You Son of a Bitch!!!

Finally! Clint is starting to shake in those Texas boots of his.

As you all can probably guess, the Nora/Clint confrontation pretty much made my day...or week. FINALLY, someone hit Clint where it hurts. I truly think this is all starting to unravel as of yesterday. And, thank you Jesus...Praise the Lord! Nora finally said she is tired of apologizing to Clint. This needed to happen becauase if I had to hear her tell Bo one more time "but we did hurt him" then I was going to have to jump through the tv and shake her (and she is my favorite character...so obviously I'm tired of it). I love fiery confident Nora and I love how the tables are turning on sinister Clint. How did he not think of how is family would react?! He's starting to wobble and soon the eldest Buch is going to topple! The line of the day also goes to our beloved D.A. when she told Clint: "Well, from now on, Bo and I will be protecting the family. We'll be doing that. We'll protect Asa's family...from you!" Somewhere, that philly and Bo are making Asa proud since God knows Asa is rolling over in his grave thanks to Clint's recent nefarious acts!!! I can't get enough of these intense scenes with the vets...keep them coming!

OMG, really? Could Whinez have been ANY MORE OBVIOUS that she was wearing a wire!?!? She basically said "testing 1,2,3" into the damn thing. So dumb. I loved that Clint talked to Bo into the wire! Clint just continues to be a badass...yes!

I can tell Bo really is upset by his brother. Like he told Nora, "I've loved that man my whole life." That's ashame. He really has and sadly, I just don't see how that relationship can be rebuilt.

Thank you Bo. You continue to say more words I need to hear. "Inez I don't want to hear it. I'm just glad I got my wife back. Stay clear of Clint--and me." Bless you, Bo, bless you. I was so damn scared you were going to be like "it's ok, no biggie about the drugs." Man, the way Bo said all that was like in a way your parents or teacher would talk to you when they are disappointed in you when you cheated on a test or something...ya know? I'd rather him be yelling at me and calling me an effing bitch/whore than giving me that "I'm disappointed in you" look. Damn. What an effect!

Damn, Tea is in that "Pirates of the Carribean" shirt still...le' sigh. Tragic. Oh snap, and Dan-yella is still covered in prune juice. There is no justice in this world, obviously. I LOL'd when Nora clapped her hands and told Tea "you won...yay!"

Oh, and I know people are going to take offense to this but I have to say what I think on here: I couldn't give two shits that Nate is out of jail. Additionally, I am convinced that the writers of OLTL have decided to make it their personal mission for me to gouge my eyes out from misery because they continue to put these lame ass Buenos Dias scenes on my screen. I don't care about the damn party, I don't. This is stupid. The ONLY good thing about the party was Tea and Shaun talking. He was there for her during the worst moment in her life and he practically is her family. Glad they acknowledged that. Otherwise, these scenes are painful. I can't take this Starr and James thing. Sidenote: I wonder what they are going to do if Kristen Alderson leaves the show. I'd be fine with it...sadly. Starr has become such an awful character the past couple of years. Tragic cause she used to be fierce. Anyway, the rumor mill is saying she doesn't want to renew her contract with OLTL. Also, another rumor is circulating that maybe ALL of the Fords will get the axe except Robert. Obviously, this won't happen because that would make me happy. But...that's the word on the street as of this week. In other casting news...

If they recast Matthew cause they plan to SORAS him then I'll be torn! Granted he is by far the most interesting teen on the show right now and has become quite the actor. However, OLTL may SORAS him after graduation and replace him with a more hunky, macho Buchanan type of boy which I see why they would want to do that. BUT...Eddie Alderson IS Matthew. I mean, he was just the best little kid and it would feel weird without him. Anyway, I'll type more on this once I hear it. Just throwing that out there. Ok, I don't know how I feel about Matthew and Destiny kissing. See, awhile ago when the show was kind of hinting there may be something romantic with them I was kind of into it. Now, I don't know. I need to see the aftermath of this kiss. I just don't know about it right now. Let me mull it over...

Christian and Layla scenes...what an awful send-off for Tika Sumpter. Granted, girl can cry! Those were some crocodile tears if I have ever seen any!!! But the break-up was just so rushed. They were together for awhile and I just don't like the way it ended. You can tell how much the writers are invested in Christian...ZERO. The writing for him is awful.

Tomas and Blair...DEF have chemistry. I can't believe my damn eyes...Roger Howarth in the wedding pic! Ok, so SURELY he is coming back right?! If not, then this is the WORST tease this show has EVER done. He would be GREAT on the show. However, I think they need to keep the present Todd and bring back Roger as another character. Again, there wasn't too much said...just that the pic is from Blair and Todd's wedding from 1995 (the one that will air as a rerun in February). I am very intrigued to see how and why Tomas got the picture...mmmm.

About to watch today's show. Another post later on...

Cheers kiddos!

Bonjour Monsieur Ted King!!!

Sure it was for all of 2.5 seconds, but just seeing Ted King's handsome face answer the door left me with a smile.

How delicious is Ted King?! I have no doubt that he and Kassie Depaiva will most certainly have chemistry. I'm ready for this all to take off. Hell, knowing Blair she and Tomas will be throwing each other up against the walls and having wild animal sex before the week is over. And, I'm okay with this. ;) So since not much transpired between these two today I'll discuss more on Monday.

REALLY show?! REALLY? Christian: "Monsier, can we get your best bottle of champagne?" REALLY? Anyone who has been to a nice, like really nice, restaurant knows that champagne can costs thousands of dollars A BOTTLE. And he didn't just ask for a nice champagne, he asked for THE best. This is dumb as shit and lazy writing. Sure, if Clint, Bo, Vicki, or Dorian (hell, even Blair or Kelly or Todd) said this then its believable but Christian? Like Christian can afford that since HELLO Blair tells Layla "yeah I offered to pay all of Christian's expenses." Just DUMB. He cannot afford it...especially in Paris of all places. Whew...enough. Eh...I don't like this Layla and Christian break-up thing that is about to happen. It's gonna be sloppy now that Tika Sumpter has left the show. So, of course, OLTL is gonna make her out to be some cheater and then she will look like the bad guy...end of story. I don't like it but it's not like I can complain. She is off the show so oh well. Still sucks.

Sweet Angels of Heaven! Bo and Nora being adorable drinking OJ and canoodlling and sitting around actually having a conversation...how great is this?! I wanted a little more lovin' but I'll take what I can get. I'm shocked as hell the writers even allowed this awesomeness on our screens today. I LOVE her robe! I'd rather watch them sit around and discuss the life cycle of perennials or any plant than watch the God forsaken mess that was James and Todd, etc. Eh...I'll discuss later. Well, hats off to Bo...and Nora, I guess. That was probably the WORST way to explain to Matthew what the hell is going on...LOL! That was terrible! Now this poor kid is even more confused and who can blame him at this point...this shit is bananas! Think about all that has happened? I mean, he wakes up and his parents are making out and they are like "hey it's all a misunderstanding and by the way don't talk to Clint or report to work." WHAT?! I understand, I think: Bo and Nora have ZERO evidence to implicate Clint. They are scared Matthew won't believe them and he idolizes Clint, yada yada yada. However, I do believe they could have joined forces as a family. Bo should have come clean. Oh, and Bo looks yummy in pj's. I'm so glad I can like him again. It pained me to despise him for a few weeks. ;)

Is Vicki grace and elegance personified or what?! I feel the need to curtsy when she walks in...so regal! Again, I want her and Clint to hook up. Oh, and Clint always kicks Vicki out of his office so hurridly. He always stands up so quickly and is like "well, lemme know what I can do" and he shows her to the door. What a rude little weasal.

OMG...the writers remembered twice within a month and a half that Nora and Vicki are friends. I damn near fell out when I saw Vicki just hanging out with her friend, Nora. So, all the Buchanans drink their coffee out of French press coffeemakers??? Nora and Bo have one and Clint has one at BE (go look at those scenes if you missed it). Very interesting. This means they use whole coffee beans and not coffee grounds...impressive peeps, impressive. LOL...of course, you and Bo got no sleep. I'd be doing it too! It's been since before you were kidnapped...Good Lord that's awhile! Good for y'all!

Ok, so the spoilers were incredibly misleading when it comes to Matthew confronting Clint. The spoilers indicated that Matthew would basically go off on Clint to defend his parents...but, oh hell no. Of course, he is gonna follow dear old Uncle Clint's advice and then go home and lie to Bo and Nora about the job. Again, all this could have been avoided if B/N would have just told him. I hate that Matthew is letting this man take advantage of him. Tell your parents he is Rex's father!!! My God!

Man, how rude was Matthew to Nora when he got home?! Lord have mercy! He is so disrespectful with them! I don't care if he is mad or what. I would have been put in my place a long ass time ago if I were him. I mean, the kid just skipped school!!! WTF? He has adored his mother for forever and now he is treating her (and Bo) like this...no just no.

hahahaha....so who in the hell is bringing Inez a change of clothes?! Ford or James?? Really? I mean her other son is locked up with her. Oh, and she resembled my little dog more this episode with the color scheme of her clothes...brown. I'm glad Bo was kind of dismissive with Inez. He needs her to help him and he should most definitely use her. I think when she saw Bo she thought he was coming to the rescue...not so much though. Of course, putting a wire on Inez while talking to Clint is not gonna work as planned on Monday. So, I am VERY curious to see how this all plays out. Haven't read too many spoilers on it.

Todd cracked me up as usual at the diner. Those Marty comments were HIGH-LARIOUS. Besides that though, the diner scenes sucked ass. I'm so tired of Starr saying Cole is in jail. WE EFFING KNOW!!!!!! AH! Stop this misery! I can't discuss that further. The Todd/James scenes were PAINFUL. I felt they were so filler. UGH.

Oh, and the most hilarious comment of the day was from sweet new girl, Michelle: "I don't have my degree or anything but I'm auditing this law class and they had a discussion on illegal search and seizure so maybe you could tell your mom's lawyer about it to help her out." REALLY?! REALLY?! So, you mean to tell me that Inez's criminal defense attorney just happened to skip criminal procedure in law school (a required course) and didn't learn about illegal search and seizure but decided to practice CRIMINAL law. Give me a break show...give me an effin' break. When Tea starts taking legal advice from Michelle, then obviously Armageddon is approaching.

Speaking of Tea, what in the HELL was she wearing?!?! That shirt was an eye sore! My mind kept switching from it looking like something from colonial times or something from Pirates of the Carribean! HIDEOUS! Obviously, Tea decided to dress Dan-yella for the day cause her outfit resembled smashed ass, too. It looked like she had been soaking in prune juice for days. Seriously, the shirt, scarf and stockings were all plum/purple. Heinous. These are two pretty people...what an insult wardrobe department!

While I'm going off on WTF moments/looks, I might as well go on and touch on what the new ADA said: "Mrs. Buchanan has decided to recuse herself due to personal reasons." LOL! REALLY?! NOW??? Where was this a couple of weeks ago? So you go through the arraignment and sentencing THEN recuse yourself? This is hilarious.

All in all, I thought it was a great show despite the atrocious Buenos Dias scenes. Ready for the Inez/Clint discussion Monday and to see how it all plays out.

Hope you all have a GREAT weekend! See you Monday!

ME

I Don't Know Who This Belongs to Now But It Sure As Hell Ain't You...And It Never Will Be.

OMG...Today reminded me why I even watched soaps in the first place. Today's episode was fantastic!

This whole Bo/Nora/Clint drama is my favorite part of the show and reminded me why I love the Buchanans and why I watched this show to begin with. JVD and RSW were freakin' epic in the barn scenes today...words aren't even enough. And, I don't know who is doing all the writing for these scenes but they are doin' one helluva job! Hello...this time last year was an effing NIGHTMARE so some shuffling must have gone on in the writing department! NICE use of history when Bo talked about how he and Matthew were out in the barn and talking about Pa's hat on the day Asa was buried. Actually, when Clint was telling Echo about the hat, etc. in Tuesday's episode my mind actually went to the Matthew/Bo scene from Asa's funeral. Sidenote: for newbies, I suggest you go on youtube and look at the Asa's death and funeral videos...good stuff. Oh, did anyone notice that Bo's arm was up for an effing LONG ASS TIME pointing that gun! Surely he was sore. Seriously...I held my arm out and stiff like that to test it out and its tough. Very impressive Bo. Anyway, I don't have anything witty to write about these scenes because they were just THAT awesome. And, it's about time Bo defend Nora instead of coming to Whinez's rescue. Oh, and snap, I think Clint has NO IDEA how far things got between Eddie and Nora...at least, I think. He truly looked shocked when Bo revealed that Eddie practically terrorized her. Again, this is why I watch soap operas....people like Bo and Nora who truly love each other are going to stand together united and fight the big and bad ass evil Clint. I'm sure nothing made Clint's stomach turn more than seeing Bo grab Nora's hand and kiss her and walk off...WITH PA'S HAT IN TOW...YES! I think the best part was that he took the effing hat. Oh wait, lemme go off for a sec. I wholeheartedly disagree with Clint when he said "Asa was just doing what Pa would do." This shows that Clint has lost it. Asa had a heart deep down...just like Bo said. And, Asa loved Nora and would have never done that to her. In agreement with Bo, that is when Clint stopped being a Buchanan. BUT...I love evil and sinister Clint so I hope it keeps up...hehe. Clint's world comes crashing down at Nat and Jess's double wedding...going to be epic! And the paternity shit will hit the fan.

Speaking of paternity switches...HELLO RAMA! I absolutely love this woman and I only saw her for about 5 minutes. She is as lovely as chicken curry and I'm ready for her to have some more screen time. Obviously, she wears the pants in the relationship with Vimal and tells him when to pee...and I like this. I'm ready for her to unleash Vimal's paternity goofs. Ok, so let's discard ALL of my thoughts about the paternity shiz from the other day. We can now conclude that we don't know whose results got switched...right? So, it's anybody's guess. I'm gonna say that Ford is the baby daddy of Jessica's baby...yes? Well, I'm saying that on Thursday January, 20, 2011, but who knows...it could change. This will all come out in February sweeps. At the wedding no doubt...

Spoiler (don't read if spoiler free): Guess who gets out of the looney bin on the day of Natty's wedding?!?! Marty "don't be tardy for the party" Saybrooke gets released! AH!!! I actually hope she makes Natalie miserable because as of now I'm done with Natalie...D-O-N-E, DONE! She has dug herself in too deep of a web of lies for me at this point...so to hell with her. Of course, this makes me feel more sympathetic for John (the world has now officially gone crazy). Dammit...when he walked into Natalie's room with that baby and smiled I just couldn't help but smile along with him...sonofabitch, McBain...I like you. Oh, and awkward much? You took Bo's side over your future father-in-law...loves it. That was great! John: "Do you want me to take him into custody?" Clint: "REALLY John?? He attacked ME." Effin great.

I've never seen more awkward stares in all my life between Brody/Rex/Gigi. Lord knows, if anybody knows about hiding the true paternity of a child it's Rex and Gigi. Well for about the 3rd time in a row Gigi hasn't annoyed me. I think this is because I rarely see her anymore and when I do she is in scenes with someone likable, like Rex. I would go out on a limb and say I don't mind her but I can't go that far because I know that she and Rex have a big story with Shane coming up. That means she will be continuously shoved down my throat and I'll loathe her again...just like this time last year. OH, and wait just a damn minute. Does it seem that the same people get a big storyline at the same time the following year??? Ok, so last February Gigi was in the HUGE Llantano Mountain/Stacey Morasco/Missing Boots/Schuyler Joplin storyline and we saw her everyday...now she is getting another big one a year later at the SAME TIME. Another example, in 2009 around November and December is when Bo and Nora started making out and confessing their love, etc. They were on practically every single day. Jump to 2010 and this is when all the Inez stuff came to a head and then the kidnapping etc. Again, practically onscreen every single day. It's like OLTL has a calendar and they are like "time to give this person a story since it's their time of year." Anyway...sorry about that...but it is interesting.

Dare I say it...I kinda want Kelly and Ford to hook-up!!?? What in the HELL is wrong with me?? OMG. I can't believe I'm saying this. I wouldn't mind seeing them team up...I think. Oh, and I can't bring up Ford and not mention the OLTL news of today: Brittany Underwood got the boot. So, yes, I'm pretty effing thrilled that there will be no more Langston come late spring. However, I've always been taught not to build your happiness on someone else's sorrow. It's no secret I loathed her character but, it does suck because I don't wish unemployment on anyone. I'll miss bad mouthing her for sure. Her terribleness gave me stuff to talk about. I will say that if they are going to send her off they at least need to give her a GOOD send off in true soap fashion. Not some shitty exit like Kimberly Andrews had this time last year...Hello?! PLEASE effing recast Kim! For crying out loud OLTL! Please! Clint needs her! Now more than ever. So, I'm sure the Fords are here to stay...le' sigh. If I must be forced to watch them, then pair Ford with someone good or make him the daddy of Jessica's baby (which is what I secretly want...I know, that's wrong on soooo many levels but it would make for good story. so bring on Pappa Bobby!).

Cutter and Aubrey...ugh again. Oh, and I am SO EFFING SURE he described Kelly as TAN!?!? REALLY??? Aubs was right when he pretty much descrbed Snookie. Kelly is as fair complected as they come...what a dumbass. Like I said yesterday, I may just wait to comment on them more once I know more about them. Again, we know nothing...just that they are in cahoots...that's it. And they like to screw, A LOT. End of story for today. Oh, and Joey still has an IQ of 2.

I don't know about y'all but I am ready for some gel-haired Matthew to attack some good ole Uncle Clint tomorrow...bring it.

Night darlings,

ME

Arrest Her, Bo...

Confused by my picture? I'll explain in a bit...

Sorry I didn't update yesterday. It was my birthday so the day got hectic. And since I'm not doing a recap for the rerun episode today, I thought I'd just make my post today...word.

SQUEEEEEEE!!!!! Ok, I'm not going to go on for paragraphs on end about how happy I am but I have to say: I'm pretty mother effing happy after yesterday's episode. What a birthday present! Bo and Nora back together as a team and working things through. Stronger than ever...I love it. I feel like it's 1996 or something. This is GREAT! Yesterday was a prime example of how fabulous they really are and why their relationship, in my opinion, is the most believable on television...period. They just have to look at each other knowingly and I'm sold. Their awesomeness knows no bounds! Ok...enough about me being overjoyed. Let's talk about some good things that came out and that mousy mess, Inez...

Kudos to OLTL (surprisingly) for addressing some much needed questions:
1.) Inez explaining that she and Bo did kiss but he thought it was Nora, etc. This needed to be said because otherwise, Matthew wouldn't believe Bo when the truth comes out this week because Matthew would be like "you're a liar I saw you two kissing." So...check that off.
2.) Inez telling Bo and Nora about Clint and how Nora "wouldn't be a problem." It sucks kids but face the reality...Clint's a mean bastard.
3.) How Bo realized he was the one who told Clint about Sam....not Inez. Another way to link this to Clint. Sidenote: you can tell Nora is trying to do everything she can to not believe Clint is behind this. She is blaming Inez every chance she gets. Hell, I don't blame her. She was married to him and has loved him as a brother-in-law for forever.
4.) Thank you Jesus...the question that has bothered me the most: Why in the hell Inez didn't just come to Bo and Nora in the first place about ALL of this shit. Now we know...she sort of in her own little manipulative way wanted Bo and Nora to split. Boo on her. But I'm glad this is answered because this bothered me the most. Oh, and I love pissed off Bo. His jaws were clenched for the last 30 minutes of the show...thumbs up!

Oh, and my picture. Who does that look like to y'all? Well, the picture is of my precious little dog, Lola. However, if you placed her in the courtroom on yesterday's OLTL then we would call her Inez. HELLO?! Inez looked just like my damn dog yesterday. I'm pretty sure Jessica Leccia magically saw this picture of my dog and said "when I do my scenes with RSW and HBS in the courtroom, I'm gonna look EXACTLY like Mary-Ella's weenie dog, Lola, since it's a pitiful look." SUCCESS, Jessica Leccia! You WERE my dog! I mean she just has this glazed over helpless look...throughout the ENTIRE episode!!!! If I were her, I would have been scared as hell (Hello...the looks Nora were giving her could kill a sumo wrestler and then even benevolent Bo was even pissed) but no...she decided to look like my dog which is just one word: pitiful. Lola is a bit cuter though, right? ;)

I don't know about y'all but I am super beyond pumped about Bo kicking Clint's ass on Thursday. Ummmm foreshadowing much when Clint was telling Echo how he and Bo used to fight over Pa's hat and Clint would usually win cause he was bigger and knew how to fight dirtier. Yeah, well I've seen the promo for Thursday and Bo kicks him to the ground...awesome. I'm still intrigued as to how all of this is going to pan out. Sure, Bo and Nora know the truth but how in the hell are they going to prove it?? This should be interesting. I mean, even if Bo and Nora told people the truth it would be hard for most people in Llanview to believe the litany of sins committed by Clint. Oh, and you know who is gonna be key in all this shiz with Eddie taking Nora?!?! Why, the sharpest knife in the drawer himself, Joey Buchanan! Remember, he saw Clint and Eddie together at the mansion. Therefore, he is pretty much the one who can connect Eddie to Clint. Should be entertaining.

Oh, and Echo and Clint...quite the discussion. Damn you Kim Zimmer! You kinda made me feel sorry for Echo yesterday and I don't want to since you have done everything wrong since you dropped into town but most importantly you are hurting my Vicki! AH! But...she made EXCELLENT points yesterday and made a huge effort to get Clint to do some self reflection. Did it work? Yes, I think Clint knows he has done no-good, terrible, horrible things but he is justifying it with the Asa card. Ay ya ya...I loved Asa but he would have NEVER done some of the things Clint has done. Oh, and I'm glad Echo finally came out about her feelings for Charlie. Which, go ahead girlfriend...take him. Vicki B deserves better! Oh snap! How about Clint looking in the mirror and then Bo showing up...awesome town!

Of freakin' course! Just what I said the other day: Aubrey is developing real feelings for Joey. Sonofabitch. This is not the route I want them to go down with this. I don't want to discuss this in depth too darn much right now but I am just saying: I flippin' knew it. Joey: "I really don't know much about you." REALLY?! Dammit to hell! How can I even acknowledge this statement!?!? I just want to pull all my hair out and then set it on fire! His stupidity is just beyond words! Sure, he showed genuine affection for wanting babies and his talk of how cute the newborns were was somewhat touching, but I don't like stupidity...mine or anyone else's for that matter. Whew! I know, I know I am beating this horse to death....can't help it.

Well, obviously the good Lord wanted to grant me mercy yesterday...he placed Dorian in the scenes with Ford and Lang which didn't give Lang much dialogue. I was spared...amen! Ok, so Ford was totally standing with his legs WIDE OPEN in Dorian's living room. He was beyond second position in ballet but his legs were just spread apart so much. It looked like he was peeing or something...but like a girl would outside. SO WEIRD! I love snoopy, on-the-prowl Dorian and I'm so glad she finally put together that mess with Aubs. Oh and a couple of columns ago I started calling Aubrey "Aubs" and ever since I feel Joey calls her that...or has he always? Oh, and I FLOVE how Dorian calls Joey "Joe." That's great...she owns him in a way.

Anyway, I am just feeling the need to be Kelly's cheerleader with this whole Aubs/Joey mess. Why am I feeling this need? I dunno. I think it's solely because she is a core character of the show, present and from long ago, and I just want her to have people rooting for her. She hasn't been given awesome material so I hope this is a good story for her. Eh, Cutter. I don't dislike him, nor do I like him. I'm just indifferent. This is probably worse. I mean, I can talk about my disgust for Langston or Gigi for days but at least they give me something to talk about. I just don't know what to do with Cutter right now. Oh, lemme go off about something for a second: I hate the fact that Cutter and our beloved Aubs have hogged our screens the past few weeks and we know NOTHING about them as characters. Sure, they like to screw a lot...each other and other people. But, what else do we know??? They are after the Buchanan fortune? I don't mind them being on, but I just want to know more about them. Nothing has developed. This is not how you introduce new people to a show. So, hurry up OLTL...

Anyway...cannot wait for Thursday! We are gonna have Nora and John "proud father of McBundle" McBain pulling Bo off of Clint.

Hope people enjoyed the repeat episode. Not my favorite but there were some good characters on there...le' sigh, Evangeline. I miss her. =(

Cheers kids,
ME

Mommy's Here...

Applause! Applause! Kudos to Susan Haskell for making me truly believe she has lost her mind just like a deranged woman out for revenge on the Lifetime Movie Network. Too bad her recent performances can't go on this year's Emmy reel. =( She has thoroughly entertained me for weeks and now I'm sad she is getting towed away to everyone's favorite crazy house, St. Anne's. This means we probably aren't going to see much of her. Man, if the writers were really on their game then she and Hannah O'Connor would be roommates...Oh.Hell.Yes. How delicious would those two be together? Hate each other at first and plot to kill each other then ultimately befriend one another and then successfully escape and wreck havoc on Llanview. Wishful thinking. Le' sigh.

On that note, I do think John truly does love Natalie, etc. However, I've said it for awhile now and even today you can tell he truly does care for Marty. Yes, he was nervous that Marty was about to kidnap the McBundle of Joy but he knew Marty would never hurt the little one. I think he will feel some sort of guilt down the road for making Marty lose her marbles. And, Natalie...oh Natalie. See, I used to FLOVE her but I just cannot accept all of her lies and deception. Sure, Nattie can scheme with the best of them when need be but it is just out of character for her to just lie for months on end like she has. Especially since she had no effing reason to lie in the first place with all this shiz. Yes, I know I keep talking about this but the show is killing Natalie's character...ugh! And, I am just not buying Natalie as a new mom. Hopefully she will show more motherly traits but as of right now I'm just not seeing it. Maybe because I am still thinking of her driving the get away car last February up on Llantano Mountain and yelling "Eat my dust bitches!" I just think of that and then can't imagine her being all maternal a year later. This isn't objective, just my own stupid thoughts...

Ok, granted OLTL completely botched the much anticipated return of Gina Tognoni's Kelly Cramer. However, over the past few weeks her story seems to be getting on track. Actually, in my eyes it's official and this happened when in response to Rex asking if she thought Cutter was REALLY Aubrey's brother she said "Hell no. I think Aubrey's a lying little bitch." I'm sold. I believe her and I want the bad ass and awesome Kelly Cramer from days of old to be back in full effect. Now, I think we are getting somewhere. Also, I like Kelly and Rex together. Romantically?? Eh, I'm not sure, but I do indeed like them working together. Oh, and I'm not feeling Cutter. Thank you God he is not on contract. I just don't think he is that great of an actor, I don't. I'm sure the show will test his chemistry with Kelly (Hello, they have with every other man with a penis on the show and she has had zero spark with anyone...except Rex kind of). Anyway, I hope he doesn't stay long. He is a means to an end in my opinion.

And...Aubrey. I seriously loathe this tramp. HELLO?! She kissed Cutter in the middle of the gym then kissed Joey immediately after...all in the first segment! I know what the show is going to do with her and I'm not gonna like it. Aubrey will start to develop serious feelings for her mark, Joey, and then she will want to be with him, etc. and out Cutter and then she and Joey will find their way back to each other and she will then become an all around good person and then I'm sure she will eventually win the Llanview Woman of the Year Award. Wait! Why don't they do that awesome ass ceremony anymore?!?! My God, the BEST drama unfolds at that awards banquet. Hello?! Nora and the baby drama, Rae Cummings not being a doctor, Lindsay Rappaport getting arrested...the list goes on. Bring it back OLTL...BRING IT BACK! Anyway, I then proceeded to despise Aubs even more when she pretended that Kelly hurt her. Oh, and Joey continues to be an imbecile...worse by the day. Sadly, he only gets redeemed in my eyes for the brief moments he is wearing next to nothing...and not speaking a word. Then when he talks, I feel my dislike for him begin to grow again. So, basically I need him to wear next to nothing and just smile and I enjoy him. You know, maybe there is a trend going on in Llanview. I mean, Bo just go his brain back about 24 minutes into last Thursday's episode (and God knows his brain has been MIA since the beginning of November), so maybe we will ALL get lucky and Joey will regain some intelligence soon. Then, I will like him when he wears clothes and speaks sentences. I'd like to say Charlie will be in this category as well, but I'm afraid that may not happen. Fingers crossed.

Ok, of course Nate NOR Inez killed Eddie. It's just not possible. I'm gonna stick with what I said weeks ago: I personally think Clint knows who did it. I don't think he did it. I think Matthew did. I gave my theory in my December 17, 2010 column, on that but I may go on and just stick with it but I could be wrong. I'll elaborate in a later column about the killer. But, I'll say that without a doubt, 110%, etc. that Nora is key due to that missing chunk of time. But she didn't do it since that is a repeat of the demise of the ever so handsome and creepy yet sexy Colin McIver (my God I long for the days of Ty Treadway...he was the best eye candy...OMG.) OH...and, Hello? Nora mentioned TWICE today that she had nothing to do with the killing of Eddie. Foreshadowing much? The killer will be revealed during February sweeps I'm sure. Ugh...does anyone want to sock Nate?! Sonofabitch, I can't stand him. Again, I think because he looks more like my age instead of 10 years younger...the age he is portraying. He gets set free next week...all rejoice! All rejoice! (This is when I wish I had a video blog because the sarcasm is on my face when I say "rejoice." Maybe I can start making videos...it's a thought.)

Sweet Lord! Of course Inez, it took you the whole effing episode to spit out the truth! I'm just so glad this ball got rolling. Bo, looked like, I dunno, 10 years younger after Inez broke the truth and I also enjoyed the smile and look of relief across Nora's face. Sidenote: I love that Hillary Smith remains to have that bronze "I just came back from the beach look" all year round. Lovely lovely. It really looks great on her. Now...bring on the unraveling of Dark Clint!!!!

DAMN! You mean to tell me that tomorrow is my birthday (yes, for real) and Langston has to be on?! REALLY? REALLY SHOW?! Looks like I'm gonna have to pour my glass of wine earlier than anticipated...just boo on you Langston for ruining my birthday. However, amazeballs! Inez gets arrested and Echo is back tomorrow...woo hoo!!!!

xoxo,
ME

Where's The Little McBundle???

First and foremost, let's all give a big WELCOME BACK to Roxanne Bolsom. I've missed you and your hilarious quotes and so has everyone else. Hopefully, we will see you more than once every blue moon. Now, only if we can get Renee and Nigel back. Damn, I mean Renee has been mentioned twice in two weeks! I need to see my favorite former madame, Renee Divine...please OLTL, I'm begging. Oh, before I give Friday's commentary...

UTTERLY DELICIOUS NEWS
Spoilers, peeps. FYI.
Drum roll please......Alex effing Olanov is coming back to Llanview!!! AH!!! I'm dancing in my living room now and popping champagne! My favorite of Asa's wives. Hello?! The Egyptian themed Cleopatra wedding...so over the top and obnoxious. I hope she is brought on for more than a day. Anticipation is killing me. Ah.

How YOU doin?! That's right...now Wendy Williams is coming to Llanview. She is gonna be a talk show host that does a show called "Access Llanview." The show will feature the recent shenanigans of Llanview's most powerful family the Buchs. She mentioned it on her show the other day. I know a lot of people are livid since they think it's stupid she is coming on, but it's good for the show and people who watch her show (and there are a LOT of people who watch it) will tune in to see her and I hope that makes some other people start watching the show. Anything to help OLTL in the long run...I'm all about it.

Oh, and the much anticipated and discussed re-run episode coming up in February: Blair and Todd's November 14, 1995, wedding. So, is Roger Howarth coming back to Llanview?? Sources say he is but I just don't know how they would portray him. Granted he is my favorite Todd Manning but he would have to come back in some other form. All re-run episodes relate to an upcoming story, so he must be coming back. By the way, can I say how great this episode is?! It features all GREAT characters: Marty, Patrick, Bo, Nora, Susannah (how I miss Nora's smart sister...and her relationship with Larry Wolek), Alex, Asa, Clint, Tina, Cord, Nigel, Maggie, Andrew, Cassie, Kelly, Joey, Dorian, Addie, Viki, CJ, Sarah, Blair, and Todd are all in the episode. Alex is running for mayor in this episode and Blair and Todd's wedding is over the top with gold balloons and all. Gonna be great. When OLTL WAS THE SHIZ!

Ok, y'all have had enough right? Onto Friday...

Friday, 1/14/11

I am not a conceited person. Granted, I'm pretty self-deprecating for the most part. But, I have to start off by tooting my own horn for a moment. I was RIGHT ON THE MONEY in my December 17, 2010, column about Nate Salinger. Boo-yah!!!! That's right. I knew that little bastard framed Todd when he dropped off Dan-yella that night. If you don't believe me, go look. Sorry, I just am so proud of myself on this. I was spoiler free and fantasized this all up a while back so...yay. I talked about my Nate theory when I was discussing the suspect list. Ok, I won't be this obnoxious again...sorry.

Since I was discussing Nate, I'll continue the courtroom talk. People on the boards were upset with the courtroom antics and how the judge handled all the theatrics. Yes, he should have kicked Todd out but otherwise everything else was ok. Sure, there was some screaming and stuff but Nora didn't object to Tea's questioning. So, unless the D.A. objects then Tea has the right to go on. That's just the way it is. Anyway, everyone and their long lost father knew Nate didn't kill Eddie. So, he just thinks his mom did it since the gun was there? I am confused about that. God, Inez looks so meek and lowly on the witness stand. Man, I thoroughly relished Tea going after her ass. She is awesome in the courtroom. Speaking of that, writers: Please make Nora a defense attorney again. Several reasons: 1. That is how she was brought onto the show. 2. It made for GREAT material for her and Bo being on opposite sides. 3. Hello, ummm she won an effing EMMY for her work as the defense attorney for the Spring Fling rape trial. Oh, and how we can forget Dorian's trial for murdering Victor Lord. AWESOME TOWN!!! She deserves better courtroom material. God, since I'm already off topic lemme just go further. For the life of me, I cannot understand why NO ONE and I mean NO ONE has discussed Nora's kidnapping!!!! WTF is going on in Llanview, let alone at the LPD? REALLY SHOW? REALLY? The D.A. and wife of the Police Commisioner for crying out loud was kidnapped and held hostage and almost raped and NO ONE is discussing it?! Hell, Bo acts like he forgot about it. Is everyone drinking Kool-Aid in Llanview??? This is crazy! I mean, does Clint even know how dangerous things got? This needs to be addressed cause it is a HUGE hole in the writing. This story could be a good one and go on for while and be totally milked...or at least I hope so. Man, I'm exhausted after that. Anyway, Inez didn't kill him...I think. But we shall see...

Well, let's just go on and for the record books say Clint is a cold-hearted bastard. Rex is his SON for crying out loud. I just don't get this. He didn't act like this when he found out Cord was his son...or at least not as badly. I don't know why Rex is this huge exception? I mean, besides Rex his only biological child is Natalie. He adopted everyone else. I just don't get it. Anyway, Clint is unraveling...and I can't wait for the backlash.

Dare I say, I'm developing a soft-spot for Vimal?! Sure, he does really ditzy things (I CANNOT believe Clint trusts him with all this information) but I find him likable. I know he comes clean next week about the paternity swap so this ought to be good. So, let's do this paternity thing shall we? Ok, so we can conclude Vimal switched Natalie Banks' results since he didn't know Clint had TWO daughters having tests done. Therefore, John is indeed the father of Natalie's baby but Vimal made it say Brody. AND, since Vimal supposedly only switched Natalie's results that means Brody is indeed the father of Jessica's baby. Ok, groovy we have that straight. Now, of course, I have no idea what Marty did when she was checking the results. So, who the hell knows.

While we are on babies, let's discuss their parents. Jessica and Brody are pretty effing adorable and that's all I have to say about them. Oh Natalie, I mean I used to like you...really, I did. But this lie is OUT OF CONTROL and for NO REASON!!!! This is stupid. Plain and simple. There was no need to lie about all of this in the first place and now it has snowballed! The Natalie of like, I dunno, 2005 wouldn't have done this. This is a crock.

How in the world did Marty get out of those restraints?! And then put Roxy in the bed?! Lord have mercy! And, not to mention, you mean to tell me NO ONE saw her leave the room, go to her office and get her white coat, and then walk back to the nursery? PUH-LEEZE show! Everyone in the hospital knows that Dr. Marty Saybrooke has flipped and being restrained in the bed and no one pays attention to her roaming the halls? Just. Not. Believable.

That's my two cents. I'm exhausted from typing up 2 columns. All I can say is I'm so damn excited about this week. I believe we get the unraveling of Clint Buchanan and I CANNOT WAIT for Bo to pull his gun on Clint in the barn. AWESOME TOWN.

Happy Sunday Funday!
ME

I'M BAAAACCCCKKKKKKKK......

Ok, wow! So, surprisingly people actually read this and were upset when I stopped posting. That being said, thanks to all who read and enjoy my mindless, sometimes harsh, commentary. My posts haven't been futile; therefore, I'll keep posting until a.) I'm forced to quit, or God forbid b.) OLTL is cancelled.

I decided this past Thursday that I may post again. Therefore, I will start with a recap of Thursday's episode and then do a second column for Friday immediately after. Not to short change anyone, I'll do a quick summary of Monday through Wednesday. This pretty much is how I feel about the dramz that went down on those 3 days:
1. Marty--delusional and crazy as hell. Like crazy woman on a Lifetime movie. Bring it...word.
2. Those premature babies are the size of baby cows. Not realistic at all, show...come on.
3. Aubrey--dirty, dirty muskrat. She will straddle any living thing and somehow managed to pack an entire wardrobe with her from London to Llanview. The amount of clothes she brought is just NOT believable.
4. Joey is a goon. He is naive like Nermal on Garfield the cartoon show from the '90's.
5. John McBain seems somewhat fatherly and this disturbs me.
6. Dorian can rock a wig and Michael Jackson gloves.
7. Charlie--dumber by the day.
8. Vicki/Clint--I want them to hook up. Now is not the time but I need this to happen in 2011.

Ok, that's just a quick take on those three days. Hope I'm not too rusty. I'm sure I'll have to get my feet wet with Thursday's commentary and Friday's will be better. So, without further adieu...

Thursday, 1/13/11

Todd and Tea are ALWAYS in bed. Geez. Ok, I have to point this out: Tea is the ONLY person on the show that pronounces Inez's name correctly. Granted, Spanish was my language I was forced to take in high school and college so I know, but you would think that the writers of this show would be like "hey, this is the way you pronounce it." Hell, Bo says it like "eye-nez." Nora says "eh-nez." And everybody else just changes their mind daily with what to call her. Thank God Tea is saying it correctly but everyone needs to be on the same page. Impressive, I think Tea is doing research on Westlaw. Kudos to the show on that. The computer screen looked believable.

Sonofabitch, the teen scenes. Man, I was looking so forward to today's episode since I knew I was gonna get some Bo/Nora/Clint/Matthew and Todd/Tea action but now I'm livid. Starr/Lang scenes...vomit. These girls are sooooo boring. This is sad since Starr as a small child on the show was so damn interesting and sassy. She was a little smart alec child that would tell adults what to do and I used to look forward to her. Now, the writers stick her in shit scenes with Langston "as exciting as watching C-Span" Wilde and now I just find all of this unbearable. Not to mention, the conversations are the same thing over and over and over. "I like James but I have to stay true to Cole." "Ummm, I want to have sex with Ford but I can't base my relationship just on sex." AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! There is a reason OLTL lost some of it's momentum the previous week...too many teen scenes. This dialogue is as bad as the New Year's Eve episode. Enough before my blood pressure rises.

Ah...thank God. Hello Clint and Nora. Love these two together, not romantically, but I think they play so well off of each other since they are such seasoned actors. OF COURSE, Matthew is back to looking like Patrick Bateman from "American Psycho." WHY?! I mean, is it a pre-requisite for all young interns at BE to wear hair gel and look like douches? He looks like pip-squeek. When he was with his parents the other day at the garret, he looked like a perfectly normal teenage kid and now he looks 10 shades of creepy. I'm telling you: he looks like he is going to listen to Phil Collins or Huey Lewis while he critiques his business cards and contemplates chopping people up JUST LIKE Patrick Bateman. Seriously watch clips from "American Psycho" on youtube or something if you haven't seen it. The resemblances are striking. Anyway, at least Matthew listened in on the convo. I know most people were frustrated on the message boards and said Nora was being an idiot by not catching on that Clint is behind all this. I think differently. She was curious if she and Bo divorcing would make Clint happy AND she had some dubious looks on her face as she left his office. So, yes, I think she will be shocked once she hears the truth on Tuesday that Clint was behind it all but I think she knows something is off right now. Oh, and obviously we were robbed of the scenes where Matthew questioned his mom about having an affair. The spoilers said we would get that scene but obviously we got gipped...grrr.

UGH...Inez. What a boring little mouse she is, right? Thank God for Rex! Hell, it seems Rex is more concerned about the demise of Bo's marriage than Bo is...at least that is how it came across at first. I can honestly say that Bo Buchanan has his brain back...officially. Sure it happened about 24 minutes into Thursday's episode but it's back and I hope it's here to stay....hip hip hooray. Ooooh...that rhymed. Anyway, I am curious as to why they didn't show Rex ever-so-skillfully snooping through Marty's office or Inez's apartment. They always show him prowling and almost getting caught and then hiding in some conspicuous place yet no one sees him. I kinda wish we would have gotten that scene. Anyway, thank you Rex for moving this story along and making Bo "my Bo" again.

Sweet Jesus! Can we please have a Nora/Tea friendship?!?! I love this. They are great together! Tea needs a good girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, I love her newfound friendship with Blair but they will be at odds again I'm sure. I like them as frenemies better, not friends. Anyway, I don't think Inez did it? Do I? Nah, my money is on Clint, in some form of another. Whether it be his minions doing the killing or Clint knowing who. That's my thing for today. It will change tomorrow I'm sure. Oh, and Nora's memory loss will play a big part in that I'm sure. Oh, holy hell, I've been meaning to talk about that quickly. So OLTL, Nora has a period of missing time and NO ONE discusses it?!?! WTF is going on??? I mean, at the hospital Bo asked the doctor if there was any head trauma and the doc said "no" but still. Hello? This woman blocked out KILLING Colin McIver years ago and Bo or Nora aren't worried about this missing chunk of time. To me, this is a big hole in the story. Bo and Nora are too smart to not discuss this...or at least be worried about it. Seriously, no memory of being missing after the wreck and it's not discussed? Please. Anyway, Nate is so unbelievable...just completely and totally. I'll discuss more of this for Friday's column.

Awe, Nora lit up when Bo walked in despite of everything going on. My heart strings: officially tugged on.

Ok, lemme take break and write Friday's column. Glad to be back darlings!
ME