fighting coming from Marty. I feel like I'm back home...

Aw hell. Vicki dealt with more bad news. Jesus, Mary and Joseph. How much can this woman handle!?

Tea and Tomas...DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANOTHER tornado update! Sonofabitch I cannot deal with this! I mean...thank God Bo and Nora aren't on today because I would have pulled a Marty Saybrooke in this apartment thanks to all these interruptions. Good thing they weren't on because I'd hate to throw Ross off the roof. I'm sorry...I could watch online and do this but that would make things more difficult. Ugh...if I would have known of these interruptions I would have dvr'd Soapnet. Again, this leave the mobile homes thing is killing me. Mainly because the storm and tornado already started. So, half of these people probably aren't even seeing this news brief...hmmm.

Okay, it resumed in the middle of Vickster and the man in black talking. Oh Vicki...YES, Marty most def did this.

LOL...I had to laugh at Marty with all this "kid isn't even his" stuff and how he "brought all this on himself." Then she called him a bastard...nice. I mean...let's all just agree that Marty left her brain at the LPD when Natty wouldn't lie about the evidence in Eli's shooting. So...November? Yeah...around then. That was the beginning of the end...

I can just watch Marty talk to herself out loud all damn day!!!!! Her soliloquies are so bad ass and choice. Oh, and Susan Haskell is THE SHIT! Hate she won't be around long after RH's return...FAIL!

I flove Joe and Dorian scenes. I really do.

Wait...did Blair just say "ho'ing out on us here?!" Lemme rewind that. DAMN. I thought she did. I always say "ho'ing out." Ugh...she said "holding out." Poo.

Tea's lips look lucious and so shiny! Heavens! She is hot to trot today! TEA...Tomas is trying to warn you about Toad!!! Your REAL Todd is locked up right now! For realzies!!!!

Wow...so Natty has no skull damage but Matthew is gonna be practically brain dead after Nate hits him next week?! Damn you never know.

Damn, I figured Marty would answer the phone since John was calling. But, even crazy she is effing smart. LOL...so Marty says everything twice now. To Brody: "You ready? You ready?" LOL. I flove her.

Hell, it will be next week before Natalie spits out this "John the baby is really yours" shit.

Lord...Vicki needs to go to a spa treatment after all this. Or...just a 2 week getaway! She needs to leave town for a bit to relax! Heavens!

Man, John is tough on victims that were just injured. I mean, Kelly and Natalie were near death and couldn't talk and he is like "tell me what happened." LOL.

Aaaand, there is no way that is Liam's sock. That damn thing was HUGE!!! Way too long! Glad Brodster woke up. Word. Ok, so I kinda hate that Brody is searching for Liam when the child isn't his...heart is breaking.

I will say that Natalie's injuries look real.

WTF. Toad just left? Aaaand snap...he is now with Tomas. My money is on Tomas.

AHHHH! Show his face! Scar and all! My heart literally just skipped a damn beat!!!! AH! I hate it's the last scene. Woof!!!! Welcome back, RH! You've been missed.

I mean, if I don't see Bo and Nora next week I'm gonna lose it. I'm thinking Wednesday. Lord it's been awhile!

Well...this episode was good. It wasn't my fav but good.

Ok, off to enjoy the evening after I quickly respond to comments. Y'all have a great Saturday night!

xx,

Mija

Marty's Fun House: Featuring the Flying Natalie Buchanan. Free Admission

Marty: "AHHHHHH!!!!! I am such a badass! I'm gonna start charging admission to my awesome show!"

Happy Saturday! Ok, I have to say this again: I'm so damn sorry for this Blogger issue! If it happens again I'm swithing to WordPress. WORD! Anyway, I'll do a full Thursday post now and then a full Friday post (either immediately after this one or later this afternoon...people are coming to see our apartment...WOOF. Hate being here when they do that...awkward!). In awesome news: Ross knows how to do screen captures (God knows I don't see I don't know shit about computers) and he managed to get my FAVORITE part of the show today in a pic. Amazeballs! Anyway, I'm rested and ready to go! Sooo...

Thursday, May 12th

Lawd...Natty and Marty! OMG OMG...how presh does little Liam look?! Adorbs and helpless. Awe.

Sweet Jesus! Clint and Vicki scenes on the way! These will be fabulous! I KNOW they will put these two together before the show ends and I'm beyond elated. JVD and ES have never been romantic on the show since he took over as Clint so I'm pretty pumped about their inevitable reunion as a couple. FACT: Clint is the most dapper sonofabitch on the planet. Even in a hospital bed.

F*@kin' shit. I'm so over this Minuteman Motel mess. I was over this hellhole after the Eddie/Nora fiasco. God, Nora. Will you please show back up on this show? Please. For my sanity. Seriously though, I don't know why the writers love writing scenes that take place at this chlamydia-ridden no tell motel. DAMMIT!

Oooookay, so I know that a lot of people think this Wes/Wess thing is funny and amusing. I however do not. I'm over this shit already. Sure Bree Williamson is a great actress, but please...

May I just say I FLOVE Dorian and Joe! Even more so than David and Dorian. PLEASE don't kill me for saying that! Oh, and seriously did y'all notice Joey's new side part?! WTF?

God, Clint is delicious. How FABOOSH does the Vickster look in her blue with the gold jewelry?! I KNOW I am gonna cry watching this...dammit. God, a Ben Davidson reference. WHY bring this up?! Well, I know why...the heart reference but still. I have mentally blocked out that whole damn period of time on the show. It was just too much for my little high school mind to handle at the time. Sheesh! LOL..."Ok, well that's probably the worst idea I have ever heard." Agreed Queen V. His kiddies should know.

Who doesn't give two shits about these Brody/Cutter scenes?! My puppy and me. We hate these Minuteman shots. FAIL.

Christian is obviously the driving force of the show and personally I think the ending in January should totally revolve around his character. He is so pertinent to the OLTL canvas. His actions affect all the characters on the show. Not to mention, he is one helluva art teacher.

I just can't fathom that Dorian would hang out at a club where this shiteous music would be playing...whether it's Blair's club or not. Dorian's reactions to Wes/Wess were priceless.

Lawd...I'm about to pass the f*@k out! Did John just call Kelly sweetheart?! Rewind. Ummm yes he did. I can't recall if I have ever heard him say that before. I didn't know he even knew what a sweetheart was. Unbelievable.

I love that Natalie is talking to Liam as if he would respond to her. Aaaaaand, somebody give me the number of Susan Haskell's trainer. That bitch must have the best biceps and triceps EVER. She's been holding on for quite a bit. Must get those digits...

I am pretty sure that EVERY effing visitor has handed Clint water. Timeout: AS IF Renee wouldn't be here. PUH-LEEZE!!!!! Bring that fabu bitch back to the screen!!! I have NO WORDS for these Vicki/Clint scenes. Just THAT flippin' fab.

I'm not commenting on the Chlamydia Motel scenes. I'll get an infection...

I'm sorry but when Christian said Jessica was a "dude" I did laugh. YES Joe left Aubs in the dust to vamoose with Dorian to the hospital. Awesome town! Still flove Aubs hair parted...small favors are the shit.

Kelly is doing a fabulous job in these hospital scenes! Oooooh we are gonna have a flashback to the Marty/Kelly scenes! PLEASE show when Marty said "Whatcha doin? Whatcha doin?" while pointing the beer bottle and breaking it!? My favorite part!!!! I also chuckle everytime Kelly said she walked into "The Twilight Zone" by mistake. I'm sorry, but I enjoyed the Marty/Kelly scenes more than these Natty ones because Marty is so vocal! Aaaaaand they showed my favorite part!!!! AWESOMENESS! Whatcha doin?! Whatcha doin?!

Yeah...if anything is learned from these Natty/Marty scenes it's that SH has strong biceps/triceps. Let's all take that away from this.

On a sidenote: I'm very interested in Latisse. I think I could use more eyelashes. However, Cover Girl LashBlast Fusion does the job...

I just want Vicki to crawl in the bed with Clint and snuggle with him. Is that wrong?

Lord have mercy. Somebody effing papercut my ass...immediately! These Wes scenes are ATROSH!!!! This could be Vicki/Clint or Natty/Marty time!!! Total woof!

Rama, I suggest you do NOT get a Delhi Belly. Totally fattening. You're starting to drink them all the time. You can still drink things that aren't fattening. Take it from me.

Ok, so I kinda like the doctor in Kelly's room. He is running shit. Whoa...affection from John to Kelly. I flove it. Ah...John almost told Natty he loved her at the end of the vmail. ALMOST.

Flove the pic of John on Natty's phone. LOL. Aw hell, Natty she is gonna try and kill your ass. Just call for help. I mean, her triceps and biceps could bear another 20 minutes easily until help arrives.

May I just say it has been wonderful to not see the Fords today...just sayin'. Or NuJack and his mini douche of a sidekick, Brad. WORD! ;)

I cannot mentally handle Vicki and Clint tearing up! Ah. And, yes it was Nora and Bo that started this shit and we are gonna have to hear Nora feel guilty about that soon...lord have mercy. OMG...Clint adopting Kevin and Joey. No words for this preciousness. AHHHHHH!!!!! For a minute, I forgot about all the terrible things Clint has done lately. Just for a minute...

Yeah, Marty basically pulled her damn self up from that ledge. Natalie's help really wasn't needed.

Yes...Dorian's driver in the background! Joe...STFU. I cannot handle you blaming John right now. Let's all remember if it wasn't for John's piss poor judgment then Marty could NOT have the freedom to spread her crazy sauce all over Llanview. Let's be thankful! NOT ungrateful Joe! ha!

Eh...missed the Aubs/Cutter scenes. To hell with it...

Yeah...Christian needs to be in the last scene of OLTL. This show revolves around him. Word, yo.

Well, Brody is a good guy and I feel for him. That's all I got...

AHHHH! This discussion about Vicki and Clint's relationship. Clint: "Any fool who would lose you deserves what he gets. Believe me. I oughta know." AMEN!!! haha...."Okay, then he's not a DUMB jackass." Ummmmm...hate to disagree with you Silver Fox. Chuckles is still dumb as a f*@kin' doorknob. He's just an incompetent ass clown with a phonetics problem and I'm sticking by that. Hate to disagree with ya, CB. Lawd...Clint said "Chuckles."

Wait!!!!!!!!!! OMG, so does anyone think the cop looks like Tim Meadows aka "The Ladies' Man?!" Please tell me someone else thought this?! Snap! I'm peeing on myself! A "Commisioner" reference. Dammit, I miss Bo. =(

YES...Dorian will pull the doctor card I know it. Aaaand, she did. Doctor Lord. Love it.

Yeah, Joey loves Kelly.

UGH eff this Wes shit. SNAP! Damn Rama why don't you just spread your legs on the bar!? "Haven't you ever had a virgin?" DAYUM.

Finally...back to the Marty/Natty shit. TIMEOUT: May I just say that a ledge that is that low is just stupid. STUPID. These scenes are too quick! Why does OLTL do that?! All the scenes people want to see are short as shit!

Wait...the brunette in the background at Capricorn has on the cutest dress. Adorbs.

I'm sorry but I think these Joey/Kelly scenes are sweet. That is true...they have been in each other's lives forever. Too sweet.

LOL! "Well these days nobody can't count on the goodness of MY heart." All these heart references! That's right, V. You DO NOT want to know what Doctor Lord did to Clint.

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!! When Marty when "whaaaa" and threw her hands up in the air, I'm pretty sure my damn life just got made! Ross and I rewound that shit like 5 times and peed on ourselves!!!! Floved it! This bitch is CRAY CRAY!

Damn, so Natalie crushed the bench?! Maybe that broke the fall a bit...

WHEW...good episode overall! Ummmm and I think Blogger effing removed comments from my effing comments from my last two posts! FAIL! I wanted to respond. They were HILARIOUS!!!!! F*@k!

Oh and snap! RH is back tomorrow! Cri*Cri* you excited?! ;)

xxxxx,

Mija

Yes Blogger, I'm Talking to YOU!!!!

OMG y'all! Who do I have to sleep with to get Blogger to work correctly?! I swear I'm gonna switch to another blog site. And, thank God I have witnesses to this Blogger.com fiasco! I swear I haven't bailed on all of you! Blogger has been screwy for a week and wouldn't let me post AT ALL last night! Total woof. Plus, I awoke this morning to BOTH of my posts from Wednesday missing. Thankfully, I found out that Blogger deleted almost everyone's recent blog posts and they were to be restored. Thankfully, my Wednesday posts were back up this afternoon. Whew!

Anyway, I JUST walked in the door from work. Gonna post tomorrow. Thursday's show was fabu. Haven't watched today's yet. See you kiddies at some point tomorrow!

Much love,

Miffed Mija

Natalie, Welcome to the Dinner Party from Hell.

Dear Natalie, The real reason I can't be with you is because you love artichokes (just like every other woman I've been with). Also, you like Hounds beer instead of Jim Daniels. This relationship was doomed to fail. I'm sorry. John McBain

Ooookay. Here I am for round 2! I heard I'm gonna FLOVE today's episode! Can't wait for the Marty Madness to continue. Hell, I need something positive and exciting since I'm still so damn distraught over the Bo/Nora/Matthew thing coming up...good God almighty!!! I'm hoping it's just misleading...woof.

Wednesday, May 11th

Oh WOOOOOOOOOF!!!!!!!!!! Wes?! This is about 10 shades of dumb. Where did that ski cap even come from?! It's May for crying out loud! FAIL.

Those damn Delhi Bellies. Damn you Christian Vega for making them for Rama! Lord his character has no direction. Oh, and damn! So Aubs got all decked out, huh?! She changed out of her white Ann Taylor cardigan and into that green frock. Sidenote: I have a green dress almost identical.

Be still my heart!!! Oooh bad reference given his physical health...sorry. Anyway, who cares? It's Clint! Hiiiii Gorgeous! Missed you!

AND Vickster. This is awesome. Poor baby looks despondent! LOL...Ross is outraged: "Who the hell is Lois?!"

Oooookay. Been waiting on this shit at John's nasty apt. Aw hell!!!!!! A bloody place card!? Now that is my kinda dinner party.

I love Clint's pjs. Now, if we can get him in that monogrammed "CB" robe of his we will be in business. Clint looked like he was just gonna stroke out after Joey dropped the Tess bomb.

Wes is f*@kin' nuts. I'm watching these scenes in disbelief.

Time out!!!!! I'm sorry I have to go there with this...Echo's hair. Just no. NO!!! Tell you what...just IMAGINE what I am thinking about it right now. Whatever bad thought pops in your head is probably accurate! Woof! I do love ya, KZ. Keep it real (and don't do this haircut again). "The Lush of Llanview." "The Minx of the Minuteman." OMG...hi Dorian!!!! You are so fab! So nice to SEE your hair today, too!

Lord I had to laugh when Vicki asked John if Natty was working a case for him...LOL! As if she is a badass CSU!? Why can't they just say CSI instead of CSU?!

God Bless America! Just show Kelly for crying out loud! Oh shit...Natty/Marty on the roof. As if we don't see where this is headed. On another tangent, I wonder if all this Matthew spoiler mess (I'm not going in detail for those who don't read spoilers) is a red herring and Natalie really dies and is a match for Clint. He does have a rare blood type and all. Eh...probably not. I'm sure I'll think of something different tomorrow.

DAMMIT! Lois references out the ass today!!! Guess what I'm about to say: "Poor Vicki." Dammit she can't catch a break. Regardless, I most def think she can do better than Chuckie B. so it needs to happen, but divorce sucks...in any instance. =(

These Echo/Dorian scenes are totally faboosh! Dorian managed to cut down both Echo AND Christian. Too much vermouth in the martini...flove it.

I love how Rama was so damn upset about Aubrey's and Cutter's change in plans. LOL! "Since when and why wasn't I informed?"

I tell you what...for someone that is dying, that Clint Buchanan sure looks dapper. Word, yo.

I'm not really into the Wes stuff. I'm sorry everyone. Maybe by the end of the episode?

Aaaand, my heart is kinda breaking watching Charlie and Vickster. Suckytown. Depressionville. I hate break-ups. Well, ones that seem "real." They seem quite believable.

Where the hell are the Marty/Natty scenes?! Dammit to hell, OLTL! Where is Kelly's bloody ass?! Show them, writers! If not, I'll cut your asses with a beer bottle! ;)

Robin Strasser is totally rocking my socks today!!!! TOTALLY!

Lord a Paris, Texas, reference. Ross died out laughing when Charlie mentioned it...

Missed the Aubs/Rama scene. Oh well...

One of the many reasons I love Clint: "Aw God if you gotta think about it Joe that's not good." To the point and hilarious. Flove it. AW SHIT!!!! Joey did indeed remove that binky, y'all! He is totally figuring shit out. Come on boy. Don't let me down!

Wait...no I don't have a similar dress to Aubs. I thought it was one shoulder, but it's not. Hmmm.

Clint, just spill it to Joe. xx

Wes: "Who's ready to get their drink on?" F*@k this...

OH.HELL.YES! John back at his scummy apartment! Go find Kelly, John McBain! That blood everywhere is gonna stain! Seriously! Marty's sauce is still on my floor so I can't imagine blood. Oy! I know Natty didn't make a copy of that tape. Woof.

Look at Dorian Lord pronouncing Carlotta and Christian correctly! Now...if EVERYONE on this show could pronounce everyone's name the same we would be in business. I'd love to see this happen before January. God bless.

Now Vicki's crying. Sonofabitch. I want to cry!!!!!! Aaaaand, I teared up. =( He called her Vicki D., too. Lord. That's it? No more Charlie ever?

I'm sorry but I'm so over Wes...like yesterday. I think it has a lot to do with the fact I'm tired of these alters now. Just stick with Tess or something and let's move on. I need the show to focus on more important matters since we don't have much more time left.

Clint is just not holding back huh?! LOL. "Groping each other for good measure." Aaand, I will now use that phrase. Flove it. Ok, so HOW STUPID does Joey feel right now? Rephrase: How stupid SHOULD Joey feel right now?! These Clint/Joey scenes are FABOOSH! Surprisingly.

Come on, John!!! Open that door in true John McBain fashion! YES! FINALLY! Good God that is A LOT of rbcs, platelets, and hemoglobin hanging out on that bathroom floor!

Hmmm I wonder if Marty will break that wine bottle and use it as a weapon? On another note, that roof is decorated a lot better than ours here at my apartment. From now on, I think I'll insist upon the John McBain view of Llanview when apartment hunting from now on...yes, I will. Snap...the knife! Natty, you're a CSU. You don't want to get stabbed and contaminated with Kelly's blood. Run, ho!

Woof on signing divorce papers. However, now I need Vicki and Clint Buch to get back together before the show ends. Word homies.

hahahaha! Dorian faked a cheap thrill when Echo shoved the money down her jacket. Awesometown!!!

I'm so shocked the writers are redeeming Aubs and proving to us that she loves Joe!!!! I NEVER SAW THIS COMING! Those OLTL writers. They sure know how to fool a girl. Damn!

Joe, just let your daddy quarterback this. He can fix all this shit from the hospital bed while you are playing Legos. And, I kinda know what is gonna happen with all this Clint dying mess but I kinda feel bad for him.

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!! MARTY IS A PSYCHO HOSE BEAST AND I FLOVE IT! I'm so glued to these Marty/Natty scenes. Thumbs up. Too short, though...

SNAP! Vickster overheard the news about Clint. I anticipate these upcoming scenes to be awesome.

WHAT THE HELL?!?! HOLD THE PHONE! Did I miss this earlier?! Joey arrived at Capricorn and his hair is TOTALLY parted to the side!!!! What?! So...Aubs does it therefore Joey does? Also, when did Joey stop and do this salon magic? Hmmm. He looks like a different person. Rama, those Delhi Bellies are probably fattening. Just sayin'...

Lemme guess...Wes escaped. Lord...sure enough. What a damn surprise.

Yes! Yes! A Joe/Dorian scene! WAIT...his hair is TOTALLY different! I'm so distracted by it!

That's right, John. Marty...MARTY just did that to Kelly. You and Dr. Levin...I swear. Y'all both thought Marty was sane. FAIL. However, I will remove the aforementioned "FAIL" since if it wasn't for your poor judgment Marty couldn't throw her crazy sauce all over town and be totally badass/crazy/awesome. Lifetime movie psycho bitches could learn a thing or a thousand from Marty effing Saybrooke.

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!! I know what happens in these Marty/Natty scenes but I FLOVED watching them twirl around on that roof with a sharp object! Natalie's hair was flying everywhere...like a figure skater's would. LOL.

Whew! I'm exhausted! I know I have a few comments to respond to...I know, sorry! I'm headed to bed now and will respond tomorrow if it kills me! Promise you! Keep them coming...love getting those sent to my email everyday.

See you duckies tomorrow!

xxoo,

Mija

The Marty Horror Picture Show

Marty: "Kelly! You are nothing but a sex addict! You were so busy screwing John that you didn't even RSVP to my Memorial Day BBQ. Now I must kill you."

What's the word, y'all?! My apologies for yesterday. I mean...our boss treated us to anything we wanted for hours! I couldn't turn that down! Just a reminder: Minuteman version of yesterday's show. I'm gonna post that first.

Tuesday, May 10th

1. Wait...John McBain of all the sandwiches you could have thought of you said "a cheese sandwich?" REALLY?!

2. Liam is edible...

3. I couldn't care less about Tess and Brody at the Minuteman.

4. Ted King lying horizontally is just too much for me to handle!!!

5. Natalie is looking to Liam like he will provide awesome ass insight to how/why/if John is really the father...LOL! I will say that Liam would give better advice than Joey. WORD.

6. I REALLY NEED for Joey to get with the program and get a brain.

7. I'd still do Blair no questions asked.

8. Marty Saybrooke will no doubt SAVE this episode.

9. Lord...how long are these Natalie/Liam listening to the recorder scenes...sheesh!

10. I want to know if John's slot machine works.

11. Snap!!! Day just made! Marty is trying to diagnose Kelly with sex addiction. Amazeballs!

12. My heart palpatates when I see the Roger Howarth pics! Times--have y'all seen his return photos?! He even has THE scar! Thumbs up.

13. hehe...con man to gain "CONfidence." Flove it. Also floved that Cutter just called Llanview "podunk." Cutter also asked Joey "How gullible can you be?" That is the most open ended question of all time...FACT.

14. F*@K! Can I have some vets up in here?! Dayum!

15. You know...I thought surely that McBain would have worn a seersucker suit to do his detective work today. The weather is warmer and all...you know.

16. YES!!!!! Marty's the best f*@king psycho EVER!!!! All thanks to Susan Haskell! Lord have mercy this bitch is believable!

17. LOL...Ross is like "what is this room? Where is she [Natalie]?" I must say I'm surprised they keep showing the little sunroom.

18. OMG if I were Cutter's ass I'd tell everybody and their damn mom (literally) that Aubs is a sneaky, money-grubbing ho that needs to keep her bangs swept to the side.

19. Hmmm Tea hasn't been on much lately. If I were a Tea fan, I'd be upset.

20. "John and I...we created a baby together!!!!! So if ANYONE is gonna make dinner WITH him...it's me!!!" YES!!!!!! If there was ever to make dinner WITH a man, it's cause you got pregs. Lord have mercy! OMG now Marty is jumping up and down!! This is FABOOSH!!!!

21. Joey, please get a brain. I'd love to remove your binky!!! You need to grow up!

22. On a sidenote: I almost morphed into Marty Saybrooke at work today.

23. I'll be damned! Joey removed his binky and graduated from Pampers to Pull-Ups! He is onto Aubs and her deception! Keep it up!

24. Aw hell...REALLY?! a.) Another alter...dammit. b.) They are gonna name the alter...WES?! What.The.F*@K?! This makes me want to break shit.

25. AHHHHHHH!!!!!! Marty is from a horror movie!!!! These Marty/Kelly scenes are UNREAL!!! Lord...now Natty is there. Today's episode should be good.

OMG I'm scared Marty is gonna jump through the television and kill me! Ok about to watch "The Good Wife" and then watch/post for today's episode. Be back after while darlings!

xx,

Mija

Marty Insisted Upon Margaritas....

"Mary-Ella's exciting ass will be back tomorrow. She does want to post while under the influence. xx, Bethenny"

HELLOOOOO! Well, I had to go to a farewell party for two of my co-workers. We went to a Mexican cantina. I had 4 Skinny Margaritas and then Ross and I just chit-chatted when I got home. Anyway, I haven't seen today's episode. From what I heard, I will love the Kelly/Marty scenes and that is about it. I will respond to comments in the morning. Will do a drive-by of today's episode and a full post of tomorrow's...tomorrow. See y'all then.

xx,

Mary-Ella

P.S.

It'ts probably for the best I didn't post since, unfortunately, I did indeed see the Bo/Nora/Matthew spoiler. I refuse to accept it as true right now!!! Seriously! I'm hoping and praying this is all a bunch of misleading crap. Let's hope. For this blog's sake...let's hope. Woof!

Comatose

Joey: "Aubs, the least we can do is visit Mary-Ella in the hospital. I feel terrible that the show was so bad today she had a stroke."

Look who is posting early! I've had a crazy day so I thought I'd go on and post this while I have time. Awesome. Even more awesome: the show was ATROSH today!!!!!!!! Good Lord! Lemme go on and blab about this crap while I can...

OMG Ryder is presh! Wait...hold the phone. Is she dreaming? She has to be. Snap. Of course...she is gonna like Ford.

Lord. Not that I give a flying f*@k, but Starr and James get no privacy.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!! Please no Minuteman sex...PLEASE!

Dammit! Aubrey is gonna fall in love with baby (hell, she already loves Joey now). I'm sorry but I need her gone before the show ends. Too many other important peeps that need to make an appearance. WAYYYYYY too many more important peeps. While I'm on this tangent, I need all the Fords, Aubs, Dayt-en, and Rama and Vimal gone. Yes, I like Rama but let's be serious. I don't want her ass on the last episode. Word. They need to take the midnight train FROM Llanview and go elsewhere.

Thank God...Kelly and John. Please make this show watchable today!!! These scenes are shot so out of order. One scene Kelly has her hair dark...then blonde...now the past couple of times dark. Making my head spin! Nevermind, I'm gonna have to count on Marty's ass to make it watchable. YUCK! That purse is totally hideous! Ditch it in some alley, please.

Aw hell, Natalie is gonna stare at that damn tape for the whole episode if not multiple episodes. Woof. OF COURSE...Brody has to walk in.

Who doesn't care about these Ford/James/Starr scenes? This bitch. If this were a Thursday, I'd probably be more generous. But, it's Monday...today was hectic...I had to pay Chase $2.00 for one temporary check (atrosh) and then I had to write the check for a security deposit on an apartment. I'm nauseous and not in the mood for this BULLSHIT from this trio today. No thank you. Moving along...

I'd like to THANK, yes, THANK Cutter for not wanting to have sex with Tess.

I must say...Aubrey has her hands full. She went from hot, single, and ready to mingle to a mother of two. I can't imagine where she finds clothes big enough to fit Joey! Can you imagine this summer trying to find him a little bathing suit with the floaties stuffed in it?!

Snap! Possible desk sex?! Kelly, Bo doesn't care since he and Nora used to have sex on her desk all the damn time. Hush it. I'm sorry but I like these two.

Lord...so Marty was talking to Cole on the phone I'm assuming. I heard he might come back to the show for a stint.

Aaaand, the Restasis doctor is on. Ross' favorite. Too bad he isn't here to watch with me. I bet this bitch is crazy in real life. She is too calm on this commercial. She and Marty probably bunked together at St. Anne's.

I think Brody and Natalie are adorbs. Again, like John and Kelly, I'm sorry because I know I am offending people with that..

JOEY!!!! You should have learned about her childhood BEFORE you married her, dipshit!

These Tess/Cutter scenes are boring the hell out of me!

This post is horrible and I'm sorry!!!! I'm not even halfway finished! Y'all I have ZERO material to work with today! At least let Marty go cray cray or something!? Desk sex from Kelly and John?! Something!

Not discussing the kids from Ohio...sorry. No, I can't lie. I'm not the least bit sorry I'm not discussing them. Sorry I'm jipping y'all, though. That is true! I just can't do these clowns today!

If this show weren't ending I'd maybe care about this Aubrey thing (or be somewhat interested), but this whole thing makes me nuts! I just want them to hurry this story up and focus on the REAL people that ARE OLTL. Woof.

Marty's crazy sauce STAINED my hardwood floor. If it's entertaining then she can do it again today. Dammit...what a waste! Marty is on today and she is being mute. I do like her creepy eavsdropping.

On a vain note: I will say that Aubs, Joey, and Ryder are aesthetically appealing. They could look like a cute family if I cared.

This conversation at the Minuteman is making me yawn!

No sex!!! It's not that they aren't attractive, but I just can't handle the Minuteman. On another note, it's gross that they left the Hounds Beer out all damn night. Isn't there a fridge/minibar? The beer will be nasty now...ugh.

Starr's shirt is cute. Lord have mercy stop it with the Hope references! You are never with that child, Starr! Addie is her mother. Game over.

Lord...we haven't even seen the beginning of Marty's secret sauce. She will go crazy on Kelly for sure...

Lord have mercy. Now Brody and Natty. Does EVERYONE in this town hook up with others to get over other people? Yes?

I.Am.Bored.To.Tears.This.Episode.

I need Marty to talk! DAMMIT!!!!! Something! Give me something today, OLTL! Because this show is halfway finished and the show sucks! Well, Kelly called Marty a bitch. That's something...not enough though.

YAY! "You think I'm a bitch now...wait 'til you see me later." Flove it and flove you, Marty.

That Natty/Brody hook-up was all of 2 seconds...woof.

I'm beyond bored. Where is Nigel?! Can't he make an appearance at the mansion? For the love of God! Renee?! Someone come in and save this episode!!!!

Don't even get me started on the Bo and Nora absence since April 15th! Their little stint last Wednesday was not enough...dammit to hell. My blood pressure is rising.

Go have sex with James, Starr. There is time and y'all are alone...plus, you got time. Go get you some. WHAT?! An Addie Cramer reference?! STFU? Plus, OF COURSE she is watching Hope. OF COURSE.

Don't say "hell" in front of the baby, Aubs! I don't like Ford, but David Gregory does look adorbs holding Ryder. Gets me every damn time. I just want to eat that child!!!! Scrumptious! Adorable! Edible! My God how cute!?

That purse of Marty's is just a f*@king eyesore. God bless.

Natty and Brody. Either make-out and keep it going or just end it.

By far the best part of the show: Marty f*@king skipped out of John's office like she was on her way to recess. SCORE! This bitch is looney tunes!

I think Liam would know how to play that tape faster that Natty.

Starr and James can do it. Good for them.

God...Brody is back at the Minuteman which sucks because that means we will have to see a scene AT the Minuteman tomorrow. Mother effing woof!

Take it back about James and Starr. Ford is their birth control, I swear.

Surely, Cutter will say he is joking about him wanting the Buchanan fortue? I dunno. I don't care really.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Why couldn't we have had Marty and Kelly all damn week?! I will flove these scenes tomorrow! Thank God.

Look at John McBain reflecting on the day Natty gave the ring back.

Aaaaand, who else is tired of Natty stopping that tape? I mean...any girl in her right mind would listen to that shit from start to finish right there.

God Bless I'm glad this episode is over!!!!

I'm sorry y'all are subjected to this atrosh rant I just did...yikes!

Here is hoping tomorrow is better!

xx,

Mija